Latest / He's Hot but Something's Off... / HHBSO 131: Empathy

Transcript

HHBSO 131: Empathy · He's Hot but Something's Off...

• 0:02
  Hello and welcome to He's hot, but some things are had a little
• 0:08
  bit of a scare just now. I was going to hit record on the
• 0:14
  camera as I usually do for the video version of the podcast,
• 0:17
  which is always available on my YouTube channel.
• 0:20
  Just Joey T and I I turn the camera on and then I was like,
• 0:24
  oh, I'm thirsty, I'm going to go grab a glass of water.
• 0:27
  So when I came back and I was going to go back to the camera
• 0:31
  hit record on the screen of my brand new camera.
• 0:34
  So there shouldn't be anything wrong with it.
• 0:36
  I only got this camera like a few months ago on the screen it
• 0:39
  said error reading memory card. Now I haven't recorded yet
• 0:44
  right, but the freaky thing about that is literally
• 0:47
  yesterday I just had this random plot like I'm about to go on
• 0:51
  this trip and the video footage from that I'm going to capture
• 0:56
  on this trip. It's very mission critical, like
• 0:59
  if there was anything that could jeopardize the footage that was
• 1:05
  going to get, IE maybe a slightly dodgy slightly worn
• 1:09
  memory card. Like that is absolutely not
• 1:11
  acceptable. And even if I have to pay like
• 1:15
  100 bucks or whatever for like a brand new card, the card I use
• 1:18
  is a little more expensive. That would be the best $100 I
• 1:20
  ever spent if for some reason my current memory card is starting
• 1:23
  to go South. So it was ironic at this slot
• 1:27
  yesterday, like, oh, the memory card in the cameras, Like I've
• 1:30
  had that for quite a while. Should I just like get a, get a
• 1:35
  backup one, like just in case? Because if I'm on this trip and
• 1:40
  I'm on this cruise ship and like day one, I'm on board and the
• 1:44
  memory card craps out like I'm effed.
• 1:47
  Like, where am I gonna? There's nowhere for me to buy a
• 1:49
  memory card on a cruise ship, so I'm going to put it onto and you
• 1:53
  know what? Hey Google, remind me in one
• 1:57
  hour to buy a new memory card. OK, I'll remind you to buy a new
• 2:02
  memory card in one hour. Anyways, the thing I wanted to
• 2:08
  talk about, and I have a specific topic for today, which
• 2:12
  is unusual I know, is empathy. And I want to start off with a
• 2:19
  story from my college days. And me and some friends we had
• 2:26
  went out to the clubs one night and we didn't go super hard,
• 2:32
  super late. But it was like, I don't know,
• 2:36
  2-2 or three AM. And there was a Denny's nearby
• 2:40
  that was 24 hours. And we didn't go to the Denny's
• 2:43
  very often, but it was like, oh, we're going to go to Denny's and
• 2:46
  just like have a, have a light snack, just like post club, you
• 2:50
  know, sometimes you get the munchies out to go into the
• 2:51
  club. So we're at this Denny's at like
• 2:54
  2:00 or 3:00 AM and one of our friends has Tourette's.
• 3:02
  So we were there. And if you don't know about the
• 3:06
  condition, what that one of the symptoms or behaviors is that,
• 3:11
  you know, you might have involuntary trenches, muscle
• 3:15
  movement or speech. So we were there with Saxena's
• 3:20
  booth and in the next booth over there was like some group of
• 3:23
  guys, like two or three guys. Long story short, they hurt our
• 3:29
  friends, they hurt our friend hat turret, you know, with the
• 3:33
  involuntary speech and some of the things.
• 3:35
  And this group of guys found it annoying and they basically
• 3:39
  started making fun of our friend.
• 3:41
  So obviously the rest of us was like outraged and we actually
• 3:44
  well, we were about to leave anyways and we didn't want to
• 3:46
  stay there, but we made sure to like tell the restaurant staff
• 3:49
  like hey, like this group of guys was being like just
• 3:53
  literally very rude and like they should be mind their own
• 3:56
  fucking business. You know, at that time we were
• 3:59
  like all colleges. We were like what, 20 ish, 21
• 4:03
  years old and as you grow and as you mature and you have more
• 4:09
  life experience and you know, people develop, well, most
• 4:13
  people develop and they grow up and they mature.
