Latest / The Mental Healness Podcast / How narcissists treat others vs how they treat you

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How narcissists treat others vs how they treat you · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  What is going on, Beautiful people.
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  Today we're talking about one of the most frustrating things
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  about being in a relationship with a narcissistic person.
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  How they treat you versus how they treat everybody else.
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  If you new here, my name is Lee Hammock.
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  I'm a clinically diagnosed narcissist and welcome to
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  another episode of The Narcissist Code.
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  Taboom. Welcome back.
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  Welcome back. Welcome back.
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  Yes, yes, yes, yes. Lord, yeah.
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  This is what I hear a lot from people.
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  This is one of the mainstay. This is one of the mainstay
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  questions that is consistently talked about or consistently
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  brought up on all of my social media platforms.
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  A lot of people feel the same way about this.
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  A lot of people get angry as hell at how they are treated
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  versus how the narcissist treats everybody else.
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  You know, and let's be real, let's be real.
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  Sometimes it can be equal, damn near equal to across the board.
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  You got a horrible asshole type narcissist that treats everybody
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  horribly. Those type of narcissists do
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  exist. Those malignant, overt type of
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  narcissist that exist to just hurt people and drive people
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  crazy and barely have any friends and people that like
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  them, Those narcissists absolutely exist.
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  Like the narcissist that treats everybody equally, treat that
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  treats everybody equally is horrible, right?
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  Those type of narcissists absolutely exist.
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  But I think a lot of people deal with this very specific type of
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  narcissist, right? That treats everybody else way
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  better than they treat you. Like you.
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  You get the crap end of the stick so to speak.
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  You get treated badly because of your closeness and your
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  proximity to the narcissistic person.
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  Why don't why don't narcissists treat the person close, the
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  people close to them the the worst like oh why do they get?
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  Why don't I get treated badly when all I want to do is love
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  this person? Why do I get treated badly?
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  What I don't want to do is care for this person and try to heal
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  their wounds and try to fix them and try to get them to love me
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  back. Why do they treat me so badly?
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  Help me. Pardon the Interruption.
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  Just wanted to make sure that you are subscribed to the
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  channel if you haven't hit that subscribe button right now.
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  And make sure to turn on notifications so you don't miss
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  any uploads. Help me reach more people and
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  back to the video and it touches my heart y'all.
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  It touches my little narcissistic heart that beats
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  them within my chest that so many people feel the same way.
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  It does, because a lot of narcissists do go out of their
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  way to treat strangers better than they treat their family.
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  They treat strangers better than they treat their wife.
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  They treat strangers better than they treat their husband or
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  their kids or their family members or whoever it is around
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  them. They treat strangers.
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  They put in the hierarchy of a narcissist life.
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  They put the strangers way above you, and I know people hate
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  that. It's so frustrating.
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  That's the anger. Did I see this?
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  That is written down in my comment section, but now, but
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  just not in my comment section in my real life as well.
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  There's be like, if you ask my wife, she would say that's one
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  of the most frustrating things that she used to experience.
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  She used to hate how I used to be good to everybody else, but
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  she used to get the crappy end of the stick.
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  She used to get treated way worse than everybody else got
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  treated right? My kids get treated way worse
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  than everybody else got treated and they would hate that.
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  And then my wife verbalized that she's.
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  Yeah, yeah, I know. People would say, well, when you
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  gonna let your wife talk? Yeah, my wife, she doesn't like
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  doing videos, but she has done lives on my channel.
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  You can find it on my playlist on my YouTube channel.
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  It says wife's live live chats. Yeah, the whole playlist on my
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  channel. I'm not trying to hide my wife.
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  She just doesn't. She's not the video person.
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  She just likes taking pictures and doing family stuff.
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  So, but yeah, but in her live videos and what she's expressed
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  to me in our marriage counseling sessions and just expressed to
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  me overall in our life is that she she used to get super, super
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  frustrated with how my behaviours will be better
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  towards people that didn't deserve it.
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  Like Lee, why are you loving this person and giving this
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  person everything that I want? Other people like you giving
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  them the love, care, affection, you're being there for them,
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  you're listening to them, you take constructive criticism from
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  them. But when I try to do something
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  is we end up in an argument, we end up fussing, we end up going
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  around and around and around like there's no like it.
