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O'Brien McMahon - Unleashing Curiosity & Growth · Quarterback DadCast | Intentional Fatherhood & Leadership at Home

• 0:03
  Speaker 1: Hi, I'm Riley.
• 0:04
  Speaker 2: And I'm Ryder and this is my Dad's Show.
• 0:06
  Speaker 2: Hey everybody, it's KCJ Cox with the quarterback Dadcast.
• 0:13
  Speaker 2: I'm excited to announce we have a brand new sponsor joining the show, which is called LatitudeSitkacom, a Latitude 57.
• 0:20
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• 0:28
  Speaker 2: Additionally, they are dedicated to supporting and promoting the local community, the culture, as well as protecting and preserving the natural beauty that the resources of the region have to offer us.
• 0:38
  Speaker 2: So I'm going there in June.
• 0:40
  Speaker 2: I can't wait.
• 0:40
  Speaker 2: And whether you're looking to find a wellness retreat, if you're looking for a place to take your favorite customer, if you're looking for a way to maybe take your leadership team, check out LatitudeSitkacom, because they will give you some amazing sea exploration from fishing to commercial fishing, wildlife tours, beach excursions, scuba diving, snorkeling, even paddle boarding.
• 1:01
  Speaker 2: If none of those sound interesting to you, well then go.
• 1:03
  Speaker 2: Stay on land and go ITVing, hiking, hot springs, yoga, take a massage in.
• 1:09
  Speaker 2: The team has over 20 years of local knowledge to serve you, and they also will be able to cook amazing meals while you are there staying in their facility.
• 1:18
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• 1:24
  Speaker 2: You won't regret it.
• 1:25
  Speaker 2: The majestic views will blow you away and, as I mentioned, I cannot wait to get there in June.
• 1:30
  Speaker 2: So with that, let's welcome LatitudeSitka to the podcast and get right to today's episode.
• 1:35
  Speaker 2: Hey everybody, it's Casey Jaycox with Quarterback Gatcast.
• 1:38
  Speaker 2: We are in season four, the tail end of season four.
• 1:40
  Speaker 2: Is we almost about to embark on the fifth year of this podcast, which, as I say that holy F not going to drop it up on this earlier, but man, that feels good to say, because without my good man, tyne Unes you know you've heard me giving him love before, but I will continue to give him love because Uncle Rico moment, he was my college receiver and we're all 86 from Yakima I bet I can throw that ball over the mountain, but two, he got me off my ass to get this thing going.
• 2:06
  Speaker 2: It's been so amazing meeting so many amazing dads and as the host, I get free therapy every time I talk to these fantastic fathers who are working hard to become that ultimate leader of their household.
• 2:15
  Speaker 2: And our next guest, the power of the referral, mrs Megan McCann.
• 2:19
  Speaker 2: This episode does not happen without her.
• 2:21
  Speaker 2: And she met this gentleman his name is O'Brien McMahon at a networking event and then we connected and immediately hit it off and he's the SVP of Lockton, which is a town awards insurance company.
• 2:32
  Speaker 2: We'll learn all about that.
• 2:33
  Speaker 2: He's been doing amazing things there for nearly the last 15 years.
• 2:36
  Speaker 2: He's the host of the people business podcast, has been doing that for nearly the last four years.
• 2:40
  Speaker 2: Not only is he a retiring CrossFit addict, like myself, he's a Ted Lasso fan but more importantly, he's working hard to become an ultimate quarterback or leader of his household.
• 2:50
  Speaker 2: So further ado, mr McMahon.
• 2:53
  Speaker 2: Welcome to the quarterback that cast Great to be here.
• 2:55
  Speaker 2: How about that intro?
• 2:57
  Speaker 3: That was the best one I've had in a while, first first dated for sure, first take no walk of music, no smoke, just boom.
• 3:05
  Speaker 2: we just dropping mics.
• 3:06
  Speaker 2: Okay, we always started each episode with gratitude.
• 3:09
  Speaker 2: So tell me, what are you most grateful for as a father today?
• 3:14
  Speaker 3: Grateful that I get to be home with my boys today.
• 3:16
  Speaker 3: I was out at a corporate event for three days last week and while it was a lot of fun, I got two little boys and so it's nice to just be home, be around them, get some snuggles from the two year old this morning and work from home today.
• 3:31
  Speaker 3: Do this and be around them.
• 3:34
  Speaker 2: Good answer, really good answer, I am.
• 3:37
  Speaker 2: I'm grateful for a great weekend of spending time with my son on watching him practice.
• 3:45
  Speaker 2: We actually have not done this.
• 3:46
  Speaker 2: We did a lot of competitive golf practice, which we usually just play, but he's got a big high school tournament coming up so we did this like fun putting grill, and I got just taken to the woodshed.
• 3:55
  Speaker 2: He just destroyed me.
• 3:56
  Speaker 2: And then I watched, got to watch my daughter play play hoop and she's sophomore and she, just how she plays, inspires me.
• 4:05
  Speaker 2: Obviously it's proud dad, little bias, but she's five, four and tougher in hell and love doing the things that don't show up in the stat book, like boxing out girls twice or size and diving for loose balls, and does never stops running and just plays intense defense and she's a good three point shooter and just fun and just fun watching her confidence rise and be around great girls, great teammates, and so I was grateful for those opportunities this weekend.
• 4:31
  Speaker 3: Yeah, finesse in a sport is great, but being a grinder translates a lot more.
• 4:36
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and not talking like dance floor grinder, you're talking like I mean that translates to, but no.
• 4:44
  Speaker 3: I was just talking about this with a coach that I worked with last week just about how having that tenacity can translate into all different areas of life.
• 4:56
  Speaker 2: Do you think it's?
• 4:57
  Speaker 3: taught or born.
• 4:57
  Speaker 3: You're born with it.
• 4:58
  Speaker 3: I don't think you can teach it per se, but I also think you can acquire it.
• 5:05
  Speaker 3: So I don't think it's something that somebody just either has or doesn't have.
• 5:09
  Speaker 3: I think you can develop it, but I think you have to inspire it in somebody.
• 5:13
  Speaker 3: I don't think you can teach it to somebody because it requires much more of an emotional commitment than just learning a skill.
• 5:22
  Speaker 2: I think that hit a struck a chord for me.
• 5:24
  Speaker 2: So the reason I asked is because my daughter she's always been aggressive, always when I grew up I was not that great I was.
• 5:31
  Speaker 2: I was maybe as your above average athlete and I was a quarterback.
• 5:34
  Speaker 2: That didn't.
• 5:34
  Speaker 2: I wasn't a runner, I was more of a pocket guy and I was decent speed but never was a runner.
• 5:39
  Speaker 2: And then I remember one time in college like I finally and if it was like you did, you wanted to get the respect of the guys.
• 5:45
  Speaker 2: You wanted to figure out how can I?
• 5:46
  Speaker 2: You can't just say I'm tough, but you got to like kind of earn it.
• 5:49
  Speaker 2: I remember one time there was a I was running like we rarely ran option but I maybe I checked to a option play and then went around the end, found a hole, went up and there was a corner and I just ran as fast as I could Lord my shoulder and just this great collision and I think it was like right, there was like something clicked.
• 6:08
  Speaker 2: I was like okay, wait a minute, that was fun.
• 6:10
  Speaker 2: And you always tell my daughter don't order my son to any plate hoop.
• 6:14
  Speaker 2: Like be the, don't be the, be the hammer, not the nail, and yeah, I'm just curious if you have that thoughts on that though.
• 6:23
  Speaker 3: Yeah, my, my mom always used to tell me before hockey games because I played hockey in lacrosse.
• 6:27
  Speaker 3: She always used to tell me to get hit early and she she found that from her observation in the stands that I played a lot better if I got laid out early in a game, or just I played better after getting crushed at some point, and so it would kind of light whatever that ignition was.
• 6:46
  Speaker 3: I I tend to be a, I think, a pretty mellow dude.
• 6:51
  Speaker 3: I can be pretty competitive, but I don't really like conflict a lot, but something about just getting hit sparks it and and off you go.
• 7:01
  Speaker 2: I agree when I I told that makes sense, because I remember in college, cause it's like so, uncle Rico, this is not meant to be this, but this is what curiosity does.
• 7:07
  Speaker 2: But that you made me think about that, like when, when I got hit, it just took the nerves away, yeah, and then you could play loose and like all right, here we go.
• 7:14
  Speaker 3: Yeah, maybe it's just that like little shot of adrenaline you get when that happens and it just focuses you and brings that just that little more intensity, gets you into that flow a little bit more.
• 7:26
  Speaker 2: Love it.
• 7:27
  Speaker 2: All right, I want to go inside the McMahon huddle, tell me about the team, tell me the members of the squad and then a little bit, and then tell me how you and your wife met, sure.
• 7:38
  Speaker 3: So my wife and I my wife Caitlin and I have been married for seven years now and we have two little boys, a four and a half year old and a two plus year old, and we live in Chicago, illinois.
• 7:54
  Speaker 3: We met it's actually a very funny story.
