Latest / ok storytime / My wife wants to ADOPT her sister's kids... so I told her I'm leaving! -r/AmITheAsshole | Reddit Stories | EP3151

Transcript

My wife wants to ADOPT her sister's kids... so I told her I'm leaving! -r/AmITheAsshole | Reddit Stories | EP3151 · ok storytime

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Hey, this is Riley.
• 0:01
  Speaker 2: And this is Keon, your favorite OK Storytime host, and
• 0:04
  Speaker 2: we've got some great stories coming up.
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: But before we get.
• 0:06
  Speaker 3: To that, we have a quick two-minute break from the
• 0:09
  Speaker 3: sponsors that keep the show alive.
• 0:11
  Speaker 4: My wife wants to adopt her sister's kids, so I
• 0:15
  Speaker 4: told her I'm leaving.
• 0:17
  Speaker 5: What's wrong with the kids? Are they dinosaurs?
• 0:20
  Speaker 4: Trigger warning for substance use disorder and depictions of very
• 0:24
  Speaker 4: toxic households. I've known my wife for nine years, dated
• 0:27
  Speaker 4: for five, and we've been married for just under six months.
• 0:31
  Speaker 4: She comes from an insanely toxic family. She was emancipated
• 0:36
  Speaker 4: at 16 and to this day refuses to speak to
• 0:39
  Speaker 4: any of her family. They all have a substance use
• 0:41
  Speaker 4: disorder with amphetamines and her sister is on it and
• 0:46
  Speaker 4: anything she can get her hands on. Her sister has
• 0:48
  Speaker 4: three kids, ages nine months, female, six years, male, and
• 0:53
  Speaker 4: 13 years, female. My wife began taking care of these
• 0:57
  Speaker 4: children when the first was born, when she was only
• 1:00
  Speaker 4: seven years old, because no one else would. For whatever reason,
• 1:04
  Speaker 4: CPS never took the kids away, despite near-constant monitoring. And
• 1:09
  Speaker 4: the last my wife knew of these kids was three
• 1:11
  Speaker 4: years ago when she permanently cut her family off. Her
• 1:15
  Speaker 4: parents always assumed she would adopt any children her sister produced.
• 1:18
  Speaker 4: This actually was the beginning of the rift that led
• 1:21
  Speaker 4: to her cutting her parents off. And we're never shy
• 1:24
  Speaker 4: about it.
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: That is insanity.
• 1:28
  Speaker 5: This is a horrible, horrible story.
• 1:31
  Speaker 4: When we started dating, she was 15. I was 17.
• 1:35
  Speaker 4: I told her that if she adopted those kids, then
• 1:37
  Speaker 4: the relationship wouldn't work. Because if I'm having kids, they
• 1:41
  Speaker 4: are going to need to be my own. And by
• 1:44
  Speaker 4: the way, this comes from user 123412341232122. And if you
• 1:50
  Speaker 4: want to submit your own stories, go to the r
• 1:51
  Speaker 4: slash OK Storytime subreddit. I'm Dakota.
• 1:53
  Speaker 5: And I'm Savannah.
• 1:54
  Speaker 4: And our job is to give our best good advice goofily.
• 1:58
  Speaker 4: This story might not be very goofy. It sounds very
• 2:02
  Speaker 4: serious and sad. But whatever you would do, let us
• 2:05
  Speaker 4: know in the comments because it might be different from us.
• 2:08
  Speaker 4: And OP says, there's an edit. My mind was going
• 2:11
  Speaker 4: a million miles an hour when I typed this. This
• 2:13
  Speaker 4: is not an all-encompassing statement. When I typed it, I
• 2:17
  Speaker 4: was focused on my current situation. I would not be
• 2:19
  Speaker 4: opposed to marrying someone with kids already. I just expected
• 2:23
  Speaker 4: never to raise these children and I do not want to.
• 2:27
  Speaker 4: She agreed and said she had no desire to ever
• 2:29
  Speaker 4: adopt her sister's kids. I also just deleted like five
• 2:33
  Speaker 4: paragraphs worth of useless details because I'm just ranting.
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: I will just get to the point.
• 2:37
  Speaker 4: So out of the blue last week, she tells me
• 2:40
  Speaker 4: that she feels guilty about leaving the children behind and
• 2:43
  Speaker 4: she's planning on reaching out to her sister to formally
• 2:46
  Speaker 4: adopt them. I told her, Heck no. I made it
• 2:50
  Speaker 4: clear very early on that I do not want to
• 2:52
  Speaker 4: raise those kids. She told me that she assumed I
• 2:55
  Speaker 4: would grow out of it and accept them. We argued
• 2:58
  Speaker 4: and have been arguing over and over for days now
• 3:01
  Speaker 4: about her decision. She has since reached out to her
• 3:03
  Speaker 4: sister and has started the process of adopting the children.
• 3:07
  Speaker 4: The oldest girl is pregnant.
• 3:09
  Speaker 5: Oof.
• 3:10
  Speaker 4: The middle child's a decent kid and the youngest one
• 3:12
  Speaker 4: only got out of prenatal ICU five months ago. I
• 3:16
  Speaker 4: am 22. She is 20.
• 3:18
  Speaker 5: Oh, this is a horrible situation to be in. Holy crap.
• 3:25
  Speaker 4: I mean, I think she's clearly making this from an
• 3:27
  Speaker 4: emotional place, which is, I mean, the most sensible thing
• 3:32
  Speaker 4: in the world. And I don't think either of you
• 3:36
  Speaker 4: are capable or equipped to raise these children in any way. Yeah, it.
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: Oh, this is hard.
• 3:45
  Speaker 4: Oh, this is really hard. I don't know how you
• 3:47
  Speaker 4: can get that through to your girlfriend or your wife because,
• 3:53
  Speaker 4: you know, it's coming from a very emotional place and
• 3:56
  Speaker 4: emotions are illogical, but you guys can't raise three kids
• 3:59
  Speaker 4: right now.
• 3:59
  Speaker 1: You're kids.
• 4:01
  Speaker 4: You are also kids.
• 4:03
  Speaker 5: That's, yeah, that's what I was thinking. Like, you guys
• 4:06
  Speaker 5: are 20, just started, like, freshly 20, and I just don't, like, that's,
• 4:12
  Speaker 5: three kids with one on the way. And it's just like,
• 4:18
  Speaker 5: as much as, you know, you want to help those kids,
• 4:21
  Speaker 5: you want them to grow up to be, you know,
• 4:23
  Speaker 5: good people and make good decisions and whatnot. The damage
• 4:26
  Speaker 5: is done. I mean, like I, I don't know. I
• 4:30
  Speaker 5: feel like that's a harsh thing to say. And I
• 4:32
  Speaker 5: don't like that. This has come to that, but I
• 4:35
  Speaker 5: just don't, I don't know what, like, cause there's also
• 4:39
  Speaker 5: foster foster system, but that also is not, that great.
• 4:43
  Speaker 5: It's just I don't really know what would be the
• 4:46
  Speaker 5: right decision.
• 4:46
  Speaker 4: Yeah, there is no good path forward. But I think
• 4:49
  Speaker 4: if you if your wife wants to help these kids,
• 4:53
  Speaker 4: I think the best way to do it isn't to
• 4:55
  Speaker 4: adopt them right now, but it's to build yourself up
• 4:58
  Speaker 4: so that you have the resources and ability to help
• 5:01
  Speaker 4: them later in life. Because I don't know what the
• 5:04
  Speaker 4: that the oldest kid is going to do being 13
• 5:06
  Speaker 4: or 14 and pregnant. But I don't know if she's
• 5:10
  Speaker 4: going to keep that baby. But if she does, then
• 5:12
  Speaker 4: it's like now you're raising four kids.
• 5:14
  Speaker 5: Yeah. And the one is what like just got out
• 5:17
  Speaker 5: of ICU. Yeah.
• 5:18
  Speaker 4: And one is a nine month old ICU baby.
• 5:21
  Speaker 5: That's just God. This is just it's absolutely horrific situation
• 5:26
  Speaker 5: to be in. I don't even know what I truthfully
• 5:29
  Speaker 5: wouldn't know what to do. Yeah.
• 5:30
  Speaker 4: There's there's no there's no good options here. I think
• 5:34
  Speaker 4: even if I wanted to adopt these kids, I would
• 5:36
  Speaker 4: still want to say no due to our age and
• 5:38
  Speaker 4: financial situation. She works at a makeup store. I work
• 5:41
  Speaker 4: at a grocery store, for F's sake. I haven't straight
• 5:44
  Speaker 4: up told her that I'm planning on leaving yet, but
• 5:46
  Speaker 4: I've already told my parents that if she doesn't stop,
• 5:48
  Speaker 4: then that is my plan. Am I the a-hole here?
• 5:52
  Speaker 4: And there is an update. I mean, no. You're a realist,
• 5:56
  Speaker 4: and you said it from the beginning. You're like, if
• 5:59
  Speaker 4: you adopt the kids, this isn't going to work. And
• 6:02
  Speaker 4: I don't know. I think, yeah, y'all need a council.
• 6:09
  Speaker 4: Y'all need mentors.
• 6:11
  Speaker 5: Is there not like an aunt or uncle maybe that
• 6:15
  Speaker 5: could help, you know, something? It's just, I don't know.
• 6:19
  Speaker 5: I'm trying to go with all options of just like
• 6:22
  Speaker 5: keeping it like in the family rather than like outsourcing
• 6:25
  Speaker 5: to other like strangers for help, you know? But I also,
• 6:29
  Speaker 5: you know, given the financial situation where you guys are
• 6:32
  Speaker 5: and you've been married six months and now you're going
• 6:34
  Speaker 5: to have four kids.
• 6:36
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 6:36
  Speaker 5: That are all different ages, all sorts of different problems with,
• 6:40
  Speaker 5: I mean, like, that's just too much. That is so
• 6:43
  Speaker 5: much to put on someone. And I understand that her
• 6:45
  Speaker 5: heart is in the right place. She's trying. She feels
• 6:48
  Speaker 5: bad for those kids. She wants to help out. I
• 6:50
  Speaker 5: commend her for that. But also, you have to listen
• 6:53
  Speaker 5: to your partner as well in this situation. So I
• 6:56
  Speaker 5: don't think that you're being the a-hole. I don't think
• 6:59
  Speaker 5: she's being the a-hole either, but I do think that
• 7:01
  Speaker 5: there is a communication issue that needs to be resolved
• 7:03
  Speaker 5: here to where you can come to maybe some sort
• 7:05
  Speaker 5: of compromise or some sort of understanding.
• 7:08
  Speaker 4: I think something needs to happen so that your wife
• 7:12
  Speaker 4: doesn't throw her whole life away for these kids while
• 7:15
  Speaker 4: she's not in a position to be able to raise them.
• 7:17
  Speaker 4: I mean, I know she would get money from adopting them.
• 7:22
  Speaker 5: But never enough.
• 7:24
  Speaker 4: Yeah, and it's a lot. That is a huge, huge undertaking.
• 7:30
  Speaker 4: It's one thing to.
• 7:31
  Speaker 5: Like maybe already have children and have gone through it
• 7:34
  Speaker 5: and have that experience. But you guys have no experience with,
• 7:38
  Speaker 5: you know, kids of your own. And to be thrown
• 7:41
  Speaker 5: into like a teen pregnancy and then another just eight
• 7:45
  Speaker 5: year old child who's doing pretty decent. And then one
• 7:48
  Speaker 5: that just came out of the ICU five months ago.
• 7:50
  Speaker 5: That is like. Anyone in this situation would be like,
• 7:54
  Speaker 5: I have no idea what to do. This is not
• 7:57
  Speaker 5: a normal situation by any means.
• 7:59
  Speaker 1: I think.
• 8:01
  Speaker 4: Somehow the best situation it looks like is just getting
• 8:04
  Speaker 4: CPS to take those kids out of that house. Truthfully, yeah.
• 8:09
  Speaker 4: It's crazy.
• 8:10
  Speaker 5: I mean, first things first, they need to get out
• 8:12
  Speaker 5: of that house because obviously that is not doing anything
• 8:16
  Speaker 5: any good for them at least.
• 8:18
  Speaker 4: And that has its own host of issues and pitfalls,
• 8:21
  Speaker 4: but it's better than them being there.
• 8:24
  Speaker 5: Yeah, and watching all of that and growing up on that,
• 8:26
  Speaker 5: it's just that, no, no, no, no, no.
• 8:29
  Speaker 1: Well, there's an update. So, it's been a couple of
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: weeks since my last post.
• 8:33
  Speaker 4: I got so many messages for an update that I
• 8:35
  Speaker 4: figured I may as well let everyone know what's happened.
• 8:37
  Speaker 4: I talked with my wife that night about my plans
• 8:40
  Speaker 4: and about what she was doing. A commenter pointed out
• 8:42
  Speaker 4: the irony of her cutting off her parents for determining
• 8:45
  Speaker 4: her life while she was doing the same to me.
• 8:48
  Speaker 4: I pointed this out to her and she became angry,
• 8:51
  Speaker 4: telling me that it wasn't the same thing. We argued
• 8:54
  Speaker 4: about this for a while before dropping it and addressing
• 8:57
  Speaker 4: other issues. We argued about two-ish hours and then decided
• 9:01
  Speaker 4: to drop it for the night and talk about it
• 9:03
  Speaker 4: again when we weren't so fired up. I could go
• 9:06
  Speaker 4: on and on about the conversations we had the next day,
• 9:09
  Speaker 4: but eventually we both mutually decided that it would be
• 9:11
  Speaker 4: best if we separated for the time being. At that point,
• 9:14
  Speaker 4: I was unable to get her to stop pursuing the
• 9:16
  Speaker 4: kids and I had made it clear at the beginning
• 9:18
  Speaker 4: of the relationship it wasn't going to work out. I
• 9:21
  Speaker 4: moved back in with my parents and we both have
• 9:24
  Speaker 4: been looking for someone to take over our apartment lease.
• 9:27
  Speaker 1: If this was the end of the story, I honestly
• 9:29
  Speaker 1: wouldn't have made an update.
• 9:31
  Speaker 4: On Thursday, though, she called me while I was at
• 9:34
  Speaker 4: work and left a voicemail that I couldn't comprehend other
• 9:37
  Speaker 4: than just crying noises. Instead of calling back, I went
• 9:41
  Speaker 4: to the apartment to talk to her. In addition to that,
• 9:44
  Speaker 4: she's taken... talk to her sister and parents and instead
• 9:52
  Speaker 4: of being happy for the kids they're actively guilting her
• 9:56
  Speaker 4: for not doing this sooner. In addition to that she's
• 9:59
  Speaker 4: taken the kids out a few times to try to
• 10:01
  Speaker 4: get to know them again and it's gone less than
• 10:05
  Speaker 4: stellar in her words. Apparently the oldest doesn't seem to
• 10:08
  Speaker 4: like her and refuses to even look at her. The
• 10:11
  Speaker 4: middle child is shy and doesn't really want to interact
• 10:14
  Speaker 4: and the youngest is impossible to deal with because she
• 10:17
  Speaker 4: is constantly crying. She's been over to her parents' house,
• 10:20
  Speaker 4: where her sister also lives. I don't think I mentioned
• 10:23
  Speaker 4: that in the original post. She's been over there every
• 10:26
  Speaker 4: day since we last saw each other. And she tells
• 10:29
  Speaker 4: me that every day she goes over there, she feels
• 10:31
  Speaker 4: worse and worse. She told me that she no longer
• 10:34
  Speaker 4: feels the strong urge to adopt the children like she
• 10:36
  Speaker 4: did before. Since that day, I have semi-moved back into
• 10:41
  Speaker 4: the apartment. I told her that my decision when it
• 10:44
  Speaker 4: comes to the children is unchanged. I don't want any
• 10:47
  Speaker 4: part of that mess despite feeling awful for the kids.
