Latest / Movie Meltdown / Bava and Black Lace (Promo)
Transcript
- 0:05Speaker 1: All right.
- 0:24Speaker 2: We have returned. Are we ready to tell people about
- 0:27Speaker 2: a movie that we probably don't want to see? But
- 0:30Speaker 2: then every time I give the synopsis, you guys are like, ooh,
- 0:32Speaker 2: that sounds good.
- 0:33Speaker 3: Yeah.
- 0:34Speaker 2: And I feel like we're going to watch it, and
- 0:35Speaker 2: you're going to be like, this sucked. So, this time around,
- 0:39Speaker 2: we will tell them about, I figured it tied in,
- 0:43Speaker 2: In a Dark Place. Because later we're going to be
- 0:46Speaker 2: discussing the movie that there's a lot of darkness involved.
- 0:49Speaker 4: For a second there, I thought you were jumping right
- 0:51Speaker 4: into the movie, and I'm like, that is not what
- 0:53Speaker 4: I watched.
- 0:55Speaker 2: You have never done this before.
- 0:57Speaker 3: So.
- 0:58Speaker 2: In a dark place, according to this box that I saw.
- 1:02Speaker 2: Anna takes a new job as a nanny to two
- 1:05Speaker 2: young orphans. Her new workplace is a remote country estate
- 1:08Speaker 2: with beautiful grounds. Miles and Flora, the children, seem sweet
- 1:12Speaker 2: and charmed. I was like, wait a minute. Have we
- 1:14Speaker 2: freaking seen this? And six variations of it? They've made
- 1:18Speaker 2: like three in the last 20 years. Like. How many
- 1:21Speaker 2: times do we need to watch the same story?
- 1:23Speaker 5: I have no idea what you guys are talking about.
- 1:25Speaker 2: And you did an entire episode on it at least
- 1:28Speaker 2: once we've covered this.
- 1:29Speaker 3: I don't know if you were on that one. I
- 1:33Speaker 3: thought he was.
- 1:34Speaker 2: Maybe not.
- 1:34Speaker 5: You guys are doing these without me.
- 1:36Speaker 3: Well, it was a long time ago.
- 1:37Speaker 2: I didn't tell you about it, but you know. If
- 1:40Speaker 2: you guys really want him to show up, you're going
- 1:42Speaker 2: to have to sponsor an extra like five bucks because
- 1:45Speaker 2: we've got an extra point for Phillip. You've got to
- 1:48Speaker 2: pay if you want Phillip.
- 1:49Speaker 5: To show up.
- 1:49Speaker 3: Oh, yeah. It is.
- 1:51Speaker 5: This don't come cheap i feel like expensive but.
- 1:55Speaker 2: We take what we can get it yeah no is
- 1:58Speaker 2: this not the turning yeah is this not turn of
- 2:01Speaker 2: the screw yeah it's not the what was the i
- 2:05Speaker 2: mean good version of the oh that i.
- 2:07Speaker 5: Sound vaguely yeah they're all.
- 2:10Speaker 3: The same thing no it's turn it's uh the innocence
- 2:13Speaker 3: the one from the 60s.
- 2:14Speaker 2: Innocence when i did a whole episode on and it's Yeah.
- 2:18Speaker 3: I love that movie. But yeah, also The Turning, which
- 2:20Speaker 3: was terrible.
- 2:21Speaker 2: Which was pretty rough, yeah.
- 2:23Speaker 5: I just don't remember those specific names.
- 2:25Speaker 4: Miles and.
- 2:26Speaker 3: Yes, Miles and Flora.
- 2:28Speaker 2: Is that exactly their names?
- 2:29Speaker 3: Yes, that's their names.
- 2:32Speaker 2: I didn't even know that much. I just knew the
- 2:34Speaker 2: plot's exactly the same.
- 2:36Speaker 3: Oh yeah, I interrupted you. What's the rest of the synopsis?
- 2:38Speaker 2: Does it really matter? Is it just spooky things? This
- 2:42Speaker 2: perfect world quickly fades as she... Makes disturbing discoveries. Do
- 2:47Speaker 2: we need to go on? I'm sure. Ghosts and shit.
- 2:50Speaker 2: I don't know.
- 2:50Speaker 5: I've stopped paying attention.
- 2:52Speaker 2: But what was missing from your other version was Lili Sobieski.
- 2:56Speaker 1: Oh.
- 2:56Speaker 2: So if you need a Lili Sobieski version of the
- 3:00Speaker 2: same story that we've heard and talked about multiple times. Well,
- 3:04Speaker 2: what do I.
