Latest / Love You Moore with Willie Moore Jr. / Tiffany Wilson EXPOSES the Hidden Pain of Women in Ministry, Divorce, Church Hurt & Calling

Transcript

Tiffany Wilson EXPOSES the Hidden Pain of Women in Ministry, Divorce, Church Hurt & Calling · Love You Moore with Willie Moore Jr.

0:00
[SPEAKER_06]: Let people tell it, I'm too pretty to be a preacher, but what does a preacher look like?
0:06
[SPEAKER_06]: Yeah.
0:06
[SPEAKER_06]: Being a woman in ministry is a difficult period.
0:08
[SPEAKER_06]: Even now, like my media team on Sunday mornings, they have to flag certain words because people are coming to the comments, be like, Paul said, for women to be silent, women shouldn't breach all of these different things.
0:21
[SPEAKER_06]: And so, but the thing is,
0:24
[SPEAKER_06]: God has always endorsed women in leadership.
0:26
[SPEAKER_06]: I went to go preach somewhere, and it was maybe about an hour from my house.
0:30
[SPEAKER_06]: And so I'm preaching people being set free, delivered, powerful service.
0:35
[SPEAKER_06]: It just how happens to be Valentine's day on the Sunday.
0:39
[SPEAKER_03]: Absolutely.
0:40
[SPEAKER_03]: I'm sorry.
0:40
[SPEAKER_06]: Y'all come back to think I was said to you, come here, come here, yeah.
0:47
[SPEAKER_06]: It's so, he,
0:48
[SPEAKER_06]: He says after service, the bishop, he says, I'm all gonna go out to eat.
0:52
[SPEAKER_06]: So I'm like, okay, certainly, you know that's a church, culture thing, we eat after service.
0:57
[SPEAKER_06]: So they say, you know, everybody's gonna meet, I'm driving, so he's like, this is the address, everybody's gonna meet.
1:01
[SPEAKER_06]: I get there and it is a lovey-dovey restaurant with all of these decorations, and it's just me, a bishop!
1:13
[SPEAKER_03]: When you're going to do that type of situation,
1:18
[SPEAKER_03]: How did that did it ever change your view of how you view quote unquote men of God?
1:23
[SPEAKER_06]: I got, I came to the realization, everybody's not saved.
1:29
[SPEAKER_06]: When the divorce happened, I was shattered.
1:32
[SPEAKER_06]: I was completely shattered.
1:33
[SPEAKER_06]: I couldn't get out of bed for two months.
1:37
[SPEAKER_06]: I probably just stopped crying maybe a month ago, like just in full transparency of the show, like,
1:44
[SPEAKER_06]: You know, it's it just it shattered me and so for me I think in the middle of going through their divorce I was also building a church.
1:56
[SPEAKER_03]: Hey, welcome to all my love you more friends and family members.
1:59
[SPEAKER_03]: We love you, flat out family.
2:01
[SPEAKER_03]: Here's the thing, I'm so grateful for the opportunity to hang out with you today.
2:05
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2:09
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2:12
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2:22
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3:09
[SPEAKER_03]: Now, it's time for the episode.
3:11
[SPEAKER_03]: Let's go.
3:11
[SPEAKER_02]: More love you more podcast after this.
3:15
[SPEAKER_01]: every day, people are forced to make impossible choices.
3:18
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3:51
[SPEAKER_03]: I wanna encourage you to go now.
3:54
[SPEAKER_03]: Flat out.
3:58
[SPEAKER_03]: And the family audience, the Willie Mojoon, your show, love you more show.
4:03
[SPEAKER_03]: I'm so honored for the opportunity.
4:04
[SPEAKER_03]: Today's guest that we get the opportunity to sit down with is somebody that I started on Instagram, scrolling, and she kept popping up.
4:12
[SPEAKER_03]: And she wasn't popping up, skimpy dressed, dancing, or twerking, anything like that.
4:18
[SPEAKER_03]: She was actually praying, and prophesied.
4:20
[SPEAKER_03]: And I said, wow, I heard that voice, and I said, there's only one way that God could
4:28
[SPEAKER_03]: Now, I don't want to hear it all about it online.
4:31
[SPEAKER_03]: I would love to sit down with you.
4:33
[SPEAKER_03]: So, I went on ahead and tapped in with properties.
4:36
[SPEAKER_03]: Tiffany Wilson.
4:37
[SPEAKER_03]: And she decided that she would come on and love you more, show.
4:40
[SPEAKER_03]: I'm so honored for the opportunity to hang out with her.
4:43
[SPEAKER_03]: Tiff, what's happening, Seth?
4:45
[SPEAKER_06]: Nothing much.
4:45
[SPEAKER_06]: I'm so glad to be here.
4:47
[SPEAKER_06]: This is a beautiful opportunity, and I was scrolling down looking at your show and it's so impactful to people, and it's something that's definitely necessary.
4:56
[SPEAKER_03]: And, Dee, so when we see Tiffany online, we see that you prophesied, that you preach it, that you teach it, and you're giving so much encouragement to so many people across the world, what did Tiffany wanna do before God tugged her and said you're going this way?
5:10
[SPEAKER_06]: Certainly not preach.
5:12
[SPEAKER_06]: I love it.
5:13
[SPEAKER_06]: Certainly not.
5:14
[SPEAKER_06]: They're really not preach.
5:16
[SPEAKER_06]: Yeah.
5:16
[SPEAKER_06]: No.
5:16
[SPEAKER_06]: No.
5:17
[SPEAKER_06]: So for me.
5:21
[SPEAKER_06]: One, I'm a multi-dimensional woman, right?
5:23
[SPEAKER_06]: I am a pastor, I am a prophetic voice, a motivational voice, but I am also a singer and songwriter.
5:33
[SPEAKER_06]: And prior to preaching, prior to accepting my call to ministry, I was heavily all about music.
5:40
[SPEAKER_06]: I mean, you couldn't tell me I wasn't gonna be the next Beyonce.
5:44
[SPEAKER_06]: Really?
5:44
[SPEAKER_06]: You sing like this?
5:45
[SPEAKER_06]: I mean, that thing.
5:46
[SPEAKER_06]: I mean, that thing, my soul.
5:48
[SPEAKER_06]: Yeah.
5:51
[SPEAKER_06]: producer, Joe Flipp Wilson, and he introduced me to Nissan Stewart from so seekers.
5:57
[SPEAKER_06]: And he was at the time, this was early 2000s, he was the MD for everybody.
6:02
[SPEAKER_06]: Yes.
6:03
[SPEAKER_06]: So he put me on to a lot of background engagements for R&B and rap artist.
6:10
[SPEAKER_06]: So I was doing the background thing for a minute and so funny because me and Nissan, we would be there and everybody be in the next room.
6:19
[SPEAKER_06]: smoke and weed and carry on and me and Nissan would just be there like yeah we not never doing that but um and just to see fast forward how both of us are pastors.
6:29
[SPEAKER_06]: I just thought that was really crazy but I thought I was going to be in R&B.
6:32
[SPEAKER_06]: So both of you guys are now pastors.
6:35
[SPEAKER_06]: Yes, it's so funny.
6:36
[SPEAKER_06]: We had a conversation.
6:38
[SPEAKER_06]: I was like, Nissan, what in the world?
6:40
[SPEAKER_06]: How is it that we're in these rooms on these stages?
6:43
[SPEAKER_06]: And now both of us are pastoring churches.
6:46
[SPEAKER_06]: And I just think it's so amazing.
6:47
[SPEAKER_06]: Because you never know the journey God is going to take you.
6:50
[SPEAKER_06]: And sometimes you have to go through the journey.
6:52
[SPEAKER_06]: A lot of people had issues with me doing the background and doing the secular music.
6:59
[SPEAKER_06]: But I really do believe it was a part of my journey to get me where I'm at today.
7:02
[SPEAKER_03]: And then, so when you're playing the background, you get an opportunity to see it differently than those who play the front.
7:08
[SPEAKER_03]: What did you learn from serving?
7:10
[SPEAKER_03]: I often say the greatest among us who serve, right?
7:13
[SPEAKER_03]: Most of the background singers that I see, they actually became some of the biggest stars whether it's in gospel music or whether it's in secular music.
7:19
[SPEAKER_03]: Like what were some of the things that you learned just viewing things from the background?
