Latest / Dear Chelsea / Terrible Roommates: featuring Chelsea's Ex-Roommate Colleen Siragusa

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Terrible Roommates: featuring Chelsea's Ex-Roommate Colleen Siragusa · Dear Chelsea

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Oh hello everybody. Hi, Hi Katherine, Hi, how are you Chelsea? Well,
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: I'm we're gonna get started right away today with our
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: very special guests because she has a lot to say,
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: she has a lot on her mind. This has been
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: a very very long time in the making. She has
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: had a long time to reflect on our relationship. This
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: is a non traditional guest. I'm going to introduce her
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: with the intro that she gave me, which is she
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: is a wife, a mother of two, and a survivor
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: of living with Chelsea Handler. Her name is Colleen Saragosa
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: and she was my roommate in Brentwood on Barrington six
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: or five South Barrington. Whoa yep, yea for I don't
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: know how many years do we live together. We lived
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: together for three okay, three years we lived together. I
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: was in my early mid twenties. I was twenty three
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: to twenty six, so you're a little younger than so
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: I must have been. Well, maybe I was like nineteen
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: to twenty one. In my book I wrote that you
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: were a twenty eight year old virgin? Was that a lie?
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: Let's just jump right in. Okay, Hi to Colleen Saragosa.
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: Hi college, Oh my god, Colleen and I were texting
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: the other day. I said, you know, it would be funny.
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: You should come on my podcast and you can tell
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: all the horror stories about what it was like to
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: live with me. And She's like, I would love nothing more.
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: I'm ready, I'm ready. I'm finally ready. I've had twenty
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: years to digest what it was like to be attached
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: to you for three years and she's just coming out
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: of the fog and wait. So but back off to
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: the most recent time I ran into you, which was
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: like four or five years ago. Four years ago, okay,
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: four years ago. I was in Brentwood, at the top
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: of Brentwood. You were in Starbucks and I was walking
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: my little girl, she was what two at the time
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: I was walking and we haven't seen each other. We
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: mind you. I'll get into the story because I'm sure
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: everyone wants to know the story of Chelsea and how
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: I survived living with her, because it wasn't an easy feat.
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: I needed tons of therapy after that. But anyway, we
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: hadn't seen each other in seventeen years. I harbored a
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: lot of bad feelings towards her. I'm also known as
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: dumb Dumb dumb dumb in my book My Horizontal Life, Yes,
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: my Horizontal Life. I wrote a book and I talked
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: about someone I named her dumb dumb and that was
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: named after I can laugh about it now, I can.
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: I can. I I was upset for so many years
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: and I actually asked a mutual friend of ours and
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: I went to her in tears and I said, in
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: my dumb dumb I need to know, and she said yes,
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: and I was just like wow, Wow, I was so mad.
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: I was so mad, and it's taken a lot of
• 2:45
  Speaker 1: time and and I'm a different person now. And anyway,
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: fast forward to a few years ago. I ran into
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: her at Starbucks and I walked past her and I'm like, oh,
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: there's Chelsea. Do I stop? Do I stop and say anything?
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: And I'm like, no, don't. So I walked past her,
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: and then on the way back, I was like, you
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: know what I'm gonna I'm gonna stop. And I stopped
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: and I said hi, and she stood up and she
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: hugged me hm and and she had tears in her eyes. Sorry,
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: I'm emotional all the time, all the time. It's very
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: welcome here, and it was it was why it was
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: so hard to live together because she's always emotional and
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: I have no emotion. And she made me cry all
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: the time. All the time. I was the butt of
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: every joke. Yes, so anyway, I she hugged me and
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: she said, can you sit down for a second. I
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: said sure, So we sat down and and um, I said,
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: am I dumb? Dumb? And she said yes you are?
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: Are you pissed? And I was like, I've been pissed
• 3:47
  Speaker 1: for a really long time, but you know I'm over it.
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: I'm over it now. And um, she said, I was
• 3:53
  Speaker 1: a real bitch to you, wasn't I? And I said, yes,
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: you were, and she said I'm sorry. And that was
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: the first time I was like, wow, I think Chelsea
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: has changed. I think Chelsea has gotten a lot of therapy.
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: And I really felt that she was sorry for the
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: hell that she put me through for those three years
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: because it was it was. Man. I want to meet
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: Joe Koy. I want to shake his hands, because the
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: man I can put up with her bullshit deserves a
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: freaking metal. Let me just say, first of all, he's adorable,
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: he's funny. The two of you together are on fire,
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: and I I am so happy for you. Because you
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: have found what is most important in this world, and um,
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: and it is. I mean, I'm married, I have a family.
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: It's totally changed who I am and made me see
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: what's important in life. And um, yeah, we have lots
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: of stories to share. When we got together, so we
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: waited tables together at a couple of places, at Judy's,
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: Daly and on muscowna what establishment that I was fired
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: from when we found out he was basically stealing from us.
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: Remember we were getting paid, we were getting paid under
• 5:11
  Speaker 1: the table. And then on top of that, I called
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: and I reported him so that he had to legally
• 5:16
  Speaker 1: pay us, but he would pay us and make us
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: reimburse him for the payment that he would give us
• 5:21
  Speaker 1: because he thought we were making too much money at
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: a restaurants. The worst part is is that he ended
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: up thinking we were stealing from him, so he put
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: cameras up all around the restaurant and he was videotaping us.
• 5:33
  Speaker 1: And I just remember Chelsea one day just she was
• 5:36
  Speaker 1: so pissed that the cameras were up and she just
• 5:38
  Speaker 1: went flipping the birds of the camera and she just left.
• 5:43
  Speaker 1: That was it. So we ended up moving because I
• 5:46
  Speaker 1: ended up leaving too, and I found a place in
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: the Palisades, Pacific Palisades, not a place to live. We
• 5:52
  Speaker 1: lived in brent but she found a job in the
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: Pacific Palisades. And then you brought me to that judge.
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: By the way, I lived in Brentwood for years, is
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: in that apartment. My husband had to drag me out
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: because I love that apartment so much, the same apartment
• 6:07
  Speaker 1: that she and I, Colleen and I lived in when
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: I we were in our early twenties. I didn't realize
• 6:11
  Speaker 1: you were twenty three through six, so I must have
• 6:13
  Speaker 1: been yeah, twenty to twenty three because we were super young,
• 6:18
  Speaker 1: young and I was younger than you. Okay, so anyway,
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: we we So then we got a job in the Palisades.
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: We worked at that together. So when we ran into
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: each other four years ago, I was like, what are
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: you doing here? And she's like, I still live in
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: the apartment that we lived and I go, what if
• 6:33
  Speaker 1: I hadn't met my husband, I would be there till
• 6:36
  Speaker 1: I die because I loved that apartment so much. I
• 6:40
  Speaker 1: mean it is it was like Melrose Place to me.
• 6:42
  Speaker 1: I I it was awesome. And she's like, my daughter
• 6:45
  Speaker 1: lives in your room. I'm like, shut the fuck up.
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: She's like, yes, my daughter lives in her room in
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: your room, and my husband and I still live in
• 6:54
  Speaker 1: that apartment. I could not wrap my head around that.
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: I'm like, I cannot believe you're still there. I know
• 6:59
  Speaker 1: it was awesome. I'm glad that you moved out, though,
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: because that was you know, that is very you to
• 7:04
  Speaker 1: stick with something for years. Well, that's the thing I do.
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: I get very comfortable. And I mean I waited tables
• 7:09
  Speaker 1: at the same place in the Palisades for fifteen years.
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: I mean I loved it. I mean it was a
• 7:14
  Speaker 1: great job. I mean I was a struggling actress, but
• 7:17
  Speaker 1: I that's what I did for my living. I waited tables.
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: But it was more than just that. It was I
• 7:22
  Speaker 1: met so many people there that just made my life
• 7:25
  Speaker 1: so happy, and it was it was awesome. She, on
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: the other hand, is the worst waitress of all time,
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: of all time, and I got her the job there,
• 7:34
  Speaker 1: and so she started working there. But she would, I
• 7:37
  Speaker 1: mean her and I would be the only waitresses there,
• 7:40
  Speaker 1: and she would go up to people. This is I'm
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: going to tell a story, a true story. Someone ordered
• 7:44
  Speaker 1: something they called her over they were they had a
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: problem with it, they didn't like and she goes, too
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: fucking bad, you ordered it, eat it, and walked away.
• 7:53
  Speaker 1: And I was like, oh my god, so I'm the
• 7:56
  Speaker 1: one that had to go, and you know, I'm so sorry.
• 7:59
  Speaker 1: And Coleen was like the best waitress of all time,
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: Like she was in a fucking great mood. Every customer
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: wanted to sit in her section. Everyone who come in
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: and would see her, they'd be like, oh my god, Calle,
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: it's here. I'd be like, great, you fucking take everybody.
• 8:13
  Speaker 1: They all fucking love you. I'll just run the food out,
• 8:17
  Speaker 1: but I have to tell you. And I was trying
• 8:19
  Speaker 1: to find it because it was so funny. Terry, the owner,
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: actually gave me a letter that was given to her
• 8:26
  Speaker 1: by a customer, and I'm telling you, it was like
• 8:30
  Speaker 1: three pages long about the service that she got from
• 8:33
  Speaker 1: Chelsea anyway. It was awful. And Terry was like, look,
• 8:40
  Speaker 1: I know that you you sometimes and I wasn't even
• 8:43
  Speaker 1: in contact with you at this time, but she was like,
• 8:44
  Speaker 1: I think that you probably would like to hold onto this.
• 8:47
  Speaker 1: And it got lost in the shuffles some It's somewhere.
• 8:50
  Speaker 1: I'll find it, but it is unbelievable the service that
• 8:53
  Speaker 1: you gave, how terrible it is, how you should never
• 8:55
  Speaker 1: be allowed to set foot in this restaurant. And I
• 8:58
  Speaker 1: was like, wow, I mean you were just bad. I
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: had no interest in waiting tables. It was simply a
• 9:04
  Speaker 1: means to an end until I could support myself in
• 9:07
  Speaker 1: other ways. Yeah. Yeah, I mean as soon as she
• 9:10
  Speaker 1: got her first development deal, she was like, I'm done.
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: I will never wait tables again. As soon as I
• 9:16
  Speaker 1: got my first, like the smallest thing, like I got
• 9:18
  Speaker 1: a guest star role on the Practice, and I I
• 9:21
  Speaker 1: just thought, because I didn't know anything about how much
• 9:23
  Speaker 1: money you'd make, I was like, oh, I'll just retire,
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: like this is it, Like I'm now going to be
• 9:28
  Speaker 1: a successful person. And then I realized, oh, it's like
• 9:31
  Speaker 1: ten thousand dollars, you know, for the year. And I'm like, oh, well,
• 9:35
  Speaker 1: wait a second, I'm gonna need to supplement this with
• 9:37
  Speaker 1: some other stuff. But in the beginning, you're like, oh,
• 9:40
  Speaker 1: I got a job, I could quit everything. But anyway,
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: so okay. So we moved in together, and Colleen, who
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: I described in my I was very much fast and loose.
• 9:50
  Speaker 1: I was out and about meeting men hooking up left
• 9:53
  Speaker 1: and right, and Colleen was putting on her pajamas at
• 9:56
  Speaker 1: eight o'clock. Well, first she puts on her bad Bath
• 9:58
  Speaker 1: and Body Works lotion for an hour and a half.
• 10:01
  Speaker 1: She's the one who tap to lubricate. I've never seen
• 10:05
  Speaker 1: anyone lubricate as much as this girl. She has never
• 10:09
  Speaker 1: had an ounce of dry skin. Well but maybe after
• 10:13
  Speaker 1: a baby, but not before she would put on Bath
• 10:15
  Speaker 1: and Body Works lotion. She would go. Plumria was one
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: of her favorites. Remember that because I remember all the
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: sense because I still the shower because of you. I
• 10:26
  Speaker 1: used the Pair one because they come out with new
• 10:28
  Speaker 1: flavors all the time, you know, so some of them
• 10:30
  Speaker 1: are superior to the previous ones. Plumya, I remember this.
• 10:34
  Speaker 1: And she would just and she had these long French
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: manicured nails, and she would sit on the couch and
• 10:38
  Speaker 1: she loved her shows. She just wanted to She just
• 10:41
  Speaker 1: wanted to like come home and snuggle, you know, with herself. Basically.
• 10:45
  Speaker 1: I mean she wanted to meet a guy, because you
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: had crushes on various people. But I didn't go out.
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: I was like a herm. I loved being home. I'm
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: a homebody, and I just loved the apartment. I love,
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: I loved it. And she loved activities, like she liked
• 10:56
  Speaker 1: to get her nails done, she liked to go to work,
• 10:58
  Speaker 1: like she was very bounced see about all the things
• 11:01
  Speaker 1: that she had going on, you know, But all of
• 11:03
  Speaker 1: those things were interests that I never had. You know.
• 11:06
  Speaker 1: I wasn't looping up at night with lotion. I remember
• 11:09
  Speaker 1: the smells that stayed with me forever. But I would
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: always be like, don't you want to go out, like,
• 11:12
  Speaker 1: let's go meet people, And she'd like, she just didn't
• 11:15
  Speaker 1: want to write, Yeah, that's just not your person. I
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: just didn't want to go out. I mean I didn't
• 11:19
  Speaker 1: want to go. I didn't want to leave you apart.
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: We go to CPK to get our I still go
• 11:23
  Speaker 1: to my daughter's restaurant. We go every Sunday night to
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: c p K. What do you order? No? No, I
• 11:33
  Speaker 1: mean I'm want to strict. We'll get into that, but
• 11:36
  Speaker 1: I mean I'm really strict with my diet. So I word,
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: it's a vegetable plate with with shrimp and with vegetables. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
• 11:46
  Speaker 1: it's really but yeah, CPK is one of my favorites
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: and then tanning, you'd go to I did. I don't
• 11:51
  Speaker 1: do that anymore because you know, yeah, well I don't
• 11:54
  Speaker 1: do that anymore that anymore. But I love the sun.