• 4:15
  You know, looking back on that now, that group of guys, I don't
• 4:19
  know how old they were. They were probably, I mean they
• 4:22
  didn't look that young, honestly.
• 4:24
  I have empathy for them in the sense that, you know, what if
• 4:28
  they knew about that condition, maybe more on a personal level,
• 4:31
  maybe if they had interacted with someone that had that
• 4:34
  condition, they would actually understand.
• 4:37
  It's not necessarily because they are, you know, bad people,
• 4:40
  horrible people. Were they making fun of my
• 4:44
  friend? Yes.
• 4:46
  But I view that more as, you know, if they had more first
• 4:52
  hand experience and knowledge of that condition, like they would
• 4:56
  not have been, they would not have done that.
• 4:58
  And, you know, it's very easy to like, latch out at people these
• 5:03
  days, you know, with social media and everything.
• 5:06
  When I was in therapy earlier this year, one of the things
• 5:09
  that we talked about wasn't specifically about empathy, was
• 5:12
  about something else. I don't think it's one of his
• 5:14
  clients. I think it's just like some
• 5:16
  story and like therapist circles or something.
• 5:19
  But basically, someone was killed by like a criminal.
• 5:25
  And the families of the loved ones of the victim, they found
• 5:29
  it somehow in their hearts to like, forgive the murderer,
• 5:36
  dude. Like the regular person.
• 5:37
  I think that's very hard to comprehend, at least at first
• 5:43
  glance. Like your family member died
• 5:46
  because of like this person who killed your loved one.
• 5:49
  How can you still like, forgive that person?
• 5:52
  I think the way we were talking about that in my therapy
• 5:54
  session, the theme was that, you know, your thoughts control your
• 5:57
  emotions. So that was kind of sort of the
• 5:59
  thing I was working on with my therapist.
• 6:00
  But he just brought up this, like kind of extreme example of
• 6:03
  this particular case, that it was within my mind, it was
• 6:08
  within my control to control the thoughts of my own brain, which
• 6:13
  leads to how I feel with my emotions.
• 6:17
  But you know, empathy can take a lot of forms and start to think
• 6:20
  about all of this because like a couple of days ago I was on my
• 6:24
  just to we travels Instagram. It's pretty new Instagram
• 6:27
  accounts when we got like a few 100 followers.
• 6:29
  I'm slowly building up the business, right?
• 6:31
  And part of it is social media and doing things.
• 6:33
  And one of the things I like to post are little clips from the
• 6:38
  Gay Cruise and Travel podcast. And there's one little clip that
• 6:43
  I recently posted that it's getting a lot of views from me.
• 6:47
  It's not like 1,000,000 views, but it's got like 30 K views.
• 6:49
  It's huge for me. That's like a million to me.
• 6:52
  And just one comment on there, it's popped in my notifications
• 6:55
  and it's some random person I don't know that said the voice
• 7:00
  is annoying. And then, like, a laughing
• 7:02
  emoji, I tapped on the person's profile, as you do, And it was
• 7:06
  like some random real estate agent in Las Vegas.
• 7:09
  But it was just, like, right up front in the profile.
• 7:12
  And I don't think my voice is, like, the most soothing voice.
• 7:16
  But on the other hand, I can't control what my natural voice
• 7:22
  sounds like. And I was just curious who he
• 7:24
  was. And I was like, oh, it kind of
• 7:26
  looks like he creates content. I just, like, tap on a couple of
• 7:28
  them. And you know, God bless his
• 7:32
  heart, he also does things for like he talks to the camera.
• 7:38
  You know how a lot of influencers, they'll do like
• 7:41
  little bits like Tik Toks either acting or just like talking to
• 7:43
  the camera. He was doing that too.
• 7:44
  I'm thinking that's where all those stories kicked in that I
• 7:47
  told you about. It's easy sometimes to like
• 7:51
  write a comment on the Internet. And I've talked about when
• 7:55
  you're on the Internet and when you're on social media.
