Latest / Mommywood / Parenting, Acting, and the Art of Not Stressing with Lilan Bowden

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Parenting, Acting, and the Art of Not Stressing with Lilan Bowden · Mommywood

• 0:02
  Welcome to Mommy Would, the podcast where motherhood meets
• 0:06
  Hollywood. Real moms, real talk, no
• 0:09
  scripts. I'm your host Emily Bolt, and we
• 0:12
  are talking about the messy, funny and unfiltered side of
• 0:16
  being a mom in the entertainment industry.
• 0:19
  Welcome back to another episode of Mommy Would.
• 0:21
  I am your host, Emily Bolt, and today on Mommy Would, I'm
• 0:24
  talking to someone who truly understands the long game of
• 0:27
  this industry. Lelan Bowden.
• 0:30
  You probably know her as Tia on Shrinking or from NCIS or
• 0:34
  Murderville or as backs on Auntie Mac.
• 0:37
  But what I love about Leland's story isn't just the credits.
• 0:41
  It's the path. She came up through improv.
• 0:44
  She did the grind. She navigated being biracial in
• 0:48
  an industry that loves to categorize and put us in boxes.
• 0:51
  And she moved from from Disney to adult comedy.
• 0:56
  She directs, she writes, she's married to another creative, and
• 1:00
  she's also a mom, which means she's building a career,
• 1:03
  evolving creatively and raising a human at the same time.
• 1:08
  She's also recently launched her own podcast, which is so great.
• 1:12
  It's called Ponder Stations, which feels very aligned with
• 1:16
  who she is. It's very thoughtful, it's very
• 1:18
  curious and it's very willing to go deeper than surface level
• 1:24
  industry talk. I love it.
• 1:26
  Make sure that you check it out as well in in this episode we
• 1:31
  talk about the weird middle years.
• 1:34
  We talk about the identity shift, almost quitting moments,
• 1:37
  the comparison traps, and we talk about how improv builds
• 1:43
  resilience and what what it really takes to stay in this
• 1:48
  industry long enough to see it shift, especially once
• 1:52
  motherhood has changed the equation as well.
• 1:57
  This one feels like a real conversation between two actors
• 2:01
  who have been in it. I love talking to Lelan.
• 2:07
  She is so wonderful, so down to earth, and I'm such a fan so I
• 2:12
  was truly honored to get to chat with her.
• 2:15
  So please enjoy this episode of Mommy Would with Lelan Godin.
• 2:21
  How's it going, Emily? Good.
• 2:23
  How are you? I'm Oh my gosh, you are is this
• 2:27
  the background of choice to like really like add to the ambience
• 2:30
  of like, look, it's mommy wood. OK, look we are doing our zooms
• 2:34
  where the crib. I live in a 2 bedroom apartment
• 2:38
  and my husband is working in our room.
• 2:41
  I I feel we are in a one bedroom.
• 2:44
  Oh, you win. I don't have this flex for long.
• 2:49
  We're we're trying to upgrade to a 2 bedroom.
• 2:52
  So it's, it's fun to just like be like, look, we're really
• 2:57
  doing it, you guys, but less fun to live in.
• 3:02
  Yeah, yeah, there was another woman I had on the podcast and
• 3:06
  she has two boys and her and her husband live in a one bedroom
• 3:11
  also. And I was like, I don't know
• 3:14
  how. And they're like older kids, not
• 3:18
  older, like tenish, like school aged.
• 3:22
  It's almost like, I don't, I'm sorry, what?
• 3:25
  But it's, you know, it's all relative of like, well, the
• 3:30
  neighborhood or the school versus like go on vacation or
• 3:34
  like, you know, it's all where you're money goes like.
• 3:39
  It's so true and we made this choice purposefully when we
• 3:44
  decided on this place because we just love the neighborhood so
• 3:48
  much and truly the rewards that have come back just living here.
• 3:53
  I'm immeasurable. You know, we're around like our
• 3:56
  network, so. Are you in like you're in like
• 3:58
  the Los Feliz area? I love Los Feliz.
• 4:03
  We're not far. We're in like Toluca Lake,
• 4:06
  Studio City area. That's great.
• 4:08
  Yeah, that's awesome. Yeah, we got a COVID deal as so
• 4:13
  we're not. I keep looking for places to
• 4:15
  like move, but I'm like, I do love our neighborhood.
• 4:20
  We got a COVID deal on this apartment.
• 4:21
  So even like the one bedrooms in our building are more are more
• 4:26
  than our apartment. It's crazy.
• 4:29
  It's Oh my gosh. I.
• 4:31
  Was like, I'm not moving oh God, we've already begun.
• 4:41
  We'll just continue. I'm so excited to chat with you.
• 4:45
  I have to say I've, you know, been been watching shrinking and
• 4:53
  I was just telling my husband that I was like, I have to stop
• 4:58
  watching it while because I watch my shows when I walk on
• 5:01
  the treadmill and I was like, good thing nobody is usually in
• 5:04
  there because I'm like I'm either laughing out loud or
• 5:08
  literally crying on the travel. Watching Oh my goodness while
• 5:12
  just like, just taking a hike. It's so funny, it's so, it's so
• 5:18
  good. But we'll we'll get to shrinking
• 5:21
  because we'll start at the beginning.
• 5:25
  Where did you? Let's talk about just like where
• 5:27
  you grow up again, how you got how you got to Los Feliz.
• 5:32
  How? How does one get to Los Feliz?
• 5:36
  Yeah, I grew up in the California Bay Area.
• 5:39
  I grew up inland in, I grew up in like a, a big old house with
• 5:45
  a lot of my mom's relatives and my dad and my mom and, and just
• 5:51
  the always kind of had a little bug for acting.
• 5:54
  And my parents were really supportive of that.
• 5:56
  They didn't get it. They were.
• 5:58
  They're both like engineers people, engineers people.
• 6:04
  And but, but they were like, OK, whatever, we'll, we'll see what
• 6:07
  kind of resources are out there for you, you know, and then that
• 6:11
  was it just never went away. I, I, I kind of just did the
• 6:15
  path of least resistance to get me here, which is a path of lot
• 6:19
  of resistance. So I'm really, I was really
• 6:23
  trying to just like thread that needle.
• 6:26
  I applied to only just the UC system because I knew I had the
• 6:29
  grades for it and it's just one application.
• 6:32
  I was like, I just got to get to Lai, want to go to college.
• 6:35
  I want to get to Lai. Ended up going to UC Irvine and
• 6:39
  I was like, and honestly, it's like truly I, I really like my
• 6:43
  education at Irvine, but it was just all about getting to LA and
• 6:48
  UCLA did not accept me. So I was like, all right, I'm
• 6:51
  I'm waiting in the wings and then the.
• 6:53
  Grandkid company you're in. Not everybody gets into UCLA,
• 6:58
  OK, but. But yeah, after college, I, I
• 7:03
  spent a little bit of time travelling and then, and then it
• 7:07
  was LA or bust. Yeah, I, I moved out here with a
• 7:11
  college friend and my boyfriend at the time.
• 7:14
  And it was really nice to move out with people.
• 7:17
  Gosh, I can't imagine how anyone just going here raw and like not
• 7:23
  even be I mean the three of us were clueless because we're all
• 7:26
  moving to a new city together, but at least we could be
• 7:28
  clueless together. And just like you have to
• 7:32
  understand everything about LA in your own mind.
• 7:36
  That's tough. So and ended up in Hollywood
• 7:40
  when I first got here and honestly, like, I feel like I
• 7:43
  found those feels. But it found me, you know, it
• 7:45
  was just such a cool place. I got a job as a barista here
• 7:50
  and soon enough, like a spot opened up with one of my friends
• 7:55
  in a place that was like a couple blocks away walking.
• 7:58
  And it's been great. I'm I'm such a rare case where
• 8:03
  most of my life in LA has been walking to my destinations.
• 8:07
  Yeah. And I mean, I don't want to go
• 8:10
  crazy. You need a car, but like I was
• 8:14
  for a lot of my for a lot of my time my my survival jobs, I
• 8:18
  could walk, I guess just kind of maybe just the one, but or I
• 8:23
  could take the metro and I I really wanted to be able to
• 8:27
  pursue that kind of life. I found it really difficult.
• 8:29
  I tried biking in the first couple of years.
• 8:31
  Well, no, no, very brave. Thank you.
• 8:38
  I won't do it again, but but but yeah, like it's, it's just kind
• 8:45
  of a perfect mix of everything for me here.
• 8:48
  There's a lot of my friends who still live here.
• 8:51
  There's it's like close to all the freeways.
• 8:54
  So it's like it's close and far enough away from everything.
• 8:57
  Sure. Yeah, totally.
• 9:01
  So once you like got out here and start started auditioning
• 9:08
  and everything, were you auditioning while you were at
• 9:11
  Irvine yet or did you like stay in Irvine and then.
• 9:16
  I couldn't imagine I some some friends did that.
• 9:21
  No, that I mean that like just LA was like, even though it was
• 9:24
  like an hour and a half drive, it felt so far it, it was like
• 9:30
  this wild, wild city of things. I, I don't, I couldn't imagine
• 9:35
  going to an audition while I was in college.
• 9:38
  No, I, I waited till I got out of here.
• 9:41
  But while I was in college, I was doing all my little
• 9:43
  researches which mainly meant reading the blogs from
• 9:48
  actorsaccess.com. Oh yeah.
• 9:52
  Are they are they still up there too?
• 9:54
  There's the the cast. There was like a casting one and
• 9:57
  then there's like a business 1. Yeah, I don't know.
• 10:00
  There's so many sites at this point.
• 10:02
  I'm right. It's it's ridiculous.
• 10:05
  It's like, yeah, it's. Crazy.
• 10:08
  It's a lot. It's too much.
• 10:11
  These two blogs on Actors Access were like my my only window and
• 10:17
  I I really took all the advice that was given in these blogs so
• 10:20
  to heart and after reading literally 2 blogs on one website
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  I was like I am ready. I've got this.
• 10:29
  I've got this. So when did you jumping ahead
• 10:34
  then after auditioning and moving here, when did you start
• 10:37
  feeling like acting was a career instead of just like a hustle?