• 11:57
  Speaker 1: So we have a beautiful pool and I would be
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: out there while she was parading in men into the
• 12:03
  Speaker 1: apartmental I'd be like hi, and She's like, there's my roommate,
• 12:06
  Speaker 1: you know. And I'd call her a virgin all the
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: time because she was one at a later age than
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: I was one, and I just couldn't understand I'm still
• 12:15
  Speaker 1: a virgin. She I couldn't understand how she didn't want
• 12:18
  Speaker 1: to get some penetration. I was like, Colleen, let's go,
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: let's get the show on the road. She kept trying
• 12:24
  Speaker 1: to get me to go out and everything. But I just,
• 12:26
  Speaker 1: you know, I just I was very naive. I was
• 12:28
  Speaker 1: very young, twenty three year old, very young and naive,
• 12:32
  Speaker 1: and I was the butt of a lot of jokes
• 12:34
  Speaker 1: and it it did wear on me, but you know,
• 12:37
  Speaker 1: I got through it. But yeah, Chelsea and I, I
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: mean we um. Do you remember when we went shopping
• 12:42
  Speaker 1: for our couches together? Okay, so Chelsea and I decided
• 12:47
  Speaker 1: that we would go shopping and each get our own
• 12:49
  Speaker 1: couch because we love to watch shows together. We'd watch friends. Yeah,
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: so we got our own couch. And she had no money.
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: I mean she would she would ask her sisters for money.
• 12:58
  Speaker 1: She would call and be like, I put money in
• 13:01
  Speaker 1: my account. I'm completely broke. And I was like, well,
• 13:04
  Speaker 1: we need sofas. So I got a credit card. I
• 13:07
  Speaker 1: opened a credit card, and every month on the refrigerator
• 13:10
  Speaker 1: I had how much she owed me, and she would
• 13:12
  Speaker 1: pay me pay me back. But we would fight constantly.
• 13:15
  Speaker 1: We would get into drag out whole hair pinch id
• 13:19
  Speaker 1: like to pinch on the floor in our apartment, rolling
• 13:23
  Speaker 1: around pulling hair. I mean kind of stuff are you
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: fighting about? Like what? Like what? She would to vide
• 13:29
  Speaker 1: the bill? She would like, give me, well, it wasn't
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: just that bill, because there was other bills, right. She
• 13:33
  Speaker 1: would divide the bills like if there we split anything,
• 13:35
  Speaker 1: and she would divide it down exactly to a t.
• 13:38
  Speaker 1: So it would be like so and so in like
• 13:39
  Speaker 1: twenty eight cents, and I'd be like, oh my god, Colin,
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: can you just round it to a certain number. But anyway,
• 13:44
  Speaker 1: go on with your version. Well wait. We would just
• 13:46
  Speaker 1: fight about anything about everything, and probably because she was
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: making fun of me and I would get upset and
• 13:51
  Speaker 1: I started to sit and I was super sensitive and
• 13:53
  Speaker 1: then when I start to cry, you're gonna she would
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: do that to me and it would it would really like.
• 14:02
  Speaker 1: So Chelsea is super handy. I mean, she decided that
• 14:05
  Speaker 1: in her bedroom she needed a desk for you know,
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: we had those computers with the big monitors and everything,
• 14:11
  Speaker 1: and so she was when desktops first came out. So
• 14:14
  Speaker 1: she was like, I'm going to Ikea and I'm gonna
• 14:16
  Speaker 1: get myself a desk and I'm gonna put it together.
• 14:19
  Speaker 1: And she did and she came back with this desk.
• 14:21
  Speaker 1: Then she was like, it's going to be done tonight,
• 14:23
  Speaker 1: and like a week later she was still on the
• 14:26
  Speaker 1: floor putting like I mean, she hit. It was funny.
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: It was funny because, yeah, it took forever for her
• 14:34
  Speaker 1: to put that together. Do you remember that. I do
• 14:36
  Speaker 1: remember my desk because I remember that was the first
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: email account that I ever got, was when we were
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: living there. It's still my email address, it's my original
• 14:44
  Speaker 1: email address. It's causing me a lot of problems quite frankly,
• 14:47
  Speaker 1: because well is a ship show and it's the server
• 14:50
  Speaker 1: never works, So I have some other email addresses, but
• 14:52
  Speaker 1: that's my primary email address. But we lived in this
• 14:56
  Speaker 1: right in this kind of like Melrose Placy type place,
• 14:59
  Speaker 1: so we would hang out a lot, like we go
• 15:01
  Speaker 1: to launch or we go to dinner. We worked together,
• 15:04
  Speaker 1: so we were basically like you know, operating as sisters
• 15:07
  Speaker 1: because we were fighting all the time, but also together
• 15:10
  Speaker 1: all the time, right, Like we would fight and then
• 15:13
  Speaker 1: be like, let's go to the movies, you know, and
• 15:15
  Speaker 1: then but wait, something I would like to do is
• 15:18
  Speaker 1: I'd like to read those Chicken Soup for the Soul books.
• 15:21
  Speaker 1: And Chelsea would be on her couch and I would
• 15:23
  Speaker 1: be on mine, and I would read her chapters of
• 15:27
  Speaker 1: the book and we would just I mean, it was
• 15:29
  Speaker 1: like a really nice bonding time. But I remember, do
• 15:32
  Speaker 1: you remember we had dinner with Terry and a lot
• 15:35
  Speaker 1: of people from the restaurant one night, and I mentioned
• 15:37
  Speaker 1: that I was reading Chicken Soup for the Soul to
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: you one night and the ones that the one lady said,
• 15:42
  Speaker 1: it's so nice that to do that as a as
• 15:45
  Speaker 1: a couple, like she totally thought we were a couple,
• 15:47
  Speaker 1: And Chelsea's face was like, no, no, we're not together,
• 15:52
  Speaker 1: we're not there. Yeah, yeah, but it was so funny.
• 15:55
  Speaker 1: But yeah, I mean we would do stuff like that. Honestly,
• 15:59
  Speaker 1: it just was I was like, you know, the demon
• 16:04
  Speaker 1: and she was the wholesome one. I was the demon
• 16:07
  Speaker 1: child like crazy was like. And we and then she
• 16:11
  Speaker 1: had a crush on a guy that would come to
• 16:12
  Speaker 1: the restaurant, and we were all about it, like we
• 16:15
  Speaker 1: just wanted this to happen for her, right, we wanted
• 16:18
  Speaker 1: this to come to Fruition because she had It was
• 16:20
  Speaker 1: years that you had a crush on him, the soap
• 16:23
  Speaker 1: opera star. Okay, I I hope he never ever listens
• 16:27
  Speaker 1: to this, but we're not going to mention his name.
• 16:29
  Speaker 1: But he would come in and I had the biggest
• 16:32
  Speaker 1: crush on him, and I met lots of celebrities. I
• 16:34
  Speaker 1: became friends with lots of celebrities by them coming in,
• 16:37
  Speaker 1: just by seeing them every day. And he would come
• 16:40
  Speaker 1: in and talk to me, and I was like I
• 16:43
  Speaker 1: would come home every day and tell Chelsea stories about
• 16:46
  Speaker 1: this is what he said today, and it was just like,
• 16:48
  Speaker 1: I mean, it was so exciting. I really really yeah.
• 16:51
  Speaker 1: I loved him. I did. I was like, wow, I
• 16:54
  Speaker 1: So anyway, I got the opportunity to go to a
• 16:56
  Speaker 1: function that was a really high end function, and I
• 16:59
  Speaker 1: was like, I'm gonna ask him to go with me.
• 17:01
  Speaker 1: And I did. I knew where he lived. He lived
• 17:04
  Speaker 1: in the Palisa, So I went to his house and
• 17:07
  Speaker 1: I knocked on his door and and he answered the
• 17:14
  Speaker 1: door in his briefs. He was in his yeah, oh yeah,
• 17:17
  Speaker 1: and he was beauty. He's he is, he's beautiful. And
• 17:21
  Speaker 1: he got behind the door and I'm like he's like, Colleen,
• 17:24
  Speaker 1: what are you? What are you doing here? And I'm like, oh,
• 17:28
  Speaker 1: I just have a question to ask you. I'm going
• 17:29
  Speaker 1: to this function and I would like you to come
• 17:31
  Speaker 1: with me. And he just looked at me and he
• 17:34
  Speaker 1: started laughing and he said, oh, I can't go with you.
• 17:37
  Speaker 1: I said why not? And he said because I have
• 17:42
  Speaker 1: a function that I have to go to tonight. And
• 17:45
  Speaker 1: I said, well, maybe it's the same function and then
• 17:47
  Speaker 1: you could take me, and he just was like, I'm sorry,
• 17:51
  Speaker 1: I think you should go. And by this point I
• 17:53
  Speaker 1: just looked at him and I was like tears and
• 17:55
  Speaker 1: tears running down my face and I was like, oh,
• 17:57
  Speaker 1: I'm going, I'm going. And I got in the car
• 18:00
  Speaker 1: and I drove home and I bawled the whole way home.
• 18:03
  Speaker 1: And when I get home, she's just like, what is
• 18:05
  Speaker 1: wrong with you? Because I'm just like a man mass
• 18:08
  Speaker 1: And I told her what happened, and she's like, you're nuts.
• 18:12
  Speaker 1: You've got the biggest balls of anyone that I've ever met.
• 18:15
  Speaker 1: I can't believe that you actually went to his house
• 18:18
  Speaker 1: and did that. And I was like, yeah, yeah, I did.
• 18:21
  Speaker 1: I did, but I I've seen him since you did that.
• 18:26
  Speaker 1: After that, Oh man, he was on and I wasn't
• 18:31
  Speaker 1: there to see him. I knew someone that worked there,
• 18:34
  Speaker 1: and I went to see the show at taping a
• 18:36
  Speaker 1: few times there. So when I found out he was on,
• 18:39
  Speaker 1: I was like, oh my gosh. So I told the
• 18:41
  Speaker 1: person and they said, oh, let me tell him, and
• 18:43
  Speaker 1: so he was like, yeah, yeah, send her back, send
• 18:45
  Speaker 1: her to my trailer. So I got to see him
• 18:48
  Speaker 1: and he introduced me to his wife and his lovely children,
• 18:51
  Speaker 1: and I mean, he's he's an awesome person. And you know,
• 18:54
  Speaker 1: that was just me hoping that, you know, but I
• 18:57
  Speaker 1: fucking don't you do regret doing that exactly. That is
• 19:01
  Speaker 1: what every listener should know. I don't regret at all.
• 19:03
  Speaker 1: I've done a lot of crazy ship in my life,
• 19:05
  Speaker 1: crazy shit that I and you know what, it's brought
• 19:08
  Speaker 1: me to where I am right now, and I have
• 19:12
  Speaker 1: no I mean, I I don't think you know this,
• 19:14
  Speaker 1: but I was in love with this guy for years
• 19:16
  Speaker 1: and years and years. I was friends with him for
• 19:18
  Speaker 1: years and years and years. And we spent the day
• 19:20
  Speaker 1: together and I hope he's not listening, but anyway, I
• 19:23
  Speaker 1: loved him and we spent the day together and I
• 19:27
  Speaker 1: never told him how I felt and he was leaving,
• 19:30
  Speaker 1: he dropped me off. We spent the day and down
• 19:32
  Speaker 1: Barrington Avenue. I decided I had that because I feel
• 19:35
  Speaker 1: like my life sometimes is like a romantic comedy. And
• 19:39
  Speaker 1: I saw him leaving and I started running down Barrington
• 19:42
  Speaker 1: Avenue calling his name, and he stopped in the middle
• 19:46
  Speaker 1: of the road and I went up and I was like,
• 19:48
  Speaker 1: I love you, I love you. It didn't go well.
• 19:52
  Speaker 1: It didn't you know again, it didn't go well. Yeah again,
• 19:56
  Speaker 1: I can't remember that it was supposed to be a
• 19:59
  Speaker 1: romantic comedy moments, I know I have. I've had a
• 20:02
  Speaker 1: lot of those moments where I think it's going to
• 20:04
  Speaker 1: go one way and it it just it doesn't. It
• 20:06
  Speaker 1: goes bad, so, you know, but I don't regret it
• 20:09
  Speaker 1: at all because now I've I've met my husband and
• 20:11
  Speaker 1: he's wonderful. Yeah. Did you have to take any of
• 20:13
  Speaker 1: those sorts of risks with your husband? You have to
• 20:16
  Speaker 1: take risks. We met online dating? Yeah, we met on
• 20:20
  Speaker 1: e harmony. We're like an e harmony success story. Yeah,
• 20:24
  Speaker 1: there's a lot of e harmony success stories. Yeah, so great.
• 20:28
  Speaker 1: Before we get to all the fun stuff, we'll take
• 20:30
  Speaker 1: a quick break. Okay, sounds good. We'll be right back.
• 20:37
  Speaker 1: But yeah, getting back to Chelsea and I we um um,
• 20:42
  Speaker 1: we have to talk about something else. We have to
• 20:44
  Speaker 1: talk about our vacation that we decided to take. I
• 20:51
  Speaker 1: wrote about this in My Horizontal Life and this is where. Yes,
• 20:54
  Speaker 1: the cruise ship. We took a three day cruise from
• 20:59
  Speaker 1: Long Long Beach to Ensonata for for the for the
• 21:03
  Speaker 1: New Year's holiday. We were like, let's spend New Years together.
• 21:06
  Speaker 1: We're gonna We had no money, so we were carnival cruise.
• 21:09
  Speaker 1: Everybody just yes, it was Carnival cruise. It was. It
• 21:13
  Speaker 1: was a disaster. I recommend I recommend never going to Ensonataval.
• 21:21
  Speaker 1: I would like to recommend for going on a carnival
• 21:24
  Speaker 1: cruise with it doesn't matter who the company is. I
• 21:28
  Speaker 1: had visions of us walking on board and seeing like
• 21:31
  Speaker 1: Captain Stubing and you know the doc from the Love Boat,
• 21:35
  Speaker 1: like I thought the whole that's what cruises were based
• 21:38
  Speaker 1: on my television experience. Yeah, I have a picture of
• 21:41
  Speaker 1: Chelsea on the cruise. So let me just good news.
