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Rabbi Moshe Haber Path of the Just: Developing Unconditional Love and Acceptance of Hashem's Will 11.25.25 · Rabbi Moshe Haber - Daily Mussar/Weekly Perasha

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  Seriously, really and say brings his basuk Good see brings a
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  basuk of and the class the way they came out breaks it down.
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  Means literally, a person should be willing to give up of his
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  total self and the sake of love of Hashem and of all his money
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  homo dirca for that sake as well.
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  Which means that the expectation or the hope is that a person not
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  have to be in this position ever.
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  But be willing to say, even if it's going to cost me a lot of
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  money to do them, it's far. I'm all in.
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  Even if it's very expensive or I have the whole I'll give you an
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  example where it chose if a person's forced to do the right
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  thing and financially is going to cost himself a lot of money.
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  And people face this and you say, oh, sometimes and they make
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  the right decision, let's say of doing that right thing and they
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  cost themselves a lot of money. And the only reason why they're
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  doing it is because I have a connection to Hashem and I
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  believe it's the right thing to do that connection.
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  That is a moment of the after the shamma as a third on the
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  list. And it's all of your might.
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  All of your might actually means all of your money and it means a
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  person is willing to say I have the money in my hands.
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  It's coming to me. I can easily get it all those
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  angles and say, you know what, I'm not going to do that ideal.
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  I'm not going to pursue that option.
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  I'm not going to profession over there.
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  I'm not going to do that because it's wrong.
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  And that angle. People love to talk about doing
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  that. People have a very hard time
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  actually following through on that.
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  I understand why, but he's telling you that's love of a
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  shame. Behold, no, the all energy.
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  Now the issue is, as we said yesterday, love normally is
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  connected and contingent on a certain thing.
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  And our goal when we come to this connection to Hashem is to
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  have that connection completely independent of a reason.
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  I love Hashem simply because I do.
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  That's what we said. That's our goal.
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  Why is it the goal? Because otherwise, if it's
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  dependent on reasons, what ends up happening #1 the reason go
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  away, the love is gone. Classic example that we said,
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  you know, you talk was his love of yourself.
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  He said I saw he loved him because of reason.
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  And the rabbi say everyone says that's what I told you, the
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  reason to tell you that it was contingent on something.
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  And it was all depend on the fact that I saw have either
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  tricked him or I saw have served him.
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  When either one of those going away, it's haka vino loved the
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  alcove just the same 'cause you minus the reason, you minus the
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  love. That's the issue in the morning
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  #2 and then you play into a very unhealthy cycle.
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  The way it works is if you love is based on reasons, then you
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  constantly like only the basing. You love basing the reason, like
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  we said before, and also you're trying to find those reasons and
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  you find opposite reasons and you get upset.
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  If your relationship is so much contingent on things, it becomes
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  a very unhealthy relationship. That's reality.
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  And that's really something we do not need to have with Hashem.
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  I was supposed to have a real 1. So now how do you get there this
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  recess? Omna Kadesh reality is people do
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  face challenges. Every one of us faces levels of
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  challenges. And because of that, we're at
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  risk of having a weakened connection.
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  Daishan, because of these challenges.
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  How do you get past omna Kadesh and order not to allow our
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  challenges, our pressures? Any one of us faces stress
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  during a time you face stress. You can't think, right?
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  You can't function. How you going to have a love
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  about shem? What are you worried about the
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  next bill? How you going to have a love
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  about shem? Or you're worried about getting
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  along with so and so? How's it possible?
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  So he says, yesh la Adam la sheba.
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  That's more. There are two angles #1A simple
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  angle #2A deeper angle. Hot man, this is like I said,
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  simple but hard to really honestly accept.
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  You had to accept it Your entire life you're working on this.
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  You've been spending your whole life working on this already and
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  he's telling you it's going to change your relationship with
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  God. It's going to change how you
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  think about shame if you accept this light.
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  How hot man Shavella honefish is a line that is equal for
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  everybody and the second one is only for those who are deep.
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  What is the one that's equal for all?
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  How hot he is, the one that every kid is told call my dad
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  Dean mean shamaya lata or karma al Dina Rahman al attabadi.