• 10:51
  Speaker 4: She agreed and said she never meant to force me
• 10:54
  Speaker 4: to live my life a certain way. She just feels
• 10:56
  Speaker 4: extremely guilty about the whole situation with them, which is
• 11:00
  Speaker 4: so fair. I mean, based on how her parents are
• 11:03
  Speaker 4: treating her, it's like she's been conditioned to feel responsible
• 11:06
  Speaker 4: for everyone and everything around her forever.
• 11:10
  Speaker 5: Yeah. I mean, I feel guilty too. And I'm not
• 11:13
  Speaker 5: even part of the situation. I feel so bad for
• 11:16
  Speaker 5: those kids. I mean, they have no future. And it's
• 11:21
  Speaker 5: so sad to just have to sit back and watch
• 11:24
  Speaker 5: that happen and do nothing.
• 11:25
  Speaker 4: But maybe that's for the best. They are in an
• 11:28
  Speaker 4: unwinnable situation.
• 11:29
  Speaker 5: Literally, there is no escape from that hole.
• 11:33
  Speaker 4: I talked to her about possibly getting CPS involved. And
• 11:38
  Speaker 4: she said that she didn't want to do that because
• 11:40
  Speaker 4: despite their upbringing... The kids love their mom and grandparents,
• 11:44
  Speaker 4: and she thinks it would do more harm than good.
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: I personally disagree.
• 11:49
  Speaker 4: And I do as well, especially if there's active substance
• 11:52
  Speaker 4: use disorder in the household and they're around, you know,
• 11:57
  Speaker 4: those kind of substances and behaviors. Definitely not good.
• 12:01
  Speaker 5: Like that's of course they love them. That's all they know,
• 12:04
  Speaker 5: you know. Right. they don't know anything else. So once
• 12:07
  Speaker 5: they figure out the real world and how that works
• 12:10
  Speaker 5: and how there are people better than this, they will
• 12:13
  Speaker 5: be grateful for it, you know?
• 12:15
  Speaker 4: Hopefully. Very few times am I like, CPS absolutely needs
• 12:20
  Speaker 4: to be involved because it is true. There are a
• 12:23
  Speaker 4: lot of times where it can do more harm than good.
• 12:25
  Speaker 4: It's definitely not always all good.
• 12:27
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 12:29
  Speaker 4: But they need to not be in that house because
• 12:32
  Speaker 4: it's not going to get better anyway.
• 12:33
  Speaker 5: Exactly.
• 12:33
  Speaker 4: They're going to get worse and worse and worse.
• 12:35
  Speaker 5: For sure. No one's changing.
• 12:36
  Speaker 4: The parents, the grandparents, if they're all in active substance use,
• 12:42
  Speaker 4: it's not going to get better.
• 12:43
  Speaker 5: They're done for. Like, that is it. No one just
• 12:46
  Speaker 5: comes out of that being great and awesome and having
• 12:50
  Speaker 5: a good view on life.
• 12:51
  Speaker 4: That just does not happen. So she thinks CPS would
• 12:54
  Speaker 4: do more harm than good. I personally disagree. But if
• 12:57
  Speaker 4: I wasn't willing to raise them, I feel like I
• 12:59
  Speaker 4: shouldn't push the issue. And that.
• 13:02
  Speaker 1: Is the end of that story.
• 13:04
  Speaker 5: Well, that was depressing. I mean, holy crap. I don't
• 13:08
  Speaker 5: even like God.
• 13:11
  Speaker 4: My heart's with the kids. We wish them well. Get
• 13:14
  Speaker 4: CPS on them, dude.
• 13:15
  Speaker 1: For real.
• 13:16
  Speaker 4: Those kids need to be out. And even if they
• 13:19
  Speaker 4: get separated, they just can't be in that. They can't
• 13:22
  Speaker 4: be there. They cannot be there. But that is the
• 13:25
  Speaker 4: end of that story.
• 13:27
  Speaker 5: My husband lives in luxury while I count every dollar.
• 13:31
  Speaker 5: But he calls me selfish.
• 13:33
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you count all those dollars. They should be his.
• 13:36
  Speaker 5: Hi, all. For reference, I am 29 female and my
• 13:40
  Speaker 5: husband is 30 male. We've been together since I was
• 13:42
  Speaker 5: 20 and got married when I was 26. When we
• 13:46
  Speaker 5: moved in together when I was 25, we were splitting
• 13:48
  Speaker 5: our rent evenly. I was making 65K and he was
• 13:52
  Speaker 5: making 80K. And we live in a large U.S.
• 13:54
  Speaker 6: City.
• 13:55
  Speaker 5: It didn't really make a huge difference in my budget
• 13:58
  Speaker 5: versus his to split rent 50-50 for $ 2, 600 a month rent. However,
• 14:05
  Speaker 5: things have changed. I got pregnant a few months after
• 14:08
  Speaker 5: we got married, which we were so happy about and wanted.
• 14:12
  Speaker 5: I didn't want to not work, but I wanted to
• 14:13
  Speaker 5: be home with our baby, so I found a full-time
• 14:16
  Speaker 5: remote job in my field of work. The downside is
• 14:19
  Speaker 5: I took a cut to my salary from $ 65K to $ 50K.
• 14:22
  Speaker 2: Oof.
• 14:24
  Speaker 5: We continued to split rent in our apartment. My husband,
• 14:27
  Speaker 5: between being 26 and 30, has received a number of
• 14:30
  Speaker 5: raises and has switched his job. He is now a
• 14:33
  Speaker 5: senior business analyst, making roughly $ 195K a year. Since we
• 14:39
  Speaker 5: were having a child, we were going to need a
• 14:41
  Speaker 5: bigger apartment. We found a three-bedroom for $ 4, 000K per month.
• 14:46
  Speaker 5: He still wanted to split rent evenly, despite my protest,
• 14:49
  Speaker 5: and despite me wanting to try to find a smaller
• 14:53
  Speaker 5: apartment for less. In the end, I sort of let
• 14:55
  Speaker 5: myself get walked over because he really is such a
• 14:58
  Speaker 5: smooth talker, and I do love him. By the way,
• 15:01
  Speaker 5: this comes from... What does this mean, though? And if
• 15:04
  Speaker 5: you want to submit your own stories, go to the
• 15:06
  Speaker 5: r slash ok story time subreddit. I'm Savannah.
• 15:08
  Speaker 1: I'm Dakota.
• 15:09
  Speaker 5: And we're here to give some good advice, goofily, but
• 15:11
  Speaker 5: we don't have all your answers. We're only going to
• 15:13
  Speaker 5: tell you what we would do, but let us know
• 15:14
  Speaker 5: what you would do down in the comments. As Opie says... Anyway,
• 15:19
  Speaker 5: flash forward two and a half years, our rent has
• 15:21
  Speaker 5: increased to $ 4, 400. My take-home pay monthly after taxes is
• 15:27
  Speaker 5: roughly $ 3, 600. I am paying $ 2. 2k monthly in rent. I
• 15:33
  Speaker 5: am also taking care of our baby and our home,
• 15:35
  Speaker 5: doing chores, and cooking daily. My husband works from 8
• 15:38
  Speaker 5: to 6, but typically doesn't get home until 7. I
• 15:41
  Speaker 5: am burnt out. I barely have enough money per month
• 15:44
  Speaker 5: to do things I enjoy. I feel like I am
• 15:46
  Speaker 5: financially struggling while my husband is living a life of luxury. Yes,
• 15:50
  Speaker 5: he does take me out on dates and on vacation,
• 15:52
  Speaker 5: but he doesn't seem to understand that this is not
• 15:54
  Speaker 5: enough for me. I spoke to him two days ago
• 15:57
  Speaker 5: very seriously, and when I asked about trying to split
• 16:00
  Speaker 5: rent based on our income and pay an equal percentage
• 16:03
  Speaker 5: of our income so that it is more fair than
• 16:05
  Speaker 5: fully equal, his reaction stunned me. He asked me why
• 16:10
  Speaker 5: having 1.6k extra a month wasn't enough for me. I
• 16:14
  Speaker 5: told him I'm not saving anything. He told me I
• 16:17
  Speaker 5: should spend less on extracurricular activities, which makes me laugh
• 16:20
  Speaker 5: because what extracurricular activities? All I do is work, cook, clean,
• 16:25
  Speaker 5: shop for the house, and raise our child. I told
• 16:27
  Speaker 5: him I am basically working two full jobs at once
• 16:30
  Speaker 5: and I need help. Then he asked me if I
• 16:32
  Speaker 5: am suggesting he pay me for being a mother- And
• 16:35
  Speaker 5: that stunned me. I really had no response to that.
• 16:39
  Speaker 4: This is why it's really important to like discuss financials
• 16:44
  Speaker 4: when you're going to marry somebody.
• 16:46
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 16:47
  Speaker 4: Because like, I don't know, this doesn't seem, it's like equal.
• 16:51
  Speaker 4: It's like, yeah, well, you have to pay that, but
• 16:53
  Speaker 4: it's not fair. It's not equitable.
• 16:55
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 16:56
  Speaker 4: Especially if he's making like almost 200K a year. It's like, well,
• 17:00
  Speaker 4: let's just find the solution that works instead of like, Oh,
• 17:04
  Speaker 4: you want me to pay for you to be a mom?
• 17:06
  Speaker 4: It's like, no, I just want to not feel like
• 17:09
  Speaker 4: I'm drowning trapped in a box.
• 17:13
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 17:13
  Speaker 5: Anyways, he told me that this is the lifestyle we
• 17:16
  Speaker 5: agreed when we moved in together way back when. However,
• 17:20
  Speaker 5: he doesn't seem to understand or rather does not want
• 17:22
  Speaker 5: to understand. Now he's mad with me because he thinks
• 17:26
  Speaker 5: I'm being selfish and has been acting cold to me
• 17:28
  Speaker 5: these past few days. I'm getting the itch to apologize
• 17:31
  Speaker 5: and take it back like I always do, but I
• 17:33
  Speaker 5: really feel I am right here. Am I the a-hole? Uh, no.
• 17:38
  Speaker 5: For just wanting, you know, support from your husband who makes, like,
• 17:43
  Speaker 5: over two times you do? I don't believe that... Like,
• 17:48
  Speaker 5: I just don't think that that is a bad thing
• 17:50
  Speaker 5: to ask.
• 17:51
  Speaker 4: Yeah, it's like... I think there does need to be,
• 17:55
  Speaker 4: there could be better communication on both sides. Cause I
• 17:58
  Speaker 4: think the way that you said he's living a life
• 18:00
  Speaker 4: of luxury, it's like, well, he's working 10 hours a
• 18:02
  Speaker 4: day as well. And not that you're not working harder, uh,
• 18:05
  Speaker 4: while also taking care of the house and raising the kids.
• 18:08
  Speaker 4: But it's like just getting to a place where you
• 18:10
  Speaker 4: guys can return to like, Hey, we got married. So
• 18:14
  Speaker 4: we're like a team. So why does it feel like
• 18:17
  Speaker 4: we're not a team in this way? Right. We got
• 18:21
  Speaker 4: to be on the same team. It's like he's acting
• 18:24
  Speaker 4: like you're already divorced and he's giving you like, you know,
• 18:28
  Speaker 4: alimony payments or child support. And it's like, no, no, no, no.
• 18:32
  Speaker 4: We live together. We have our lives together. We are
• 18:36
  Speaker 4: a unit.
• 18:37
  Speaker 5: We're a unit.
• 18:38
  Speaker 1: Come on. It's not like you're asking for unlimited fund money.
• 18:41
  Speaker 4: It's just like, just so I feel like I'm not
• 18:45
  Speaker 4: barely able to.
• 18:46
  Speaker 1: And I mean, to be honest, having, you know, $ 1, 600
• 18:49
  Speaker 1: every month to.
• 18:53
  Speaker 4: To put away or I don't know what are you
• 18:55
  Speaker 4: are you spending that on other bills or because that's
• 18:58
  Speaker 4: that's it that you can save a good amount of
• 19:00
  Speaker 4: money making that each month like anyway there's an edit.
• 19:05
  Speaker 5: Thank you all for all the responses I can honestly
• 19:08
  Speaker 5: say I did not expect to get this feedback I'm
• 19:10
  Speaker 5: honestly overwhelmed and cannot reply to all of you especially
• 19:13
  Speaker 5: when I am working but I wanted to update some
• 19:16
  Speaker 5: things here I love my husband with all my heart
• 19:19
  Speaker 5: and it is heartbreaking for me to read these comments
• 19:21
  Speaker 5: and realize that I am being taken advantage of. I
• 19:24
  Speaker 5: need to figure out the best way to approach this
• 19:25
  Speaker 5: issue and solve it before it gets too far. I
• 19:28
  Speaker 5: want to work this out and the fear of being
• 19:30
  Speaker 5: alone is haunting me. Yes, I did sign a prenup
• 19:33
  Speaker 5: that was overseen by his family attorney. My husband comes
• 19:37
  Speaker 5: from extreme wealth and I was young and stupid and
• 19:40
  Speaker 5: went with it.
• 19:41
  Speaker 4: Oh, that's that's tracking now. He was like, oh, so
• 19:46
  Speaker 4: you did just marry me for my money, huh?
• 19:49
  Speaker 1: Which, I mean, on some.
• 19:51
  Speaker 4: Level is also fair if he grew up like that.
• 19:55
  Speaker 4: It would make sense that he's so hyper fixated on
• 19:58
  Speaker 4: that because he's probably been told his entire life, like,
• 20:01
  Speaker 4: watch out for people taking advantage of you for your money.
• 20:05
  Speaker 5: Head over heels like my mother always said I was.
• 20:09
  Speaker 5: As for his family, we get along great and they
• 20:11
  Speaker 5: love me. It's very confusing because they are such incredibly
• 20:14
  Speaker 5: generous people and they are family. But they don't know
• 20:18
  Speaker 5: about our financial situation because my husband and I believe
• 20:20
  Speaker 5: that our marriage is private. And I would feel like
• 20:23
  Speaker 5: I was betraying him by telling them. I'm sorry I
• 20:26
  Speaker 5: cannot reply to all of you, but please know I
• 20:28
  Speaker 5: am reading all of the comments and making a plan
• 20:30
  Speaker 5: of approach with them. Edit number two. For those talking
• 20:33
  Speaker 5: about the dates and vacations bit that he pays for,
• 20:36
  Speaker 5: I have asked him numerous times to help lighten my
• 20:39
  Speaker 5: financial load instead of going on these trips and dates,
• 20:42
  Speaker 5: and he has refused. He said he can do what
• 20:44
  Speaker 5: he wants with his money, and if he wants to
• 20:46
  Speaker 5: take us on vacation, that is what he will pay for.
• 20:49
  Speaker 5: If I could afford vacation, I would pay. In fact,
• 20:53
  Speaker 5: when we're in a more even financial situation, unmarried, no kids...
• 20:58
  Speaker 5: I paid for almost all of our vacations and dates
• 21:00
  Speaker 5: because I love to treat people and I can't do
• 21:03
  Speaker 5: that anymore. Edit number three. I also do not have
• 21:07
  Speaker 5: bad spending habits. I worked my way out of my
• 21:10
  Speaker 5: student loan debt in two years after graduating. Dang, girl.
• 21:13
  Speaker 5: Good for you. I saved 60K by the time we
• 21:16
  Speaker 5: got married and I have that all in my retirement,
• 21:19
  Speaker 5: which I am thankful for because I can no longer
• 21:22
  Speaker 5: contribute to it. This has nothing to do with how
• 21:25
  Speaker 5: I spend. I'm actually pretty frugal when it comes to shopping,
• 21:28
  Speaker 5: especially since I prefer to keep things cheap for my budget.