• 10:44
  Like I know you said you were working as a barista and like
• 10:47
  having the survival jobs out here.
• 10:49
  When did you start feeling like the acting was that you were
• 10:54
  feeling a little more stable? I mean, I feel like Andy Mack
• 10:58
  came pretty. I don't know what's that
• 11:01
  timeline like for. Andy Mack, my first series
• 11:06
  regular that I got to do that. Like I had booked pilots at that
• 11:11
  point and that was it. That came.
• 11:15
  Let me see that that came ten years after I had moved to LA.
• 11:20
  Wait. Yeah.
• 11:22
  Yeah, 9 to 10 years after I moved to LA Yeah.
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  And that was the first time I felt stable.
• 11:28
  A. Little Yeah.
• 11:29
  You're like a little bit stable with that.
• 11:33
  Yeah. Gosh.
• 11:34
  So how many, what did your moments look like throughout
• 11:38
  those 10 years? Did you have those like almost
• 11:41
  quitting moments and what did that look like for you?
• 11:44
  And like, how did you keep going?
• 11:47
  Sure. I was just on a a podcast that
• 11:52
  Open Mic Eagle and Anna Marie Cox do about financial security
• 11:55
  and the entertainment industry. So I was sharing some sad
• 11:58
  stories. But yeah, yeah, I definitely
• 12:03
  went through big, big swells of like, OK, I think I'm really
• 12:08
  good for a while. And then like, yeah, just feast
• 12:11
  their famine where I just didn't know.
• 12:15
  I was like, rent is due, but I don't have any plans to get
• 12:19
  there. I want plans to get there, but I
• 12:22
  don't know where they'll come from.
• 12:28
  I never it's it's crazy. I never thought about quitting
• 12:30
  or leaving. Perhaps like I was just lucky
• 12:33
  enough to have enough to like keep hoping.
• 12:36
  But part of it is like the shame of I, I just couldn't deal with
• 12:42
  the shame of, like, not doing it.
• 12:45
  I was like, I have to. I just have to, yeah.
• 12:49
  Yeah, You know, I'm like, I can't go back now.
• 12:53
  I can't. We're back home now.
• 12:55
  I, I don't even know where back back would be, you know, I, I
• 13:00
  guess, but I, I felt like, you know, even at my lowest moments
• 13:04
  in Lai still felt like I had way more leads and way more
• 13:10
  community everything then I did. If I then I would have it had I
• 13:16
  moved back to my, my mom's home, you know, like I, I don't know
• 13:21
  what I would do at all if I, if I moved back to my hometown.
• 13:28
  So, so at a certain point they're just like kind of that
• 13:32
  ladder like that. I climbed up, pulled out.
• 13:36
  So I'm like, I'm here now. This is home.
• 13:38
  This is the world I I live in and I'll I'll try to do whatever
• 13:43
  I can to make that happen. Yeah.
• 13:46
  Did you, did you ever feel like you were like pigeonholed or
• 13:53
  people 'cause I go through that now where it's like the we don't
• 13:59
  know what to do with you or there's no parts for you or like
• 14:02
  how did you deal with like that type of stuff either either
• 14:08
  pigeonholing or like the not knowing what to do with you like
• 14:11
  that type of stuff. Sure, I have two thoughts that
• 14:17
  have sprung to the surface. I'll I'll divide them one my my
• 14:23
  experience with that I I'm I'm mixed race.
• 14:27
  I'm, I'm Asian and white and especially in like, you know,
• 14:30
  the late aughts, you know, the 2009, my communities and
• 14:37
  especially the comedy community was majority white, majority
• 14:41
  male. And when new networks were being
• 14:45
  started, a lot of Internet comedy like, and then people
• 14:49
  wanted to do a broad people in charge.
• 14:51
  I wanted to do like, you know, comedy that featured a diversity
• 14:56
  of people. I kind of stubbed in for a lot
• 14:58
  of those diversity. I'm not proud of it, Like and I
• 15:03
  didn't know any better too. And it was just like, oh, we
• 15:06
  need somebody to fill in this archetype, whether it's like I'm
• 15:11
  not even like bitter or and and maybe I'm embarrassed, I'm
• 15:15
  embarrassed for sure, but it's like, oh, we need somebody who's
• 15:18
  like a kooky Co worker. We need somebody like that feels
• 15:22
  island like to dance around this man while he sings like these
• 15:26
  really just really one-dimensional, truly
• 15:30
  embarrassing tropes that that I just I just did.
• 15:35
  There wasn't much to do else being like a new actor
• 15:38
  generating your new credits. OK, That being said, I now think
• 15:43
  about this quote that you said we don't know what to do with
• 15:47
  you. And I just got so triggered by
• 15:50
  that just now because it's it's so well, what do you mean you
• 15:57
  got to do something with me? I like it.
• 15:58
  Like, EW, like we, I, I, I, I feel like that quote comes from
• 16:05
  a place, not saying the person who says it is, but comes from a
• 16:09
  place of really one dimensionality in media, really
• 16:16
  simplifying things out. It almost feels like ChatGPT
• 16:21
  where like as the I'm referring to like the model where ChatGPT
• 16:27
  works, where they take everything that's existed and
• 16:30
  they find patterns and then they take new information and they
• 16:33
  kind of work it out into what already exists.
• 16:35
  So that that sentence we don't know what to do with you is so
• 16:40
  minimalizing. And and it doesn't come from a
• 16:43
  place of authority. Maybe it comes from a place of
• 16:46
  authority as far as getting jobs and paychecks in that way.
• 16:49
  But as far as creativity and what, like, an actor can offer.
• 16:55
  Oh, I just think it's so rude, you know?
• 16:58
  Like, what do you mean you don't know what to do with me?
• 17:01
  I know what I do. Yeah.
• 17:03
  You know, And if you want to use that for your thing, that's
• 17:09
  great. That's a partnership.
• 17:11
  But I but when, when I hear we don't know what to do with you,
• 17:16
  that's not a partnership to me, that I'm a commodity.
• 17:20
  You know, I'm, I'm a, I'm, I'm a, a fuel source.
• 17:27
  So you mentioned obviously you do a lot of improv and comedy
• 17:31
  and when did you start doing that?
• 17:36
  You're mostly you're a lot at UCB if I'm.
• 17:41
  Correct, you are correct. Yes, we.
• 17:44
  I've been through all the levels.
• 17:45
  It's been a minute. I need to get back.
• 17:47
  I miss it. But tell me, when did you start
• 17:52
  that and how? Yeah.
• 17:54
  Well, I started improv comedy when I was 14, so I I started a
• 17:59
  long time before I even moved to moved to Socal.
• 18:03
  I just, I really loved it so much.
• 18:05
  I did short form Whose Line is It Anyway?
• 18:09
  Through comedy, sports. I really, really loved it.
• 18:12
  And then UCB, as you mentioned, I started as soon as I moved out
• 18:16
  here. I didn't, I didn't really have
• 18:21
  I, I could have ended up anywhere, I think.
• 18:23
  But proximity wise it was like, oh, this theatre is closed,
• 18:26
  people are taking classes. I didn't know much about it and
• 18:29
  I was so happy to land there. I, I loved getting in on a
• 18:33
  theatre. At the time I joined UCB, New
• 18:37
  York had already been established and UCPLA was still
• 18:41
  in its beginning years. And so being a part of a
• 18:43
  theater, like somewhat on the ground floor was awesome in a
• 18:49
  way that I didn't even know at the time.
• 18:51
  I was just like, I'm just doing stuff.
• 18:53
  I'm just out here. And I didn't really get, I
• 18:56
  didn't really get on that stage until like 5-6 years later.
• 19:00
  I was just taking classes forever.
• 19:02
  I was interning, but you know, being on the ground floor, all
• 19:05
  these opportunities were available to me that like are
• 19:08
  tougher now with it being so established where it just kind
• 19:12
  of lets you intern forever. So I just like I just racked up
• 19:15
  all these credits. There was no rollover.
• 19:18
  There was no because there was not no people, you know, So like
• 19:22
  I had all these credits and I was like, gosh, I'm not as
• 19:24
  improv classes to take. I might as well start doing
• 19:27
  sketch classes. I had AI had an abundance of
• 19:31
  riches, yes. That's funny, yeah.
• 19:37
  And you're still performing improv, so it must be definitely
• 19:40
  like something that really fuels you as well.
• 19:46
  Yeah, it, it is a totem. It is, it is kind of now at this
• 19:51
  point, I feel like I'm, I'm still within my craft.
• 19:53
  I, I, I wonder if it's similar to like a singer-songwriter
• 19:59
  that, you know, even if they're not.
• 20:01
  You know, even if the album's done and they're taking some
• 20:03
  time off, they can just bring out a guitar and just kind of
• 20:06
  calm their mind by like playing some riffs.
• 20:09
  That's kind of what improv feels for me.
• 20:12
  I understand for most people it is the opposite experience.
• 20:15
  It's quite nerve wracking and it has been for me for many years.
• 20:19
  But, but, but I, I feel so lucky that at this point, I've been
• 20:26
  kicking around the improv community for so long that I
• 20:29
  can, I get asked to do shows from time to time and I don't
• 20:32
  have to book my own shows and I don't have to the, the hustle on
• 20:36
  getting the hot spots isn't there anymore.
• 20:38
  And so I can dive in and I can just live my craft and it feels
• 20:43
  so lovely. It it, it really feels like a
• 20:46
  centering. Yeah, yeah, I love that.
• 20:49
  Yeah. I feel like if I got back into
• 20:51
  it, I would definitely have to go through the nerve, the
• 20:55
  nervous phase again, for sure, for sure.
• 21:00
  Now, I forgot to start off by asking how you're if you're
• 21:05
  comfortable sharing your son your son's name and age.
• 21:11
  The little guy is named Ren and he is 2 1/2 and he's just a
• 21:15
  sweet little guy. It's such a.
• 21:20
  Sweet age. It's the sweetest.
• 21:23
  It's how old are, how old are. I I have a daughter and she's 3
• 21:28
  1/2. She's 3 1/2.
• 21:31
  Oh my. Gosh, yeah.
• 21:32
  Don't judge me, people. She's still in her.
