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How to Transform Your Youth Ministry Culture After It's Gotten Away From You · Ministry Coach: Youth Ministry Tips & Resources

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: What happens when your youth ministry culture shifts over time and how can you get it back.
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: That's what we're talking about today on the Ministry Coach Podcast.
• 0:20
  Speaker 2: Welcome to the Ministry Coach Podcast.
• 0:22
  Speaker 2: If this is the first time we're meeting, my name is Jeff Laskola, and this wonderful ball of energy over here is Okay, kristen Laskola threw me off there.
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: Jeff, that was a new intro, wow.
• 0:35
  Speaker 2: I like to change things up every now and then.
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that was genius.
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: And today we're talking about how to transform your youth ministry culture.
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: I think we've only done one episode on culture and that was an interview with Jeff Moores, like right when this podcast was getting off the ground.
• 0:52
  Speaker 2: Excellent, excellent episode, excellent interview.
• 0:55
  Speaker 2: Make sure you guys check that out.
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: Yes, and I think it's about time, you know, to go back and revisit this idea of culture.
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: And what do we mean by culture?
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: Like, do you know?
• 1:07
  Speaker 1: Like sometimes there's Webster's dictionary.
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: No big mistake Never, ever, use Webster's or Miriam Webster's dictionary in a talk.
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: Your listener will turn off right away.
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: That was a unexpected tip for you.
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: I remember learning that in my communications class in college.
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: They were like start a speech with like the dictionary defines Anyways, like culture is sort of an intangible.
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: It can be so I feel like the topic of it used to kind of confuse me and elude me, because I'm like what do they mean by culture?
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: Because I grew up like a culture is like people who live in another country and this is what they wear and eat and the music they listen to, and I kind of just was like what does that mean in terms of an organization?
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: And it's sort of that idea of like you don't even know you're in a culture, but you are organizationally.
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: So every church has these intangibles of what make them them.
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: And you've experienced it, like when you walk into a certain place and you're like I don't think I'll ever come back here, and was anyone mean to you was like or the opposite.
• 2:23
  Speaker 2: These feel like my people and I feel right at home.
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: Right, and it's like you can't always put your finger on it, but you just know when it's a fit you know, when it's good, you know, when it's healthy.
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: And so we're going to try to dissect some of that today, of like, well, what are the makings of a culture?
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: How can we make our youth ministry culture different, if it needs to be, and what should it be built on in the first place?
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: And so hopefully today will be super useful, especially as we're going into the new year and you maybe have some goals for your youth ministry and you want to see some things change and get better.
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: Today we'll definitely be able to help you with that.
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: So, number one, you've got to ask yourself what aspects of my culture need transforming.
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: What is it that's broken?
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: And I think that's sometimes the hardest thing to identify.
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: It could be something, for example, like nobody respects the leaders.
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: Hmm, that's a problem, that's a cultural thing.
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: They just students look at the leaders, like who are you?
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: Like don't talk to me, kind of thing.
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: So what is that Like?
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: How did we get here?
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: Why is this broken?
• 3:32
  Speaker 1: Another cultural thing could be students never bring their Bibles.
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: Why don't our kids bring their Bibles?
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: Do they just don't think it's necessary?
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: Do they bring their phones instead?
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: Does that matter?
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: How do we feel about all that?
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: Not that it matters that they don't bring their Bible.
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: But sometimes people are like, well, it's on your phone, so that counts.
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: Or sometimes pastors are like, no, you need to make an intentional move towards God's word.
• 3:59
  Speaker 1: Not just like well, it's my phone and it has everything, including the Bible.
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: I didn't have to think much about that.
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: So you start to look at these areas where you're like I don't like this, and that is a cultural thing.
• 4:11
  Speaker 1: It's like this is just how it is and I don't like it.
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: So what needs to change?
• 4:16
  Speaker 1: And then you kind of look at yourself because you, as the youth pastor, the youth leader, whatever it starts with you, you have to be the change.