• 21:31
  Speaker 5: And there's an update. Let's just get into it. Oh,
• 21:35
  Speaker 5: almost three years later.
• 21:36
  Speaker 4: Oh, boy.
• 21:37
  Speaker 1: A lot can change in three years.
• 21:41
  Speaker 5: Things were not good with me and my husband at
• 21:44
  Speaker 5: the time of this post. I want to preface this
• 21:47
  Speaker 5: by saying we are still together to this day, and
• 21:49
  Speaker 5: we've welcomed our new child to the world. This time
• 21:52
  Speaker 5: in a much healthier environment.
• 21:54
  Speaker 1: Good.
• 21:54
  Speaker 4: Oh my god.
• 21:55
  Speaker 1: Yay. I think they just got clear.
• 21:57
  Speaker 4: I think they communicated.
• 21:58
  Speaker 1: Oh my god.
• 22:00
  Speaker 5: The vid changed a lot for me along with the
• 22:02
  Speaker 5: intense virality of the last post. Neither my husband or
• 22:06
  Speaker 5: I got laid off or furloughed. And we were and
• 22:09
  Speaker 5: we are so thankful. But my husband moved to work
• 22:12
  Speaker 5: from home. That perspective shift changed a lot for him
• 22:14
  Speaker 5: when he saw what I had to deal with day
• 22:16
  Speaker 5: to day. Things I could never properly communicate about how
• 22:19
  Speaker 5: difficult it is to work while raising a child and
• 22:22
  Speaker 5: what I brought to the table that he could never see.
• 22:25
  Speaker 5: Despite his newfound appreciation for me, I still found myself
• 22:28
  Speaker 5: resenting him. It was in June that I finally proposed
• 22:31
  Speaker 5: that we go to couples counseling, after doing my own
• 22:34
  Speaker 5: virtual therapy session since March, from which I learned about
• 22:37
  Speaker 5: why I let people step over me based on my
• 22:39
  Speaker 5: childhood and past and how to overcome that. To my surprise...
• 22:43
  Speaker 5: My husband agreed, and so we've been in weekly counseling since,
• 22:48
  Speaker 5: even to this day. It helped him get to the
• 22:50
  Speaker 5: root of his fears and address why he has trouble
• 22:53
  Speaker 5: trusting me financially, which had less to do with me
• 22:56
  Speaker 5: and more to do with what he was brought up
• 22:59
  Speaker 5: believing and had been instilled with. After coming to the
• 23:02
  Speaker 5: point of telling him I wouldn't want to continue building
• 23:05
  Speaker 5: a family or a life with him where he watched
• 23:07
  Speaker 5: me struggle from luxury with the help of our amazing
• 23:10
  Speaker 5: counselor who guided us, My husband was willing to adjust
• 23:13
  Speaker 5: our lifestyle to be more equal. I mean, great. I'm
• 23:18
  Speaker 5: glad this is working out. I was worried there for
• 23:20
  Speaker 5: a second, but now it's working.
• 23:23
  Speaker 4: Yeah. I mean, clear communication can save the day more
• 23:30
  Speaker 4: often than not.
• 23:31
  Speaker 5: Something good came out of the vid this time. It's great.
• 23:34
  Speaker 4: You guys learned how to use your words with each other.
• 23:37
  Speaker 5: I'm not saying everything was or is magically perfect. I
• 23:40
  Speaker 5: know people wanted an update where I left my evil
• 23:43
  Speaker 5: husband and took my baby to start a new life.
• 23:46
  Speaker 5: But I did marry this man for a reason. I
• 23:48
  Speaker 5: saw the good. And past the struggle we've had to overcome,
• 23:52
  Speaker 5: he's become the man I knew I'd marry. We now
• 23:55
  Speaker 5: have a joint bank account as well as our own
• 23:58
  Speaker 5: on the side. We each put two-thirds of our income
• 24:01
  Speaker 5: into the shared account and get to keep one-third for ourselves.
• 24:05
  Speaker 5: I am in a new job now and making much
• 24:08
  Speaker 5: more money than the original post.
• 24:09
  Speaker 4: Not that this.
• 24:10
  Speaker 5: Affects the relationship, but so people know my one-third is
• 24:13
  Speaker 5: enough for me to enjoy. It's still a road to recovery,
• 24:16
  Speaker 5: but we have more trust between us and are no
• 24:19
  Speaker 5: longer living a 50-50 lifestyle. That is it. Well, good
• 24:24
  Speaker 5: for you, girl. I'm glad that, you know, I'm glad
• 24:27
  Speaker 5: he was open to the counseling and everything, and I
• 24:29
  Speaker 5: think it really... helped you guys grow as a couple
• 24:32
  Speaker 5: and communicate better. And also now you have this child
• 24:35
  Speaker 5: to worry about together too. So I think this was
• 24:38
  Speaker 5: a happy ending overall. And you're still working on it,
• 24:40
  Speaker 5: which is great. You didn't just stop because things got better.
• 24:44
  Speaker 5: You're still continuing to grow and work together and educate yourselves.
• 24:50
  Speaker 4: It always takes work, right?
• 24:53
  Speaker 5: Right. But that's the end of that story. And we
• 24:56
  Speaker 5: got another one coming right up.
• 24:58
  Speaker 4: My friend showed me spicy photos of my husband and
• 25:02
  Speaker 4: I'd never seen them.
• 25:03
  Speaker 5: Well, why she have them?
• 25:06
  Speaker 4: So as you could guess, I'm not exactly a veteran
• 25:08
  Speaker 4: user of this app. I did not even have an
• 25:10
  Speaker 4: account and just checked it for news from time to time.
• 25:13
  Speaker 4: My friend uses it very frequently and both told and
• 25:17
  Speaker 4: showed me that there are some not safe for work
• 25:19
  Speaker 4: pages and all that. But I didn't care until recently.
• 25:24
  Speaker 4: It so happens sometimes that the world is a very
• 25:27
  Speaker 4: small place. especially to be doing stupid crap. This past week,
• 25:32
  Speaker 4: my friend suddenly came running to my office at work
• 25:36
  Speaker 4: and showed me a unclothed photo of my husband that
• 25:41
  Speaker 4: I have never seen before. I went to what the
• 25:45
  Speaker 4: F is going on right away, to which she promptly
• 25:48
  Speaker 4: showed me the whole post and then the whole profile.
• 25:52
  Speaker 4: with a bunch of other photos that I have also
• 25:55
  Speaker 4: never seen before. The comments made it even better. Him
• 25:59
  Speaker 4: saying he's single for eternity, and getting bored of the
• 26:03
  Speaker 4: lack of spicy sleep, among other things. And by the way,
• 26:07
  Speaker 4: this comes from user CodOfMischief. If you want to submit
• 26:09
  Speaker 4: your own stories, go to the r slash OKStoryTime subreddit.
• 26:13
  Speaker 4: I'm Dakota.
• 26:13
  Speaker 5: And I'm Savannah.
• 26:14
  Speaker 1: And we are here to.
• 26:15
  Speaker 4: Read this story to you and give our good advice goofily,
• 26:18
  Speaker 4: but we don't always know.
• 26:20
  Speaker 5: We think.
• 26:22
  Speaker 4: So let us know what you think in the comments.
• 26:24
  Speaker 4: And OP says, We have never had any issues. No cheating,
• 26:28
  Speaker 4: no trust issues. And I didn't even know he used Reddit.
• 26:32
  Speaker 4: I haven't confronted him about it yet. My plan was
• 26:35
  Speaker 4: to connect with him on here so he would know
• 26:37
  Speaker 4: I know or even do it secretly to see what
• 26:40
  Speaker 4: he actually does or why he would do this. And
• 26:44
  Speaker 4: there is an update.
• 26:45
  Speaker 1: Girl, don't be secret. Just confront your husband.
• 26:47
  Speaker 5: This literally just happened to my friend. Crazy.
• 26:50
  Speaker 1: What did they do?
• 26:51
  Speaker 5: Ignored it.
• 26:52
  Speaker 2: Wow.
• 26:53
  Speaker 4: Well, don't do that.
• 26:54
  Speaker 5: It's her first relationship, and, you know, she'll learn. She'll learn.
• 26:59
  Speaker 5: She knows that it's not right. She'll learn.
• 27:01
  Speaker 4: She'll get there.
• 27:03
  Speaker 1: Update.
• 27:05
  Speaker 4: I reached out to him first from this account, but
• 27:08
  Speaker 4: since a lot of you advised me to, I deleted
• 27:10
  Speaker 4: the message before he could read it, blocked him on
• 27:12
  Speaker 4: this account, and created another one to message him again.
• 27:16
  Speaker 4: He went out with his friends today, and about an
• 27:18
  Speaker 4: hour after he left, he responded to me. I tried
• 27:22
  Speaker 4: acting somewhat like the comments I read under some of
• 27:25
  Speaker 4: his posts would suggest me to, and we communicated for
• 27:29
  Speaker 4: a few hours before he told me that he'll tend
• 27:31
  Speaker 4: to his friends not to be too antisocial on the
• 27:35
  Speaker 4: phone around them. During the convo, he straight up sent
• 27:38
  Speaker 4: me a pic of his face in the DMs and
• 27:40
  Speaker 4: wanted to see mine, so I told him I'd rather
• 27:43
  Speaker 4: keep a bit anonymous and that I can send him
• 27:45
  Speaker 4: something else, to which he agreed immediately.
• 27:48
  Speaker 1: Very happily.
• 27:49
  Speaker 4: Okay, so this guy is clearly, this is cheating now.
• 27:53
  Speaker 4: This is full-blown cheating.
• 27:54
  Speaker 5: Yep.
• 27:55
  Speaker 4: Not just some kind of like side project, you know?
• 27:59
  Speaker 5: No, no, this is complete. He's doing it out of
• 28:02
  Speaker 5: probably boredom.
• 28:04
  Speaker 4: Yeah. I scoured the internet for some spicy pics of
• 28:07
  Speaker 4: other women and sent him a random pic of a
• 28:10
  Speaker 4: girl's butt in pantaloons.
• 28:13
  Speaker 1: In her cottons, in her panties, in her cottons.
• 28:16
  Speaker 4: In a few moments, I got a pic of his
• 28:20
  Speaker 4: member from the restrooms with some creepy sweet talk. I
• 28:24
  Speaker 4: complimented him back and asked if he ever met or
• 28:27
  Speaker 4: wanted to meet someone from Reddit, to which he went
• 28:29
  Speaker 4: silent and then replied that he's going to go off
• 28:32
  Speaker 4: for the moment.
• 28:33
  Speaker 1: As mentioned, this.
• 28:35
  Speaker 4: Leaves me exactly nowhere or in the same place as yesterday,
• 28:38
  Speaker 4: which not really. I mean, it very clearly tells you
• 28:41
  Speaker 4: exactly what his intentions are. or what he would do.
• 28:44
  Speaker 4: He's sending explicit messages to other women on Reddit. That's,
• 28:49
  Speaker 4: you've gained information.
• 28:51
  Speaker 5: Yeah, that is cheating in my book.
• 28:54
  Speaker 4: If he replies with a yes to meet up, it's
• 28:56
  Speaker 4: a done deal, and I'm coming clean with him. I
• 28:59
  Speaker 4: would also like to thank everyone that commented or reached
• 29:01
  Speaker 4: out directly with advice, or just some words of either
• 29:04
  Speaker 4: hope or hate towards him. You kept me company through
• 29:07
  Speaker 4: the sleepless nights, and I'll keep you posted, and we
• 29:10
  Speaker 4: have another update. But again, girl, you You've got enough
• 29:14
  Speaker 4: to justify leaving.
• 29:16
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I don't know why you're, like, entertaining this now.
• 29:19
  Speaker 5: I think you can just be like, oh, hey, by
• 29:21
  Speaker 5: the way, show the messages. I'm that girl, and we're done. Yeah.
• 29:26
  Speaker 4: And there's just, you know, there's stages, right? You're a
• 29:30
  Speaker 4: bit in the denial stage. But you'll get there.
• 29:34
  Speaker 1: So, update two.
• 29:35
  Speaker 4: He responded to my question about whether he ever met
• 29:39
  Speaker 4: someone from Reddit. or if he would like to with
• 29:41
  Speaker 4: a no to meeting anyone before but with a yes
• 29:45
  Speaker 4: to it being possible i'm half glad that he maybe
• 29:49
  Speaker 4: hasn't cheated on me but also disgusted by the fact
• 29:52
  Speaker 4: that he clearly would or i don't know no you
• 29:55
  Speaker 4: know he would It's probably time to stop playing games
• 29:58
  Speaker 4: and to face the issue head on. I just don't
• 30:01
  Speaker 4: know if I can. I feel torn apart, angry, but
• 30:05
  Speaker 4: reluctant to act. Disgusted, but ultimately passive. And there's a
• 30:09
  Speaker 4: third update.
• 30:10
  Speaker 1: Girl, do it.
• 30:11
  Speaker 4: It's going to be hard and uncomfortable and it's going
• 30:13
  Speaker 4: to suck, but just do it.
• 30:14
  Speaker 5: Yeah, wake up. Because guess what? If you do nothing
• 30:17
  Speaker 5: about it, it's just going to continue to happen. And
• 30:19
  Speaker 5: if you call him out, but don't leave him, It's
• 30:23
  Speaker 5: going to continue to happen.
• 30:24
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 30:24
  Speaker 5: The only thing you can do in this situation to
• 30:27
  Speaker 5: help yourself and maybe even help him is to leave.
• 30:31
  Speaker 5: Get out of that. Why would you want to be
• 30:33
  Speaker 5: in that? Don't waste your time.
• 30:35
  Speaker 1: GTFO.
• 30:37
  Speaker 4: Update three. Hello, everyone. It's me again.
• 30:40
  Speaker 1: My situation has, let's say, calmed down.
• 30:44
  Speaker 4: Not really, but my husband left and hasn't tried communicating
• 30:48
  Speaker 4: with me yet.
• 30:48
  Speaker 1: Neither did I try to reach out.
• 30:51
  Speaker 4: I've been coping pretty well, half so probably thanks to
• 30:54
  Speaker 4: you people who reached out and accommodated your time with
• 30:58
  Speaker 4: a conversation with me. What you might not know is
• 31:01
  Speaker 4: that I am professionally retired at my 29 years of age.
• 31:05
  Speaker 4: I've got a considerable amount of generational wealth after my parents, grandparents,
• 31:10
  Speaker 4: and from my old business, which will definitely last me
• 31:15
  Speaker 4: for a lifetime or two. That being said, it's kind
• 31:17
  Speaker 4: of a bummer being unemployed and spending all your time
• 31:20
  Speaker 4: home or out and about, so I joined that friend
• 31:23
  Speaker 4: as a part-time help at a consulting company where she worked.
• 31:27
  Speaker 4: I've been there for about a year, put up my
• 31:29
  Speaker 4: notice today after all that happened. The boss directly offered
• 31:33
  Speaker 4: to let me go right away, and so I am
• 31:36
  Speaker 4: free again. I'm glad that it's over. You know, just
• 31:40
  Speaker 4: side note, one thing I will not ever understand is
• 31:43
  Speaker 4: having generational wealth and not knowing how to just chill. Like,
• 31:48
  Speaker 4: so it's pretty sad not having a job and just
• 31:51
  Speaker 4: being able to do whatever I want.
• 31:53
  Speaker 1: So I got a part-time job. It's like, why?
• 31:56
  Speaker 5: Yeah, if I never had a work, you will never
• 31:59
  Speaker 5: see me working. I would be painting. I would be going.
• 32:03
  Speaker 5: I would travel.