• 21:38
  I think that's great. She's still in it, she hasn't
• 21:40
  climbed out. I've mentioned I was like we
• 21:43
  should get a big bed and she finally slept in a big bet on a
• 21:46
  trip we did. And then she was like, I love my
• 21:49
  crib. And I was like, OK.
• 21:51
  I think that rocks. I, I, I have no judgement for
• 21:56
  anybody doing anything. Right.
• 21:58
  I'm like, there's so much Mama judgement.
• 22:03
  I feel like we all talk about it and then it's like, you can
• 22:09
  just. I feel like we put it on
• 22:10
  ourselves too, because I don't feel like anybody's telling me
• 22:15
  their their judgement's on me. But I feel like it's so easy for
• 22:19
  moms to like even I just said I was like, don't judge me.
• 22:24
  Like I don't know why we do it. Why do we do it?
• 22:27
  I know and well, I mean we're we're coming from like, you
• 22:31
  know, we're we're both newish moms, it seems like too.
• 22:35
  And So what we've known all this time pre being mom is these the
• 22:44
  social structure of just like, Oh, I know why we do it, because
• 22:48
  moms get judged. Moms get judged all over the
• 22:51
  place. It doesn't mean that our own
• 22:52
  friends are judging us or whatever, But like we just see
• 22:54
  it on the Internet all the time where someone's like, I've got a
• 22:57
  kid and, and there's a there's the full spectrum of like that
• 23:01
  kids cold. It needs a jacket.
• 23:03
  You know, don't put your kid online.
• 23:06
  Let's see more of your kid online.
• 23:08
  You know, like it's we, we like, I like for babies, I think
• 23:14
  that's like fine. It's just like, it's just a
• 23:15
  baby. You know, now that he's kind of
• 23:19
  like, now I'm a little bit more sensitive.
• 23:20
  I feel like he's got his right to his image, you know, and, and
• 23:26
  things are different now too. I don't, I don't fault people
• 23:30
  from doing it too, because like in a world where, you know, our
• 23:33
  images aren't just captured by a creepy ass AI machine, you know,
• 23:38
  I'm, I'm like, I'm out there like my like I signed up for an
• 23:41
  entire lifetime of my image being captured.
• 23:43
  So it's fine for me. But like, but you know, in a
• 23:50
  world where this isn't all all this like crazy, like database
• 23:54
  stuff isn't happening, you would want to share your kid, you
• 23:57
  know, that's just normal stuff, you know, so, so, so yeah, just
• 24:02
  like kind of navigating a world of like huge judgments maybe
• 24:07
  happening IRL, definitely happening online.
• 24:10
  We get a little protective about our habits.
• 24:12
  But I'm here to break that mold. I'll I'll go in hard and say
• 24:16
  we've completely dismantled the crib.
• 24:19
  He sleeps with us now. He just, he just stops sleeping
• 24:22
  in the crib and we're like, fine, whatever.
• 24:25
  And it's cuter. It's so cute, OK, like I and,
• 24:30
  and what's cool is that when you like start a habit too, like
• 24:33
  that you haven't heard about a lot, it kind of feels nerve
• 24:39
  wracking to talk about it a little bit.
• 24:40
  But then you find other people. I found so many people who are
• 24:43
  like, yeah, I was raised in a one bedroom until I was 10 years
• 24:46
  old or whatever. And I was, Oh yeah, I, I Co
• 24:49
  slept with my parents until I was 12 and they seem to be
• 24:51
  normal to me. So it's it's probably fine.
• 24:55
  Well, it's like there's always people who are going to be like,
• 24:58
  oh, me too. And then there's always going to
• 25:00
  be people who are like, no, I'm against that.
• 25:04
  So it's like you, it doesn't. There's no.
• 25:07
  It's always like. It's always so exciting.
• 25:10
  But yeah, I mean, people have to do what works for their
• 25:13
  families. And you're not inside people's
• 25:16
  homes. You don't know what's going on.
• 25:18
  And like, I always try to think it's like when I think of my
• 25:23
  parents or when I think of growing up, I don't like care
• 25:27
  about the size of my house or what my parents did for work or
• 25:31
  like, it's more of how we feel. Like, how did my parents make me
• 25:35
  feel? And I try to remember that when
• 25:38
  I'm mothering, like that type of stuff, when I'm thinking, oh, we
• 25:44
  need a house with a yard. And I'm like, she plays outside,
• 25:49
  she's fine, you know? That's a good reminder.
• 25:53
  That's a good reminder too. I want, I want to get a place
• 25:55
  that's got all the fixings I want.
• 25:57
  I want a front yard backyard. I want two-bedroom 2.
• 26:00
  OK, three if I'm crazy. But but, but I mean, the truth
• 26:05
  of it is, is, is like as my husband and I are like looking
• 26:12
  to expand our quarters here. The, the, the quality of life is
• 26:18
  great. Quality of life is great for
• 26:20
  little guy. You know, he, he has lots of
• 26:24
  like we get to live in a place where we get to see our friends
• 26:27
  all the time and there's lots of people coming over and saying hi
• 26:30
  to him like since his birth and he's got good friends at
• 26:36
  preschool. He's he's like life rocks.
• 26:40
  No, he has no idea that I am that I like we that we don't
• 26:45
  have washer dryer in unit, you know, and also it's just like,
• 26:50
  like people kind of shake out what's important to them too.
• 26:55
  I mean, you know, this like after having a kid and washer
• 26:58
  dryer in unit is very important to me, but it wasn't as
• 27:02
  important to me as like living in a place that felt so central
• 27:05
  and so cool. And I love living here.
• 27:09
  I'm living here. Yeah.
• 27:11
  Well, did you, did you always like dream of being a mom or
• 27:16
  like, did you just kind of did it?
• 27:20
  Like, how did the journey to starting a family work for you?
• 27:24
  Was it? Yeah.
• 27:31
  It was like all of a sudden not and then all of a sudden, yes.
• 27:34
  For me. It was all of a sudden I just
• 27:36
  never even really thought about it.
• 27:38
  I, I never even really, I'm I'm glad, I'm glad that eventually I
• 27:42
  started thinking about it because it really was not top of
• 27:45
  mind for so long. I'm, I just, oh wow.
• 27:50
  I, I, I'm just filled with gratitude now, thinking about
• 27:53
  how things have just kind of worked out.
• 27:56
  So naturally after Andy Mack, my now husband and I had started
• 28:00
  dating and it was the match. It fit, it worked out.
• 28:05
  We were like this works. Let's COVID happen, Lockdown
• 28:08
  happened. We were spending time going from
• 28:12
  12 days in his studio to like 12 days at my place with my
• 28:17
  roommate and which is more like their place that I was like
• 28:21
  crashing in right after Andy Mack and and we got our own
• 28:28
  place together. And one day I was like, I want
• 28:35
  baby. That's it.
• 28:37
  Like that's a friend of mine had to make me aware of this.
• 28:41
  I was talking about, I was gushing about how much we love
• 28:44
  our dogs. And she was like, have you had
• 28:47
  the conversation about having a baby?
• 28:51
  And I was like, huh? And she's like, you seem kind of
• 28:53
  ready. This is a.
• 28:56
  Lot of love you were bestowing on your dog, which is good, but,
• 29:01
  but, but, so I brought it up again and I was like, I want, I
• 29:04
  want a kid. Let's see what's going on.
• 29:07
  And, and so then it was we're like, OK, well, we have to get
• 29:09
  married and, and, and I got pregnant sooner than we
• 29:16
  expected. And so we just kind of like
• 29:20
  figured out a married wedding real fast.
• 29:22
  We eloped and it was cool. Our dog was there and, and yeah,
• 29:30
  it, I, I, I feel so lucky I got to really focus on like my
• 29:33
  career years and not think about it 'cause I wasn't thinking
• 29:36
  about it. And then when I was thinking
• 29:39
  about it happened. Cool stuff.
• 29:42
  Yeah, Well, that's great. I mean, I love hearing because
• 29:46
  so many we we always hear the like that women are always want,
• 29:52
  like I've always dreamed of being a mom and I always played
• 29:55
  with my babies and like things like that.
• 29:57
  And I'm like, yeah, we need to hear more about the women who,
• 30:01
  like, aren't thinking about it all the time, you know?
• 30:05
  I'm sure your your listeners already know.
• 30:08
  I'm curious what that was like for you to.
• 30:09
  What was your aspiration? How did that like working with?
• 30:13
  Yeah, it was similar where I guess I never, I never
• 30:19
  consciously thought about it. I'm not a person who's like, OK,
• 30:22
  by 25 I'll do this and by 30 I'll do this XY and Z.
• 30:26
  But like, and it was the same as with my husband before we got
• 30:30
  married. It was just kind of like, Oh
• 30:33
  yeah, we'll get married or we'll just, we'll be together forever.
• 30:38
  This is it. He proposed and then we got
• 30:41
  married and I was like, oh, we'll have a baby, like, oh,
• 30:44
  I'll be a mom at some point. I got like I didn't think of it.
• 30:49
  It wasn't like AI have to be a mom.
• 30:52
  I'm going to do it's kind of like, well, I'll be a mom.
• 30:58
  And so then, but then I was 34, I guess, and both of my sisters
• 31:05
  had a hard time getting pregnant and, and 1 did not get has not
• 31:11
  been pregnant. And so I was like, oh, I guess
• 31:16
  it might be hard. So many people, I feel like more
• 31:20
  of the majority of people struggle with.
• 31:22
  So I was like, oh shit, I guess we should start trying if I want
• 31:27
  to have one at some point. And I'm, you know, mid 30s and
• 31:33
  the moment we tried, we and I was like, well, because I was
• 31:44
  like asking my doctor because I'm like, it's funny because I
• 31:48
  just said I don't really plan, but I was asking my doctor
• 31:51
  because I was like, I want to know how long it's going to take
• 31:54
  because if I start, you know. Yeah.
• 31:57
  Well, have you tried and? I'm like, no.
• 32:01
  That would be the first step. And then we'll see.
• 32:05
  And I was like, I just want to know if it's going to be hard or
• 32:08
  not. And then it answered it for me.
• 32:14
  But yeah, I was very, very lucky.
