Latest / The Dr. Sarah Hensley Show / Episode 52, Season 2: Why We Get Attached to People We've Never Met: Parasocial Relationships

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Episode 52, Season 2: Why We Get Attached to People We've Never Met: Parasocial Relationships · The Dr. Sarah Hensley Show

• 0:11
  Speaker 1: Welcome to the Love Doc Podcast soon to be The
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: Doctor Sarah Hinsley Show. I am your co host Raina
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: Butcher here with Doctor Sarah Hensley. Guys, we're so excited.
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: We are at the end here of season two, soon
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: to start season three, like I said, which will officially
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: be our new branding under the Doctor Sarah Hinsley Show
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: in the new studio, in the new studio. We just
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: can't tell you guys enough about it because we were
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: just super pumped. We are so pumped to be in
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: our new space for so many reasons, not just because
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: it gives us more creative ability, but just we have
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: free range to just sort of do what we want
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: to do when we want to do it.
• 0:50
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's going to be a whole content creation space.
• 0:53
  Speaker 2: So you're going to see a little bit less carline
• 0:55
  Speaker 2: relationship advice. It'll still be there, but a little bit
• 0:59
  Speaker 2: more cinematic. Yea relationship relationship advice.
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: It'll be better. Yeah, that'll be better. I think there's
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: just a ton of ways that we could really spin
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: your content, because I do I find that when you're
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: in the car line, like you are really your direct,
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: most authentic self. But I think that you can be
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: that you're that here too. But I've seen, like when
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: we're trying to do different content, just because it feels
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: so foreign to you, that you struggle a little bit
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: with being as direct. And that's really one of your
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: most beautiful gifts is that you're you just tell it
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: like it is. Yeah, but you do it compassionately and
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: lovely way. Yeah, like you do it in a way
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: that doesn't like fin.
• 1:45
  Speaker 2: I don't want to shame people. Yeah, and I also
• 1:48
  Speaker 2: want people to know the truth.
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, the truth is important, very important. Sure. And
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: speaking of you know, content studios, today's episode is about
• 2:02
  Speaker 1: something that's really interesting that I don't know a whole
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: lot about, which is parasocial relationships.
• 2:06
  Speaker 2: Parasocial relationships when the Internet starts feeling intimate.
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's a good thing.
• 2:12
  Speaker 2: Yeah. So parasocial relationship is essentially when you feel like
• 2:17
  Speaker 2: you know somebody that's famous that you don't really know,
• 2:21
  Speaker 2: like you feel like you know them.
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 2:23
  Speaker 2: And I experience being on the other end of this
• 2:27
  Speaker 2: because I have clients that come across my desk a
• 2:30
  Speaker 2: lot of the time and they're like, I feel like
• 2:32
  Speaker 2: you're my best friend. I feel like you've been like
• 2:33
  Speaker 2: my therapist. I feel like I know you so well,
• 2:36
  Speaker 2: and I'm just like, hi, really okay, I'm like I'm good,
• 2:41
  Speaker 2: glad to meet you too, you know, because I am
• 2:43
  Speaker 2: glad to meet you. But it's interesting to know that
• 2:47
  Speaker 2: they've been in a one sided like intimate relationship with me,
• 2:50
  Speaker 2: like friendship or therapist type relationship with me, and I've
• 2:53
  Speaker 2: never met them.
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: Well, what was that one, the TikTok situation where the
• 2:57
  Speaker 1: girl actually created the I mean it was her the therapist,
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: but like she created some relationship with him. Remember what?
• 3:04
  Speaker 2: Oh, yes, we did an episode on that.
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: I think we did do a whole episode on it. Yes,
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: And it was essentially a kind of like that she
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: knew him.
• 3:13
  Speaker 2: Yeah. So the whole thing about parasocial relationships is you
• 3:17
  Speaker 2: don't know don't them? Yeah, you only know them from music, TV, Internet,
• 3:21
  Speaker 2: et cetera. So and everybody it's a buzzword right now.
• 3:26
  Speaker 2: Everybody's like, oh, the parasocial relationship. They're not always bad.