• 32:04
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 32:04
  Speaker 5: I would have my friends travel with me. I mean,
• 32:08
  Speaker 5: I would be like, I've been doing everything that I've
• 32:10
  Speaker 5: been wanting to do.
• 32:11
  Speaker 1: Your job is just to go outside.
• 32:13
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 32:14
  Speaker 5: Touch grass.
• 32:14
  Speaker 4: Go outside and be wherever you want. While leaving, I
• 32:20
  Speaker 4: was hesitant about bringing up our romantic situation because I
• 32:24
  Speaker 4: didn't think that anyone would care. But the boss started
• 32:26
  Speaker 4: asking and consoling me, and I decided to bring it up.
• 32:30
  Speaker 4: Judging by her reaction, the situation probably resonated with her
• 32:34
  Speaker 4: for reasons fully unknown to me. She didn't mention that
• 32:38
  Speaker 4: she would act anyhow at that time. Our mutual friend
• 32:42
  Speaker 4: called me this evening to tell me what a horrible
• 32:44
  Speaker 4: person I am and that she got her two month
• 32:47
  Speaker 4: notice handed to her. I didn't forget to start bringing
• 32:50
  Speaker 4: up some hurtful things, but I dropped the call when
• 32:54
  Speaker 4: she started doing that. Safe to say this is the
• 32:56
  Speaker 4: first thing I'm getting off my chest with a smile
• 32:59
  Speaker 4: on my face. Karma exists and it's paid in full. Wait,
• 33:03
  Speaker 4: so was that the friend that showed you your husband's posts?
• 33:07
  Speaker 4: Hold on, I'm going to.
• 33:08
  Speaker 5: Wait, that would make sense, because it's like showing her
• 33:12
  Speaker 5: in a workplace or something, and then the friend was like, what? Like,
• 33:16
  Speaker 5: you're a horrible person.
• 33:17
  Speaker 4: Well, yeah, why your friend didn't need to get fired?
• 33:20
  Speaker 4: What's going on? I'm going to go look at comments
• 33:23
  Speaker 4: really quick, just to make sure we didn't miss anything crucial.
• 33:26
  Speaker 1: Okay, so that was confusing.
• 33:27
  Speaker 4: I just looked at the comments, and it turned out
• 33:31
  Speaker 4: that her friend that got her the job and showed
• 33:33
  Speaker 4: her the pictures of her husband... was cheating with her
• 33:37
  Speaker 4: husband and she was showing her the pictures to get
• 33:42
  Speaker 4: back at him for stopping the affair.
• 33:45
  Speaker 7: Oh yes wow okay so there's layers yes and then
• 33:51
  Speaker 7: she got fired for showing those pictures at work because
• 33:56
  Speaker 7: you couldn't fire her just for having an affair with
• 34:00
  Speaker 7: her husband but you can fire for like hey you're showing.
• 34:02
  Speaker 4: Us this explicit stuff at work yeah so Mystery solved. Dang.
• 34:07
  Speaker 1: But that is the end of that story.
• 34:09
  Speaker 3: Hey, this is Riley, the new Californian here. We're going
• 34:12
  Speaker 3: to get back to these stories, but here's three minutes
• 34:14
  Speaker 3: of ads from our sponsors.
• 34:16
  Speaker 5: My wife is hiding her phone from me after 25
• 34:19
  Speaker 5: years of marriage.
• 34:21
  Speaker 1: Well, that's a bad time to start.
• 34:23
  Speaker 5: My wife, 46 female, and I, 46 male, have been
• 34:27
  Speaker 5: married for 25 years. We have three amazing kids who
• 34:31
  Speaker 5: are all grown and out of the house now. So
• 34:34
  Speaker 5: it's just the two of us. The problem is, it
• 34:37
  Speaker 5: doesn't really feel like we're a couple anymore. I still
• 34:40
  Speaker 5: love this woman with everything I have. If anything, I
• 34:43
  Speaker 5: feel like I've been trying harder over the last few
• 34:45
  Speaker 5: years because I don't want us to drift apart. Financially,
• 34:49
  Speaker 5: we've built a very comfortable life together. I'm fortunate enough
• 34:52
  Speaker 5: to earn well into the six figures most years, and
• 34:56
  Speaker 5: in really good years, I've crossed into seven figures.
• 34:59
  Speaker 4: Oh.
• 35:00
  Speaker 1: Wow.
• 35:02
  Speaker 5: We got a heavy hitter over here.
• 35:04
  Speaker 1: Moneybag City.
• 35:07
  Speaker 5: I'm not saying that to brag or imply money equals love,
• 35:10
  Speaker 5: because it absolutely doesn't. I only mention it because I
• 35:13
  Speaker 5: work hard to make sure she never has to worry
• 35:16
  Speaker 5: about money. If she wants to take a trip with friends,
• 35:18
  Speaker 5: she goes. If she wants to buy something, she buys it.
• 35:22
  Speaker 5: I genuinely enjoy giving her the life she's always wanted. Honestly,
• 35:26
  Speaker 5: I don't ask for much in return. I just want
• 35:29
  Speaker 5: to feel like she still loves me. By the way,
• 35:32
  Speaker 5: this comes from RevealSafe4293, and if you want to submit
• 35:36
  Speaker 5: your own stories, go to the r slash okay story
• 35:38
  Speaker 5: time subreddit where this was submitted. I'm Savannah.
• 35:42
  Speaker 4: I'm Dakota.
• 35:43
  Speaker 5: And we are here to give some good advice, Goofly,
• 35:46
  Speaker 5: but we don't have all your answers. We don't tell
• 35:47
  Speaker 5: you what we would do, but let us know what
• 35:48
  Speaker 5: you would do down in the comments. As OP says,
• 35:53
  Speaker 5: over the last couple of years, affection has almost completely disappeared.
• 35:57
  Speaker 5: We barely hug, we barely kiss, and our spicy sleep
• 36:01
  Speaker 5: life has become almost non-existent. In all of 2025, we
• 36:05
  Speaker 5: had spicy sleep twice. Ooh, that's horrible. I would hate that.
• 36:12
  Speaker 5: We just celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary, and to me,
• 36:15
  Speaker 5: it was a huge milestone. To her, it felt like
• 36:19
  Speaker 5: just another Tuesday. No affection, no intimacy, no real excitement.
• 36:24
  Speaker 5: That hurt more than I can explain. Dang, she's out
• 36:27
  Speaker 5: of it. Sorry to say, but she's done.
• 36:31
  Speaker 4: I think when you can sense someone's so checked out.
• 36:35
  Speaker 4: People who have been married for a long time, which
• 36:39
  Speaker 4: 25 years is a long time, they talk about there's
• 36:43
  Speaker 4: moments where you're synced up and then there's moments where
• 36:46
  Speaker 4: you guys will drift apart and you guys come back
• 36:49
  Speaker 4: to that center. I feel like when you really feel
• 36:53
  Speaker 4: so clearly that they're off... you just got to put
• 36:57
  Speaker 4: it out in the open and it's uncomfortable for sure.
• 37:01
  Speaker 4: It's confronting something like that is always uncomfortable, but you
• 37:04
  Speaker 4: just got to let her know like, Hey, like I can,
• 37:06
  Speaker 4: I really feel like maybe you're kind of checked out
• 37:10
  Speaker 4: of our marriage, of our relationship.
• 37:13
  Speaker 5: Yeah. If there's love still there, you will find a
• 37:16
  Speaker 5: way to make it work. If the love has been
• 37:19
  Speaker 5: dissipated or whatever, then, you know, you go from there.
• 37:24
  Speaker 5: The thing that's really eating at me though is her phone.
• 37:28
  Speaker 5: She's constantly texting someone. She keeps the screen turned away
• 37:32
  Speaker 5: from me, takes it everywhere, and if I walk into
• 37:34
  Speaker 5: the room, she'll sometimes stop whatever she's doing. I don't
• 37:37
  Speaker 5: know who she's talking to. I have absolutely no proof
• 37:41
  Speaker 5: if it's another man, but she clearly doesn't want me
• 37:43
  Speaker 5: to know who it is.
• 37:44
  Speaker 4: Well, I don't think it's her parents.
• 37:47
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 37:47
  Speaker 4: Yeah, that's... Well, it also makes a lot of sense
• 37:50
  Speaker 4: why you'd be hesitant to bring this up because that
• 37:52
  Speaker 4: is a very huge can of worms. And it's so obvious.
• 37:56
  Speaker 4: I don't even know why people do it. If you
• 37:59
  Speaker 4: start acting that way with your phone, there's only two
• 38:02
  Speaker 4: things it could be.
• 38:03
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 38:04
  Speaker 1: And one of them is you're cheating on me.
• 38:06
  Speaker 5: And the other one is.
• 38:08
  Speaker 1: Surprise birthday party.
• 38:10
  Speaker 5: Then there have been a few moments that have really
• 38:13
  Speaker 5: messed with my head. I've come home unexpectedly several times.
• 38:17
  Speaker 5: On a couple of occasions, she came out of our
• 38:19
  Speaker 5: bedroom looking disheveled, then immediately became unusually affectionate towards me,
• 38:24
  Speaker 5: almost like she was trying to distract me. Another couple
• 38:27
  Speaker 5: of times, after she'd stepped into the kitchen or laundry room,
• 38:30
  Speaker 5: I walked into our bedroom and found a vibrator under
• 38:33
  Speaker 5: her pillow. Maybe there's a perfectly innocent explanation... And honestly,
• 38:38
  Speaker 5: I wouldn't judge her for that, but my mind keeps
• 38:41
  Speaker 5: filling in the blanks because our intimacy is basically non-existent
• 38:44
  Speaker 5: and she's so secretive with her phone. I can't shake
• 38:47
  Speaker 5: this awful feeling in the pit of my stomach that
• 38:49
  Speaker 5: there's someone else. Maybe it's emotional. Maybe it's online. Maybe
• 38:55
  Speaker 5: it's nothing at all. I also know that gut feelings
• 38:59
  Speaker 5: aren't evidence. They're not evidence per se, but... They can
• 39:05
  Speaker 5: help you find evidence.
• 39:06
  Speaker 4: I think, like, behavior used in context can be used
• 39:11
  Speaker 4: as evidence in court.
• 39:12
  Speaker 1: So, you've got evidence.
• 39:14
  Speaker 5: Yeah. There's... Yeah. I've never gone through her phone. I've
• 39:19
  Speaker 5: never hired a PI. I've never confronted her because I
• 39:22
  Speaker 5: don't want to accuse my wife of cheating if I'm
• 39:24
  Speaker 5: completely wrong. At the same time, I don't know how
• 39:26
  Speaker 5: much longer I can keep pretending everything is fine while
• 39:29
  Speaker 5: feeling this disconnected and suspicious. So I'm asking strangers because
• 39:33
  Speaker 5: I honestly don't know what the right move is. Do
• 39:36
  Speaker 5: I tell her exactly how I'm feeling and risk sounding paranoid?
• 39:40
  Speaker 5: Do I ask directly if there's someone else? Do I
• 39:42
  Speaker 5: suggest marriage counseling before making any accusations? Or am I
• 39:47
  Speaker 5: reading too much into a marriage that's simply grown distance
• 39:49
  Speaker 5: after 25 years? I'd really appreciate advice from people who've
• 39:53
  Speaker 5: either been in my shoes or can give me an
• 39:55
  Speaker 5: outside perspective. There's an update. Yeah, I mean, truthfully, all
• 40:01
  Speaker 5: the signs point to she's cheating. Like, I don't know
• 40:05
  Speaker 5: what else it could possibly be. And the fact that
• 40:07
  Speaker 5: she's not showing intimacy towards you and just going and
• 40:10
  Speaker 5: doing it quietly. Yeah.
• 40:12
  Speaker 4: I mean, there is something going on there. We have
• 40:14
  Speaker 4: read stories where it's like people will do this with
• 40:16
  Speaker 4: their phone and then it turns out to just be
• 40:18
  Speaker 4: like an embarrassing game or something.
• 40:20
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 40:21
  Speaker 4: And like, I think what you need to do is
• 40:25
  Speaker 4: steal yourself for the possibility that she is cheating, but
• 40:31
  Speaker 4: don't approach it from that angle and instead approach it
• 40:34
  Speaker 4: from like a place of like, hey, like, how do
• 40:36
  Speaker 4: you feel about us? Like, don't make it a you
• 40:39
  Speaker 4: versus her thing.
• 40:41
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 40:41
  Speaker 4: Make it like a how are we doing, right?
• 40:44
  Speaker 5: I would say approach it with more curiosity rather than judgment.
• 40:49
  Speaker 5: Being like, hey, I've noticed you've been on your phone
• 40:51
  Speaker 5: a lot. You know, what are you doing?
• 40:53
  Speaker 4: But, like, you know, clearly it's been years. Yeah. That
• 40:56
  Speaker 4: the relationship has been deteriorating. And, like, when you don't
• 41:00
  Speaker 4: talk about this stuff for that long, like, it really
• 41:02
  Speaker 4: builds up a debt of, like, discomfort.
• 41:05
  Speaker 6: But.
• 41:06
  Speaker 4: You're not in the wrong for just telling your wife
• 41:11
  Speaker 4: what you're thinking and how you're feeling. Yeah.
• 41:14
  Speaker 5: Update. So we had a talk last night. Things are
• 41:17
  Speaker 5: way more clear now and we are okay. More than okay, honestly. Oh,
• 41:21
  Speaker 5: there we go.
• 41:22
  Speaker 1: Okay, that's hopeful.
• 41:24
  Speaker 5: Phone issue. I walked in and as most nights she's
• 41:28
  Speaker 5: on her phone typing away, I sat down in the
• 41:30
  Speaker 5: study next to her and asked if I can see
• 41:32
  Speaker 5: what she's doing on her phone. Without hesitation, she hands
• 41:35
  Speaker 5: it to me. She's writing. That's the phone time issue.
• 41:40
  Speaker 5: She shows me her notes app and she has note
• 41:43
  Speaker 5: after note of stories she has been writing. She says
• 41:46
  Speaker 5: it helps her get her feelings out and that it's
• 41:48
  Speaker 5: a creative outlet for her since she is home alone
• 41:51
  Speaker 5: most days. I explained to her how things have looked
• 41:53
  Speaker 5: from my point of view over the last 18 months
• 41:56
  Speaker 5: or so and how I felt and she instantly started
• 41:59
  Speaker 5: crying because I felt alone. I felt she had checked
• 42:02
  Speaker 5: out and I thought we were in trouble. She reassured
• 42:05
  Speaker 5: me that she's never once thought about leaving me and
• 42:07
  Speaker 5: that I couldn't be a better husband or partner and
• 42:10
  Speaker 5: she can't imagine a life without me. And before the
• 42:12
  Speaker 5: negative people chime in, yes, she showed me everything on
• 42:16
  Speaker 5: her phone and there were no signs of anything that
• 42:19
  Speaker 5: could be considered cheating.
• 42:20
  Speaker 1: Oh my God.
• 42:21
  Speaker 4: So she literally, what she was writing in her phone
• 42:24
  Speaker 4: was the exact thing you guys needed to be doing,
• 42:27
  Speaker 4: which was getting your feelings out in the open and
• 42:31
  Speaker 4: But she's just processing her feelings, writing stories.
• 42:35
  Speaker 1: Oh, what a relief.
• 42:38
  Speaker 5: I thought it was going to go sideways there for
• 42:39
  Speaker 5: a second. On to the lack of intimacy. She says
• 42:43
  Speaker 5: for the last few years, she's felt so unattractive that
• 42:47
  Speaker 5: she doesn't feel spicy anymore and doesn't have much of
• 42:51
  Speaker 5: a spicy sleep drive. I asked her about the vibrator
• 42:54
  Speaker 5: and she was trying to get her libido back and
• 42:56
  Speaker 5: thought it might help. We ended up having mind-blowing intimacy
• 43:00
  Speaker 5: after our talk. How nice.