7:23
[SPEAKER_06]: Well, one thing in the secular world, I'm not sure really in the gospel.
7:27
[SPEAKER_06]: I only sang background for Kimberrell once in the ambitia pizzerkai Walker.
7:31
[SPEAKER_06]: But in the secular world, you can be rehearsal all day.
7:37
[SPEAKER_06]: And so they are sticklers about having the performance perfect.
7:43
[SPEAKER_06]: reaching the place of perfection.
7:45
[SPEAKER_06]: And I think that was something that I was able to carry into my journey of hosting conferences and preaching and just doing excellence is so important.
7:53
[SPEAKER_06]: Your first presentation is the last in presentation.
7:56
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
7:57
[SPEAKER_03]: And so you go through this music journey and then you get tricked and called to ministry.
8:03
[SPEAKER_03]: What was that call like?
8:04
[SPEAKER_03]: And how long has it been since you've been
8:10
[SPEAKER_06]: Okay, so I grew up in church, right?
8:13
[SPEAKER_06]: Okay, so my father was the minister of music at the church that I attended and my mom was the lead singer of the choir and my pastor actually had raised my dad since he was eight.
8:25
[SPEAKER_06]: So I grew up heavily involved in church.
8:28
[SPEAKER_06]: So when it came,
8:30
[SPEAKER_06]: The hand of God has always been on my life.
8:33
[SPEAKER_06]: My first prophetic utterance I was 10 years old.
8:35
[SPEAKER_06]: Right.
8:36
[SPEAKER_06]: I was 15.
8:37
[SPEAKER_06]: I'll never forget.
8:38
[SPEAKER_06]: I was getting ready for school when I told my mom.
8:40
[SPEAKER_06]: I said I saw in the shower vision.
8:42
[SPEAKER_06]: Your mom's getting ready to die.
8:44
[SPEAKER_06]: You know, so like this has been a gift that's been on me for some time.
8:49
[SPEAKER_06]: So and even when I was in the secular world, I was still ministering to people.
8:54
[SPEAKER_06]: Right.
8:54
[SPEAKER_06]: I never forget I was completely and I don't have language to even explain how it happened, but I was completely on the other side, like just kind of doing me and I laid hands on an eight-year-old girl.
9:07
[SPEAKER_06]: She started speaking a tongue and was filled the Holy Ghost.
9:09
[SPEAKER_06]: And I wouldn't even in right position.
9:11
[SPEAKER_06]: So it's just, it's, it's, the call was always on my life.
9:14
[SPEAKER_06]: So the transition wasn't really hard per se.
9:18
[SPEAKER_06]: I
9:18
[SPEAKER_06]: But I think for me, the biggest thing was battling with is it going to be music or ministry?
9:26
[SPEAKER_06]: My god, that fight.
9:28
[SPEAKER_06]: Okay, because I was determined to be something more than where I was at.
9:32
[SPEAKER_06]: You know, I was like, I can't let go of this.
9:34
[SPEAKER_06]: I can't let go of these friends in this world.
9:37
[SPEAKER_06]: I can't let go of this because what am I and see when the Lord started dealing with me, there was a deal on the table at Columbia for me to be the lead singer of a girl group.
9:46
[SPEAKER_06]: And so I never forget the Lord woke me up at the same time three days in a row and said do not take the deal.
9:54
[SPEAKER_06]: And so I'm like, well, what we doing if I'm not taking the deal, where I'm going, so I didn't take the deal and he said now go work at AT&T.
10:01
[SPEAKER_06]: I said I beg your pardon Jesus.
10:04
[SPEAKER_06]: He said go work at AT&T.
10:06
[SPEAKER_06]: Now you have to understand in the early 2000s.
10:08
[SPEAKER_06]: I was getting like $1,500 a gig and going to work at AT&T.
10:13
[SPEAKER_06]: That's like $300 a week.
10:15
[SPEAKER_06]: And so I had to really trust God in during that time.
10:18
[SPEAKER_06]: I went on a three year consecration.
10:21
[SPEAKER_06]: I wasn't with no friends.
10:23
[SPEAKER_06]: I wasn't watching TV.
10:25
[SPEAKER_06]: It was just me and God and not even to preach because it never crossed my mind.
10:29
[SPEAKER_06]: I was supposed to preach.
10:31
[SPEAKER_06]: But just to be in alignment, right?
10:33
[SPEAKER_06]: Sometimes it's not a platform.
10:34
[SPEAKER_06]: It's like, listen, I don't want to go through life and be out of alignment.
10:38
[SPEAKER_06]: And so I'll never forget maybe a year into my consecration.
10:42
[SPEAKER_06]: I went to a profit-tot hall service.
10:44
[SPEAKER_06]: I don't know if you're familiar with Profit.com.
10:46
[SPEAKER_06]: I've heard his name.
10:47
[SPEAKER_06]: And he's one of the first to do it.
10:51
[SPEAKER_06]: Yeah.
10:51
[SPEAKER_06]: And he called me out and he said he started repeating the conversation I was having in the car about not knowing what my purpose was and just kind of feeling lost.
11:02
[SPEAKER_06]: And he said to me if you've ever seen my ministry, how would it feel to surpass me in the next few years?
11:08
[SPEAKER_05]: And so I'm like surpass you doing what they're like Tiffany.
11:11
[SPEAKER_06]: He sings, he prophesies, he breaches, you know it.
11:15
[SPEAKER_06]: And I'm like the, uh, the next day I got a call to preach.
11:19
[SPEAKER_06]: And I wasn't even preacher.
11:21
[SPEAKER_06]: And so I went and you could feel the power of God in the room.
11:25
[SPEAKER_06]: And I'm still like, God, what's happening?
11:27
[SPEAKER_06]: Because let people tell it, I'm too pretty to be a preacher.
11:31
[SPEAKER_06]: You know, but what does a preacher look like?
11:33
[SPEAKER_06]: So as I was going to my car, the Lord said to me, he said, keep reading and I'll keep speaking.
11:38
[SPEAKER_06]: And from that day forward, I've been preaching on the road for 18 years.
11:41
[SPEAKER_03]: 18 years 18 years.
11:43
[SPEAKER_03]: How difficult is it for for a woman in this space, you know, full transparency, similar story, had to be a part of me to me too.
11:53
[SPEAKER_03]: But of course, I'm signing a universal records as this guy that he pretty willy and then I take a new deal with one of brothers.
11:59
[SPEAKER_03]: I'm living in Los Angeles.
12:00
[SPEAKER_03]: I'm opening up for DJ Quick.
12:01
[SPEAKER_03]: I got this song called Lady Body Down and four walls is blowing
12:10
[SPEAKER_03]: The Lord challenges me after a show at the House of Blues.
12:14
[SPEAKER_03]: We all out on the balcony.
12:15
[SPEAKER_03]: I'm blowing some per usual.
12:18
[SPEAKER_03]: And I hit the Lord say your way, I'm my way.
12:20
[SPEAKER_03]: And I go back into the room with all of my team, girls, everything in there.
12:26
[SPEAKER_03]: And I go in what I now know to be prophesied.
12:29
[SPEAKER_03]: Let them know what I say in the spirit.
12:31
[SPEAKER_03]: And that's like, man, every time he get happy, he turned in the current Franklin, all the glory.
12:36
[SPEAKER_03]: You feel like blood's earning the card for him every time.
12:39
[SPEAKER_03]: But then I wouldn't work out.
12:40
[SPEAKER_03]: That's always been my regimen in the morning, no matter what we were doing in my friend Lewis.
12:44
[SPEAKER_03]: He came downstairs and he's a church boy.
12:46
[SPEAKER_03]: I always had church dudes around me because they had the best musicians to be quite honest.
12:50
[SPEAKER_03]: And he said, what you did last night, man, that's prophesying, bro.
12:54
[SPEAKER_03]: And if God really told you to do that, I'm with you.
12:57
[SPEAKER_03]: Like they may not understand.
12:58
[SPEAKER_03]: They might understand what I felt last night.
13:00
[SPEAKER_03]: Nothing's something's on you.