• 21:44
  Speaker 1: Let me just get this real quick, because this would
• 21:46
  Speaker 1: summarize right here, This would summarize Chelsea. Do I just
• 21:50
  Speaker 1: where do I show it? This would summarize you giving
• 21:56
  Speaker 1: the finger to her, bundled up in blankets. That was
• 22:01
  Speaker 1: pretty much where. We're gonna have to send that to
• 22:03
  Speaker 1: me so we can use it for the podcast. That's
• 22:06
  Speaker 1: how cold we were because we thought, oh we we're
• 22:08
  Speaker 1: gonna go to Mexico. It's going to be beautiful, Oh
• 22:11
  Speaker 1: my god. And all right in this picture we are
• 22:15
  Speaker 1: and I'm gonna tell this story. This right here is
• 22:18
  Speaker 1: us wearing our bracelets so we don't get sick, you know,
• 22:21
  Speaker 1: the motions bracelets, which you know they don't work. But anyway, um,
• 22:26
  Speaker 1: so there's me and Chelsea there I am as a brunette.
• 22:29
  Speaker 1: My goodness. So maybe, but but this cruise we were
• 22:35
  Speaker 1: freezing the entire time. We get on there and there
• 22:38
  Speaker 1: was these First of all, do you remember running through
• 22:40
  Speaker 1: the decks like we were like running like we were
• 22:43
  Speaker 1: in the Titanic or something like running away from people
• 22:45
  Speaker 1: that were chasing us. Do you remember, Okay, when we
• 22:48
  Speaker 1: first got on there, I think there was a guy
• 22:50
  Speaker 1: is that and you were like Rod Rod, and so
• 22:52
  Speaker 1: we're running to try and find our room. You don't
• 22:54
  Speaker 1: remember that you stole away. I don't remember that part. Well,
• 22:57
  Speaker 1: we get on. We get first of all, the room
• 23:00
  Speaker 1: is the size of like a bathroom. I thought it
• 23:02
  Speaker 1: was gonna be like a romantic love sweet you know,
• 23:05
  Speaker 1: where we have some big master and she and I
• 23:07
  Speaker 1: would just switch off when we hooked up with guys. Meanwhile,
• 23:09
  Speaker 1: we check in and it's literally the size. It's like
• 23:12
  Speaker 1: a twelve foot by twelve foot room, cabbyhole. You had
• 23:15
  Speaker 1: to climb over one of the single beds to get
• 23:18
  Speaker 1: to the fucking bathroom. Like the bathroom wasn't easy, like
• 23:21
  Speaker 1: accessible for anyone to take a shower. You couldn't take
• 23:26
  Speaker 1: a shower. I mean you were like this washing because
• 23:28
  Speaker 1: you couldn't move your arms. It was awful. And then
• 23:30
  Speaker 1: we had a porthole. This is a really fun story.
• 23:33
  Speaker 1: So if you've ever been on a cruise, you know
• 23:36
  Speaker 1: that dinner time you sit with the same people every
• 23:38
  Speaker 1: single night. And we're all excited to go to dinner.
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: Let's eat it's all you can eat buffet. We get there,
• 23:43
  Speaker 1: we sit down. So who we sit down with is
• 23:46
  Speaker 1: a family of Mormons. And they were lovely, they were
• 23:49
  Speaker 1: you know, it was a really nice family. But this
• 23:53
  Speaker 1: one over here, she just offended them left and right,
• 23:56
  Speaker 1: left and right. I mean, it was so bad. It
• 23:59
  Speaker 1: was it was I was so embarrassed. I was so
• 24:02
  Speaker 1: embarrassed because every other the word is f this and
• 24:05
  Speaker 1: then they're just like I mean, it was like a
• 24:08
  Speaker 1: husband and wife and they're like five kids or something,
• 24:10
  Speaker 1: and it was so so bad. So we finished dinner
• 24:14
  Speaker 1: and the next night, I'm getting ready for dinner and
• 24:16
  Speaker 1: I'm like, are you ready to go? And she's like yeah.
• 24:18
  Speaker 1: She's like yeah, I'm not. I'm not going have fun.
• 24:21
  Speaker 1: And I'm like, what you have to come to dinner
• 24:24
  Speaker 1: and she's like no, you fucking go have a good time,
• 24:26
  Speaker 1: and she didn't leave the cabin the rest of the
• 24:29
  Speaker 1: two days. I gotta once I got a full understanding
• 24:34
  Speaker 1: of the company we were keeping. I was like, I'll
• 24:37
  Speaker 1: just be inside the cabinet. So I was so upset.
• 24:40
  Speaker 1: I had to go and have dinner with the family
• 24:43
  Speaker 1: who you know by association I was the devil. So
• 24:47
  Speaker 1: I had to sit at this table with them, and
• 24:49
  Speaker 1: they hated me and it was just awful. Oh it
• 24:52
  Speaker 1: was I can't believe she made me go by myself
• 24:54
  Speaker 1: and she just she thought it was funny. I was like,
• 24:57
  Speaker 1: I just can't commingle with those people again. And and
• 25:00
  Speaker 1: when we got to Ensenada, I was like hey, because
• 25:02
  Speaker 1: there was like, oh, they're gonna be gambling on the ship.
• 25:04
  Speaker 1: I was like, okay, great, that's something that will keep
• 25:06
  Speaker 1: me busy for at least an hour. But you create
• 25:08
  Speaker 1: your gamble until you crossed the Mexican border, so I
• 25:12
  Speaker 1: was like, you had to wait like twelve hours to
• 25:15
  Speaker 1: start the gambling. And I was like wait, what what?
• 25:17
  Speaker 1: And then on the way back, the same thing as
• 25:19
  Speaker 1: soon as you got into I don't even remember gambling
• 25:21
  Speaker 1: American waters. Yeah, we gambled together. We did. Did we win? No?
• 25:25
  Speaker 1: I mean we had no money. It was like twenty
• 25:27
  Speaker 1: dollars and you know, I think I blew that and
• 25:29
  Speaker 1: lost it right away. But I was like trying to
• 25:31
  Speaker 1: convince Colleen. I was like, listen, when we get to Ensenada,
• 25:34
  Speaker 1: we have to jump ship and we have to get
• 25:36
  Speaker 1: a car to take us back to l A. And
• 25:38
  Speaker 1: She's like, Chelsea, we could get assaulted. At least we'd
• 25:41
  Speaker 1: have a good New Year's Like, who cares what happens
• 25:44
  Speaker 1: on the way back home. But I'm not taking this
• 25:46
  Speaker 1: fucking boat back. And I was just trying to convince her.
• 25:49
  Speaker 1: Do you remember that I trying to convince her to
• 25:52
  Speaker 1: get off the boat and the rules. Yeah, I follow
• 25:57
  Speaker 1: the rules all the time. I followed the rules. I
• 25:59
  Speaker 1: was like, why do you We'll pay someone. I'm like,
• 26:01
  Speaker 1: we'll find somebody to get us back to l A
• 26:04
  Speaker 1: and we will pay them. And she's like with what money.
• 26:06
  Speaker 1: I'm like, who cares, We'll figure that out later. Yeah, No,
• 26:09
  Speaker 1: that was just it was. It was a nightmare. Kept
• 26:13
  Speaker 1: you alive by not letting you, like find a random
• 26:15
  Speaker 1: driver and you're welcome. Possibly, yes, but yeah, thank you. Yeah,
• 26:19
  Speaker 1: she had a good hand in keeping me alive. At
• 26:22
  Speaker 1: least I wasn't such a bit that I just left
• 26:24
  Speaker 1: her on the boat, because that would have been a
• 26:25
  Speaker 1: step above that would have been. That would have been.
• 26:28
  Speaker 1: But I think I I don't think. I think we
• 26:30
  Speaker 1: were just so mad. I I honestly don't think we
• 26:33
  Speaker 1: talked the whole way home. I think that we were
• 26:34
  Speaker 1: like pissed. I was just like, I mean, we get
• 26:36
  Speaker 1: so we would get so aggravated with each other. We
• 26:39
  Speaker 1: were we were like sisters, and it was like we
• 26:41
  Speaker 1: wouldn't talk to each other. We'd be like, fuck you,
• 26:44
  Speaker 1: and then ten minutes later she'd be like, you want
• 26:46
  Speaker 1: to go to c p KNY, And I like, let's
• 26:50
  Speaker 1: do it. That's funny. That boat was also so depressed
• 26:55
  Speaker 1: because it was cold. I don't know. I had this
• 26:58
  Speaker 1: idea that was in Mexico everything was warm. It have
• 27:01
  Speaker 1: to get there first, and it was freezing, so like
• 27:05
  Speaker 1: there was no bathing suit action. There was no lido
• 27:08
  Speaker 1: deck activity, nobody was. There was a pool and it
• 27:12
  Speaker 1: was completely covered, like it was closed off, like we
• 27:16
  Speaker 1: thought we were gonna be hanging out our bathing suites
• 27:18
  Speaker 1: right right. It's like we did nothing. We did tracked.
• 27:21
  Speaker 1: It's like we almost had no idea what happens on cruises,
• 27:24
  Speaker 1: Like we thought it was going to be well. I
• 27:26
  Speaker 1: think we just took a bad one. I think there
• 27:28
  Speaker 1: are really good cruises, yeah, but I sure there are,
• 27:30
  Speaker 1: but in general, I would like to stay away from them.
• 27:33
  Speaker 1: I know, you know, it's just not that's not my scene.
• 27:36
  Speaker 1: It's funny what you remember from that trip and what
• 27:38
  Speaker 1: I remember from that trip, like different memories that the
• 27:41
  Speaker 1: other person doesn't remember at all. It makes you wonder, like,
• 27:43
  Speaker 1: am I making all this shut up? You know? Like
• 27:45
  Speaker 1: when I talked to my sisters, they're always like, you're
• 27:47
  Speaker 1: so full of ship your memories, they're not real. I'm like,
• 27:50
  Speaker 1: and then somebody will corroborate it, you know, in my
• 27:53
  Speaker 1: family they'll be like, actually that wasn't that was true?
• 27:56
  Speaker 1: And my sisters will be like, oh great, don't give
• 27:58
  Speaker 1: her anymore, you know, gas, because she already thinks she
• 28:01
  Speaker 1: fucking remembers everything, and I know I don't. Joe's always like,
• 28:04
  Speaker 1: you have a six month memory, He's like, and even
• 28:06
  Speaker 1: then it's pretty shifty. Well, he's adorable. I want to
• 28:10
  Speaker 1: meet him, I know, I want to tell him to
• 28:11
  Speaker 1: come and say hi if he's in the neighborhood. I also,
• 28:14
  Speaker 1: do you remember your car, your first car that you
• 28:15
  Speaker 1: bought at six o five? No, which one was. She
• 28:18
  Speaker 1: had a black Echo, a Toyota Echo, and she was
• 28:22
  Speaker 1: so proud of herself, and she would go, look at me,
• 28:24
  Speaker 1: I'm so cute. O, oh my gosh. She loved that car.
• 28:31
  Speaker 1: Oh that car was the buzzing around because that was
• 28:33
  Speaker 1: the first brand new car that I had ever driven,
• 28:36
  Speaker 1: because my father was a used car dealer, so every
• 28:38
  Speaker 1: car I had ever had up until that point was used.
• 28:40
  Speaker 1: And I remember when I got rid of the Toyota Echo.
• 28:43
  Speaker 1: I went to go turn it in and I got
• 28:45
  Speaker 1: it in this place in the marina. It says I
• 28:46
  Speaker 1: got a whale of a deal. It's said on the
• 28:48
  Speaker 1: license plate, and I remember that. And then I when
• 28:52
  Speaker 1: I turned that car in and I got my next car.
• 28:54
  Speaker 1: I remember the car. They were opening up my glove
• 28:56
  Speaker 1: compartment and they found an egg McMuffin clove compartment from
• 29:00
  Speaker 1: like two years before, and I was so hard. I
• 29:03
  Speaker 1: was like, oh my god, this is exactly what my
• 29:06
  Speaker 1: parents like. This is exactly how I had turned into
• 29:09
  Speaker 1: my parents, because they would drive around their disgusting cars
• 29:12
  Speaker 1: with fucking McDonald's, old McDonald's coffees and egg mcmuffins in
• 29:16
  Speaker 1: every compartment you could find, and then it happened to me.
• 29:19
  Speaker 1: I was like, oh, this is a full circle moment. Yeah,
• 29:22
  Speaker 1: that was her. She was so proud of that car. Yeah. Yeah,
• 29:25
  Speaker 1: And then I gave it to know I didn't give
• 29:27
  Speaker 1: it to someone. Oh, I got Chewy. When Chewy and
• 29:29
  Speaker 1: I got together, he I was like, this is you,
• 29:32
  Speaker 1: this is the car you need this to No. I
• 29:35
  Speaker 1: got him a different one. But he had his own
• 29:37
  Speaker 1: little Toyota Echo, a red one, because that was a
• 29:40
  Speaker 1: perfect size car for him. That Toyota Echo was amazing
• 29:43
  Speaker 1: because you didn't even have to put it in reverse.
• 29:45
  Speaker 1: You could just pick it up and turn it around.
• 29:47
  Speaker 1: That was my joke and stand up. When I had
• 29:49
  Speaker 1: that car, I would talk about it all the time.
• 29:52
  Speaker 1: What kind of Yeah, what kind of car did you drive?
