Latest / Rotgrind - Narrative Declaration / A Pair of Perytons
Transcript
- mom mom you were not thinking of the mills have i ever begun to scarcely tell you how much i hate deer brings new definition to the term ghost riding the whip what are these birds doing do you have any pity points i'm kind of homeless right now i need you guys to lock in and kill these things all this time we're 20 minutes late you don't even have to be open oh no it's open it needs to be lodged it's almost like it's almost like you don't want to kill zorin's dummy thick mom it's almost like you don't want to kill zorin's dummy thick mom everybody i got a goal no that's the intro now i don't care it's not set up right for the sake of everyone edit that out no keep it in keep it in help us he needs to suffer also oh wow welcome everyone yeah to another exciting episode of rock grime yay yay yay yay you can watch mills live in action uh here in our wonderful show of course if you really like our show and some of that and want to uh help fund a mills calendar you can go to patreon.com or slash narrative declaration because without those people we don't exist so without your support we do not uh we we go into the ether and disappear forever so thank you very much everybody for those of you who contribute and support our shenanigans uh but of course also um baldrick as an arundel will not be here today uh last thing hokey told me or informed me his transformer blew up first thing so his house is just not working so there's no electricity or anything utility people are getting that figured out so he would not be joining us today um so in which to represent him uh on our thing i need to find a constantly exploding gif if people want to help me find a funny exploding gift that i'm just going to put over baldrick uh what about like an actual transformer oh yeah like is there like can i find a transformer gif of like one of them dying dying yes oh i have one but there's one i think this is star screamer's just falling down dead that's beautiful good not really like dead but you get it here i'll see if this is approval to you guys for first uh i put it in general sure sure is that word very important that we approve this let me beautiful art perfect i got you don't worry yeah if you got something excellent yeah i'm very apt for exploding yeah yeah but also true all right i'm downloading it i'm downloading it oh it's a okay mp4 whatever we'll make it work okay here's this i have to go on properties i have to make it loop okay this is aaron dill now this is him he's now he's transformer has died so this is what's happening there we go perfect excellent there we go i like your head is still partly like this yeah he's still here in spirit yeah do that someone else you can see someone else there you go there you go that's him now if you all if you too want to see what's happening right now for podcast listeners you can go to our streams and see where they are narrative declaration.com see the transformer is dying on the screen but of course you miss out on all of our visual bits and our pre-show warhammer podcast names are still trending we haven't thought of one yet yeah we will come up with a better name for it but yeah maybe someday if we get 500 more paid members on patreon we'll start a warhammer podcast thurston said so you can help us get there yeah only you tell your friends all 500 of them only doesn't have to be a warhammer podcast yes oh it's like i propose that we talk all about all tabletop rpgs and war games and you know with a slight bias to warhammer but thurston wants to talk about warhammer that's right i want to talk a lot about warhammer i think it should just be us aimlessly talking and then it'll get taken down of spotify in two weeks okay okay okay whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa when i say i want to do a podcast that's about warhammer let's be very fucking clear i don't expect us to talk about warhammer for 95 percent of that show but warhammer is the guiding light in which we pretend what our show is about all right so here's the simulation here's the simulation okay oh christ okay hi everybody welcome to the zoran the wizard warhammer podcast guest starring thurston speaker d and their inferior friends i am speaker d warhammer okay so once i had a dream where everyone was a rhombus you know yep that's it let's rip on rhombus that was a good one that was a good one that was a good one that was a good one last two hours we could do two hours off of that yes call us a warhammer podcast but we never talk about warhammer i would love that i would love that fuck we should do that yeah we should a warhammer podcast one sec one sec one sec is there just a podcast called a warhammer podcast uh let's look it up a war there's a lot of there's a lot of colon a warhammer podcast with a preceding name i don't think anyone's just called a warhammer podcast no that's the thing we got a russian roulette it we have to have random episodes that are just about something completely unrelated to warhammer and we will never give you advanced warning on what they are about if you want to hear about warhammer you just have to you have to get lucky i really love the idea too that this that this podcast is like you know a warhammer podcast episode one new charge phase rules in like 11th edition and we never talk about that we just go completely like so uh i ordered some pizza hut today and man like it's just not sitting well guys like that's the future that's the yeah but every two hours from their warhammer podcast but anytime anyone brings up anything near warhammer we have to like someone has to panically divert the conversation every time somebody brings up warhammer we cut to an ad break oh jamie was telling me jamie's like i'm so mad because they've been listening to like um chaos odyssey on their drives to and from the farm they're like okay so i'm having a real fucking problem like i'm having a real fucking problem like i'm having a real fucking problem like i'm having a real fucking problem like i'm having a real fucking problem like i'm having a real fucking problem with the ad breaks now because like you'll you'll get really into it and it'll be like all right by zanti's going to whisper into you know cephas's ear have you having problems with mesothelioma and like every time he's like these fucking ads are just at the worst best timing now you may be entitled to financial compensation but let's talk about diabetes becoming the chosen of the four chaos gods you can bet on anything on calci oh god sorry the calci bet on which god you're getting gonna fall to i hate three carillion crowns gork and mork oh aren't we supposed to be playing rock right yeah i was gonna say we're supposed to be playing rock right there's probably some podcast holy fuck everybody everybody we've reached a new low it's odo keeping us on track i think that is the first i think that is legitimately a first i think it's owed over it's it's all over okay it's all over it's everywhere oh yeah rock взять we got to play pathfinder today which is all about warhammer and some super weird pork because there's orcs and stuff anyway and if it's related to warhammer it's like that means add illusion if you too want to listen to our warhammer podcast you too can go to narrative declaration dot shop for narrative declaration merch where you too can get picked up a lovely t-shirt and various other posters and amazing art and things and of course if a bunch of you buy a bunch of stuff and help us is on patreon we're gonna get you tugboat plushes i think maybe all depends how the world goes smiles try to make conversations happen uh regardless though everyone i think a lot of stuff happened last episode this is this is gonna be a short episode i think yeah did it did it happen i think a lot of stuff happened we the adventuring group if i remember right forgive me if i lost any details it's been a very busy week that we were trying to navigate through the forest tracking tracking as much as much as we can to try to find oran's mother along the way we were trying to dodge and weave to various tugboat traps which i think uh vena got caught in another one but i think you're okay now i think you made it this time i guess you're fine anyway yeah i fucking died again oh yeah you died um and so as they continued on to the forest dealing uh with all of the issues of trying to navigate through a dense forest and oran doing his best to lead everyone away close to his homeland nearly knowing every branch and tree out there uh they eventually came to a clearing something magical in a way of animal animals and greenery just blooming all around one long-haired figure and then when she opened her eyes rocks was pouring out of it and so thurston i think you have a story for us today you know i think i think you are right and sakira uh oh oh oh oh oh switches over as everything around begins to dim and the area takes on a far stranger and more macabre appearance uh guys i i can't see anything where's mom guys okay oran you just have to open up the window and see what's happening around here oh my god oh my god open your eyes oh orange sets the foundry settings for token vision oh my god it's it's set to token vision all right i still don't see anything and well no you're not i see something you're not even at the deck we were getting close to playing some rock right here but before that let me talk about raycons sounds like ray theon ray theon makes weapons of war war hammer cut to ad break loading spooky forest this person chat asks so we start at 9 p.m central yeah and i'm like i don't know if they're joking or not i've lost yeah man but seriously sponsors like like if you actually want to sponsor our show now is the perfect time because we're like on a sponsorment so you know you're gonna get your money if you actually sponsor sure we'll be able to shut up about you at that point it's not always easy keeping a tone for a serious rpg stream especially fighting rotten moms but thanks to mindful i can keep on track and can say outside of hi bit eukeycro with narrative declaration i've been able to bring you another wonderful new sponsored opportunity for my friends at mindful why don't you guys do ads about our stuff because we're on the show my brother my brother you hear us talking and playing the games we are the Advertiserzogers! thank you my brother,The Advertiserzogers! my brother you hear us talking and playing the games we are the Advertiserzogers! Advertisement. That's more advertising of Pizopron. It doesn't advertise to the Patreon. Getting tired of the ads? Well, let me tell you. What if there was a brand new tabletop RPG show set in the wonderful world of time you could watch with no ad breaks? Hi, I'm Speaker D for Narrative Declarations Rotgrind. And all you need to do is skip ad. I also low-key hate that someone on Twitch just gifted 10 tier 1 subs. Thank you very much in that exact monologue. Like, it happened just as you did. They love it. The people want ads. That's what they're always saying. Yeah. Okay, okay. All right, we in it. The entire time we've been laughing, spooky music's been going. So we're going to. I know, I've just turned on my serious music. Oh, my God. You turn on the serious music now. It is called Forgotten Forest, by the way, on TabletopAudio.com. Where you too can get free music. Okay, TabletopAudio should sponsor us. Because everything's free, we give them money, actually. That is true. That is true. Because they're awesome. They do free stuff. You should definitely go and go to their Patreon and go say hi. They do great work. But. As we get into the thing. We're in the thing now. Don't. I pointed all of you. Don't. I'm just breathing. I'm just breathing. What are you doing? It's going to stop. Stop breathing. You're doing it now. Getting tired of breathing. Shut up. Just stop. It's that easy. We have not to lock in. We're in a spooky forest. We're in a spooky forest and we just saw Oren's mom begin to basically bleed rot from her eyes and I guess at this point, I think we're just like at the edge of this clearing as we see the trees and everything just begin to wither and blacken. Yeah, she's sitting up against this tree near the center point as you're coming in. Her eyes are leaking this black. Fluid as this happens. Everything takes on an almost monochromatic appearance. And you can see that with each step that you've taken closer to, you see that everything has like almost a muted appearance. They're still like greens, but some of the greens shifted to grays. The trees are not a brown. They