Latest / The You Project / #1946 Are Your Thoughts Even Yours? - Harps

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#1946 Are Your Thoughts Even Yours? - Harps · The You Project

0:00
Speaker 1: Good a Groovers.
0:01
Speaker 2: Do you ever think about why you think the way
0:04
Speaker 2: you think, where your thinking comes from, how much of
0:08
Speaker 2: your thinking is actually yours?
0:13
Speaker 1: You know that saying? What is the saying?
0:17
Speaker 2: Is it like we become or we are the average
0:20
Speaker 2: of the five people we spend the most time with.
0:25
Speaker 2: It's interesting because there's not there's no real science to that,
0:30
Speaker 2: but there's some science that supports the idea very strongly,
0:35
Speaker 2: of course, that we kind of adopt the thinking or
0:39
Speaker 2: are heavily influenced by the thinking and behaving and beliefs
0:44
Speaker 2: and values and habits and lifestyle of people that we
0:50
Speaker 2: live with or hang out with, or socialize with, or
0:53
Speaker 2: know or trust or respect or look up to. So
0:56
Speaker 2: very much there is a social influence that impacts how
1:01
Speaker 2: we are. Social influence is powerful. We are at the
1:06
Speaker 2: very least influenced by the beliefs and behaviors and habits
1:09
Speaker 2: and thinking standards values of the people around us. So
1:19
Speaker 2: it's good to be mindful of this because sometimes we
1:21
Speaker 2: think where we are thinking critically when we're not really
1:27
Speaker 2: thinking critically or objectively or independently, where thinking through the
1:35
Speaker 2: filter of our programming without even being aware of the
1:38
Speaker 2: programming so we're starting with and by the way, this
1:41
Speaker 2: is everyone, this is me too. So this is not
1:44
Speaker 2: something we're going to fix or solve or resolve on
1:46
Speaker 2: today's show. We're just talking about it as we always do.
1:49
Speaker 2: But I think the beginning of the beginning of being
1:52
Speaker 2: able to think critically and clearly and independently of the
1:57
Speaker 2: programming and the influencers, and the church and the sinner
2:00
Speaker 2: and the culture and the habit and the environment, the
2:03
Speaker 2: media and the social media and all of those things
2:06
Speaker 2: and people and factors that influence how you and I
2:10
Speaker 2: think the beginning is to go, well, fuck my thinking.
2:14
Speaker 2: We probably don't have to say the well fuck, but
2:16
Speaker 2: you could probably just start after that is really really impacted, influenced,
2:22
Speaker 2: if not in some ways almost determined by who I
2:27
Speaker 2: pay attention to, who I listen to, who I trust,
2:31
Speaker 2: who I think is right, because invariably we kind of
2:37
Speaker 2: often adopt and adapt the thinking of others because we
2:42
Speaker 2: look up to them and we think they're clever or
2:44
Speaker 2: we think they're right, and we kind of want to
2:46
Speaker 2: be like them. So how better could we be like
2:50
Speaker 2: them than kind of adapt and adopt their thinking and
2:53
Speaker 2: their behaviors. Right, we look up to people. We think
2:56
Speaker 2: highly of them, we think they're cool, we think they
2:58
Speaker 2: are good people. And of course, and this includes me,
3:02
Speaker 2: this is all of us. We are influenced somewhere between
3:06
Speaker 2: a little bit and a great big bit in terms
3:09
Speaker 2: of how we then do life. We do life, so
3:13
Speaker 2: we very often can, in a social way and an
3:19
Speaker 2: experiential way and a practical way, become a version of
3:22
Speaker 2: someone else. And I guess that begs the question, is
3:26
Speaker 2: that terrible? My instinctive feeling is like, yes, that's fucking terrible.
3:32
Speaker 1: But I guess it.
3:33
Speaker 2: Depends on the outcome, doesn't it. If you kind of
3:35
Speaker 2: look up to your mum and your mum's great, your
3:37
Speaker 2: mum does ABC and D, and then you go, fuck,
3:39
Speaker 2: I'm doing all of that, and I'm and mum's pretty
3:42
Speaker 2: functional and operational and happy, and so are you?
3:45
Speaker 1: Then who am I to go? Then you should stop that.
3:48
Speaker 2: But I think there's something to be said, definitely something
3:53
Speaker 2: to be said for starting to think about how we
3:57
Speaker 2: think and why we think the way that we do,
4:00
Speaker 2: because which of course has metacognition thinking about thinking, but
4:03
Speaker 2: so much of so much of our life where we're
4:09
Speaker 2: just plowing through days, situations, conversations and counters, interactions, experiences
4:18
Speaker 2: with kind of almost blinders on, so to speak. We
4:23
Speaker 2: just think how we think, and we don't even question
4:28
Speaker 2: whether or not how we're thinking in this moment is
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Speaker 2: actually serving us or sabotaging us.