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  It doesn't work for me how it works for everybody else and
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  it's super frustrating. And the main reason narcissists
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  treat the people closer to the closest to them, the worst is
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  because you have the most power over them.
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  It's not because they don't care.
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  Sometimes they don't care. Let's keep it high.
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  Sometimes the narcissist doesn't care how they treat you.
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  Sometimes it doesn't care how they they don't care how their
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  actions affect you. Let's be real.
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  Some of them do not care, but some of them understand that you
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  can hurt them the most. The closer you are to a
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  narcissist, the more control and power that you have over them,
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  but they don't want you to realize how much power and
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  control you have over them, so they tend to keep you down.
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  It's hard to understand how much how strong you are when you've
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  always felt like you've been held down or strapped to it.
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  Like you know, metaphorically strapped to a table with your
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  arms by your side you. It's metaphorically put inside
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  of an emotional straight jacket. Well, you can't get it.
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  You can't get to express yourself.
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  You don't know how strong you are.
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  You can't. It's like putting somebody on a
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  bench press in a straight jacket.
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  You cannot bench press in a straight jacket.
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  You can't do shoulder presses. You can't do any kind of weight
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  lifting in the straight jacket because your arms are damn near
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  tied to your side with in a jacket you can't move.
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  So how do you folks figure out how strong you are?
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  So that's what they want to do. They want to keep you down.
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  They want to keep you in their control because you have more
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  power. You can expose them.
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  You have the most power to be able to hurt them and take them
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  down. They don't want you.
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  They don't want you to know that they don't.
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  They want to. They want to convince you of
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  otherwise. They want to convince you of
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  otherwise. They want to hurt you in
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  different ways. They want to put you down and
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  make you feel a certain type of way, Right?
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  Yeah. They want to make you feel a
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  certain type of way. They want to hurt you and put
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  you through things. They want to to drive you crazy.
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  They want to do a lot of different things to you, you
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  know, to keep you down, to make you feel like you're just to
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  make you feel like you're stripped of your strength, you
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  know, That's what they want to make you feel the you.
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  The closer you are to me, the more you can hurt me, the more
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  power you have over me. And I hate it.
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  I don't like it. So that's why you see a lot of
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  narcissists, like they like to have people in the outer orbit.
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  They treat the people in their outer orbit better because they
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  can get supply from those people.
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  Those people don't know who they really are.
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  You know who I really am. You're close to me, You know, my
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  kids know who I really am. My wife, my husband, whoever it
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  is, they know who I really am. These people, these strangers,
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  these people I work with, these people I've just interacted
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  with, They don't really know me. So they they so a lot of
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  sometimes they can worship you, you know, they don't really know
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  me. So they can worship me in this
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  space right here. Because they don't know me.
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  They can worship me because they don't know me.
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  They can treasure, they can value me more.
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  They don't know me. They want to be around me.
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  They don't know me so I can trick them.
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  They don't know me. So I have power and control over
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  them. You I have to try to exert power
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  and control over them. They don't know me so I can
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  control the narrative. You see.
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  I have to control you to control the narrative.
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  They don't know me. And I can control the narrative
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  easier. Like, yeah, I'm just telling
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  you, it takes less energy to trick new people than it does to
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  trick to change current current behaviors that are going on, you
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  know? And that's just the truth of it
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  right there. I know so many, so many people
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  get into these dynamics and get into these relationship spaces
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  where you're trying to heal and grow.
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  But it takes, it does take time. It does.
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  You have to learn to value yourself in these relationship
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  spaces, to be able to heal and grow from this narcissistic
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  person. You have to understand that you
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  have more power than you think you do.
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  They want to make. They want to make you feel
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  powerless. So sometimes, even if you try to
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  leave them the power, that's how you look.
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  That's why they try to hurt you, even when you try to leave them,
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  because they know how much power you have.
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  They don't want you to feel it. They don't want you.
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  They don't want you to understand how much power you
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  have. So they want you to feel it.
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  They they try to exert it on you in different ways.
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  They try to hold you down. There's a reason why they're
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  holding you down, because they know how strong you are you.
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  A lot of times you might, you might know how strong you are,
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  but you might have forgot you. You might need a refresher
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  course and how strong you are to be able to get past this.