• 7:59
  Speaker 3: Her dad is my dad's or was my dad's gastroenterologist, and so, wow, my dad had a little bit of a colon cancer scare 13 years ago now Totally fine, but had to get quarterly colonoscopies as fun as that sounds and spent a lot of time in her dad's office and one day, coming out of a colonoscopy, they got to talking and he got her number and I called her and the rest is history.
• 8:27
  Speaker 3: No way.
• 8:29
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't think I've ever met someone that was your doctor Got set up through a colonoscopy.
• 8:35
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I guess too, definitely unique.
• 8:40
  Speaker 3: We had them stand up and tell the story at our rehearsal dinner and obviously everybody knew it, but we had them stand up and do it anyway.
• 8:46
  Speaker 3: And her dad's telling it and says you know, yeah, at first, you know, it was like any other patient.
• 8:53
  Speaker 3: But over time you build a little bit of a relationship and one of my two brothers in the back screams yeah, at first it was purely physical.
• 9:04
  Speaker 2: So good have you seen Fletch yes.
• 9:07
  Speaker 3: Not in a long time though.
• 9:09
  Speaker 2: But whenever I think so I've had a fortune, I've had one, you have had one colonoscopy and men, if you're, if you've not had a colonoscopy, or 40, get it done, go do it.
• 9:18
  Speaker 2: But I couldn't resist the sarcastic Dr Jellyfinger and Moon River, get your fists up.
• 9:25
  Speaker 2: Fists up there, dr Moon River, over Jordan, and then, but they're so important for us to do, yeah, and then you know, let me tell your dad.
• 9:33
  Speaker 2: I mean, I've had, I've had a former client of mine had a scare at like 46.
• 9:39
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so, man, if you're listening, go out and get your physical and get a colonoscopy.
• 9:45
  Speaker 3: I turned 40 in January.
• 9:47
  Speaker 3: Coming up, we're recording this in the fall of 2023.
• 9:50
  Speaker 3: So in early 2024, I turned 40.
• 9:53
  Speaker 3: And because of my dad's scare, they recommend I get it five years early.
• 9:57
  Speaker 3: So I am.
• 9:58
  Speaker 3: I am due at some point soon.
• 10:00
  Speaker 2: Well, I would, I would highly recommend, maybe around the masters, around around March Madness, because you got to take it easy right and just really let this thing heal.
• 10:10
  Speaker 2: You know, just milk it Right.
• 10:13
  Speaker 2: It's important stuff back there.
• 10:14
  Speaker 2: Tell me a little bit about the boys.
• 10:19
  Speaker 3: Our oldest.
• 10:20
  Speaker 3: His name is Bodie.
• 10:22
  Speaker 3: He is our oldest, who's four and a half.
• 10:26
  Speaker 3: He is the friendliest person I've ever met in my life.
• 10:30
  Speaker 3: He, as his teacher said the other day in a pre-k parent-teacher conference.
• 10:35
  Speaker 3: He's socially motivated and he just is absolutely like the most friendly version of my wife and myself that you could find, which is great to see, and it's fun to watch him navigate that way through the world because he just wants to be everybody's friend.
• 10:53
  Speaker 3: The other one, two and a half, is just like really coming online now, starting to speak a lot more, communicate his thoughts and ideas.
• 11:02
  Speaker 3: He is also a very sweet boy but is definitely different than his brother.
• 11:09
  Speaker 3: He is not as socially motivated.
• 11:11
  Speaker 3: He's, I would say, more curiosity motivated.
• 11:13
  Speaker 3: Whatever he's into, whatever he wants to do, that's the thing he's most passionate about at this point.
• 11:19
  Speaker 2: Awesome.
• 11:19
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I talked to my kids about the old time, about the word you said, one of my favorite words, which is curiosity, about I am a joke for server recording, but it's a superpower that many people let lay dormant.
• 11:29
  Speaker 2: It unlocks everything in life, I believe me.
• 11:33
  Speaker 2: Walt Disney talked about it, mike Langello talked about it, einstein talked about it.
• 11:37
  Speaker 2: Yet we, we, we don't like to listen to these.
• 11:40
  Speaker 2: You know, successful people in life were successfully his clues.
• 11:43
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and curiosity is just a great relationship starter builder.
• 11:48
  Speaker 2: And you know I always joke that the four-year-olds are the best salespeople ever.
• 11:53
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, just penetrate us with frickin opening questions and just finally we just break.
• 11:58
  Speaker 3: Sure, have everything, yeah you're right, it shouldn't be.
• 12:01
  Speaker 3: No, it should be.
• 12:02
  Speaker 3: Yes, here you go.
• 12:02
  Speaker 3: I Think curiosity is just something that is not rewarded in the school system, you know, and it's hard work is rewarded, but not curiosity so much.
• 12:16
  Speaker 3: And I was lucky in that when I was in college.
• 12:20
  Speaker 3: I was, I was gonna go in the business school and I was touring the communications building and I don't even remember why.
• 12:27
  Speaker 3: But in the building they you walked in and they had a TV studio and they had, all you know, it was a room, director's room, with all the TV screens.
• 12:36
  Speaker 3: In the other room was a recording studio with three cameras set up and it had in the director's room it had, you know, the switchboard cut to camera to cut to camera 3.
• 12:45
  Speaker 3: And I just thought that is the coolest thing ever.
• 12:48
  Speaker 3: And I Ask somebody, do you get to use that if you're a Communication major?
• 12:53
  Speaker 3: And they said, oh yeah, we, we have courses where we teach you how to do that.
• 12:56
  Speaker 3: And I just thought that is the coolest thing ever.
• 12:58
  Speaker 3: And I made the decision then to go for fun, versus what I thought was practical and I Could not get enough of it.
• 13:06
  Speaker 3: I wrote screenplays on the side, I shot some for fun in addition to the work we did for class.
• 13:11
  Speaker 3: I would stay after class and ask the teacher questions on how to set up different camera shoots or cut between different angles.
• 13:17
  Speaker 3: It was just something I was so interested in, wow and and I did well, and it didn't seem to hold me back at all, you know, not having the practical major, and so that sort of set me on a path to just say, oh, I can do this, I can follow the things that were interesting, and it sort of created a monster in that now there are too many things that I'm Interested in and I have to do the hard work of calling them back.
• 13:42
  Speaker 2: Hmm, do you?
• 13:43
  Speaker 2: Are you still involved in these sort of film?
• 13:46
  Speaker 3: so Not filmmaking right now, but it did come back when I started my podcast about three and a half years ago and I had all the sales experience from my day job and I had this really interesting kind of eclectic network, just from my general curiosity and all the different circles I ran in.
• 14:06
  Speaker 3: And then I also had this production experience from college and I somebody suggested podcasting and I started to do it and it just came together so naturally that I was like, oh, this, this makes so much sense, this is, this is three different parts of my life coming together in a moment that I couldn't have predicted before but Now adds so much value to me and I'm able to do it.
• 14:32
  Speaker 3: And I don't know that I'm the best podcast host, but it definitely.
• 14:36
  Speaker 3: The learning curve was not as steep, wow, and I just I believe Very much that people should just should really follow the things that they're interested in.
• 14:47
  Speaker 3: And you know, maybe you have to sit, you have to do a job that's not lighting you up to a hundred, but if you can find something that's good enough, puts you on a good trajectory, and then outside of that you can follow Whatever passion, pursuits and curiosities you have.
• 15:02
  Speaker 3: Like you just never know where that stuff is gonna come together.
• 15:07
  Speaker 3: Right, I interviewed a guy, fransy Hansen, who's South African.
• 15:12
  Speaker 3: He wrote the book the Medici effect and he has a whole business Consulting with companies on innovation and the whole point of the, the book the Medici effect, which is fantastic and I would recommend it.
• 15:24
  Speaker 3: How do you spell that?
• 15:24
  Speaker 3: The Medici's, like the in Italy, the Medici family, med, I see.
• 15:31
  Speaker 3: I think okay and the whole book is around why Florence, during their reign, exploded in innovation, whether it was arts, sciences, mathematics, literature, just everything exploded.
• 15:49
  Speaker 3: And it was because the Medici's Brought together all of the smartest people from around the country or, you know, around the known world there, and they brought them all to Florence in one place.
• 16:00
  Speaker 3: And it's not one part of the theory that Franz talks about is it's not one person being struck by lightning with innovation.
• 16:09
  Speaker 3: It is a Person who can pull together Various lessons and principles from disparate parts of the world.
• 16:18
  Speaker 3: That creates something totally new that you wouldn't be able to do otherwise, and he has a series of stories in there that explain that in pretty good detail, and so I just think that's kind of the.
• 16:30
  Speaker 3: The method that I've built my life is like I'll study anything that's interesting to me and you never know if or where it's gonna come together, but often things do.
• 16:40
  Speaker 2: Wow, I have a random Sorry, so you may think my buddy who I spent time with in the summers.
• 16:46
  Speaker 2: We go to this crazy Small remote island called Cuddyhunk Island off the coast of Massachusetts and a meta gentleman, former podcast guest, andrew Miano, shouted him.