are. They are almost like a sickly. Tan color. And as you walk forward, you can see that the animals have retreated back. And in fact, as they retreat back, you get the general impression that they're just eyes watching you. Can I propose a spooky thing, Thurston? Yeah, of course you can. Of course you can. It's like. Imagine the camera. The camera is basically, you know, centered on her and it's kind of like doing a zoom thing. The eyes are bleeding, but then just camera pans to all the forest creatures running away. But then the only thing you hear is just like anguish screams from them as if the rock got them where everything just goes dark. It's like, oh, God. Oh, yeah. You can see some of the animals, even like some of some of the. More fey creatures have departed here. And it's almost like you're stepping through an illusion. And when you when when the four of you step in. You see that the area has has drastically changed. The ground is cracked in some points with with rocks underneath. It looks as though not a drop of water has touched what was once very clearly a beautiful clearing. With a great tree near the near the center point, smaller trees kind of dot around, but the focal point is still that that visage of Orin's mother who sits by this tree, the horns, in fact, that that emerged from her head. And one of them actually seems to like decay and fall off as you step closer. Orin will immediately run to his mom, just screaming. It's like, Mom, Mom, and he just like just dashes, abandoning all caution as he just rushes towards her. Orin, no! What are the rest of you doing as Orin bolts? I'm running after Orin. I'm staying close. Likewise. I'm going to begin preparing a spell, no doubt I'm going to need it soon. What exactly are you aiming to prepare? Delay consequences for whatever horrible shit is about to happen, which is a reaction. So I'm just I'm I'm watching and I'm waiting, and hopefully if I need to, I'm going to jump in and just try to cast a spell to stop whatever nightmare is about to unfold. Yeah, absolutely. All right. So. Orin, you rush up to the figure. Like her eyes have changed to this this milky white with with this black goo dripping out like droplets falling from her cheeks to form a little pool in front of her. Can I roll? Can I do? No. That's the big question, because because at this time, Orin's freaking out, you know, all this time away from home, he finally finds his mother, you know, worried, sick in the back of his head and all of this is now happening to him. I don't think there's not much. There's not much I can do. There's nothing. There's nothing. No skills I have that can really do it. I have no occultism. You rush up. You rush up in her. I'm pretty much like running straight up to her and I'm just like trying to grab her. He attempts to kind of grab her by the shoulders and he immediately begins to in which I'll burn one like he takes a charge from his staff and tries to cast heal on her, like just thinking like there's something he can do, like he's taking like taking one of the scrolls of mossy weapon or something, just like trying to find some way to fight it off. Okay. So as you rush up and do this and you cast the spell, there is like a brief flicker in the eyes that go from this milky white sort of shifting and becoming more of like kind of white with like a gray green tomber to them and your mother face stares like cocked to a side for a brief moment. And then the second antler falls off. And when it does, it lands in the ground. And. Vina and Rahula, you rush up just just keeping pace behind while Tannhauser stayed a little bit back to to prep magic. You see that as soon as both of the antlers touch the ground. And kind of embed themselves. The rot. Moves that that's been leaking off of her cheek is moving towards them. So it's moving toward the horns that fell off. Exactly. So like like basically both of those those antlers have collapsed off. They've fallen into into the muck and grime beside her. But the rot that's dripping down her face is pulled on the ground and it's like separated into two roughly. Equal. Sized portions that shift off each towards one. Vina is going to very quickly try to snatch them up before the rot gets them. The antlers themselves look rot touched. No. Yeah, very quickly trying to snatch them before anything drips onto them. Sweet. Okay. Give me a reflex save, please. I will do that. I'm going to. I'm going to. I'm pretty good at those. Whoa. I will give you a 44. I'm fast with him. God damn. Yeah. You managed to reach down and like grab one of the sets. But as you do so, there is a flash. You you avert your eyes almost immediately. Um, Rahua, can you give me a reflex? Oh, boy. I guess I can. Oh, that's a 1836. Yeah, you can too. So both of you are able to just look away in time as there is this flash or it's kind of behind you. So you don't see it. And Tannhauser, it's just hard as you do as you go to touch them. Vina, both antlers disappear in a flash of light. But there are these immense forms. That break. Off from where they were, these like strange chimeric figures like a deer with wings, with great antlers, but the the back feet of birds. There are two of them and these these spectral blue gray light figures fly around the Grove kind of circling. Out in the air. Do you do you recognize those, Oren? At at this stage, Oren is like not even noticing anything else as as in his mind, everything's racing like a mile a minute. And so he's just kind of grabbing his mother. He's like, he's just trying everything that he can. He takes a mossy scroll thing and just tries to like, like just doesn't know, like a rock or limb or something. It just tries to put it in her hand. Starts chanting something like anything he can do, but internally, Oren is finding that he does not have the power due to his decisions, and so he kind of looks back and calls on Gorgomonger to help. It's like Gorgomonger, please, please, Gorgomonger and Gorgomonger does not come up. Gorgomonger just stares at him as he didn't realize is he's not coming over to help him. Oren quickly just turns around. Gorgomonger just went like options out, do something else, do anything to stop this as he begins to panic. First, I like to propose something. Yeah. Any time that he has to deal is like, I don't know how the encounter is going to go. Actually, let's do that first. But I wanted to propose that I have to take will saves ever so often or he's petrified or like panicking. Oh, we'll get to that. Absolutely. Do whatever you want is basically what I'm saying. Yeah, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. For sure. I appreciate that. So, so, Vina, you, you now have sort of got the antlers are gone. These creatures are now flying around. They are circling the area and they seem to be staring down at you. Tannhauser, give me a warfare check. You got it, boss. Oh, that is. Oh, that is. Oh, that is. Going to be a seven on the die for a twenty seven. It's enough. This is very much an assessment pass. Like you're able to get enough of like a tactical overlay. They're sort of flying above the combat zone, circling, assessing your positions. I see, so this is definitely the prelude to combat. They are like these are very territorial creatures. Whatever they are, the rounding on us, we need to prepare to fight or flee, but I got to get mom out of here. Your mother is dead, Orin. Orin with wet eyes looks at you and shakes his head as he tries to, like, like, pick up his mom, basically tries to, like, get her off. I assume she was like on a stump or on the ground or so. And he just tries to, like. Pick her up. She was just the base. Yeah. So here. Also fantastic art by Skelly. I know. Yeah. Let's bring you all over to where I am. Whoa. Yeah. Ruh roh. OK. All right. So as you can see on the area. You're sort of in this clearing with the tree in the center as you go to move her, Orin, you can tell that along your mother's back as you've now closed in, there are these vines, not vines, maybe, like, sinuous ropes of black rot that connect her to the ground and the back of the tree. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. And as you kind of. I'm sorry. Move, move to shift her. That's when the spectral flying figures let out this hooting break sounds indicating clear reaction to this. Do the spirits look raw, touched to me? You do not. But they're definitely going to roll initiative against you. So I'm going to get. Y'all to roll initiative. initiative uh with whatever appropriate uh skill you may have why did i roll why did that roll um no you got an initiative for it 13 on the die i think i accidentally clicked you for the i got uh to go top down and down for everybody uh just for podcast listeners uh the uh how do i how do i pronounce it i think i've always gotten it wrong yeah peritons okay uh peritons got a 46 and 40 they're top oran got a 35 in townhazer tenhauser got a 34 rahua got a 33 and vena got 27 awesome i want to do a more clear form and stuff and so with that there's a rut row indeed same see you when we were in kingmaker and i would get this like blast of music the second i pressed like beginning counters and it would give me like a minor stroke yeah uh all right so the first parrot um flying in the air they are 25 feet up in relative position to you flies over around as it does so it drops it casts a spell midair um and a sec here it drops amidst all of you a a conjures forth from the ground uh a swirling mist um and you can see within the mist that it is summoned is uh like a freezing cold like ice is sort of um nipping at every area and you can see that your own breath is sort of on the air as this appears um um um um And that's that. And then the second one goes. The second one maintains where it is. Descending down as it doesn't stay aloft this turn. Instead, it sort of glides down to the ground. And as it does so, it casts a spell. Its eyes sort of staring through you. And you barely make this out before the mist overtakes you. And it causes the ground to erupt around you. A far larger burst. That's big. That's a lot. Yeah. As creepers begin to burst out of the ground. They're like grappling, little vines and stuff. It's kind of at odds with the rotten appearance of the area. You can see that these same things are coming out and like kind of grappling at the ground. Excellent. Okay. You can tell that moving in here might be true. Yeah. And that. That is those creatures go, Oren, you are up. What are you going to do? I would like to recall knowledge for one action. To basically identify. I know it's going to be cheap if I try to do it both at the same time. But the one, the bigger one, I suppose, I think would be the most important one for us right now. If I could do a certain check to be like, hey, what is this? Yeah, sure. Give me. Give me a knowledge nature check here is definitely your thing. Here's a nature check that's 10 on the die for a total of 33. Okay. So you are familiar with the creatures called Peritons. They are beasts. They're typically very evil beasts that are bestial. Some of them can speak common tongues. Yeah. Yeah. You know, myths talk about them, that they are creatures that prey on the weak, that they rip out the beating hearts of those they kill. They're, they're like, they're, they're the types of things that you were told about as a child, like, you know, a druidic greening way, boogeyman of sorts. Yeah. Oddly enough. These creatures seem to be a bit less snarling and vile than those. They have, they look almost more noble and majestic. You know that these are not. Before you give me info. What was that? I apologize because my role is specifically for the spell that's on the ground. The big AOE one. Oh, sorry. Sorry. I didn't want you to get me extra information on them. Just in case. No, no, I appreciate that. Sorry. Sorry. I misinterpreted. Do you know which two effects are you wanting to know? The bigger one you said? Yes, sir. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Yeah. That is enough for you to know that this is a tingling creeper spell. In game mechanics, you know that this is like a six level primal spell. And any creature that moves within this takes a minus 10 foot penalty to its speeds. And these guys can maintain this. And when they maintain this. they can cause vines to immobilize targets gotcha okay okay for the second action Thurston I want to do recall knowledge on the smaller AUE now yeah same nature chip? do it yes same thing awesome that is a 35 total 12 of them die cool this is a frozen fog which by the way you're affected by right now so give me a reflex save DC is 35 got a 10 to die for 32 okay okay okay okay so you're going to take 29 why is it pick turn again you're gonna take 29 points of cold damage uh-huh and I'm sorry sorry to say you are also going to be clumsy one for the next minute oh am I a Thurston? yes well I have you know that I have a feat that okay that will do absolutely nothing cause I didn't take mercy of grace I took or did I I don't did you I got mercy of the body and then I got greater mercy and I got the power of the Colossus I got the power of the Colossus greater mercy which would be mercy of grace which would be clumsy yeah so my final action i'll cast lay on hands of myself yeah yeah you want to because i'll tell you where the combo wombo is here because frozen fog which you would know um is like a misspell so it's obscuring vision and whatnot yes um and a creature who starts their turn in the area takes 68 cold damage with with a fortitude save as you just did creature that fails to save his clumsy one for one minute um and you take a minus 10 foot status penalty to your speed as long as you're clumsy now the fun thing is is the tangling creepers aren't a status they're a circumstance so you're kind of like a monster currently while moving at a minus 20 to your speed yeah i gotta learn the spell primal spells are fun y'all well oh also when they sustain the spell they can move it does the spell have any height uh it's like a misspell so it's um like a dome yeah it's like okay basically yeah well good thing i have a flying speed of 35 so i can make some ground uh so i'm going to immediately uh start making my way downtown rolling fast so you're gonna you're gonna take you're still because you're starting on the ground you're gonna take the penalty so you are gonna take the minus 20 to this yeah so 20 yeah 20 to here as i go right yeah 20 5 10. so 30. what's your what's your fly speed 35. so you get 15 feet yeah this is as far as i can go so 5 10 15. yeah i'm gonna go three squares cool that'll be my final action as he just looks at his mother and see he's just the he's uh if i can take some liberties uh see the rot like chords basically begin to just kind of you know like bind her to this tree and keep her there and he just he's knowing that he's uh he's not going to be able to get away from that tree until he sees it uh so he's he's got other priorities right now there's nothing he can do and so he's immediately just like i need to get out of this and i need to make sure my friends are okay so he bolts out of there and now his turn is ended now it's ten houses okay ten hazard give me a fortitude save please oh you got it it'd be my delight to do that um i know it is uh yeah let's rock oh that's gonna be a four on the dice i think i would like to re-roll that with a hero yes use your hero point here we go that is a 10 on the die a little bit better for a 42 okay sec take half of this so take 13 points of cold damage you are not clumsy what would you like to do you still are at a minus uh 10 foot to movement because of uh being in the creepers i've got a plan because you're in mist um if you're doing anything that targets them specifically there is a concealed check you'd have good to know okay so is it the mist or the ground that is hurting us it's the mist the mist is what's hurting okay interesting damnation i can't see head of high water here everyone i'm clearing away uh and i am going to go ahead and i'm going to cast gust of wind um which is a second level spell here that will allow me to put place a 60 foot line that i will center uh behind myself and point forward and i don't know if i can do that properly here how can i oh yeah yeah i can okay great yeah so i'm going to uh place it like so and uh that is going to clear a line out of the fog uh dispersing fog and mist um and uh everyone in that line is going to have to make me a fortitude save uh including myself and rahua and rahua well yeah i'm including everybody yeah yeah 31 oh and i will make i will fail that so uh we are both knocked prone um mother dearest also is going to have to make a fortitude save uh she is currently well connected to the tree so she's not really knocked she's kind of like pinned to the tree now like pulled up against it okay fair enough fair enough definitely give both of you a broke condition all right so hopefully that should open a channel with which at the very least we can stand in without getting frozen to death um and then with my final action um remember this lasts until the start of your next turn so yeah my last action uh i am prone on the ground which sucks and but i do have a good look at rahua's not rahua's mom at orin's mom stop looking at my mom i don't i look in my locket after who is mom oh milky somebody cut his mic somebody cut his mic i am my mom that's awesome uh that reminds me of the grand theft auto line that the npc say is like my mom is my sister all right so from a prone position and and tell me if i can't do this thurston i'm going to cast the first level jump spell and i am going to uh okay belly flop my way 30 feet this spell too? this way and land on my feet question mark um okay could i make an acrobatics check to attempt to land on my feet you know i'll allow that because i think like rules is written it doesn't change any of your conditions so like you could jump you'd just be prone where you land it it's like a seal jump time how's a seal maneuver that's four on the time yeah you're ceiling yeah you can place yourself further up the gust of wind and land on your back now technically you tried buddy wait wait wait i got i got something even better are you ready okay all right all right last time last time oh my god oh no technically when you are jumping oh boy you're basically flying right so theoretically i could take the advantages of a critical failure for the gust of wind and be pushed 30 feet knock prone and then take 2d6 bludgeoning damage that wouldn't benefit me at all i'm not going to argue this anymore and i'm going to end my turn no but you can't hurt me it's not my turn you can't hurt me i i think what was so funny in that was that speaker cut out so many times in in some of what he was explaining but perfectly came across when he was like let me do this thing that hurts myself and then continue to have audio a great 10 out of 10. beautiful excellent that's what it's all about podcast you're not going to know what that sounded like because we're we're trying to do different audio stuff so maybe it's more clear now so of course you don't get the discord effects you know what no i'm not doing this for who crosses his arms laying prone on the ground and cast his cast fly well yeah that too and i'm going to use my remaining action to just simply levitate upwards still pro in an effective prone position with my arms crossed and remove myself from the fog okay so how far up are you going that's a great question thurston because presently within the fog how high does it go okay so it's it's it's it's like a dome okay uh but remember you're currently not in the fog because it's been gust of winded it's true so i'll allow you to fly up and out of the effective range which would be from where you are probably about 20 feet up okay so remember flying up is double so if you go straight up do your first movement is it minus 10 feet even though you're flying you still have the creepers slowing you down as you ascend up so i think you can only get 10 feet up yeah i think so but you can get off the creepers which is probably useful that's yeah it's definitely a start we'll take that okay all right so you're flying prone and up 10 feet okay i love but how am i prone in the sky how does that work thurston i mean you're not technically prone just being funsies um well you know yeah you're you're lying yeah i want to be prone yeah yeah i mean i'm just i'm expecting thurston to say you know what you you are prone you're flying in here no no it's fine it's fine i'll hurt you in other ways uh so you're like a glitched in pc just floating in the air i'll just pass uh vina i believe it brings us to you uh once for who uh passes his turn um give me a fortitude savina i will give you a fortitude save that's not great that's a 25. it's 25. you will take 26 cold damage ah chili which i forget do you have resistance to cold uh i don't believe so no you have resistance to acid okay take 26 damage i love that scream it's so good uh and then you will be a clumsy one for the next minute not clumsy which will also give you minus 10 to your movement speed boop oh that's like oh i forgot i'll put that on oran as well since we're gonna hit my head no there we go okay all right uh so it is your go vina what are you gonna do all right i'm gonna spend my first two actions to pop the wings of air cool uh there we go oh it did it twice yeah so nice you could it's one for each wing um excellent good and then i'll keep it pretty simple here uh i'm just going to levitate up um because the fog has been dissipated can i just levitate up like five feet no no no you're not in the area the fog was dissipated oh right it's a line uh yeah and then in that case i'm gonna spend five feet of air twenty feet of air deeper now one more time five feet up eight feet out twenty-five feet five five feet up i did five in all four of them he had ten rotary drops 肉 he was zusammen yikes okay nice uh to get out of the creepers sure um and then i'm gonna move five ten fifteen to here perfect okay uh and so that'll be five feet and i love it not 50. all right and that is the end of my turn with that uh what are these fuck-ass birds doing well there at the start of the initiative wait a second did we just have someone join all right no that's your cue i know i was sorry i'm a little slow to respond but i am here my internet is also having some mild latency because i my messages didn't go through to hulking when i messaged him that i was going to be here i was back oh you and me brother yeah this has been cursed your transformer blew up speakers been having issues i had encoding issues for some weird reason and everything's cursed today also we're starting a podcast yeah we're starting a podcast apparently yeah that's extra cursed yeah every time we talk about warhammer an ad comes in so i'm glad you're back oh um it's epic back i'll put baldrick at the bottom here he'll blow a hole in the ceiling you're you're in a grove can i blow a hole in the canopy all rot infested okay i mean you could try first of all i'm gonna make you what the fuck are these i see deer that's awesome that's awesome who's a really good good combat setup we were presenting a fun puzzle now now you're here and you have to you have to roll initiative for me okay give me a second perception please can i make it stealth because i wasn't here yeah that's fine you're being sneaky yeah that's that's why i didn't see me i was lagging behind all right i roll my uh initiative for stealth i got a 19 and that puts me at 44 for my uh that puts me close to the top that's awesome you you're gonna you're gonna go after these guys so after the first one so you're gonna go between these things hey warriors i got a quick question because i haven't been here and i can't scrub back to watch the vod what the hell happened why are there deer deer birds oran's mom oran's mom is has got it going on sorry uh no oran's mom is all rot infested her horns fell off uh and the horns were not rot infested and then the horns became these two majestic creatures that were so circling us for a little bit as we were investigating uh and then they decided to square up and drop spells on our head i see okay i will remain at a distance for their entirety of the fight thanks okay uh to to to inform to inform you of what the various effects on the on the board are the outside circle is a ground effect that is a bunch of tangling creepers and vines that have burst out of the ground and slow people down um the central one is an ice storm um that's currently has a small line of non-effect in it because Speaker Gust have winded a bunch of it. I see. Okay, I'm going to remain at a very far distance so that I'm okay. Yep. You go after this first one, so I'm going to have it go. Its first action is going to be to sustain this and just shift it up a little bit so it catches Oren again. Oh, come on! Gosh! Gosh! Give me a break! My mom's dying right now! Veena, however... Oh, I thought of a dark joke. Oh, no. Keep it in. Keep it in. What are you talking about? Don't you dare! Don't you do it. Stay on, Toria. Oh, it was real dark. Oh, I thought of the worst thing to say and it was real evil. Yes, we