- 3:05Speaker 5: Need a Lili Sobieski version of?
- 3:07Speaker 2: I mean, come on. The Glass House.
- 3:11Speaker 3: I love The Glass House.
- 3:12Speaker 2: I'm trying to think. I was like, that was probably
- 3:14Speaker 2: her biggest sort of by herself movie. She was the
- 3:17Speaker 2: star of that one. She was kind of side in
- 3:20Speaker 2: several others at the time. And I guess now she's
- 3:23Speaker 2: making it a dark place.
- 3:25Speaker 3: When did that come out?
- 3:26Speaker 2: Couldn't tell you the last time I've seen a Lili
- 3:29Speaker 2: Sobieski fronted vehicle. No. Let's see. This one has a
- 3:34Speaker 2: sticker on it like it was a rental copy if
- 3:36Speaker 2: that gives you any idea.
- 3:38Speaker 3: Somewhat.
- 3:41Speaker 2: Huh.
- 3:42Speaker 3: 2006.
- 3:43Speaker 2: Well, there you go. Just the other day.
- 3:45Speaker 5: Huh.
- 3:46Speaker 2: In my head. Really, that was a long time ago.
- 3:50Speaker 2: It's sad when that happens.
- 3:51Speaker 4: Yeah.
- 3:52Speaker 2: I do that a couple of times a week.
- 3:53Speaker 5: I do it daily.
- 3:54Speaker 2: Yeah. I'm just like, oh, do you mean the, oh, wait, math. Oh, shit. No.
- 3:59Speaker 3: No one should be allowed to do another adaptation of that.
- 4:02Speaker 2: We can eat at least a moratorium. Give us a
- 4:04Speaker 2: good 50 years.
- 4:05Speaker 3: Right.
- 4:06Speaker 2: In 50 years, come back, you can do one with
- 4:08Speaker 2: your space person or whatever. If CG robots are making movies,
- 4:13Speaker 2: then I don't know. I mean, we're already kind of
- 4:15Speaker 2: there at this point, so I can only imagine 50
- 4:16Speaker 2: years from now what sort of weird robots are in charge.
- 4:20Speaker 3: Turn of the screw in space.
- 4:22Speaker 2: It'll be fun. It's the Starring Pigs in Space, because
- 4:25Speaker 2: that I would watch.
- 4:26Speaker 4: I would watch that, yeah.
- 4:29Speaker 2: So yeah, if you'd like us to watch that, you
- 4:31Speaker 2: can suggest that. If not, we really suggest that you
- 4:36Speaker 2: go join the Meltdown Horror Club and give us a
- 4:39Speaker 2: better option than that that may or may not be
- 4:42Speaker 2: an exact ripoff of Turn of the Screen.
- 4:45Speaker 5: Or even if you hate us, give us something terrible.
- 4:48Speaker 2: Torture us.
- 4:48Speaker 5: We have nothing to live for at this point.
- 4:51Speaker 2: We kind of do it to ourselves now. You might
- 4:53Speaker 2: as well join in.
- 4:54Speaker 5: I mean, Nora's newly happily married, but that'll wear off.
- 4:58Speaker 3: That's funny.
- 4:59Speaker 2: She'll need something to distract from her days of like, oh, God,
- 5:03Speaker 2: I'm with this guy all the time. I didn't really
- 5:05Speaker 2: think that part through.
- 5:06Speaker 1: It's true.
- 5:08Speaker 2: It's already set in.
- 5:10Speaker 5: For being honest, it'll probably go the other way.
- 5:14Speaker 2: What was I thinking? Why is she here again? She's
- 5:19Speaker 2: making me watch these terrible horror movies. That's true. I've
- 5:22Speaker 2: got to get out of here.
- 5:25Speaker 3: That's how I try to get my alone time.
- 5:27Speaker 2: Yeah. I'll make him go away by watching crap. He's like, ooh,
- 5:31Speaker 2: I gotta go do anything else. Anyway, I'll be back.
- 5:39Speaker 2: You can add to that. Give us something to watch.
- 5:43Speaker 2: He'll have a reason to run out of the room.
- 5:45Speaker 3: Yeah.
- 5:48Speaker 2: In the meantime, we'll go to another dark place and
- 5:50Speaker 2: we'll say creepy things like this.
- 5:54Speaker 3: There were a lot of points where I covered my
- 5:56Speaker 3: eyes and would not look at the TV and Pierce
- 5:59Speaker 3: was going, oh my God, oh my God.