• 32:16
  And in that sense, it's kind of like, because now thinking, I
• 32:21
  think we're done with one, but now thinking so many people are
• 32:27
  like, well, just cause I've been very on the fence about two.
• 32:33
  And they're like, well, just like whatever happens, happens.
• 32:36
  And I'm like, I don't roll like that with with.
• 32:40
  Having with two, I could roll with that with one.
• 32:43
  Roll with a Just see what happens with a whole other life.
• 32:47
  Like I kind of want an either yes or no.
• 32:52
  I think we're at that point too. I think we are out of whatever
• 32:55
  happens happens point, which is a strange feeling 'cause that is
• 32:59
  a whole nother bedroom. Right.
• 33:03
  No, not necessarily. Not necessarily, though, yeah.
• 33:07
  Also, it's funny when they're a baby, it's like, let's plop them
• 33:11
  more ever, yeah. They just take them around.
• 33:14
  I wish I was more like that, though, with with my first, like
• 33:18
  looking back retrospectively, I'm like, oh, with my first,
• 33:22
  with my only then I'm like, oh, yeah, we didn't like you know
• 33:27
  where they say like when you have a second one, it's more
• 33:31
  like you're a little more chill. I wish I could have been more
• 33:35
  chill. How though?
• 33:37
  I don't know. Are you?
• 33:39
  How was it then when you like, found out that you were pregnant
• 33:44
  and with like auditions or telling your reps, did you have
• 33:50
  any fear with like, oh, I'm not going to work or how how?
• 33:55
  Well I spent most of my pregnancy during the WGA and
• 34:00
  Sega after strikes so I knew I was not going.
• 34:04
  To work, I can't compute like years with like how old kids are
• 34:09
  and then 'cause you know, I feel like since 2020 years are like
• 34:15
  time is very strange. Time isn't real.
• 34:19
  It's just not real. But but yeah, like, so I'm
• 34:24
  sorry. What was that last thing you
• 34:25
  said? I was just saying that's pretty
• 34:27
  good timing though. It rocked.
• 34:32
  I mean, there's so much that didn't rock about that whole
• 34:35
  time. But.
• 34:38
  But yeah, like we, the strikes hadn't happened.
• 34:41
  When I got pregnant, though, I was like, I, I I also was part
• 34:46
  of the the ABC Disney directing program.
• 34:51
  And I was shadowing in my first, shadowing other directors in my
• 34:56
  first trimester. And then I directed my first
• 34:59
  episode of television in my second trimester, like just at
• 35:03
  the very beginning. Thank you.
• 35:07
  Yeah, it was, it was kind of an interesting experience because
• 35:12
  I, I wasn't, I I just chatted with a director friend where she
• 35:16
  was like sick when she was pregnant while she had a
• 35:19
  direction. It sounded just so miserable.
• 35:22
  I was, I was just low level nauseous the whole time.
• 35:25
  And while I was shadowing and it was just like this interesting
• 35:28
  weird thing where like I didn't feel good.
• 35:31
  I didn't have a lot of energy, but I didn't want anybody to
• 35:33
  know yet because it was like too early.
• 35:36
  So just like a lot of like overcompensating and just making
• 35:40
  sure I'm introducing myself to people and, and paying attention
• 35:43
  and just housing a bunch of like straight up ginger water.
• 35:47
  I would just like cut pieces of like raw ginger and put hot
• 35:52
  water over in a thermos and I'd be drinking it all day top to
• 35:56
  bottom. And that's what like kept me.
• 36:00
  Oh boy. I do not do winter as well.
• 36:03
  I'm so cold right now. It's I just can't wait to be
• 36:08
  warm. But like during the winter I
• 36:10
  just kind of go into the state of like immune system 50% and
• 36:15
  then I just there for months and that's just life.
• 36:19
  So when I was pregnant and trying to do this and it was
• 36:23
  winter even in LA, like I was like every single day, just like
• 36:27
  moving through it. But then the spring and summer
• 36:31
  happened and the strikes are in full effect.
• 36:35
  My, my husband, he's in the WGA and he was a strike captain.
• 36:39
  And so I was out on the line to support their union.
• 36:43
  And then Sag joined. And so then I was just out on
• 36:46
  the line for our union. But it was kind of like a really
• 36:52
  magical thing because my baby came late and I was using the
• 36:58
  strike line to just walk him out.
• 37:00
  And he goes like, get get out of here.
• 37:04
  And then where I gave birth was at the hospital that was right
• 37:07
  next to the picket line at Disney.
• 37:11
  I think we're at the same. Providence, Oh my God, I love
• 37:17
  Providence. I love them.
• 37:20
  It was everything. There was so much like that was
• 37:22
  like all of the lines in my life crossing here where my
• 37:27
  dedication to, you know, activism and my baby and my, my
• 37:32
  former employer and I, I remember we got admitted that
• 37:40
  the the night before and in the morning, my husband spent the
• 37:45
  night on the couch and I'm just like riding, you know, waiting,
• 37:49
  waiting for the centimeters to dilate more and the sun's coming
• 37:53
  into my room and he like leans home and he's like Elon, the
• 37:57
  first picketers are coming out and I go, oh, that's great.
• 38:01
  Like, like there was picketing outside when my kid was born,
• 38:07
  you know, like before better, better wages and better
• 38:12
  agreements for the Hollywood industry.
• 38:14
  Like there's something, there's so much magicalness about all of
• 38:18
  that happening. Yeah, I love that.
• 38:23
  That's like, like you said, kind of the the combining of all your
• 38:31
  of all your things when when your son was born.
• 38:37
  Then how did you take any time off or, or what did it look like
• 38:44
  getting back into like auditioning and all of that for
• 38:47
  you? Because, you know, it's, it's
• 38:51
  well, I guess, I guess there's still the strike.
• 38:56
  But there's still the strike now.
• 38:57
  Well, this is a really good opportunity for me to share my
• 39:01
  honest experience. And just like, I mean, Instagram
• 39:06
  will tell anybody that you're crushing it, you know, 'cause
• 39:12
  we, and, and it was wild to me that friends were like, Leon,
• 39:16
  you're killing it. You're crushing it out there.
• 39:18
  And I'm like, I've been at home, you guys, I've been at home.
• 39:22
  So the strike still happened. And, and that was like, it was
• 39:25
  like, honestly, the only thing that we had to take leave from
• 39:28
  is my husband took paternity leave from being a captain, you
• 39:33
  know, because it was a well established system, you know, so
• 39:37
  he had to give notice so somebody else could replace him
• 39:40
  in time and, and understand what was going on at his luck.
• 39:46
  But but we were so blessed that like we weren't tempted with the
• 39:52
  idea of work because there was none to be had, you know, and
• 39:55
  both, both of us had like a savings that like made us not
• 39:59
  feel like so scared. And so we got to be home.
• 40:03
  And we, and these days we're just like a, as you probably
• 40:08
  remember, like a, a, a, a windowless dream, you know,
• 40:14
  where it's like time day was night, night was day and I'm
• 40:16
  waking up every three hours for the breastfeeding or something.
• 40:19
  And, and like we both got to experience that together for a
• 40:23
  lot of it. And then the strikes ended and
• 40:26
  auditions started again. I was doing commercial auditions
• 40:30
  for a while and I would just bring my baby to them.
• 40:33
  I'd try to bring a friend and be like, hey, can you watch the
• 40:35
  baby outside? That's so impossible.
• 40:39
  And I did it. It's so.
• 40:42
  I was like, I can't even imagine like that's.
• 40:48
  I I mean, I like, but, you know, you, you do what you got to
• 40:53
  think. Yeah, like, all moms kind of
• 40:55
  know this, you know, like, and all, all like parents of young
• 40:59
  children, like if they're really involved know this too, where
• 41:02
  it's like you don't know that you're doing impossible things
• 41:05
  like before. Like, I, I mean, I, I couldn't
• 41:08
  even really figure out what a diaper, a diaper change would
• 41:11
  look like on me. I was like, I don't like to
• 41:12
  touch poop. EW, I'm touching poop out here.
• 41:17
  We are touching poop. OK.
• 41:19
  There's no way around it. You got to touch poop sometimes.
• 41:25
  And, and so for like I, I, I'm actually now remembering too,
• 41:28
  like the strikes were still going on when he was a little
• 41:30
  guy and I was like, I'll just bring him to the strike line.
• 41:32
  So I, Ronald, you know, busted out the, the foldable stroller
• 41:36
  and the car seat. Pop in the car seat and here we
• 41:39
  go. Like we're we're taking the baby
• 41:41
  here. I wonder if our strollers ever
• 41:46
  crossed paths on the the Disney. Oh my gosh, I was mostly on
• 41:51
  Netflix, but that's, that would have been so cute.
• 41:58
  But and so for auditions, I was like, well, I don't know what
• 42:00
  else I'm going to do. I just, I guess I just take the
• 42:02
  baby and then, and then I was pretty good for about 6 months
• 42:10
  and then my mental and physical health took a full on nosedive
• 42:14
  and I was like, I was just, I was turning down, I was turning
• 42:17
  on auditions. Like if it's shot out of out of
• 42:21
  the country. I was like, I, I don't see a
• 42:23
  world where I am leaving my family for six months to, to,
• 42:31
  to, to shoot a show in New Zealand.
• 42:33
  I that seems impossible. My I am the food for my baby.
• 42:37
  You know, he and he didn't take formula.
• 42:39
  Like he just didn't like it. And I, I just didn't know how
• 42:41
  that would work. I was able to do a couple of
• 42:43
  things. I directed a couple of projects
• 42:46
  for for nonprofit, Asian American nonprofit that
• 42:53
  mobilizes voters. Yeah.
• 42:56
  And I so, so I did do events and I, I, I did shows in here and
• 43:03
  there, but there was a lot. I just, I just, I had to say no
• 43:09
  to I, I just, I didn't, I couldn't see the world where I
• 43:11
  showed up for it. It was, it was tough.
• 43:13
  I I was dealing with like hormonal changes and like just
• 43:18
  kind of the, the stress I was kind of dealing with like a lot
• 43:21
  of chronic, like body pain, nerve pain that I'm happy to say
• 43:24
  that like is not very much with me now.