4:35
Speaker 1: Is the way that I.
4:36
Speaker 2: Think in this moment, helping or hindering this conversation, this
4:40
Speaker 2: problem solving session, this conflict resolution session, this meeting, this
4:46
Speaker 2: thing that I'm in the middle of with another person
4:49
Speaker 2: is my worldview, my thinking. The way that I look
4:55
Speaker 2: at this stuff, the way that I'm dissecting and processing
4:59
Speaker 2: and be meaning to this moment in time with this
5:02
Speaker 2: person or these people, Is that a positive or a negative?
5:07
Speaker 2: And if we're really brave and honest, sometimes the way
5:09
Speaker 2: that we look at things sometimes, the way that we think, sometimes,
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Speaker 2: the way that we communicate sometimes, the way that we
5:15
Speaker 2: make decisions, sometimes, the way that we do All of
5:18
Speaker 2: that stuff which starts with a thought is problematic. And
5:24
Speaker 2: so again we default to self awareness, not self loathing,
5:28
Speaker 2: and we say, all right, well, what can I do
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Speaker 2: about that? How can I get better? So we are
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Speaker 2: around people who, of course have their own beliefs and
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Speaker 2: values and ideas, and I think the challenge in the
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Speaker 2: middle of that is to be able to listen to.
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Speaker 1: Not everyone.
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Speaker 2: We can't listen everyone, but listen to the people that
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Speaker 2: you think are worth listening to. Pay attention, you know,
5:53
Speaker 2: like consider what they're saying, Like with this podcast, don't
5:55
Speaker 2: believe everything I say because you know some of you
5:58
Speaker 2: may like me or think I mildly interesting. Perhaps consider
6:03
Speaker 2: what I'm saying and then think about whether or not
6:07
Speaker 2: it's worth opening the door on the thoughts and ideas
6:11
Speaker 2: and advice that I might present over the next thirty
6:13
Speaker 2: minutes or so, and then go do your own research.
6:16
Speaker 2: So look like he's a really fundamental question. Does my
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Speaker 2: thinking empower me or disempower me? For the most part,
6:27
Speaker 2: is it catapulting me forward? Or is it holding me back?
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Speaker 2: Is the contents of my mind? Are the contents of
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Speaker 2: my mind more of a positive or more of a
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Speaker 2: negative on average? Again, self awareness, And if the answer
6:45
Speaker 2: is like, my mind is getting in the way, Sometimes
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Speaker 2: my thoughts are getting in the way. Sometimes I am
6:50
Speaker 2: self sabotaging. I am wasting potential and time and energy.
6:55
Speaker 2: I am obsessing about shit that I can't change, certain
7:00
Speaker 2: beliefs that I didn't even choose I've got certain ways
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Speaker 2: of thinking and looking at the world that I didn't choose.
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Speaker 2: I just think like this because Dad thinks like this,
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Speaker 2: or that dude that I love thinks like this, or
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Speaker 2: this person.
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Speaker 1: That I respect. I didn't actually choose this myself.
7:17
Speaker 2: This is just an an emotional contagion. This is social osmosis,
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Speaker 2: where I've been around certain people who think and feel
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Speaker 2: and communicate and behave and live a certain way, and
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Speaker 2: now I'm a version of them. And like I said
7:34
Speaker 2: to you, if the byproduct of that is positive, probably
7:37
Speaker 2: don't need to worry.
7:39
Speaker 1: But there is.
7:41
Speaker 2: Definitely something to be said for becoming aware of your
7:48
Speaker 2: own programming, your own conditioning, the influence that others have
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Speaker 2: had on you. And in this moment in time, as you,
7:57
Speaker 2: as I say this, for me, as you listen to this,
8:01
Speaker 2: for you to think about, why do I think the
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Speaker 2: way that I do and.
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Speaker 1: Is it working?
8:10
Speaker 2: So back to the original question or statement, is that
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Speaker 2: we become the average of the five people we spend
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Speaker 2: the most time with. I think the bottom line is
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Speaker 2: that that's not literally true. It's interesting though, and it's
8:24
Speaker 2: generally I think generally somewhat true. You will see things
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Speaker 2: in me that are a reflection of the five people
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Speaker 2: or ten people or you know. However, many people that
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Speaker 2: I respect or I look up to, or I love,
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Speaker 2: or that are important to me, you will see things
8:45
Speaker 2: which in me are an expression of them. But it's
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Speaker 2: not true that you know you are a numerical average
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Speaker 2: of you know, your friends, I qus incomes traits, behavior's mindset.
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Speaker 2: That's not literally true. And also, of course some people
9:04
Speaker 2: resist peer influence more than others. You know, personality, self awareness,
9:09
Speaker 2: and values matter. Some people are really are naturally I
9:14
Speaker 2: think more critical thinkers and question things and push back.
