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From Shame to Self-Acceptance: Navigating Body Positivity · FitMitTuro Fitness Podcast

• 1:06
  Turo Virta: So welcome to hit me Turo fitness podcast today's episode, I'm talking about how to go from same to self acceptance and navigating body positivity, as this is a topic I recently have talked with, actually, a couple of people, how they just can't stand or they can't see them anymore from Miro, and feeling kind of shame when looking into a mirror. And because this is a topic that so many people are struggling, but so few people are talking about this, and I thought that this would be a great topic, and hopefully this will help you.
• 1:55
  Turo Virta: And with this, this episode, I'm providing practical strategies and couple of examples from my clients how they have been able to shift their mindset from same to positivity, and hopefully it helps you, too. And if it does, I really would appreciate five star rating in iTunes and Spotify, as those are helping so much with the reads, and if you have already done it, huge, huge. Thank you for all those who have been already doing it so. So this is, this is recently I talked with pet, who was also part of my podcast guest, or she was participating, and we have been working now long time, and she had a kind of that professional situation that was a stressful situation at work, there were potential layoffs, which obviously affected her stress levels and also body needs. And those, those stressful situations, feeling like that, okay, now there was a stress she didn't have time to work out, and that clicked. It like that. She started to feel like that. She had lost all strength. She started to see it in the mirror, how muscle is disappearing or or she thought that it's all gone, and now all hard work is kind of a way and that, you she doesn't see anymore, that defined body, what she used to see, and she still felt like that. There is that kind of fat, what she didn't want to see, and she just didn't feel good in her body. And also this, these were things like she initially struggled and that then, when we thought she started to shift her mindset little bit about thinking like that was obviously body image issues. They are, they are, you are not happy, what you are seeing and and this is kind of like, in a bit case, like, of course, she had a she's using social media. She have a kind of figure she would love to look and see. Seeing Carrie Underwood was her kind of party type, or person who she would love to see. And when we talk like that, if you really think about it like that, let's say, example, Carrie Underwood is a professional singer. I assume I'm not any specialist. I just happen to know that she's singer, but I don't even know exactly how she's looking, what she's posting, not following her in social media or anything, but think, but I guess if you are following some influencer or a famous celebrity in social media, and you see how amazing that her body looks. It might be same. It's the new and that.
• 4:52
  Turo Virta: Then we were talking like that, if you think like that, what is the reality of some celebrity and versus you just in a normal, regular work, trying to work out, trying to take care of your family. And the difference is that all those professional celebrities, that's their job, that's their job to look good.
• 5:18
  Turo Virta: They have a team who is using all kind of filters, AI tools, to work with those pictures.
• 5:28
  Turo Virta: They have perfect LIGHTNING, LIGHTNING in all pictures. And when you compare yourself with those professional pictures, professional celebrities, who are doing, who is basically who whose job is to look good. And I was obviously, that is, that is how they market. Obviously, even it's a singer, physical appearance, this big part of being, being celebrity. And if you, if you compare yourself like you, have to think that you are comparing you.
• 6:10
  Turo Virta: And not only one professional, but whole team of professionals who is behind that kind of brand, what they are creating, and imagine what kind of filters like. You don't really even know how to use some filters, because it would be, it's so easy in 2024 2025 to work those pictures use some like there were times that you could use Photoshop.
• 6:36
  Turo Virta: Now you can get even for videos.
• 6:40
  Turo Virta: You can since the whole body you are looking and I guarantee if you get some celebrity or okay, they might look, stay pretty okay if they are waiting up in the morning, but they doesn't look they don't post pictures when they wake up in the morning. Look into a mirror and without makeup, without perfect lightning, without without perfect angles, because they most of them, like 90, spin lightning is good. They have had, like a, you know, you, you could do a couple push ups or some exercises your so your body looks more defined, and you start to compare yourself with those kind of situations and persons and images. And it there's no wonder how you are going to feel about yourself when you see those pictures, but if you would see how they look in the morning, how they look in situations that they are not very prepared, or those pictures are not professionally edited or worked, that It's totally different reality and chase or pet was stopping to compare herself with two celebrities, and she started to and not thinking like that, How the way, how she's focusing on her workouts and and thinking like that what she have accomplished, because she have accomplished amazing things within the past 12 months, 18 months and and that is that is amazing progress, and that that is always keep it in your mind that the only person You should compare yourself, is yourself and where you have been, what you have been able to accomplish, and often those kind of feelings of gratitude that those make huge, huge difference, and in a bit like especially the way how we look, because it would be lot easier to get yourself to look the way you would like. But I always love to use this example. How if, if you could choose, if you could choose only one of these two things like that, either you are looking and seeing in the mirror the that, or you would see the person, or you would feel the person who you think you should be looking at, that you'd have a lot more energy.