• 16:56
  Speaker 2: My first met him as his son was playing.
• 17:00
  Speaker 2: Just, we're like throwing football on the beach.
• 17:02
  Speaker 2: All of a sudden, his Duke humor is hey, my son plays with you.
• 17:04
  Speaker 2: I'm like, yeah, man, let him in here, let's go.
• 17:06
  Speaker 2: We start running routes to chocking around and we start talking about you.
• 17:12
  Speaker 2: You know what do you do Ever?
• 17:12
  Speaker 2: He's like, oh, I'm in production movies.
• 17:14
  Speaker 2: I like, oh, wow, cool, like Locals, like nom, and like the Hollywood, like, oh, like anything I've heard of yeah, you heard of, meet the Fockers too.
• 17:20
  Speaker 2: I'm like what, when he's done such?
• 17:25
  Speaker 2: We did this book, one called the farewell, which received wards.
• 17:30
  Speaker 2: It's done some like it's like local, I would say smaller films, but he was literally.
• 17:33
  Speaker 2: He's gone to the Grammys every year.
• 17:36
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I think one of his movies did want to grab me, but it's Whenever I talked to him.
• 17:40
  Speaker 2: Like, dude, I that's like Like my inner will Ferrell wants to come out in those environments.
• 17:46
  Speaker 2: I think, even like a podcasting, I get to just let my personality fly and I mean the stuff we're talking about.
• 17:51
  Speaker 2: You know, freaking Dr Jelly finger in the beginning had nothing to do with dads but, like yet, we both giggled and it's having fun.
• 17:58
  Speaker 2: It's like it feels it's its way to bring some sort of like realness and authenticity to what we're doing, which bringing it back to fatherhood.
• 18:04
  Speaker 2: I think it's so important because we as dads and we can inspire that, whether it's what you're talking about.
• 18:09
  Speaker 2: You know, follow your passions.
• 18:11
  Speaker 2: Don't follow my passions.
• 18:12
  Speaker 2: That I want you to do.
• 18:13
  Speaker 2: Follow your passions, and I think it's our job as dads to stay curious, ask questions, help them, build confidence so that when they after the 18 seasons we get them before they go to from the minor leagues to the big leagues, they're ready to go.
• 18:27
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that's one of the things that I'm working on, now that my kids are starting to express themselves, is my wife Helps check me on this which I can be a really fast moving guy get from a to b, do the thing, get it done to move on, and and Even though I'm so passionate about things, I can move really quickly through those things, and the four-year-old and the two-year-old did not move as quickly as a 40 year old, and so One of the things that I've tried to catch myself on is Saying no or moving them on too quickly when the only reason I'm doing that is for my own convenience and it.
• 19:05
  Speaker 3: It can be hard and it's something I am not perfect at and I'm striving to be better at, but letting them explore things that are interesting or letting them do things that might be a little bit inconvenient or get them dirty or you know whatever, but that are kind of those foundational elements of curiosity I would hate to giving everything I just said before.
• 19:31
  Speaker 3: I would hate to accidentally strip them of that by moving too quickly.
• 19:37
  Speaker 2: So I think that's absolutely gold we just said.
• 19:38
  Speaker 2: And so usually what I like to do, I like to hold that question about asking dads where their gap is to the end of the episode.
• 19:43
  Speaker 2: But we're going to like totally shake it up and be audible, ready today in the spirit of quarterback, and which I like to ask dads what is an area your dad game you want to get better at?
• 19:51
  Speaker 2: And that might relate to other dads home, and I think what you said is going to hit every dad right in the face, right in the old junk without a cup on, like that is because we've all done it, I'm guilty of it, Sometimes I'm still guilty of it, and I think dads with younger kids what Orion said is gold because one he's not perfect at it A that's a, B he's, he's checking his ego to be coached by his wife and not getting to.
• 20:20
  Speaker 2: Maybe you do get defensive times I know I probably would at times, but then, but sometimes when our male ego stops like, wait a minute, what's my end goal here?
• 20:27
  Speaker 2: And goal is creating good kids, curious kids, good people, good employees, good friends.
• 20:33
  Speaker 2: Not because I need to get to the other email.
• 20:36
  Speaker 2: I got to get that and there's that's important I get, but like I think what you said is so important and I love that you shared that with us, man.
• 20:42
  Speaker 3: Yeah, well, thank you, and I would say that is probably a gap right now.
• 20:45
  Speaker 3: And then something that I'm working on.
• 20:47
  Speaker 3: I mean, even yesterday we were at the park and that the playground that we had had a big sandbox and it was cold in Chicago and my son said, can we go in the sandbox?
• 20:59
  Speaker 3: And I wouldn't let him.
• 21:00
  Speaker 3: And he really wanted to and and I didn't let him and I just didn't want to deal with the dirt and the grime and having to do a bathroom.
• 21:08
  Speaker 3: We got home and the whole thing and my wife was doing something else so I was on my own.
• 21:12
  Speaker 3: So even then, you know, I in hindsight it's like, yeah, I mean, what was the big deal?
• 21:18
  Speaker 3: I should have let him play it, and hopefully next time I'll be better at that, but it's definitely something I am working on.
• 21:24
  Speaker 3: And then, as far as your comment about being coached by my wife, a something I've been trying to do for the last couple years and again, this doesn't work out perfectly all the time, but whenever I get some kind of feedback, especially when I react really emotionally, when I get really angry or immediately dismiss it or something like that, I try as much as I can to sit with it for a second and say what about this is true, because the more emotional our response I find, the more that there is a nugget of truth.
• 22:01
  Speaker 3: That's just really hard to hear and it's probably the most psychically painful exercise I've been through, or one of them.
• 22:09
  Speaker 3: Every time you do it it's really hard to sit and admit a fault of yourself, but I find that there is some real gold in there and the more that you do it, the more it does open you up to being willing to be coached.
• 22:24
  Speaker 3: And not every piece of feedback you get is going to be right, but I think if you sit there and you think about it, you know with your most honest self you can often find something about every piece of feedback or something about every situation that triggers you that you can improve upon Totally love that For some like even yesterday, I'll be a little vulnerable to sort of like yesterday on the way to the basketball game.
• 22:50
  Speaker 2: I went to bed a little later because I was watching football game.
• 22:52
  Speaker 2: Woke up early, we have a puppy feeling good.
• 22:56
  Speaker 2: All of a sudden something chemically said oh you're tired and you're going to get a little grumpy.
• 23:00
  Speaker 2: And I was like I didn't want to be that dude.
• 23:04
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I just was tired and I was like, oh, but I was so excited, why should I be?
• 23:07
  Speaker 2: I'm going to basketball games, be fun.
• 23:08
  Speaker 2: And then, but there was other things in my head that I just wasn't communicating, that I was being selfish.
• 23:16
  Speaker 2: I was like I should have just said, hey, man, honey, I'm struggling, like this is pissing me off or this is what you think about this, just just compartmentalized it.
• 23:23
  Speaker 2: And then, for then, something clicked Because I was like dude not, and I was like literally getting mad at myself and I like we just kind of opened up and talked to her about and she's like, oh, okay, that makes sense.
• 23:34
  Speaker 2: And I was like, and I wasted like probably 33 minutes of life because I was just sitting in my own pitter party, just like you know, and was probably a tool to be around grumpy.
• 23:45
  Speaker 2: But then I was fine.
• 23:47
  Speaker 2: But like, sometimes, you know, again, I think, as an example, we're all flawed humans.
• 23:52
  Speaker 2: I wish we were perfect.
• 23:53
  Speaker 2: We're not, but I think it's.
• 23:54
  Speaker 2: But what do you do when those moments happen?
• 23:56
  Speaker 2: How quickly can you get it back on track, either through apology, apologizing, asking for help, you know, like, like I mentioned, say I'm sorry.
• 24:04
  Speaker 2: One of my good buddies, darren Ballmore.
• 24:06
  Speaker 2: We did an episode like way back in season one on the power of apologizing, which I know it's dudes we don't like to do all time, but what a gift we can give our kids when they see dad do that, I think.
• 24:17
  Speaker 3: Yeah, absolutely.
• 24:18
  Speaker 3: I fully believe in that.
• 24:20
  Speaker 3: And I to your point about energy.
• 24:22
  Speaker 3: That's something I spend time thinking about as well, because I've found that just since becoming a part of it, just since becoming a father, the energy drain is real and it's not so much people talk a lot about like oh, you're up all night and that kind of thing, and like, yeah, sometimes our kids sleep really well, so it's not that.
• 24:38
  Speaker 3: But there is just an element of intention integrity.
• 24:45
  Speaker 1: It recruitment.
• 24:46
  Speaker 1: We are McCann partners and I am Megan McCann, the CEO and founder.
• 24:50
  Speaker 1: Mccann partners is a Chicago based IT recruitment firm.
• 24:54
  Speaker 1: We support a growing portfolio of innovative organizations, from Chicago based startups to companies with a global footprint.
• 25:02
  Speaker 1: We are dedicated to creating a more equitable and diverse workforce and are proud that more than 70% of our talent placements since 2020 have been diverse hires.