13:01
[SPEAKER_03]: And then, you know, I was able to,
13:04
[SPEAKER_03]: leave kicking and screaming right one of the brothers called and just say hey we decided to go in the new direction I'm like y'all don't give me that little money that gave me that little money I went back to St. Louis and I started this young flying side movement So similar stories and so for me it was very difficult because I didn't understand charts in lingo like we got ball caps on T-shirts And I just like yeah, we gonna give it to the youth the way we're gonna give it but I can only imagine what that's like being a pretty woman going into ministry
13:31
[SPEAKER_03]: How hard or easy has it been for you in these last 18 years?
13:35
[SPEAKER_06]: Well.
13:36
[SPEAKER_06]: whether you're a ugly woman or a pretty woman, you know, woman period, you know, and of course I'm being funny when I say, yeah, you know, no bad.
13:43
[SPEAKER_06]: Yeah, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
13:46
[SPEAKER_06]: But being a woman in ministry is a difficult period.
13:49
[SPEAKER_06]: Even now, like my media team on Sunday mornings, they have to like flag certain words because people are coming to the comments, be like, Paul said for women to be silent, you know, women shouldn't breach all of these different things.
14:01
[SPEAKER_06]: And so, but the thing is,
14:04
[SPEAKER_06]: God has always endorsed women in leadership.
14:07
[SPEAKER_06]: And so I think the biggest thing for me has been, my authority is constantly questioned, right?
14:14
[SPEAKER_06]: I think that's one big area for me, whether or not I should be preaching, whether or not I should be pro.
14:21
[SPEAKER_06]: Videos, 2 million views, 400,000 views, and you see ridiculous comments like, why is she preaching?
14:29
[SPEAKER_06]: Why are you preaching?
14:30
[SPEAKER_06]: Why are you pro?
14:32
[SPEAKER_06]: This person is being set free.
14:34
[SPEAKER_06]: Cycles are breaking off their life.
14:35
[SPEAKER_06]: Islam is coming off their life.
14:37
[SPEAKER_06]: But the fact that I got jeans on as a woman, prophesying and preaching.
14:42
[SPEAKER_06]: So I think that the authority being challenged is one thing.
14:46
[SPEAKER_06]: And then I've had all kinds of challenges, even just even in ministering, not just for people online, but even like,
14:56
[SPEAKER_06]: I've gone to preach and I've had to change in the bathroom and not in the pastor's office.
15:03
[SPEAKER_06]: This thing still exists.
15:04
[SPEAKER_06]: I've had to change in the bathroom and not the pastor's office and preach from the floor because I was a woman.
15:10
[SPEAKER_06]: Oh, wow.
15:10
[SPEAKER_06]: Yeah, like this is a thing still.
15:13
[SPEAKER_06]: Maybe about 15 years ago.
15:16
[SPEAKER_06]: And then of course the occasional, I don't want to call them weirdos, but like,
15:23
[SPEAKER_06]: the occasional, um, you good?
15:28
[SPEAKER_06]: So, um, like, I'm a catcher.
15:31
[SPEAKER_06]: I think you're a good, you're a good, you're a good.
15:33
[SPEAKER_06]: Because I went to go preach one time and see, this is where I made the decision to stop going by myself.
15:39
[SPEAKER_06]: I said, if you want me to come, somebody got to come with me.
15:42
[SPEAKER_06]: Yeah.
15:43
[SPEAKER_06]: I don't care where I'm going.
15:44
[SPEAKER_06]: You see, deal over there.
15:45
[SPEAKER_06]: Somebody's coming with me because I went to go preach somewhere and it was maybe about an hour from my house.
15:50
[SPEAKER_06]: and so I'm preaching people being set free, delivered, powerful service.
15:56
[SPEAKER_06]: It just happens to be Valentine's Day on the Sunday.
15:59
[SPEAKER_06]: That's so funny.
16:00
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, I'll come back to figure out what Cindy's coming.
16:03
[SPEAKER_06]: Yeah, it's so, um, he,
16:08
[SPEAKER_06]: He, he says after service the bishop, he says, I'm all going to go out to eat.
16:12
[SPEAKER_06]: Some like, okay, certainly, you know, that's a church culture thing.
16:16
[SPEAKER_06]: We eat after service.
16:17
[SPEAKER_06]: Yeah.
16:17
[SPEAKER_06]: So he said, you know, everybody's going to meet.
16:19
[SPEAKER_06]: I'm driving.
16:19
[SPEAKER_06]: So he's like, this is the address.
16:20
[SPEAKER_06]: Everybody's going to meet.
16:22
[SPEAKER_06]: I get there.
16:22
[SPEAKER_06]: And it is a lovely, W restaurant with all of these decorations.
16:30
[SPEAKER_06]: And it's just me, a bishop.
16:33
[SPEAKER_06]: So, I sat down and see, I come from a background where I've been taught to speak up.
16:39
[SPEAKER_06]: Yeah.
16:40
[SPEAKER_06]: I don't, we speak up.
16:41
[SPEAKER_06]: I can see that.
16:42
[SPEAKER_06]: Yeah, my mom, if you met my mom, let me tell you something.
16:45
[SPEAKER_06]: We've, I've been taught to speak up.
16:47
[SPEAKER_06]: So, I get there, so I'm like, okay, I said, so Bishop, is everyone else coming?
16:52
[SPEAKER_06]: So he's like, no, everybody else decided to stay behind.
16:56
[SPEAKER_06]: So I'm sitting there for a moment.
16:59
[SPEAKER_06]: I said, well, thank you so much for having me, Bishop, I'm gonna go ahead.
17:01
[SPEAKER_06]: So I leave.
17:03
[SPEAKER_06]: He's like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, you know, because they don't expect women to be vocal.
17:07
[SPEAKER_06]: Yeah.
17:07
[SPEAKER_06]: So I get up and leave.
17:10
[SPEAKER_06]: So as I'm driving, he starts texting me, nonstop, a nonstop, a nonstop.
17:17
[SPEAKER_06]: It's to the point where I had to say,
17:23
[SPEAKER_06]: period.
17:24
[SPEAKER_06]: Yeah.
17:24
[SPEAKER_06]: No, this ain't about no bishop.
17:26
[SPEAKER_06]: This is a man and a woman stop texting me because you're out of order and you're going over the line.
17:31
[SPEAKER_06]: And so it's really about when you're a woman in ministry, you have to be able to find your voice.
17:35
[SPEAKER_06]: This is how people are raped.
17:38
[SPEAKER_06]: This is how women get into uncomfortable situations that they can't get out of because they've not been taught to be vocal.
17:46
[SPEAKER_06]: And so I raise and train women to speak up.
17:48
[SPEAKER_03]: Hey family, it's so important that you take the time and subscribe to this channel.
17:52
[SPEAKER_03]: Do it now.
17:53
[SPEAKER_03]: I wait good.
17:55
[SPEAKER_03]: Now back to the show.
17:56
[SPEAKER_03]: Fly that out of it.
17:57
[SPEAKER_03]: Got it.
17:58
[SPEAKER_03]: When you're going to do that type of situation, how did that did it ever change your view of how you view quote unquote mean of God?
18:10
[SPEAKER_06]: I'm going to be honest, because I came from a very strict background, and I was very shielded, right?
18:20
[SPEAKER_06]: We were my grandfather, he was powerful, and he was really saved.
18:27
[SPEAKER_06]: You could drive by a four clock in the morning on a Tuesday, and we'll see his car at the church, because he's fasting and praying at the church.
18:39
[SPEAKER_06]: a very pure background.
18:41
[SPEAKER_06]: So when I started preaching, I got, I came to the realization everybody's not saved.
18:48
[SPEAKER_06]: And I kind of was like, wait a minute.
18:51
[SPEAKER_06]: What's going on here?
18:52
[SPEAKER_06]: Everybody's not saying?
18:53
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
18:54
[SPEAKER_06]: Everybody's not seeking God, people are living in rebellion.
18:59
[SPEAKER_06]: Like this is a thing, like we're still preaching and saying, I'm still annoying it, but living in rebellion.
19:04
[SPEAKER_06]: Like that's something that you're not scared.
19:06
[SPEAKER_06]: You're gonna like, you must not have seen the things that I've seen in God to play with God and play in his face like that.
19:14
[SPEAKER_06]: So I think for me, I was very, very, very shocked.
19:18
[SPEAKER_06]: It was a culture shock when I started preaching.
19:20
[SPEAKER_03]: You know what I think when you have like a level of success in the mainstream world and then God allows you to get out, it's like you come in with such a pure heart because I can find better, more flowing ways to go to hell, right?