9:19
Speaker 2: I think even though I in my life have many
9:24
Speaker 2: times succumbed to I call it the enormity of conformity,
9:30
Speaker 2: where I've stepped into line where it's not my proudest moment,
9:36
Speaker 2: but times when I've really kind of compromised myself because
9:41
Speaker 2: I thought I wanted to belong to a certain group.
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Speaker 1: Without going into it.
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Speaker 2: But eventually, even within the context of that group or
9:51
Speaker 2: those groups that I belong to, at times I would
9:54
Speaker 2: get in inverted commas in trouble because I would question
9:58
Speaker 2: the group think. I would not agree with an idea,
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Speaker 2: I would not agree with an attitude or a belief,
10:07
Speaker 2: or at the very least I would question that. Now,
10:13
Speaker 2: remember that the price of membership to a lot of
10:16
Speaker 2: groups is that you believe what we believe, you think,
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Speaker 2: what you think, you behave how we behave you conform,
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Speaker 2: and to belong to this group, you can't have other beliefs.
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Speaker 2: You have to have these beliefs. You can't think unless
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Speaker 2: you unless you're independent thinking happens to align with the
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Speaker 2: group thinking. Well, then that's cool, that's tickety boo, that's fine,
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Speaker 2: big tick for you. But if your independent thinking doesn't
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Speaker 2: align with the group thinking, with the mantra, with the mission,
10:52
Speaker 2: with the ideology or theology or philosophy or whatever the
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Speaker 2: group is, well then you can't belong because your membership
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Speaker 2: to that group is dependent on you not disagreeing. It's
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Speaker 2: dependent on you not thinking individually, independently or critically unless
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Speaker 2: that critical thought aligns with the group thought. And not
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Speaker 2: only can you not think for yourself unless we're happy
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Speaker 2: with it, of course, unless we the group are happy
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Speaker 2: with your independent thinking or it meets certain criteria. Not
11:29
Speaker 2: only can you not we will then make you feel
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Speaker 2: bad and guilty and less than and potentially scared because
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Speaker 2: there is a very real nudge, nudge, wink wink price
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Speaker 2: to pay for not thinking like we think and for
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Speaker 2: pushing back and questioning. Here's the fucking kicker, the truth
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Speaker 2: because our group, fuck all the other groups. Our group
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Speaker 2: has the truth. I'm not just talking about religion, think,
12:00
Speaker 2: I'm just talking about religon.
12:01
Speaker 1: Oh no.
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Speaker 2: There are so many groups which basically are cults. They
12:09
Speaker 2: are thought cults where they try to control people. And
12:13
Speaker 2: why do they want to control people? Why do they
12:15
Speaker 2: want to manipulate people, you know, with all of this
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Speaker 2: fear based ideology in philosophy and theology, because it's in
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Speaker 2: their interest to have people scared, it's in their interest
12:28
Speaker 2: to have people fully committed, because we can only grow
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Speaker 2: if we can control and manipulate people. And as you
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Speaker 2: probably are becoming aware, I farcking hate this.
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Speaker 1: Now.
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Speaker 2: Does that to say all groups are bad?
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Speaker 1: Of course not.
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Speaker 2: There are some great groups. There are some great groups.
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Speaker 2: But the best groups are the groups where we're not
12:50
Speaker 2: living in an echo chamber. We don't all have to
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Speaker 2: think identically, we don't all have to conform to a
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Speaker 2: certain paradigm or philosophy of thought. We don't all have
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Speaker 2: to We might actually have quite divergent thinking and ideas
13:06
Speaker 2: and lifestyles and behaviors. There's probably some commonality, like we
13:11
Speaker 2: don't do horrible shit and we don't hurt people. Maybe
13:15
Speaker 2: we operate in love as much as we can. But
13:18
Speaker 2: there can be a broad cross section of ideas and
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Speaker 2: beliefs and philosophies and ideologies even within the same group,
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Speaker 2: if it's not one of the aforementioned groups.
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Speaker 1: So, in other words, if it's the right kind of group.
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Speaker 2: Now, I know I've spoken about this many times when
13:39
Speaker 2: I talk about our programming, but I just think it's
13:41
Speaker 2: important to revisit again. And why Because because we've all
13:48
Speaker 2: been programmed or influenced.
13:52
Speaker 1: As to how we.
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Speaker 2: Think and how we live and how we behave and
13:56
Speaker 2: what we eat, and whether or not we exercise, and
13:59
Speaker 2: who we hang out with and why we hang out
14:00
Speaker 2: with them, and whether or not we believe in God
14:03
Speaker 2: or multiple gods or this God or that God, or
14:07
Speaker 2: most of that kind of internal reality is a byproduct
14:13
Speaker 2: of who we've been around, or what we've seen or
14:15
Speaker 2: what we've been exposed to, And at the very least
14:20
Speaker 2: it's a byproduct of influence, if not control and manipulation
14:24
Speaker 2: in some cases, So the really big challenge, as I
14:30
Speaker 2: see it again, this is just me thinking out loud.