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  Whatever Hashem does, it's for the good, acceptable.
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  Don't give me, don't think about the extreme sad tragedy.
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  Think about the classic situation in our lives.
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  Is it something we can accept, Command Abid Rahman al attabi?
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  Everything Hashem does, it's for the good.
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  Right in the bed, huh? Even even within his things that
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  seem much better. Look at it that way too.
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  Was it Kiafilo, Alzaro? Even that struggle Vadak under
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  pressure, which seems to our eyes is bad and it'll be met.
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  It's rather only good. Now can we accept that concept
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  in our own lives? David, you have.
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  A choice you. Have a choice, you have to
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  accept any what you think. I think that's the that's that's
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  the goal of the game. You, you accept the world of
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  Hashem, right? And now you don't kind of that
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  resistance. I know because when you don't
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  right, you better you you become just not not the person that
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  they're on clouds trying to build their.
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  Correct. The goal of this is a
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  development of a person's connection and the reason our
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  connection can be constantly stopped and halted is because we
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  have so many things that throw off have feeling.
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  I love about Sham, but I think he loves me.
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  And then this goes wrong, right? How does that work?
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  Or that goes wrong. Yeah, but you have your hair
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  styled. Maybe you did something wrong.
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  OK, now so then, you know, very important to not play that into.
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  I had a conversation with someone a couple days ago who
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  really The conversation from last week who had something go
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  very wrong. The business and the guy came to
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  me and said I'm doing Heisbourne and I believe it's because I
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  said absolutely not stop right there, please stop right there.
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  And it's not how we do things. It doesn't just because we make
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  it Heisbourne and we do calculate what we've done.
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  Do not play God, don't make a connection and say this happened
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  because of that. If you want to capitalize on the
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  moment after the challenge happens, say I'm going to better
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  myself, call a Cavour. Just for the sake of making
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  myself better make. Myself better and I'll use this
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  as my fuel even that's fine. And in fact what you'll do is
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  you'll make something good out of something bad when you do
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  that. That's oh great, that's a person
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  who's responding, but he's on the positive track, he's
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  continuous positive nature and he's using the bed to lift him
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  up. That's great.
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  But the guy who looks at the bed and says oh it must be a shame
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  did this to me and that to me and I'm doing this wrong.
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  It's the wrong response. He has to fix things up.
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  Maybe in his own life, great, but he cannot use Hashem's
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  actions as Hashem talking to him in that way.
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  It's a very dangerous thing when people say Hashem is talking to
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  me and they go negative. If they go and lift themselves
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  off to more positive, great, but if they go dark, they go
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  negative because Hashem is talking to them.
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  You're misunderstanding God's word and you mistranslate it.
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  That's a key point dude. Keep on.
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  That'd be my response. So you want to keep the
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  relationship steady and strong and healthy with God.
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  How do you keep his steady, strong and healthy?
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  By considering everything. Always a one way good ticket
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  called ascending and sending and sending.
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  Yeah, but He's sending me inability to make that deal.
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  Or he's sending me a challenge with that son or a challenge
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  with that daughter or an issue in my home or a flight.
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  Everything has to go or health right or someone in the family
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  is not healthy or like I said, a flood, something going wrong.
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  He sent me. Over the course of last year,
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  I've told you as many times about 10 to 20 major leak
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  problems in my house, something unbelievable.
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  And then I came back after the summer and if I thought it was
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  all over and we found I came back August 20th.
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  The worst day to come back is somewhere late in August.
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  Do you want to come back in the middle of the summer?
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  Come back early. Don't come late August because
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  it's already too late to witness anything and it's just
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  frustrating. And I came back and my wife says
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  it smells of hair, it smells smells like water.
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  Walk in the house, go upstairs and they're on the top landing
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  is literally the rug is soaked. Is mold growing because the AEC
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  official allegedly the AEC leaked and broke the ceiling
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  down and made a flood and the copper at the rooftop upstairs.
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  And that was after a year long issue with all sorts of water
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  things. The amount of things I would
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  water and I my ankle so far has been and my and turn out of mine
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  can't go with that angle. OK that's the only thing I got
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  was positive I shouldn't want more or something.