• 25:13
  Speaker 1: We take pride in our work and invest time to hone our skills.
• 25:17
  Speaker 1: Case in point, our work with Casey Casey helped me and my team learn new habits of success and unlock the skills we already have been using the superpowers of humility, vulnerability and curiosity.
• 25:33
  Speaker 1: If you, the listener, are curious about our experience with Casey and his impact on the team and our business, please reach out to me via LinkedIn.
• 25:44
  Speaker 3: I'm a mental taxation that it takes on you.
• 25:46
  Speaker 3: And so I've spent a lot of time thinking about that because I can when I'm under slept I can be cranky as well as as most of us can, and so I've tried to make adjustments here or there, thinking about the the way I'm going to show up energetically.
• 26:03
  Speaker 3: I work with a coach, chet Scott, who says life's an energy management problem, and I it's interesting if you think about life that way and you know there are different things that you can do to impact your energy sleep, diet, meditation, gratitude.
• 26:19
  Speaker 3: You know there's, there's a bunch of that kind of stuff For me, I I found that alcohol just kills my energy, it just absolutely kills it.
• 26:29
  Speaker 3: And last summer I was, I switched with my kids were born to be working out in the morning before they get up, and so I'm up at 445, 450 at the gym, at 505.
• 26:42
  Speaker 3: And I can get back by 645 when they're red light, green light, clocks go green and they start calling for us and doing that, and then you know, and then doing my normal day to day kind of keeps me like right at an energy level I can sustain, and what I found was that I would have one drink on a Friday night, or two drinks on a Friday night and even going to bed early, and I would wake up wrecked the next day.
• 27:06
  Speaker 3: And there were three weekends in a row.
• 27:08
  Speaker 3: I took three hour naps.
• 27:09
  Speaker 3: My wife was like, do you have cancer?
• 27:11
  Speaker 3: What is happening here?
• 27:11
  Speaker 3: And I just said I was going to stop alcohol for a little bit and just see what happened.
• 27:16
  Speaker 3: And I was fine.
• 27:19
  Speaker 3: I just like I could get through the weekends no problem, had good energy, and so for the last year I haven't been completely sober, but I I've gone long chunks without alcohol, just because I find that it just does too much to me from an energy suck standpoint that I'd much rather just have the energy than have the drink.
• 27:38
  Speaker 3: Wow, good for you, dude, that's awesome.
• 27:41
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and it's not.
• 27:41
  Speaker 3: You know, it's not a moral decision, it's not anything like that.
• 27:45
  Speaker 3: I still enjoy alcohol, it's still fun with friends, but I I just don't.
• 27:50
  Speaker 3: In choosing between that or having energy for the kids during the day, I just most of the time will choose the energy.
• 27:59
  Speaker 2: Awesome.
• 27:59
  Speaker 2: Okay, I was like asking my guests to go back in time and talk about what was life like growing up for you, and I'd love to understand the impact your parents haven't had on you.
• 28:10
  Speaker 3: Now that your father I grew up in Connecticut pretty nice life and lifestyle.
• 28:18
  Speaker 3: It was an affluent area, so there's no like hard knocks story from.
• 28:22
  Speaker 3: My youth had two parents, two brothers I'm the oldest.
• 28:28
  Speaker 3: We played a ton of sports all year round, multiple sports per season.
• 28:33
  Speaker 3: That was being active was a big part of our childhood.
• 28:37
  Speaker 3: Growing up being competitive my mom is very competitive and so you know she would always drive us to be better and think about ways that we could improve.
• 28:52
  Speaker 3: I think the way, looking back at it now, a big way that my parents shaped me was both being willing to make me deal with discomfort so if I screwed up or made a mistake, being, you know, punishing me or just pointing it out to me in a way that made me clearly see that I had screwed up and and letting that be okay and letting me sit with that, which I think is really important and then also being just endlessly supportive and having this belief that my brothers and I could become anything we wanted to become.
• 29:33
  Speaker 3: And you know, even to this day she'll still say, well, you could have been fill in the blank if you wanted to.
• 29:38
  Speaker 3: There's no way I could have done that, and you know.
• 29:42
  Speaker 3: But she just had this unending belief in us and I think it created for me a belief in myself that there isn't any reason I can't go do something.
• 29:52
  Speaker 3: And it has led to things like me choosing the major for fun because, you know, it was something I believed I could do.
• 30:00
  Speaker 3: And it's led to a lot of other bold choices through my life that I've turned into great experiences, great memories, great lessons, and that is something that I want to give to my kids too.
• 30:10
  Speaker 3: I want to allow them to feel discomfort in life so that they can learn the lessons but then also instill that belief that they can do anything if they put the right effort into it.
• 30:23
  Speaker 2: Is there a story that comes to mind as you think about discomfort that you, that you went through at times as a kid, that that you'll maybe share with your kids, or the or you you've used as like motivation and work or life?
• 30:35
  Speaker 3: Sorry, I'm just trying to think of one.
• 30:37
  Speaker 3: So I have a lot of just I have a lot of stories of discomfort.
• 30:41
  Speaker 3: The ones that come to mind most are from adulthood, but if I'm thinking back on childhood, the thing that was probably most uncomfortable for me is that I, while I was athletic on the team, was a captain in some cases I had.
• 31:05
  Speaker 3: I'm somebody who tends to have a very tight group of friends, but very small group of friends and in some cases very early on, that would be one friend and I had a couple instances where I kind of went all in on a friendship and that person turned on me in a way, and it happened a couple different times.
• 31:23
  Speaker 3: And so dealing with the discomfort of that and trying to have my mom, you know, encourage me to have more friends and also not let it completely shut me off to the world, I think that was an important lesson.
• 31:38
  Speaker 3: But then also just that feeling of being an outsider, that feeling of not being quite good enough.
• 31:47
  Speaker 3: While that's definitely a feeling you need to work through in life and it's one that I have been working through in my life, it also has driven me to do a lot of really great, incredible things because I sort of was able to define myself and say okay, who do I want to be, regardless of what any of these people think, because a lot of them aren't going to think great things anyway.
• 32:06
  Speaker 3: So let's just go be who I want to be, and I think it's empowered me to have a strong sense of self.
• 32:12
  Speaker 3: So I don't know if that was what you were getting after, but that's what comes to mind from childhood.
• 32:16
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I know.
• 32:16
  Speaker 2: I just I'm always curious of stories of, because I think stories tell everything.
• 32:21
  Speaker 2: And even like the business coaching where I'm in, I always tell my clients stories sell slides, don't yeah.
• 32:26
  Speaker 2: And so like, if we can tell a story, people relate to it.
• 32:29
  Speaker 2: And so you know I have, when you said, discomfort me, immediately brought me back to like a moment and I was 11 and I told the story in this podcast before where I, you know, wasn't honest, had to own it, you know, had to apologize for my team and my mom maybe had to call the coach.
• 32:47
  Speaker 2: I mean those type of stories.
• 32:50
  Speaker 2: But you, almost 48, I still remember that like it was yesterday, yeah.
• 32:54
  Speaker 3: So I okay, so I got one.
• 32:55
  Speaker 3: Now that you say that I, I was out in high school and had a couple beers and I had driven that night and I drove home and I knew it was a bad idea.
• 33:08
  Speaker 3: But I had a friend who was sober, who kind of followed me home to make sure I got home safe and my mom every night I came home.
• 33:18
  Speaker 3: She didn't condone partying or drinking in high school, but she also was a realist and as long as I didn't lie to her and or do something like grossly over the line, like I was kind of okay and I might get a talking to, but I wasn't going to be grounded or anything.
• 33:35
  Speaker 3: And so I came home and she'd always have me give her a kiss goodnight so she could smell my breath in high school.
• 33:40
  Speaker 3: And she said, oh, you've been drinking.
• 33:43
  Speaker 3: And I said, yeah, you know, I had two or three beers.
• 33:46
  Speaker 3: And she said, well, you drove.
• 33:48
  Speaker 3: I said I know, but I had my friend follow me home and she just said, why?
• 33:52
  Speaker 3: So she could watch you die.
• 33:53
  Speaker 3: And I was like I mean it just that's so real quick.
• 33:58
  Speaker 3: And I remember just being like, okay, lesson, lesson taken there.
• 34:03
  Speaker 3: And she said Go to bed.
• 34:04
  Speaker 3: We'll talk about it in the morning.
• 34:05
  Speaker 3: And then in the morning, you know I was dealt my punishment, but it was just her like ability to be that blunt in that moment, waking up from sleep to call me on my bullshit.
• 34:16
  Speaker 3: What's your mom's name, you know?
• 34:18
  Speaker 3: Never did that again, gretchen.
• 34:20
  Speaker 3: I love you some, gretchen.
• 34:22
  Speaker 2: Yeah, mama McCann, let's go.
• 34:25
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I love it.
• 34:26
  Speaker 2: Man, she's bringing the heat.
• 34:27
  Speaker 2: She can.
• 34:28
  Speaker 2: She can bring it.
• 34:28
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I love it.
• 34:29
  Speaker 3: Love it, but she can yeah, she can bring the feedback.