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: That's like some famous quote Be the change you want to see in the world.
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: Maya Angelou, I feel like everything is Maya Angelou.
• 4:37
  Speaker 2: I think if you put her name after any quote, they'll believe you.
• 4:40
  Speaker 2: They'll believe you.
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know.
• 4:42
  Speaker 2: Well, maya Angelou, I'm giving you, giving you credit for I once quoted her as saying the steamed broccoli gave me diarrhea and no one questioned me.
• 4:50
  Speaker 2: I bet you she said that at some point or thought it.
• 4:54
  Speaker 2: Everybody has said that at some point, so it's kind of a general statement.
• 4:58
  Speaker 2: We know my uh, everybody has had that experience.
• 5:01
  Speaker 2: You're not unique, okay.
• 5:03
  Speaker 1: Yeah, like you have to be the start of it.
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: So it's kind of that thing of like the leader cannot ask the team, the youth group, the church to do something that they are not willing to do themselves.
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: For example, if you value your leaders sitting with the students during program, well, when you're not on stage, where are you?
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: I try to make it a point to make sure I'm always sitting with students on the ground, like where they are, and I kind of hop around to different groups of students.
• 5:38
  Speaker 1: If it's a value for leaders to participate in worship with students and sing and be present and help, then you should be there during worship.
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: If it's a value for leaders to be organized and be on time, then start things on time.
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: And so you're saying all these things without saying them, and the number one agent of change is not only you, but the observable behavior that comes from you.
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: What people observe you doing and your key leaders doing will translate huge into change, behavior and culture.
• 6:15
  Speaker 1: None of it happens by accident.
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: It's not just like well, I hope they know good enough.
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: Like you know, like you just want to assume.
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: Well, that's obvious, People should know you go and sit with your students during worship.
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: But if it's not modeled, if it's not stated, I think stating it is secondary to modeling it.
• 6:36
  Speaker 1: I think it's not like you can never say what you, what your expectations are, what you want, but modeling it speaks so much louder.
• 6:46
  Speaker 1: What your expectations are, what you want, but modeling it speaks so much louder and then it's just like I guess this is what we do, like we sit with students, and so not only yourself, but you want to train your key leaders on this stuff.
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: So, whatever you want your culture to be, look to your key leaders and bring them into the conversation and say hey, here's some things I noticed that I'd like to change.
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: Why don't kids bring their Bible?
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: Here's what I want us to do.
• 7:09
  Speaker 1: I want us to always ask students where's your Bible?
• 7:11
  Speaker 1: Okay, make sure you bring it.
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: Next week.
• 7:13
  Speaker 1: You can borrow one this week.
• 7:14
  Speaker 1: We have one available for you, but so much better when it's your very own.
• 7:18
  Speaker 1: Bible that you can bring home.
• 7:19
  Speaker 2: And write in and make notes in.
• 7:21
  Speaker 1: And have leaders, your key leaders, are on board with whatever.
• 7:25
  Speaker 1: Hey, we're always going to sit next to kids during worship, like spread out, always be with them.
• 7:30
  Speaker 1: So then the younger leaders or newer leaders or less experienced ones they see what's going on and they're like oh, this is what we do.
• 7:37
  Speaker 1: You want it just to be like from day one.
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: Oh, every leader sat with the kids.
• 7:43
  Speaker 2: No one had to tell me that, I just could see that that's how things are done here, and then you get on board there was a I can't remember what show it was, but it was kind of like a social experiment, where it was people in a waiting room and they were all in on it except for one person, and he came in and sat down and there was like a bell or something that would go off and everybody would stand up, shift a seat over or something like that, and then sit back down.
• 8:08
  Speaker 2: And this guy the first time he saw he just watched it had, you know no clue what was going on.
• 8:13
  Speaker 2: And then they did it again, and I think it was by the third time he joined in but what was crazy was that somebody else came in who was also in on it.
• 8:23
  Speaker 2: But someone else came and sat next to him and when the bell went off, everybody stood up.