- 6:01Speaker 2: And you're horribly jaded, so that says something.
- 6:03Speaker 3: I know, and I'm used to stuff.
- 6:06Speaker 5: Which I know has already turned Brian off because reading.
- 6:09Speaker 2: Books. Thank you.
- 6:12Speaker 4: I'm about 70 pages in and it is slow.
- 6:16Speaker 2: Oh, yeah.
- 6:17Speaker 5: It spins a lot of time.
- 6:19Speaker 3: And we recently went back and rewatched all of Jersey Shore.
- 6:26Speaker 2: So we're stacking dead girls at this point. In the
- 6:30Speaker 2: trying to piece together the overview of the story, I
- 6:33Speaker 2: was like, maybe it's blown a little out of proportion, this,
- 6:36Speaker 2: I'm again using quotes, plan.
- 6:38Speaker 3: Yeah. Well, this one was also hyped, but it was gnarly.
- 6:45Speaker 3: It was really bad.
- 6:46Speaker 2: Good gnarly? Yeah.
- 6:48Speaker 3: Okay. Like.
- 6:50Speaker 5: Well, I would like to see a scene where one
- 6:52Speaker 5: of the cops is like, well, if We just sit
- 6:55Speaker 5: back and wait. There will only be one left.
- 6:58Speaker 2: Right. Police work. That's police work.
- 7:01Speaker 5: Probably a sex maniac.
- 7:05Speaker 3: Only men can be sex maniacs. Obviously.
- 7:10Speaker 5: I don't know if either of you have ever tried
- 7:12Speaker 5: to strangle someone. I have not.
- 7:15Speaker 1: I have not.
- 7:15Speaker 5: But I assume it would not give me.
- 7:17Speaker 2: I mean, when they ask or not.
- 7:19Speaker 4: Well, my point is I don't know if I would
- 7:21Speaker 4: have time to take my other hand and write out
- 7:24Speaker 4: a little note.
- 7:27Speaker 2: It's equating the end of the world with getting in
- 7:31Speaker 2: a committed relationship that's how like he is that level
- 7:35Speaker 2: of juvenile I don't know if you guys noticed but
- 7:39Speaker 2: a couple of times in this movie ladies were in
- 7:42Speaker 2: their brassieres sex maniacs yep that we are so we've
- 7:49Speaker 2: discussed in previous movies some of which in this subgenre Mannequins. Alright,
- 7:55Speaker 2: I'm a weirdo. I like some mannequins. For odd reasons,
- 7:59Speaker 2: and not even the weird ones you might think.
- 8:02Speaker 3: Yeah, when he pulled it out, he was like, drugs.
- 8:04Speaker 3: I was like, wait, is that that big of a deal?
- 8:06Speaker 5: I know, I was like, wait, what year is this?
- 8:08Speaker 3: It's the 60s in Italy in a fashion house? Yeah,
- 8:11Speaker 3: there's gonna be cocaine, my guy. Come on.
- 8:15Speaker 2: For some reason.
- 8:17Speaker 5: There's at least one scene of a car driving backwards
- 8:20Speaker 5: for a really long time. This had that three times
- 8:22Speaker 5: that I remember.
- 8:24Speaker 3: Really?
- 8:24Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 8:26Speaker 3: I will say whatever eyeliner they were using, I wanted
- 8:30Speaker 3: because the last kill where they have the girl in
- 8:33Speaker 3: the bathtub completely stays on.
- 8:36Speaker 2: Waterproof, yo. Yes.
- 8:38Speaker 3: It's really impressive. Look at that.
- 8:42Speaker 5: And that's about it. The supernatural stuff is Barely mentioned
- 8:47Speaker 5: it all so far.
- 8:48Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 8:48Speaker 5: There are a lot of priests in it, so.
- 8:51Speaker 3: They got to get you invested in the characters first.
- 8:53Speaker 3: And I'm not.
- 8:55Speaker 5: So far, I don't care about any of it.
- 9:00Speaker 2: At that point, I'm just like, if you came to
- 9:01Speaker 2: this movie for dialogue. Yeah. Well, no. I feel like
- 9:05Speaker 2: you took a wrong turn.
- 9:07Speaker 4: No, I got most of what I was expecting, which is, again,
- 9:11Speaker 4: the cars, the beautiful women, and the skinny ties.
- 9:13Speaker 1: Mm-hmm.