• 9:41
  Turo Virta: You would have more confidence.
• 9:41
  Turo Virta: And because there is, there is, it's almost impossible to get, get the boat at the same time, or it's very challenging because you don't, you don't know from pictures, you don't see how they are feeling, what kind of diet they are maybe they are starving. Maybe their mental energy is very low and and, but in a pictures, you look amazing.
• 10:07
  Turo Virta: Maybe they are starving themselves so they don't have any enjoyment in their life. And those are kind of things that you have to think that what you would choose if you could choose only one. And most of the people say that, okay, I rather feel confident. I rather feel that I had that perfect look and looking only pictures, because if you feel like a but you look amazing, that is not for most people. It's not the unless it's your job that is not the situation you actually want to be. And I forbid it was the chance was to focus on seeing her workouts. And for so many people, what I have been lucky enough to work with and become friends. It's the shift, mindset shift, when you start to focus on in your workouts, not to work out because you want to look in a certain way, but to focus on simply getting stronger. Because once you get stronger, it's not that, especially most of the women, they are scared of doing some kind of resistance training, strength training, because they are scared that if I do this, I might get too bulky, I get too muscular, and from somehow you have still the limits of, if I start to lift heavier weights, I might end up looking like a body pillar. And this is, that's a wrong attitude, because it's, it's, there are so many people who are trying to get stronger, they use maybe even some steroids or or something, and they are still not able to get that look what they would love to get. And it's, it's funny how even those like what you might think kind of bodybuilders or or strongest women or men in the world, they still struggle with the body image because they they see exactly the same way. Because there are very, very few people who are looking into a mirror and they actually like what they do. But if you shift the focus on your kind of workouts, what you are able to do. How about your body? I will talk about it a bit later more. But when you your body is able to do instead of how it looks like that, that's going to be the game changer. And it was for bed, also when she when she started to track her progress, and not only only your scale weight, because that is probably the worst way you can track your progress. If that is your only way to track your progress is that you step up on the scale every once in a while. That's the best way to currently that you really feel frustrated, because that is something that you are not it's not fully under your control. Like, it's relatively easy to get scale rate going down, but nobody's asking how you are doing. Like, okay, simply is always, I always love to say that, okay, how much you want to lose? Five kilos.
• 13:23
  Turo Virta: Okay, if we cut your arm off, that's a five kilos. If you take if it's one kilo, maybe your hair, it's easier task, or even your other leg going relatively like it's obviously the painful option, but it's not that hard.
• 13:43
  Turo Virta: Or you use kind of methods. If you cut your carbs, you are losing a lot of water weight, as your body is storing temporarily little bit less water, but soon as you eat carbs again, you are gaining scale weight. And it's it might lead that you are in a calorie deficit. You are losing also a bit of body fat. But it's not going to be, or you are, you are restricting or reducing your sodium intake. Those are all kind of things that are storing water in your body, and they are, they are getting your scale weight going down. But it that is the only way to measure your progress. Is it's, it's going to be so frustrating. So please do track your progress, but take many other ways, like like bit strength, aiming to add every week, every second week, every third week, little bit weight of of her, her exercises, and then then that shift, that shift changed everything, and also taking pictures, pictures. I know that people who are struggling with that body same and image. They are not liking to get themselves getting pictures. They are feeling that, I don't like to see those pictures, but they are especially in the beginning, like you don't need to take them often, but when you take them, every once in a while, you see what, how your body is changing.
• 15:26
  Turo Virta: Because if you see yourself every day in the mirror, from the mirror, it's very hard to see, see those things, and then other things. Is that when she started to take body measurements, like tape measurements, there you see how your body is actually you have some other number than scale weight when you take your waist measurements, like arm Francis, hips. So there you see that if you are actually losing body fat, because obviously you are seeing it and feeling it most likely from your clothes too, but they are never kind of accurate. But when you see you have that numeric value, you are saying, Okay, you are doing something correctly. It's working what you are doing.
• 16:22
  Turo Virta: Because what is the worst part is that many people, they think that if, for example, scale weight, you are measuring your progress only with the scale weight, you see that scale weight is not going down, but at the same time you are, you are your energy levels are going up.