know, Zoran, you're evil. Yes. We owe you evil, Zoran. All right. Okay, um, the... Uh... Uh... Uh... Uh... Uh... Uh... Uh... Uh... It's gonna... You've made it very, very annoying. So I think my only option here... The next option is... And Baldrick will be unaffected. Uh... Uh... affected by this uh but vena makes a nice launching point uh it's gonna cast chain lightning on you vena oh no come on come on now i have chain lightning spell counter spell i've got chain lightning prepared hey buddy hey buddy yeah buddy yeah roll me 1d20 sure let's see if thurston can make counter spell even less reliable that's a 15 no actually i was rolling to see if you could see the thing through the fog i don't need to because i gusted of wind i gusted of wind because meaning i don't have fog on my spot until the start of my next turn align yes but you're staring through fog at it oh i understand okay that's fair that's fair that's fair yeah that's that's physics but you succeed on your check now you can give me your now you can give me your your your your your check all right i've never actually successfully counter spelled before i don't think i most the time i try and then it turns out i i can't i have to make a chance your reward is dealing one your reward is dealing 1d6 damage congratulations do i roll arcana again what do i what do i roll to successfully counter spell um so you are doing a counteract check uh you let's see here yeah so one sec and you're using dispell magic this is one of those things that i don't read up on a lot because i don't do it a lot it's okay counter spells one of those words like oh god yeah it's one of those things where i always forget generally if i have a player does it they know what they're doing trying to counter this whole campaign um oh it's rank is the counter rank rank roll me a d20 oh yeah we'll figure this out that's a 10 on the die okay your spellcasting attribute modifier plus your spellcasting proficiency bonus okay my spellcasting attribute is plus five for my intelligence intelligence and i'm an expert so plus 17 an arcane expert uh-huh uh-huh so 22 32 32 is my spell dc um um yeah we can just keep going i'm sorry to say you are slightly shy of the prize i'm okay is this an ability check no no no it's a counteract like it's a spell counteract check well okay so it would not it's a is it a skill check no no no it's it's its own type of of check i agree i was a bit morejm i was a bit morej i have nanite surge that gives me plus two status bonus to trigger a spell check i regret the day i learned how to counter spell it doesn't work okay worst part is you're off by like two on this thing so you can ask for a pity point no you could ask for pity point i would rather watch you get electrocuted oh okay it's locked up well what's i mean getting electrocuted i literally handed you i mean it will be him like i handed you the success solution well okay all right let's let's let you know what life or death for birdie boy life or death for birdie boy and it's chain lightning which means it's gonna hurt oh yeah okay fine i won't let my pride deep fry oren um thanks sure i'll take i'll take a pity point i'll i forget that you called my mom hot i mean she's not anymore she's not i mean don't counter spell it die the only way you'll fail this is if you roll an 11 or a one okay well how could that possibly happen there we go 20. that's 20. oh i'm the best at counter spelling oh it's so fun and reliable what's your what's your complication i'll tell you my complication my complication i'm going to pick one too yeah this seems very fitting this is from anarchic the complication name is you were not thinking of them what is the complication you were not thinking of the milves that's pretty substantive debuff dude yeah many episodes later doomed for doomed for doomed for alright power word kills it's like that it's like that tumblr user I keep seeing where it says kind of a mil free blog you just did that to Orin's mom as she is decaying before you I did that last session too I'm gonna use that I'm gonna use that you're not thinking of them you're not thinking of the milve behind you with the leaking pools of rot that are now going around your legs because you're facing the opposite direction and actually pulling you towards her my god I wasn't thinking of her I wasn't thinking of her at all I love the cutouts Baldrick that's his mechanics failing as he's pulled thanks discord for saving us because I am still invisible apparently am I still stealth or should I re-roll should I re-roll stealth uh you you would come in stealth they're unaware of you right now as far as you're aware okay so in that case I would like to roll a would a recall knowledge help me know what the fuck I'm looking at with these two things Nature piece of shit I have no nature actually no I've got nature trained I could try I could try that okay uh got to target that one I don't know why I'm targeting it uh I gotta target that one I don't know why I'm targeting it uh got to target that one I don't know why I'm targeting it targeting it but i'll roll a nature uh my nature is better than that so i'm just gonna roll go it's a 9 and a 16 for a 25 does that give me anything thurston it does not you are not familiar with what these are these are some kind of nature spirits potentially but you've literally just kind of followed up on your party and seen all this is like what the hell's going on okay i i checked that one can i do the same to the other one now yeah it's the second skill check sure sure because i'm not i i like i'm not gonna go throwing grenades at two things while my oh i'm the only feasible target uh so i'm gonna target the other one and i'm going to attempt a nature check again please be better that's much better uh 15 for a 35 yeah it's enough for you to recognize these they have the same shape as sort of um these these natural beasts called peritons that are these kind of like boogeymen of the forest though these ones seem to be different in some way they're far more regal they have less of the appearance you'd associate with them also they're incorporeal and kind of spectral like okay so that's then that would that would mean magic then because they're incorporeal oh oh yes yes yes these are these are not the physical creatures they're they're definitely like some kind of spiritual entity okay that has taken the form of a natural creature how's uh how's oran's mom looking decaying in front of tan hauser um so you can kind of see perfectly through the gust of wind so you can see that she's sort of placid like like she's just sort of sitting there um without much expression and it's more of this goop that's come out of her eyes and has now been like pulling tan hauser in she looks almost trance like okay so she doesn't look like she's collapsed inward like a rotten husk she looks just like regular rotten yeah okay okay seems i'm at an impasse tell you what i'm gonna do i'm going to because i'm way out of range for these things yeah 90 feet uh what is my i gotta check my move again because i keep forgetting i think it's 20 oh right 25 land because my armor is better now okay i'm going to move 25 feet over there for my last action i'm being seen i don't know why is there at this point at this point yes but why is there a beam because there's a beam you didn't tell me there'd be a beam you lied to me ghost wizard end of my turn all right the other parroton is gonna go this one has nothing it has to maintain so instead of having a small one i'm gonna draw a little bit of a long one that's a little bit too big for this one move to here swoosh no get that thing away from me it's going to cast a spell no no no no yeah yeah yeah voice there for a second no no no the parrot is going after him wait wait wait wait where is it there it is oh is this thing gonna cast fucking chain lightning yes i am sure well fuck well it doesn't lie it's wrong how could you how could you say that how could you doubt it there's probably a worse spell mm-hmm okay uh if i could have each of you each of you each of you in this new area of effect which is uh tannhauser or an androhua give me a reflex save no come on more fucking reflex saves not 20 fuck you very not 29 less good oh 22 cool hey i'm gonna gave or in your energy you wanna i think i'm gonna hero point that would be so awesome you want you wanna reroll that buddy yeah yeah okay that's fine 35 better that's cool this is probably far more amusing well yep i won't know can i make up my own the i want the x siwerk on the night shift sorry oh no no you're good you're good you're good you are all pushed out into this area like outside of it um tan hauser as you were being pulled suddenly you are stopped um and you you you turn around and like your feet kicking you realize that you are now imprisoned in this thing that this that this is actually some sort of prison now that you are trapped in woe is me whack ass crystal prison so that's what it feels like is that what i've been doing to people i belong is this how i've been walling people with my spells wow go to wizard jail is this what being thrown into magical jail is like this is awesome i would i will do this more i love it this i'm so liberated this isn't a force war with socialist characteristics oran it's your go yeah yeah it sure is man yeah yeah so i'm out of the center one so i'm not dealing with that i'm going to go on himself lay on hands uh so that will get rid of his clumsy see his blessing thingy on him yep which means he will get healing and of course because he's doing it on himself he gets healed for 42 don't worry i got that and he gets to lay on hands thing and he is no longer clumsy so he's not dealing with that anymore not not not not not not it's probably because i'm in the anyway uh so with that that's frozen fog that's right uh so with that he's got two actions left uh he's going to try and fly out of here just so he can just kind of spread out a little bit he's going it's going to be 5 10 because i'm still in the thing uh still struggling for the creepers yep yeah so 5 10 near it because if it had if it had uh you know reaction strike it probably would have got me already uh and now i'm going to do it is it is not five ten five uh yeah five ten so i'm trying to do math here so 20 20 to here for and then one more action i could then go up uh three four i'll get up to 30 and get up to basically here get up to 30 and basically uh pretty much bottom right of this puritan you know that should be 25 i'm sorry i'm cheating uh 25 feet up in the air as i begin to flap up and just trying to get out of this stuff uh so if it moves he's like a good distance up at least uh kind of like in level with how the puritan is that is all of his actions at the end of his turn okay tannhauser all right start of your turn your guess the wind goes away that's true um then i require you to give me a fortitude save you got it boss that's almost in that one that's a 20 i know all right you will take uh 37 points of cold damage as the mist slinks back in from its other portions of the prison you are in uh and you will be clumsified one i see i see okay well this is not going well i am going to let me just see all right here's what i'm gonna do i am going to quick cast quicken cast translocation um now any location i could see would be obscured um now any location i could see would be obscured but i could theoretically still see it no no you can you can it's only targeting creatures so you're you're fine you're fine you could you can translocate okay in that case i'm going to translocate uh how far above the ground is this uh this freak oh he's on the ground oh excellent what about this guy uh uh 25 feet 25 feet all right i'm going to translocate on top of him okay wait a second he's he's a ghost yes brings new definition to the term ghost riding the whip well i don't want to do that but i i can't get my guy anymore because he's under a big old horse he's under the token he's just trapped there now you're in the horse prison do do me a favor do you for me speaker there you go there you go oh thank god go somewhere very nice that moves you get out of there all right okay well uh these horses you are not going to work out not horses i'm going to go yeah you can go 120 feet anywhere yeah i'm gonna choose to go 10 feet over here actually what is over here that's in the tree in the tree yeah yeah there's a tree there and here's the under all the templates here's my plan all right that was quick cast that only took one action so that we leave the swift brain making an ultimately single force fist and that