19:35
[SPEAKER_03]: Like for me, like I'd rather just be out hustling doing what I was doing.
19:38
[SPEAKER_03]: I'd rather just be drunk.
19:39
[SPEAKER_03]: I'd rather just like everything I did I did to the extreme.
19:42
[SPEAKER_03]: Right?
19:42
[SPEAKER_03]: So if we was on women, I won't all love them in the lobby.
19:45
[SPEAKER_03]: If we was drinking, I want to drink until it's all gone.
19:48
[SPEAKER_03]: So when we came in the Jesus, like I was fighting so hard to be like, yo, like what we doing bro, like we got to do this, this and this and we got to take over the world.
19:55
[SPEAKER_03]: And then I was able to connect with more men to allow my zeal to get some knowledge.
20:00
[SPEAKER_03]: So before I went out.
20:02
[SPEAKER_03]: And so when we wear this jersey for me, it's like when I, you're not the only woman that said in that seat.
20:09
[SPEAKER_03]: that let me know how difficult it was with men like overstepping their boundaries in the name of the Lord.
20:16
[SPEAKER_03]: And that's so disheartening for me because we want to raise men and say, hey, bro, like, let's really handle this jersey that we wear because I wear that jersey too, right?
20:27
[SPEAKER_03]: So even when working with you and just saying, hey, I'm like, oh, this is a DM.
20:30
[SPEAKER_03]: I'm like, I'm going to give you right to the meteor.
20:31
[SPEAKER_03]: Let me make sure we handle this correctly.
20:34
[SPEAKER_03]: only because I always want to wear that jersey like I want that jersey to be don't have no staying on it don't give me wrong like I I've done and I've done things that I'm not necessarily proud of but I do know that how difficult that can be when a woman has a call on their life
20:51
[SPEAKER_03]: And then a man comes in and kind of stands there.
20:54
[SPEAKER_03]: Case in point, I was in St. Louis with another prophetess and she's not married to one of my amazing brothers.
21:00
[SPEAKER_03]: And she told me some things about a prophet that I actually knew.
21:04
[SPEAKER_03]: And it wasn't my place, but that neighborhood came out of, I'm calling this nigga right now.
21:09
[SPEAKER_03]: That's all I can't call them right now.
21:11
[SPEAKER_03]: So I call them like, bro, like, I think we, like, let's make sure that we don't do that because you don't know how difficult you made it for her husband, because he's a prophet.
21:20
[SPEAKER_03]: And you're a profit and that happened right before she really got married.
21:25
[SPEAKER_03]: You know how difficult it was for this woman to trust that he wasn't pimping the gift to get in her draws.
21:33
[SPEAKER_03]: And he was like, man, I don't even remember that.
21:35
[SPEAKER_03]: I'm like, she does.
21:37
[SPEAKER_03]: Do you remember anything like that ever happening?
21:39
[SPEAKER_03]: It has happened again.
21:40
[SPEAKER_06]: Let's see.
21:40
[SPEAKER_06]: And then how many were there if you don't remember.
21:42
[SPEAKER_03]: Exactly.
21:43
[SPEAKER_03]: Exactly.
21:44
[SPEAKER_03]: So now, you know, as we kind of pivot the conversation, like, what does love look like?
21:50
[SPEAKER_03]: Were you ever married?
21:51
[SPEAKER_03]: Did you do you date man?
21:53
[SPEAKER_03]: Like, what does that look like?
21:55
[SPEAKER_06]: So I'm recently divorced.
21:57
[SPEAKER_06]: And
21:59
[SPEAKER_06]: when you talk about love right now, you know, divorce is terrible.
22:03
[SPEAKER_06]: It is when I mean, you know, it's so funny because I would counsel people that were divorced prior to divorce.
22:11
[SPEAKER_06]: And I'm like, now Tiffany, what was you talking about?
22:14
[SPEAKER_06]: Oh my God.
22:15
[SPEAKER_06]: So you was wrong and wrong.
22:17
[SPEAKER_06]: Still wrong.
22:18
[SPEAKER_06]: And I got so offended because one of my friends was like, would you tell in him?
22:25
[SPEAKER_06]: You don't know.
22:26
[SPEAKER_06]: And I was like, I'm anointed.
22:29
[SPEAKER_06]: You know, God speaks to me, you shut up.
22:32
[SPEAKER_06]: I know what I'm talking about.
22:33
[SPEAKER_06]: And now I'm like, oh my gosh, Tiffany, you were so strong and wrong and you owe them an apology.
22:40
[SPEAKER_06]: Divorce is terrible.
22:41
[SPEAKER_06]: It's so, so even the most amicable divorce is are terrible.
22:48
[SPEAKER_06]: You know, and so for me, I was divorced.
22:52
[SPEAKER_06]: I got divorced in 2025.
22:54
[SPEAKER_06]: So it's just hit a year.
22:56
[SPEAKER_03]: I didn't listen.
22:58
[SPEAKER_03]: Didn't know.
22:59
[SPEAKER_03]: Totally the lower conversation.
23:01
[SPEAKER_03]: This wasn't any who go ahead.
23:04
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
23:04
[SPEAKER_03]: They believe you happen.
23:05
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
23:05
[SPEAKER_06]: But yes, it's only, it's only been a year.
23:08
[SPEAKER_06]: And I can't even think.
23:10
[SPEAKER_06]: of dating someone, you know, right now.
23:13
[SPEAKER_06]: I don't, you know, more power to you when you get divorced and be married six months later, that's not, that's not going to be a tiff anything.
23:19
[SPEAKER_06]: You know, I'm saying, I believe in healing, I believe in restoration.
23:24
[SPEAKER_06]: And, you know, when you get married, you don't
23:28
[SPEAKER_06]: get married with the mindset of divorce.
23:32
[SPEAKER_06]: So, and my husband was my person.
23:36
[SPEAKER_06]: So, for me, you know, I just can't even process at this point in time, another person.
23:44
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
23:46
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
23:46
[SPEAKER_03]: What has been the hardest part in this year?
23:49
[SPEAKER_03]: You know, I believe in building a breeze through story.
23:52
[SPEAKER_03]: I remember the first year of separation.
23:55
[SPEAKER_03]: And I got another condo.
23:57
[SPEAKER_03]: And I have children, and I love my children, and I'm adopted.
24:01
[SPEAKER_03]: Like these are my first blood relatives that I had ever met.
24:04
[SPEAKER_03]: And the only thing I could think about is I want to make sure that these children are okay.
24:07
[SPEAKER_03]: And I remember sitting in the floor in the pool of tears.
24:11
[SPEAKER_03]: Right after I got all of lying, showing people that that guy's gonna do a guy's gonna do it.
24:16
[SPEAKER_03]: And I said it in the floor, I'm like, God, what when you're gonna do it for me?
24:20
[SPEAKER_03]: And I would ask Christian people like, hey, how's it, you know, like one of my supposed to do with my man, God gonna make it better on the other side of me.
24:26
[SPEAKER_03]: He gonna do it.
24:27
[SPEAKER_03]: I'm just like, if I ever get out this puddle.
24:30
[SPEAKER_03]: I'm gonna create a platform where people get the opportunity to share their transparent stories and create a safe space for those people who've been through hearts, habits, and hand-gups.
24:38
[SPEAKER_03]: It helps that if they scroll past and they go through that first year, that first few months, what things are really crazy emotionally, that they get a safe space.
24:47
[SPEAKER_03]: I always like to ask the question, in this last year, not so much about your partner, but what have you learned about yourself?
24:55
[SPEAKER_06]: So,
24:56
[SPEAKER_06]: It took, well first of all, when the divorce happened, I was shattered.
25:02
[SPEAKER_06]: I was completely shattered.
25:03
[SPEAKER_06]: I couldn't get out of bed for two months.
25:07
[SPEAKER_06]: Like I was an eating, I had lost 40 pounds.
25:11
[SPEAKER_06]: Like I was completely shattered.
25:15
[SPEAKER_06]: And so, but when you have a call, you don't have the luxury of crumbling.
25:22
[SPEAKER_06]: So I would be in bed, shattered, crying, and then have to take a call and encourage somebody and go back to crying.