• 43:04
  Speaker 4: I don't think I've heard it phrased that way.
• 43:06
  Speaker 5: Mind-blowing intimacy.
• 43:09
  Speaker 1: Intimacy to blow your mind.
• 43:11
  Speaker 5: Maximum overdrive intimacy. She will be making an appointment with
• 43:18
  Speaker 5: her primary care physician to discuss what she is going through.
• 43:21
  Speaker 5: I'm glad it wasn't cheating. Yes. But For a second there,
• 43:27
  Speaker 5: all signs did point to that.
• 43:29
  Speaker 4: Yes.
• 43:29
  Speaker 5: So I'm glad it turned out everything's okay and you
• 43:32
  Speaker 5: guys just don't really communicate that well. Yeah.
• 43:35
  Speaker 4: Everything looks like cheating when you read stories about how
• 43:38
  Speaker 4: everyone's cheating.
• 43:39
  Speaker 5: It's true.
• 43:41
  Speaker 4: But yeah, I think that what you said is exactly
• 43:46
  Speaker 4: what needed to be done, which was approach with curiosity
• 43:50
  Speaker 4: over judgment or thinking that you know exactly what it is.
• 43:55
  Speaker 5: That was my affirmation this morning. What I wanted to
• 43:58
  Speaker 5: focus on was curiosity.
• 43:59
  Speaker 4: Approaching with curiosity.
• 44:01
  Speaker 5: And I'm glad that I could put it into this podcast.
• 44:04
  Speaker 5: Thank you, myself. Conclusion. We both agreed to work on
• 44:09
  Speaker 5: our communication and attend couples therapy weekly. I also decided
• 44:13
  Speaker 5: it was time for me to slow down. I will
• 44:15
  Speaker 5: begin exploring a sale of my business in semi-retiring. I've
• 44:20
  Speaker 5: been incredibly smart with investments and have more than enough
• 44:23
  Speaker 5: to retire even before I sell the business. It's time
• 44:26
  Speaker 5: for me to enjoy the rest of my life with
• 44:28
  Speaker 5: the woman I love. Time to go on trips with
• 44:30
  Speaker 5: the family. Time to live like every day is my last.
• 44:34
  Speaker 4: Ugh.
• 44:35
  Speaker 5: Dang.
• 44:35
  Speaker 1: Beautiful!
• 44:36
  Speaker 5: Wow, very spiritual towards the end. I kind of like that.
• 44:39
  Speaker 1: What a beautiful baby story.
• 44:41
  Speaker 5: Ugh, and now you're just going to live the rest
• 44:43
  Speaker 5: of your days out doing what you love.
• 44:46
  Speaker 4: Yes.
• 44:47
  Speaker 5: Banging your wife.
• 44:48
  Speaker 4: Oh, oh God.
• 44:50
  Speaker 5: Bang, bang. Am I right?
• 44:52
  Speaker 4: Intimacy in your wife.
• 44:54
  Speaker 5: Maximum overdrive intimacy. But that's the end of that story.
• 45:00
  Speaker 2: My father slept through my daughter's first school play, and
• 45:03
  Speaker 2: it ruined her big day.
• 45:04
  Speaker 5: He's just a tired little guy.
• 45:06
  Speaker 2: My 35 female father, 68 male, moved to a different
• 45:10
  Speaker 2: country eight years ago. He tries to visit whenever he can,
• 45:12
  Speaker 2: and I try to help him have as much of
• 45:14
  Speaker 2: a relationship with my children, nine male, five female, and
• 45:17
  Speaker 2: a baby girl. Whenever he visits, however, he tends to
• 45:21
  Speaker 2: act a bit entitled. He either sleeps or hangs out
• 45:24
  Speaker 2: with his old friends in the mornings and afternoons, doesn't
• 45:27
  Speaker 2: help me with anything I ask him to, and then
• 45:29
  Speaker 2: gets annoyed when he wants to do something at 9pm
• 45:31
  Speaker 2: and the kids are too tired. Excuses are always that
• 45:34
  Speaker 2: he's exhausted from traveling and deserves to get some rest
• 45:37
  Speaker 2: and spend time with friends he never gets to see anymore.
• 45:40
  Speaker 2: My kids are always excited when my dad visits, but
• 45:42
  Speaker 2: at this point, they see him more when he's FaceTiming
• 45:44
  Speaker 2: us from a different hemisphere than when he's staying in
• 45:47
  Speaker 2: our own guest room. Anyway, he's visiting us now to
• 45:49
  Speaker 2: meet my youngest daughter, who was born in September. He
• 45:52
  Speaker 2: got here two weeks ago and will fly back home
• 45:54
  Speaker 2: in a few days. I've been trying to get him
• 45:55
  Speaker 2: to spend more time with my kids this time around,
• 45:57
  Speaker 2: but he still goes out a lot. By the way,
• 46:00
  Speaker 2: this comes from user SchoolPlayThrowaway. If you want to submit
• 46:02
  Speaker 2: your own stories, go to the r slash OKStoryTime subreddit.
• 46:05
  Speaker 1: I'm Keon.
• 46:06
  Speaker 5: I'm Savannah.
• 46:07
  Speaker 1: I'm Riley.
• 46:07
  Speaker 2: And us three are going to give good advice goofily.
• 46:10
  Speaker 2: We don't know everything, guys.
• 46:11
  Speaker 1: Look at us. Look at Savannah.
• 46:12
  Speaker 3: See?
• 46:13
  Speaker 2: So put what you know in the comments down below.
• 46:15
  Speaker 2: My oldest daughter had her first ever school play on Saturday.
• 46:17
  Speaker 2: She was really excited about it and invited my father.
• 46:20
  Speaker 2: He promised her he'd come. The day before the play,
• 46:22
  Speaker 2: my father went out with his friends and didn't come
• 46:24
  Speaker 2: back until 3 a.m. The play started at 11 a.m.,
• 46:27
  Speaker 2: and we had to get there 30 minutes earlier. In total,
• 46:30
  Speaker 2: he must have gotten about six hours of sleep. When we,
• 46:33
  Speaker 2: my dad, my husband, my son, and myself got there,
• 46:36
  Speaker 2: we sat at one of the first rows.
• 46:38
  Speaker 1: My daughter.
• 46:38
  Speaker 2: had asked us to the play was 40 minutes long
• 46:40
  Speaker 2: my father fell asleep less than 15 minutes in i
• 46:43
  Speaker 2: woke him up but he went back to sleep he
• 46:45
  Speaker 2: snores loudly when he sleeps so i kept waking him
• 46:48
  Speaker 2: up whenever he slept near the end of the play
• 46:50
  Speaker 2: i was too late to wake him and he let
• 46:52
  Speaker 2: out a snore that was so loud that some of
• 46:54
  Speaker 2: the kids on the stage looked over at us. At that,
• 46:57
  Speaker 2: I hit his arm a little harder, and he didn't
• 46:59
  Speaker 2: fall back asleep. My husband and I haven't mentioned anything
• 47:02
  Speaker 2: to my daughter, but it's obvious that she'd noticed. She
• 47:05
  Speaker 2: was heartbroken after the play and dismissed any of our
• 47:07
  Speaker 2: attempts to talk about it. My husband filmed the play
• 47:10
  Speaker 2: for my mom and stepdad, who were with our baby
• 47:12
  Speaker 2: during it. Instantly after the play, my dad asked if
• 47:14
  Speaker 2: he could have the video too, since he didn't watch
• 47:17
  Speaker 2: most of it. I told him that he had the
• 47:18
  Speaker 2: opportunity to watch it live and instead ruin the experience
• 47:21
  Speaker 2: for all of us, especially my daughter. He doesn't deserve
• 47:24
  Speaker 2: to watch what he just missed because he decided to
• 47:26
  Speaker 2: stay out late the night before. My dad's... He's telling
• 47:29
  Speaker 2: me and my husband that we're robbing him of his
• 47:31
  Speaker 2: role in my daughter's life. He also maintains the excuse
• 47:33
  Speaker 2: that he was exhausted during the play and he needed.
• 47:36
  Speaker 1: To get some rest.
• 47:36
  Speaker 4: Why does he sound like a teenager?
• 47:38
  Speaker 1: He's acting like one. I'd be like, yeah, dad, why
• 47:40
  Speaker 1: are you exhausted?
• 47:41
  Speaker 2: Can you tell me why? Oh, because of your travels? No, buddy,
• 47:44
  Speaker 2: you were out till 3 a.m. Can you imagine being
• 47:46
  Speaker 2: a 70-year-old going out till 3 a.m.
• 47:48
  Speaker 1: With your boys?
• 47:48
  Speaker 5: That sounds so fun.
• 47:50
  Speaker 1: Sounds like me in the future.
• 47:51
  Speaker 5: That sounds so fun.
• 47:52
  Speaker 1: You're retired.
• 47:53
  Speaker 5: You don't have anything else to do. Let's go get drunk.
• 47:55
  Speaker 2: Obi continues saying, I really don't think we're the a-holes,
• 47:58
  Speaker 2: but with how tense things have been getting, it might
• 48:00
  Speaker 2: be easier to just let him watch the video. And
• 48:02
  Speaker 2: we have some relevant comments. Why do you let him
• 48:04
  Speaker 2: stay with you? He stays with my younger sister sometimes,
• 48:07
  Speaker 2: but her place is much smaller than ours. The rest
• 48:09
  Speaker 2: of my paternal family lives mostly in a different state.
• 48:11
  Speaker 2: It's usually more convenient for him to stay at my apartment.
• 48:14
  Speaker 2: And my grandmother, my mom is especially upset about this.
• 48:16
  Speaker 2: She wanted to come to the play but volunteered to
• 48:18
  Speaker 2: watch my baby so that my dad could go. He's
• 48:21
  Speaker 2: probably embarrassed that he looked bad and wants to seem
• 48:23
  Speaker 2: like he cares now. Opie responds with, yeah, that definitely
• 48:26
  Speaker 2: crossed my mind. I'm pretty sure he was embarrassed about
• 48:28
  Speaker 2: the snoring and it would make sense for him to
• 48:30
  Speaker 2: want the video because of that. Another commenter says, you
• 48:33
  Speaker 2: need to determine with your dad if he's in town
• 48:35
  Speaker 2: to help with whatever you ask him to or to
• 48:38
  Speaker 2: just visit friends and relax. Plus, see you and the kids.
• 48:41
  Speaker 2: There's a difference in intent. OP responds to that commenter saying,
• 48:44
  Speaker 2: by help me with anything I ask him to, I
• 48:46
  Speaker 2: meant miniscule task. You know, handing over the remote control
• 48:50
  Speaker 2: is too much of an effort sometimes. The most I've
• 48:52
  Speaker 2: asked him to do was pick up the takeout we'd order.
• 48:54
  Speaker 2: He was 10 steps away from the door and I
• 48:56
  Speaker 2: was changing a diaper and wash his plate after dinner.
• 48:58
  Speaker 2: We have a wash what you use rule and OP
• 49:01
  Speaker 2: is voted not the a-hole.
• 49:02
  Speaker 1: We have an update.
• 49:03
  Speaker 5: No, why would you?
• 49:04
  Speaker 1: We have an update.
• 49:05
  Speaker 2: Do we think father is going to take some accountability?
• 49:07
  Speaker 5: I would hope so. I mean, the thing is, it
• 49:10
  Speaker 5: seems like either way.
• 49:11
  Speaker 1: You hope so, but do you think he is?
• 49:12
  Speaker 5: No.
• 49:13
  Speaker 2: No.
• 49:13
  Speaker 5: Like, if he was supposed to be the one to
• 49:15
  Speaker 5: watch the baby, he would have fallen asleep. And instead,
• 49:18
  Speaker 5: he went to the play and fell asleep. So either way,
• 49:21
  Speaker 5: this would have been a disaster.
• 49:22
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 49:22
  Speaker 5: So I guess this is the better choice because you
• 49:25
  Speaker 5: don't want your baby to be, you know, unsupervised.
• 49:28
  Speaker 2: I will say sometimes my dad does fall asleep at movies.
• 49:31
  Speaker 1: Well, I mean, yeah. He just looks so comfortable. I'm like,
• 49:34
  Speaker 1: as long as he doesn't snore, it's fine.
• 49:35
  Speaker 4: Yeah, exactly.
• 49:35
  Speaker 3: Whenever I was working at the sawmill, I went with
• 49:37
  Speaker 3: my little brother to go to some sort of space thing.
• 49:41
  Speaker 3: You know how you look at the stars and the
• 49:43
  Speaker 3: planets and all that? I was so tired, I just
• 49:45
  Speaker 3: took a nap. Because of all the physical labor I
• 49:47
  Speaker 3: was doing.
• 49:48
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it happened.
• 49:49
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 49:50
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 49:50
  Speaker 5: You just get comfy. You don't mean to whatever. But
• 49:53
  Speaker 5: it doesn't help that you were out till 3 a.m.
• 49:55
  Speaker 5: with your friends and then got five hours sleep, had
• 49:57
  Speaker 5: to wake up and was like, I'm ready to go.
• 49:59
  Speaker 5: And then just not even 15 minutes into it, you're out.
• 50:02
  Speaker 5: It's like, okay.
• 50:03
  Speaker 1: We have an update.
• 50:04
  Speaker 2: My father's leaving tomorrow, so I thought I'd give a
• 50:06
  Speaker 2: small update. These past few days, things have been awkward,
• 50:10
  Speaker 2: mostly because me and my husband were mad at my father,
• 50:12
  Speaker 2: who was mad at us back. A few hours after
• 50:14
  Speaker 2: I wrote my post, my father decided to prove me
• 50:17
  Speaker 2: wrong about my daughter being upset. Great, let's weaponize the
• 50:20
  Speaker 2: little child. He sat next to her and tried to
• 50:22
  Speaker 2: get her to talk about the play. He was asking
• 50:24
  Speaker 2: her questions about it, many of which... He'd know the
• 50:27
  Speaker 2: answers to if he'd stayed awake during it. I'm guessing
• 50:29
  Speaker 2: my daughter understood that because it only made things worse.
• 50:33
  Speaker 2: She refused to answer his questions, and at one point,
• 50:35
  Speaker 2: ran to me crying.
• 50:36
  Speaker 1: Good job, Dad! You made her cry!
• 50:38
  Speaker 6: Wow.
• 50:38
  Speaker 1: You definitely proved a point.
• 50:40
  Speaker 5: Yeah, that's sad.
• 50:41
  Speaker 2: I'm not sure if that was my dad's wake-up call
• 50:43
  Speaker 2: or if it was his granddaughter refusing to talk to him.
• 50:46
  Speaker 2: She usually idolizes him. Whatever it was, he apologized to
• 50:49
  Speaker 2: my daughter, and Opie puts in quotes here, Grandpa was
• 50:52
  Speaker 2: really tired, but he loves you very much.
• 50:54
  Speaker 1: That's so lame. It is the sorry but, isn't it?
• 50:58
  Speaker 1: Isn't that crazy?
• 50:59
  Speaker 3: How like a sorry can mean so much at the beginning,
• 51:02
  Speaker 3: but as soon as that but landed, it's out the window.
• 51:05
  Speaker 3: It's like it doesn't even matter.
• 51:07
  Speaker 1: Riley, what if I gave you my sorry but?
• 51:09
  Speaker 6: Never.
• 51:09
  Speaker 3: No, you're like, I'm late, but my dad made me
• 51:12
  Speaker 3: move boxes.
• 51:13
  Speaker 1: So yeah, recently.
• 51:14
  Speaker 5: What if I just said I'm sorry but?
• 51:16
  Speaker 4: But what?
• 51:17
  Speaker 5: And then just moon you.