• 8:27
  Speaker 2: He stood up and they shifted over.
• 8:29
  Speaker 2: And this person said, hey, why are we doing this?
• 8:30
  Speaker 2: And he just kind of said well, every time this bell goes off we stand up and shift over.
• 8:34
  Speaker 2: Had no, no clue as to why this is what we do, but all that to say if you're seeing something you kind of catch, hopefully there's a reason for why you're doing it, but you kind of catch.
• 8:43
  Speaker 2: Hopefully there's a reason for why you're doing it, but you kind of catch just by watching it.
• 8:47
  Speaker 2: You can start like okay, this is what we do.
• 8:49
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and I mean, it's just human nature, like, and obviously you could channel that towards very bad things.
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: But that's why these are intangibles, cause you're like, I don't really know how, I knew how to do that, I just did.
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: I've observed it, I've lived it, I mimicked it, I don't know.
• 9:06
  Speaker 1: And so, like you and your key leaders, if they're doing the things that are valuable to the culture, then and you could even include your key students into that as well, like your student leadership team like hey, every time a new person comes, we make sure we greet them immediately and we don't let them fend for themselves.
• 9:28
  Speaker 1: You always invite them to sit with you and if they're in on like this is how things are done here, we value being inclusive Then other kids take notice and they realize, oh, this is a safe place, these are kind people like I could bring a friend here.
• 9:45
  Speaker 1: So you're just building culture by these things.
• 9:48
  Speaker 1: So culture is built off of what you create and what you allow.
• 9:54
  Speaker 2: That's what Craig?
• 9:55
  Speaker 1: Groeschel says on his leadership podcast he talks a ton about culture and it's this mix of okay, so we've created it, here's what we're going to do, but then you have to think of the other side of the coin, of what am I allowing?
• 10:07
  Speaker 1: So meaning, if leaders are allowed to show up late without or not show up at all, I think that one's even more.
• 10:17
  Speaker 2: No reason or excuse for why they're not there.
• 10:19
  Speaker 1: Yeah, they just are a no show, never text, never call.
• 10:23
  Speaker 1: And then they're small groups like where's my leader?
• 10:25
  Speaker 1: And you're like I don't know, they should have been here, but they're not.
• 10:28
  Speaker 1: What happens after that?
• 10:29
  Speaker 1: Does life just go on as normal?
• 10:32
  Speaker 1: And here's the tricky thing of ministry is you're not like a manager of a subway or something like to, where it's very obvious like you didn't show up for work, you don't a shift next week.
• 10:44
  Speaker 1: I don't know.
• 10:44
  Speaker 1: I've never been a manager of subway, that's what I might do, but I was an assistant manager at wetzel's pretzels salute.
• 10:52
  Speaker 2: so kind of a big assistant to the regional manager.
• 10:56
  Speaker 1: Manager of wetzel's pretzels yes to the franchise owner, but hey, I was, I was manager and there's just certain protocols when you work in those environments.
• 11:06
  Speaker 1: But ministry is different because it's so highly relational and so like navigating these difficult situations and trying to preserve and restore, if possible, relationship, because you don't want to be like well, you were late, like you know, you're fired or whatever.
• 11:23
  Speaker 1: It's like OK, I need to call you on this, I need to remind you that our value is showing up without ruining this relationship, because I want you to continue to come here.
• 11:35
  Speaker 1: So how we handle that is actually super important, because we never want someone to feel like unloved, but we at the same time want someone to feel like unloved, but we at the same time aren't just like well, oh well like, because now your culture is getting away from you.
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: So what you allow and what you create together create the culture.
• 11:55
  Speaker 1: And so Craig Groeschel argues you know, your entire culture is built off of what you value.
• 12:03
  Speaker 1: So not what you say you value, but what you actually do value.
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: That's where culture is born.
• 12:11
  Speaker 1: What do you value?
• 12:13
  Speaker 1: And you can't value everything.