• 3:30
  Speaker 2: There's a difference. Are they inherently like just unhealthy? No,
• 3:34
  Speaker 2: So when someone inspires you, when someone makes you feel
• 3:39
  Speaker 2: more creative, when someone gives good advice, when someone is
• 3:45
  Speaker 2: a healthy influence, but it doesn't cross over into this
• 3:49
  Speaker 2: obsession where we're like besties now, right, but you don't
• 3:53
  Speaker 2: even know it. It becomes unhealthy when you start to
• 3:58
  Speaker 2: really feel like there's a true relationship hip there and
• 4:01
  Speaker 2: kind of kind of relying on that person to regulate
• 4:05
  Speaker 2: you in some way or to give you some kind
• 4:07
  Speaker 2: of feeling that's deeper than just inspiration.
• 4:13
  Speaker 1: Or the obvious. You start talking, yeah, that's the obvious. Unhealthy.
• 4:18
  Speaker 2: I mean, teenagers really get into parasocial relationships. Think about
• 4:21
  Speaker 2: how many posters you had on your wall all tons?
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: Yeah right, wait, although all my posters were Elvis. I
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: was obsessed with Elvis as a little girl.
• 4:30
  Speaker 2: So I my best friend and my husband are the
• 4:34
  Speaker 2: same people. It is so weird, guys.
• 4:36
  Speaker 1: Elvis Elvis splotted all over my wall because but it's
• 4:39
  Speaker 1: interesting because the way that that love relationship started in
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: my mind was I was in the fourth grade. I
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: had a dream that he came and picked me up
• 4:49
  Speaker 1: on his motorcycle at my school, and that's how my
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: love started for Elvis Presley. That's hilarious. And I must
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: have seen something, right, like, I must have watched something
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: that prompted the dream. But yeah, that's how I fell
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: in love.
• 5:02
  Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, so you had a I a social relationship
• 5:05
  Speaker 2: with a dead guy.
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: I did. I definitely did, dude.
• 5:09
  Speaker 2: It still counts. Okay, So they're not automatically unhealthy. I
• 5:13
  Speaker 2: mean humans are wired for connection, and digital media is
• 5:16
  Speaker 2: just where we get our media today. It's just where
• 5:19
  Speaker 2: we see what's going on in the world. Nobody reads
• 5:21
  Speaker 2: a freaking newspaper anymore. Nobody do newspapers even still exist?
• 5:25
  Speaker 1: I don't know, so I think so, but I don't.
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: I mean, only eighty year olds maybe are reading them
• 5:30
  Speaker 1: like that just because it's, you know, something that they've
• 5:33
  Speaker 1: always done.
• 5:33
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and everything is just digitized. Everything is streaming, Everything
• 5:38
  Speaker 2: is at our fingertips. I think now more than ever,
• 5:42
  Speaker 2: since we have this streaming era, you can develop these
• 5:46
  Speaker 2: deeper bonds because people are being blasted all over the
• 5:51
  Speaker 2: internet twenty four to seven, and this in real time,
• 5:53
  Speaker 2: in real time, whereas before, like when I was in college,
• 5:57
  Speaker 2: I would go to Perezhilton dot com and I would
• 5:59
  Speaker 2: reads Hilton's blog of like what's going on with my
• 6:02
  Speaker 2: favorite celebrities? Or I would read US Magazine. Now it's
• 6:06
  Speaker 2: just the digital media video of them constantly, and they're
• 6:12
  Speaker 2: living their lives while they're doing this digital media, so
• 6:15
  Speaker 2: you sort of feel like you're in their ecosystem.
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: And I wonder if that's why live you know, like
• 6:20
  Speaker 1: Twitch for example, it's just a live streaming platform. Like
• 6:23
  Speaker 1: I wonder if those live platforms and we all know that,
• 6:25
  Speaker 1: like this is the direction that TikTok is going as well,
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: where they want more live content, and I wonder if
• 6:30
  Speaker 1: this plays a role. It's because the parasocial relationship is evolving.
• 6:35
  Speaker 2: Yes, I mean some people spend more of their emotional
• 6:38
  Speaker 2: energy thinking about influencers and celebrities and podcasters and creators
• 6:45
  Speaker 2: than people in real life. Yeah, that's when it becomes
• 6:48
  Speaker 2: kind of unhealthy, when you become sort of obsessed. But
• 6:51
  Speaker 2: let me say before we judge that too quickly. Our
• 6:54
  Speaker 2: brain is designed for connection, and this is the way
• 6:58
  Speaker 2: we are connected. Now, they're a huge problems with it.