• 16:36
  Turo Virta: You are losing your clothes feel better, your measurements, your pictures might be changing, but you are not just seeing that difference, and that is kind of, that is kind of the hardest part of as a coach, when you see that you are doing everything correctly, and you just would need to keep working. You are making progress exactly what you wanted, but then one measurement of out of five is not changing, and as you use this only way to measure your progress, you are thinking that you are not actually making progress. Even you are getting stronger. You are losing body fat. Everything is correct, except that weight is not changing. So please take different kind of measurements and measure your progress with some other ways than just to scale it. Other example of one of my client was me, Patrick. We just talked. He's a younger he's he doesn't have too much overweight, but he just realized that he have got some benefit, and that is bothering him. He's not looking as athletic, despite his running, doing a lot of cardio exercises, but that belly fat is there and he used to have is now almost in her, in his 40s, and he used to have that athletic body, and now it's kind of except like He's even practicing more than before, but it feels so frustrating that he can't see himself anymore from the mural and thinking like that, if this continues like this, because it's not that weight gain haven't been drastic. It's like maybe one, two kilo per year, and that for past 510, years. And so you have gained maybe five kilos in in within the past 10 years. And it's not those changes. They are not huge, but they are just and they are but they are relatively easy to fix with your nutrition, with the way how it's changed everything and and this is also the way, like if you it's often those shifts what you have to do. They are not some huge that you have to change your whole diet or something.
• 19:00
  Turo Virta: It's just paying attention little bit on what you are eating, how you are eating, and what type of robots you are doing, because often more is not always better. Sometimes you have to understand that sometimes it's even less, because I'm it's, it's not only about hard work. I used to be that kind of guy who was thinking that, okay, I can outwork that diet, and that is not the case. But you can, you can do. You can exceed amazing results by working smarter and not necessarily harder. And other, other client I recently thought was, was Johanna, the see we worked initially.
• 19:48
  Turo Virta: Think, we worked two years, three years together, and she got amazing results, and now she thought that she's now able to keep going by herself, and she was actually doing it pretty amazing job. But now past year two, she got stuck into old habits. But unfortunately, often happens, not for everyone. Some of people, they are getting but then it's it's just an easy thing, even you know what you should be doing is that this is working. And she contacted me and again and said that she loved the way, how she felt, how we when we were working. She knows what she should be doing, but she just can't get herself doing the work what she knows she should be doing. And because she said that, it's, it's like, initially you are good, keep working out, but then at some point you might be situation that you talk yourself out of it.
• 20:56
  Turo Virta: Then that week becomes two, three, and then it's months, two months. And with the nutrition wise, those sustainable changes, what you have done, even they were, they were, you were doing them for like she was doing them for two, three years after we didn't work. But then, for some reason, there was some personal things happening in her life and that she couldn't, or she started to, step by step, get back into that Old Master, what she was doing, what was causing all problems, and now she was at the point that she couldn't watch herself anymore from the mirror. And even she knows that what she should be doing, she needs some kind of accountability part, especially now in the beginning, even she knows, but just getting started with with the workout that somebody is checking up with her, making sure that she's doing those things. She have a plan. She knows exactly what to do and and I was she said she was in situation that she knew that she couldn't see herself anymore from the mirror. And it feels so frustrating. But she was kind of that frustrated that she said that, okay, it is what it is, and you can, I can't do anything. You are, like, kind of helpless, and it's already kind of so bottom where you hit that it's, it feels like that it's not even worth it to try go. She had a background. She had done all the diets, what you could have, and she knows that it's so hard always to get back into your diet, because you know that you have done it fast and you have motivation, you have time, you are able to do it. You are accomplishing your goals. But when you are that you miss there is a busy period of work, family and you are not able to follow a strict diet and then A little bit help with with just staying accountable for herself, and not necessarily even she knows what she should be doing, how everything was working, and it's, it's kind of, I'm, I'm, I must say I'm, I'm happy she chose that route. Because even even I would love to say that, you know, all of my clients that they once, they once, we work together. They are, they. Their problems are, are solved for the rest of their life. Obviously, that is the end goal. But unfortunately, that is not how it's working, and we always tend to go back to old habits, step by step, even we know we learned that it's not the sustainable way, and somehow that accountability part is so crucial in this part of the journey, or at least short time in the beginning of your journey, going and doing the right things and not kind of wasting your time. So you know that okay this time, hopefully she's able to do it because it's not it has nothing to do with your willpower or or how motivated or disciplined you are. Those things, they are overestimated as as it's really about doing as little as possible with the most effective strategies there is what are individualized for you in and these strategies, they change in all situations in life. So then little bit about that body positivity because, because body positivity is, is something like that. So so many people, they are. They are like very few people like you can you can say that they are that there is all diversity of human forms and and it doesn't matter what size you are or what your health status is, or how your Physical appearance is, because it's, it's, I believe that all, all everyone deserves to feel good in their own skin and respecting others. And because you never know what is happening with some other person. What is their what things they are going through?
• 25:43
  Turo Virta: What is, how is their mental state, what? Maybe there is some medication or you never know.