• 43:28
  And I'm like working out and feeling and taking dance classes
• 43:31
  and feel fun now. But yeah, that's the truth, you
• 43:35
  know, like people are like, how do you juggle?
• 43:36
  And I was like, well, sometimes I didn't, sometimes I didn't.
• 43:39
  Yeah. Yeah, well, that's the thing.
• 43:42
  It's that so many people are alike.
• 43:46
  I, I feel like I started this podcast trying to feel like, how
• 43:51
  are people balancing it? And it's like, oh, it's not a
• 43:54
  balance. It is a juggle where it's like
• 43:56
  sometimes. You're.
• 43:59
  When you're able to spend lots of times with your baby and it's
• 44:02
  amazing. Sometimes it sucks, sometimes
• 44:05
  you're working a lot, sometimes you're not.
• 44:07
  Like it is a juggling where it's always up and down.
• 44:11
  It's not a balance. So like asking people how
• 44:14
  they're balancing it is not really a question anymore.
• 44:19
  It's more of how are you juggling and what part is and
• 44:23
  and that's interesting. Though that you said that it.
• 44:25
  Was even like after six months, because I feel like people are
• 44:29
  like that, like that kind of like start like that's even more
• 44:35
  of like a harder part because I feel like we hear so much about
• 44:38
  like the very beginning being so hard, which it is.
• 44:42
  But then it's like, Oh, it's also normal if it's harder later
• 44:50
  for people too. Like I've noticed for me, like
• 44:54
  village wise or friend wise, I'm like, Oh, now that she's 3, it's
• 44:59
  actually harder for me because we don't have like the music
• 45:03
  class that we're going to once a week or we don't have like she's
• 45:06
  just full in school. So I'm like, Oh, this is new.
• 45:10
  There's always new things, which and you said your son is in
• 45:15
  preschool or daycare, whatever it is for for 2 1/2 and 3 year
• 45:20
  olds, you know, But how did when did you decide to put him in put
• 45:29
  him in school And what was that like for you?
• 45:33
  I decided when my body. And my mind broke down.
• 45:37
  That was it. You know, I, I, at that point,
• 45:42
  I, my husband was working full time and I was primary and I was
• 45:49
  just having a really tough time, you know, and like, and my
• 45:51
  partner's hands on like, just like like every, every moment he
• 45:57
  wasn't at work, he was like helping, helping me and the kid,
• 46:00
  you know, like he, he really wanted to be as much as possible
• 46:03
  too. And even even still, I was like,
• 46:05
  I, I need assistance. I would have been happy with
• 46:11
  part time, but kind of the, the, the program that was closest to
• 46:16
  us only offered full time. So we're like, let's go with
• 46:20
  that. And, and, and, and we can afford
• 46:23
  it, which is like huge, you know, like I, I, I wish we could
• 46:28
  be like other more advanced countries where the childcare is
• 46:35
  free or, or affordable or whatever.
• 46:37
  And it's not but, but, but for me, it was worth the amount it
• 46:42
  was, It was like worth it. And once I got used to it, I
• 46:47
  didn't want to stop, you know? So I mean, it is, it is kind of
• 46:52
  like a little like like we had to pay for the full time and I
• 46:57
  worked more or less. But on times where I was working
• 47:00
  less and like, it just, it felt like just kind of embarrassing.
• 47:04
  Just like I'm just at home with nothing to dope.
• 47:08
  No, but that's the thing too. I had a hard.
• 47:10
  Time thinking because I have my daughter, my husband works from
• 47:15
  home and we're both in the industry and I love that like
• 47:19
  you also have a husband in the industry who like understands it
• 47:23
  too and like the like again, the balancing Oh my God, the
• 47:27
  flexibility that sometime most of the time you can have or try
• 47:31
  and have but but yeah, me like taking her everyday and then
• 47:36
  being like, OK, well we're going to put her in school and then
• 47:40
  being like, but should I feel bad because I mean technically
• 47:45
  I, I could be with her Oh I should.
• 47:50
  Be with her. But it's like I now that she's
• 47:55
  in school, I don't feel like I'm spending any less time with her.
• 48:00
  I hear that. I really hear that.
• 48:03
  Oh, sorry, I missed the last thing you said.
• 48:04
  No, I'm just saying I feel like that's OK.
• 48:07
  But I was worried about being like, well, I should, you know,
• 48:11
  should spend time with her. But she has, she loves it so
• 48:15
  much too. So yes, well, I really connect
• 48:19
  with this. I honestly, I love full time
• 48:23
  schooling because when we pick him up, we are so present.
• 48:30
  I am present, you know, like and he's got this and he had a big
• 48:34
  day of huge activities. There's things to talk about,
• 48:38
  you know, like I can't just ask my kid, what did you do today?
• 48:41
  If I've been spending all, I know he knows too, But, but
• 48:46
  like, it's, it's great to be able to like have a real present
• 48:52
  morning with them and, and feel like, OK, I'm, I'm preparing
• 48:56
  everything for you and I'm setting you up for a great day.
• 48:58
  And you're going to like have all these great learning
• 49:01
  opportunities that I can't provide as a singular person.
• 49:05
  You know, like I have friends who are kind of more built for,
• 49:09
  for that, you know, like they're, they're, they're built
• 49:12
  to be homeschooling parents. They're, they're, and it's
• 49:15
  great. Their, their mind is active and
• 49:17
  they're like, we're going to do this and we're going to do this
• 49:19
  and then we're going to set up this play date here or whatever.
• 49:21
  And it's just, it's a humbling thing to just be like, OK, I, I,
• 49:26
  I tried it and my mind is really bad at it.
• 49:29
  It's, it's, yeah. And trying to reckon was just
• 49:32
  like, well, I don't think I'm a bad mom, but like, this is how
• 49:36
  I, this is how I work best. This is how I succeed best.
• 49:39
  And then, you know, my, I usually drop him off.
• 49:43
  My husband usually picks him up and and then when he's home,
• 49:45
  then it's like, yay, you know, it's like, it's not like, you
• 49:50
  know, you would, you would take him, you know, like, yeah, it's
• 49:55
  it, it's awesome, you know, and and then we get to do awesome
• 49:59
  things like as a family or, or, and and we also, and it gives us
• 50:03
  the opportunity to have our own lives, you know, like no one's,
• 50:05
  no one's too burnt out. My husband can go perform in a
• 50:10
  show. He performs as well.
• 50:12
  And, or I can, I can have a dinner with friends.
• 50:16
  You know, we can have, we can have dinners with our friends.
• 50:18
  We can still have like, have like, I don't know.
• 50:20
  I I really love what schooling has afforded us as a whole
• 50:25
  family where we all get a chance at our own lives.
• 50:28
  Yeah, I do love that. How you were.
• 50:31
  Saying that when you're able to pick them up and then you're
• 50:34
  more present, like being present in the morning and being present
• 50:38
  in like afternoon evenings with them.
• 50:40
  Whereas like, you know, if you're with them throughout the
• 50:45
  day, everything kind of like bleeds into itself and you have
• 50:49
  to be kind of working and. And they noticed that and it's
• 50:54
  like, well, are you with me? Are you on your phone?
• 50:58
  Are you working? And like, yeah, I love that
• 51:01
  we're able to. Like.
• 51:03
  Sit at the table, like have dinner together and like, like
• 51:07
  you said, talk about your day. You did things that I was not a
• 51:10
  part of. Can you please tell me about it?
• 51:12
  And especially like, you know, obviously yours is only 2 1/2,
• 51:16
  but I'm sure he's I'm sure he's like starting to talk a lot
• 51:21
  more. And it's just so great when they
• 51:23
  start like telling you the things that they're doing and it
• 51:27
  just like gets better and better.
• 51:30
  No, I can't wait. They're so cute.
• 51:34
  What So what made you want to start directing?
• 51:39
  Did that have like, is that something you had always wanted
• 51:43
  to do or was that more of AI find more women when we need
• 51:51
  more women directors for sure that it's like out of almost
• 51:56
  necessity of like not necessarily a career shift, but
• 52:01
  like a little bit more control type of.
• 52:07
  Thing. Whereas acting is a lot less out
• 52:10
  of our control. But how did that start for you?
• 52:16
  I think it started. When I think storyteller tellers
• 52:21
  find a multiple ways to be able to tell stories, you know, and,
• 52:26
  and I love the feeling that acting gives me and I love the
• 52:30
  feeling that directing gives me too.
• 52:32
  It's like I'm creating a story in this way.
• 52:34
  And when I first moved to Hollywood, a big part of my way
• 52:40
  into directing was like, oh, we have to create our own stuff.
• 52:43
  Like that's how anybody gets to see your work, how you get work,
• 52:48
  like how you get like samples of work and and how you get to know
• 52:52
  your voice. Like what as an actor, we're
• 52:56
  responsible for knowing what we bring so we don't get shaken up
• 53:00
  when someone like says, what do we do with you?
• 53:02
  You go, I know exactly what you do with me.
• 53:04
  But but it's, it's such a, it's such a healthy part of being an
• 53:12
  actor is, is creating your own stuff.
• 53:14
  And, and so just making and, and, and sketch comedy gives you
• 53:20
  a world to do that where it doesn't feel like it has to take
• 53:22
  six months. It can take a day and you can
• 53:25
  learn, teach yourself to edit or, or grab a friend who's an
• 53:28
  editor and, and, and just kind of make something happen.
• 53:31
  And it doesn't have to be amazing and it doesn't have to
• 53:33
  be Film Festival worthy. It can just be like, hey, here's
• 53:38
  here's something that goes up on the Internet or it goes up on
• 53:41
  TikTok or whatever. And I was doing that a lot in
• 53:45
  the early days. And companies would kind of find
• 53:51
  who were, quote content creators, people who are making
• 53:54
  sketches on their own and, and being like, Hey, can you just
• 53:57
  make content for us? And I was doing this with my
• 53:59
  friend Wilder and, and we got hired by different companies to
• 54:03
  produce stuff for them. So on, on our own, we learned
• 54:06
  all the things of making a call sheet and making and, and
• 54:10
  assembling A-Team and, and what do we need for props and, and
• 54:13
  breaks? And this is all non union, you
• 54:15
  know, so, so we could kind of do whatever, but something that
• 54:20
  really kind of helps you not exploit your actors is hiring
• 54:22
  all your friends. So we we.