• 29:54
  Speaker 1: You had a Okay, well I came here. I think
• 29:58
  Speaker 1: it was my Camaro. Wasn't my rent? Yes? Yes, okay,
• 30:00
  Speaker 1: so my Camaro. By the way, we're both from Jersey
• 30:03
  Speaker 1: and um I had my car, my nineteen seventy one
• 30:07
  Speaker 1: or something Camaro. My dad shipped it out, and yeah,
• 30:11
  Speaker 1: it was the greatest. I loved my Camaro. But yeah,
• 30:13
  Speaker 1: it blew up on me. My dad whenever he came
• 30:16
  Speaker 1: to visit. He would do the oil changes. He like,
• 30:18
  Speaker 1: would you know, do my car in the parking lot.
• 30:21
  Speaker 1: That's another thing. She's always been super close with her family, right,
• 30:26
  Speaker 1: we actually have some questions that are exactly about that.
• 30:28
  Speaker 1: So I'm interested to hear. Oh, yeah, we have to
• 30:31
  Speaker 1: take colors. By the way, people have to call in
• 30:33
  Speaker 1: and get advice because I'm the one to give advice.
• 30:35
  Speaker 1: Who am I to give advice? This is perfect, but
• 30:37
  Speaker 1: they just needed from anybody. It doesn't really matter, all right,
• 30:40
  Speaker 1: But yeah, well that's something. I would talk to my
• 30:43
  Speaker 1: parents every single day, so I would tell them everything
• 30:45
  Speaker 1: that happened throughout the day. And that would drive me like,
• 30:49
  Speaker 1: what are you doing? Like she'd be on the phone
• 30:51
  Speaker 1: with her dad and she'd be like, and then whoever
• 30:52
  Speaker 1: the crush was, let's say his name was Luke. She'll
• 30:54
  Speaker 1: be like, and then Luke came in, and then Luke
• 30:56
  Speaker 1: said this to me, didn't And I'm like, that's your father.
• 30:59
  Speaker 1: And then she'd be on the It was so funny,
• 31:02
  Speaker 1: and I would be so annoyed. I like, you need
• 31:05
  Speaker 1: to get some friends, Like you cannot be on the
• 31:07
  Speaker 1: phone telling your parents all this, And she's like, I
• 31:09
  Speaker 1: love my family. I tell them everything. I tell my
• 31:12
  Speaker 1: mother everything, and I tell my father everything. And that
• 31:14
  Speaker 1: was not the relationship I had with my parents. You know,
• 31:17
  Speaker 1: I wasn't telling them anything. I'm still really close. I
• 31:21
  Speaker 1: mean they're they're here visiting me for two months. And
• 31:23
  Speaker 1: and now Colleen has her own child and she has
• 31:26
  Speaker 1: a step well she has two children because she's a stepmother.
• 31:28
  Speaker 1: And you actually gave birth. I did, I did. How
• 31:32
  Speaker 1: was that not fun? It's it's terrible. It was. I mean,
• 31:36
  Speaker 1: I people say it's the most beautiful. It's not. It's
• 31:39
  Speaker 1: beautiful when you're holding your baby at the end. But
• 31:41
  Speaker 1: I ended up having an emergency C section. It was
• 31:44
  Speaker 1: traumatic and really scary. And an epidural is a life saver.
• 31:50
  Speaker 1: And anyone who doesn't do it, I don't know what
• 31:52
  Speaker 1: the funds wrong with you, because it is, like, I mean,
• 31:54
  Speaker 1: it really helps you a lot, a lot. I would
• 31:57
  Speaker 1: like to get an epidural just just yeah, it sounds good. Yeah,
• 32:02
  Speaker 1: so yeah, so yeah I gave birth and yeah, and
• 32:05
  Speaker 1: then I, um, I gained tons of weight my I
• 32:08
  Speaker 1: you know, balloons, like I don't even know. I've I've
• 32:11
  Speaker 1: lost forty five pounds in six months. What are you
• 32:15
  Speaker 1: doing okay? So well? First of all, let me just
• 32:17
  Speaker 1: say that I went to my doctor and my doctor said,
• 32:21
  Speaker 1: you have high cholesterol. I was on medication for everything,
• 32:24
  Speaker 1: high cholesterol, high blood pressure, and the beginnings of a
• 32:26
  Speaker 1: fatty liver. And I was like, okay, I have to
• 32:29
  Speaker 1: do something. I have to take control of my body here.
• 32:33
  Speaker 1: So I started on this diet where I eat super clean,
• 32:37
  Speaker 1: I eat veggies, I eat protein, I cut out carbs,
• 32:40
  Speaker 1: I cut no there's no bread, there's no pasta, there's
• 32:42
  Speaker 1: no alcohol whatsoever. So you probably couldn't do this diet.
• 32:46
  Speaker 1: But yeah, I just eat really clean and I exercise
• 32:49
  Speaker 1: five times a week. I run and I do at
• 32:52
  Speaker 1: intervals like I walk and then I run and I
• 32:54
  Speaker 1: on an incline, so I think it's really important to
• 32:57
  Speaker 1: get your heart rate up. And then I walk, like
• 32:59
  Speaker 1: every point tenth of a mile, I stopped, like I'll
• 33:02
  Speaker 1: either walk or run, and I do that for four miles,
• 33:05
  Speaker 1: so it keeps my heart rated and even keel. And yeah,
• 33:09
  Speaker 1: I just started losing weight and I started making really
• 33:12
  Speaker 1: small goals for myself, and every month, I'd lose ten pounds.
• 33:15
  Speaker 1: So not any specific diet, just common sense, like common sense.
• 33:19
  Speaker 1: But I also do these meals. I don't know if
• 33:21
  Speaker 1: you've heard of it. It's called Factor and my husband
• 33:24
  Speaker 1: and I he's lost like thirty pounds two. Um. We
• 33:26
  Speaker 1: do these Factor meals. So we get them delivered and
• 33:29
  Speaker 1: we eat them for dinner, and they are delicious. They
• 33:31
  Speaker 1: are it's like a gourmet meal. I hate to cook anyway,
• 33:34
  Speaker 1: so I'm like, I put it in the mic way
• 33:35
  Speaker 1: for two and a half minutes, I put it on
• 33:36
  Speaker 1: a plate. It looks like a gourmet meal. There you go. Done.
• 33:39
  Speaker 1: It's portion control. It's delicious. I got my parents on
• 33:43
  Speaker 1: it while they're here. We're doing the Factor meals. So
• 33:46
  Speaker 1: I tell everybody because I've been getting like people commenting
• 33:49
  Speaker 1: and on Instagram and stuff, and I send them the
• 33:51
  Speaker 1: Factor thing. I'm like, it's worked. So it's combination of everything.
• 33:56
  Speaker 1: I do the Factor meals and I work out, and
• 33:59
  Speaker 1: I'm just really you know, diligent about what I put
• 34:02
  Speaker 1: in my body. And and you had said when we
• 34:04
  Speaker 1: were on the phone, like you know, getting to know
• 34:07
  Speaker 1: what your interests were and stuff about you. You had
• 34:10
  Speaker 1: said that, like you are finding that you're actually able
• 34:12
  Speaker 1: to carve out time for yourself because You're like, this
• 34:15
  Speaker 1: is my time. I go to the gym, and so
• 34:16
  Speaker 1: it seems like you're feeling really great and well as
• 34:18
  Speaker 1: a as a mom and all moms, no, you have
• 34:21
  Speaker 1: no free time. You have none. I mean, for the
• 34:23
  Speaker 1: past five years, I don't do anything else for myself.
• 34:27
  Speaker 1: It is for her all the time, and you start
• 34:29
  Speaker 1: to get really depressed. We moved to Orange County from
• 34:32
  Speaker 1: l A last year and there's a dairy Queen across
• 34:34
  Speaker 1: the street, which is not not because I'm like, just
• 34:38
  Speaker 1: go to dairy Queen, and you know, and I wanted
• 34:40
  Speaker 1: to try all the restaurants and stuff, and I put
• 34:42
  Speaker 1: on the pounds, but yeah, I don't have any time
• 34:45
  Speaker 1: for myself. And then she started school, which is the
• 34:48
  Speaker 1: best thing in the world. Schools awesome. So she started school,
• 34:52
  Speaker 1: so she goes for four hours a day and those
• 34:54
  Speaker 1: four hours are my time, and I go right to
• 34:56
  Speaker 1: the gym. I drop her off and I go right
• 34:58
  Speaker 1: to the gym. So it's not even like a question
• 35:01
  Speaker 1: of what I'm gonna do today, It's off to the gym.
• 35:03
  Speaker 1: And I feel the best that I have ever felt,
• 35:07
  Speaker 1: and I have time for myself, and the most important
• 35:10
  Speaker 1: thing is no more fatty liver. No more cholesterol, no
• 35:13
  Speaker 1: more high blood pressure. Everything's under control, and I feel great.
• 35:17
  Speaker 1: So I love that. Yeah, that's such a motivator for
• 35:21
  Speaker 1: so many people who are feeling like that. Yeah, once
• 35:24
  Speaker 1: you have kids, I don't even understand how people can function.
• 35:26
  Speaker 1: I don't even get it. It must be so it's
• 35:29
  Speaker 1: talk about all consuming. It's it's the hardest thing that
• 35:33
  Speaker 1: I've ever had to do. I love this child so much,
• 35:36
  Speaker 1: but it is the hardest. Okay, I have O c D.
• 35:39
  Speaker 1: My husband is a perfectionist. She doesn't have much of
• 35:41
  Speaker 1: a of a chance here. She's a she's going to
• 35:43
  Speaker 1: be a disaster, but she's she's already got O c
• 35:46
  Speaker 1: D issues where all of her toys have to be
• 35:48
  Speaker 1: perfectly stacked up and and um. But she's the sweetest
• 35:52
  Speaker 1: thing ever. But yeah, the tantrums and everything, it's it's
• 35:55
  Speaker 1: not fun. How do you handle tantrums? I just locked
• 35:59
  Speaker 1: myself in my bedroom and no, no, no, no, no. Um.
• 36:03
  Speaker 1: I'm getting better at it. Usually I'm like, what's wrong?
• 36:06
  Speaker 1: What you know? And now I have to I have
• 36:08
  Speaker 1: to calm myself down and try to see it from
• 36:11
  Speaker 1: her perspective. Because kids, they're upset for some reason. You
• 36:15
  Speaker 1: have to try and understand where they're coming from instead
• 36:18
  Speaker 1: of just getting upset. So my husband, who he's really
• 36:21
  Speaker 1: good at handling that, he's helping me see that. I've
• 36:25
  Speaker 1: gotten a lot calmer over the years. I've let things go.
• 36:28
  Speaker 1: I'm very wound up and tight and very structured, and
• 36:32
  Speaker 1: so I have as a mom, let go because you
• 36:34
  Speaker 1: have to let go, because right, it's too bad you
• 36:37
  Speaker 1: didn't have that skill set when you were living with me,
• 36:39
  Speaker 1: because that was your first experience with the toddler. It
• 36:42
  Speaker 1: was it was Okay, So we're gonna take callers. People
• 36:45
  Speaker 1: are going to call in or right in, Katherine, do
• 36:48
  Speaker 1: you want to get the ball rolling? Or should we
• 36:49
  Speaker 1: take a quick break first. Let's take a quick break first,
• 36:52
  Speaker 1: and then we'll come back with callers. Okay, Well, see
• 37:00
  Speaker 1: how we do this as a couple, as the odd couple. Alright, Well,
• 37:04
  Speaker 1: our first caller today is Emma. She says, help, I'm
• 37:09
  Speaker 1: a twenty five year old virgin. Dear Chelsea, I'm just
• 37:12
  Speaker 1: going to cut right to it. I'm a twenty five
• 37:15
  Speaker 1: year old virgin, and I hate it. I shouldn't really
• 37:17
  Speaker 1: use the word hate because I don't hate the fact
• 37:19
  Speaker 1: that I still am, but I'm embarrassed and I can't
• 37:22
  Speaker 1: help it. It's not that I want to wait, or
• 37:25
  Speaker 1: that I'm waiting for the right person and all that ship.
• 37:27
  Speaker 1: I just haven't had the moment of okay right now
• 37:30
  Speaker 1: is fine, but would stop something from going further. Every
• 37:34
  Speaker 1: man I've had somewhat of a relationship with has been
• 37:36
  Speaker 1: respectful and kind about it. But I hate bringing it up,
• 37:39
  Speaker 1: and I hate that I feel like I have to
• 37:41
  Speaker 1: bring it up. I also hate looking around me and
• 37:44
  Speaker 1: seeing all of my friends talking comfortably about their sex
• 37:47
  Speaker 1: lives when mine is non existent. So I'm seeking any
• 37:51
  Speaker 1: advice that you can possibly give me because I can't
• 37:53
  Speaker 1: help but feel alone in this. Sincerely, Emma, Hi, Emma, Hi, Emma, Hi,
• 37:59
  Speaker 1: how are you? Hi? Emma? This is my roommate from
• 38:03
  Speaker 1: many many moons ago in l A. Her name's Colleen,
• 38:06
  Speaker 1: and she's our guest today. Yeah. Hi, Hi, it's so
• 38:11
  Speaker 1: nice to meet you. Guys. Well, it's so nice and
• 38:14
  Speaker 1: refreshing to meet a virgin. I don't meet a lot
• 38:16
  Speaker 1: of virgins. I don't either, Yeah, I do know other
• 38:21
  Speaker 1: virgins your age, not within like my circle. Oh that
• 38:28
  Speaker 1: makes it even more. That makes it stand out more. Colleen,
• 38:31
  Speaker 1: why don't you talk about your experience because one of
• 38:35
  Speaker 1: us had sex at a very young age and one
• 38:37
  Speaker 1: of us was a little bit more um responsible, Yes, yeah, responsible. Well, Emma,
• 38:44
  Speaker 1: first of all, there's nothing to be embarrassed about at all.