• 25:52
  Turo Virta: There's so many possible reasons. So if you are finding yourself to talk with someone that how she's looking what happened to her or him, think that there is you never know what is happening in other person's life, because those are most of the people are not talking about and just trying to accept it that these kind of situations, this happens. It's not it doesn't mean that they are forever, but they could be short period of time in everyone's life, and they are all of those things are possible to change, and how to then practically how to change it, and and just trying to think that body positivity as a mindset as a shifting that kind of focus from appearance to appreciation of the your body's capability. So if you think like that, if you are able to walk, if you are able to hike, and you are reaching top of the mountain or something like what the what I love to do, I always have to dwell. I'm so grateful for my body and thankful that it's able to bring me up here. I'm able to do things, what I love. I have a recent cardiovascular health. I'm able to do everything I want. I have energy levels, and this is not if I'm not, if I think, Okay, I have maybe some belly fat that I would like to reduce, but in the end, it's things what I'm able to do and and all those like I used to think like that when I was younger, especially. And there was a long weekend we went out, and then on Monday or something, they said, it's now, I have to punish myself with a workout. Or I had a friends who we went out on Saturday and then Sunday morning they went to run, or something that you know you have to punish yourself with a workout because you were not good in the day before or weekend before. And this is, this is such a bad way to think exercise that it should never be punishment. It should be pleasure to be able to do and be grateful for your body that you are doing. And when those situations happens, because it happens to everyone, that you end up eating too much, drinking too much, or whatever, what you are not happy about yourself.
• 28:30
  Turo Virta: It's whatever have happened. You can change it, and it doesn't make things better that you punish yourself because punishment, it creates that circle that it It's always like that. Then you might end up starting to think that if I can do all these things, or I can eat now, if I then punish myself and I have to make it good again, and this is such a vicious circle to be into and and think it. Think thinking like trying to talk yourself, when you say, when you the way, how you are starting to talk to yourself, how you are talking to yourself, if you are like that, that I I can't, I can't. And then like Betsy example was that she said that every time I tell to myself, I can't. And then she started to ask better questions from herself that, okay, I can't work out 45 minutes, but how much then she has that? Okay, if I can't do 45 how much I can?
• 29:35
  Turo Virta: And those kind of changes the way, how you are talking yourself is it's such a different it's such such a game changer when you start to use and use those positivity, things like that, okay, you might not look to be how you want, which is, okay, it's totally fine. But when you start to think that for what I'm grateful, and thinking more about that gratefulness and practicing it, it can be it might be very challenging, especially in the beginning. But when you start to think, ask yourself that, well, I'm thankful today for my body, and not only because 1000 of people You think 80, 90% of your thoughts are negative and but when you start to shift, when you recognize yourself thinking negatively about things, but, and then start to shift this like if you get get it like that, maybe 70% instead of 90 only 70% are negative thoughts, you are making amazing progress. And then maybe at some point you end up having a 5050, balance or or even more positive thoughts than negative thoughts.
• 30:54
  Turo Virta: And those are, those are kind of things when you start to think about it and stop all the time thinking negatively, they are going to make such a big difference for your mental health, the way how you feel about yourself, and shifting that same from the positivity and practical other strategies is like I said, that's kind of practicing gratitude you you, you are able to open a jar, box or or you are able to walk, you are able to whatever you are able to do. It's a it's just a normal things, because there are so many people who are not able to do those things, what you might be able to do, even, even it feels kind of stupid, but it's, it is what it is. It is true, then kind of creating those positive environments. So putting it, you could be decorating, for example, mirrors with the positive permissions and that inspires your joy or or put it, put it into a place, like just the writing notes for yourself somewhere in your fridge, or where you see that.
• 32:49
  Turo Virta: Uh, then into the places of positivity. You could write, if you hate yourself looking from the mirror, you could write into your mirror some message for yourself when you start to feeling like that. And then, obviously, other amazing way is to have some kind of community support accountability for those things. If you have that who are party positive communities, it's it could be in online, in person, or having some kind of coach who is helping you with your struggles that you can talk about these things. Because most people, they are not even talking about these things. They are. They are just keeping them in their mind, never talking about it, and that is so challenging to come out from these challenges, if you never kind of put it out, you just think it yourself and and never put it out. So just reminder and conclusion for this episode. If you remember those stories, what I said, and you don't, you don't need to do everything at the same time what I started, but just think one of these things, what I said, what, how you would be implementing it today into your body, and it's, it's, this is every one journey is individual. It's not linear.
• 34:15
  Turo Virta: Progress is not linear, and it's different. Progress for each person might look different. So don't compare your if you are just starting this, you are page one. Don't compare yourself someone who is in page 86 so only person who used to compare yourself is yourself and where you are, what situation you are, and not comparing with someone else. So if you have any personal stories I would love to hear from, from you, feel free to DM me my instagram or email me Turo at fit me turo.com I will put links to show notes, and if you have any anything you want to talk about it, feel free to reach out. I'm always here for you. So as this episode is coming out, just before Christmas, I wish you and your own loved ones. Mary Merry Christmas. And thank you so much for your support it means so much to me, so thank you for listening, and talk to you soon.