• 7:00
  Speaker 2: They're shallow connections, they're one sided, obviously, But we're designed
• 7:04
  Speaker 2: for connection. So it's not unimaginable that this is where
• 7:09
  Speaker 2: we would get to in society where we have these
• 7:11
  Speaker 2: parasocial relationships. And so I will admit I have a
• 7:15
  Speaker 2: little bit of a parasocial relationship with the Beebers and
• 7:18
  Speaker 2: Taylor Swift. Now, do I think it's unhealthy? No? Like
• 7:21
  Speaker 2: do I need to see them every day on the
• 7:24
  Speaker 2: digital media to feel okay?
• 7:26
  Speaker 1: No? Right?
• 7:27
  Speaker 2: But am I inspired by them as creators? Yes? Like
• 7:32
  Speaker 2: my hairstyle Haley Bieber inspired.
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: Yeah, for sure.
• 7:36
  Speaker 2: It's her signature hairstyle because I think it looks good.
• 7:40
  Speaker 2: I like it.
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: It's an easy similar like facial structure. She has like
• 7:44
  Speaker 1: a long like she has long features like not everybody
• 7:47
  Speaker 1: can pull off that hairstyle, but you've got those long features,
• 7:51
  Speaker 1: long face, long, you know, long chin, long nose, like
• 7:53
  Speaker 1: all the features that are like sharp and pointed, so
• 7:56
  Speaker 1: that slick back hairstyle and you guys looks really good.
• 7:59
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's just an it's just an inspiration. This is oil.
• 8:03
  Speaker 2: It's just oil in my hair and I'm like, oh
• 8:04
  Speaker 2: my gosh, I can just what do you mean? I
• 8:05
  Speaker 2: can drench my hair in oil and like make it
• 8:07
  Speaker 2: look okay and so so. Yes, but that was an inspiration,
• 8:11
  Speaker 2: not an obsession, sure, right. And I think humans evolved
• 8:17
  Speaker 2: in small tribes and our brains are adapted for daily exposure.
• 8:25
  Speaker 2: You know, I think we really enjoy emotional storytelling, which
• 8:30
  Speaker 2: is what true intimate relationships used to be. Like yeah, yeah,
• 8:36
  Speaker 2: And now algorithms are curated to you. So your algorithm
• 8:41
  Speaker 2: feels intimate because it's always trying to learn you. Yes,
• 8:45
  Speaker 2: And like I said, my mind suck because I always
• 8:49
  Speaker 2: on my professional accounts just like trying to post or
• 8:53
  Speaker 2: like interact with my community, and so my algorithms just
• 8:57
  Speaker 2: think all I want is like relationship advice and personal development.
• 9:00
  Speaker 2: Now I have on my personal instagram, started to curate
• 9:05
  Speaker 2: that one towards funny videos.
• 9:07
  Speaker 1: My instagram is on bier Man.
• 9:11
  Speaker 2: Is so good. And so the brain interprets repeated exposure
• 9:18
  Speaker 2: as intimacy. So there's something called the merror exposure effect
• 9:22
  Speaker 2: where we tend to like what is familiar. We tend
• 9:26
  Speaker 2: to like things that we've been exposed to more and
• 9:28
  Speaker 2: more and more. This is why we can actually end
• 9:31
  Speaker 2: up falling in love with somebody that we initially did
• 9:34
  Speaker 2: not think was very attractive. The guy dated one of
• 9:39
  Speaker 2: the guys I dated before I met my husband. I
• 9:42
  Speaker 2: did not have any attraction to him physically before, and
• 9:45
  Speaker 2: I ended up. You know, I guess you would call
• 9:48
  Speaker 2: it love, not love what I know today, But you know,
• 9:50
  Speaker 2: love what I knew at the time, having love for him, right,
• 9:54
  Speaker 2: because he just kept showing up. Yeah, he just kept
• 9:58
  Speaker 2: coming around, and it was just one of those things
• 10:00
  Speaker 2: where it was just like a friendship at first.
• 10:03
  Speaker 1: And he had some good I mean, he had some
• 10:04
  Speaker 1: good quality.