will make these horsés can handle the whole game okay i can bethe key here zoom i'm not gonna i want to do this when i say zoom boom i was broken i finally got the sword let me see provoke let me fight no more fighting no more fighting let me fight oh no more fighting fine And out of context of this, this is very wrong. This is evil. Like, as Oren's flying and he hears you, then you turn into a blub blub. He's like, you see Oren get very serious for a moment. And that's all I can do. That's my turn. I'm sorry, Oren. I must turn into a goo. I'm sorry, Oren. Yeah, just a gray goo of nanite ooze just pouring all over this tree. That's all I can do on my turn. But that's the most efficacious. I don't really have anything. I could earthbind the one that's up 25 feet, but it's insubstantial. I don't even know if I could do that. So I'm going to pass turn. If nothing else, I'll keep myself alive a little longer. Yeah. Bulky. Yeah? It's your turn. Give me a fortitude save. Sure. Does your 35 work? Yeah, you'll only take half damage. Oh, joy of joys. Wow, that's a lot of high numbers. All right. You'll take 19 points of cold damage as you're in the freezing cold and still unharmed. I'm on the creepers. Wow. Cool. Actually, sorry. You're not. I'm flying. Yeah, that's right. But you are in the freezing cold. Yeah. So my moves are reduced by 20 feet. Correct. Only 10 feet because you're off the creepers. Oh, well, you know. Actually, no, you made your save. So you're actually fine. Normal move. Normal move. Cool. I will expend one of my abilities. I'm sorry. One of my actions to move 15 feet out of the fog. Sure. And I would like to attempt to recall knowledge on one of these paratons. Yeah. And see if I can determine the nature of their strengths. Okay. I'm going to give you a recall knowledge check. Hold on, Tertian. It'll be nature. So go for it. Oh, I know. Nature. Hold on. Oh, yeah. Hold on. I'll get into it. 36. Yeah. So these are ghostly spiritual versions of paratons. They're obviously enhanced because paratons on their own don't have spellcasting. So these are like primal extensions, like powerful druidic greening way sort of. Entities. So, what is something you'd like to know about them? I would like to know if they are particularly willful or fortuitous. Particularly what are fortuitous or willful or fortuitous? Oh, excellent. They are very willful. Okay. Not quite as fortuitous. Okay. I'm going to go. I'm going to go. I'm going to go. I'm going to go. I'm going to go. that much I can work with mediocre reflexes mediocre reflexes okay alright alright well I suppose in lieu of being close enough to attack him Rahul is going to realize he's floated high enough out of the chilling mist like oh oh we're done with that bit now cool go not see somewhere else and he'll stick out a hand and fire a laser I'm going to cast radiant beam at this one it's an 120 foot line and you have TC 31 basic reflex save you want to put down the line put down the line I'll put down the line short hold on yeah do it put it down hold on hold on hold on hold on your beam is so big and full your beam is so big and full oh it's so big oh big beam oh it's so big oh big beam oh it's so big oh big beam oh big oh big beam oh big beam oh big beam oh my big piece we will punish these villains all right now I can make the reflex at the bottom right there should be a at the bottom right there should be a button for you Thurston and one sec I have to check something and one sec I have to check something I have to check something huh okay whew had to make sure of something to make sure you hadn't just fucked yourself okay very good had to make sure of something to make sure you hadn't just fucked yourself okay very good uh reflex save reflex I'll succeed it I'll succeed it 37 it gracefully dodges its head uh with 37 versus 31 uh but you can roll damage still okay i'll try does it do anything it takes 12 points it takes 12 points of damage yeah it's okay it's affected by magical damage yeah okay all right yeah well first and that's uh that's about all i can ding ding do right now because i only had enough moves to move out of the cold you're still in the oh you know you yeah you're still in the cold oh it was uh 25 feet tall wasn't that oh sorry you sorry you didn't adjust your your thing you have to right click your guy and yeah it still says you're 10 feet up so it's like it's only 25 feet up i'm 10 feet up i know you said that but adjust it um all right well that's gonna bring us to vena once you've adjusted it bro i don't know i don't know i don't know do the adjusting vena what are you gonna do all right well i can't really do much against ghosts um that's not really my forte but i'm i'm cooking a theory possibly because these things look noble and regal and they came out of her horns uh would i need to make a roll to see if their horns look any more corporeal than the rest of them because the horns became these things yeah yeah you can give me a perception check yeah how am i always sickened for this tree is so ill because you're sick as hell i'm sick as hell uh i'll give you a 35 on perception um it's not that they are physical themselves but it's almost as though you see like little physical bits within the horns like okay yeah like moving little like corporeal bits uh maybe pieces of the horns or something physical that is floating inside oren there's stuff inside the horns okay we might have a chance don't don't kill his mom who's gonna do what oozehouser i'll kill the one who touches my mom oh my god all right and then i'm gonna use my second action to go oh i need my dexterity you cannot go through oh well you can't go through oozehouser yes i can go through oozehouser yes weep uh so i'll go there flank this thing as best i can uh and get out of that cold oh do i need to make another save for the cold oh could you set it to uh you were out of it you were oh i was out of it okay yeah um yeah rehua didn't end his turn so thank you wirin doesn't need to take her turn we can just sit here in loveworld forever where nobody dies if i never in my turn then they will never get a chance to move we'll just be here forever time won't advance we'll win yeah uh all right so uh weena's gonna use her final action to i'm just gonna take to to i'm just gonna take serve players in turn a swing at one of the horns and see if there's any possibility I can lop it off. I don't exactly have a cutting weapon, but it's the best I can do. You can give me a stabby stabby. Yeah, I'm not looking for damage. I'm more looking for accuracy. Will I take any penalties? Yeah, minus two. Minus two. Okie dokie. Minus two. Circumstance. Add. Hmm. Oh, I whiff it. That was a great noise. That is a whiff. That is a whiff. That's a big whiff. Um. God, AC30. Um. I'm gonna go ahead and spend my hero point on re-rolling that. I think this is, even if it's not good damage, it's good information. Sure. Yo. Yo. Yo. Alright. So I'll give you a 42 to hit. You strike it, um, like where some of the bits are. You can tell that it doesn't seem to have much of an effect. You can roll me damage, but, um, you can tell that it's more like, this is just the thing that animated it. It's not like it's keeping it around. Now it's kind of doing its own thing. Damn. Well, it was a good theory. I'll give you 23. It takes damage from that. Okay. Uh, and that will be Veena turn. Boop. Alright. Well, that's gonna bring us to the Parrot and Witch. Oh, man. Uh... Uh-oh. Is gonna move the ice storm up ten feet to get Rahua. Come on, now. You're a bitch-ass motherfucker, you know that? Ha ha ha! Uh, the Parrot is just sitting there like Bane and it says, the cold rises. Oh, god, I love that. That makes me so happy. You're gonna make my one eye go milky white so I can become a weird mystic freak. I'm just gonna put my big finger at you and curse you. As one does. Curse you, Finder. For its next action. Uh, sees the ooze as an immediate threat. Um, targets it and coughs up a blast of viscous um, liquid. Um, one sec here. Just gonna roll a, uh, their attack rolls here. Oh! What? Uh-oh. Sorry, what is that dog sound? I forgot. Tannhauser's armor is terrible now. That's right. Oh, no. I was, I was wondering why it was like, oh, it's a critical hit. Eight. Yeah. I forgot that when he turns into an ooze. Um. One sec. Well, that's not good. That ooze was fun while it lasted. Yeah. Well. You know, it's, it's fine. All right, I have no armor class. I'm very easy to hit as a slime. But he's also immune to critical hits. You're very oozy to hit. So. Oh, yeah, that's right. So. Yeah. Yeah. Lil Uzi Vert. And I have resistance. So don't worry. I'm not doing double damage. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I can't let that pun go unacknowledged. I'm gonna, I'm gonna get you, Hulky. I will never be punished. You took, you took umbrage with his and not Lil Uzi Vert. That's true. I didn't hear you making the Uzi Vert. Good. I shake your hand. I shake your hand. It's wet and slimy. We're both oozes. You'll take eight points of fire damage, Tannhauser. I'll grumble in a ooze-like, but still obviously socialist way. Okay. You're also on fire. Hmm. The ooze is on fire. That's bad, it sounds like. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. That's bad, it sounds like. Yeah. Cause, because the persist on this is two d eight. Owie. Oh, shit, is what Tannhauser would say if he was not ooze. Yeah. I agree. Seems like your ooze is on fire, not so good, it seems. Baldrick, it is, it is your go. Okay, uh, did this thing move closer to me? I gotta check, it didn't move at all, I don't think. No, it didn't move. Though, it sustained. oh wait it's also 25 feet up so i actually have to be a lot closer yes well hang on a second so 70 plus 25 that's 85 my throw range is 60 that's only one like penalty right what do you mean so like if i were so i'd be taking okay so if i threw from here that's 70 feet right yeah my normal range is 60 because of so yeah you you take one penalty one right even though it's also 25 feet up yeah absolutely okay triangle doesn't increase it that much i know i was i was making sure that it didn't someone will know trigonometry and correct me in the comments but that's fine no because yeah it's not gonna be like greater than 120 feet it's fucked up i could throw something like that i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know something 120 feet and still only incur one a single minus one you are a godlike character now my throwing arm you haven't been practicing his throwing arm not that much um right 13th level bomber i mean come on so remind me again thurston uh incorporeal week two not week two but takes damage from magic correct so that's anything but a physical attack yes however despite them looking incorporeal you did previously see a bit of vena hit it and have like a pretty solid effect okay so if i were to throw any of my non-physical like i wouldn't want to throw a junk bomb at it for for example theoretically yeah like you'd want to throw something with some some elemental kick behind it would probably do well okay then i'm going to test first by throwing acid flask greater gonna draw and throw i don't know why my junk bomb is not working it's still drawn it's not drawn i put it away forever where is ass uh acid blast creator draw and i'm targeting it yep draw and uh is this sticky bomb i will get a stick bomb i had to uncheck it for the last one i threw let's see if this does anything that's a miss on a five i'm gonna hero point that because that's a critical miss i'm not even gonna hit absolutely all right uh re-roll with a hero point that works for me 16 on the dive 37 that'll hit good uh let me do my damage uh acid sticky bomb has expanded splash yes yes yes just checking everything i got so many i have so many switches i have to check that are that are in position here it's maddening here we go uh 13 direct acid damage and then jesus uh it will take 3d6 plus 10 persistent acid damage yeah you can see this strikes it and immediately begins dissolving it like it it almost seems as though the creature may appear in corporeal but it's not in corporeal i got a question thurston is it behaving like fog um like kind of in a similar vein to like the animated fog i'm gonna see if i got something for this hang on not not for fog i don't have anti-fog weapons that's insane how the hell am i trained in nature but untrained in arcana and my arcana is higher whatever uh intelligence right i guess uh thurston would you allow me to see if these are truly ghostly enemies or if they are merely incorporeal and animated magic something or