25:29
[SPEAKER_06]: And I'm gonna be honest, you know, I probably just stopped crying maybe a month ago, like just in full transparency of the show.
25:38
[SPEAKER_06]: Like, you know, it just shattered me.
25:43
[SPEAKER_06]: And so for me, I think in the middle of going through
25:52
[SPEAKER_06]: So, and still preaching.
25:54
[SPEAKER_06]: So, I think the most difficult thing for me has been pressing past pain and untethering.
26:02
[SPEAKER_06]: Sometimes, and I know you understand this, I have to remember he's not my husband, right?
26:09
[SPEAKER_06]: Because we have to,
26:12
[SPEAKER_06]: dogs that we co-parent together and we also have a host of spiritual children that we you know have imparted into and still come around and they'll spend time with me and spend time with him and so you know I have to remember he's not my spouse anymore and it it takes that untethering, untethering together and and I think the same for him like he'll still message me and be like
26:37
[SPEAKER_06]: You know, don't forget to turn the water on, you know, it's cold tonight.
26:41
[SPEAKER_06]: Right.
26:41
[SPEAKER_06]: It's like, yeah.
26:43
[SPEAKER_06]: No one knows how to do divorce.
26:45
[SPEAKER_03]: You know, nobody knows.
26:47
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
26:48
[SPEAKER_03]: So I was giving mixed signals.
26:50
[SPEAKER_03]: And I don't really get into the minutia this because I never want to make it anything.
26:53
[SPEAKER_03]: I don't like to make it difficult for her.
26:55
[SPEAKER_03]: But I will say this.
26:56
[SPEAKER_03]: You guys can come on in.
26:56
[SPEAKER_03]: Come on.
26:57
[SPEAKER_03]: Like for everybody to move.
26:58
[SPEAKER_03]: It doesn't hurt me when you move.
27:00
[SPEAKER_03]: But I remember, I remember like,
27:03
[SPEAKER_03]: I'm still on I'm still going to the house because I'm going to make sure this isn't this and I'm like handling things but when I look back I could see how they could give a woman mixed signals that there's like some false hope because I'm like no like once once I've made my decision mentally and I've got peace and silence in my spirit like I'm going on down the road but I can actually be a little just a little too many.
27:24
[SPEAKER_03]: to care.
27:25
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
27:25
[SPEAKER_03]: I'm struggling to co-dependency all my life.
27:28
[SPEAKER_03]: So I'm always over his name myself, but not trying to, like, I'm not trying to, you know, make this thing back to what it used to be.
27:35
[SPEAKER_03]: So what do you do to cope with, like,
27:40
[SPEAKER_03]: Like, is he kind of, I don't mean like, or like, how do you, what is this?
27:44
[SPEAKER_03]: Like, do you, or is it counseling?
27:45
[SPEAKER_03]: Is it, like, because it's really fresh.
27:47
[SPEAKER_03]: I didn't know how fresh you were.
27:48
[SPEAKER_03]: I didn't even know you were divorced.
27:50
[SPEAKER_03]: Like, I knew you were divorced, but you know, I didn't know how fresh, et cetera, et cetera.
27:54
[SPEAKER_03]: Like, do, is it, is it a system that you're coming up with?
27:57
[SPEAKER_03]: Who encourages the, the properties?
27:59
[SPEAKER_03]: Right, right, who, who's safer enough to encourage the profits in all authenticity?
28:04
[SPEAKER_06]: Yeah, you know, I think, I think that's a loaded question.
28:10
[SPEAKER_06]: When it comes down to my, my ex husband is a very kind, very nice guy.
28:16
[SPEAKER_06]: So literally I have no sad story about my marriage and I think that's what makes it difficult.
28:23
[SPEAKER_06]: Because sometimes it's easier when you can be mad at somebody.
28:27
[SPEAKER_06]: Yeah.
28:28
[SPEAKER_06]: Right?
28:28
[SPEAKER_06]: Like it's easier when there's a cheat happening or an abuse happening.
28:33
[SPEAKER_06]: But sometimes life happens.
28:36
[SPEAKER_06]: And so when you have the sometimes life happens,
28:39
[SPEAKER_06]: It makes it very, very difficult, and so you can tell that there's love there, even if you see us interact, you'll be like, now why y'all divorce?
28:48
[SPEAKER_06]: You know, so I think it's just really establishing boundaries, like, you know, the conversation of, I'm moving on, you know, you're moving on.
28:57
[SPEAKER_06]: So setting up parameters and just trying to, nobody's ever been divorced, just trying to find
29:09
[SPEAKER_03]: preaching through.
29:10
[SPEAKER_03]: And so you don't have to deal with it.
29:12
[SPEAKER_06]: Oh, no, I'm intentional about dealing with it.
29:14
[SPEAKER_06]: So for me, when when it was really over, you know, because we had we had split and got back together.
29:21
[SPEAKER_06]: When it was really over.
29:22
[SPEAKER_06]: I committed my days to going to the Beltline and walking for three hours a day.
29:28
[SPEAKER_06]: And I would listen to divorce podcasts.
29:31
[SPEAKER_06]: And I was very, very intent because my background is in psych.
29:34
[SPEAKER_06]: So I was very, very intentional about.
29:39
[SPEAKER_06]: about coming out of that place in space and going through, you know, going through all of my stages and really getting to a place of, cause I'm not gonna lie.
29:49
[SPEAKER_06]: I was really struggling with acceptance because I'm like, now God, wait one minute.
29:54
[SPEAKER_06]: Now, you know, we've got all of these words about having children together.
29:59
[SPEAKER_06]: I know you not gonna let me get to 40 and be divorced with no children.
30:03
[SPEAKER_06]: This is a real conversation you have with God, like what is going on, you know?
30:08
[SPEAKER_06]: But God's plan is not always our plan, and his way is not always our way.
30:13
[SPEAKER_06]: And so you have to adapt with what God is doing.
30:16
[SPEAKER_06]: And so my way of adapting with what he was doing is going to that belt line and walking it out and listening to the podcast and really just processing my way through this.
30:26
[SPEAKER_03]: Got it.
30:27
[SPEAKER_03]: So was it a surprise for you or was that something you were kind of walking through and just saying I just ain't going to work.
30:36
[SPEAKER_06]: No, it was a surprise.
30:37
[SPEAKER_06]: It was a surprise.
30:38
[SPEAKER_06]: Well, God will never let me be surprised.
30:40
[SPEAKER_06]: So in 2024 I had a vision and in the vision I saw divorce and so I asked him I said,
30:47
[SPEAKER_06]: Hey, you playing it on a divorce?
30:49
[SPEAKER_06]: And he was like, no.
30:51
[SPEAKER_06]: And so I was like, oh, okay, cool.
30:52
[SPEAKER_06]: Because we were trying to conceive.
30:54
[SPEAKER_06]: So I'm like, okay, cool.
30:56
[SPEAKER_06]: But then fast forward a few months, a disconnect happened.
31:01
[SPEAKER_06]: And you have to understand, this was the perfect storm.
31:04
[SPEAKER_06]: Two years into our marriage, everyone important to my husband died.
31:10
[SPEAKER_06]: His mother passed away, his aunt, who we talked to every day, passed away to other aunts, and then we were passed during the church together, which that carries its own, you know, that's a whole other thing.
31:24
[SPEAKER_03]: He should tell me that's the hardest.
31:25
[SPEAKER_06]: That's hard, you know, and we were, you know, we didn't really have boundaries with that.
31:29
[SPEAKER_06]: We were bringing church home.
31:31
[SPEAKER_06]: And so then, you know, we had our own, you know, personal things that we probably
31:39
[SPEAKER_06]: therapy to deal with marital grievances, but also personal therapy, things that we personally needed to.
31:45
[SPEAKER_06]: So it was just all the perfect storm, you know, for it to just come crashing down.
31:52
[SPEAKER_06]: And so I think for me, I just, it was a surprise.
31:57
[SPEAKER_06]: I fasted for six months for my marriage.
32:00
[SPEAKER_06]: I literally fast it for six months.
32:02
[SPEAKER_06]: I wouldn't eat until six o'clock.
32:03
[SPEAKER_06]: I would pray all day for six months.
32:07
[SPEAKER_06]: And, but the truth of the matter is yes, something's come through fasting and praying, but other things come through fasting praying and therapy.
32:13
[SPEAKER_06]: And that was the portion that was missing.