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  I can't figure it out what I had.
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  I burst in the ceiling. I burnt water boiler another
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  issue with the water boiler 3 radiators that cracked.
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  I had endless things. The AC problem, another AC
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  problem, 2 frozen pipes. Forget about it.
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  It's like a used car. So it feels like it feels like
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  this an old house. Never know what they did.
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  All this stuff, David and how many years ago.
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  This is already done five years ago.
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  All this obviously does less than five years ago.
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  That's why it's. Yeah, it's clear indication that
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  we got to go chase those people down.
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  But my point is I'm not going to take it as a message from
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  Hashem. Yeah, I got to do something
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  better on my house or whatever, you know, check things already
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  did that. I was already done.
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  But all that clear. I got you.
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  But overall, you got to say God Zulu Tova and accept and move
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  on. Every time this happens, I say
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  Hashem, thank you. I'm going out to the next day,
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  Hashem, thank you, I'm good. All this has to be our minds.
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  Accept and move on. And then somehow your
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  relationship, not only does it get worse, your relationship
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  gets better from the good times and gets better from those
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  moments. Because if you have the strength
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  during those moments to still see Hashem, that it is certain
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  consistency that develops a certain closeness that is
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  inseparable. The greatest thing you want with
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  your connection that Hashem is consistency.
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  The greatest thing you want your marriage is consistency, right?
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  People out marriages, a lot of people have it, those young
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  marriages when they go up and down and up and down, up and
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  down. And then they get to a point
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  where, sure, there's disagreements and sure, the
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  moments that are off, but there's certain equilibrium, a
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  certain balance that's there. If you attain that, or we'll
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  hope to attain that when you get there, then it's a stronger
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  build. You don't notice it, but slowly
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  every day is feeding off the day before and it becomes stronger.
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  Even if there are moments that there are disagreements and
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  strong ones, it still has a degree of balance.
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  And the same thing you and I shall, when you are able to get
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  to a point that the bad days are not really the disruptive days
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  and the love and the connection gets stronger and stronger.
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  And the way to do that is Coleman David Rahman.
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  Whatever Hashem does, it's really good.
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  You can build upon that. You can see that in your own
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  life. You can use your own experiences
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  to develop that mindset. By the way, what percentage of
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  bad things that have happened to you have turned out to be good?
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  How many jobs that we've not taken?
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  How many girls do we not marry? How many schools do we not send
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  our children to? How many friends that I chosen
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  not be friend, How many people that I chosen not marry, right?
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  All those knots, how many houses and deal that we didn't rent or
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  homes in Brooklyn that we didn't buy.
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  And there's so many different angles that you can say, you
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  know what, they seemed bad. I was upset, I was disappointed.
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  I was very frustrated at the moment.
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  I couldn't understand why not. And you know what, it worked
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  out. I'm a relatively young guy.
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  I have a bunch of jobs I didn't take, bunch of things I have,
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  places I didn't learn, people I didn't marry, all those things
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  on the table. And they're all blessing, right?
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  And you can say the same because you could all say the same.
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  Everybody would have that blessing of what didn't happen.
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  Vacations you didn't go on, trips you didn't take, all these
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  things that sometimes at the time they were very frustrating.
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  And maybe even now you still don't know why they didn't
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  happen. But ultimately you have built a
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  perspective of Lutav Avid. Everything's really good.
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  And what it did is it strengthened and developed and
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  made your relationship with God stronger and stronger and
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  stronger. You say, why is it stronger?
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  You're just OK? No, because you don't have
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  disruptive God. Exactly.
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  Thinking Hashem for the things he doesn't give us, right?
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  I voted the persona exactly the voids.
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  You think of all these things, you know, so you have to put it
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  aside and just. Yeah, and you'll find.
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  Exactly. And you'll find that these
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  things are actually for your benefit.
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  So many of the things you didn't do, places you didn't move to,
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  jobs you didn't take. I mean, everyone of you have
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  jobs you could have taken, have gotten involved in, and you
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  might have at the time sent. It's been a lot of work I should
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  have been involved in. And, you know, I think I was
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  making millions. He's still happy and on that
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  position of fire. So I had a personal scenario
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  happen for me kind of busy 15 years ago.