• 51:17
  Speaker 1: Yeah, what if I just gave you my butt?
• 51:19
  Speaker 3: I would rather that. That's a B-U-T-T, not a B-U-T.
• 51:23
  Speaker 3: Add the extra T and we're A-OK. Show me some
• 51:26
  Speaker 3: anal glands. Oh my gosh, we'll even be even better.
• 51:29
  Speaker 1: No.
• 51:29
  Speaker 3: Glands?
• 51:30
  Speaker 5: Talking about my ovaries? Give him the glands. Talking about
• 51:32
  Speaker 5: his glands? What's up with you? Where's Angie?
• 51:35
  Speaker 2: I don't know.
• 51:35
  Speaker 3: It's been a while.
• 51:36
  Speaker 4: I haven't seen her in a while.
• 51:37
  Speaker 1: You need to visit the doctor.
• 51:37
  Speaker 4: I need to visit Angie.
• 51:39
  Speaker 6: I know.
• 51:40
  Speaker 2: OP continues saying, my daughter said she forgave him, but
• 51:43
  Speaker 2: was still upset. So he came to me Tuesday night
• 51:45
  Speaker 2: to ask what he could do to fix things before
• 51:47
  Speaker 2: he went home. I helped him brainstorm some ideas. Yesterday,
• 51:50
  Speaker 2: my father surprised the kids with a trip to the aquarium.
• 51:52
  Speaker 2: My daughter had been asking us to go there for
• 51:54
  Speaker 2: a while, but with a newborn at home, we hadn't
• 51:56
  Speaker 2: had time to do that yet. The kids had a
• 51:59
  Speaker 2: lot of fun there, and my dad let them each
• 52:01
  Speaker 2: get a plushie from the gift shop.
• 52:02
  Speaker 5: Awww.
• 52:03
  Speaker 1: Listen, okay, you can't do this every time, though. You
• 52:05
  Speaker 1: can't buy their love.
• 52:06
  Speaker 5: It is true. You cannot buy their love, but it
• 52:08
  Speaker 5: is something that they wanted, and to kids, that means
• 52:11
  Speaker 5: a lot. I don't know.
• 52:12
  Speaker 3: My great-grandpa would always buy my love by getting me
• 52:14
  Speaker 3: toys on the weekends.
• 52:15
  Speaker 4: It always worked.
• 52:16
  Speaker 2: It always works for the kids. It shouldn't work for
• 52:18
  Speaker 2: the parents, where they're like, okay, I see what you're doing.
• 52:20
  Speaker 2: This shouldn't be your resort every time. It shouldn't be like, oh,
• 52:22
  Speaker 2: I messed up.
• 52:23
  Speaker 1: Let me buy them something.
• 52:24
  Speaker 5: This is him trying to reconcile, though. And since they
• 52:26
  Speaker 5: can't sit down and have a one-on-one talk to a
• 52:29
  Speaker 5: five-year-old and a nine-year-old, it's like, all right, you know what?
• 52:33
  Speaker 5: Let's go on a little trip. I'm sorry. Here's what
• 52:35
  Speaker 5: we're going to do.
• 52:36
  Speaker 1: Hey, Riley, could you take us to the aquarium?
• 52:38
  Speaker 5: Stop, because I would love to go to the aquarium.
• 52:40
  Speaker 5: Have you been to Long Beach one? Have you?
• 52:41
  Speaker 1: We should all go. We should all go.
• 52:43
  Speaker 5: I love it there.
• 52:44
  Speaker 1: I love it.
• 52:45
  Speaker 5: There's so many things you can touch.
• 52:46
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's fun. I love that.
• 52:47
  Speaker 5: That's why I love it. I'm such a hands-on girl.
• 52:50
  Speaker 2: Afterwards, we went to Mickey D's and took the kids
• 52:52
  Speaker 2: to see Santa at the mall. Overall, my kids had
• 52:54
  Speaker 2: a great day with their grandfather, and my daughter is feeling.
• 52:57
  Speaker 1: A lot better. That said.
• 52:58
  Speaker 2: The aquarium, non-fancy food, and old guy in a fake
• 53:01
  Speaker 2: beard are definitely part of my father's ideas of heck.
• 53:04
  Speaker 2: So I'm sure I'll hear him complain about all the
• 53:06
  Speaker 2: sacrifices he made for his grandkids for a while. But
• 53:09
  Speaker 2: as long as my kids think he had fun, I'm
• 53:11
  Speaker 2: fine with that. I do think he understands he screwed
• 53:13
  Speaker 2: up though. He's no longer asking us for the video,
• 53:15
  Speaker 2: and has promised he'll never show such disregard for things
• 53:18
  Speaker 2: my kids care about again.
• 53:19
  Speaker 5: I think honestly that that works for him to do
• 53:22
  Speaker 5: that and to be like, you know, I'm going to
• 53:24
  Speaker 5: reconcile with something that the kids want to do. As
• 53:27
  Speaker 5: long as like, you know, it's not like, oh, I'll reconcile.
• 53:30
  Speaker 5: Come on, kids, come to the bar with me and
• 53:31
  Speaker 5: my friends. Like, you know, it could have been something
• 53:33
  Speaker 5: like that. And I would be like, no, at least
• 53:35
  Speaker 5: he was doing something for the kids, something that they
• 53:37
  Speaker 5: wanted and something that they've been looking forward to doing. And,
• 53:39
  Speaker 5: you know, and he probably had them by himself, you know,
• 53:42
  Speaker 5: the whole day. So that's honestly kind of like a
• 53:44
  Speaker 5: punishment for him. Great.
• 53:46
  Speaker 2: What about OP? What is dad going to do for OP?
• 53:48
  Speaker 2: Father should take OP to the aquarium too. As some
• 53:52
  Speaker 2: of you suggested, I told him that he'll have to
• 53:54
  Speaker 2: stay with my sister or one of his friends next
• 53:56
  Speaker 2: time he visits. I think he knows the you're keeping
• 53:59
  Speaker 2: me away from my grandkids excuse won't work on me
• 54:02
  Speaker 2: because he hasn't complained about that yet. If he tries
• 54:04
  Speaker 2: to pick a fight over it once he's home, I'll
• 54:06
  Speaker 2: hang up on him.
• 54:07
  Speaker 1: Thanks, everyone. We have some relevant comments here saying.
• 54:09
  Speaker 2: What's he got against aquariums? OP replies with, he thinks
• 54:12
  Speaker 2: they're boring. Same goes for zoos. So this guy really sucks.
• 54:15
  Speaker 5: He has no whimsy in his life.
• 54:16
  Speaker 2: What does he enjoy?
• 54:17
  Speaker 1: You know what? Take the kids to the bars. That's, yeah.
• 54:19
  Speaker 5: That's what I said.
• 54:20
  Speaker 2: Obi continues saying it's a good start, but not convinced
• 54:23
  Speaker 2: his behavior will change.
• 54:24
  Speaker 1: Quotes.
• 54:25
  Speaker 2: Oh, I'm not convinced either. That's why he's not staying
• 54:27
  Speaker 2: with us next time. I don't want my kids to
• 54:29
  Speaker 2: get used to him behaving like this. My sister has
• 54:32
  Speaker 2: a daughter, so I hope he stays with one of
• 54:34
  Speaker 2: his friends instead of her.
• 54:35
  Speaker 1: And that is the end of the story. There you go.
• 54:38
  Speaker 5: Yeah, this guy. I mean, he's probably got a couple
• 54:41
  Speaker 5: more years.
• 54:43
  Speaker 1: Probably a decade. Probably two.
• 54:45
  Speaker 4: I don't know.
• 54:46
  Speaker 5: He's drinking his life away.
• 54:47
  Speaker 4: True.
• 54:48
  Speaker 5: So who knows, but this guy, yeah.
• 54:51
  Speaker 2: And that's the end of this story. We're gonna go
• 54:54
  Speaker 2: on to the next one.
• 54:55
  Speaker 6: My mother skipped my graduation dinner to avoid my father.
• 54:59
  Speaker 1: That's just rude.
• 55:00
  Speaker 6: So a bit of context to start off. Three years
• 55:02
  Speaker 6: ago on Christmas Eve, my mom, 65 female, had a
• 55:05
  Speaker 6: crash out and announced to me, 23 female, that she
• 55:08
  Speaker 6: was filing for divorce with my dad. I had not
• 55:10
  Speaker 6: seen it coming and I proceeded to spend the worst
• 55:12
  Speaker 6: Christmas of my life completely out of it and profoundly sad.
• 55:16
  Speaker 6: The last three years have been quite rocky. For the
• 55:18
  Speaker 6: first year, I was the only one knowing about the
• 55:21
  Speaker 6: incoming divorce. I had to live with my dad, 70 male,
• 55:24
  Speaker 6: and my sister, 25 female, all the while keeping this
• 55:27
  Speaker 6: secret from them and dealing with my mother witching to
• 55:30
  Speaker 6: me about my dad. I ended up blowing a fuse
• 55:32
  Speaker 6: one day and asked her to either file for divorce
• 55:34
  Speaker 6: and leave the house or stop talking to me about it.
• 55:37
  Speaker 6: She was mad at first, and we had several conversations
• 55:39
  Speaker 6: before she finally consented to stop. By the way, this
• 55:43
  Speaker 6: comes from Tapas44. And if you want to submit your
• 55:45
  Speaker 6: own stories, go to the r slash showcase story time subreddit.
• 55:48
  Speaker 5: I'm Sophia.
• 55:49
  Speaker 1: I'm Keon.
• 55:49
  Speaker 3: I'm Riley.
• 55:50
  Speaker 6: And we're here to give good advice goofily, but we
• 55:52
  Speaker 6: don't have all the answers. We only know what we'd do.
• 55:54
  Speaker 6: So let us know what you would do in the comments.
• 55:55
  Speaker 6: This year, she finally went for it. And she and
• 55:58
  Speaker 6: my dad are divorcing. My sister has since moved out,
• 56:01
  Speaker 6: so it's just me and my parents who barely talk
• 56:03
  Speaker 6: to each other anymore.
• 56:04
  Speaker 5: So let's say the vibe is icy at home.
• 56:07
  Speaker 6: I cannot tell you the number of times I was
• 56:09
  Speaker 6: caught in the middle of their disagreements and silent, petty fights,
• 56:13
  Speaker 6: but I've always tried not to pick sides and to
• 56:15
  Speaker 6: stay out of it as much as possible. I recently
• 56:17
  Speaker 6: graduated from uni... And as soon as I got my diploma,
• 56:21
  Speaker 6: I got a call from a company I interned in
• 56:23
  Speaker 6: during my studies.
• 56:24
  Speaker 5: Best internship of my life, by the way. Offering me
• 56:26
  Speaker 5: my dream job.
• 56:27
  Speaker 1: Yes. Yes.
• 56:29
  Speaker 6: Sometimes you got to go through a lot of struggles
• 56:31
  Speaker 6: and then you get something nice.
• 56:32
  Speaker 2: You got to go through a lot of lows to
• 56:34
  Speaker 2: really feel the highs.
• 56:35
  Speaker 6: When I got the news, I was over the moon.
• 56:37
  Speaker 6: I wanted nothing more than to announce it to my family.
• 56:40
  Speaker 6: but my dad was away and my mom was going
• 56:42
  Speaker 6: on a vacation with her sister, so I decided to
• 56:45
  Speaker 6: wait until they both got back. My sister was supposed
• 56:48
  Speaker 6: to come by a few days ago, and since both
• 56:50
  Speaker 6: my parents would have been back, I had planned to
• 56:52
  Speaker 6: tell them. Unfortunately, my sister hurt her back at the
• 56:55
  Speaker 6: gym and she was not able to make the trip,
• 56:58
  Speaker 6: so I decided to book a table later in the
• 57:00
  Speaker 6: week in the same city my sister lives in so
• 57:02
  Speaker 6: that we could still see each other. I told my
• 57:04
  Speaker 6: mom I was planning a dinner to celebrate my graduation,
• 57:08
  Speaker 6: and she immediately turned down the invite saying she didn't
• 57:11
  Speaker 6: feel like sharing a table with my dad for one night.
• 57:13
  Speaker 2: Y'all share a house y'all shared a life for come
• 57:16
  Speaker 2: on let's just say at least 20 plus years i.
• 57:19
  Speaker 6: Begged her to come promised we would only stay for
• 57:22
  Speaker 6: one hour tops explained how important it was to me
• 57:25
  Speaker 6: and that a dinner with my family was the only
• 57:27
  Speaker 6: graduation present i needed but she refused to come i
• 57:31
  Speaker 6: assured her that my dad wouldn't even talk to her
• 57:34
  Speaker 6: that they could act as if the other wasn't there
• 57:36
  Speaker 6: But she just wouldn't budge.
• 57:38
  Speaker 5: In the end, I made a.
• 57:39
  Speaker 6: Reservation for the four of us and invited her. I
• 57:42
  Speaker 6: told her this was extremely important for me and her
• 57:45
  Speaker 6: absence would deeply hurt me. I reminded her that I
• 57:47
  Speaker 6: had bit the bullet many times during these past years
• 57:50
  Speaker 6: and now was the time to pay me back. The
• 57:53
  Speaker 6: day came and she did not show. I celebrated my
• 57:56
  Speaker 6: graduation with my sis and my dad and surprised them.
• 57:59
  Speaker 5: With the news of my first job. And we had
• 58:01
  Speaker 5: a great night.
• 58:02
  Speaker 6: But deep down, I was really sad that my mom
• 58:05
  Speaker 6: wasn't a part of it.
• 58:06
  Speaker 5: What should have been a great night, tasted bitter and dry.
• 58:09
  Speaker 6: Me and my mom are still not talking and she
• 58:11
  Speaker 6: found out about my first job through my sister. She
• 58:14
  Speaker 6: got upset and asked to celebrate just the two of us,
• 58:16
  Speaker 6: but I told her I needed her days earlier and
• 58:18
  Speaker 6: she was a no-show. I explained to her that the
• 58:20
  Speaker 6: goal was to celebrate with the three of them and
• 58:22
  Speaker 6: I wasn't keen on celebrating my success under her terms only.
• 58:27
  Speaker 6: My sister thinks I'm being too harsh and that my
• 58:29
  Speaker 6: mom didn't mean to hurt me am i the a-hole
• 58:32
  Speaker 6: and should i accept my mom's offer to celebrate together
• 58:35
  Speaker 6: and we've got an edit and presumably a little bit
• 58:38
  Speaker 6: left to this story but what do you think.
• 58:39
  Speaker 2: Is op the a-hole no your mom's extremely selfish she's
• 58:42
  Speaker 2: been extremely selfish for all this time she couldn't have
• 58:44
  Speaker 2: been just an adult for one hour one hour to
• 58:47
  Speaker 2: celebrate you it wasn't even like she didn't even have
• 58:49
  Speaker 2: to talk to him the only time i would be
• 58:51
  Speaker 2: like oh that sounds like okay that makes sense is
• 58:53
  Speaker 2: like if there was emotional mistreatment or something like that
• 58:57
  Speaker 2: but we didn't get that at all.
• 58:59
  Speaker 6: Honestly, she seemed like she was the one who was, yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah, no,
• 59:03
  Speaker 6: I don't think that you're the A-hole at all. I
• 59:05
  Speaker 6: think she showed that she refused, that, you know, she
• 59:08
  Speaker 6: didn't want to come through for you.
• 59:09
  Speaker 5: When you needed her. And now she's like, oh, well, well,
• 59:12
  Speaker 5: now I can do it alone if, you know, it's
• 59:14
  Speaker 5: just the two of us.