32:16
[SPEAKER_03]: To do you think if therapy would have been there but something you could have navigated through?
32:20
[SPEAKER_06]: Possibly, but the thing about it is, who is the same after you go through transitions like that?
32:26
[SPEAKER_06]: Who's the same after they lose their mother?
32:28
[SPEAKER_06]: Who's the same after they lose so many pillars in their life?
32:32
[SPEAKER_06]: You know, I think maybe if early on we committed to it, but I think it got so out of hand, so fast.
32:40
[SPEAKER_06]: And then you had external factors as well.
32:43
[SPEAKER_06]: You had, you know, people with their opinions.
32:46
[SPEAKER_06]: There was a girl six months into the marriage that accused me of adultery with someone I don't even know.
32:52
[SPEAKER_06]: I had absolutely no no no no no phone number for them.
32:57
[SPEAKER_06]: No contact with them.
32:59
[SPEAKER_06]: I'm like you you serious?
33:01
[SPEAKER_06]: Yeah.
33:01
[SPEAKER_06]: You know, so we had it was a he was under a lot of pressure from people about me and my role.
33:06
[SPEAKER_06]: So I think it just it just didn't work.
33:08
[SPEAKER_03]: So are you two like both passed during co-past, you know?
33:11
[SPEAKER_06]: Yes, I was co-pastered.
33:12
[SPEAKER_03]: I was gonna say, because it doesn't seem like you're going where the first lady had with no big old head and just sit back and be quiet.
33:17
[SPEAKER_06]: And see, no, I'm never going to sit back and be quiet, but I think the open-up is in the list.
33:24
[SPEAKER_06]: I know it's not going to happen.
33:26
[SPEAKER_06]: No, the first of all, that's not even our culture.
33:29
[SPEAKER_06]: You see a woman from New York, from New Jersey, from Connecticut, we're not, we're moving a little different.
33:38
[SPEAKER_06]: I know who I am and I'm not, you know, there's nothing wrong with being that, you know, I look at something like, you all do that thing well, I really wish I could, but when you marry another leader, you know, I was born to be a leader, you know, I, I never forget on the show scandal, I heard something that resonated, but me.
33:57
[SPEAKER_06]: and someone may watch this and be like, she's so out of order, that's okay, you'll be all right.
34:02
[SPEAKER_06]: So Olivia Pope said to fit, for those that familiar with the show, he said, he was trying to make her first lady, and she said, I'm not a first lady, I'm a president.
34:14
[SPEAKER_06]: And see, that I've always been a president.
34:17
[SPEAKER_06]: I've never done that scene.
34:18
[SPEAKER_06]: She said, and it was intense, she said, I'm a president, and I've only, you're commercial.
34:25
[SPEAKER_03]: It was like, I'm a president, do you know me?
34:27
[SPEAKER_06]: I'm a president.
34:28
[SPEAKER_06]: And you know, so I have always been conditioned to be a leader.
34:34
[SPEAKER_06]: My parents raised me to be a leader.
34:36
[SPEAKER_06]: And don't get me wrong.
34:39
[SPEAKER_06]: I did very well in following.
34:41
[SPEAKER_06]: And he never stifled me.
34:43
[SPEAKER_06]: He never not wanted me to leave.
34:44
[SPEAKER_06]: Like he always was like, go ahead, go ahead.
34:47
[SPEAKER_06]: He'd be like, you know, babe, you want to preach?
34:48
[SPEAKER_06]: I mean, I know.
34:49
[SPEAKER_06]: Let me hype you up and you do it.
34:51
[SPEAKER_05]: You know?
34:52
[SPEAKER_06]: So, right.
34:52
[SPEAKER_06]: I feel like, come on, let me get the people hype and you go ahead and give them that word.
34:57
[SPEAKER_06]: And so I was, it worked till it didn't work.
35:01
[UNKNOWN]: Yeah.
35:02
[SPEAKER_03]: I want to tell you I'm proud of you.
35:03
[SPEAKER_03]: Thank you.
35:04
[SPEAKER_03]: I don't know if I had the strength to be able to share.
35:09
[SPEAKER_03]: And I'm so amazed at how poised you are to minister from the womb.
35:17
[SPEAKER_03]: Most people have to wait until everything is passed up to be able to create the words
35:26
[SPEAKER_03]: to share their store.
35:28
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, I'm very sensitive to it because I've been through it.
35:30
[SPEAKER_03]: And so I don't want to try.
35:31
[SPEAKER_03]: I don't want to make a viral moment.
35:33
[SPEAKER_03]: I want to make sure that I handle this opportunity extremely delicate.
35:37
[SPEAKER_03]: So that you know this is a safe space, right?
35:40
[SPEAKER_03]: For a person right now who's sitting in that home,
35:44
[SPEAKER_03]: And every time they come in, they got to sit in the driveway for about 15 minutes, because that's the only place of peace that they have, because this becomes so chaotic to go into that home, because communication isn't what it used to be.
35:57
[SPEAKER_03]: The outside world has not seen them to this beautiful ship in both that you have.
36:01
[SPEAKER_03]: When you look at the marriage, marriage pictures, you realize that that picture no longer really exists in your reality.
36:06
[SPEAKER_03]: And they're thinking about saying goodbye.
36:09
[SPEAKER_03]: What type of advice would you give to a person who's literally considering walking away?
36:15
[SPEAKER_06]: do everything you can so that you have no regrets, do the therapy, have the hard conversations, right, implement the things that the therapist is actually telling you to implement, not just be going to go.
36:29
[SPEAKER_06]: You know, do everything you can because once you've done everything you can,
36:34
[SPEAKER_06]: you have no regrets.
36:35
[SPEAKER_06]: I did everything I could.
36:36
[SPEAKER_06]: I have no regrets.
36:39
[SPEAKER_06]: You know, and you're able to move on with your life because there's nothing in the back of your head saying, well, if I did this different, if I did that, now, of course, there were things we could have done different in the marriage.
36:48
[SPEAKER_06]: You can kind of tell about my personality that, you know, I could have just, yeah, you can pop off.
36:53
[SPEAKER_03]: If you have to pop out, you're still gonna pop out.
36:56
[SPEAKER_03]: Let me tell you something.
36:57
[SPEAKER_03]: Let me tell you something about this.
36:59
[SPEAKER_03]: You remember, you remember I told you when I was looking for my mate.
37:02
[SPEAKER_03]: I was like, the meteor?
37:04
[SPEAKER_03]: I don't know, that's, I don't know, none spicy.
37:07
[SPEAKER_03]: I put my own spice on there.
37:08
[SPEAKER_03]: I want a little bit more calm.
37:10
[SPEAKER_03]: You can spice if you have to.
37:12
[SPEAKER_06]: I can't if I have to.
37:13
[SPEAKER_06]: One thousand percent I can't if I have to but with him I didn't have to.
37:18
[SPEAKER_03]: You have to because I didn't have to.
37:19
[SPEAKER_06]: Like when I say I loved us we were we were we were that you know so it I didn't have to but what it would be with us it wouldn't be it wouldn't be no fighting and cussing and under that we would go into these intellectual arguments that would last for about six hours.
37:39
[SPEAKER_06]: And when I look back, I'm like, I could have just conceded.
37:43
[SPEAKER_06]: Tiffany, you didn't have to get your point across that long, because I was gonna be a lawyer before I went psychology way.
37:50
[SPEAKER_06]: So I'm like, you could have just conceded in some stuff.
37:53
[SPEAKER_06]: You didn't have to, you could have just let him had it.
37:56
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
37:56
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
37:57
[SPEAKER_03]: Is there anything else you look back?
37:59
[SPEAKER_03]: as I say, stores are always good.
38:02
[SPEAKER_03]: I'm very ambitious.
38:04
[SPEAKER_03]: And I take these visions.
38:06
[SPEAKER_03]: I bring them into the earth.
38:07
[SPEAKER_03]: I build a team to create them.
38:09
[SPEAKER_03]: And sometimes I put my blinders on and put everything on hold.
38:13
[SPEAKER_03]: I wasn't the best included in marriage.
38:15
[SPEAKER_03]: I wasn't the best data in marriage.
38:17
[SPEAKER_03]: I wasn't the best communicator in marriage because it was all about the vision.