• 54:25
  Were just like we wanted. To make sure that everybody was
• 54:28
  having a good little time and, and getting the meals and
• 54:32
  whatever we could provide with like the meager amount of money
• 54:35
  we had. And, and, and then through that,
• 54:43
  a good friend of mine that I met through the comedy community
• 54:46
  while I was on Andy Mac, He was like, hey, I've got a short,
• 54:49
  it's my passion project. I know it, it starts kids and I
• 54:52
  know that you work with kids and I and I've seen your sketches
• 54:55
  and I think you'd be an appropriate fit.
• 54:58
  And he was so right. He, he was so lucky.
• 55:02
  He took a chance on me and so was I, of course, but but I got
• 55:10
  my first opportunity to do something with like a big budget
• 55:12
  and, or relatively big for for sure.
• 55:16
  And, and I found a new skill. I was like, Oh, I, I know how to
• 55:21
  do this. I, I really respond to this
• 55:24
  well. And from there work big at work.
• 55:27
  I did commercials, I did children's content and with that
• 55:32
  collection of material, I was able to apply to the Disney
• 55:34
  directing program who had already made connections with
• 55:36
  because of Andy Mac and and and so like culmination,
• 55:40
  culmination, culmination. I I got to DIRECTV.
• 55:42
  Yeah, I just. I love hearing more about like
• 55:47
  women doing getting into directing because I'm like, I
• 55:55
  feel like the more that we see it, the more that women will
• 55:59
  continue to do more starting. I'm like, I'm so at the point
• 56:03
  where I'm like, I don't, I don't know, like I wouldn't even know
• 56:07
  where to begin. So it's nice to like, you know,
• 56:12
  see that and and have other women like the more women that
• 56:19
  we could see, the more women will continue to do it.
• 56:23
  And we need more women directors, which is totally.
• 56:26
  Well, two people, I. Find really inspiring are two of
• 56:29
  your former guests, Annie and Diana, who are writing partners
• 56:34
  and and and and creators of film that specifically pertains to
• 56:40
  women's issues and stuff. And and being and moms like
• 56:44
  hello, you know, and like I I there's something kind of cool
• 56:50
  here of like being a mom puts you through the experience of
• 56:56
  like, oh, I do all these things that I didn't know that I could.
• 56:59
  So if you could like swap out, just quote things that what the
• 57:04
  things are, you know, like now you know, you are a person who
• 57:09
  can do all kinds of things that you had no idea, you know.
• 57:12
  So like easily that could if if you were to start directing a
• 57:17
  project, if you were to create it, you at least know you have
• 57:21
  the capacity, you've done it before.
• 57:23
  It's just the things are different.
• 57:26
  That's such an interesting. Way to look at it yeah, that's
• 57:28
  so true that you yeah, we do like you.
• 57:33
  You know what your. Endurance is like, you know what
• 57:35
  your flexibility is like you know what your management is,
• 57:39
  is, is capable of, you know, and if there is everybody has to
• 57:47
  start somewhere. Everybody has to start with one
• 57:49
  project. You know, like no one is like a
• 57:52
  genius or an expert unless I guess you're a, a nepotism, I
• 57:56
  guess. And then you're just set up for
• 57:59
  success and you don't fail and you do a great job and then,
• 58:02
  then, then you're fine. But we're we're so like for for
• 58:09
  for a lot of people who don't have that Ave. it's it's just
• 58:14
  like, yeah, I I think we get like scared too.
• 58:17
  I I know I do even with all like the stuff I've done.
• 58:20
  I've just been like, OK, what is it like to return to Ground Zero
• 58:22
  and want to do something that is my voice again, you know, and,
• 58:26
  and I'm now I'm, I'm working on a new project with the same
• 58:29
  friend who asked me to direct his film.
• 58:32
  And we're, we're doing it all over again.
• 58:34
  And all the, all that same stuff is coming up, especially a
• 58:37
  couple of years out of having directed a project being like,
• 58:44
  could I could, I am, I could, I really could I, you know, but
• 58:49
  the, the truth is, is that it, Oh, it's, it's as likely the
• 58:54
  project is, is going to be as likely to happen as whoever just
• 58:58
  wants to do it. It's not the most talented
• 59:00
  person. It's not the, it's not the
• 59:02
  person who has the best ideas. It's not the person who's the
• 59:06
  most, who's the best at it. It's just the person who wants
• 59:09
  to do it. And then it gets done, you know?
• 59:14
  And if you have a baby, then you're just kind of.
• 59:16
  Forced to want to do it. You just have to do it and then
• 59:19
  you do it. And then.
• 59:21
  So I don't know, I feel like there's some way we can trick
• 59:23
  our little brains here and being like, hey, I want to do this
• 59:27
  project and now I just have to do it and then we'll get done.
• 59:31
  Yeah, yeah. No, it's so true.
• 59:34
  It's very true. OK, Well, OK, so we have to get
• 59:38
  to shrinking because of course. So OK, my first question is a
• 59:47
  random one, but it's so funny that like how on earth are you
• 59:53
  supposed to have like a college, an almost college age daughter
• 59:56
  where in like in real life you have a 2 year old.
• 59:59
  Like isn't that so wild? It's crazy, but you know, I'm
• 1:00:04
  in. On Andy Mack, I I had a teen
• 1:00:06
  daughter too. You know, this is what I do now.
• 1:00:08
  I know and well, and that too you're like.
• 1:00:11
  How? How do they think age works?
• 1:00:17
  Oh, that's so funny. Well.
• 1:00:19
  I I did the math in my head, honestly, and I was like, oh, I
• 1:00:22
  would have been, I would have been really early 20s.
• 1:00:25
  I would have been really early. It it works.
• 1:00:27
  It works. Oh, yeah.
• 1:00:29
  OK, Well, we don't have to. Actually do.
• 1:00:32
  But like, I don't care. I don't.
• 1:00:34
  Care. I'm 40, all right, whatever,
• 1:00:37
  like but but but I I actually was curious about does all this
• 1:00:44
  and and Jason and I are not too. Jason Segel and I are not too
• 1:00:47
  far in age from each other. He's older than me.
• 1:00:51
  I forget by how much now, but but it's like, OK, if we were in
• 1:00:54
  our early 20s, this this all could have worked out.
• 1:00:57
  But I look great. You very much do, but it looks
• 1:01:03
  so good. So where were is?
• 1:01:07
  When did you start shooting, When did that job because
• 1:01:12
  obviously it would have to have backed up, Where did that fall
• 1:01:17
  in you having Ren right? Good question, the first.
• 1:01:21
  Season he wasn't even an idea. First season I was like 3 and
• 1:01:27
  then by the time season 2 happened I think I had already
• 1:01:31
  had him. Oh yeah, there was quite a time.
• 1:01:35
  Between, I guess, yeah, because of the strikes, yeah.
• 1:01:38
  And. So I I had a full on baby in
• 1:01:41
  between season. That's so.
• 1:01:45
  Wild. So what?
• 1:01:46
  So obviously you had already been established as that
• 1:01:52
  character. They're not like there's no like
• 1:01:55
  fear of being switched out that I would think of.
• 1:01:59
  But was there even like a conversation about like, oh,
• 1:02:03
  I've had a kid. I guess not.
• 1:02:06
  Yeah. It it doesn't seem relevant.
• 1:02:07
  I I kind. Of, you know, I had it was more
• 1:02:11
  or less my sizes like I, I was, I was a couple sizes bigger, but
• 1:02:15
  that that's awesome for me. You know, I'm, I'm a shrimpy
• 1:02:18
  little person. And so I was like, all right, I
• 1:02:20
  like, I like rocking with a little extra.
• 1:02:23
  And now I'm back to being my little shrimpy self.
• 1:02:24
  I thought forever I was going to have cleavage.
• 1:02:26
  No, that went away. That's fine.
• 1:02:30
  But but yeah, it was just like, like the honestly, the the
• 1:02:33
  biggest deal was I had cut my hair.
• 1:02:36
  The biggest deal was I cut. So I'm wearing extensions in
• 1:02:42
  seasons two and three. I'm wearing like I'm, I'm
• 1:02:46
  wearing extra hair. That's so funny.
• 1:02:49
  Yeah. That's.
• 1:02:51
  Crazy that like your. Whole life can shift in reality
• 1:02:57
  like between two seasons where there's like no time in between.
• 1:03:02
  But did your? As I've said, I cry at almost
• 1:03:08
  every episode. Did your perspective at all
• 1:03:13
  change? You're a dead mom.
• 1:03:16
  I am a dead mom, I mean. You don't play that, you're
• 1:03:20
  dead. But you have passed in the show.
• 1:03:23
  You're not a ghost mom for anybody who hasn't seen the
• 1:03:28
  show, you're living on a rock and you have to watch it now.
• 1:03:31
  But but did that change your perspective at all since after
• 1:03:39
  becoming a mom, did it make did it make you watch the show or
• 1:03:46
  view it any differently as like a mom is?
• 1:03:50
  You know what it did it it. Made me hope for more scenes
• 1:03:54
  between me and and Lukita, the actress who plays my daughter.
• 1:03:57
  Because I was, you know, what'd you say?
• 1:04:00
  I said I want. That too, I want that.
• 1:04:02
  Too I it. Could it could still could
• 1:04:05
  happen a lot. It's it's kind of interesting
• 1:04:06
  when you live in in on a completely different timeline
• 1:04:10
  that the show takes place where it's they didn't like have to
• 1:04:13
  bring me back. They they never do, but they
• 1:04:17
  could, they could, they could I could be back a lot.
• 1:04:19
  I could be back a little and I have no idea, you know, but,
• 1:04:27
  but, but like, once I got it, like it in my body of like, Oh
• 1:04:32
  yeah. Like I was like, oh, I'd love to
• 1:04:34
  be able to exercise what this feeling is, you know, for
• 1:04:39
  camera, you know, it, it, it when I did Andy Mac and I had a
• 1:04:45
  13 year old daughter, it was different because the whole
• 1:04:49
  premise was that I hadn't been around, you know, and, and we
• 1:04:52
  were essentially sisters 'cause that's what the family had told
• 1:04:56
  her. The and, and so being like, to
• 1:05:01
  really be able to actually say, I'm not your mother, I'm your
• 1:05:05
  sister, I'm not your sister, I'm your mother.