• 12:15
  Speaker 1: We've talked a lot on this podcast like highlighting everything.
• 12:19
  Speaker 1: You highlight nothing.
• 12:19
  Speaker 1: If everything's important, nothing's important.
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: So what you would need to do is pick like 10 things that this ministry greatly values and then let that be the basis for how it's reflected in your culture.
• 12:34
  Speaker 1: So let's say, you value being present and participation, like you think and that's something I value in my ministry is showing up and full engagement.
• 12:47
  Speaker 1: I don't like when people just kind of hang back.
• 12:50
  Speaker 1: And when I say people, I'm talking specifically now about leaders, because they're the, they're going to shape the culture, so be there and be present or engaged.
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: So if that's a value, how are we fostering that?
• 13:05
  Speaker 1: Well, a top leaders are modeling that that we are there as often as possible, save for being sick or on vacation once in a while, and then we are fully participating in everything.
• 13:18
  Speaker 1: If there's worship, we are singing and doing the hand motions.
• 13:21
  Speaker 1: If there is someone teaching, we're sitting and we're listening.
• 13:25
  Speaker 1: If there's a game, if we're not playing the game, we're helping facilitate the game or organize part of it or clean up after it or go chase a ball or something it's.
• 13:38
  Speaker 1: We're modeling full engagement in that nobody is a wallflower here, but everybody should be fully engaged, because that's when ministry is the richest for you and for everybody else, not when you're like I've had leaders in the past that just kind of sit and wait for it to be small group time.
• 13:55
  Speaker 1: And those leaders always kind of stay on the fringe.
• 13:59
  Speaker 1: You know, it's just like they're waiting for that 30, 40 minutes a small group but they're not really involved in anything else.
• 14:05
  Speaker 1: So we value you've got to be a part of things.
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: So we model it and then we give so many opportunities for for leaders to be involved.
• 14:15
  Speaker 1: Like, all right, I need a leader to like line up right here by Austin Okay, Austin, can you feed the kids in number them one through 10, and then we're going to get started.
• 14:23
  Speaker 1: So, Austin, Okay, Austin, can you feed the kids in Number them one through 10?
• 14:25
  Speaker 1: And then we're gonna get started.
• 14:26
  Speaker 1: So, as the leader, if participation is a big deal to you, well then what would you do?
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: You would constantly give away roles to small group leaders so that they can participate.
• 14:37
  Speaker 1: You can't always just assume people are going to jump in.
• 14:42
  Speaker 1: There will be those, and then there's the other ones who need like hey, you're in charge of keeping score for this team.
• 14:48
  Speaker 1: I'm going to be checking in with you every three rounds or something to get an update so you can assign these roles too.
• 14:55
  Speaker 1: But it's the idea hey, all hands on deck.
• 14:57
  Speaker 1: This isn't the Kristen show Like this is going to take all of us to make this happen.
• 15:02
  Speaker 1: And you model that week after week after week.
• 15:05
  Speaker 1: So the question becomes for your youth ministry is what do you value?
• 15:11
  Speaker 1: What do you say you value?
• 15:14
  Speaker 1: And then what is reflected in your youth ministry?
• 15:17
  Speaker 1: If you say you value evangelism, you know, oh yeah, we want people to come to know Jesus, but all you ever do is use insider language.
• 15:27
  Speaker 1: Nobody ever knows what you're talking about.
• 15:29
  Speaker 1: You would have to be like on the inside to know when you're meeting and where you're meeting.
• 15:36
  Speaker 1: And you or your lessons are inaccessible for a new believer.
• 15:43
  Speaker 1: There's no opportunity like stuff, like where you're like well, you're not making it easy for a new person to come here.
• 15:50
  Speaker 1: So if evangelism is a value, how are we making it easy for new people to come and hear and participate?
• 15:58
  Speaker 1: They have a clear expectation of what's next.
• 16:01
  Speaker 1: They know how to get into a small group.