38:22
[SPEAKER_03]: When you come out the neighborhood and you come out the streets, like you just put their numbers together and you like, okay cool, it's gonna take this to do this and do this and do this.
38:29
[SPEAKER_03]: Like, I like to build stuff.
38:31
[SPEAKER_03]: And when I build stuff, like, it's like, okay cool.
38:34
[SPEAKER_03]: Will there ever be a break?
38:36
[SPEAKER_03]: I'm like sure it's gonna be a break.
38:37
[SPEAKER_03]: Yep, three days and I got another vision.
38:39
[SPEAKER_03]: Now we're gonna take this and we're gonna take it to Neon.
38:41
[SPEAKER_03]: working we're doing this this and this when you look back what else do you think that maybe you know what the next time it goes around I made shift this a little bit
38:49
[SPEAKER_06]: Actually, I don't think I built enough in the marriage.
38:52
[SPEAKER_06]: I wrapped myself around my husband and his life.
38:57
[SPEAKER_06]: I cooked every single day, went to the grocery store every single day, and I'm talking about soul food like I cook.
39:03
[SPEAKER_06]: So I was cleaning, making sure the house was together, the dogs.
39:08
[SPEAKER_06]: And when I first met him, I had just did a movie with Dietrich Hadden.
39:14
[SPEAKER_06]: And so, you know, my, I was doing conferences and events and my career was on and up and up.
39:20
[SPEAKER_06]: And I kind of just, I had been wanting to be married for so long and just praying for, you know, my, my spouse that when I, when I finally got married, I wrapped my whole life around it, you know, I just really just thrust myself into, so I think, um, balance.
39:38
[SPEAKER_06]: You know, that still maintaining my business, still maintaining who I am outside of the marriage.
39:46
[SPEAKER_06]: You know, and I think also communication, one, not just in how I communicated, but hearing him, men want to be heard.
39:56
[SPEAKER_06]: Thanks.
39:59
[SPEAKER_06]: And because we were so comfortable, I was like, Brian, you know, but for me, I think,
40:07
[SPEAKER_06]: I could have just listened, I didn't pick up on a lot of stuff because we were so comfortable.
40:12
[SPEAKER_06]: I didn't pick up on a lot of cues.
40:14
[SPEAKER_06]: I didn't even know how to minister to him when his mom died.
40:19
[SPEAKER_06]: Like I didn't really know, I still have my mom.
40:23
[SPEAKER_06]: So I didn't really know how to even, you know, moving that space.
40:28
[SPEAKER_06]: So I think just communication, I could have done that better.
40:32
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
40:33
[SPEAKER_03]: That is always difficult, my biological mom, 20, last year.
40:39
[SPEAKER_03]: And that's a very, very difficult space.
40:42
[SPEAKER_03]: When you look at the women now who have this dream and goal of being married, then they find they want and whether it's in divorce or just ends, they have this narrative of like, you wasted my time.
40:59
[SPEAKER_03]: if that's not something that you think about.
41:01
[SPEAKER_03]: Could you speak to that a little bit because it often feels like that the men wouldn't even involve.
41:06
[SPEAKER_03]: It was just kind of like, you wasted my time.
41:09
[SPEAKER_03]: I gave you three years, I got to get you here.
41:11
[SPEAKER_03]: The best years of my thighs and this, this, this, and now you going on about your business.
41:16
[SPEAKER_03]: How do you compete with that narrative moving into 40s and still wanting to have children?
41:21
[SPEAKER_06]: Yeah.
41:23
[SPEAKER_06]: I think.
41:24
[SPEAKER_06]: I'm not gonna hold you.
41:25
[SPEAKER_06]: That's where I was, you know.
41:27
[SPEAKER_06]: That's the last time.
41:28
[SPEAKER_06]: I mean, you know, sick after six years, you like, well, all my 30s have been snatched up.
41:35
[SPEAKER_06]: What's going on here?
41:36
[SPEAKER_06]: You know, but the more,
41:39
[SPEAKER_06]: the more I pray, the more I process the more it makes sense, and I think that it's just really finding the lessons and finding the revelation and the situation that moves you out of that bitterness.
41:56
[SPEAKER_06]: you don't want to become bitter after divorce and it's very easy to become bitter, it's very easy to become violent, it's very easy to become many things and I think for me I was very very intentional about not becoming a stereotype.
42:13
[SPEAKER_04]: Hmm, yeah.
42:15
[SPEAKER_03]: Hey family, here's the thing.
42:17
[SPEAKER_03]: There is an opportunity for you to learn finances better.
42:20
[SPEAKER_03]: I believe that you gotta be a better steward over there.
42:22
[SPEAKER_03]: There's an opportunity for those of you who have had job lost, lost, that there's some online opportunities that I wanna share with you.
42:29
[SPEAKER_03]: Or maybe you're in a relationship and you look at their him and you look at an hour and you like, ooh, I don't like you like that.
42:34
[SPEAKER_03]: Maybe there's an opportunity for you to get better in that arena.
42:37
[SPEAKER_03]: And if you're anything like me with a 17 year old who's about to go to college, baby, I need some scholarship.
42:43
[SPEAKER_03]: That's called the flat out family Monday through Thursday We have the tools that you need in this amazing community.
42:50
[SPEAKER_03]: All you got to do is click the link in this YouTube description or go to flatoutfamily.com Go now.
42:56
[SPEAKER_03]: Now back to the episode.
42:57
[SPEAKER_03]: Flat out.
42:59
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, yeah, it's easy to do all those.
43:01
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah Don't do it him.
43:03
[SPEAKER_03]: Don't you ever want to see?
43:05
[SPEAKER_03]: You know, you know, just as I see here as we land this plane
43:10
[SPEAKER_03]: Like, I just can't, I can not stop telling you how much I appreciate you taking the opportunity.
43:17
[SPEAKER_03]: And I say that because I've said in your seat.
43:22
[SPEAKER_03]: Well, while the world was making fun, I was silently healing and trying my best to kill the person that they made fun of.
43:31
[SPEAKER_03]: What I've learned about divorce is that I cannot be mad at how it happened.
43:40
[SPEAKER_03]: because God was attempting to kill the version that I pretended to be.
43:46
[SPEAKER_03]: Like I wanted to be perfect.
43:48
[SPEAKER_03]: I wanted to be Cliff Hux the Buddha.
43:50
[SPEAKER_03]: That was the only thing that I sang and I realized that I still still had a lot of that residue from the neighborhood, like we all are in B-sangers.
43:57
[SPEAKER_03]: So I'm a little too friendly on this world.
44:00
[SPEAKER_03]: My purity and conversation is not what it's supposed to do.
44:03
[SPEAKER_03]: And I remember what, it's funny you said it, and I hate to be the whole me too, me too, God, but I'm running down the belt line.
44:10
[SPEAKER_03]: in our past ponds and I go over that bridge and it finally makes sense to me.
44:15
[SPEAKER_03]: I go over the bridge to the right and I remember looking down and I see the graffiti on the wall and I just start crying and people start coming around and there's like a U.K. because I'm bent down and think I have an injury or something and I was like I get it.
44:27
[SPEAKER_03]: God kept asking me is that you?
44:30
[SPEAKER_03]: is that you.
44:32
[SPEAKER_03]: He's not asking me a question with an answer he doesn't have.
44:36
[SPEAKER_03]: He's actually asking me a question.
44:37
[SPEAKER_03]: It's the version that those people talking about is that you.
44:42
[SPEAKER_03]: The version that they were talking about was the guy who didn't do right.
44:46
[SPEAKER_03]: he would never tell.
44:47
[SPEAKER_03]: He did this and he did that and he did this and all of that narrative started to play on me and I spoke through it.
44:53
[SPEAKER_03]: I inspired through it.
44:54
[SPEAKER_03]: I got on radio and power people and it was good.
44:57
[SPEAKER_03]: Performance is my best thing like because the power is dropping and I'm seeing people last transformed and finally in that moment on the same street other belt line that you're on.
45:09
[SPEAKER_03]: I said no.
45:11
[SPEAKER_03]: that's not me.
45:12
[SPEAKER_03]: And I was able to make fun of the guy that they made fun of too because I didn't want to be saying anymore.
45:18
[SPEAKER_03]: I wanted guys power to really follow my life.
45:21
[SPEAKER_03]: I wanted the authentic relationship with him.