• 59:15
  Speaker 6: Edit, because y'all have questions. My dad was a typical
• 59:18
  Speaker 6: man in his relationship with my mom. He lied about
• 59:20
  Speaker 6: things and discarded her feelings and opinions. But he never
• 59:23
  Speaker 6: screamed at her, never hit her, and never spoke badly
• 59:26
  Speaker 6: to her or about her. And I'm not saying I'm
• 59:29
  Speaker 6: okay with that behavior, by the way. He was not
• 59:31
  Speaker 6: good to her. And I've always told her she was
• 59:33
  Speaker 6: doing the right thing and that, in the end, it
• 59:35
  Speaker 6: didn't matter to me as so long as she was happy.
• 59:38
  Speaker 6: Since the start of the divorce, my dad has tried
• 59:40
  Speaker 6: really hard to not let me or my sister know
• 59:43
  Speaker 6: about anything and keep to himself. But the same cannot
• 59:46
  Speaker 6: be said for my mom. I had to have many
• 59:48
  Speaker 6: conversations with her about sharing the details of the divorce
• 59:51
  Speaker 6: with me Talking crap about my dad, his friends, his family,
• 59:55
  Speaker 6: and making fun of him with her friends in front
• 59:57
  Speaker 6: of me and my sister. And that is what I'm
• 59:59
  Speaker 6: referring to when I talk about me biting the bullet
• 1:00:02
  Speaker 6: many times. It seemed to me like I always put
• 1:00:05
  Speaker 6: her happiness first, and when I asked her to do
• 1:00:07
  Speaker 6: the same for one night, she flat out refused. A
• 1:00:10
  Speaker 6: few months ago, my sister had a hard time and
• 1:00:12
  Speaker 6: organized a four-person lunch, and my mom did show. She's
• 1:00:16
  Speaker 6: much closer to my sister than me.
• 1:00:17
  Speaker 5: I'm sorry. Wait.
• 1:00:18
  Speaker 6: So your mom, your sister had the four person lunch
• 1:00:21
  Speaker 6: with your dad there and your mom came to that?
• 1:00:24
  Speaker 1: That wasn't clear on that. I feel like dad was there.
• 1:00:27
  Speaker 5: Well, that's what I'm saying.
• 1:00:27
  Speaker 6: I think it's implied that dad was there and she
• 1:00:30
  Speaker 6: came to that because she's closer to your sister.
• 1:00:33
  Speaker 1: So there's also favoritism going on here.
• 1:00:35
  Speaker 2: And that's the end of this story. We're going to
• 1:00:37
  Speaker 2: go on to the next one.
• 1:00:39
  Speaker 5: My mother taught both my siblings to drive, but never me.
• 1:00:43
  Speaker 5: She just knew you were too capable. There's a trigger
• 1:00:45
  Speaker 5: warning here for favoritism. My sister, a 24 female, got
• 1:00:49
  Speaker 5: her license a few weeks ago. I, 26 female, am
• 1:00:52
  Speaker 5: the only sibling without a license, but I do have
• 1:00:55
  Speaker 5: a learner's permit. Since 2015, I have been requesting assistance
• 1:00:58
  Speaker 5: from my mom to help me obtain my license. At first,
• 1:01:01
  Speaker 5: she would decline, telling me, that I have butterfly syndrome. Wow.
• 1:01:06
  Speaker 5: Let's fill the world.
• 1:01:08
  Speaker 1: It's so amazing.
• 1:01:09
  Speaker 5: She grows wings and flies away. She gets easily distracted. What?
• 1:01:13
  Speaker 5: That's a thing?
• 1:01:14
  Speaker 4: Yep.
• 1:01:15
  Speaker 5: I do agree that I did have attention span issues,
• 1:01:18
  Speaker 5: even to this day where I am suspected.
• 1:01:20
  Speaker 1: Of having ADHD.
• 1:01:22
  Speaker 5: She never sought for me to get evaluated to find
• 1:01:24
  Speaker 5: the root cause behind me being so easily distracted. Throughout
• 1:01:28
  Speaker 5: the years, I made efforts to show that I am
• 1:01:30
  Speaker 5: responsible and vigilant. and still refused to help me learn. Ironically,
• 1:01:33
  Speaker 5: whenever I needed a ride to go to work, she
• 1:01:35
  Speaker 5: would make me- passive-aggressive comments asking me when I was
• 1:01:38
  Speaker 5: going to get my license. Her next excuse was that
• 1:01:41
  Speaker 5: she didn't trust me and was too scared to give
• 1:01:43
  Speaker 5: me instructions. By the way, this comes from proofstreet4239. If
• 1:01:46
  Speaker 5: you want to submit your own stories, go to the
• 1:01:49
  Speaker 5: r slash okay story type subreddit. I'm Savannah. I'm Sophia.
• 1:01:53
  Speaker 1: I'm Riley.
• 1:01:53
  Speaker 5: And we're here to talk about some stuff and not
• 1:01:55
  Speaker 5: get distracted because none of us do that here.
• 1:01:57
  Speaker 6: You've never once gotten distracted and anyone who told you
• 1:01:59
  Speaker 6: that is a dirty, dirty liar.
• 1:02:01
  Speaker 5: And we're gonna say what we have to say and
• 1:02:02
  Speaker 5: If you don't agree with it, that sucks. But also,
• 1:02:05
  Speaker 5: you're open to your own opinion, so give it in
• 1:02:07
  Speaker 5: the comments. I eventually signed up and took lessons from
• 1:02:10
  Speaker 5: the public driving school. My instructor would praise my skills,
• 1:02:13
  Speaker 5: told me that I'm a good driver, and told me
• 1:02:15
  Speaker 5: I just need extra practice at home. She still refused
• 1:02:18
  Speaker 5: to let me practice with her car and wouldn't let
• 1:02:20
  Speaker 5: other relatives help me due to her fears. She, however,
• 1:02:23
  Speaker 5: had no problem allowing my brother to take her car
• 1:02:26
  Speaker 5: around the world, all while she was in the passenger seat.
• 1:02:29
  Speaker 5: She was calm and patient with my sister when she
• 1:02:31
  Speaker 5: was learning how to drive. My mother also accompanied my
• 1:02:34
  Speaker 5: brother to help him purchase a car. I couldn't help
• 1:02:36
  Speaker 5: but to feel resentment, not at my siblings, but towards her.
• 1:02:40
  Speaker 5: Why wasn't I worthy of her patience, her trust? Why
• 1:02:43
  Speaker 5: did she always shut me down, yet get frustrated with
• 1:02:46
  Speaker 5: my lack of license? At that point, I feel discouraged
• 1:02:48
  Speaker 5: from the lack of support from her and gave up.
• 1:02:51
  Speaker 5: I had to stop my lessons due to a diagnosis.
• 1:02:53
  Speaker 5: I was absent from work for a few months. I
• 1:02:55
  Speaker 5: was also prescribed new medications where I had to be
• 1:02:58
  Speaker 5: monitored and was advised against operating machinery and vehicles until
• 1:03:01
  Speaker 5: the side effects subsided. Recently, I re-enrolled into the driving
• 1:03:05
  Speaker 5: school with my first lesson on August 1st. I shared
• 1:03:08
  Speaker 5: the news with my sister who shared the news with
• 1:03:09
  Speaker 5: my mother. My mother told me that she would start
• 1:03:12
  Speaker 5: practicing with me. I declined and told her that while
• 1:03:14
  Speaker 5: I appreciate her offer, but that I was just going
• 1:03:17
  Speaker 5: to stick with the instructor's lessons. She questioned my rejection
• 1:03:20
  Speaker 5: to her offer. I tried to end the conversation to
• 1:03:23
  Speaker 5: prevent an argument with no success. We ended up having
• 1:03:25
  Speaker 5: a heated argument and I finally blew up. I explained
• 1:03:29
  Speaker 5: how I have spent years asking for her support but
• 1:03:32
  Speaker 5: was always blocked and labeled distracting. How I have made
• 1:03:36
  Speaker 5: efforts to show her She can trust me, yet she
• 1:03:39
  Speaker 5: kept making excuses as to why she wouldn't help me.
• 1:03:42
  Speaker 5: I poured out how I felt like a stuck loser
• 1:03:46
  Speaker 5: and behind, how she would enable my brother to make
• 1:03:48
  Speaker 5: jokes about me not having a license, her passive aggressiveness
• 1:03:52
  Speaker 5: and how she couldn't give me the same courtesy and
• 1:03:54
  Speaker 5: patience she demonstrated towards my sister. Her actions showed me
• 1:03:58
  Speaker 5: that she didn't support me. I was tired of being
• 1:04:00
  Speaker 5: met with rejection, so I gave up on asking her
• 1:04:03
  Speaker 5: for help a long time ago. She just looked at me,
• 1:04:06
  Speaker 5: She said, I guess I was just a terrible mother. No, no, no.
• 1:04:11
  Speaker 5: Don't give me the terrible mom routine. I'm not about that.
• 1:04:15
  Speaker 5: I guess I just suck and you're better off without me.
• 1:04:17
  Speaker 6: I guess I'm just the worst. Maybe you should ask
• 1:04:19
  Speaker 6: someone else to be your mom. Maybe you should ask
• 1:04:21
  Speaker 6: your new driving instructor to be your mom.
• 1:04:23
  Speaker 5: Yeah. If I'm so terrible. And left the living room.
• 1:04:25
  Speaker 5: A part of me feels guilty for my explosive reaction.
• 1:04:28
  Speaker 5: That's what she wants. Don't let her win. Yet it
• 1:04:31
  Speaker 5: made me sit down and reminisce how she treated me
• 1:04:33
  Speaker 5: differently from my siblings. For example, I had to start
• 1:04:36
  Speaker 5: paying rent at 17 when I got my first part-time
• 1:04:39
  Speaker 5: job during my junior year of high school. Yet it
• 1:04:42
  Speaker 5: was okay for siblings to just focus on school. See?
• 1:04:45
  Speaker 6: See?
• 1:04:45
  Speaker 3: I had to work in the garden during the summers,
• 1:04:47
  Speaker 3: and my little brothers don't have to anymore.
• 1:04:49
  Speaker 1: They get to play Fortnite.
• 1:04:50
  Speaker 5: Never mind the fact my then-stepdad, who was able-bodied, was
• 1:04:53
  Speaker 5: living with us unemployed. She did raise me a bit
• 1:04:56
  Speaker 5: differently from my siblings, but I still care about her
• 1:04:59
  Speaker 5: feelings since she is my mother. So am I the a-hole? No, she's-
• 1:05:02
  Speaker 5: For what? She's winning! You're letting her win! Yeah, wanting
• 1:05:07
  Speaker 5: to get your license?
• 1:05:08
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 1:05:08
  Speaker 6: Wanting to get your license because your mom told you
• 1:05:10
  Speaker 6: to get your license, and then when you asked her
• 1:05:12
  Speaker 6: to help you get your license, she said, no. So
• 1:05:15
  Speaker 6: then you went to someone else and they helped you.
• 1:05:17
  Speaker 6: And then she came back and was like, OK, well,
• 1:05:19
  Speaker 6: now I can help you.
• 1:05:19
  Speaker 5: And you went too late.
• 1:05:20
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 1:05:21
  Speaker 5: It's just like, I don't really know what you want.
• 1:05:23
  Speaker 5: And I can't sit here and wait for you to
• 1:05:25
  Speaker 5: make up your mind. You're so confusing.
• 1:05:28
  Speaker 2: And that's the end of this story. We're going to
• 1:05:30
  Speaker 2: go on to the next one. Hey, it's Keon, your
• 1:05:33
  Speaker 2: host with the cakes here. We're going to get back
• 1:05:35
  Speaker 2: to the stories. But here's three minutes of ads from
• 1:05:37
  Speaker 2: our sponsors. My brother-in-law paid for everyone's trip, except mine.
• 1:05:41
  Speaker 5: Hey, not fair!
• 1:05:43
  Speaker 2: Oh man, where do I even start? I'm 26 female,
• 1:05:46
  Speaker 2: and my older sister, 33, got married last year. From
• 1:05:48
  Speaker 2: the moment they began dating till present day, her husband,
• 1:05:51
  Speaker 2: 34 male, absolutely hates me. Like, I've done nothing to
• 1:05:55
  Speaker 2: deserve this level of hatred. I've never done anything bad
• 1:05:58
  Speaker 2: to this guy. But he decided that I'm the worst
• 1:06:00
  Speaker 2: person in the world, apparently. He's never explained what his
• 1:06:02
  Speaker 2: problem is with me. but he labels me entitled, vapid, lazy, obnoxious, etc.
• 1:06:07
  Speaker 2: Everyone I know describes me as a kind and friendly person.
• 1:06:10
  Speaker 2: I don't make enemies and I don't have enemies, so
• 1:06:12
  Speaker 2: I've never experienced anything like this in my life. His
• 1:06:14
  Speaker 2: passionate hatred of me had a severe effect on my
• 1:06:17
  Speaker 2: relationship with my sister. I told her many times to
• 1:06:19
  Speaker 2: speak with her husband and ask him to leave me
• 1:06:21
  Speaker 2: alone because this is all unfair. However, she always pretends
• 1:06:26
  Speaker 2: that nothing is going on. In fact, she accuses me
• 1:06:29
  Speaker 2: of being sensitive and seeing things that aren't there every
• 1:06:32
  Speaker 2: time i bring up the topic she shuts it down
• 1:06:34
  Speaker 2: and says ah there you go again does it always
• 1:06:37
  Speaker 2: have to be about you while rolling her eyes it's
• 1:06:41
  Speaker 2: like she knows that he's being unjust but she doesn't
• 1:06:44
  Speaker 2: care a part of me is convinced she doesn't care
• 1:06:46
  Speaker 2: because her husband It's from a rich family, and she's
• 1:06:49
  Speaker 2: basically living the life and doesn't want to threaten that.
• 1:06:52
  Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from user AmbitiousElephant207. And if
• 1:06:55
  Speaker 2: you want to submit your own stories, go to the
• 1:06:56
  Speaker 2: r slash OKStoryTime subreddit.
• 1:06:58
  Speaker 1: I'm Keon.
• 1:06:59
  Speaker 5: I'm Sophia.
• 1:06:59
  Speaker 4: I'm Riley.
• 1:07:00
  Speaker 2: And us three are going to give comments about this story.
• 1:07:03
  Speaker 1: It may be goofy. It may be silly. It may
• 1:07:05
  Speaker 1: be dumb.
• 1:07:05
  Speaker 2: But that's what we're going to do. Let us know
• 1:07:06
  Speaker 2: what you do in the comments. My mother can also
• 1:07:08
  Speaker 2: see what's going on. And I've vented to her many times,
• 1:07:11
  Speaker 2: and she'll just tell me to accept it. She even
• 1:07:14
  Speaker 2: admitted she knows it's terrible the way he's treating me,
• 1:07:16
  Speaker 2: but there's nothing she can do. And that she actually
• 1:07:18
  Speaker 2: feels worse for my sister. I remember my mother telling me,
• 1:07:22
  Speaker 2: we can't have it all in life. Just ignore him
• 1:07:24
  Speaker 2: and be grateful you're not carrying your sister's burden.
• 1:07:27
  Speaker 1: Over the last year or so, these are some.
• 1:07:29
  Speaker 2: Of the actions he's taken against... There is a specific
• 1:07:32
  Speaker 2: type of bread I cannot eat. For my birthday, he
• 1:07:34
  Speaker 2: sent a box full of that specific bread to my address. Dude,
• 1:07:37
  Speaker 2: he hates you.
• 1:07:38
  Speaker 5: It's kind of, it's a level of hatred that's... It's
• 1:07:41
  Speaker 5: very comical. But it's so funny.
• 1:07:42
  Speaker 6: Because it's, he knows so much about you.