• 38:47
  Speaker 1: I lost my virginity at twenty nine. In my head,
• 38:52
  Speaker 1: like I was telling Chelsea, I feel like my life
• 38:54
  Speaker 1: should be like a romantic comedy, and that's what I
• 38:57
  Speaker 1: was waiting for, the perfect love and we were going
• 39:00
  Speaker 1: to ride off into the sunset together. And I felt
• 39:02
  Speaker 1: the same way as you. I was embarrassed. I was like,
• 39:06
  Speaker 1: I'm just gonna have sex with with anybody because this
• 39:09
  Speaker 1: is so you know, you just at like why am
• 39:11
  Speaker 1: I not meeting someone or what's going on? I actually
• 39:15
  Speaker 1: wish I would have waited longer because the person that
• 39:19
  Speaker 1: I did have sex with it was a mistake and
• 39:24
  Speaker 1: it was a mistake and it was a horrible experience.
• 39:27
  Speaker 1: It was awful and it was terrible. It wasn't a
• 39:30
  Speaker 1: good at treeria Is, I would have waited. So my
• 39:34
  Speaker 1: advice to you is, don't be embarrassed, don't settle. You're
• 39:39
  Speaker 1: gonna meet someone who loves that you are a virgin,
• 39:42
  Speaker 1: You're gonna meet someone who appreciates you and who adores you,
• 39:46
  Speaker 1: and don't ever apologize for it. Just be who you are.
• 39:50
  Speaker 1: That's the most important thing. And if you're not feeling it,
• 39:54
  Speaker 1: don't do it. Yeah, that you should embrace the uniqueness
• 39:57
  Speaker 1: that is you and your virginity and all the other
• 40:00
  Speaker 1: unique things about you and focus on those things. That's
• 40:04
  Speaker 1: that's something that's cool. Ye uncommon you know what I mean,
• 40:07
  Speaker 1: it's it's uncommonly cool, I should say. Anyway, anyway you
• 40:11
  Speaker 1: phrase it, it covers it, like, that's cool. You have
• 40:14
  Speaker 1: something that not a lot of people have going on
• 40:16
  Speaker 1: right now. Yeah, that's true. It's definitely like uncommon. Like
• 40:21
  Speaker 1: when I tell men when I'm in a relationship and
• 40:24
  Speaker 1: it's starting to get a little risque, you should say,
• 40:27
  Speaker 1: I've never had Like I said, I've never had a
• 40:29
  Speaker 1: bad experience telling them. They're always very nice and they're
• 40:32
  Speaker 1: surprised for sure. But it is uncomfortable kind of to
• 40:37
  Speaker 1: bring up because I can't help but have that little
• 40:40
  Speaker 1: guy in the back of my head being like this
• 40:42
  Speaker 1: is so embarrassing. No, I know, I know, I feel you.
• 40:46
  Speaker 1: I was in the same boat I actually didn't even
• 40:48
  Speaker 1: tell the guy that I had sex with it. I
• 40:51
  Speaker 1: was really I didn't even tell them. I was just like, Yeah,
• 40:55
  Speaker 1: was it because you were so eager to have sex
• 40:58
  Speaker 1: or was it you were so into the guy? Like, well,
• 41:00
  Speaker 1: I honestly think I was twenty nine. I hadn't really
• 41:03
  Speaker 1: met anyone that I really really really liked, and we
• 41:06
  Speaker 1: were dating, so it was going there. But I didn't
• 41:09
  Speaker 1: want to tell him because I was embarrassed. I was
• 41:11
  Speaker 1: the same way as you feel. I was embarrassed. I
• 41:14
  Speaker 1: was just like, Oh, he's going to run away if
• 41:16
  Speaker 1: he finds out I'm twenty nine years old. This is
• 41:19
  Speaker 1: and so I didn't say anything. And after the fact
• 41:23
  Speaker 1: I told him and he was just like what. But
• 41:26
  Speaker 1: I regret that whole situation because I would have just
• 41:28
  Speaker 1: waited to find someone that appreciated me. And so my
• 41:33
  Speaker 1: advice to you would be to just hang in there.
• 41:36
  Speaker 1: You are going to meet someone. You're going to meet
• 41:38
  Speaker 1: someone that adores you, and it's going to be like, Wow,
• 41:41
  Speaker 1: you waited for me, and that's gonna be so special.
• 41:44
  Speaker 1: So that is special. Yeah, I think I've read too
• 41:48
  Speaker 1: many books in my lifetime, so I have this whole
• 41:52
  Speaker 1: preconception of like it's a magical moment. Like I just
• 41:55
  Speaker 1: read I'm in graduate school and I just read Forever
• 41:58
  Speaker 1: by Judy Bluem and it's literally about a teenage girl
• 42:00
  Speaker 1: having sex for the first time. And I was like,
• 42:02
  Speaker 1: this is too fitting. This is maybe a little past two,
• 42:05
  Speaker 1: but also like too fitting. I love Judy Bloom read
• 42:10
  Speaker 1: those are the fastings around. So, Emma, what are you
• 42:14
  Speaker 1: waiting for? Are you waiting to be in love and
• 42:16
  Speaker 1: being a relationship, like a really serious relationship. Is that
• 42:19
  Speaker 1: what you're waiting for? I think kind of yes, And no,
• 42:22
  Speaker 1: I don't. I'm not like into hook up culture. I
• 42:25
  Speaker 1: I live in Boston, so like dating out here is
• 42:29
  Speaker 1: hard enough as it is, especially in Boston. Um, but
• 42:34
  Speaker 1: I've definitely like gotten away from that whole. I'm going
• 42:38
  Speaker 1: to wait for the one, and I'm gonna wait for
• 42:41
  Speaker 1: someone that I really like. You know, if I'm currently
• 42:44
  Speaker 1: dating someone and it's going well for a couple of
• 42:47
  Speaker 1: months or weeks or whatever, like and I have a
• 42:50
  Speaker 1: moment where I'm like, I feel comfortable enough right now
• 42:52
  Speaker 1: and they know, so let's give it a shot. That's
• 42:56
  Speaker 1: kind of my mindset right now. And it took me
• 42:58
  Speaker 1: a while to get in that mindset because the embarrassment
• 43:02
  Speaker 1: just like never went away. Yeah, and I think it
• 43:07
  Speaker 1: is something that's lovely. Of course, it's not like what
• 43:10
  Speaker 1: it looks like in movies or you know, sounds like
• 43:12
  Speaker 1: in books. But my advice would be lose it with
• 43:16
  Speaker 1: the person that you can kind of laugh about things with,
• 43:19
  Speaker 1: Like you're laughing in the middle of it, You're cracking
• 43:22
  Speaker 1: jokes and like sometimes it's really romantic and sometimes it's not.
• 43:26
  Speaker 1: Sometimes you're just like fooling around. So I mean it
• 43:29
  Speaker 1: might be helpful to be with somebody who, like you
• 43:31
  Speaker 1: can kind of joke around, laugh about it, and also
• 43:34
  Speaker 1: like you don't necessarily have to say it's your first time.
• 43:37
  Speaker 1: I think that's fine. Yeah, that's so true. I've definitely
• 43:41
  Speaker 1: been in relationships and and with men that I do
• 43:45
  Speaker 1: feel comfortable enough like not only telling them, but being like, yeah,
• 43:49
  Speaker 1: let's try. But as it continues, it's like, Okay, no,
• 43:53
  Speaker 1: I was wrong, Like I'm not ready for this, please
• 43:56
  Speaker 1: back up. Yeah. I also I would say, I don't know, Catherine,
• 44:00
  Speaker 1: I disagree with that. Maybe calling you can speak to us,
• 44:02
  Speaker 1: but I think like if you're gonna if you've waited
• 44:05
  Speaker 1: this long, right, Which isn't it like a ridiculous amount
• 44:09
  Speaker 1: of time. It's a it's a logical amount of time,
• 44:11
  Speaker 1: Like you've waited this long and you're not going to
• 44:13
  Speaker 1: jump to Like, why not have that experience be on
• 44:16
  Speaker 1: the table with the person that you're going to have
• 44:18
  Speaker 1: it with so that they can be even more careful
• 44:20
  Speaker 1: and like caring you know about the situation, because if
• 44:25
  Speaker 1: you have been, you know, saving yourself for the right person,
• 44:29
  Speaker 1: you know, it doesn't have to mean it's your husband,
• 44:31
  Speaker 1: but the right person, someone who cares for you deeply, right,
• 44:34
  Speaker 1: that's all you really need is somebody who really cares
• 44:36
  Speaker 1: about you. Why not have that experience together so that
• 44:39
  Speaker 1: they know going in you know that it is your
• 44:42
  Speaker 1: first time, because it can be a more delicate situation. Yeah,
• 44:45
  Speaker 1: that's true, that's true. I completely I do agree with that.
• 44:48
  Speaker 1: I think that you know, he should know, and you
• 44:50
  Speaker 1: should feel totally comfortable with him, and it gives him
• 44:53
  Speaker 1: the opportunity to make you feel even more comfortable and
• 44:56
  Speaker 1: even safer. And if it goes the other way, then
• 44:58
  Speaker 1: it's not meant to be with him exactly. And I
• 45:01
  Speaker 1: think me as a person, I would feel so guilty
• 45:04
  Speaker 1: if like I didn't tell them, and then it would
• 45:07
  Speaker 1: just be like in the back of my head and
• 45:08
  Speaker 1: I'd be like, I'm such a fucking horrible person. Well,
• 45:12
  Speaker 1: then you have your answer about whether you should tell them.
• 45:15
  Speaker 1: That's true. So that's why I always That's why I've
• 45:18
  Speaker 1: always told people, because I have a feeling I would
• 45:20
  Speaker 1: just feel like so guilty, and I know what I'm
• 45:22
  Speaker 1: not like obligated to tell like my partner. But at
• 45:26
  Speaker 1: the same time, it's like I wish I could just
• 45:28
  Speaker 1: like not and not have those feelings of like anxiety
• 45:32
  Speaker 1: and guilt over it and just let it happen. Yeah,
• 45:35
  Speaker 1: I think it's special, Like it's special. Embrace the fact
• 45:38
  Speaker 1: that it's special. Nothing embarrassing, Yeah, embarrassing losing your virginity
• 45:42
  Speaker 1: when you're you know, a teenager to someone that you
• 45:44
  Speaker 1: don't even know, whose name you don't remember the point
• 45:47
  Speaker 1: of that. No, mine was Mitch, I remember who I
• 45:51
  Speaker 1: lost my virginity too. But he knew I was a
• 45:54
  Speaker 1: virgin and he was very careful with me. Yeah. I
• 45:58
  Speaker 1: have a friend who she actually in her thirties and
• 46:01
  Speaker 1: just lost her virginity. But when you say, like all
• 46:03
  Speaker 1: my friends were talking really easily about this. I remember
• 46:06
  Speaker 1: there was a time when a bunch of us friends
• 46:07
  Speaker 1: were talking and one of the girls was like, how
• 46:09
  Speaker 1: did everybody lose their virginity? And when it got to her,
• 46:12
  Speaker 1: it was like, well, it almost happened this one time,
• 46:15
  Speaker 1: and then it didn't, and you know, she handled it well.
• 46:18
  Speaker 1: But at the same time, like she's now at a
• 46:21
  Speaker 1: place in her life where like she's having the first
• 46:24
  Speaker 1: great love of her life, and it's just like all
• 46:27
  Speaker 1: this anxiety she had around it, all of these worries,
• 46:32
  Speaker 1: they're gone in like the blink of an eye, and
• 46:34
  Speaker 1: she's having so much fun, and it's just you know,
• 46:37
  Speaker 1: when it happens, that happens. Yeah, I also feel like
• 46:41
  Speaker 1: the pandemic didn't really help me at all. I moved
• 46:45
  Speaker 1: to Boston in followed nineteen, so we only had a
• 46:48
  Speaker 1: window of like a couple of months to go out
• 46:50
  Speaker 1: there and date and meet new people. And then it
• 46:52
  Speaker 1: was like, oh, just kidding, you're stuck inside, you're alone.
• 46:58
  Speaker 1: We'll just hang in there. You'll meet somebody who is
• 47:00
  Speaker 1: perfect for you and will make you feel special and
• 47:03
  Speaker 1: it won't matter that you're a virgin. It's very true.
• 47:07
  Speaker 1: Thank you, Thanks for calling Emma, you're adorable. Oh, thank you.
• 47:11
  Speaker 1: So you're adorable, virgin. Thank you so much. Hey, I
• 47:16
  Speaker 1: that's a great compliment. I'm gonna add that to my
• 47:20
  Speaker 1: like LinkedIn profile. Yeah, all right, thanks Emma. Let us
• 47:28
  Speaker 1: know how it goes. I will keep you posted. Jay
• 47:32
  Speaker 1: sounds good. Nice to meet you. Bye. Nice to meet
• 47:35
  Speaker 1: you too, Emma. Bye, Thank you. She reminds me of
• 47:38
  Speaker 1: me when I mean totally like, what a better question
• 47:41
  Speaker 1: to have a caller call in with. She's good, good producing, Catherine, Well,
• 47:45
  Speaker 1: thank you. I mean this next one is pretty on
• 47:48
  Speaker 1: the nose for you as well, Colleen. So our next
• 47:51
  Speaker 1: caller is Ashley. She is thirty one and a stay
• 47:55
  Speaker 1: at home mom. She says, Dear Chelsea, my mom and
• 47:59
  Speaker 1: I have always has been very close. However, I love
• 48:02
  Speaker 1: my independence and personal space, and she is about as
• 48:05
  Speaker 1: codependent as they come. We talk every day on the phone,
• 48:09
  Speaker 1: text back and forth numerous times a day, and she
• 48:11
  Speaker 1: shows up at my house unannounced all the time. She
• 48:15
  Speaker 1: has no boundaries and relies on my kids and I
• 48:17
  Speaker 1: for her fulfillment in life. Sadly, my brother and only
• 48:21
  Speaker 1: sibling passed away four years ago, which puts an even
• 48:24
  Speaker 1: bigger burden and responsibility on me to be there for
• 48:27
  Speaker 1: her emotionally since her partner is not at all. I
• 48:30
  Speaker 1: know how much the daily calls and texts mean to her,
• 48:33
  Speaker 1: but I can't help but feel super annoyed when I
• 48:35
  Speaker 1: have to check in with her and tell her every
• 48:37
  Speaker 1: detail of my life. So my question is am I
• 48:40
  Speaker 1: being a bit for wanting and needing my own space
• 48:43
  Speaker 1: when I know how much she needs me. Any help
• 48:45
  Speaker 1: on how to navigate this relationship would be so helpful.