45:23
[SPEAKER_03]: I knew the worst thing that they ever could have did for me was make fun and I found out how much he actually loved the version that I was hiding from them.
45:31
[SPEAKER_03]: and it is my prayer that you get an opportunity to look at the Tiffany that they knew and smile at it too, to let them know that hey man, it's a beautiful butterfly that's coming out of this thing.
45:42
[SPEAKER_03]: There were so many things that you could have did.
45:43
[SPEAKER_03]: There were so many opportunities for you to go and be exactly what every stereotype said it could be.
45:49
[SPEAKER_03]: But I just appreciate you being exactly who God has called you to be.
45:53
[SPEAKER_03]: And I just, I think God is going to change even though it's been 18 years.
45:56
[SPEAKER_03]: that I get a chance to hang out with you and your incubator stages and on your uptick.
46:00
[SPEAKER_03]: And I thank God that you came through.
46:02
[SPEAKER_03]: I really talk to you.
46:03
[SPEAKER_03]: It's like, it's an honor.
46:04
[SPEAKER_03]: You stuck with me and that's it.
46:06
[SPEAKER_06]: Yeah.
46:06
[SPEAKER_06]: So that was such a beautiful conversation and it was real.
46:11
[SPEAKER_06]: People want real.
46:11
[SPEAKER_06]: They want real.
46:13
[SPEAKER_06]: They want to be able to feel what you're saying.
46:15
[SPEAKER_06]: They want something that they can apply, not just a scripture, but give me the application.
46:19
[SPEAKER_06]: And I think this was very informative.
46:21
[SPEAKER_03]: And so, family, you know I like to put a bow on it.
46:24
[SPEAKER_03]: Number one, shout out to everybody who sees that we're in a different location.
46:27
[SPEAKER_03]: We're in a transition.
46:28
[SPEAKER_03]: I'm gonna tell you about it a little after the show is over.
46:31
[SPEAKER_03]: And I'm gonna show you where we're going.
46:32
[SPEAKER_03]: I'm in a cash vision.
46:34
[SPEAKER_03]: But here's the thing, man.
46:35
[SPEAKER_03]: Holy Spirit kind of challenged me when it came to prophetess, Tiff, Tiffany Wilson.
46:42
[SPEAKER_03]: And I was like, hey, I don't know.
46:44
[SPEAKER_03]: And I was just pure.
46:45
[SPEAKER_03]: And I was just being obedient.
46:47
[SPEAKER_03]: And I don't know what happens in the future,
46:51
[SPEAKER_03]: that many of you are all awaiting and you shall await before you minister from your womb, but then there's a handful of you guys who are waiting for it to be perfect before you form your like the words for the healing for the people at large.
47:08
[SPEAKER_03]: Some of us are actually called to minister from the room.
47:11
[SPEAKER_03]: How do you know that you minister from the room?
47:13
[SPEAKER_03]: Because you do not make it about anybody else.
47:16
[SPEAKER_03]: You take full accountability and responsibility for your own personal action without bashing someone else.
47:23
[SPEAKER_03]: If you had the maturity to do so, in your drug use, it's time to start minister.
47:28
[SPEAKER_03]: If you can do it in the midst of your early divorce without wounding someone else, it's time to do it.
47:34
[SPEAKER_03]: If you can do it right now, why are you going through your child support battle and you going through all of this stuff without wounding someone else?
47:42
[SPEAKER_03]: I think it's time for you to form your like that story so you can be a bigger blessing to the people and large.
47:47
[SPEAKER_03]: God is not allowing this thing to happen to you, like it's happening for you.
47:52
[SPEAKER_03]: And you hear that age, oh, cliche.
47:53
[SPEAKER_03]: A lot of times you think to yourself, well, this don't feel like it's happening, like for me, because you're not giving it.
47:59
[SPEAKER_03]: It feel like it's happening to you, because there's no release.
48:03
[SPEAKER_03]: I believe the moment that you get the strength and maturity to say, I will not wound the other person, but I will speak out about what's going on.
48:10
[SPEAKER_03]: You get an opportunity to...
48:12
[SPEAKER_03]: put your hand out, somebody gets the opportunity to grab it and this is when people say, wow, I get an opportunity to see you grow from this, not from this platform where I got it all together, the wound is healed and you can't even remember the minutia of the things in the pain and the hurts that you've been through.
48:29
[SPEAKER_03]: Listen, I'm not talking to everybody, but if you preach your heart and you know you a part of their handful of people.
48:38
[SPEAKER_03]: that God has given the spiritual maturity not to bash the other person that was involved in your incident or hurt somebody else with this test of moment.
48:46
[SPEAKER_03]: It's only hurting you, it's time to release it.
48:52
[SPEAKER_03]: And I don't know, maybe you put it in the comments and say, that's me, he talking to me.
48:56
[SPEAKER_03]: I believe by faith right now that God has challenged everybody understand in my voice to share, share, share, share.
49:05
[SPEAKER_03]: The Bible declares this, that people are overcome by the blood of the lamb and the word of the testimony, right?
49:11
[SPEAKER_03]: This is the only time in Scripture where I see testimony and blood having the same power.
49:16
[SPEAKER_03]: My challenge to you, you've been looking to be powerful, the power isn't your story.
49:21
[SPEAKER_03]: So I know it's challenging.
49:22
[SPEAKER_03]: Sometimes embarrassing.
49:24
[SPEAKER_03]: People made front of me in the comments all the time.
49:25
[SPEAKER_03]: He always talked about he's adopted.
49:27
[SPEAKER_03]: Never made anybody in this biological family.
49:29
[SPEAKER_03]: He talked about he was he was on alcohol.
49:31
[SPEAKER_03]: He talked about being molested when he was eight years.
49:33
[SPEAKER_03]: Like why do you share all of this?
49:35
[SPEAKER_03]: You should see my DMs.
49:37
[SPEAKER_03]: The safety of people being able to get in there and be able to share what they're going through.
49:41
[SPEAKER_03]: And I don't need to do I have navigation or scripture.
49:43
[SPEAKER_03]: I have navigational testimony.
49:46
[SPEAKER_03]: Your testimony is the navigation.
49:48
[SPEAKER_03]: Make sure that somebody gets the opportunity
49:52
[SPEAKER_03]: love yourself more.
49:53
[SPEAKER_03]: Check this out.
50:12
[SPEAKER_02]: Then on Tuesday, AJ Jones in the building, he's going to let you know how you can make some money at home with remote jobs.
50:19
[SPEAKER_02]: And even if it's not a remote job, he's going to put some extra money in your pocket.
50:22
[SPEAKER_03]: And of course, Wednesday, it's all about relationships.
50:24
[SPEAKER_03]: Honestly, you've been thinking about the D-word divorce.
50:27
[SPEAKER_03]: for a minute, but you don't have to, right?
50:29
[SPEAKER_03]: You've been going through a lot in your relationship.
50:31
[SPEAKER_03]: Dr. Tardis, I train in licensed psychologists and relationships specialists.
50:34
[SPEAKER_03]: He's gonna give you all the tools you need to take your relationship to another level.
50:38
[SPEAKER_02]: And then on Thursday, our educational guru as we like to call him, Kata Simmons, he's gonna be in the building.
50:44
[SPEAKER_02]: Now, he often has advice for kids and students, but I always take notes.
50:49
[SPEAKER_02]: And so it's gonna bless you as an adult.
50:51
[SPEAKER_03]: It's all about scholarship dollars for your students.
50:52
[SPEAKER_03]: Listen, flat out family is a community of people who are doing our best to give you all the tools you need to take your life to another level.
50:56
[SPEAKER_03]: A lot of people love you for what you do.
50:57
[SPEAKER_03]: We love you for who you are.
50:58
[SPEAKER_03]: And that's why you got to join our community.
50:59
[SPEAKER_03]: Flat out.
50:59
[SPEAKER_00]: [♪ music playing in background music playing in background music playing in background music playing in background music playing in background music playing in background music playing in background music playing in background music playing in background music playing in background music playing in background music playing in background music playing in background music playing in background music playing in background music playing in background music playing in background music playing in background music playing in background music playing in background music playing in background music playing in background music playing in background music playing in background music playing in background music playing in background music playing in background music playing in background music playing in background music playing in background music playing in background music playing in background music playing in background