other with an arcana chip yeah sure okay i'm gonna try that out it's been an action too oh wait no you want to know why i uh you don't want to know why i have an 18 untrained improvisation oh yeah there you go that'll do it uh that'll give me a 14 on the die for 32 total yeah it's enough to tell that these have an appearance of like incorporeal things but they themselves are not they are like magical constructs of some kind it's probably how you identify them and that you're able to tell they're more like constructed things like almost like in the vein of like a summoned creature interesting that wouldn't allow me to pinpoint from whence they were summoned besides the horns right no no correct like you'd need a bit more a bit more to figure would you allow me to try something to figure that out maybe an occultism since they're summoned um i think at this point you're you're kind of tapped like you don't have a way like your your guess is is that they're probably tied to orin's mother and something like that i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know maybe just based off of the way they appeared but beyond that you don't have particulars and the horns are just are the horns her horns or are they just like there they're they like the horns animated these things and then there's like little physical bits that were floating in them um though you haven't had time to have a conversation with vina about this as a player you would know that vena like when she struck them she had a similar effect where they weren't you know they weren't incorporeal um they are corporeal um but like once they were animated by these things they're kind of going like it's not like taking the bits out or just gonna de-animate them they're kind of like they're gonna start going on their own um damn that leaves me with little to do except throw more grenades uh so you know what i'm gonna do i'm gonna i'm gonna draw and throw my remaining alchemist fire okay okay and that's map minus five this is gonna be rough because it's already a range penalty kaboom that's a critical hit for a nat 20 there you go and on the alchemist fire too so that's gonna hurt all right yeah that's what we needed i think we'll find out critical hit by plus zero that's so fucked up oh just so you're telling me i needed the 20 to hit that yes that's fucked okay critical hit let's go that is not sticky bomb because i can only do that once per row go uh pitiful 30 damage okay barks like a dog that's all right takes it two times three persistent fire what oh wait right because it's not sticky bomb that's why not sticky bombed yeah okay well that's my uh that's my roll come on turn all right that's gonna bring us to the second of these creatures um tar hauser and vina and orin are in your eye oh no no no no what what orb shouldn't attack horn right Yes without question yes without question Yes and No tecon yes without the coz yes it yes it should attack or is what it sounded like that would be silly whose howzer that's me use howzer give me a read You got it, Boss! Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Bla Blah All right, what xo All right, where we going It's a little too slow for aograf вид doesn't mean much but we stamps leuka xochitl we got it boss I get late okay, or no more seeing it sister nat 20 okay sweet um uh okay sorry what the fuck thanks Aaron it all just came up at one point I was like I can't stop it that's super rude and gross my bad a blast of electricity comes out but somehow the ooze parts and avoids it entirely um so that was two actions for its third action it's gonna target Vena you don't gotta do all that give me a moment here alright alright Vena does a 37 hit you a 37 hits me perfect um oh yeah meets it beats it my AC's right at 37 yeah yeah it meets it yeah um you as you stand there the creepers burst out of the ground at an angle towards you and pull you back to the ground uh uh uh , you're going to be immobilized for for right now as they latch around your feet and pull you back into the area oh, oh damn that's its go that's not good for me Oren, you're up so we've established these are spirits, right? they're, they're oddly constructs in that they're like, they're magical spiritual creatures they're like, they're magical spiritual creatures but they're only appearing as incorporeal like they have substance behind behind them yeah uh, Oren uh, he's going to spend one action to maintain flight uh, he's going to spend then two actions to do a fifth level heal on Veena as he points his staff you begin to you've all the wounds begin to bind together he's like, I got you Miss Veena I got you Miss Veena she goes, you're Center he's like, I got you Miss Veena she's like, you're Center again She's like, you're Center I don't actuallyrip to get on well get off you're not going forward get off it's gonna podemos get off hit sign get off hit sign information message information message quote we can manage it It eggs It processing is sealed box Bay come龜 to the they landed on the ground and that's what sort of spawned into these two creatures oh shit okay so the horns are not active okay correct they were like components that summoned these things i understand all right even i'm not gonna kill mama oran but i am gonna try and disconnect her from the tree uh can i attempt a grapple check on mama oran absolutely all right now as a wizard i have never grappled someone before so you gotta help me out here it's an athletics check okay let's rock that's a three on the dice for a 23 that will fail glub glub glub all right maybe before i make a second attempt can i try to use arcana or occultism to perhaps understand the implications of mama oran being uh connected to this tree okay occultism you got it boss uh and for this i'm going to use nanite surge as every constituent nanomachine making up tannhauser's ooze-like form surges to power to try to process this with a 35 on the dice um yeah so you would okay so you would note that oh one sec okay um they're the the two of them are connected in some way um you're you're missing out on visual cues because you no longer see it um but from what you're gathering is is that the rot and whatever it's doing to her is being enabled by a connection so severing that will stop the this this rot effect from doing whatever it's doing all right that is all three of my actions that's who's uh hauser done i will try to disconnect mama mia from the tree on my next turn passing the buck oh yeah and then you take 10 points of fire damage from being on fire and roll me a recovery check you got it you so 14 on the domain on fire okay all right uh hey who uh yeah thirsted you want to give me a four to save my my buddy my pal my friend want to but you moved it up on me fuck me running well you're gonna take 44 points of fire damage from being on fire and roll me a recovery check you got it awesome and i can't effectively move either i'm not done no i know you're not done you are now clumsy too for one minute uh and you're minus 10 feet to your movement speed how high is this fucking dome thurston that you've so wonderfully moved upon me well as we determined it's like we're not doing anything to save ourselves uh you're coming at me you're coming at me ok alright you're not doing anything to save us and we get aомol i think yo i should just gonna give you my my other disparity and i hope you are not going to come back to you when we didn't get your electric knife don't you it's pretty typical of you who you are you're not keeping you up til 5 o'clock when we get right the next button cast and anyway new aud 갑자기 i'm poor in the inside i'm sorry i didn't care about that up when we get everything all right kids you know whats what hard it is you know so uh hey�� the like 20 feet at its center point so it goes up 20 feet but it is now up 10 feet so it's like 30 30 feet um it goes 30 feet up and you're 25 feet up okay oh no i can't do that i can't do that thurston because you see i didn't intend on becoming an ice cube floating in midair well you you look i should have i should have thought about this speaker just really inspired me with like wow you know what's cool debilitating area abilities be glad you're still not trapped in the cage by the way i am see i'm glad i'm not in there thurston see it's okay when i do it but when you do it it's kind of rude yeah yeah yeah this is this is round two of speaker taste your own medicine that'll show me the war the end of the warhams campaign where where the penultimate fight was against speaker's character reskinned cherry on top gotta click the complication button and pick one oh yeah you want to click that button for me oh oh i did i'm looking at it right now okay good perfect yeah whichever one you want you click it and it pops it in chat yeah oh uh-huh i see okay this is good i'm liking i'm liking this i'm liking this i'm liking this i'm liking this i'm liking this i'm liking this i'm liking this i'm liking this i'm liking this i'm liking this i'm liking this i'm liking this i'm liking this and this is not the defeatism what is it okay if you just go by my name version i will terựes oh my good 81 what is it just go by verse one why am i making all this post 이� Schwarzenegger aler your way to kill what part is it i'm not left with it or my street just ready to eventually throw out the Spirit of Evil but on the other hand iorestide you yeah straight the beat man I can't take my feelings no matter what you're watching the defeatism what is it well you see thurston my options that are presented to me are tyler1 lost in the bit or potentially even racism what oh boy pardon me what Hey, you chose them! We're off to the racists! We are- I lack permission to choose. I'm gonna go with Old War Stories. This is a complication by KFdanks, thank you for submitting your complication, by the way. Yeah, you should've clicked it. I don't have permission to click it, Zoran. Oh. That's weird. My bad. Keep going. I don't have permission to do anything, but I do have permission to be sickened for in every combat ever. The player must go off on a tangent that is loosely related to the current situation they are in. If used during combat, the player must spend the remaining actions during their turn resolving this complication. Oh, excellent. That's a good one. I like that one. So you make your save, and then spend all three of your actions You critically fail your save, and now spend all three of your actions telling War Stories. Now, the best part is, if I really wanted to, it specifies that the player does it, not the character. So clearly it's just Hulki rambling about War Stories until he forgets to do his turn. Thurston, have I ever begun to scarcely tell you how much I fucking hate deer? Go on. Here we have a beautiful Sauronan idol, the icon of fecundity, the beauty of nature, Artemis. Something celebrated in civilizations for thousands of years. And here we have them in the modern context, in civilization. Now, sure, they didn't ask to have mankind pave roads through forests and have humans cohabitate with them. No. No. No. No. No. These motherfuckers, for all their survival instincts, really just seem to have some genetic memory as if they're the fucking Kwisatz Haderach that possesses them to put themselves in harm's way, if not explicitly annihilate themselves on motor vehicles. I've never encountered an animal with such an ingrained, deep-baked death drive as fucking deer. These stupid piles of glorified crash meat just amble out onto a motorway and annihilate cars from miles away. They will see them coming. And if they don't stand there, sometimes they'll just run at the cars directly as if this will save them. It's not as if it's just bucks that are doing this because they're more likely to square up a potential adversary and defend themselves. No. All deer just fucking do this. I don't get it. I truly do not fathom... Wait, no, yes I do. I hate koalas more than I hate deer. I understand what animals that are utterly pointless... Oh, no. Hold on. How could I forget? How could I forget about the fucking prion diseases that are transmissible via deer-to-deer contact, which is chronic wasting disease? Hey, do you want to know what it feels like to have your brain be made of Swiss cheese? Do you want to slowly lose sense of all of your identity and what it means to be a person trapped in your own body? Eat some fucking infected deer meat, which, by the way, they can give to each other, and if it touches any surface, you have to, like, turbo disinfect or destroy it because you can't get rid of misfolded proteins aside from the most dire means of sterilization. They're very cute, though. But it doesn't excuse their existence. And this makes me upset. And now I have to reckon with these motherfuckers casting spells of freeze my nipples off in the middle of combat. Oh, but also it grows larger. And they can put me in the cuck chair, in the frozen zone, in the brambles. I'm living in a way something worse than hell because at least in hell there's reprieve from the suffering knowing that it's eternal and there's nothing you can do. But I could do better. But instead, I fucking complicate. And that's your turn. That was Shakespearean. That was beautiful. Do you suffer from esothenia? You may be entitled to financial compensation. Did you know that? It's all wrong right now. Anything else you're doing in your turn? Can you pass it to Veena? Be a champ. I'm so hungry. Veena. I'm sorry, white woman. I am so hungry. Oh, rubs my big crit fishing belly. I do not like that slap. All right. Well, I'm immobilized, so I can't move. I can't do my funny little movement shenanigans, which is really unfortunate. Um. So I'm going to spend my first action trying to hit this deer with a feint. Okay. Get some panache. Get some. Get some buffs. Okay. Somehow that didn't work. Uh. You failed. Why did it still give me panache? I failed spectacularly. Uh, you, you still gained panache on failure because of your thing now. Yeah. Yes. Yes. Because I'm a fencer. You just don't get the other benefits. Ah. Well. That's still nice. Um. And then I'm going to stab into this thing with my second action. Sure. Hwah. Hwah. I, I whiffed that one. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Uh. You had the deception. It would have worked. But on a failure, you do apply your full precise strike damage instead of that. Indeed, I, I still hit him with a little bit of the finisher. Not bad. Just 20 points of damage. A little plink there. Um. It takes 20 points of damage. And then I'm going to spend my last action, uh, I am going to try to escape the immobilized. Yes. Or is that something that just decays? You need an escape check. Okay. Hm. You're not sure. Uh. The escape check. Is that athletics? Uh. Or acrobatics. Your choice. Or acrobatics. I'm acrobatic. And slippery. Ooh. I'll give you a nat 20. Oh. You will. Immobilized is gone. Fast fuck. Uh. Fast fuck Rina. And that's all I can do. So I will end my chapter. Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh. So I will end my turn now. Okay. Hey Hulk are you back? No. He's still getting water I think. He's not back. It's gonna make this even more funny. Oh. First a- sh, what's up? My lights just flickered. No, that was a Poké that was earned though, my lights flickered. Oh no. Another Transformer goes out. I don't know, it's because BG&E's patchwork fix is probably not going to last, but I'm still here for now. Okay. I'm going to, my first action is going to have it sustain the Ice Storm and perfectly center it on Rahula. Okay. Beautiful. Are you a war criminal? No, no, no. The war crime is going to be when Hulki gets back and has to give me a fortitude save. You see, Thurston is an experienced GM. He knows well enough that making your players miserable is a bad idea because they won't have fun. He also knows that because we're live casting this, that's also the funniest thing you can do. Correct. And I care about you, Chet. I care about you. Our suffering is your entertainment. This is what you pay for. That's right. Hi. I'm Hulki. Give me a fortitude save. Oh, also, just so you know, I raised the storm up 10 feet, so now it's perfectly centered on you. That 20. That 20? I'm free. Yay! Yay! Release him. Oh, no, no, no. I've decided you've had it on. I'm free. I'm free. Yay! Yay! Release him. No, no, no. No, no, no. I've decided you've had it on. Oh, oh, oh. To clarify, Hulki, that wasn't the ice storm. That was the petrify spell it was casting. Oorin, I'm so sorry, Oorin, I'm so, so sorry for what I have to do. What are you going to do, Mr. Uhura? Homeland must go. What? The whole place? Oh my god. Domain expansion. Domain expansion. Domain expansion. Domain expansion. Domain expansion. Domain expansion. Domain expansion. Luigi's Mansion. It fails both of its, uh, checks to recover from the acid and fire affecting it. So there's Periton which has, like, been staring at Rahua, trying to, like, turn him into a statue, whilst also raising the ice storm, um...continues to, uh, to, to exist. Baldrick, you're up. Hi. I'm back. Uh, back at it again, with the white bands. I guess I just dropped the empty thing? thing. Yeah, because it's empty. I don't have anything in there. I'm going to take out Bottled Lightning Moderate, because I don't have the greater version, because I have yet to get it, because it's a later thing. And I'm gonna draw and throw it, because I'm not learning anything new, and I still can't see through the fucking fog. This one is going to be a sticky bomb, and it better hit. I'm gonna do it. It missed! Because it rolled a two. You could take a pity point if you want. I'm gonna take this opportunity to get a lot closer. Okay. I can move 50 to there. Yes, yes. Aim your red beam at me, you infernal sky horse chicken fish. The red beam is you targeting it. That's what the beam is. Oh, okay. Because I was seeing a red beam, and I was like, I don't care that you're pointing a handgun at me, horse. Our autocam, it, sometimes it breaks, but, like, when you target something, it does a red beam, and then it should pan, but, you know, it's doing its thing. It's okay. I'm closer now. End my turn. Okay. Well, the next one is gonna go. Can it make, like, an oblivion guard and lie down and bleed to death? No. You are so annoyingly positioned right now, though. Yeah. One sec. Oh, this is fine. It's gonna back up. Reactive strike! Yeah. Is anyone reactive striking yet? Oh, yeah. I got that. That's the bounty you had. No, Tim hasn't forgot how to reactive strike when he became a wizard. That's right. Okay. Oh, lost connection for a second. There we go. Alright. Do it, Vena. Do it, Vena. Get hit. I'll give you a 37 to hit. A little damage. Damage. Not a ton. Well, actually, that's really good. Three sixes and a five. That's really good. It backs up and you stab it. It's head lowers. It seems to shake its head. And then its eyes look up black as night. Not rotten, but like a cold, crisp night. And it is casting a spell, which, one sec here. It's going to put down. Oh, are you fucking kidding me? No way. It's going to put down a burst. That was from Hulky. Texting you back with yee. When did you send that? Just now. Why? Because I was being polite and responsible. Why? Because I was responding to your message. Because you thanked me. I'm right here. I'm not going to say like Erdo. What, Hulky? Yee. That would be funny, though. That was also funny. That was also funny. It was also highly disruptive. Everyone who isn't Orin. Everyone who isn't Orin. Give me a reflex save. How far is this out? Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, it is a 60 foot burst than it can cast up to 500 feet. What the fuck? Nat 28, I'm a genius. Thirty-six. Wait, how does that work? 60-foot bust it can cast 500 feet? Yeah. As in, it places a 60-foot burst anywhere in 500 feet of it. Oh, you, you just finagled it! I'm going to throw stones at you. I'll blow you up with dynamite. I am going to come in. There you go, turn things on. uh-huh yeah uh-huh uh-huh i'm crawling on my hands and knees i'm crying i know i just went on a horrible hate screen against all beer last turd do you have any pity points i'm kind of homeless right now yeah you know considering you're in like the fucking negative cold zone you need you need you need a fucking pity point i'll give it to you take the complication roll okay okay bro is in the eye of three aoe's yes adjacent to a fourth if they could move that it would be really fucked up oh that's pretty good that's a success that's a success i got a 29 on mine i was waiting for a pity point are you happy with that i'm fine because hulky is being enough of a mewling little baby that i don't need to do that okay god okay brutal ooze hauser and um vina you are unaffected i gurgle approvingly okay baldrick you're gonna take 68 points of damage whatever um 49 of it is cold 19 of his void um and who uh you'll take half of that the thing i have a lot of health um as what you see occur and it like auran you are probably the one person who gets like the view of this as everyone else's isn't it um there's a globe of freezing darkness that just suddenly explodes from within the vicinity of 된folio bay celt República Arizona in the posterior aussie something lucky you immediately chapter and like there's a barley in victory lane so long as the secretary of emergency comes back it is important to find these wilderness celtics as the ten main details of the oldsl opposites are half bitter um the spores r reuse iron��를 spicy vestibular doin moose vicinity of the central area, it bursts out, like, searing the flesh off of creatures while freezing it at the same time. If any of you had any magical lights in the area, they would be immediately, like, dispelled. Luckily, there's light coming up from above here, so good job. It snuffs out the moon, just . Uh-oh. And that's that thing's go. Orin, you're up. Cool. Cool. Get to react to all this. All right. All right. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. It's been an action to maintain some flight. It's probably good, yep. I can't do a reach thing to get Ruhua. I think I need to contribute in some other way. As I maintain the fly, I basically can just do it by just doing a fly move. I'm going to fly pretty much to the top right, kind of, like, in front of it, to pretty much just, like, get some range away, so he can't get caught in things a lot easier. As he spins that, actually, he has two actions left, in which he's going to clap his hands and go, Krakatoa! And he's rolling a reflex save as I cast a seventh-rank Thunderstrike, as it goes. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oozehauser, what are you up to? Uh, well, I think right now I'm gonna be on fire. Which sucks. But, you know, I think I think there's something spicy we can do here. And what that spicy thing is, is I would like to attempt to rent free Oren's mother from this tree with all of my might. Okay, give me an athletics check. Alright, this is what makes sense to me. Um, I'm gonna really quickly check because I did recently get a new lovely, lovely feat. Um, something along the lines of goodness, I'm so sorry. Uh, it's an ancestry feat. Consistent surge. Which allows me to use it once every ten minutes, which does not include right now, so never mind, it doesn't matter. I'm rolling the roll right now! You completely have cut out. Podcast, but you're probably gonna hear what he's saying. For us. It went out a little bit. Man. Well, he rolled a dice. I don't know what happened. Man, this stuff is cursed. This is gonna be annoying to edit. Oh, God. I'm so sorry, dude. Holy fuck. Poor bastard. Oh, God. Kill me. If it makes you feel any better. I failed. Can I try again? Yes. I'm gonna try again. Do I have to wait and is it one action to try this? Yes. That's an eight. Twenty-eight. Oh. Hey, speaker, I wanna ask, what were you doing? Because it cut out entirely and we just saw you roll a die for an athletics check. Oh, my God. I'm gonna splooge. Okay. Here's what happened. I was going to say, oh, well, maybe I can use my nanite surge because I'm... I got a feat called consistent surge, but it's once every ten minutes. Yes. So I can't. So. Uh-oh. All right. Oh, I can I try a third time? A fuck at this point? Sure. Thank you kindly, Thurston. Been doing it on the die. Didn't one hit. That's a thirty five. I got some bad news, though. Oh, no. Awesome. Awesome. You do essentially take a multiple attack penalty for this. So actually twenty five. Woo. Catch you guys next turn. Oh. You want to click that recovery test as you take some points of fire damage? Yeah. That's one. Yeah. Yeah. Good job. All right. That's why it ain't in a kick in the head. Hey, Rahula. Hey, Rahula. Oh, my. My favorite little guy who's floating in the middle of an ice storm. You're clumsy, too. So that's going to give you an extra minus two in your reflex save. Can you give me a reflex save, brother, please? I don't. I don't know if there's any way I can succeed this. This. Oh, I saw a nineteen. But the result is nineteen. Oh, wow. That's awesome. I don't got no points left in my tank. Oh, yeah. That's to my complication from last turn. I might die here. Well, it's. Oh. Got some bad news for you, buddy. Oh. We're getting a lot of that lately. It's interesting. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Interesting. It said that's another crit. Fail. Oh, it's going to take sixty four points of cold damage. Okay. For those of you not able to view the screen, a hooker is currently sitting at nine out of one hundred and seventy nine. um but you get your actions now my dog yay awesome what are you gonna do buddy what are you gonna do i'm gonna fucking heal myself thirst and i don't want to die that's fair it's fair i don't have enough speed to leave this fog no you can you can only fly 15 feet of movement that's awesome why can't why can he only fly 15 because he's minus 10 because of the effect of the fog which um is on him because he's clumsy as a result of the fog he actually you know it's on him just has it um he's at minus 10 to his movement i see and if you don't spin a turn you fall yeah so he kind of has to do one move so i guess we're just gonna move a little a little bit further you know you could yeah you could that's it's 15 right that's the flag yeah yeah so so so you think i thought i was slowed by 10 twice no no no no just once because you're out of the creeper vines now because you're flying up basically you can move three squares you can move 15 not 20. yeah you can move there yeah yeah can he yeah he can move he was here uh yeah no he can go oh no actually wait double the double diagonal oh right you'd have to go you'd have to go there there but you can go to one of those two that's healthy that's 10. that's 15. that's 15. there you go there you go cool oh boy shell shocked i am shell shocked all right then you want to heal yourself yeah i would love to cool i'm gonna roll it myself you know for fun it's true that's fair to use one of my healing fonts i'm going to heal myself this many let's see what happens hey six seven die don't give him that yeah six seven is attacking us all back i will remember this i will remember don't forget anything i gotta take my wins somewhere it's not here right now evidently winston winston winston you want to pass it to vina well don't i have to resolve my complication from last turn wasn't your complication from last turn you spent the entire turn talking i took a pity point from you last turn oh that's right yeah please tell me your complication absolutely my complication provided by wandering discipline is titled it's all a misunderstanding your core word choice lack of cultural knowledge or just plain old language barriers you have effectively miscommunicated your intentions Your intentions congratulations work with your gm to decide what the other party believes they heard who knows maybe you'll fight get a white fight of the deal or a mortal enemy they're always fun perhaps even out an embarrassing side of yourself party members gm decided what checks if any are appropriate for resolving the complication or complications and whether or not they are resolvable party members feel free to tease each other over these misunderstandings i imagine i imagine that Rahua comes out of the ice storm. The only one who can really hear or see him from the angles we have now established are Baldrick and Oozehauser. And Oozehauser can't see Rahua, but can hear Rahua. Rahua, what is it you say when you emerge that is a cause for confusion? Amongst your allies. Fucking deer. Fucking deer. Fuck. I think he wants the fuck deer, guys. Gotta get out of here. That's really fucked up. Deer fucker. No! No, that's not what I said! That's such a genuine no. The deer in your voice was like, no, no. It was so real. Fuck. It's not what I'm thinking. I'm dying! And I'm cold. I don't fuck deer. They're gonna get fucked. Not in that way. Not in that way. I'm going to kill them. I didn't know you could do that kind of thing. I don't. I'm not a sexual creature. I need you guys to lock in and kill these things. I'm trying! I'm dying! You want to pass the turn to Veena now to actually, you know. Guys, I am so hungry. Oh, you're so cruel, Thurston. Ah, Veena. Help. Veena. Oh, poor Ro. Clumsy one. The clumsy one. That's me. All right. I'm gonna move here. I'm gonna target. I'm gonna fight. Oh, no. That is the wrong button. I believe in you. I don't believe in you. That's a critical failure. You are now off guard against this thing. Oh. Oh. Oh, the misery. The highs have never been higher and the lows have never been lower. You know, this all rewinds to, like, last session when you were fucking, like, dunking on those slits. You were like, ah, our dice are so powerful. It all comes back around. It all comes back around. We've been getting some good 20s here and there. You have, you have. It's just we've only been getting them on things that don't matter. Which is beautiful. Well, or just not taking damage. You're doing damage is the tricky part. The one you guys are fighting is half dead. I'm still chucking grenades at this one over here. It's true. Um. I'll be honest. I don't. I'm just gonna stab it. That was really embarrassing. That's worse. Hey, Veena. That's a nice natural one you got there. I'm so hungry. We wasted all the 20s yesterday. Or last episode. We wasted them all. We wasted literally all of them. Veena's back! Veena's back, baby! Um. Oh, here's a really good one. This one is from Karlawski. And the complication name is My Body's Had Enough. Upon a critical failure of any athletic, acrobatic, crafting, attacking, spellcasting, or any other strenuous activity, the body of the player simply gives up and collapses onto the floor like a wet noodle. Whether it is out of exhaustion, illness, or whatever caused the body's simply refuses to cooperate. I'll mark you as prone. If you, too, want to make people wet noodles, patreon.com. That's the end of your turn, Veena. Thank you. Yeah, that's my only actions. I ragdoll and end my turn. ... Got the other ferret now. This would be really mean. I'm gonna do it. Came back just in time. Right there. I think... Well, actually, do I want to do that? No, you know what, I've got to spread this around a bit. You know, I can't be that monstrous. So, let's see. Where's the guy? For podcast people, so you're not stuck in silence. I'm doing another giant template. I'm doing the second cast of that bullshit spell, and this time I'm gonna get Tannhauser, Rahua, and Baldrick. So... All right. If all of y'all could, uh... ... If all of y'all could give me the reflex save now, that would be great. All right, here's my reflex. That's a 3, so that's 25. Okay. Are you kidding me? Oh, no! Thurston... Uh-oh. I got a 25. Hey, guys, how many pity points do I have left? You got two. Look, I have... Let's see. 96, and you have... Who here wants to tank the crit? Because you all critically fail. Wait, we all critically fail? Yeah. Whatever. I didn't say I critically... Oh, shit. I got the most health. Hit me with it. I got 96 hit points. Are you sure about that? Dude! You are going to die. Oh, God. You are in most danger at this juncture. I need... I need you to read the critical fail portion of that spell. I know. Uh-huh. It's bad. It's really bad. It's very bad, but they are about to kill the other one. I haven't done squat to him, basically. I came in here to get blasted twice by an AoE. Actually, wait. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I don't want to metagame this, but... I will say, technically, out of all of you, because, audio listeners, the critical fail means you are permanently blinded. Um... For the spell name, it's Eclipse Burst. Yes. But, technically, the one amongst you who doesn't care about eyesight right now is Tannhauser. You could be Tannhauser in the three-day blindings, too. That is true. Well, it's unlimited, so we have to figure out how to get it off later. Again, and I do stress this as well... The potential for 160 max damage... I... You guys are going to take well in excess if it's bad. I will merely be knocked down to dying one, probably. Oh, you are quite a ways away. Fuck. Dude, it's the best we have. I'm not worried about the blindness. If I get knocked down, that's the price we pay for apparently still not being spread. I have 65 feet away from you, and I'm still getting hit by AoEs hitting you. This is madness. If you were five feet closer... If I was five feet further away, I wouldn't have to worry about this shit. High-level game is so much fun, y'all. You should try it sometime. I don't want to play this game ever again after this. Alright. You guys take the pities and try to survive. I'll just have to eat it and hope I don't die. Tannhauser, take the pity. I will take the pity. My complication is from E. Detsetera Crustacean Salvation. As the player narrowly avoids their RNG-induced blunder, they lock eyes with a crayfish that had seemingly gone unnoticed until now. The player is convinced that Crustacean before them had some part in salvaging their dire situation. It's especially funny because I don't have eyes right now. Somehow you see the Crodatimus in the rot. You see it. Oh. Crocatimus is real? Give me your re-roll. Because this could still theoretically murder blast you. Oh no. Okay, you're good. 32. Okay. So that's one of the worst things you could have rolled. Because it's above the plus 10 threshold, so you're still failing but you're not crit-failing. You're not Rahua. I have a complication. Let me scroll back down because I had to find a new one. Hold on. Wait, I'm old. This complication is... Chat, I'm having fun. Oh, I'm sure you are, bud. I'm sure you are. We'll remember this. No we won't. Thurston, diametrically, just a single notch. No, he's gleeful! This is the DM's privilege! He's allowed to seek pleasure in our suffering! Only evil DMs enjoy blasting their players! He's evil! All DMs enjoy blasting their players. I don't! You should. He's evil, I'm evil, we're all evil! And I bet you're evil too. What's your complication? My complication is from Korra. My complication is Anarchy! Anarchy, the great primordial chaos of the universe makes light of your failure in a bizarre way. This may manifest as a detrimental spell's effect or a strange twist in reality that causes a bizarre and humiliating effect. Okay, I know exactly what's going to happen. Reroll the save. Okay, I'm rerolling the save. Yep. Opening it in the lower instead of the upper. Hold on, there we go. Wow. Better. That was actually the lowest you could roll to get a success. Thurston, I'm starting to think I'm starting to think that Go ahead, go ahead. The twist of fate I'm putting you in the cuck chair. You fucking asshole! Not the cuck chair! I have teleported. I have teleported you within the cage that has been staying in this cuck since round two. Thurston. Yes? Can I propose- Can I posit an impasse? Can I propose to you? If you're already humiliating me by putting me in the cuck chair can you at least put Rahu in a Mutton King costume too? Yes, deal. Done. You appear there with the Mutton King hat on. Yay! Yay! Alright. Well, I'm gonna roll damage and see how bad this actually is. Okay. Oh boy. Here we go. Blast him. The one where Thurston won. 69 points. Nice! Okay. So let me see here. I'm sorry. So I'm gonna take 138 damage. Oh! I'm down. Oh! And as... As... As... As the Paraton casts the second eclipse burst on the field and at the end of it Rahu is still in a blizzard trapped inside a field with the creepy vines because I've also teleported you to crap. I'm gonna go down for it. Technically, actually, you're out of the cold right now. So that's a benefit. I'll remember that for next time. And... And Oozehouser is like frozen and brittle and almost breaking apart. Auryn and Veena, you're outside. You're kind of blissfully unaware of all of this. And as we see the combat taking a dramatic turn meanwhile, out of... Oh god. Out of line of sight of everyone now is Baldrick. Is Baldrick. Everyone can see that Baldrick goes down on the opposite end of these various effects and as Baldrick is blasted unexpectedly and sent into unconsciousness and Rahu is anarchically transposed within the sort of strange invisible prison that one of the Paratons called earlier. That is gonna be where we call tonight's episode. Oh my god. Oh boy. Don't worry guys, I set them up real good for you. He's taken like maybe a quarter of his hit points. Yay! Of course, we'll see if we can win and survive and save Auryn's mom next time on Rockcrime. Thank you guys so much for watching. See you guys next time. Patreon.com forward slash narrative declaration and narrativedeclaration.com if you want to help us out and keep us going. Thank you guys so much and goodbye! Bye! Bye! The suffering.