• 10:05
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 10:05
  Speaker 1: I was a very nice a nice.
• 10:07
  Speaker 2: Person for sure, But it was the repeated exposure effect
• 10:10
  Speaker 2: for sure. The mere exposure effect is what it's called psychologically,
• 10:14
  Speaker 2: and so the nervous system just does not fully distinguish
• 10:19
  Speaker 2: proximity and intimacy very well. That's why the mere exposure
• 10:24
  Speaker 2: effect exists because proximity is a form of intimacy. It's
• 10:32
  Speaker 2: not the complete picture, but it's a form of intimacy, and.
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: It's probably why people can date and live across the
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: world from each other and then get together and marry, right,
• 10:42
  Speaker 1: even though they've never seen each other before, they've never
• 10:45
  Speaker 1: had proximity to each other other than like to me, Yeah,
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: but I imagine, I mean it happens.
• 10:51
  Speaker 2: I have had a couple that they had never met
• 10:53
  Speaker 2: in person before they got married.
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: Yeah that's wild. Yeah, well I actually have a friend too.
• 10:58
  Speaker 1: Now it's more of a cultural thing, you know, marriage,
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: but yeah, they and now they've been married for like
• 11:02
  Speaker 1: fifty years.
• 11:03
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and that crazy.
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: That is crazy.
• 11:06
  Speaker 2: And so there's some neurobiological reasons for this. We had
• 11:10
  Speaker 2: these neurons in our brain called mirror neurons, and essentially,
• 11:14
  Speaker 2: when we see someone performing an action, our brain almost
• 11:19
  Speaker 2: takes us into that experience. That's how we learn through modeling.
• 11:23
  Speaker 2: So for example, if you were bouncing a basketball, my
• 11:26
  Speaker 2: brain is firing as if I'm bouncing that basketball if
• 11:28
  Speaker 2: I'm really studying you. So when we're watching these people
• 11:31
  Speaker 2: on the internet, there's a part of us that feels
• 11:33
  Speaker 2: like we're right there with them and that we're kind
• 11:35
  Speaker 2: of experiencing. So if somebody's watching this podcast, they might
• 11:38
  Speaker 2: feel like they're sitting right here versus being.
• 11:41
  Speaker 1: Across the hurre. You do feel that way, you want
• 11:43
  Speaker 1: that right, Yeah.
• 11:44
  Speaker 2: So there's an aspect of some parasocial bonding that is healthy. Yeah,
• 11:48
  Speaker 2: it's just that some people.
• 11:50
  Speaker 1: Take it too far, take it too far, And that
• 11:52
  Speaker 1: was going to be one of my questions, is like
• 11:54
  Speaker 1: compara social relationships activate attachment wounds or um emotional needs.
• 11:58
  Speaker 2: Yep, absolutely absolutely. If you've ever felt kind of crushed
• 12:03
  Speaker 2: by like a celebrity, divorce, you were a little too
• 12:08
  Speaker 2: parasocially bonded to them. If you've ever felt kind of
• 12:11
  Speaker 2: devastated when a TV show had its finale, don't tell
• 12:15
  Speaker 2: me you weren't by friends, because I.
• 12:16
  Speaker 1: Gosh, I can't even talk about it. Still gets a goobbun.
• 12:18
  Speaker 1: It makes me want to like.
• 12:19
  Speaker 2: Right, I think there were so many of us that
• 12:21
  Speaker 2: watched that TV show for ten years.
• 12:23
  Speaker 1: Still get more emotional, even though I've watched it a
• 12:26
  Speaker 1: bazillion times. Yeah, the last episode, I still get emotional.
• 12:29
  Speaker 1: When I watched it.
• 12:29
  Speaker 2: We were teeing, teetering a little bit in the unhealthy space.
• 12:33
  Speaker 2: But again, if we're educated, if we're inspired, if we
• 12:38
  Speaker 2: are motivated, that is healthy parasocial bonding. And that is
• 12:42
  Speaker 2: the good part of the Internet. That's a great part
• 12:44
  Speaker 2: of the Internet. Yeah. The bad part of the Internet
• 12:47
  Speaker 2: is when you're binge watching somebody's videos because you feel
• 12:52
  Speaker 2: like you're their bestie or they're your therapist or in
• 12:58
  Speaker 2: when they don't put out a new video, you feel
• 13:00
  Speaker 2: a little bit anxious. That's trade or betrayed. That's bad.