• 1:07:45
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 1:07:46
  Speaker 6: You know, like he knows enough about you to know
• 1:07:49
  Speaker 6: that you are allergic or have an intolerance to a
• 1:07:51
  Speaker 6: certain food. food to the point that just so that
• 1:07:54
  Speaker 6: he can torture you with it.
• 1:07:55
  Speaker 1: You're in his head.
• 1:07:56
  Speaker 5: It's really funny.
• 1:07:57
  Speaker 2: It's very funny that you are literally in his head.
• 1:07:59
  Speaker 6: Like he's the type of person who remembers your birthday
• 1:08:02
  Speaker 6: so that on your birthday, he can send you a
• 1:08:05
  Speaker 6: card saying like, oh, I hate you.
• 1:08:08
  Speaker 2: When I got upset, he said, it's just a harmless
• 1:08:10
  Speaker 2: prank and I need to chill. One time at a restaurant,
• 1:08:12
  Speaker 2: we had dinner and he loudly said that I don't
• 1:08:14
  Speaker 2: really look like I belong to the family. For some context,
• 1:08:17
  Speaker 2: my sister and I aren't biologically related. I was adopted
• 1:08:20
  Speaker 2: as a baby. This was really embarrassing and I felt awful.
• 1:08:22
  Speaker 2: I cried in the bathroom and went home early, puffy-eyed.
• 1:08:24
  Speaker 1: LOL.
• 1:08:26
  Speaker 2: Last Christmas, during a family gathering, he presented everyone with
• 1:08:28
  Speaker 2: an amazing, thoughtful gift and gave me... nothing. Listen, I
• 1:08:33
  Speaker 2: don't expect anything from him. But it's not the first
• 1:08:36
  Speaker 2: time he's made a big show of gifting everyone something
• 1:08:38
  Speaker 2: amazing and deliberately gets me nothing. He's done it three
• 1:08:41
  Speaker 2: times since Christmas. It's humiliating to me to be the
• 1:08:45
  Speaker 2: odd one out like that. I'm currently a barista while
• 1:08:48
  Speaker 2: applying for jobs, and brother-in-law once said to me, unprovoked,
• 1:08:51
  Speaker 2: No lofty ambitions, eh? You're too lazy and vain to
• 1:08:54
  Speaker 2: find a real job? I was appalled at the audacity
• 1:08:57
  Speaker 2: and made the mistake of explaining my situation. He basically
• 1:09:00
  Speaker 2: said that he knows the type of woman I am
• 1:09:03
  Speaker 2: and that I'm lazy and want to be fed grapes
• 1:09:05
  Speaker 2: and have servants fan me and someone to massage me.
• 1:09:07
  Speaker 2: Not sure why, but he always acts like I'm some lazy,
• 1:09:10
  Speaker 2: spoiled girl when I'm not. Several times, he's accused me
• 1:09:13
  Speaker 2: of having work on my body done and being plastic
• 1:09:16
  Speaker 2: when I'm 100% natural.
• 1:09:17
  Speaker 1: I'm telling you, I think he likes you.
• 1:09:19
  Speaker 5: Oh, you think I'm pretty? You go, oh, no, I'm
• 1:09:21
  Speaker 5: all natural, but thank you.
• 1:09:23
  Speaker 1: You think these ladies are fake?
• 1:09:24
  Speaker 5: Oh, my God, thank you.
• 1:09:25
  Speaker 1: Oh, my gosh, thank you.
• 1:09:26
  Speaker 4: You're all natural, I know.
• 1:09:27
  Speaker 5: Isn't that crazy?
• 1:09:28
  Speaker 2: What?
• 1:09:28
  Speaker 1: Gosh.
• 1:09:29
  Speaker 2: It's such an odd thing to accuse me of. He
• 1:09:31
  Speaker 2: even said that my sister is so much classier and
• 1:09:33
  Speaker 2: more appropriate than me. And these are just a few examples.
• 1:09:37
  Speaker 2: During conversations, he's always talking down on me, picking arguments
• 1:09:40
  Speaker 2: out of nothing. He also gives me this weird intense
• 1:09:42
  Speaker 2: eye contact like he really effing hates me, and it's unsettling.
• 1:09:45
  Speaker 1: In my gut, it feels so wrong.
• 1:09:48
  Speaker 2: As a result, I've greatly reduced my contact with my
• 1:09:50
  Speaker 2: sister and brother-in-law.
• 1:09:51
  Speaker 1: However.
• 1:09:52
  Speaker 2: But due to family stuff, we see each other, you know,
• 1:09:54
  Speaker 2: once in a while. Fast forward to recently. Brother-in-law organized
• 1:09:57
  Speaker 2: a family resort stay. It covered everyone's expenses except, yeah,
• 1:10:00
  Speaker 2: you guessed it, mine. Of course, I wasn't going to go,
• 1:10:03
  Speaker 2: but my mom literally begged me because she wanted me there.
• 1:10:06
  Speaker 2: So my mother covered my expenses and I told her
• 1:10:08
  Speaker 2: I'd be going only for her. The resort itself was amazing,
• 1:10:12
  Speaker 2: but on day one, I felt a bit lightheaded at
• 1:10:14
  Speaker 2: the beach towards the evening. I went up to my
• 1:10:16
  Speaker 2: room to just rest a little. Around five minutes later,
• 1:10:18
  Speaker 2: brother-in-law came and stood at the door and asked why
• 1:10:20
  Speaker 2: I left.
• 1:10:21
  Speaker 5: Uh, see? He's so obsessed with you.
• 1:10:25
  Speaker 2: The fact that you left five minutes and he's like,
• 1:10:27
  Speaker 2: let me go check on her.
• 1:10:28
  Speaker 4: He noticed.
• 1:10:28
  Speaker 5: He was like, oh shoot, she's not feeling well.
• 1:10:30
  Speaker 6: I have to go check on her and bully her
• 1:10:32
  Speaker 6: because I'm in love with her and I don't know
• 1:10:34
  Speaker 6: how to handle my feelings.
• 1:10:35
  Speaker 2: I want to bully her with my mouth to mouth.
• 1:10:38
  Speaker 6: And that's why the mom said, think about how your
• 1:10:41
  Speaker 6: sister must be feeling.
• 1:10:42
  Speaker 2: I told him, it's none of his business. business he
• 1:10:45
  Speaker 2: said it is his business and that i'm ruining the
• 1:10:47
  Speaker 2: vibes of my moodiness i asked him why he's looking
• 1:10:50
  Speaker 2: for me anyway and he got really pissed and he
• 1:10:52
  Speaker 2: said he's not looking for me and to get over
• 1:10:54
  Speaker 2: myself the following day i started hanging out with a
• 1:10:56
  Speaker 2: woman i had met the night before we quickly became
• 1:10:58
  Speaker 2: friends and she was super sweet i was telling my
• 1:11:01
  Speaker 2: cousin about it and brother-in-law overheard when i said i
• 1:11:03
  Speaker 2: made a new friend he said who's he.
• 1:11:05
  Speaker 5: Oh dude oh Oh, why do you care? You need
• 1:11:09
  Speaker 5: to go on a date, OP, because this man is
• 1:11:11
  Speaker 5: going to go crazy.
• 1:11:12
  Speaker 1: He's going goo goo.
• 1:11:13
  Speaker 5: The second that you go on a date with a man,
• 1:11:15
  Speaker 5: he's going to be like, who is he?
• 1:11:16
  Speaker 4: He looks like he sucks. He looks stupid.
• 1:11:18
  Speaker 2: Who is that man I see? I was like, it's
• 1:11:23
  Speaker 2: a woman, dude. He said, oh, you're into women, too.
• 1:11:27
  Speaker 2: Of course you are. I was like, what the F
• 1:11:28
  Speaker 2: are you talking about? I literally only befriended her. Even
• 1:11:31
  Speaker 2: my cousin laughed at how absurd it was and defended me.
• 1:11:34
  Speaker 2: From that point onwards, I decided to 100% ignore him.
• 1:11:38
  Speaker 2: And this clearly made him angrier. My sister also grew
• 1:11:41
  Speaker 2: even more distant and would ignore me a lot.
• 1:11:44
  Speaker 5: Because she's jealous that her husband's.
• 1:11:45
  Speaker 4: In love with you.
• 1:11:46
  Speaker 2: Yeah, because guess what? She's getting zero attention from him.
• 1:11:49
  Speaker 5: Because he's spending all his time bothering you.
• 1:11:52
  Speaker 1: It was so... weird and terrible.
• 1:11:54
  Speaker 2: I cried to my mom that I'm going home early
• 1:11:56
  Speaker 2: because I can't stand all this bullying. She begged me
• 1:11:59
  Speaker 2: to stay, and so I told myself I'd just survive
• 1:12:02
  Speaker 2: a few more days and never speak to brother-in-law again.
• 1:12:04
  Speaker 2: A few days later, a bunch of us were playing
• 1:12:06
  Speaker 2: board games. Family members and friends we made, like I
• 1:12:09
  Speaker 2: brought along my new friend. I went to the kitchen,
• 1:12:11
  Speaker 2: and brother-in-law followed me in a few minutes later. I
• 1:12:13
  Speaker 2: felt uncomfortable, but ignored him, and I could tell from
• 1:12:15
  Speaker 2: the corner of my eye he was staring at me.
• 1:12:18
  Speaker 2: I have this tick where I hum a melody when
• 1:12:20
  Speaker 2: I'm nervous, and he said, I make you nervous. I
• 1:12:22
  Speaker 2: didn't reply and just grabbed my drink and walked out.
• 1:12:25
  Speaker 2: When we sat back down, brother-in-law clapped to get everyone's
• 1:12:27
  Speaker 2: attention and said, Can we have a round of applause
• 1:12:29
  Speaker 2: for OP? She smelled awful yesterday, but today, she actually
• 1:12:32
  Speaker 2: put on perfume!
• 1:12:33
  Speaker 1: And I go, Thanks for noticing.
• 1:12:35
  Speaker 5: Why are you smelling me so much?
• 1:12:37
  Speaker 1: And I go, smell y'all later. I'm walking out.
• 1:12:39
  Speaker 5: Yeah, bye.
• 1:12:40
  Speaker 2: There was some awkward laughter and someone just said, that's
• 1:12:42
  Speaker 2: effed up.
• 1:12:43
  Speaker 5: That's so awkward. You're just like, the whole table's like, eh.
• 1:12:47
  Speaker 2: And then someone just goes, that's effed up.
• 1:12:49
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Shout out to that person who said that's effed up.
• 1:12:51
  Speaker 1: Was it your friend, your new friend?
• 1:12:52
  Speaker 5: Yeah, maybe it was the new friend. She was like.
• 1:12:54
  Speaker 2: I felt so humiliated and said that I don't smell
• 1:12:56
  Speaker 2: and he's lying. I have high hygiene standards and I'm
• 1:12:59
  Speaker 2: literally a perfume regular user.
• 1:13:01
  Speaker 1: So it was bad.
• 1:13:02
  Speaker 2: Bs he waved his hand in front of his nose
• 1:13:05
  Speaker 2: and scrunched it and said yeah you definitely did such.
• 1:13:09
  Speaker 6: A child op and then you go oh oh i
• 1:13:13
  Speaker 6: wasn't even around you yesterday so you must have like
• 1:13:16
  Speaker 6: really sought me out to smell me.
• 1:13:17
  Speaker 2: Yeah hey you want to smell me i'll get up
• 1:13:18
  Speaker 2: real close to you yeah smell me i got up
• 1:13:21
  Speaker 2: and walked out and never felt so humiliated in my
• 1:13:23
  Speaker 2: life i cried that night in my room and my
• 1:13:26
  Speaker 2: new friend came to check on.
• 1:13:27
  Speaker 6: Me this is so sad because i feel like.
• 1:13:29
  Speaker 2: Unfortunately Just over Opie's head every time.
• 1:13:31
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 1:13:32
  Speaker 6: Well, it's just like bullying tends to work best on
• 1:13:35
  Speaker 6: people who don't know how to defend themselves. And that's
• 1:13:38
  Speaker 6: why the bullies pick on that person because it's like
• 1:13:40
  Speaker 6: they are like, oh, well, I don't know how to
• 1:13:42
  Speaker 6: defend myself. And the bully's like, ah, I can exploit this.
• 1:13:46
  Speaker 6: And unfortunately, OP, you really, the best way to deal
• 1:13:49
  Speaker 6: with this is not to say, no, I don't, or
• 1:13:51
  Speaker 6: like go cry to someone. It's literally just to not
• 1:13:54
  Speaker 6: let him know that any of this faces you. And yeah,
• 1:13:56
  Speaker 6: it really sucks that no one's defending you, but he
• 1:13:59
  Speaker 6: wouldn't stop even if someone did defend you.
• 1:14:01
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:14:01
  Speaker 5: Unfortunately.
• 1:14:02
  Speaker 2: A little bit left here, let's go ahead and finish
• 1:14:03
  Speaker 2: it up. So, Opie continues saying, I explained everything to her,
• 1:14:06
  Speaker 2: and she agreed that it's all deeply effed up. But,
• 1:14:10
  Speaker 2: she's 1000% convinced that my brother-in-law is weirdly obsessed with me,
• 1:14:14
  Speaker 2: and that my sister knows, but doesn't want to face
• 1:14:16
  Speaker 2: the truth.
• 1:14:17
  Speaker 1: This new person that you just met is just like,
• 1:14:19
  Speaker 1: I clocked it.
• 1:14:19
  Speaker 6: It's so it's so easy to see it when you're
• 1:14:22
  Speaker 6: outside of the situation. And she's like, yeah, I've been
• 1:14:24
  Speaker 6: here one day, but he's in love with you.
• 1:14:26
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:14:27
  Speaker 2: I told her that none of this is my fault
• 1:14:29
  Speaker 2: and I don't understand why I'm being punished.
• 1:14:30
  Speaker 5: Oh, he you're not.
• 1:14:33
  Speaker 6: I wish you could hear me. I wish you could
• 1:14:34
  Speaker 6: hear me right now. You're not being like it's not
• 1:14:37
  Speaker 6: your fault. You're not being punished for anything that you've done.
• 1:14:41
  Speaker 6: He's just a loser and is obsessed with you and
• 1:14:44
  Speaker 6: doesn't know how to be an adult and tell you feelings.
• 1:14:46
  Speaker 6: So he's just going to take it out on you
• 1:14:48
  Speaker 6: and you have to ignore it.
• 1:14:52
  Speaker 5: I agree.
• 1:14:52
  Speaker 1: This new friend knows what's up. Listen to the new friend.
• 1:15:08
  Speaker 3: Can we have her on the show?
• 1:15:09
  Speaker 4: I'd love to have her on the show.
• 1:15:10
  Speaker 5: She's great.
• 1:15:11
  Speaker 1: Yeah. And that is the end of that story.
• 1:15:13
  Speaker 6: No.
• 1:15:14
  Speaker 4: No.
• 1:15:15
  Speaker 5: I'm checking.
• 1:15:15
  Speaker 4: I'm checking. I'm checking. Please, please, please, please.
• 1:15:17
  Speaker 5: I'm upset. OP didn't learn anything.
• 1:15:20
  Speaker 1: This guy likes you. He like really, really likes you.
• 1:15:22
  Speaker 5: And you need to make fun of him for that.
• 1:15:24
  Speaker 5: 25 days ago.
• 1:15:25
  Speaker 1: Oh. Are there any comments saying... Yeah, the guy likes you.
• 1:15:29
  Speaker 3: This person, like, they privated their, like, freaking messages and stuff.
• 1:15:33
  Speaker 4: I hate that.
• 1:15:34
  Speaker 1: Because you're like, you posted on the internet, but you
• 1:15:36
  Speaker 1: don't want us to talk to you?
• 1:15:37
  Speaker 5: You don't want us to talk to you?
• 1:15:38
  Speaker 2: And that's the end of this story.