• 7:58
  I've learned anyways to have like thick skin and I don't go
• 8:03
  into the comments very much. You know, this is like a young
• 8:06
  Instagram account. So I'm looking at the comments
• 8:10
  like a little bit more because with just Joey Travels, I do
• 8:13
  sometimes get people comment with like good feedback or like
• 8:17
  actual questions. And I actually encourage people
• 8:19
  to DM me. But sometimes people are just
• 8:21
  more comfortable with like the comments.
• 8:23
  So because of that, it's because it's a business and because it's
• 8:26
  like a younger account. I look at the comments more on
• 8:28
  my personal. Just Joey TI don't look at the
• 8:31
  comments there. But that's been around for like
• 8:34
  so many years. And that's just my personal and
• 8:36
  like I really don't care. They're not potential customer
• 8:39
  under just Joey T. It's just like my personal like
• 8:41
  they're not potential customers. The just Joey travel.
• 8:43
  That's the storefront. That's like the front of a
• 8:45
  business, like pay more attention for that.
• 8:46
  And it's like from a different lens.
• 8:48
  So that's why I like looked at this comment.
• 8:50
  I tapped in the person and I'm thinking, you know what?
• 8:53
  I can't control the way I sound and I'm comfortable with the way
• 8:58
  I sound. And then looking at some of his
• 9:00
  content, it's like, you know what?
• 9:01
  He's just trying to make it. The empathy part definitely
• 9:05
  kicked in because I was just thinking, you know what?
• 9:08
  I don't know what that person is going through.
• 9:11
  If this person had like more life experience or was more
• 9:13
  mature, just had more empathy because not everybody has
• 9:18
  empathy. And you know, maybe he just
• 9:21
  doesn't. I can't change how my voice
• 9:25
  naturally sounds more than he can change how his face looks.
• 9:30
  I mean, this is just me, OK? Like he thinks my voice is
• 9:33
  annoying that that's his opinion, he's entitled to it.
• 9:37
  However, you know, for him to come on to my profile and
• 9:41
  consume my content, which I'm grateful that he boosted my
• 9:44
  engagement and views, which is great.
• 9:46
  So taking the positives, but you know, he's trying to create
• 9:50
  content too. And I get it.
• 9:51
  When you put yourself out there, not everyone's going to like it.
• 9:55
  You know, I put out tons of content and he's putting out
• 9:57
  content too. Like I said, he's making content
• 9:59
  too. And you know, when I look at his
• 10:01
  content, it's like, I mean, I don't want to look at that face,
• 10:05
  but like he's born with that face.
• 10:06
  I can't make fun of him for that.
• 10:07
  You can't make fun of people for the way they naturally are.
• 10:10
  This is my natural voice. And like, I look at his and it's
• 10:13
  like that's his natural voice too.
• 10:16
  I can't make fun of him. I can't make fun of his voice.
• 10:18
  Come on. And that's his face.
• 10:21
  I can't make fun of his face. That's his natural face.
• 10:24
  Unless he said work done, then he should get a refund.
• 10:26
  But I mean, I got I can't make fun of his face.
• 10:28
  That's that's his natural face. I can't make fun of him.
• 10:32
  That's where my empathy really kicked in.
• 10:36
  You have to be understanding. Like you just don't know what
• 10:39
  someone is going through. I don't know, someone who wasn't
• 10:42
  charitable will look at him and be like, it looks like he's
• 10:44
  wearing 5 spare tires. But like hey, I don't know.
• 10:46
  You can't make fun of him that could.
• 10:48
  That's his natural body. You can't make fun of him.
• 10:50
  When I looked at that comment and it's like, oh bless his
• 10:53
  heart. Poor him.
• 10:55
  Just trying to make it as a real estate agent in Vegas.
• 11:00
  Coming onto my profile and saying my voice is annoying.
• 11:04
  Maybe he's just trying to get, you know, sometimes people on
• 11:07
  the Internet, especially people that are trying to make it as an
• 11:10
  influencer, but not really, they need to have ways to like get
• 11:14
  views and get people to visit their profile.
• 11:16
  So, you know, he's trying, like I said, I make content, I get
• 11:21
  it. And I just mentioned getting the
• 11:22
  views, getting engagement, him putting that content there.