• 48:48
  Speaker 1: I want to be there for her, but being married
• 48:50
  Speaker 1: with three kids is a very busy life, and I
• 48:52
  Speaker 1: can't help but feel that she just adds to the stress.
• 48:55
  Speaker 1: With love Ashley, Oh, Hi, Ashley, Hi, Ashley, Hi, Hi, Hi.
• 49:03
  Speaker 1: This is my friend Colleen. She's guess Hi Colleen. Hey, Chelsea, Hey,
• 49:09
  Speaker 1: So tell us what's going on? So your mom is
• 49:11
  Speaker 1: around a lot? Yeah, she is. We live only a
• 49:16
  Speaker 1: few miles away from each other, and like I said
• 49:20
  Speaker 1: in the letter, my brother passed away and I don't
• 49:22
  Speaker 1: have any other siblings. So I try to be patient
• 49:25
  Speaker 1: with her and let her over whenever she wants to come,
• 49:28
  Speaker 1: and always stay in touch, But sometimes it's just annoying
• 49:32
  Speaker 1: being there for her all the time. Yeah, that's a
• 49:36
  Speaker 1: tough one because I can understand. Yeah, but I mean
• 49:39
  Speaker 1: she I mean, how can you create boundaries now, I
• 49:41
  Speaker 1: guess is the question right when there haven't been any before?
• 49:46
  Speaker 1: How long have you guys lived this close to each other? Oh,
• 49:49
  Speaker 1: we've always lived really, We've always been super tight growing up.
• 49:53
  Speaker 1: She was a single mom. My parents got divorced when
• 49:56
  Speaker 1: I was a baby, so we were always her. My
• 49:59
  Speaker 1: brother and I were always really super tighten it, and
• 50:02
  Speaker 1: she was always like the cool, fun mom. Uh. I mean,
• 50:06
  Speaker 1: as you know, when you lose someone in your family,
• 50:10
  Speaker 1: but it's like to just see your parents crumble. In
• 50:14
  Speaker 1: a sense, it was different for you, I know, because
• 50:16
  Speaker 1: you were a child at the time. But it really
• 50:19
  Speaker 1: does just change a person. And she is very sensitive
• 50:24
  Speaker 1: and I try to not hurt her feelings to be
• 50:28
  Speaker 1: there for her, but sometimes it's just like I have
• 50:31
  Speaker 1: a lot of my own ship going on, and it
• 50:33
  Speaker 1: takes a lot out of me to take on her
• 50:37
  Speaker 1: stress and depression, you know. Yeah, Yeah, this is such
• 50:41
  Speaker 1: a tricky area because your mom sounds like she's you know,
• 50:44
  Speaker 1: she's grieving too. You know, she lost her son. Even
• 50:47
  Speaker 1: though it's four years ago. You know that doesn't ever
• 50:49
  Speaker 1: go away for a parent. Yeah, and you're her only
• 50:53
  Speaker 1: family and your children are her only family. So it's
• 50:56
  Speaker 1: like you want to be sensitive and empathetic too to
• 50:59
  Speaker 1: the fact that she that you're the only ties she has. Yeah,
• 51:03
  Speaker 1: and that's why it's like my door is always open
• 51:06
  Speaker 1: for her, and she does totally take advantage of that.
• 51:08
  Speaker 1: But it's like I just I like my own personal space.
• 51:14
  Speaker 1: And I told Catherine before, like I moved out when
• 51:17
  Speaker 1: I was eighteen, haven't been back since. We don't have
• 51:19
  Speaker 1: the type of relationship where I've ever like relied on
• 51:22
  Speaker 1: her for anything or depended on her to provide anything
• 51:26
  Speaker 1: for me and my family. I've always just been a
• 51:28
  Speaker 1: very independent person and I let her in as much
• 51:33
  Speaker 1: as I can, knowing how much it means to her.
• 51:35
  Speaker 1: But it really does just sometimes just suck the life
• 51:38
  Speaker 1: out of me, knowing how much it takes to be
• 51:42
  Speaker 1: there for her. Well, is there any other sort of
• 51:45
  Speaker 1: configuration you can work out with her, Like, is there
• 51:48
  Speaker 1: a a lot of time you can give her with
• 51:50
  Speaker 1: each of the kids alone or maybe all of them together,
• 51:53
  Speaker 1: so it's less on you and more on like you know,
• 51:57
  Speaker 1: like what about dropping one of your children off to
• 51:59
  Speaker 1: her for like two hours a week and they each
• 52:01
  Speaker 1: get their one on one time with grandma, So that
• 52:03
  Speaker 1: doesn't necessarily involve you or her being at your house,
• 52:06
  Speaker 1: like if you frame it's or her like mom, this
• 52:09
  Speaker 1: is for the kids. They get really jealous when you
• 52:11
  Speaker 1: spend you know, you can make up whatever you want
• 52:13
  Speaker 1: when you're with them all together. They all want one
• 52:15
  Speaker 1: on one time. You know, I think this might be
• 52:18
  Speaker 1: a great idea for both of you. You guys, you
• 52:20
  Speaker 1: get each kid for two hours a week at your
• 52:23
  Speaker 1: house and you do your thing with them alone, or
• 52:26
  Speaker 1: she could take them all out without you, you know, like,
• 52:30
  Speaker 1: is do you trust her to do that? Or is
• 52:31
  Speaker 1: she like able bodied and everything? Yeah? Oh yeah. She
• 52:35
  Speaker 1: is an absolutely phenomenal grandma. She's very super close to
• 52:40
  Speaker 1: my kids, Like they do probably go over her house
• 52:44
  Speaker 1: a couple of times a week, which is great. But
• 52:46
  Speaker 1: it's more so the thing that gets under my skin
• 52:49
  Speaker 1: is like when she pops over all the time unannounced.
• 52:53
  Speaker 1: She never feels like she needs to call and say like, hey,
• 52:57
  Speaker 1: I'm around the neighborhood. You mind if I pop over?
• 52:59
  Speaker 1: Is now a good time? It's just a sense of
• 53:01
  Speaker 1: like she's entitled the come over whenever she wants, or
• 53:04
  Speaker 1: like if she comes over and I'm not there, she'll
• 53:07
  Speaker 1: call me and be like, hey, where you at, It's like,
• 53:09
  Speaker 1: I don't know you an explanation of where I'm at.
• 53:12
  Speaker 1: Those are more so the things that really get under
• 53:14
  Speaker 1: my skin. It's instead of like not being there for her,
• 53:17
  Speaker 1: I'm always there to talk and all that, but it's
• 53:20
  Speaker 1: just like the sense of me owing her all these
• 53:23
  Speaker 1: explanations about my personal life when I just it's like,
• 53:26
  Speaker 1: I'm an adult. I'm thirty one years old. I shouldn't
• 53:28
  Speaker 1: be needed to check in with you every single day.
• 53:31
  Speaker 1: It's almost like when she calls when I how I
• 53:34
  Speaker 1: told you earlier, when she says, just doing my daily
• 53:37
  Speaker 1: check in, it's like that's that's not necessary. And whenever
• 53:41
  Speaker 1: she's like, hey, what are you doing, it's always the
• 53:43
  Speaker 1: same thing. Nothing new, nothing new because I just talked
• 53:45
  Speaker 1: to you yesterday. It's like if we went more than
• 53:47
  Speaker 1: a few days without talking to each other, then I
• 53:50
  Speaker 1: would have more to fill her in on and vice versa.
• 53:52
  Speaker 1: But it's like she already knows every aspect of my
• 53:55
  Speaker 1: life that it's like I just have to go with
• 53:58
  Speaker 1: it just because I know that maybe what she needs
• 54:01
  Speaker 1: now in the moment, it's just it's off to someone.
• 54:03
  Speaker 1: They're trying not to let it annoy me. Yeah, I
• 54:06
  Speaker 1: agree with Chelsea that there is a conversation that has
• 54:09
  Speaker 1: to happen, and putting some parameters, like whatever that signal
• 54:14
  Speaker 1: is in place might be might be really helpful. So
• 54:17
  Speaker 1: maybe it's like, hey, mom, like the kids are back
• 54:20
  Speaker 1: in school now, schedules have changed, and we really need
• 54:23
  Speaker 1: to kind of know what to expect each day. So
• 54:26
  Speaker 1: you know what, if the light is on on the
• 54:28
  Speaker 1: front porch, like, feel free to come on in. If
• 54:30
  Speaker 1: it's not, we might just need some family time or
• 54:33
  Speaker 1: have a busy school work night that night, or you know,
• 54:36
  Speaker 1: whatever stage your kids are in, put it on something else.
• 54:39
  Speaker 1: Things are changing because of X y Z. The world's
• 54:41
  Speaker 1: kind of getting back to normal, and so we need
• 54:43
  Speaker 1: to have a little bit of family time. That's just
• 54:45
  Speaker 1: our nuclear not nuclear nucule I'm usually yes. My parents
• 54:54
  Speaker 1: actually they have a place in in Phoenix where they
• 54:57
  Speaker 1: live half the year, and then they just sold my
• 54:59
  Speaker 1: childhood home this last year, and so they've spent a
• 55:02
  Speaker 1: few weeks living in what we call the suite at
• 55:06
  Speaker 1: my sister's house. They've got their own bedroom with a
• 55:09
  Speaker 1: bathroom and all that nice stuff. But when they are
• 55:12
  Speaker 1: fun with the kids popping in, I have teenage niece
• 55:14
  Speaker 1: and nephew on that side. They'll leave the door open
• 55:17
  Speaker 1: and when the door is open, the kids can come
• 55:19
  Speaker 1: in talk about their day. But when they close the door,
• 55:22
  Speaker 1: the kids know like grandma and Grandpa are not ready
• 55:25
  Speaker 1: to chat, or they're having coffee together, or they're doing whatever,
• 55:29
  Speaker 1: and so it's sort of their signal. But yeah, maybe
• 55:31
  Speaker 1: there's some sort of a signal. And maybe it's also
• 55:33
  Speaker 1: like we're going to do this and have the light
• 55:36
  Speaker 1: on sometimes and have the light off sometimes, but we're
• 55:38
  Speaker 1: also going to do game night every Sunday. So it's
• 55:40
  Speaker 1: that sort of like creating a compromise before you even
• 55:43
  Speaker 1: need to. Yeah, how old are your children? Six and one? Okay,
• 55:50
  Speaker 1: well then you can totally pin it on them anyway,
• 55:52
  Speaker 1: you know, right right right? She has such a help
• 55:58
  Speaker 1: when she takes them, yeah eight, So I mean take
• 56:01
  Speaker 1: advantage of the fact that she wants to take them
• 56:03
  Speaker 1: and maybe lean in on that because that's a moment
• 56:05
  Speaker 1: for you to be okay, some alone time. Yeah, maybe
• 56:08
  Speaker 1: made into that and she's not. You know, setting up
• 56:11
  Speaker 1: boundaries sounds like, oh, it's gonna be a conversation. It's
• 56:13
  Speaker 1: gonna have hurt feelings, and it always does. But eventually,
• 56:18
  Speaker 1: after the initial wear and tear of a conversation like that,
• 56:22
  Speaker 1: it invokes respect in the relationship and both sides, you know,
• 56:26
  Speaker 1: because people start to understand, oh, it's not just a
• 56:28
  Speaker 1: free for all. I can't just show up because you know,
• 56:30
  Speaker 1: if my best friend said to me, you can't stop you.
• 56:32
  Speaker 1: I need you to call before you start coming over,
• 56:34
  Speaker 1: I'd be like, wait, what I thought we had an
• 56:36
  Speaker 1: understanding like I would feelings would be hurt. Oh sorry,
• 56:39
  Speaker 1: my feelings would be hurt. My back is all fucked up,
• 56:41
  Speaker 1: so I can't sit still. I'm just like, I don't
• 56:45
  Speaker 1: want you to think I'm masturbating during this call. I
• 56:48
  Speaker 1: know it's a sexy subject, but feelings are hurt. But like,
• 56:53
  Speaker 1: people do respect boundaries, so you just want to draw
• 56:56
  Speaker 1: them lightly, put it out there in a certain way,
• 56:59
  Speaker 1: like I want to be around the family, I love
• 57:01
  Speaker 1: you to pieces, I'm noticing I'm needing a little bit
• 57:04
  Speaker 1: more alone time, and so the nicest way you can
• 57:07
  Speaker 1: say that and figure out the ways to get that
• 57:10
  Speaker 1: alone time while maybe sometimes you're also providing her with
• 57:13
  Speaker 1: time with the children. You know, it sounds like a
• 57:15
  Speaker 1: good compromise. And then and you know what Catherine said.
• 57:19
  Speaker 1: I mean, Colleen, you haven't chipped in yet or chimed
• 57:21
  Speaker 1: in yet. Do you have anything you want to I
• 57:23
  Speaker 1: agree a lot with what Catherine said. I think that
• 57:25
  Speaker 1: you need to carve out time. I like the idea
• 57:28
  Speaker 1: of actually having the conversation with your mom and just
• 57:31
  Speaker 1: say maybe you even say, you know, this day and
• 57:34
  Speaker 1: this day, we're busy with this. How about you come over,
• 57:37
  Speaker 1: like she said, on Sunday for family game night, or
• 57:40
  Speaker 1: you just make it certain days. I mean, I'm I'm
• 57:42
  Speaker 1: super close with my family and I talked to them
• 57:45
  Speaker 1: every single day and there are yeah, there are days
• 57:48
  Speaker 1: I have nothing to say and it's just and I
• 57:50
  Speaker 1: tell them I got nothing for you today. But you
• 57:52
  Speaker 1: know what, it's about hearing their voice and and connecting
• 57:57
  Speaker 1: with them because they need it as much as you do.