• 13:07
  Speaker 2: And sometimes the creator can be a bridge so someone
• 13:14
  Speaker 2: feels like a safe community exists or a safe person exists,
• 13:18
  Speaker 2: but we can't rely on that one sided relationship. It
• 13:22
  Speaker 2: can be an introduction to a safe relationship, like a
• 13:25
  Speaker 2: content creator like me maybe who gives relationship advice or
• 13:29
  Speaker 2: who helps you understand important things in your life that
• 13:35
  Speaker 2: can be important, but you have to cross over into
• 13:38
  Speaker 2: being able to have these intimate relationships in real life
• 13:43
  Speaker 2: instead of just over the internet. You always hear about
• 13:46
  Speaker 2: like the gamer guy in his basement, who's like Brad
• 13:49
  Speaker 2: Paisley wrote a song about it, you know, like online
• 13:52
  Speaker 2: or whatever it was called.
• 13:53
  Speaker 1: Where I know what you're talking about.
• 13:55
  Speaker 2: People take on a fake persona and they go into
• 13:58
  Speaker 2: chat rooms or into on social media and.
• 14:01
  Speaker 1: It becomes their existence, like that's all they do, right,
• 14:03
  Speaker 1: Like they're just like they have nothing else.
• 14:05
  Speaker 2: We see this, We see this in the online gaming space,
• 14:10
  Speaker 2: where it essentially does become a parasocial bond, even not
• 14:13
  Speaker 2: just with one particular person, but within a group of
• 14:16
  Speaker 2: people who share that gaming world.
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: The gaming world is a whole, Like we could probably
• 14:24
  Speaker 1: do a whole episode on that because they've done some
• 14:26
  Speaker 1: like massive studies on like what it does to brain
• 14:29
  Speaker 1: matter and especially in children, and it's we could probably
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: do a whole episode.
• 14:32
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• 15:34
  Speaker 2: some warning signs of unhealthy parasocial relationships. Definitely emotional dependency
• 15:42
  Speaker 2: replacing real relationships, obsessive thinking, feeling anxious, if they don't
• 15:49
  Speaker 2: put out no content.
• 15:52
  Speaker 1: Excessive loneliness because you're not getting like them.
• 15:55
  Speaker 2: Yes, extensive loneliness and projecting intimacy that doesn't exist. Like
• 16:01
  Speaker 2: if you look, for example, at Taylor Swift and her
• 16:04
  Speaker 2: fan base, which I am a part of, there are
• 16:07
  Speaker 2: people that take it to the extra dream. Yeah, there
• 16:10
  Speaker 2: are people that are watching her every day. There are
• 16:12
  Speaker 2: people that are deep diving everything she does to look
• 16:15
  Speaker 2: for Easter eggs that ain't me. Do I love her music? Sure?
• 16:18
  Speaker 2: Do I have T shirts with her face or logo?
• 16:23
  Speaker 2: Or I mean like, did you hear.
• 16:24
  Speaker 1: An freak out moment when you thought she was at coach?
• 16:26
  Speaker 2: Did I have a minor freak out moment? Was like,
• 16:31
  Speaker 2: just kidd totally.
• 16:35
  Speaker 1: She would have never done a cameo. She's too good
• 16:37
  Speaker 1: for a cameo. I don't know. I just don't see
• 16:39
  Speaker 1: her doing a cameo listens just I don't know. I
• 16:43
  Speaker 1: just don't see that.
• 16:44
  Speaker 2: She kind of has the all about her energy.
• 16:46
  Speaker 1: She does and that's okay.
• 16:47
  Speaker 2: She earned it, Yeah, she earned it. She earned it.
• 16:50
  Speaker 1: She's like, I don't do cameos. People do cameos for me.
• 16:55
  Speaker 2: I heard this theory the kai what was it the
• 16:59
  Speaker 2: Kai prison theory, that the Coy asylum, that was what
• 17:05
  Speaker 2: it was. That everybody that does a collab with her
• 17:07
  Speaker 2: gets put in the Cai asylum, which is like essentially
• 17:12
  Speaker 2: their career dies after they collab with her because they
• 17:15
  Speaker 2: can just never outshine her. They just never can.