• 1:05:08
  Cool, cool thing to say on camera.
• 1:05:12
  But like, it kind of worked because the show was really
• 1:05:15
  about us trying to figure out how we could be a daughter and a
• 1:05:18
  mother to each other. And so, and since we were
• 1:05:20
  meeting and, and I'm still close with that actress to this day
• 1:05:24
  too, we kind of, we were developing this relationship on
• 1:05:28
  and off screen and it was really special.
• 1:05:31
  And it was really different from just kind of jumping in and just
• 1:05:33
  like being like, Oh yeah, I've always kind of did this.
• 1:05:35
  And, and, and like Lukina, I do have these cute scenes in, in
• 1:05:41
  season 1 where we're playing around like, and like, it makes
• 1:05:44
  sense. But it's like, I would love to
• 1:05:46
  kind of see what a fight like between us feels like, because
• 1:05:50
  it would feel different from a fight that you have with your
• 1:05:52
  sister, a fight that you have with like a, a kid, you know,
• 1:05:56
  like if it's your offspring, I kind of know how that feels
• 1:05:59
  because like for me, the experience would be like, I'd be
• 1:06:03
  fighting myself too, you know, And it's like, oh, that's
• 1:06:07
  different. So I'm, I'm excited for the
• 1:06:09
  opportunity, whether it happens on shrinking or perhaps in
• 1:06:12
  another show or whatever, to be able to express what the, the
• 1:06:17
  innate knowledge that I have now.
• 1:06:19
  Yeah, yeah. It's.
• 1:06:21
  So I definitely, if the writers are listening, I they want your
• 1:06:30
  character to come back because of the the amount that they talk
• 1:06:34
  about you too. Obviously you're huge.
• 1:06:37
  They talk about me a lot. Yeah, you're a.
• 1:06:40
  Huge part of the. Show where it's like I would
• 1:06:42
  like to, I would like to see you, your character a lot more.
• 1:06:48
  Thank you. Me too.
• 1:06:50
  Yeah. All right, writers.
• 1:06:52
  We'll, we'll, we'll. We'll, we'll, we'll grab just
• 1:06:55
  this. Excerpt and and put it on the
• 1:06:58
  exactly. This is the only clip I'm.
• 1:07:00
  Using for the entire and and to be clear, this is bullying.
• 1:07:03
  This is bullying, if it wasn't obvious.
• 1:07:09
  Of OK, so now OK, oh gosh, I have to wrap you up, but I want
• 1:07:15
  you to tell me about your new podcast.
• 1:07:18
  Yay. A project that I started last
• 1:07:23
  year was I really am just kind of the most organic way where I
• 1:07:28
  was like, oh, I can like deep dive really well with people in
• 1:07:36
  my life. And I'm good at figuring out
• 1:07:39
  kind of who wants to deep dive now, you know, And a friend of
• 1:07:46
  mine who has a podcast company, he was like, Hey, I'd really
• 1:07:50
  like to start a project with you.
• 1:07:51
  And I was like, I want people to hear these special conversations
• 1:07:53
  that I'm having with people and they're all like, and they're,
• 1:07:57
  because they're not surface. They're always about like what's
• 1:08:00
  underneath? They're, we, we, we talk about
• 1:08:05
  things that you kind of hit on like, you know, day three of
• 1:08:09
  your, of your cabin trip with your buds, you know, like, and
• 1:08:15
  so my podcast is called Ponder stations.
• 1:08:18
  It's a portmanteau. And I, I, I choose people who I
• 1:08:24
  believe can get deep really quickly.
• 1:08:27
  And so far I've been really right.
• 1:08:30
  And what's extra cool is that my first two guests on the
• 1:08:35
  episodes, one got released last week and one is being released
• 1:08:37
  today. Are people from shrinking?
• 1:08:41
  Oh yes, yes. And it was just.
• 1:08:43
  Like. Devin, who plays Charlie, he and
• 1:08:48
  I are neighbors and we found out.
• 1:08:49
  So we became friends and I was like, OK, you got to come on my
• 1:08:53
  podcast. And then Luke Tenney, who plays
• 1:08:56
  Sean, we only like kind of just got a chatted up like in between
• 1:09:01
  like table reads like here and there.
• 1:09:03
  But I was like, something about him tells me that like, we are
• 1:09:08
  friends and we, he would be really, really good for this.
• 1:09:12
  And so those are the 1st 2 out right now.
• 1:09:16
  But I, I talked to my daughter from Andy Mac.
• 1:09:21
  I talked to a friend I've had for like 25 years who is a poet
• 1:09:26
  and an installation creator. I talked to like another friend
• 1:09:29
  who we've been doing activism together and she's a pro roller
• 1:09:32
  skater and she's, she's a celebrity photographer and
• 1:09:35
  everybody like brings their like vibe.
• 1:09:38
  And in the podcast, we both kind of find our own vibe together.
• 1:09:42
  It's really cool. That's so fun.
• 1:09:45
  I do. I like the way you said that
• 1:09:47
  it's like the third, the third day in of a cabin trip where
• 1:09:51
  you're like, now we're getting into it now we're we're maybe,
• 1:09:56
  maybe a a couple glasses in and yes, a couple glasses in a.
• 1:10:02
  Good way to describe it. This is good.
• 1:10:05
  Something I found that I like that I could use more practices
• 1:10:09
  in framing. I'm like, yeah, it's kind of
• 1:10:11
  like a little bit like this and this.
• 1:10:13
  But yeah, you're right, You're right.
• 1:10:14
  It's like it's third day cabin trip, couple glasses in.
• 1:10:17
  Let's go. Let's talk about the real stuff.
• 1:10:19
  Yeah, no, I love that. That's that's such a great
• 1:10:23
  premise for because that's what we want to like or.
• 1:10:28
  Speak for myself when I listen to.
• 1:10:29
  Podcasts like that's what I want to hear.
• 1:10:31
  I want to hear, I don't want to hear like the same thing people
• 1:10:34
  have been talking about on, you know, just the interview, right?
• 1:10:40
  It's like like it is and and I had a kind.
• 1:10:42
  Of like Prime, my guests who are entertainment being like, this
• 1:10:45
  is not like your highlights. This is like, and like this will
• 1:10:50
  be frustrating for shrinking fans.
• 1:10:51
  But in, in both episodes, we barely touch upon it, you know,
• 1:10:56
  like, 'cause it's, it's person to person, you know, it's like
• 1:10:58
  real, it's, it's real stuff. And I don't know, I, I just, I
• 1:11:04
  get so much out. I, I feel like I have learned
• 1:11:06
  something from every episode. And so I was like, I wonder if
• 1:11:10
  other people can learn stuff too.
• 1:11:11
  I don't know. So there it is.
• 1:11:13
  It's out in the world. Yeah, I feel like.
• 1:11:17
  Maybe you feel similar when you meet other moms where you're
• 1:11:23
  like I feel like I get straight into like OK, were you were you
• 1:11:28
  nursing? Do your does your baby sleep
• 1:11:30
  like I like straight into the like what did you do?
• 1:11:33
  How are you paying rent? Are you what's happening?
• 1:11:37
  Yes, exactly why I. Started.
• 1:11:41
  Mommy, would we like to? Yeah, ask the questions that
• 1:11:45
  were like, can I ask this also like, yeah.
• 1:11:49
  Like, you know, time, even though like I've got the luxury
• 1:11:53
  right now of the, the daycare time has become so precious.
• 1:11:57
  So it's just like we don't have time to, to go.
• 1:11:59
  Well, what's, what have you been working on?
• 1:12:02
  You know, like I, what have you been?
• 1:12:05
  I've been working on my mental health.
• 1:12:06
  OK, let's talk about it. Yeah, exactly.
• 1:12:12
  Yeah. Well, have you OK my final
• 1:12:15
  question then for you, if you if you had any advice to give to
• 1:12:20
  like your younger self, either pre baby or or just something
• 1:12:27
  you want like advice that you would give.
• 1:12:31
  Let's go. Oh my gosh.
• 1:12:34
  What advice would you? Or what would you want to say to
• 1:12:38
  your pre baby self? I would say don't.
• 1:12:43
  Change a thing. You're doing just fine.
• 1:12:46
  Like I think I just didn't hear that enough.
• 1:12:48
  I was, I would say just don't be stressing.
• 1:12:50
  Don't be stressing. You're stressing yourself out.
• 1:12:53
  You're stressing everybody else out.
• 1:12:55
  You're stressing out out over here.
• 1:12:57
  Like, you know, life goes on and it will like, and that's
• 1:13:01
  something that like anybody, baby or no baby can say to
• 1:13:03
  themselves. I think, you know, like it just
• 1:13:05
  feels the, the moment always feels so urgent to me.
• 1:13:10
  And I, I got to re remind myself of this, you know, we'll have
• 1:13:13
  this podcast again in 10 years and you'll be like, what are you
• 1:13:16
  going to offer you as a young mom?
• 1:13:19
  What would you say to yourself? And I bet you like, I would say
• 1:13:24
  the same thing of just like, girl, you are stressing.
• 1:13:27
  Do not stress. Like we got to remind ourselves
• 1:13:30
  of this every single day because it turns out life does like the
• 1:13:34
  sun does rise again, you know, life does continue.
• 1:13:39
  And like you were saying earlier it, it's like the things that
• 1:13:42
  our kids remember are not how tidy the house was and not how
• 1:13:48
  many auditions were going on. For sure.
• 1:13:51
  We're the only people remembering that.
• 1:13:54
  But they're, but they, they will remember if mom and Dad were
• 1:13:57
  stressed, you know, like they would like if out of anything,
• 1:14:03
  they'll remember kind of like the stuff that we are not aware
• 1:14:06
  of, you know. So I'm going to say that to
• 1:14:09
  myself for her back then. And I'm going to say that to
• 1:14:12
  myself again right now because I could use a reminder every
• 1:14:15
  single day. Yeah.