• 16:03
  Speaker 1: You know all of those things.
• 16:04
  Speaker 1: So every church is going to value things slightly differently and put a different emphasis on you know, fill in the sort of up to you to help steer that culture.
• 16:26
  Speaker 1: So a next step for you could be to decide and observe, like okay, what areas is our culture kind of off?
• 16:35
  Speaker 1: What do I see that I don't like?
• 16:37
  Speaker 1: What direction are we heading that I don't want to go?
• 16:40
  Speaker 1: Then, instead of creating a bunch of policies to fix that, like, well, you have to be here at exactly six o'clock or you need to fill out a late slip, and if you get four late slips, then that means you get a timeout.
• 16:55
  Speaker 2: Like.
• 16:55
  Speaker 1: I don't know, like if you had some weird policy in place like that'll fix it, and that policies never actually fix much and the more policies you have, it's kind of like it's confusing, but it's also creates this like weird sense of distrust.
• 17:13
  Speaker 1: You know what I mean.
• 17:14
  Speaker 1: It's like have you ever been into a store where they're like no returns and if you don't have a receipt, like like there's there's just so many here, like, or there's like glass in front of the cash register?
• 17:24
  Speaker 1: It's just this ick feeling where you're like leave your backpack here, like, like.
• 17:30
  Speaker 1: I just feel like I'm shopping in prison or something and I'm like I don't think I get a manager over here so I can buy some socks.
• 17:37
  Speaker 2: They're locked up.
• 17:38
  Speaker 1: That's what I mean.
• 17:39
  Speaker 1: Yeah, when they lock up all the stuff and you have to like push a button, it's just the worst shopping experience.
• 17:45
  Speaker 1: I think the more policies we put in place, it's kind of like we're sending an odd message of like we don't fully trust you, you guys need to be under some restrictions and lock and key, whereas if we put the right people in place and our core team is on board with, hey, this is how we do things and we're going to keep doing them this way, keep doing them this way, keep doing them this way and show people this is what we value, it's going to be dripped in through our behavior, through our messages, through what we do, through what we emphasize, through what we celebrate, and culture gets transmitted through all of those things through people, through platform, through celebration, through events.
• 18:37
  Speaker 1: It's dripped in through messages like all of the things that how we can, all these avenues of communication that we don't even realize we're communicating our culture but we really are getting those key people on board first and then just living it out is such a better way than putting these policies in place.
• 18:58
  Speaker 1: And then what I've heard it said by one of our executive pastors what you celebrate gets repeated.
• 19:06
  Speaker 1: So, for example, if, if connecting with students outside of youth group is a value of yours, then when you see a leader who goes to a football game or a band performance or something like that, getting that picture, posting it on social media, tagging them like, wow, like so cool, caleb went to the football game Friday night, you know, and bringing it up in a meeting like, oh, that was so cool, like Caleb.
• 19:35
  Speaker 1: Who'd you see?
• 19:35
  Speaker 1: And you know, did you have any cool conversations that night?
• 19:38
  Speaker 1: Or, you know, did the were the kids so excited to see you?
• 19:41
  Speaker 1: Like asking, about that stuff.
• 19:43
  Speaker 1: If it is a value to your group and you wanna see that behavior repeated, celebrate it, acknowledge it, platform it, and when your leaders are on board with that the key leaders then it kind of trickles out to the rest of the team.
• 19:57
  Speaker 1: And student leadership, like we were talking about too, is a great place to breed that.
• 20:02
  Speaker 1: Like I said, one of my big values for my student leadership team is inclusion.
• 20:06
  Speaker 1: So if I see them doing something awesome, we bring it up at the next meeting like hey, there was this brand new girl and I'm so proud of Stephanie.
• 20:14
  Speaker 1: She like never left her side she like made sure this girl was with her the entire time and let her be on their team, and they sat together during worship.
• 20:24
  Speaker 1: I even saw them together at pickup, like she ran the distance with this girl like way to go.