• 17:19
  Speaker 1: But there's Sabrina has killed it.
• 17:21
  Speaker 2: She's the exception. They're one like, she's the exception. But
• 17:25
  Speaker 2: I just wonder how much Sabrina's whole identity is sex.
• 17:29
  Speaker 1: It is very is very like very like, it's all
• 17:32
  Speaker 1: her sexualized. Her stuff is dirty, it is dirty, It
• 17:36
  Speaker 1: is secretly dirty, like you got to really listen to
• 17:38
  Speaker 1: the way you.
• 17:38
  Speaker 2: Got to between the lines. It's all a metaphor for sex.
• 17:42
  Speaker 1: She's not very talented, though a voice is incredible and
• 17:45
  Speaker 1: she's a performer. I will be with her.
• 17:48
  Speaker 2: Props, you know, seeing her live. She puts on a
• 17:50
  Speaker 2: great show. Her voice is amazing. But I would kind
• 17:52
  Speaker 2: of like to see her And maybe it's just because
• 17:54
  Speaker 2: she's in her mid twenties, like evolve a little bit
• 17:57
  Speaker 2: into something a little bit deeper. So bottom line is,
• 18:02
  Speaker 2: people don't just follow creators anymore. They build an identity
• 18:06
  Speaker 2: around them. And I think that is when we can
• 18:08
  Speaker 2: start to teeter into unhealthy psychological territory. And I don't
• 18:12
  Speaker 2: think a lot of people, especially in like the Gen Alpha,
• 18:16
  Speaker 2: which is our younger kids, our younger kiddos that might
• 18:21
  Speaker 2: be on YouTube, it could start to get a little
• 18:23
  Speaker 2: bit unhealthy. It can. Like I had to check my
• 18:27
  Speaker 2: daughter the other day and I was like, we're going
• 18:29
  Speaker 2: to dial down the YouTube because she has this one
• 18:32
  Speaker 2: creator that she follows, and she wanted her makeup line
• 18:34
  Speaker 2: and her skincare line and all this sudden, she's nine,
• 18:37
  Speaker 2: and I'm like, no, no, sorry, here's your face wash
• 18:42
  Speaker 2: that we got, here's your if you need it. You
• 18:45
  Speaker 2: don't even really need it, but like after cheer competitions
• 18:48
  Speaker 2: and stuff like, no, I'm not buying you this whole
• 18:52
  Speaker 2: one hundred and something dollars skincare line from this creator
• 18:54
  Speaker 2: on YouTube. No, we're going to turn the TV off
• 18:56
  Speaker 2: for a while. And that was the week I was
• 18:58
  Speaker 2: your skin barrier baby play outside. Yeah, So, in a nutshell,
• 19:05
  Speaker 2: your nervous system doesn't always fully distinguish between somebody who's
• 19:09
  Speaker 2: online that you have watched a lot because of familiarity
• 19:13
  Speaker 2: and a true real relationship. It's just there's a danger
• 19:17
  Speaker 2: when consumption starts to replace connection, and more people are
• 19:20
  Speaker 2: in that space than you would actually believe. Yeah, they are,
• 19:24
  Speaker 2: especially people that are hurting. Yeah, so just be please
• 19:28
  Speaker 2: watch my content.
• 19:29
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's what I was just I was gonna ask, like,
• 19:31
  Speaker 1: what's the ethical responsibility from the influencer.
• 19:33
  Speaker 2: So that's a question I haven't thought about. I don't know. Yeah,
• 19:38
  Speaker 2: I don't know if I have an answer to that question.
• 19:40
  Speaker 2: Is there something I should be doing to make sure
• 19:42
  Speaker 2: that people aren't parasocially bonding with me?
• 19:43
  Speaker 1: I'm not sure. Yeah, I mean I think it's, you know,
• 19:47
  Speaker 1: just like anything that may where there's some like ethical boundaries.
• 19:52
  Speaker 1: I think you just talk about it, right, you normalize it,
• 19:54
  Speaker 1: And that's exactly what we're doing, right.