• 34:33
  Speaker 2: What did mom and dad do?
• 34:34
  Speaker 2: His jobs?
• 34:36
  Speaker 3: My mom stayed at home, although she kind of always had a job on the side.
• 34:40
  Speaker 3: She made needlepoint belts from the couch and then had like a full leather shop in the basement and then that turned into photography.
• 34:49
  Speaker 3: She became a still is a professional photographer for, like local high school sports teams.
• 34:54
  Speaker 3: And then my dad owns a car dealership in Connecticut.
• 34:58
  Speaker 2: Okay so, as we think about the stories you shared.
• 35:00
  Speaker 2: Well, actually, before, I ask this where do you think your mom's competitiveness came from?
• 35:06
  Speaker 3: I don't know.
• 35:06
  Speaker 3: I think that was just innate in her.
• 35:08
  Speaker 3: She had a tough childhood growing up.
• 35:12
  Speaker 3: Her parents divorced, she wound up having to take care of her mother who had some pretty severe mental health issues.
• 35:20
  Speaker 3: She had a brother who passed away when she was 10 and he was 16.
• 35:25
  Speaker 3: He was in a car accident on Christmas Eve.
• 35:27
  Speaker 3: So I don't know, I think she just I think a lot of that combined to give her a sense that she was kind of on her own to take care of herself.
• 35:39
  Speaker 3: And I think she'd always been an athlete before that she had played sports growing up and just had a competitive nature and I think that, combined with the experiences she went through, just taught her you got to keep fighting.
• 35:51
  Speaker 2: Wow, so I want to go.
• 35:56
  Speaker 2: I do want to hit on the word belief.
• 35:58
  Speaker 2: You said that earlier.
• 35:59
  Speaker 2: But before I go there, if you think about your two brothers growing up, some of the stories you shared competitiveness, all things we talked about like tell me what.
• 36:12
  Speaker 2: What values did you take most from your childhood that now, as a dad, you and your Caitlin will be talking about with the boys.
• 36:19
  Speaker 2: That's most important to you from a father's perspective.
• 36:24
  Speaker 3: Back to belief.
• 36:24
  Speaker 3: That being one, back to having firm rules in place, that's another, and then just kind of goes in hand in hand with belief.
• 36:35
  Speaker 3: But love that's something that my wife and I talk a lot about just making sure that our children really feel supported and making sure that we communicate that with them on a regular basis.
• 36:50
  Speaker 3: So there's no doubt that dad loves them or mom loves them.
• 36:55
  Speaker 3: We say it multiple times a day.
• 36:57
  Speaker 3: All the time we're very physically affectionate family lots of hugs, lots of kisses, lots of rubbing noses or touching heads.
• 37:08
  Speaker 3: We have a lot of ways that we embrace each other.
• 37:10
  Speaker 3: So making sure they feel loved, that they feel believed in, but then also setting that line that there are repercussions in the world.
• 37:19
  Speaker 2: Love it pun intended, but didn't mean to say it, but I do love that.
• 37:22
  Speaker 2: I think there's so many dads I've interviewed even like my dad growing up there wasn't a ton of like.
• 37:27
  Speaker 2: My dad was super hands on.
• 37:29
  Speaker 2: I mean he was always going to all the sports, but I don't remember like a lot of affection of love and it didn't like it would impact me, but I just I knew that I wanted, I wanted that to be normal in our house.
• 37:39
  Speaker 2: I wanted my where we say I love you a lot.
• 37:41
  Speaker 2: Even now I'm a 17 year old and a 15 year old every day.
• 37:44
  Speaker 2: Hey guys, love you.
• 37:45
  Speaker 2: Have a great day.
• 37:45
  Speaker 2: Love you too, dad.
• 37:47
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 37:47
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 37:48
  Speaker 3: I mean my dad was not an overly affectionate guy but would give us a hug and a kiss on the cheek before we left in the mornings and you know he would tell us he loved us.
• 37:59
  Speaker 3: And I think, as I've got an older I mentioned I have small groups of friends.
• 38:04
  Speaker 3: I I have a group of very close friends from college and we aren't afraid to tell each other how we feel about each other, good and bad.
• 38:14
  Speaker 3: But I just think that strong men should not.
• 38:23
  Speaker 3: I think strong men don't feel uncomfortable expressing how they feel, because you can be strong and know that you're strong and be confident in being strong and also be willing to share whatever the human experiences that we're going through.
• 38:36
  Speaker 3: And I think I've been leaning in a lot, or at least thinking a lot about community over the last couple of years.
• 38:43
  Speaker 3: I was thinking about it before the pandemic, but definitely during and since the pandemic.
• 38:48
  Speaker 3: Well, I just think community is so important to human life.
• 38:54
  Speaker 3: I just think whether you're a man or a woman, I think we all need community.
• 38:58
  Speaker 3: And I think there are some studies that have come out looking at blue zones where people live really long times and they have really rich social lives, like having a rich social life will keep you alive longer, or having a rich community, I'll say, will keep you alive longer, and I think guys suck at that.
• 39:18
  Speaker 3: And I think that that that is definitely something that I have been working on as an adult is to really connect with other guys and I find that when I do, when I allow myself to be vulnerable, it helps other men be vulnerable, and I've made some really great friendships as an adult through that and I've had people come to me to have hard conversations because they can't find anyone else to have them with, who's who they feel comfortable like.
• 39:46
  Speaker 3: They're not going to be judged for that, and so I take a lot of pride in that and I just try to lead by example and just be a strong guy who's confident in who I am and capable and what I can do, and you know, also be vulnerable.
• 40:00
  Speaker 3: Love it man.
• 40:02
  Speaker 3: Yeah, not that I'm like the best or the most confident all the time, but I just think being willing to be vulnerable is important as a man.
• 40:12
  Speaker 2: You're speaking my language, brother, I am glad.
• 40:14
  Speaker 2: Shout out, megan, thanks for connecting us.
• 40:15
  Speaker 2: Vulnerability I've talked about vulnerability for a long time.
• 40:19
  Speaker 2: I talk about it, I always.
• 40:22
  Speaker 2: I have this equation when I, in my kind of business coaching role, I talk about the best leaders or the best relationship builders in my life, through one man's opinion, are the vulnerable.
• 40:30
  Speaker 2: They're humble and they're curious.
• 40:31
  Speaker 2: Yep, all three.
• 40:33
  Speaker 2: They're always like, they're not afraid to say I don't know, they're not, they're not afraid to, they're not going to be the ones to talk about themselves all the time, and they're.
• 40:41
  Speaker 2: They're.
• 40:41
  Speaker 2: They're always going to inspire people to ask questions, to get to hey, let's, let's keep learning.
• 40:46
  Speaker 2: You know, continuous improvement, continuous growth.
• 40:48
  Speaker 2: They're thinking about those things and so I love that you're doing that and you know I you're going to be episode to 20 something.
• 40:56
  Speaker 2: This thing comes out and I've, I've through the.
• 41:00
  Speaker 2: I mean this is kind of like my men's group per se, my podcast, but I've, I've met a lot of dudes that, like, they meet once a month.
• 41:08
  Speaker 2: You know, and probably I don't know what's stopping me, probably just the start.
• 41:13
  Speaker 2: You know, the start always stops us all.
• 41:16
  Speaker 2: But, like, maybe from our conversation with Brian I'll be thinking like maybe I'll find, like hey, I'll put it out to like five dudes, like hey, let's just, once a month, grab coffee in the morning and just shoot the shit.
• 41:25
  Speaker 2: Yeah, everyone comes with one thing they're happy about, one thing they're struggling with.
• 41:28
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I, I find I don't know about you, but I find that oftentimes, for some reason, those groups get judged or talk down about in society, like, oh, look at these weirdos who are going to do this thing.
• 41:46
  Speaker 3: And I find myself playing that voice in my head sometimes too, like, oh, do I want to go be a part of this type of thing?
• 41:53
  Speaker 3: Because, like, that's just weird.
• 41:55
  Speaker 3: Not that I don't do a number of weird things in my life, but there is this like judgment that we sort of pre label on those types of things.
• 42:03
  Speaker 3: And yet, if you look at back through humanity I think you mentioned earlier, like looking at the lessons, the strongest people have always created communities for themselves.
• 42:17
  Speaker 3: You know, you look at the masons, you look at the Stoics, you look at, I don't know, the PTA, right, like, healthy communities are communities that are connected.
• 42:26
  Speaker 3: And I, for some reason, it became not cool to be connected as we moved more individualized, like through the 90s, and I think somehow we got to reclaim that.
• 42:38
  Speaker 2: Yeah, well, maybe this episode we're gonna go viral, baby, and start this community.
• 42:43
  Speaker 2: Yeah, there you go.
• 42:45
  Speaker 2: I want to talk about belief.
• 42:47
  Speaker 2: So everybody at home you can't see it there's a belief sign behind me.
• 42:51
  Speaker 2: I'm a big Ted Lasso fan.
• 42:52
  Speaker 2: I'm also a big Bruce Brown fan, who is one of the most fantastic humans I've ever met.