• 11:25
  People going to look at that content if they're going to
• 11:27
  click on this profile. I did.
• 11:28
  I gave him a profile click. You know, I'm doing charity,
• 11:31
  this is my charity work. I gave him a profile view, look
• 11:35
  for someone that leaves a comment like that on my profile
• 11:37
  and for me to give him engagement, I mean, come on,
• 11:39
  that's especially him looking at his profile.
• 11:43
  Like that's charity work. That's my charity work for the
• 11:45
  month, honestly. And you know, it's great for me
• 11:47
  to sit here in my condo and I have a comfortable life.
• 11:51
  But like, you know, sometimes people project and again,
• 11:56
  empathy is like, you don't know sometimes the situation someone
• 11:59
  is in. Yes, he's born with that face.
• 12:02
  He's born with that body. He's apparently born with that
• 12:04
  voice too. But you know, he could be going
• 12:06
  through a hard time and you can't just always jump to anger.
• 12:10
  Someone leaves a little nasty comment on your profile, on your
• 12:13
  content that got 30K views. But you know, his stuff isn't
• 12:17
  getting as many views. And you know, I've, I'm with
• 12:20
  you. You know, he's just trying to
• 12:21
  make it. You know, maybe he's just trying
• 12:22
  to pay his bills. It's great for me to sit here
• 12:25
  and for me to have a, you know, $1,000,000 portfolio in my
• 12:29
  investments. But like, not everybody has
• 12:31
  that. You know, I have a fat 4 O 1K,
• 12:33
  you know, and maybe he doesn't. Maybe he's making ends meet.
• 12:36
  Like he's just trying to make ends meet.
• 12:37
  You know what, he could be in a really bad situation.
• 12:40
  Maybe he's in credit card debt. Maybe the real estate thing
• 12:43
  isn't working out. Maybe he's not on the verge of
• 12:45
  bankruptcy. Maybe he just got dumped.
• 12:48
  So those are all the things I'm thinking about as I see that
• 12:55
  he's left this comment on my profile in my content, and as I
• 13:01
  see that he's just a human being like everybody else and we all
• 13:04
  have different situations that we're in.
• 13:07
  So as I saw his comment and as I see his profile, and I was just
• 13:12
  thinking I don't have any anger or ill will towards him or the
• 13:19
  way he sounds, the way he looks, his profile, the type of content
• 13:24
  he's creating, just a real estate agent trying to make it
• 13:27
  in Las Vegas. So yeah, that's my podcast
• 13:32
  today. I just wanted to bring that up.
• 13:35
  Obviously, I'm not going to name who this person is.
• 13:37
  And by the way, I've removed that message because for as much
• 13:41
  as I have empathy for him, trying to make it with a, I'm
• 13:44
  sure what was a heartfelt, genuine message that he left on
• 13:47
  my profile in my content, knowing that you know what, he
• 13:51
  going through heavy shit. Sometimes people go through
• 13:53
  heavy shit and hurt people, hurt people.
• 13:56
  Next time you see a nasty comment or social media, you got
• 13:59
  to think that person could be going through it really hard.
• 14:03
  Like, compared to your own life, Yeah, you could be having it so
• 14:07
  much better than them. And you just don't know because,
• 14:10
  you know, we tend to hide the parts of us that we don't like,
• 14:14
  and we tend to hide the things in our lives that are not going
• 14:17
  well. So God bless his heart, all the
• 14:21
  things he's going through. Possibly, I don't know.
• 14:25
  But I did remove his message because if you're trying to come
• 14:29
  on to my profile and disrespect me, regardless of what the
• 14:34
  reason is, he's just trying to make it.
• 14:36
  Guys, I'm going to delete the message and I'm going to block
• 14:40
  you. So there you go.
• 14:43
  I hope everybody learn a lesson about empathy today.
• 14:48
  We all get hate messages on our social media from time to time.
• 14:53
  Sometimes it's from people that they just have a crappy life and
• 14:58
  maybe it's of their own making. Maybe it's not.
• 15:02
  You know, my life can turn self tomorrow.
• 15:06
  It's possible, but as my life it is today, I mean I love my life
• 15:12
  and I hope you love your life as well.
• 15:15
  And until next time, bye y'all.