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  You better get through this. To be able to heal and grow from
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  this, you might need to need a little refresher course on being
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  stronger and being better and creating yourself.
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  Creating a better version of yourself right here.
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  Y'all and not, like I said, and it's going to be if you're still
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  in the relationship or if you're out of a relationship, it's
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  going to frustrate you the way that they treat other people,
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  especially if they're treating other people good.
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  Like I said, like I said in the beginning, there is no guarantee
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  that they will treat everybody else good.
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  Some of them are just assholes and horrible people and
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  everybody gets it. The wait staff, waiters,
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  waitresses, the bus driver, the Uber driver, the the, the
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  stewardess. I mean the the the people in the
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  airport, the flight attendants, you know what I mean?
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  The the pilot, if they can get contact with the pilot,
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  everybody online, their business partners, their friends,
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  everybody gets hurt by this. Everybody gets the worst version
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  of the typical malignant asshole narcissist.
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  Everybody gets the worst version of them.
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  They might have one or two close friends.
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  They just like to have them around because they're fun to be
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  around in certain situations. But everybody else leaves them
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  alone because they hate them. You know what?
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  I can't say and be around this person, but a lot of times in
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  these spaces that type of narcissist is somehow successful
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  because they use people to get to where they are and they have
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  this power dynamic that you work for them.
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  It's hard to get them hard to get away from them.
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  The more power a narcissist feel like they have, the more
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  apartment, the more they're apartment to treat people badly
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  and the active actively be themselves for real.
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  It is a very, it can be a very uniquely horrible dynamic to be
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  in these spaces and be trying to heal and grow and fight and
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  compete with narcissistic people.
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  Y'all, let's just be real. Let's just keep it hot and ready
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  again. Like a Little Caesar's pizza.
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  Absolutely. Little Caesars.
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  Y'all Little Caesars. Pete, I don't know if you're
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  saying that because Little Caesars is big here and Little
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  Caesars is big here in North Carolina.
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  So it's just like we fall into that dynamic a lot.
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  But I'm just trying to. I'm doing these videos right
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  here to just let you know how strong you are.
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  You might have forgot, but look in the mirror today.
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  If you feel like you need to go look in the mirror, go look in
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  the damn mirror and just say I'm strong, I'm worthy, I'm
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  powerful. That's why they try to put me
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  down. They try to do.
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  They try to diminish me and strip me of my worth, their
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  value, because they know how valuable I am.
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  You know they tried to look out. They know that you are a
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  diamond, so they try to bury you so nobody can find you.
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  Nobody can see your true worth. They try to cover you in dirt so
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  nobody can find you. They put a shell over you so
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  nobody can see your true worth. So you can't see your true worth
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  anymore. You can't even see your true
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  shine anymore because you because they covered you up.
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  Uncover yourself. Unbury yourself.
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  You deserve it. Y'all You deserve it.
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  You deserve to be empowered. You deserve to live the life
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  that you want to live. You deserve to be as happy as
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  you want to be. Because that narcissistic
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  person, they know how to treat you, but they're choosing to
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  treat you wrongly on purpose a lot of the times.
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  Y'all. So they treat you badly because
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  you can hurt them, because you're strong.
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  You know it is like legious pandering.
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  No, I'm not pandering. You know this.
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  You know you're strong. You are.
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  You are. And another reason I'll end with
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  this. Some of them will treat you
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  badly. Y'all because they feel like
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  you're OK with it. If they feel like they've gotten
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  away with so many things and they got forgiven for so many
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  things, they feel like this is just part of the relationship
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  dynamic anymore. So why would I change my
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  behaviors if they're acceptable, you know?
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  Anyways, y'all thank you for tuning into another episode,
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  make sure you like and subscribe to the channel if you already
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  haven't. Helps reach more people.
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  Super thankful for you. Join my support groups if you
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  want to check it out, but the illness is out peace.
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  Thank you so much for making it to the end of my video.
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  I am extremely grateful for You have no idea.
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  If you haven't already, make sure you go ahead and subscribe
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  to the channel helps. Reach more people and click on
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  the screen to watch another video or to browse through
• 12:04
  another playlist. There's also a link on the
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  screen to check out my courses and my support groups to help
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  you heal and understand what you've been through.
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  Thank you so much again. I will see you in the next
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  video. Peace.