• 58:00
  Speaker 1: And you're so lucky to have your mom be here,
• 58:04
  Speaker 1: and one day she won't be And so for me,
• 58:08
  Speaker 1: I'm getting emotional and I'm sorry, but um, she's been
• 58:12
  Speaker 1: crying the whole episode, so I don't worry about it.
• 58:14
  Speaker 1: My parents are here for two months visiting me, and
• 58:17
  Speaker 1: it's such a blessing. And I try to see them
• 58:20
  Speaker 1: every single day for some time, and they know they
• 58:23
  Speaker 1: have boundaries and they're like, you guys, have your family time.
• 58:27
  Speaker 1: We'll see you tomorrow. We're gonna we're gonna do our
• 58:29
  Speaker 1: own thing today. And I really appreciate that because it does.
• 58:32
  Speaker 1: It takes the pressure off of me. They know, you know,
• 58:35
  Speaker 1: So if your mom's not really getting the hint, you know,
• 58:38
  Speaker 1: have a conversation with her, just tell her how much
• 58:42
  Speaker 1: you love her and you love seeing her, but you
• 58:44
  Speaker 1: need some time. I mean, I'm a mom too, and
• 58:47
  Speaker 1: it's hard and you need some alone time. Yeah, I mean,
• 58:51
  Speaker 1: even if it's just you and your kids, you need
• 58:53
  Speaker 1: just you and your kids sometimes, just so I get it.
• 58:56
  Speaker 1: So just be gentle with her. She sounds like a
• 58:58
  Speaker 1: lovely woman. She is, and I do love her so much.
• 59:01
  Speaker 1: And I felt so guilty even writing this submission. I
• 59:04
  Speaker 1: felt like I was like going behind her back and
• 59:05
  Speaker 1: betray or even just talking about her like this, because
• 59:08
  Speaker 1: she is an amazing woman and we always have been
• 59:11
  Speaker 1: so tight, and like I know, she's not here forever,
• 59:14
  Speaker 1: and and she loves to remind me of that too.
• 59:17
  Speaker 1: She'll say, you'll miss me one day. I'm like, I know,
• 59:20
  Speaker 1: I know, but it's like you said, I think it's
• 59:24
  Speaker 1: a good idea to just come at her in like
• 59:27
  Speaker 1: a loving way, in a calm way, instead of kind
• 59:30
  Speaker 1: of you're annoying me. Give me, because if you dont
• 59:35
  Speaker 1: want to address it, it might come out that way.
• 59:36
  Speaker 1: You know, it's good, And it has in the past
• 59:40
  Speaker 1: where I have tried to address it and I have
• 59:42
  Speaker 1: kind of like snapped a little bit, and she will
• 59:45
  Speaker 1: like it does hurt her feelings. And you can think
• 59:47
  Speaker 1: of just real quick, one time in particular, off the
• 59:49
  Speaker 1: top of my head, I had just had a baby
• 59:52
  Speaker 1: and my son was like five days old, and she
• 59:56
  Speaker 1: just kept showing up and I'm like, mom, you've been
• 59:58
  Speaker 1: here six times in the last five days, like I'm
• 1:00:01
  Speaker 1: trying to figure out how to breastfeed. Our sleep schedules
• 1:00:04
  Speaker 1: are completely all over the place, Like please just call
• 1:00:08
  Speaker 1: before you come, and she just started crying. It's like okay, okay,
• 1:00:13
  Speaker 1: oh God, that conversation didn't go the way I hoped,
• 1:00:17
  Speaker 1: Like I just made her cry. She left, Yeah, that's
• 1:00:20
  Speaker 1: another way to also go at it is to just
• 1:00:23
  Speaker 1: blame yourself. I'm feeling slightly overwhelmed lately. I'm feeling irritable lately.
• 1:00:28
  Speaker 1: I'm feeling like I need some more space. So if
• 1:00:31
  Speaker 1: you can help me through this time by giving me
• 1:00:34
  Speaker 1: a little bit of extra space and a little bit
• 1:00:36
  Speaker 1: of a more alone time, I'd be so appreciative. You know,
• 1:00:39
  Speaker 1: if you come at it like it's your issue, that
• 1:00:43
  Speaker 1: is a really good, that's really good angle tof com
• 1:00:45
  Speaker 1: come into conversation like that because it is me. Yeah, yeah,
• 1:00:52
  Speaker 1: yeah it is. I mean, listen, everyone annoys the fucking
• 1:00:54
  Speaker 1: ship out of me. So you don't have to tell
• 1:00:55
  Speaker 1: me twice about your mother coming over too often. I
• 1:00:58
  Speaker 1: don't have I get it, I get it. But thank you.
• 1:01:01
  Speaker 1: I thought you would. That's why I wrote in I'm
• 1:01:03
  Speaker 1: like you. You get it from all angles. You've experienced loss,
• 1:01:07
  Speaker 1: and you also seem like the type of person that
• 1:01:10
  Speaker 1: does like your own personal space. So I really appreciate
• 1:01:14
  Speaker 1: your advice. Well, good luck, Ashley. Let us know how
• 1:01:17
  Speaker 1: it goes. Thanks. I will and I absolutely love your book.
• 1:01:21
  Speaker 1: Life Will Be the Death of Me has helped me
• 1:01:23
  Speaker 1: out so much. Thank you so much for everything you
• 1:01:25
  Speaker 1: put out into the world. It really does help. Oh, thanks, Ashley,
• 1:01:29
  Speaker 1: I appreciate that. Welcome. You're welcome. Thank you, take care
• 1:01:33
  Speaker 1: you too. Bye bye. All of our callers are always
• 1:01:37
  Speaker 1: so cool. Yeah, they're cool. They're cute there, I love it,
• 1:01:42
  Speaker 1: so nice, normal, they're not fucking weirdos, you know what
• 1:01:46
  Speaker 1: I mean. Well, a couple of times, but usually those
• 1:01:48
  Speaker 1: are men. Yeah, yeah, we try to avoid those. We
• 1:01:52
  Speaker 1: are going to take a quick break so you can
• 1:01:54
  Speaker 1: hear and add and then we'll be right back. So
• 1:02:00
  Speaker 1: our next question comes from Caitlin. Caitlin says, Dear Chelsea,
• 1:02:06
  Speaker 1: my eight year old daughter determined that the way for
• 1:02:08
  Speaker 1: her to do whatever the funk she wants is to
• 1:02:11
  Speaker 1: respond with I forgot you told me not to do that,
• 1:02:15
  Speaker 1: or I didn't hear you say that. Engaging with her
• 1:02:18
  Speaker 1: and entertaining her lame excuses is out of the question
• 1:02:21
  Speaker 1: because I know it's all bullshit and I won't pretend otherwise.
• 1:02:24
  Speaker 1: I want to wrap up these shenanigans without opening the
• 1:02:27
  Speaker 1: conversation up for an argument. How would you handle the
• 1:02:29
  Speaker 1: nieces and nephews that you've been saddled with if they
• 1:02:32
  Speaker 1: tried to pull this ship. A five milligram gummy with
• 1:02:35
  Speaker 1: a margarita definitely helps, but I appreciate any additional advice
• 1:02:39
  Speaker 1: you can provide. Cheers, Caitlin. I think anytime she says
• 1:02:44
  Speaker 1: anything like that, I didn't hear you, I don't remember
• 1:02:47
  Speaker 1: you telling me that, then something there's a punishment that
• 1:02:50
  Speaker 1: goes along with that because she wasn't paying attention or
• 1:02:54
  Speaker 1: she's conveniently forgetting. So there has to be a repercussion
• 1:02:57
  Speaker 1: for any time she says that, right, like whether it's
• 1:03:00
  Speaker 1: screen time. Well it's eight years old, so I don't
• 1:03:03
  Speaker 1: know if she's got a phone yet or what, but yeah,
• 1:03:06
  Speaker 1: I nipped that in the bud right now. How she's eleven?
• 1:03:10
  Speaker 1: And have you ever had to deal with this kind
• 1:03:12
  Speaker 1: of thing? Yeah? Yeah, it is hard. It is hard
• 1:03:17
  Speaker 1: because yeah, she'll say things and I know that she's
• 1:03:20
  Speaker 1: not telling the truth, or it drives you nuts because
• 1:03:24
  Speaker 1: you're like, no, you're I know, you're not telling the truth.
• 1:03:28
  Speaker 1: I know, I know, you know. But there has to
• 1:03:30
  Speaker 1: be repercussions for everything. There has to be. I mean,
• 1:03:34
  Speaker 1: there was one time she was forgetting her jacket at school.
• 1:03:38
  Speaker 1: She forget a lot of things, but this is just
• 1:03:40
  Speaker 1: an example, but forgetting her jacket at school every day
• 1:03:44
  Speaker 1: every day, and we'd lose jackets, they'd be gone, and
• 1:03:46
  Speaker 1: I'm like, we can't keep buying you jackets. And it
• 1:03:50
  Speaker 1: was just like, okay, well, you know what, the next
• 1:03:52
  Speaker 1: time you forget it, you're gonna give me your phone
• 1:03:55
  Speaker 1: for the day, and doesn't forget her jacket anymore. That
• 1:03:59
  Speaker 1: was easy, you know. I mean, there has to be
• 1:04:01
  Speaker 1: repercussions for things. So it's either if she has a
• 1:04:04
  Speaker 1: phone that needs to be taken away with her anytime
• 1:04:06
  Speaker 1: she forgets something or she doesn't hear something, then you
• 1:04:09
  Speaker 1: can take away your phone. If she doesn't have a phone,
• 1:04:11
  Speaker 1: make it screen time. I'm sure she loves the most.
• 1:04:14
  Speaker 1: Whatever you take away, it's got to be a little
• 1:04:17
  Speaker 1: bit hurtful. It's got to hurt a little bit. Yeah, yeah,
• 1:04:20
  Speaker 1: take it away, take a couple of hours away at night,
• 1:04:22
  Speaker 1: or take it away altogether. I mean, I'm all about that,
• 1:04:25
  Speaker 1: But you know, parents are so scared of their children
• 1:04:27
  Speaker 1: not on screen time anymore. Like, okay, I'd take it
• 1:04:31
  Speaker 1: away completely. What will they do. I'm like, well, I
• 1:04:34
  Speaker 1: don't know what the funk we did, which was not
• 1:04:36
  Speaker 1: be on our screens, but Yeah, you have to instill
• 1:04:40
  Speaker 1: Like I mean, she's doing that because she can get
• 1:04:42
  Speaker 1: away with it, So stop letting her get away with it. Yeah,
• 1:04:44
  Speaker 1: problem solved. Okay, and our last email comes from Darla.
• 1:04:50
  Speaker 1: Dear Chelsea. I'm a forty three year old single mother
• 1:04:53
  Speaker 1: of two. I recently had a third child as a surrogate.
• 1:04:56
  Speaker 1: Well before that, I was married in a loveless, sexless
• 1:04:59
  Speaker 1: marror of ten years, and in between the marriage and
• 1:05:02
  Speaker 1: the surrogacy, I was in a five year relationship with
• 1:05:05
  Speaker 1: a struggling musician. Before I met the musician, I had
• 1:05:08
  Speaker 1: never really enjoyed sex. When we came together, I was
• 1:05:11
  Speaker 1: in my late thirties and had the first of many, many,
• 1:05:14
  Speaker 1: many orgasms with that guy. I really feel like he
• 1:05:18
  Speaker 1: saved me, and I feel like he was my true
• 1:05:20
  Speaker 1: first love. As much as he says he wanted me
• 1:05:23
  Speaker 1: and the kids to be his family, he never really
• 1:05:25
  Speaker 1: blended well when we were all four together. I've always
• 1:05:29
  Speaker 1: struggled with low self esteem, but I feel like I've
• 1:05:31
  Speaker 1: overcome that to a large degree simply by getting older.
• 1:05:35
  Speaker 1: But now, after having had three vaginal births and tearing
• 1:05:38
  Speaker 1: pretty much the whole caslapis in this last delivery and
• 1:05:42
  Speaker 1: completely wrecking my breasts with nursing and pumping. Think rocks
• 1:05:45
  Speaker 1: and socks. Do I go back to the guy who
• 1:05:48
  Speaker 1: I know isn't right but loves me and accepts my
• 1:05:51
  Speaker 1: body we have unreal sexual chemistry. Or do I roll
• 1:05:54
  Speaker 1: the dice and maybe go online for dating. I've never
• 1:05:57
  Speaker 1: done that, By the way, I definitely want to partner,
• 1:06:00
  Speaker 1: not casual random sex. Thanks Darla. I thought you said
• 1:06:03
  Speaker 1: she's had her third child with a surrogate. She was
• 1:06:07
  Speaker 1: the surrogate. Oh, she was a surrogate for someone else. Yes,
• 1:06:11
  Speaker 1: so she's has two of her own children, okay, not three? Okay.
• 1:06:16
  Speaker 1: So she's asking if she should go back to the
• 1:06:18
  Speaker 1: guy that she has great sex with right but like
• 1:06:23
  Speaker 1: not doesn't really jell with her with the family, or
• 1:06:25
  Speaker 1: whether she should go online and find she should go
• 1:06:29
  Speaker 1: and find someone else. She's got to find someone that
• 1:06:32
  Speaker 1: accepts her family. I think he well, yeah, ay, and yeah,
• 1:06:36
  Speaker 1: you have to find somebody who's like perfect all the
• 1:06:38
  Speaker 1: way around, and he's got all the qualities that you're
• 1:06:41
  Speaker 1: looking for, not one of them. Sexual chemistry is only
• 1:06:43
  Speaker 1: one component of a relationship. Don't settle. We've been talking
• 1:06:47
  Speaker 1: about this NonStop. Do not settle for anything less than
• 1:06:50
  Speaker 1: what you deserve, and you decide what you deserve. And
• 1:06:53
  Speaker 1: if you think that that's all you deserve is a
• 1:06:56
  Speaker 1: good sexual chemistry partner, then then that's all you're gonna get.