• 20:30
  Speaker 1: And so then other students are like, oh, that is, that's what's a value here, and that kind of behavior will eventually get repeated.
• 20:38
  Speaker 1: So it's just a mix of like really identifying what your values are.
• 20:44
  Speaker 1: Are we living those out and who are the people that are helping me perpetuate this culture?
• 20:50
  Speaker 1: And then those things that are like super unhealthy that have gotten and run away from you.
• 20:56
  Speaker 1: I would say make sure you do everything you can to stop that stuff immediately.
• 21:02
  Speaker 2: Yeah, would you say, like prioritize, like biggest problem to smallest problem and tackle that Absolutely.
• 21:08
  Speaker 1: Because those unhealthy things like start to take on a life of their own.
• 21:14
  Speaker 1: Like, for example, an unhealthy cultural pattern would be during worship, kids leave the auditorium and they like hang out in the hallway or mess around in the bathroom or whatever.
• 21:26
  Speaker 1: That was happening a couple years ago we had an eighth grade class that was like, yeah, I want to play the games and do all the stuff.
• 21:34
  Speaker 1: Oh, message worship.
• 21:35
  Speaker 1: Like let's go out in the hallway.
• 21:36
  Speaker 1: And I'd be like no, no, no, no.
• 21:38
  Speaker 1: So we had to just station leaders at the back doors of the auditorium and if a group of kids came up, it was like no, you guys need to wait.
• 21:48
  Speaker 1: Well, if one kid comes up and it's like, hey, can I go to the bathroom?
• 21:51
  Speaker 1: Of course you can, you know.
• 21:52
  Speaker 1: But then we have more leaders in the hallway and in front of the bathrooms making sure everyone's just going in and coming out, and that's that.
• 22:01
  Speaker 2: Making sure they wash their hands, yeah.
• 22:03
  Speaker 1: And they go back into the auditorium because we didn't want to create this culture of like ah, you can hang here or hang there, whatever, and sometimes I'd have to actually pull students aside and say, hey, you know, one of our values here is when you're here you're doing what we're doing.
• 22:18
  Speaker 1: I said you can't come here and just kind of create your own schedule of like well, I don't feel like doing this and I'd rather be over here.
• 22:24
  Speaker 1: I said wherever we are is where you need to be, and I'm not saying you have to play the game.
• 22:29
  Speaker 1: If you don't want to, if you don't want to sing worship, I can't make you, but you need to be there.
• 22:36
  Speaker 1: But the level of participation is up to you, but you have to be present where we are.
• 22:40
  Speaker 2: Yeah, Just being respectful of what you're doing.
• 22:42
  Speaker 2: So if you can identify in your audit of your youth ministry, let's say five things, so you're like these are some key points of unhealth or that you know we need to change, how many do you think?
• 22:53
  Speaker 2: Or let's say you have 10, how many do you think you should tackle at a time, or do you just tackle all 10?
• 22:59
  Speaker 1: I guess it just depends how complicated it is because students leaving the auditorium, that took me five minutes to solve.
• 23:05
  Speaker 1: Station leaders at the door, station leaders in the hallway.
• 23:09
  Speaker 1: And I think we need to even tighten that up again because we got lax, because the kids were good and we didn't need to like hold down the fort as much as we did with the old class, but then some of those are starting to creep back in.
• 23:23
  Speaker 1: So I think some things are an easy fix, like two seconds station leaders, but then some things get a little more like deep seated.
• 23:32
  Speaker 1: Like disrespect is very hard to turn around.
• 23:36
  Speaker 1: You can't just make a blanket statement hey guys, don't be disrespectful.
• 23:39
  Speaker 1: You know, like that doesn't shut up, lady Right, exactly, it doesn't really work.
• 23:45
  Speaker 1: You have to go much more on an individual basis there and find these students like find the ones who you think can help turn the culture around of like hey, like I need you and your small group to model like this is what it means to listen and participate the right way and don't talk when you're not supposed to.