• 42:58
  Speaker 2: He's a talented coach administrator.
• 43:02
  Speaker 2: He's in his 70s.
• 43:03
  Speaker 2: He's spent time with guys.
• 43:05
  Speaker 2: You may have heard of these people John Wooden, coach Shefsky, dean Smith, bucky O'Neill, dick Vermeel crazy wise dude who does a lot for coaching.
• 43:17
  Speaker 2: He wrote a great article called the Car Right Home.
• 43:19
  Speaker 2: Just Google the name Bruce Brown, car Right Home.
• 43:22
  Speaker 2: It'll help you everything in raising kids.
• 43:25
  Speaker 2: And then you and I talked about that and then about everybody.
• 43:32
  Speaker 2: About two or three weeks, two weeks after I first met O'Brien, I see his company Lockton.
• 43:36
  Speaker 2: They post a story on their Facebook, on their LinkedIn page, and they had frickin Jason Sudeikis show up at their event.
• 43:45
  Speaker 2: What the hell Tell us about that?
• 43:47
  Speaker 3: Yeah, so last week we had what we call our Global Growth Forum at Lockton.
• 43:53
  Speaker 3: We're a global insurance broker and so you know my day job is helping companies build their total rewards programs, their benefits, comp and retirement plans, and so me and all my peers get together once a year at this conference and there's a little bit of celebrating, a lot of transparency on how everybody performed, and then there's also a lot of really good sharing of best practices and growth opportunities and that kind of thing.
• 44:23
  Speaker 3: And we had an awards dinner, which is kind of the big dinner for everybody and their spouses, and it was Ted Lasso themed, so they had a bunch of stuff around, you know, some things you could take pictures in front of, and when you got to the table they had the little biscuits or whatever, the boss yeah that he made for his boss.
• 44:47
  Speaker 3: Every day they had those plus the recipe, which I thought was really cool, and we just thought that it was fun.
• 44:53
  Speaker 3: And Ted Lasso, there's a lot of lessons that we've all learned and talked about around.
• 44:59
  Speaker 3: You know how to be a better leader?
• 45:01
  Speaker 3: Because of the way that the show portrayed Ted and the rest of his crew, and so we all thought it was fun.
• 45:07
  Speaker 3: And there were a couple videos of Ted Lasso, you know, giving advice to people.
• 45:12
  Speaker 3: And then the CEO said you know, I just I wasn't sure what advice to give for this last group, so I just I invited Ted Lasso out to give it himself and out came Jason Sadegis and we all thought he was messing with us.
• 45:25
  Speaker 3: But out came Jason Sadegis and they sat down, they kind of did a fireside chat for about an hour, and he is a hilarious human being.
• 45:34
  Speaker 3: Our CEO is really funny too, and so the two of them together were great.
• 45:38
  Speaker 3: Our CEO grew up in Kansas City.
• 45:40
  Speaker 3: We're a Kansas City headquartered company.
• 45:42
  Speaker 3: That's where Jason is from and so they talked a little bit about childhood and growing up and some stories from his life and then got into the show and how they created it and the thing that stood out for me if I was going to take a lesson away from it was we had talked during the week a lot about the right way to lead and and being willing to lead with kindness and with vulnerability, and a lot of what we've talked about here and Jason talked about, which has been written about a lot the camaraderie and the culture that they had on the show and whether you were in the cast or you were in the crew, everybody was happy to be there and everybody was supportive of each other and from the way they treated each other to the way they wrote the characters, they were willing to say I'm sorry, they were willing to give each other grace, they were willing to forgive each other and you know it turned into a high performance team.
• 46:40
  Speaker 3: It turned into a team that created something magical in its time and I think that was a great lesson, that it didn't need to be cutthroat to be great so good, so good.
• 46:53
  Speaker 2: Oh, my god, I, I, I.
• 46:54
  Speaker 2: I hope that, ted, I hope Sadekas, if you're out there, buddy, take a listen, this one and maybe, if you're a, maybe he'll come on eventually.
• 47:01
  Speaker 2: That, but what a.
• 47:02
  Speaker 2: I can't.
• 47:03
  Speaker 2: I mean, you said that story like if I was in your, if I was in working for locked in, and my CEO said that and I was said, let's bring Ted.
• 47:09
  Speaker 3: I would have freaked out yeah, with a number of us did so good well, and I love that you're.
• 47:16
  Speaker 2: Shout out to Gretchen again mama, make me ma'am, I do, I'm not gonna come, she's, but why is she got more life experience?
• 47:24
  Speaker 2: But I'm striving to be like Gretchen because my I always tell my kids you can do anything you want and I always tell my daughter when she plays hoop, I go, when you, when you step on the court, I want you to visualize you're a pit bull, you've not eaten in a week and you're on a beach and then when they take off the leash, let you know, let you run for an hour, no rules, except you got five fouls.
• 47:46
  Speaker 2: And then when those fouls are done, then you can't play anymore, but play like a craze and and also believe that you, no matter how hot, because she's only five, four, but she plays taller than she is because she's scrappy.
• 47:58
  Speaker 2: But I'm like, why not become the first female president?
• 48:01
  Speaker 2: Now, what I want?
• 48:02
  Speaker 2: That stress for a family?
• 48:03
  Speaker 2: Probably not.
• 48:04
  Speaker 2: But why not?
• 48:04
  Speaker 2: Why not go do something?
• 48:06
  Speaker 2: And I told my son, listen, but I, if you had told me I would wrote a book in high school, they'd be like with scratch and sniff about football.
• 48:15
  Speaker 2: I mean, there's no way I would have done that.
• 48:17
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but why not?
• 48:19
  Speaker 2: I did and I learned.
• 48:21
  Speaker 2: And then I think about college football.
• 48:22
  Speaker 2: There's two guys I played with again in John Kittner, former NFL quarterback, and the guy named Mike Riley, former CFL.
• 48:27
  Speaker 2: Well, going the Hall of Fame there, you want a great cup up in Edmonton and VBC.
• 48:33
  Speaker 2: The difference between me and them was belief, just a teeny bit.
• 48:37
  Speaker 2: Like I remember when I got done playing college you're like, oh, you can be got a chance to go play overseas.
• 48:42
  Speaker 2: And I didn't end up doing it and I had a chance playing the rena league and then I'm doing it.
• 48:45
  Speaker 2: But I was almost just grateful to be done, like I can, just I can move on.
• 48:49
  Speaker 2: For what a reason, I don't know, but there was like just a teeny bit of belief.
• 48:53
  Speaker 2: But if you ask Kitt or Meryl Lee, they'd be like, yeah, I'm playing league, why wouldn't I keep playing?
• 48:58
  Speaker 2: Of course, yeah, it's just tea and that's the littlest things like that.
• 49:02
  Speaker 2: And so like I do my best just to teach that when my kids about just believing yeah, well, I'm having the audacity to try.
• 49:11
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I think it's so important and it's led to great successes and just great experiences in my life.
• 49:18
  Speaker 3: So it you know, a good story is when I was proposing to my wife I wanted to do something that was big and memorable.
• 49:26
  Speaker 3: My wife is a professional ballet dancer, performed here in Chicago for 10 years, and I thought it would be fun to to propose after a show and to pull her out of the boughs and do this kind of big surprise thing on stage in front of the audience and like, really go big.
• 49:47
  Speaker 3: And so they perform this Christmas, they perform the Nutcracker on Christmas Eve.
• 49:54
  Speaker 3: And so she thought I flew home.
• 49:56
  Speaker 3: I didn't, my family actually flew in.
• 49:59
  Speaker 3: Her family was already planning to come in, and then we had some.
• 50:02
  Speaker 3: Some of her family friends lived in Chicago and we're gonna host Christmas Eve for her family anyway.
• 50:07
  Speaker 3: And so I just called the director and said here's what I want to do.
• 50:13
  Speaker 3: What do you think?
• 50:14
  Speaker 3: And he said I think that's a terrible idea.
• 50:16
  Speaker 3: And he said I don't.
• 50:20
  Speaker 3: I don't think that's gonna work it for a number of reasons.
• 50:23
  Speaker 3: And he was right.
• 50:25
  Speaker 3: And he said but here's what we could do.
• 50:27
  Speaker 3: We could leave the house lights up and after everybody clears out, we could let you on stage and we could lure her back up to the stage and you could propose there in front of your family.
• 50:36
  Speaker 3: And I said, yeah, let's do it.
• 50:40
  Speaker 3: And so everybody showed up, we all watched the show from the back, trying to keep our playbills up above our faces, and and once the show was over she went down to you know, say Merry Christmas to all the cast and crew and one of her friends lured her back on to the stage where I was standing and proposed and all of our family got to see it and we got some great pictures.
• 51:02
  Speaker 3: And then we got to spend a wonderful Christmas Eve and Christmas Day together and her friends all were all still there, so they all came out and celebrated with us on stage and it, like it, turned into this awesome epic night and and weekend and it wasn't what I had originally planned but it was still amazing and I found that that has happened over and over again that if you just kind of shoot for the craziest thing, very rarely do you hit it, but you wind up getting to something.