- 9:15Speaker 2: And was one of those that like in that 70s
- 9:17Speaker 2: era when movies were done, they just ended. Like, is
- 9:21Speaker 2: the story wrapped up? Nah, not really. But look at
- 9:23Speaker 2: this cool way we found to end it. Like, there's
- 9:26Speaker 2: this shot and it's a shocking scene and then we
- 9:28Speaker 2: got the credits. What are you doing, Sean? You're just
- 9:32Speaker 2: a drunken idiot. He's a drunken idiot. You're just a
- 9:33Speaker 2: drunken idiot.
- 9:34Speaker 5: And that would be enough explanation for me.
- 9:36Speaker 3: Yeah. Epileptic sex maniac.
- 9:42Speaker 2: First of all, speaking of purses, in your purse right now,
- 9:45Speaker 2: do you have $ 1, 000 in cash?
- 9:46Speaker 3: I do not.
- 9:47Speaker 2: Damn it. I know. I was totally going to hit
- 9:48Speaker 2: you up for that.
- 9:51Speaker 5: Maybe I just got no coltron. I don't know.
- 9:53Speaker 2: We know that. That's a given. But again, I'm just
- 9:56Speaker 2: starting to medically be concerned.
- 9:58Speaker 5: I will admit that my... attention span is not.
- 10:03Speaker 5: What's going on?
- 10:06Speaker 3: Well, and this was pre-DNA, so at some point the
- 10:09Speaker 3: detectives are talking about the shoes, and all I could
- 10:12Speaker 3: think of was, wouldn't it be funny if you were
- 10:14Speaker 3: to commit murders with the most ridiculous shoes? Clown shoes. Yeah,
- 10:18Speaker 3: you do like clown shoes. You do like these little
- 10:21Speaker 3: stilettos and like these tiny little beep, beep, beep, beep, beep.
- 10:24Speaker 3: And like you switch out your shoes every time. You
- 10:26Speaker 3: get away with a lot of stuff.
- 10:27Speaker 2: Yeah, kind of. You just switch your shoes. But yeah,
- 10:31Speaker 2: I just like the lengths he will go to to
- 10:33Speaker 2: not let anyone else touch his shit. I'm like, I
- 10:37Speaker 2: respect that, you crazy old man.
- 10:38Speaker 4: Well, my favorite part is the first time I saw it,
- 10:43Speaker 4: my quote was, hey, Nora, where'd you get this creepy.
- 10:46Speaker 5: Painting of these kids?
- 10:48Speaker 2: And you're like, oh.
- 10:48Speaker 5: Did you find it, or was it here when you
- 10:50Speaker 5: moved in? And your response was, that's.
- 10:52Speaker 2: Me and my brother. I am that creepy kid.
- 10:55Speaker 5: I hate to break it to you, but should Nora die.
- 10:59Speaker 2: Which let's hope not.
- 11:00Speaker 3: Knock on wood.
- 11:01Speaker 4: I will go out of my way to make sure
- 11:03Speaker 4: that painting is either buried with her or thrown in
- 11:07Speaker 4: the cremated thingy.
- 11:11Speaker 3: When your movie makes so little sense that you have
- 11:14Speaker 3: to have the guy explain exactly why you did it
- 11:17Speaker 3: like that.
- 11:17Speaker 2: To the person who did it with him.
- 11:19Speaker 3: Right. And you're still kind of like, I guess.
- 11:22Speaker 2: I mean, I guess. But then why her?
- 11:25Speaker 5: And then why did she?
- 11:26Speaker 2: I don't get it. You could just murder people and
- 11:31Speaker 2: move around the country and have fun doing it. Am
- 11:34Speaker 2: I sounding a little wistful about it?
- 11:36Speaker 5: Well, I'm concerned about the way you are.
- 11:38Speaker 2: The good old days when you could just murder people.
- 11:41Speaker 5: Well, that feels like that was a whole episode.
- 11:43Speaker 2: Well, there you go.
- 11:44Speaker 3: See you guys next time.
- 11:45Speaker 2: Next time around. So go to MovieMeltdown.com, join the Meltdown
- 11:49Speaker 2: Horror Club, and give us something better to watch than
- 11:52Speaker 2: whatever Lili Sobieski's doing on a random Tuesday. Unless she
- 11:58Speaker 2: wants to come on. She can't. Tell us about her.
- 12:01Speaker 2: She's like, oh, I didn't even know this was based
- 12:03Speaker 2: on a book. Really? I don't know. Lili might be
- 12:07Speaker 2: super smart. Very well read. Let's find out.
- 12:11Speaker 5: I just assume everyone's better read than I am.
- 12:33Speaker 2: Thank you.