• 24:07
  Speaker 1: You can rely on your student leadership kids for that, but then, with the kids who are just blatantly disrespectful I mean, that's going to take lots of conversations of like.
• 24:16
  Speaker 1: You know, my conversation like usually looks something like hey, I love having you here, I'm glad you're here.
• 24:22
  Speaker 1: My leaders, though, are a really big priority to me, and I can't have you talking to them like that, so I'm going to let you try again, but if we can't come to an agreement on how leaders should be treated here.
• 24:36
  Speaker 1: If you don't agree with your behavior on how leaders should be treated here.
• 24:39
  Speaker 1: If you don't agree with your behavior on how leaders should be treated here, we might have to come up with another solution, whether that's taking a break or calling your parents, or something like that, because I'm not going to allow my leaders to be disrespected.
• 24:50
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 24:50
  Speaker 1: You know, and it's a nice conversation, but I'm very firm with them, but that takes a long time because if there's 20 super disrespectful kids having those conversations, having that follow-up, having that conversation, it takes time.
• 25:03
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's important it does.
• 25:04
  Speaker 2: Sometimes some of those cultural shifts will take time, like putting leaders at the doors to prevent kids from just leaving.
• 25:11
  Speaker 2: Like you said, five-minute, two-second fix really.
• 25:14
  Speaker 2: But maybe changing that culture of disrespect may take a little bit longer to get that.
• 25:19
  Speaker 1: Or worship really, but maybe changing that culture of disrespect may take a little bit longer.
• 25:21
  Speaker 1: To yeah, or worship, like there's students, like we have a killer worship team, but we have so many new students right now, they don't really get it.
• 25:26
  Speaker 1: Like what?
• 25:27
  Speaker 1: Why are we singing?
• 25:28
  Speaker 1: So changing that culture for them to help them understand?
• 25:32
  Speaker 1: like I'll you know, we need to be patient with their level of spiritual growth it's like okay, you're just not quite there yet, but I'm not going to allow you to ruin this for other people.
• 25:43
  Speaker 1: So I'll just say, hey, you don't have to sing, but could you not be a distraction during this time, like there's students around here trying to worship, but maybe just read the words and see if God says anything to you through them.
• 25:56
  Speaker 1: If you don't feel like singing, yeah.
• 25:58
  Speaker 2: So maybe take the last part of this year to kind of identify some of those key points that you think might be unhealthy or things that need to change and shift in your culture, and tackle those first.
• 26:07
  Speaker 2: If you're listening to this and any other time of the year, then maybe just set a kind of like a deadline for how long you're going to give to go over those things, think about those things and then start to implement those things, but obviously sooner the better.
• 26:20
  Speaker 1: And if you are having trouble identifying them, ask your team.
• 26:24
  Speaker 1: Just say is there any place where you feel like we are headed toward unhealth, or are we in the midst of unhealth from where you sit?
• 26:34
  Speaker 1: Do you see an area where you're like man, like this youth group would be so much better if, if, if we could change people's attitude here or their behavior here or here's a pattern.
• 26:46
  Speaker 1: I notice and get their opinions too, because they are like in the trenches there with the students and they probably see things that you might not.
• 26:56
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it could be a blind spot for you, but where your leaders are sitting from, they might have a much better perspective of that.
• 27:01
  Speaker 2: Make sure you guys check out the interview we did long, long time ago with Pastor Jeff Moores, rhythm Church in Oceanside.
• 27:08
  Speaker 2: It was a really good episode and actually I remember saying in that episode we need to have Jeff back and it's been four years.
• 27:13
  Speaker 2: It's probably time to have Jeff back Different.
• 27:16
  Speaker 2: Jeff, okay, we're gonna do a question of the day and a community comment of the day.
• 27:20
  Speaker 2: It's the question of the day and, I'll be honest, we've been doing this podcast, like I said, for about four years now.
• 27:26
  Speaker 2: Many episodes, many questions.