• 51:34
  Speaker 2: That's pretty awesome anyway that is a fantastic story.
• 51:38
  Speaker 2: You, if I mean honest, but I actually right.
• 51:41
  Speaker 2: And you said that this is a random, weird dude.
• 51:43
  Speaker 2: Most quarterbacks we have a screw loose.
• 51:44
  Speaker 2: I thought, oh my god, he's gonna get in tights and do some crazy.
• 51:47
  Speaker 3: He's gonna be part of the show well, no, I that I did not do, although I've seen some of the shows enough that I threatened to do that.
• 51:54
  Speaker 3: That's the only time I've dressed up as a ballet dancer was on Halloween many years ago, when I, my wife and I, went as the white and black swan.
• 52:03
  Speaker 2: Wow, last Halloween thing I actually want us to have last two years ago.
• 52:07
  Speaker 2: There you go, legit stash to full.
• 52:11
  Speaker 2: My daughter was like so pissed to me, dad, you look, do not pick me up at the bus, stop like that and you're gonna get arrested.
• 52:18
  Speaker 2: Okay, that's great.
• 52:20
  Speaker 2: We wrap up here.
• 52:21
  Speaker 2: If you think about summarizing everything we've talked about, the dads can take a few like two or three nuggets of we'll call wisdom from our conversation to become a better leader of their home, better dad, better friend, better husband.
• 52:32
  Speaker 2: Brian, tell me what comes to mind.
• 52:36
  Speaker 3: I mean I'm not gonna tell anyone how to be a better dad.
• 52:39
  Speaker 3: I think just keep trying.
• 52:40
  Speaker 3: That's the.
• 52:41
  Speaker 3: That's it.
• 52:41
  Speaker 3: I mean I'm making mistakes all the time.
• 52:44
  Speaker 3: I think we all are.
• 52:45
  Speaker 3: It's just figure out what's important to you and and keep trying to be good at it now that, what about?
• 52:54
  Speaker 2: so how about we're not gonna get our pedestals and tell them because we're perfect, that's because we're far from it.
• 52:57
  Speaker 2: But like, what about?
• 52:58
  Speaker 2: Maybe a couple themes?
• 52:59
  Speaker 2: I love keep trying.
• 53:00
  Speaker 2: That's a fantastic piece of advice.
• 53:02
  Speaker 2: Just just show up right, be dead.
• 53:03
  Speaker 2: But what might be a couple other themes that you've that you were like as we talked maybe you got a little inspired.
• 53:09
  Speaker 2: No, I did from as the host.
• 53:10
  Speaker 2: But anything else come to mind that that dads can say I mean, really think about this don't be afraid to have your kids feel bad.
• 53:19
  Speaker 3: I think that's one we've kind of talked about a little bit, but I I remember reading in it a book that I really liked on leadership.
• 53:26
  Speaker 3: Our ability to lead other people goes only as far as our willingness for them to be uncomfortable, and I think you know we talk about putting rules in place and boundaries in place for the kids.
• 53:36
  Speaker 3: I think there are, there are gonna be times, if the rules are really there, that they feel bad and they've failed or they've gotten some punishment, and I think that that's okay and we have to be willing to let them feel uncomfortable.
• 53:47
  Speaker 3: Likewise, we have to be willing to let ourselves feel uncomfortable and we have to be willing to not numb out or miss those lessons as well gold.
• 53:56
  Speaker 2: Love that comfortable being uncomfortable the phrase I've heard a lot in my time.
• 54:02
  Speaker 2: If people want to learn more about you I actually hate that phrase, by the way do how come?
• 54:07
  Speaker 3: I do.
• 54:07
  Speaker 3: I don't hate it, but I dislike it.
• 54:09
  Speaker 3: I think it's misleading.
• 54:10
  Speaker 3: I I don't think we are ever comfortable.
• 54:13
  Speaker 3: I think we have to accept being uncomfortable, but I think getting comfortable, being uncomfortable in it, leads to people thinking that they get comfortable at some point and that I think it's just semantics.
• 54:28
  Speaker 3: But I think it misses the point.
• 54:30
  Speaker 3: I think I think being uncomfortable is always uncomfortable and you just have to accept that you're gonna be uncomfortable a lot of the time and bright that's my little words matter thing.
• 54:40
  Speaker 2: No, I get what's funny.
• 54:41
  Speaker 2: I think I love the be honest man.
• 54:45
  Speaker 2: This is what it's about.
• 54:45
  Speaker 2: I think.
• 54:46
  Speaker 2: Yeah, how about embrace, being uncomfortable, love it.
• 54:48
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you know.
• 54:49
  Speaker 2: Yeah, my phrase that I can't stand is fake it to you, make it mm-hmm yeah, I think it's the worst piece of vice ever.
• 54:56
  Speaker 2: Actually before I spoke on stage with a company one time.
• 54:58
  Speaker 2: The head of marketing went out and told his whole team hey, you guys, we got to fake it.
• 55:02
  Speaker 2: You make it.
• 55:02
  Speaker 2: Sometimes.
• 55:03
  Speaker 2: I'm like, oh my god, there's a slide that I'm about to present on that says don't do that.
• 55:07
  Speaker 2: The exact ops.
• 55:07
  Speaker 2: I'm like this is gonna get really awkward.
• 55:09
  Speaker 2: So I had to like say, hey guys, sorry, real quick, everybody go, just earmuffs.
• 55:13
  Speaker 2: I can talk to your marketing.
• 55:14
  Speaker 2: We're gonna do it.
• 55:14
  Speaker 2: Live here and pretend that you guys aren't listening.
• 55:16
  Speaker 2: I want to apologize to you now because I'm gonna tell your team do the exact opposite.
• 55:19
  Speaker 2: I hope that you can be open-minded to what I'm gonna say.
• 55:22
  Speaker 2: I'm gonna be open-minded what you're gonna say and we can be buddies.
• 55:24
  Speaker 2: We leave that sound good.
• 55:25
  Speaker 2: I'd like try to like make light of it, but it was like, but I think it's.
• 55:29
  Speaker 2: But I agree to you like every word does matter.
• 55:31
  Speaker 2: Yeah, all my kids that I've been.
• 55:33
  Speaker 2: I I learned that in business when I was in corporate.
• 55:35
  Speaker 2: I talk about that life like words are words for a purpose, right?
• 55:39
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so I actually love you.
• 55:41
  Speaker 2: They said that.
• 55:42
  Speaker 2: Okay, if people want to learn more about locked in.
• 55:44
  Speaker 2: They want to learn more about you.
• 55:46
  Speaker 2: They want to learn more about your podcast.
• 55:47
  Speaker 3: Tell me the best way I can lead them to learn more about what you guys are up to yeah, I mean, if you want to check out, if you want to check out me or interact with me, linkedin's probably the best place to do that.
• 55:56
  Speaker 3: I'm pretty active there.
• 55:57
  Speaker 3: O'brien McMahon spelled like the two last names.
• 56:01
  Speaker 3: If you want to check out our company, locked and see what we do, just locked in calm, hello, ck to end calm.
• 56:08
  Speaker 3: And then the podcast is people business.
• 56:11
  Speaker 3: So you can go to people business podcast calm, or look for people business with O'Brien McMahon on any podcast app.
• 56:18
  Speaker 3: It's bright yellow, it's hard to miss.
• 56:20
  Speaker 3: And then, if it's okay, I'd love to give one more shameless plug, which is you mentioned writing a book.
• 56:27
  Speaker 3: I actually have a children's book coming out this fall that I wrote using some of the lessons that I've picked up at work through some of the leadership development I've done, but written for my two boys, and so it's a.
• 56:39
  Speaker 3: It's called how you become you and that will be available on Amazon or Barnes Noble online later this year dude, how to just drop that bomb on us.
• 56:50
  Speaker 2: We should have been talking about in the early what the hell?
• 56:53
  Speaker 2: How you become you okay, is it?
• 56:56
  Speaker 2: So?
• 56:56
  Speaker 2: If it's already written and it just has been published, yet, it's already written as of today.
• 57:00
  Speaker 3: Actually, the illustrator sent me the final high res file, so I'm gonna upload it to my publisher and do some pre-sale stuff and some marketing stuff over the next couple months and it should go live the week of Thanksgiving 2023 so we are in October 9th.
• 57:18
  Speaker 2: If you want, I can make this episode come out right around then so we can get some sure, some free, that's a lot of boost marketing how you become you everybody.
• 57:29
  Speaker 2: This episode will come out live the week of, of or near Thanksgiving, and so go out, check out how you become.
• 57:35
  Speaker 2: You talk into a real, legit author, and I think it's gonna be fantastic, even though I might when it touches on a lot of what we talk about.
• 57:43
  Speaker 3: So it's all about.
• 57:44
  Speaker 3: It's all about how to just try as much as you can in the world, try to think about the things that you love, think about the things that you believe, get really clear on who you are, how you want to live your life, and then be encouraged to go push yourself further and try more and, you know, have a great time doing it, love it, fantastic, we'll make sure we do that.