• 1:14:17
  Yeah, 'cause even. If they, even if we're not like
• 1:14:20
  vocalizing the things that we're stressing about, they can tell
• 1:14:25
  when I'm, when it's just like put on your shoes.
• 1:14:27
  Like just get your shoes. Oh, we got to get out of the
• 1:14:29
  house. Just put your shoes on.
• 1:14:31
  And then it's like, oh, they want to literally stop and pick
• 1:14:35
  this flower for you. And you're like, oh, yeah, you
• 1:14:39
  want to let them stop and like literally stop and smell the
• 1:14:45
  like. There's such a good reminder
• 1:14:47
  too, of like, oh, I'm not in a rush.
• 1:14:52
  Like it's the only thing that's in a rush.
• 1:14:56
  Is like the whole imagined life outside of them, you know, but
• 1:15:00
  like, there's nothing that we give them by rushing them,
• 1:15:03
  especially not at this age. You know, my, my kid, he likes
• 1:15:09
  to count all the numbers on the car seat before he gets in.
• 1:15:12
  Like the there's like different settings like from 1:00 to 9:00
• 1:15:16
  that you can adjust the angle. And like before I was like, come
• 1:15:20
  on, kiddo. And I just pick him up and I put
• 1:15:22
  him in there and I'd snap him and he'd like my numbers, you
• 1:15:26
  know, like, and it, and I'm like, why, why am I not just
• 1:15:30
  taking a little? And because it's just like, it's
• 1:15:32
  just like, because we're not used to just like a break in our
• 1:15:35
  flow like that, you know, but it's like, why am I just not
• 1:15:38
  letting it just sit there patiently for like the 43
• 1:15:41
  seconds it takes, you know, sometimes not that long.
• 1:15:44
  He just has to go 123. And so he's and then he feels
• 1:15:48
  awesome. And then I put him on those car
• 1:15:49
  seat and then we listen to her the Spider Man theme song on the
• 1:15:52
  way to daycare and it's great. Yeah, no.
• 1:15:55
  That's so true that I've noticed too.
• 1:15:58
  If I just like like for bedtime, if I just like don't rush her to
• 1:16:04
  go to bed. It's so much easier because when
• 1:16:08
  I'm like, I just want you to go to bed so I can sit down and but
• 1:16:12
  then I'm like, if I just like sit and wait for her to kind of
• 1:16:17
  come to me, she'll do her thing and go to bed.
• 1:16:21
  And then I end up like looking at videos of her when she goes
• 1:16:25
  to bed anyway. So totally.
• 1:16:26
  Yeah, you're like, thank goodness you're in.
• 1:16:28
  Bed. Now I'm just going to look at
• 1:16:29
  videos of you all for the next two hours.
• 1:16:31
  What did you do at school today? Oh my.
• 1:16:33
  Gosh, for real, I. I do kind of want to add on that
• 1:16:37
  too, just kind of get into the the the mommy specifics of it
• 1:16:40
  too. I think people stress out a lot
• 1:16:42
  about sleeping and sleep training and, and, and for sure
• 1:16:47
  every kid is different. Like there are some kids whose
• 1:16:50
  best life is at like 7:30 PM. Parents are like lights off
• 1:16:55
  kiddo and they're like they scream for 5 minutes and they're
• 1:16:58
  out. And it works for the family and
• 1:17:00
  it is and it rocks. But like for me, I read books on
• 1:17:03
  sleep training and I was like, OK, I guess we got to start like
• 1:17:06
  my husband, they were like, OK, I don't know how to do it and
• 1:17:09
  whatever. So we so we did it kind of like
• 1:17:11
  the, the way the book suggested, which is, you know, some version
• 1:17:15
  parents out there know about Ferber.
• 1:17:17
  It's the word Ferber, you know, Ferber rising or whatever it is.
• 1:17:21
  And we did it for a week and, and then he kind of like, and
• 1:17:26
  you know, it's kind of miserable those first 3 days and then, and
• 1:17:30
  then you slept and then, you know, we travelled and then that
• 1:17:32
  was all back. But then, but it's not a deal
• 1:17:34
  like some of these books that I was reading that it was just
• 1:17:37
  like, don't ever travel, don't do it.
• 1:17:39
  And just like no travel. And it was such like a light
• 1:17:43
  bulb for kind of that happened so naturally that we were like,
• 1:17:47
  well, when is he tired? You know, and he's naturally
• 1:17:52
  tired at 8:30, which is like between 8:00 and 8:30, which is
• 1:17:56
  so much later than like most kids his age.
• 1:17:58
  But that's when he's tired. So why like spend all the stress
• 1:18:01
  trying to just be like, you gotta go to bed?
• 1:18:04
  Like, who cares? You know, like he's tired at
• 1:18:06
  8:30. And the cool part is that then
• 1:18:08
  like he wakes up at 8. You know, sometimes not all the
• 1:18:12
  time, not all the time, but like, but it was just like, oh,
• 1:18:17
  they have information to give us.
• 1:18:19
  It's not just about us setting up everything.
• 1:18:23
  Sometimes, like the best book on how to train your child is the
• 1:18:26
  actual child. You know, they're filled with
• 1:18:29
  information. They're filled with important
• 1:18:31
  information that you can know about how to how to get them to
• 1:18:34
  eat, how to get them to sleep, how to get them to bathe.
• 1:18:37
  You know, like spending some time just studying that book
• 1:18:40
  real good. Yeah.
• 1:18:42
  I'm like I would tell. Myself don't read books, don't
• 1:18:47
  read the parenting books because like we did the Ferber method
• 1:18:52
  when she was like 4 months or like a baby and like she did
• 1:18:56
  great and it was easy and like that's because that works for
• 1:19:02
  her then I read some book about like potty training tried that
• 1:19:07
  didn't happen did not apply this isn't going to happen and then
• 1:19:10
  I. Waited six months.
• 1:19:12
  Didn't do any book stuff. And she was like, I got this and
• 1:19:19
  it was easy. And I was like, Oh yeah,
• 1:19:23
  parenting books are a little stupid.
• 1:19:27
  Well, because it's like one parent writes it.
• 1:19:29
  Yeah, they, they know exactly about one kid.
• 1:19:33
  You know, you, you get some wild, wild people out there
• 1:19:35
  like, oh, what's her name? Emily Oster, who's who's like a
• 1:19:38
  data person who's like, I've looked at the data.
• 1:19:40
  This is what the data says, you know, And even then, even then,
• 1:19:44
  you know, like for people who like data, I think that that can
• 1:19:46
  kind of feel like a calming thing.
• 1:19:48
  But truly, the best thing that a book can give you is just like a
• 1:19:51
  sense of calm of like for people who like information.
• 1:19:55
  Yeah. And also everybody out there,
• 1:19:57
  just like every mom is on scrutiny.
• 1:19:58
  Like anybody who writes a book on baby stuff is, is going to
• 1:20:02
  come into like, well, you know, so like just at the end of the
• 1:20:07
  day, like your child is filled with all kinds of information if
• 1:20:10
  we bother to listen, You know, I like, I and I really had to hold
• 1:20:15
  myself back a lot. I realize like a lot of the
• 1:20:18
  things that are coming out, don't touch that, don't do that
• 1:20:19
  where we're like straight from my mom, you know?
• 1:20:23
  And like, just being like, OK, how can I just watch him?
• 1:20:29
  So raising him is like a two-part deal when I'm raising
• 1:20:35
  him, like, you know, maybe he touches some dirty things and
• 1:20:39
  then we go and wash his hands. Maybe that can be an option.
• 1:20:43
  All right. Maybe it's not just about like
• 1:20:44
  dirty dirty don't touch The Dirty things, you know, like now
• 1:20:50
  we're we're re parenting our ourselves is.
• 1:20:54
  What it is and it's like, oh, oh, I heard that.
• 1:20:58
  I heard re parenting. And now I'm like, oh,
• 1:21:01
  interesting. Yeah, Oh yeah, it is.
• 1:21:07
  It is wild. It is wild that there's also no
• 1:21:13
  like prerequisite for becoming a parent.
• 1:21:16
  It is now pretty legacy. Just got to.
• 1:21:18
  Get knocked out the wild Wild West.
• 1:21:22
  That's all it is. Some people, some people can
• 1:21:25
  have some planning into it. They have some intention, you
• 1:21:29
  know, and for some people it's very expensive and they're going
• 1:21:32
  to get it and they're going to do it right.
• 1:21:33
  And it's all good and stuff like that.
• 1:21:35
  And, and some people are like, OK, here you go, you're a parent
• 1:21:38
  now. That's it.
• 1:21:41
  Yeah. Preston and I, my husband and I
• 1:21:43
  started. Saying like, are we used to?
• 1:21:45
  I'm going to start saying it again.
• 1:21:48
  This is my first rodeo. This is my This is my look.
• 1:21:52
  This is my first rodeo. Yeah, I'm just trying here.
• 1:21:56
  We're dressed so good. That's so.
• 1:21:59
  Good, well this is I can. Talk to you for so much longer,
• 1:22:03
  but I've already kept you so long.
• 1:22:05
  This has been such a delight, thank you.
• 1:22:08
  Same. Thank you.
• 1:22:10
  So much for. Listening to this episode of
• 1:22:13
  Mommy Wood. Now before you go, if Mommy Wood
• 1:22:16
  feels like a place you belong, I want to invite you to join the
• 1:22:19
  Village, which is our Mommy Wood Patreon community.
• 1:22:23
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• 1:22:28
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• 1:22:31
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• 1:22:36
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• 1:22:40
  show has ever made you feel seen, supported, or less alone,
• 1:22:43
  I'd love for you to join The Village on Patreon.
• 1:22:47
  The link to the Patreon is in the show notes.
• 1:22:50
  I want to give a huge thank you to my producer and good friend
• 1:22:53
  Cecilia for making Mommy Wood what it is and to Edith Mudge
• 1:22:58
  for the Mommy Wood theme music. As always, thank you for being a
• 1:23:02
  part of Mommy Wood. Please come be a part of the
• 1:23:06
  village as well. I hope to see you there.
• 1:23:08
  I. Need you to wait with what?