• 19:56
  Speaker 2: So I really try to not give clinical advice. I
• 20:00
  Speaker 2: try not to let people in. And this is actually
• 20:03
  Speaker 2: the thing I'm worse at that I need to get
• 20:05
  Speaker 2: better at, is letting people more into my life. Like
• 20:07
  Speaker 2: I never do videos with Donald, and I should because
• 20:09
  Speaker 2: we have a great relationship and it's social proof, which
• 20:12
  Speaker 2: is showing basically that I practice what I preach. But
• 20:17
  Speaker 2: don andized lives are just on the fly, and like
• 20:20
  Speaker 2: you can we create it.
• 20:21
  Speaker 1: You are like the busiest family I know currently in
• 20:25
  Speaker 1: my life right now. I mean seriously, you definitely are.
• 20:28
  Speaker 1: And I mean listen, and all my friends I just
• 20:31
  Speaker 1: happen to be like right now in this season of life.
• 20:34
  Speaker 1: Like I don't have any other friends who are in
• 20:36
  Speaker 1: the same season because I had a child before all
• 20:39
  Speaker 1: of my friends, So all of my friends are like
• 20:42
  Speaker 1: in this. Really, even my sisters are in this very
• 20:45
  Speaker 1: busy season of their life where they're like running their
• 20:47
  Speaker 1: kids to sports all the time, and like their kids
• 20:49
  Speaker 1: are heavily involved in things, and then there's me over here,
• 20:53
  Speaker 1: like I'm just out here, you know, doing the dang
• 20:57
  Speaker 1: thing like being them.
• 20:59
  Speaker 2: It's one of my favorite things in the world. But
• 21:01
  Speaker 2: it really sucks being a working mom and always feeling like, well,
• 21:05
  Speaker 2: I'm either slacking network I'm going to be slackening mic
• 21:07
  Speaker 2: not enough of you parent go around. No, there's definitely not.
• 21:11
  Speaker 2: I wish I could just clone myself a bunch JK.
• 21:14
  Speaker 2: That's probably dangerous. I don't want to do that AnyWho.
• 21:17
  Speaker 2: I think this is a great place to wrap up.
• 21:19
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, well I find this one really interesting and
• 21:21
  Speaker 1: I think it's definitely something to think about in terms of,
• 21:24
  Speaker 1: you know, not just for you, but other influencers that
• 21:26
  Speaker 1: maybe listen. You know, what is the ethical responsibility of
• 21:30
  Speaker 1: you creating these parasocial relationships to make sure that they don't,
• 21:35
  Speaker 1: you know, happen. And I think that not that that
• 21:37
  Speaker 1: all that responsibility should fall on the influencer, obviously not, but.
• 21:41
  Speaker 2: I think on the parents of our younger kiddos. Watch
• 21:44
  Speaker 2: their YouTube times, Yeah, watch who they're watching on YouTube,
• 21:48
  Speaker 2: because they can become kind of obsessed. I see my
• 21:51
  Speaker 2: daughter's friends sometimes a little bit obsessed, and I'm like, ooh,
• 21:55
  Speaker 2: I got it.
• 21:55
  Speaker 1: And they're more susceptible, that's all they've ever known.
• 21:58
  Speaker 2: Yeah, they grow, they've up in the digital space.
• 22:01
  Speaker 1: Yeah, whereas like our generation, we've had both we were
• 22:04
  Speaker 1: the last greatest generation, but the millennials rule because we
• 22:08
  Speaker 1: were the last ones to grow up with no digital
• 22:11
  Speaker 1: Like we didn't have a digital childhood. No, we did not,
• 22:13
  Speaker 1: And you know, so anyway, I just think you're right.
• 22:17
  Speaker 1: Parents have to be more cognizant of which is watching
• 22:18
  Speaker 1: your children. Make sure you know what they're they're listening.
• 22:21
  Speaker 2: To, what creators on YouTube that they're watching.
• 22:24
  Speaker 1: There's so much danger on that way, we could get
• 22:26
  Speaker 1: into a whole another episode about that too, which we
• 22:27
  Speaker 1: won't do. But guys continue to listen, like, download, please, download, yes, download,
• 22:34
  Speaker 1: tell a friend. We love you guys so much and
• 22:36
  Speaker 1: just cannot wait until season three and just stick around
• 22:40
  Speaker 1: because we have so much more in store and until
• 22:42
  Speaker 1: next time, peace, love, and perspective