• 27:28
  Speaker 2: Sometimes I forget if we've done questions or not, and so that's why we'll say like I wonder if my answer is gonna be the same.
• 27:33
  Speaker 2: I can't remember if we did this one or not, but we'll go for it.
• 27:36
  Speaker 2: What is a movie that unexpectedly makes you cry?
• 27:42
  Speaker 1: My answer is more of a show.
• 27:45
  Speaker 2: Oh, okay.
• 27:45
  Speaker 1: It was the dolphin show at SeaWorld, so we went to SeaWorld.
• 27:53
  Speaker 2: Because of those poor endangered species being captivated.
• 27:56
  Speaker 1: No, because they were so majestic and beautiful and talented.
• 28:00
  Speaker 1: And the music and just watching them jump and flip and just they.
• 28:07
  Speaker 2: I was so amazed.
• 28:08
  Speaker 2: How do you guys and we think, like we have two dogs, that we can't get to go to the bathroom outside for years and these people have dolphins that are doing backflips?
• 28:20
  Speaker 2: Synchronized, synchronized how do you do that and they were like just they, their abilities come teach my dog to poop on the grass.
• 28:30
  Speaker 1: I was very choked up during this.
• 28:33
  Speaker 1: I could have sat there all day.
• 28:34
  Speaker 1: There was like a show every two hours all day.
• 28:37
  Speaker 1: I'm like I just if it hadn't been so hot on those darn bleachers, I probably would have heat was evaporating your tears I would have watched every single show that day.
• 28:48
  Speaker 1: It was mesmerizing.
• 28:49
  Speaker 2: Well, mine's gonna be a lot less interesting then.
• 28:52
  Speaker 2: I love the movie hoosiers.
• 28:55
  Speaker 2: Shout out to those, you, you who are living in Indiana or from Indiana it's a basketball movie.
• 29:00
  Speaker 2: I believe it was set in the forties.
• 29:03
  Speaker 2: It's yeah, I get choked up.
• 29:05
  Speaker 2: Or even the theme music to.
• 29:07
  Speaker 2: It just gets me all emotional I don't know what to do.
• 29:09
  Speaker 1: Didn't do it for me.
• 29:11
  Speaker 2: I'll tell you that Boring Put it in the comment section below If there's an unexpected movie that makes you cry or tear up, or animal featured at some theme park Ocean animal show.
• 29:25
  Speaker 2: It was really cool, I'll admit, and it was really hot that day.
• 29:29
  Speaker 2: All right, the community comment of the day.
• 29:30
  Speaker 2: This comes from Kendra Harnden, who says and this is in response to what she loves about this podcast and she says it's tangible.
• 29:38
  Speaker 2: I'm just starting out, so I've been devouring your content for several months now and always come away with something I can put into play.
• 29:45
  Speaker 1: Wow.
• 29:46
  Speaker 2: Thank you, Kendra.
• 29:47
  Speaker 1: I really appreciate that.
• 29:48
  Speaker 1: I notice a lot of people say that and I'm like yes.
• 29:52
  Speaker 2: Yep and Kendra is actually is part of our youth ministry growth accelerator program.
• 29:57
  Speaker 2: So extra thank you.
• 29:58
  Speaker 2: We appreciate you being in there and we hope you guys, if you're looking to grow the size and health of your youth ministry, check out growyouryouthministrycom.
• 30:07
  Speaker 2: It is a program we have that has coaching and a course that will help you grow the size and health of your youth ministry.
• 30:13
  Speaker 2: So make sure you check that out again.
• 30:14
  Speaker 2: It's growyouryouthministrycom.
• 30:16
  Speaker 2: All right, thank you guys.
• 30:17
  Speaker 2: So much for watching and listening and we'll see you next time.
• 30:20
  Speaker 2: Welcome to what.
• 30:32
  Speaker 2: I don't know why you can't do it.
• 30:33
  Speaker 2: I'm going to do it because you can't.
• 30:39
  Speaker 1: Kobe Doink.