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  We, we were buying his property and we got a little bit, I guess
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  it was Gabao Cabot because when the guy tried that bid us, I
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  said no, no, no, I'm going to get it.
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  And then we kept on going out the very dangerous price for
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  this property. And then what happened 2008, the
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  day, the day after the, the guy took my deposit already the
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  house is worth half and nothing to do about it.
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  It's like I'm not going to lose the Lotto And I, I saw for the
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  first time, like when Hashem gives you that, that guidance,
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  you have to, you have to like take a step back and and he's
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  saving you for something, right? I mean, ironically, 15 years
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  later, there was a, another recalculation of a Kadosh
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  parochial. You know, he the the pipes
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  busted or got a brand new house for the same money we paid, but
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  it's another 18 years of of looking at that every time I
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  drove by especially I need to listen to the God.
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  Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that's the level of strength
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  and that's an approach beforehand.
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  And the key, by the way, is to have this approach prior.
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  So when you hit those moments as we all do, you look at them, you
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  say it's going to be good, it's good.
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  And then you have to hold down because you keep seeing it seems
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  like bed and he keeps seeing frustration.
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  You keep thinking over over again and somebody tell yourself
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  it's going to be good. Tell me.
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  Wife yells at me. I'm always calm, right?
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  You'd be so calm. Exactly.
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  Am I alright? I like tells me it doesn't
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  anything bother you. He said.
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  Should go to. Doesn't anything bother you
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  like? Right, right.
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  We ultimately these things become steadiness.
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  And I'm telling you, the health, yeah, the health that a person
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  gets when they have this consistency built upon this line
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  and that mindset, you do it in events, evades those moments.
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  And then you become liftoffs and somehow you develop and develop
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  and develop. Before you know it, you watch
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  people out there in the in the community, in the world, they're
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  going there. They go so stream, they get so
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  upset, they get so frustrated and so nervous and all these
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  terms. And you say to yourself, I'm
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  fine, I'm good. I know there's a lot out there.
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  I know there's a lot of fear and a lot of things to make me
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  scared and all that stuff, but I'm settled and I'm good.
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  And it seems to always work out. And people tell you, yeah, but
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  what about that story? What about the other story?
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  Other stories? You're right.
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  There's a few involved between stories.
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  Can't answer. You said it yesterday, but I
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  will say this. Those stories are for those
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  people. They're expected to answer.
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  They can't answer, but they're affected to live with it and
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  figure out a way. We're not expected to look at
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  someone else's story and figure out one of the biggest
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  misconceptions of my humble opinion about the M1R stories.
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  Is Oz a take away from some House of life?
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  I don't need their life. My whole life is impressive
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  enough or incredible enough. I've I figured out my
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  connection. You figure out your connection
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  somehow in your mix, your level of income is working out for you
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  with your children and your mix, your home, your property, your
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  neighbors is somehow developing you and your family and your
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  mix. It all comes together.
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  And the other guy looking and said, I don't like that.
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  I don't see that doesn't make sense over there.
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  That's because you're looking for a side view.
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  You live it, you figure it out. Does it include challenges?
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  It does, but it blends into your connection to God.
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  It's all part of relationship. Every part of our souls is part
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  of our connection to God. Our temperament, our amount of
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  money, our family, our marriage, our home that we live in, the in
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  laws that we have, the in laws that we don't have, the
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  struggles that we have with our in laws, the struggles that we
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  have and work, the city that we live in, the mayor that we have.
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  Everything fits into your temperament and it's supposed to
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  create your blend, your ingredient to come out of a new,
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  beautiful, perfect fruit. That's the idea.
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  You do it there. Also, they make it when you
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  after you read like the 4th and Mona book currently it denounced
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  like a Disney ammonia. We've always happily ever after.
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  And what happens is and I go to some pistol, they use that as
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  their inspiration. They're kind of left at the clip
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  because when it's not, you know, warm and fuzzy, I shouldn't.
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  It's like I was punishing, right?
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  Yeah. So then they say when the author
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  of the Amuna book came here and he ended, I was very actually
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  happy and surprised he ended his speech with basically a a non
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  closing. In other words, I don't know
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  what's going to be when he told someone.