• 58:09
  Speaker 2: I'll make sure I pick up a copy.
• 58:10
  Speaker 2: Okay, now it's time to go into the lightning round, where I go completely random.
• 58:14
  Speaker 2: I just gonna show aside of me that I have a complete screw loose, which has obviously been probably well documented throughout this episode.
• 58:21
  Speaker 2: Your job is to answer these questions as quickly as you can.
• 58:23
  Speaker 2: My job is to try to get a giggle at you.
• 58:25
  Speaker 2: All right, okay, true or false?
• 58:30
  Speaker 2: You once beat walley's erbiac in a game one-on-one from Miami, ohio, false though I did go to Miami, okay, true or false?
• 58:39
  Speaker 2: Your favorite song is lost in your eyes by Debbie Gibson.
• 58:41
  Speaker 2: False, okay, true or false.
• 58:45
  Speaker 2: You once won the CrossFit Games by deadlifting 1,300 pounds false, though I have competed at regionals in the team competition okay, I really thought that might get a good body, but you got this guy's stone faces still, I can't break it.
• 58:59
  Speaker 2: Tell me your favorite favorite hockey team, the New Jersey Devils Freaking, they're tough and they're physical.
• 59:10
  Speaker 3: So I have to caveat that with that was my favorite team growing up.
• 59:13
  Speaker 3: When they did the reshuffle in, like 2000 or whenever that was, I kind of lost track of it all and I still will root for them.
• 59:21
  Speaker 3: But also have several other teams that I will root for.
• 59:26
  Speaker 2: So how about you, Badard fan?
• 59:29
  Speaker 3: It's been fun to watch, you know, when they won their cups.
• 59:32
  Speaker 3: I don't know that I would claim to be a Blackhawks fan, but I'm definitely a fan of Chicago and it was fun to watch and be a part of that whole thing.
• 59:40
  Speaker 2: Very cool, alright, if I just come to your house for dinner tonight, what are you making me?
• 59:45
  Speaker 3: We've got some leftover chili that we are eating.
• 59:46
  Speaker 3: My wife made the Ted Lasso biscuit recipe with cornmeal instead of almond flour, and so we have this sort of like corn biscuits that we've been dipping in the chili.
• 59:58
  Speaker 3: It's really good.
• 1:00:00
  Speaker 2: Nice fall meal.
• 1:00:01
  Speaker 2: If we were to go into your phone and listen to a song that would shock everybody at Lockton, tell me what song that would be.
• 1:00:11
  Speaker 3: I think I'm a pretty open book, but the latest song that I've been rocking out to is Hello Danger from the Across the Spiderverse soundtrack.
• 1:00:21
  Speaker 2: Okay, I have no idea.
• 1:00:22
  Speaker 2: That was like German.
• 1:00:24
  Speaker 2: We just spoke, so I'll make sure I go check that out.
• 1:00:26
  Speaker 3: Yeah, if you've seen the Spiderverse animated movies.
• 1:00:29
  Speaker 3: They're two of the best movies superhero movies I've ever seen.
• 1:00:34
  Speaker 3: Okay, and there's a song, a rap song, from one of them called Hello Danger that I have been listening to every time I work out.
• 1:00:39
  Speaker 3: It gets me going.
• 1:00:40
  Speaker 2: There we go.
• 1:00:41
  Speaker 2: Tell me the last book you read.
• 1:00:43
  Speaker 3: Dark Matter.
• 1:00:44
  Speaker 3: Just finished it.
• 1:00:46
  Speaker 2: Okay, if you and Caitlin, if you and Caitlin were going to go on vacation right now without the kids, tell me where you're going.
• 1:00:53
  Speaker 3: That is funny because I don't know, because we are in the process of planning that.
• 1:00:57
  Speaker 3: As I mentioned, I'm turning 40 in January and we are figuring out where we're going to go for a couple of days, and so I don't know.
• 1:01:03
  Speaker 3: If you have ideas, I'm taking suggestions.
• 1:01:08
  Speaker 2: My wife and I were about to celebrate 25 years of marriage, and so Tahiti's on the list for us.
• 1:01:13
  Speaker 2: Bora Bora, ooh, there you go.
• 1:01:15
  Speaker 3: We've only got like three days to pull it off.
• 1:01:18
  Speaker 3: So we're thinking maybe somewhere in the Caribbean we fly Southwest a lot, so somewhere tropical that they fly.
• 1:01:24
  Speaker 2: That sounds nice, if there was to be a book written about your life.
• 1:01:30
  Speaker 2: Not, you're the author, but there's a book written about your life.
• 1:01:32
  Speaker 2: Tell me the title.
• 1:01:33
  Speaker 2: Just keep going, just keep going, keep on trucking, just keep on trucking.
• 1:01:39
  Speaker 2: It's like freaking yeah.
• 1:01:43
  Speaker 3: I am not very special, but I'm hard to keep down, so I most of my success in life has come from just not stopping Love it man, show up half the battle.
• 1:01:55
  Speaker 2: Okay, just keep going.
• 1:01:56
  Speaker 2: Now, oh, brian, it's an.
• 1:01:58
  Speaker 2: Every airport it's blown up and it's crushing how you become you.
• 1:02:03
  Speaker 2: Unfortunately, it's crushing when the relationship not the deal.
• 1:02:05
  Speaker 2: Every book out there, it's just crushing it.
• 1:02:07
  Speaker 2: And so now Hollywood has found out about it and they want to make a movie about it.
• 1:02:11
  Speaker 2: And now you're the casting director and I need to know who is going to start you in this critically acclaimed, hot new movie.
• 1:02:18
  Speaker 3: God, I don't even know.
• 1:02:19
  Speaker 3: Everyone I'm told I look like is older than me and doesn't work anymore, so let's go with Chris Evans.
• 1:02:29
  Speaker 2: Chris Evans, I thought you were going to say Sedecas, no, not.
• 1:02:33
  Speaker 3: Sedecas, I'm not that funny.
• 1:02:35
  Speaker 3: Okay, the deal is a service to him.
• 1:02:40
  Speaker 2: Well, hey, he could.
• 1:02:41
  Speaker 2: Maybe he's going to show a new side of him.
• 1:02:42
  Speaker 2: He could be a you know show his theatrical.
• 1:02:45
  Speaker 2: There you go, okay, last question Tell me two words that describe your wife Loving and kind.
• 1:02:52
  Speaker 2: Loving and kind.
• 1:02:53
  Speaker 2: You've made it through the episode.
• 1:02:55
  Speaker 2: I mean sorry you made the episode.
• 1:02:56
  Speaker 2: I made it through the lighting around.
• 1:02:56
  Speaker 2: I think I giggled.
• 1:02:57
  Speaker 2: You got a teeny giggle.
• 1:02:58
  Speaker 2: I might have forced it out of you, but it's been a fantastic opportunity learning about you.
• 1:03:03
  Speaker 2: It's no surprise why you've been in a company for 15 years and in leadership role I've.
• 1:03:10
  Speaker 2: In the time we spent, I've felt inspired, I felt more curious.
• 1:03:13
  Speaker 2: I can't wait to start listening to people, business podcasts and learn more about some of the people you interviewed.
• 1:03:18
  Speaker 2: I can't wait to check out the book about the Medici family.
• 1:03:21
  Speaker 2: To say it right, yep, medici family.
• 1:03:23
  Speaker 2: I'm interested in that.
• 1:03:24
  Speaker 2: I love learning, I love reading.
• 1:03:26
  Speaker 2: So this is like right in my wheelhouse of fun.
• 1:03:28
  Speaker 2: I want to thank Ketch.
• 1:03:31
  Speaker 2: I want to sorry, I want to thank Latitude Sikka for all your support on this podcast.
• 1:03:35
  Speaker 2: If you're looking for you're been to Alaska or you remember, or you want to go again check them out they have this island where you can go fishing and yoga and retreats and whales and it's just like the cool spot.
• 1:03:47
  Speaker 2: I went up there in June with a bunch of buddies and was completely blown away.
• 1:03:51
  Speaker 2: Like I think I saw a hundred eagles, like a, literally a hundred.
• 1:03:55
  Speaker 2: It was like looking at you know a crow here.
• 1:03:58
  Speaker 1: And finally the guys like dude they're.
• 1:04:00
  Speaker 2: I'm like oh wow, another eagle.
• 1:04:01
  Speaker 2: He's like I know, they're everywhere, Stop saying it.
• 1:04:03
  Speaker 2: I couldn't, I couldn't stop saying it, You're giving yourself away as a newbie.
• 1:04:08
  Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly it was.
• 1:04:09
  Speaker 2: It was that obvious.
• 1:04:10
  Speaker 2: But I want to say thank you again for for spending time with us.
• 1:04:13
  Speaker 2: It's been a blast getting to, to know you a little bit and I'm sure hopefully, our past will continue to process again.
• 1:04:18
  Speaker 2: Thanks, so much.
• 1:04:19
  Speaker 3: Yeah, Well, I I'm reading your book now and I look forward to having you on my show as well.
• 1:04:23
  Speaker 3: Thanks for the time you bet, man.