• 1:06:59
  Speaker 1: But I would say to set your standards a little
• 1:07:01
  Speaker 1: bit higher and desire someone that's going to come in
• 1:07:04
  Speaker 1: except your family for what it is and how many
• 1:07:07
  Speaker 1: people there are, and be able to contribute in a
• 1:07:10
  Speaker 1: meaningful way. Maybe they'll even have some family of their
• 1:07:12
  Speaker 1: own that they're bringing to the table. And don't settle
• 1:07:15
  Speaker 1: until you find exactly what you're looking for. Also, the
• 1:07:20
  Speaker 1: language that she uses around her body like that, to
• 1:07:24
  Speaker 1: me is like thing number one to deal with. Like,
• 1:07:26
  Speaker 1: obviously this other guy thinks you're crazy hot. Someone else
• 1:07:29
  Speaker 1: will think you're crazy hot. But I think you've got
• 1:07:31
  Speaker 1: to fix some of the stuff that's going on inside
• 1:07:33
  Speaker 1: and what happens when you look at yourself in the mirror,
• 1:07:36
  Speaker 1: because I mean saying like, oh, my my breasts are
• 1:07:40
  Speaker 1: rocks and stocks, like it just hurts my heart for her, Like,
• 1:07:44
  Speaker 1: do some looking in the mirror and talking to yourself
• 1:07:48
  Speaker 1: about how beautiful you are, even if it feels cringe
• 1:07:51
  Speaker 1: e and fake and bullshit at the beginning. Do it.
• 1:07:54
  Speaker 1: It will change the way you see yourself, Like get
• 1:07:58
  Speaker 1: giggly and excited when you look at your yourself, even
• 1:08:01
  Speaker 1: if it feels like lying to yourself, be like, oh
• 1:08:03
  Speaker 1: my god, I look amazing today. There is something that
• 1:08:06
  Speaker 1: it does in your psyche that when you do start
• 1:08:09
  Speaker 1: dating again, people are going to be so attracted to
• 1:08:12
  Speaker 1: that that like positive radiant energy you have because you're
• 1:08:15
  Speaker 1: psyched about yourself and they'll be psyched about you too.
• 1:08:18
  Speaker 1: Confidence is everything, too, have confidence in yourself and and
• 1:08:23
  Speaker 1: know who you are. And yeah, don't settle, don't go back,
• 1:08:27
  Speaker 1: look forward, look for someone new. Also, yeah, I sorry
• 1:08:31
  Speaker 1: I skipped over that, Katherine. Thank you for bringing that though,
• 1:08:33
  Speaker 1: Like it does feel like the timing isn't necessarily right
• 1:08:36
  Speaker 1: for you to be like that to be your sole
• 1:08:38
  Speaker 1: mode of operation is finding a man. Maybe you should
• 1:08:43
  Speaker 1: spend a little bit more time with yourself and your girls,
• 1:08:47
  Speaker 1: Like you've been through a lot. You just had another
• 1:08:49
  Speaker 1: baby for somebody else, Like that's a lot, So I
• 1:08:53
  Speaker 1: think you should take a time out and like reinvest
• 1:08:57
  Speaker 1: yourself and yourself and your girls and your family or sorry,
• 1:09:00
  Speaker 1: I don't know. If you have boys or girls, but
• 1:09:01
  Speaker 1: in your family and and yeah, find the value in
• 1:09:05
  Speaker 1: yourself and do a little inside work before you start
• 1:09:08
  Speaker 1: to look for you know, another external factor to bring
• 1:09:12
  Speaker 1: into your family dynamic. Yeah that's really good. Well fill
• 1:09:17
  Speaker 1: us in. Let us know how it goes, Starla, keep
• 1:09:20
  Speaker 1: us posted. Yeah, let us know. Well, let us know
• 1:09:22
  Speaker 1: what develops and what doesn't develop. Yes, well, let's take
• 1:09:26
  Speaker 1: a quick break and we'll be back with Colleen and Chelsea. Okay,
• 1:09:35
  Speaker 1: we're back from our break. Colleen and I were gonna
• 1:09:37
  Speaker 1: have a snack, but she's not eating anything bad, so
• 1:09:39
  Speaker 1: we didn't have one. And now we're here we're just
• 1:09:41
  Speaker 1: having water. Yeah, it's so great. How many meals do
• 1:09:46
  Speaker 1: you have a day? Three? Or do you allow yourself? Okay,
• 1:09:49
  Speaker 1: this is I'm going to tell people what I eat
• 1:09:51
  Speaker 1: because a lot of people have been contacting me on
• 1:09:54
  Speaker 1: Instagram and stuff asking what I'm just gonna tell you
• 1:09:56
  Speaker 1: what I eat for breakfast, I have two hard boiled eggs.
• 1:10:00
  Speaker 1: That's it. For lunch, I have chicken salad. I make
• 1:10:04
  Speaker 1: chicken salad with a little mayo, and I eat Keto bread,
• 1:10:07
  Speaker 1: so I make like a little Keto sandwich. That's lunch
• 1:10:10
  Speaker 1: and then I eat a Keto bar from Costco. It's
• 1:10:13
  Speaker 1: like a little chocolate keto bar, and I have that
• 1:10:17
  Speaker 1: in between, and then for dinner, I have the Factor
• 1:10:19
  Speaker 1: meal or I go to CPIK and get my special
• 1:10:23
  Speaker 1: salad that I get at c p K. But yeah,
• 1:10:25
  Speaker 1: I don't eat out all that often. My husband and
• 1:10:27
  Speaker 1: I are both on this diet, so we're you know,
• 1:10:30
  Speaker 1: but yeah, that's pretty much what I eat, and so yeah,
• 1:10:32
  Speaker 1: I don't cheat. If I cheat, it's a keto dessert.
• 1:10:37
  Speaker 1: So Colleen, Yes, we also love when our guests ask
• 1:10:42
  Speaker 1: for a piece of advice from Chelsea. So is there
• 1:10:44
  Speaker 1: anything you'd like to ask Chelsea about? Well, I'm gonna
• 1:10:48
  Speaker 1: ask Chelsea a question about health because I really admire
• 1:10:53
  Speaker 1: and now she has Ben Bruno. You've got a trainer.
• 1:10:56
  Speaker 1: I don't have that, but but I your body's a
• 1:10:59
  Speaker 1: main thing. Thank you and your pictures in your bikinis.
• 1:11:04
  Speaker 1: I I'm like, okay, my goal. I've never worn a
• 1:11:06
  Speaker 1: bikini ever ever, so my goal is to look good
• 1:11:11
  Speaker 1: in a bikini. It doesn't have to be perfect. But
• 1:11:14
  Speaker 1: I got the pooch still, I had a baby, I
• 1:11:16
  Speaker 1: have the belly. I want to know how I can
• 1:11:20
  Speaker 1: tone my stomach. What exercises I can do at home
• 1:11:24
  Speaker 1: to just give me. I hate sit ups? I hate them,
• 1:11:27
  Speaker 1: so please don't tell me sit ups. But something I
• 1:11:29
  Speaker 1: don't know what to do to tone the stomach muscles,
• 1:11:32
  Speaker 1: to make me. You know, I don't have any definition yet,
• 1:11:35
  Speaker 1: So okay, I will tell you what I what my
• 1:11:39
  Speaker 1: experience has been. I with your diet that you're eating,
• 1:11:43
  Speaker 1: I don't know how long you go without eating food.
• 1:11:45
  Speaker 1: Is it like three to four hours or is it
• 1:11:46
  Speaker 1: five to six? Like? What is it? I don't know.
• 1:11:50
  Speaker 1: I'm like two hours, I'll eat, I'll eat a bar.
• 1:11:52
  Speaker 1: So okay, So I would say to try this every
• 1:11:55
  Speaker 1: so when I get my leanness, Like if I have
• 1:11:57
  Speaker 1: a photo shoot, this is what I do. I eat
• 1:12:00
  Speaker 1: and then I set my alarm and in between three
• 1:12:02
  Speaker 1: you have to wait three to four hours and then
• 1:12:05
  Speaker 1: I eat again. It could be something small, it could
• 1:12:07
  Speaker 1: be a full meal, whatever, but every three to four
• 1:12:10
  Speaker 1: hours to feed your body is how you get the
• 1:12:14
  Speaker 1: remaining last five pounds off. And you don't have to
• 1:12:17
  Speaker 1: do sit ups because as soon as your ribs, like
• 1:12:20
  Speaker 1: as soon as I start doing that, my fat just starts.
• 1:12:23
  Speaker 1: Because you need the fat to burn the fat, right,
• 1:12:25
  Speaker 1: so you can't deprive yourself a fat. So what you're doing,
• 1:12:29
  Speaker 1: your plan is working. But I would just say time it.
• 1:12:31
  Speaker 1: Don't eat every two hours, eat every three to four
• 1:12:34
  Speaker 1: hours with student wherever you're hungry between those three to
• 1:12:37
  Speaker 1: four hours, and see if that makes a difference, because
• 1:12:39
  Speaker 1: that's a way to kick start your metabolism. And that's
• 1:12:43
  Speaker 1: to have to get ready for anything, okay, because there's
• 1:12:45
  Speaker 1: like that last you know, five pounds and it's and
• 1:12:49
  Speaker 1: I have I've had a baby, whatever, but I mean
• 1:12:51
  Speaker 1: it's I'm not bikini ready yet, so I would like to,
• 1:12:55
  Speaker 1: you know, put on my bikini too and feel good
• 1:12:59
  Speaker 1: in it. Us feel good. And even if you're not
• 1:13:01
  Speaker 1: hungry with the three or fours, I know you will
• 1:13:03
  Speaker 1: because you eat pretty consistently, right, Like if you need
• 1:13:06
  Speaker 1: to split it up, Like the more you can do
• 1:13:08
  Speaker 1: that throughout the day, the more meals you can have,
• 1:13:10
  Speaker 1: the better. Like five small meals is better than four
• 1:13:14
  Speaker 1: small meals because it just keeps burning your fat and
• 1:13:17
  Speaker 1: it gets in there to those areas that are hard
• 1:13:19
  Speaker 1: to lose. So yeah, I'm doing it right now. And
• 1:13:22
  Speaker 1: I mean I can already tell I've lost body fat
• 1:13:25
  Speaker 1: and I've been doing it. It It takes you'll see a
• 1:13:27
  Speaker 1: difference in four or five days. But I wanted to
• 1:13:29
  Speaker 1: hear what happens with that with the diet thing too.
• 1:13:31
  Speaker 1: So you'll see a post and I'm keen and I'll
• 1:13:35
  Speaker 1: tell you, yeah, exactly Fitness for Life Chelsea Hammer. Well,
• 1:13:44
  Speaker 1: do you want to plug any socials or anything? Colleen?
• 1:13:47
  Speaker 1: That's fine, Colleen, What am I? I don't even know.
• 1:13:51
  Speaker 1: She tried to get the handle dumb dumb. She's like,
• 1:13:55
  Speaker 1: I'm not on Instagram or anything, and she's like, I'm
• 1:13:57
  Speaker 1: gonna get the handle, dumb dumb on Instagram. Colleen underscore Saragosa.
• 1:14:02
  Speaker 1: There you go. There you go. You can follow me
• 1:14:04
  Speaker 1: there or ask me any questions and I'll get back
• 1:14:07
  Speaker 1: to you. Thank you so much for joining us. Thank you.
• 1:14:10
  Speaker 1: This was so much fun, so much fun. I'm so
• 1:14:13
  Speaker 1: glad you came. Thank you, Colleen, Thank you, Gathrie. Where's
• 1:14:16
  Speaker 1: Joe Koy because I need to meet him here. Oh
• 1:14:22
  Speaker 1: my goodness, I said, I need to shake the hand
• 1:14:25
  Speaker 1: of the man. Okay, stand up dates. I have Winnipeg
• 1:14:31
  Speaker 1: coming up March tenth and March eleventh. There are still
• 1:14:34
  Speaker 1: tickets to the second show, which I believe the second
• 1:14:36
  Speaker 1: show was added on the tenth. Yes, we have two
• 1:14:39
  Speaker 1: shows coming up in Toronto March twelve. You can get
• 1:14:42
  Speaker 1: tickets to the late show still for that, and then
• 1:14:45
  Speaker 1: I'm going to Ottawa, and then I picked back up
• 1:14:48
  Speaker 1: in Cedar, Rapids, Des Moines and Omaha April fourteen fift
• 1:14:52
  Speaker 1: and then every weekend and through July. So pick your
• 1:14:57
  Speaker 1: tickets up, go buy them at Chelsea hand the dot
• 1:15:00
  Speaker 1: com and you'll see me on my People's Choice Award
• 1:15:04
  Speaker 1: winning comedy tour, the best tour of one and even
• 1:15:09
  Speaker 1: though it's I consider it to be the best tour
• 1:15:12
  Speaker 1: of two as well. Thank you also for tickets to
• 1:15:16
  Speaker 1: Vancouver and Calgary. I really apologize for all the changing
• 1:15:20
  Speaker 1: of dates, but now the Grammys have been rescheduled for
• 1:15:23
  Speaker 1: the day that I was going to reschedule my Vancouver dates.
• 1:15:26
  Speaker 1: And I don't get nominated for Grammys very often people,
• 1:15:29
  Speaker 1: so I have to go to those. So we are
• 1:15:31
  Speaker 1: rescheduling again the Vancouver and Calgary dates. They are most
• 1:15:35
  Speaker 1: likely to be rescheduled in August. But you can always
• 1:15:37
  Speaker 1: check my website we will update or Instagram or Twitter.
• 1:15:40
  Speaker 1: We updated all the time and as soon as we
• 1:15:43
  Speaker 1: have those dates locked in, you will hear about it,
• 1:15:45
  Speaker 1: so my apologies and any tickets you have will be
• 1:15:49
  Speaker 1: honored for those new rescheduled dates. And if you like
• 1:15:52
  Speaker 1: to get advice from Chelsea and one of her guests,
• 1:15:54
  Speaker 1: please write into Dear Chelsea Project at gmail dot com