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  But you're right. The reason they write those
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  books that way is because that's what sells.
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  That's what people are going to read.
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  Don't think of a book and saying so and so had a deal and he lost
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  it. What happened afterwards, but
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  but that's reality of life and that is meant to be part of the
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  emunah and that is part of the picture.
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  The heart of emunah of the core of faith is its connection to
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  God, and that is the overall approach.
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  You're right, Hap of Disney does not Disney is a fake existence.
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  Everything in Disney is fake and then we're not version of Disney
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  is fake. It's rather a certain strong,
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  healthy connection you build upon.
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  That connection includes, however, a lot, a lot of good.
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  The amount of if you had a scale, the amount of our way in
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  a good to come to bed over bed. It's unbelievable.
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  We never think about the fact that children that we have or
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  the the home that we have, the families, all these things that
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  we grow up in, we say, oh, we have this bigger family.
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  It's like part of our culture. It's our culture.
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  It's a gift, right? The cousins, the family, the
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  rabbis, the shul, the schools, the children, all the
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  businesses, all these things are all unbelievably imbalanced.
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  Gift they are. And because of that, the scale
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  should be a lot of connection, a lot of frustration.
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  But I'm going to see you pass the frustration to keep that
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  connection because I know it's all good.
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  That should be the scale. So when a guy has a real
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  example, a guy has enough money to live, a home to live in,
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  right? Roof over his head, a place to
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  go in the summer, he has two cars, he's able to pay tuition,
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  he has family, a nice family. He has health.
• 20:05
  Keep David. You're right.
• 20:06
  I'm sorry, you're right. He has health and he's able to
• 20:09
  go on vacation, yes or no. And he has this one kid that
• 20:12
  drives him by Nur, which a lot of people have, right?
• 20:14
  One kid, a million guts on his nerves.
• 20:17
  That's a one. Let's make it easier if he wants
• 20:18
  everyone. It drives him crazy.
• 20:20
  He's on his nerves constantly, right?
• 20:22
  That person. Has a hard time, I know this
• 20:25
  that first has a hard time looking at the wife and saying
• 20:28
  life and saying it's a life wife all life by the way, and saying
• 20:31
  it's a blessing and that person is actually his nature is very
• 20:37
  imbalance because you should be looking at saying this is a
• 20:39
  crazy man of Baraka and this is Hashem saying Moshe create the
• 20:44
  connection. That's what God says God Moshe
• 20:46
  make the connection or Joe makes Nash.
• 20:48
  That's all it is, is Hashem giving him unbelievable Hava and
• 20:52
  say I'm asking of you to just see good everything to finish
• 20:57
  out the picture. Just complete the picture.
• 21:00
  Another painting is 95% full. I'd like you to make it 100%
• 21:03
  full and that's your job. Your job is to complete the job,
• 21:06
  complete the picture. When you do, you're unbelievable
• 21:10
  and your connection to God is something out of this world.
• 21:12
  You look at people who are always happy and you say how do
• 21:15
  they do that? Answer is they have this
• 21:17
  perspective. You see, all this is you're a
• 21:20
  little black over there and they say one second I'm going to
• 21:23
  complain. Whole thing's a miracle.
• 21:26
  I was dealing with someone recently whose life turned
• 21:29
  upside down multiple times, upside down with his jobs.
• 21:33
  But at the same time, he's way beyond expectation, blessed.
• 21:39
  And he gave me this perspective. He said I'm going to complain.
• 21:42
  My whole life is a miracle. Everything, every place that I'm
• 21:44
  in is a miracle. The fact that I have to deal
• 21:46
  with this one thing all over again, I'm going to see it the
• 21:48
  right way because everything's a miracle.
• 21:50
  And that has to be our perspective, has to be our
• 21:52
  perspective that we're built on miracles. 95% noticeable to 5%
• 21:58
  gap is the area that you need to make a connection.
• 22:02
  As we said before, if a person would have the answer to that
• 22:05
  5%, it would be game over. To be nothing to that person,
• 22:09
  you need to develop the connection.
• 22:11
  And that requires your angle to his idea.
• 22:13
  All right.