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Speaker 2: If you think it's bullshit, ignore me, turn off right now,
14:35
Speaker 2: and I'll see you. I'll never see you next time.
14:37
Speaker 1: All good.
14:38
Speaker 2: But as I see it, and this is someone who
14:40
Speaker 2: grew up in a very specific school or echo chamber
14:47
Speaker 2: of thought, the challenge for us is to recognize the
14:54
Speaker 2: gap between what is happening or what is true, what
15:02
Speaker 2: is objectively true, and what we think is true. So
15:08
Speaker 2: even in a practical sense, out in the world when
15:10
Speaker 2: things are going on, so the gap between the thing
15:14
Speaker 2: that's going on, the event, the circumstances, situation, what the
15:17
Speaker 2: person's saying, and my story, my story about that thing,
15:24
Speaker 2: because the thing and my story are quite different. One
15:29
Speaker 2: is a stimulus. One is a response. So something goes
15:33
Speaker 2: on in the world, I tell myself a story, and
15:36
Speaker 2: my story might be, Oh, that guy is a bad
15:40
Speaker 2: guy because that guy is in the wrong religion, or
15:45
Speaker 2: that guy does this or does that, or looks a
15:47
Speaker 2: certain way or dresses a certain way that doesn't fit
15:50
Speaker 2: into my version or my story of how he or
15:54
Speaker 2: she should dress or live, or worship or eat or
15:58
Speaker 2: behave or interaction act or marry or not marry. It
16:02
Speaker 2: doesn't fit in with my story of what is right.
16:06
Speaker 2: So I'm not just observing something. I'm telling myself about
16:10
Speaker 2: the something that I'm observing. And so in the middle
16:14
Speaker 2: of that is a story. Now consciousness awareness is me
16:20
Speaker 2: and you being able to recognize the thing or there's
16:24
Speaker 2: a person on the other side.
16:25
Speaker 1: Of the street.
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Speaker 2: That's the thing, that's just that's the recognition, and then
16:30
Speaker 2: the story is what I tell myself about that person
16:33
Speaker 2: on the other side of the street. Now, awareness and
16:36
Speaker 2: opening the door on consciousness and critical thinking is being
16:41
Speaker 2: able to recognize the gap between the objective reality of
16:45
Speaker 2: the person on the other side of the street and
16:47
Speaker 2: your subsequent story about it. That's awareness, that's step one.
16:53
Speaker 2: That's consciousness. That's opening a door to a different level
16:58
Speaker 2: of thinking and experiencing.
17:01
Speaker 1: And so for us as we move through the world,
17:04
Speaker 1: as we move through.
17:05
Speaker 2: Days, is to be able to in the moment, which
17:09
Speaker 2: is really hard because this is like level nine self awareness,
17:13
Speaker 2: which is difficult, is to be able to recognize, oh,
17:17
Speaker 2: I reacted that way, or I think this way, or
17:20
Speaker 2: I'm processing this experience this way, or in fact, I'm
17:24
Speaker 2: even having this experience because of how I think, and
17:31
Speaker 2: how I think is because of my programming. Now, programming
17:38
Speaker 2: is not bad. Programming is part of the human experience.
17:41
Speaker 2: But it's recognizing what are the components or what of
17:47
Speaker 2: my programming, which you know came via my education and
17:52
Speaker 2: my parents and my friends and where I grew up
17:54
Speaker 2: and how I grew up and what I did and
17:56
Speaker 2: who I hung out with. That's all programming, that's all influence.
18:01
Speaker 2: What of that is really working for me? And what
18:04
Speaker 2: has become a problem for me? What is a limitation?
18:09
Speaker 2: How does the way that I see the world, How
18:12
Speaker 2: does the way that I think, How does the way
18:14
Speaker 2: that I process life and do life as a result
18:18
Speaker 2: of that programming?
18:19
Speaker 1: How does that affect me?
18:21
Speaker 2: Now?
18:21
Speaker 1: For good and for bad?
18:26
Speaker 2: Personally, I always have to be aware that I'm looking
18:31
Speaker 2: through the Craig window, and the Craig window sometimes is
18:34
Speaker 2: a fucked up window. Sometimes the Craig window is not
18:36
Speaker 2: a great window. Sometimes I'm looking at something through a
18:41
Speaker 2: lens that is not particularly uplifting or empowering or positive.
18:47
Speaker 2: Sometimes that is what's going on for me, and I'm
18:50
Speaker 2: sure that's going on for you sometimes. But here's what
18:53
Speaker 2: not to do. When you're doing that, don't beat yourself up,
18:58
Speaker 2: done self loath. Guess what that jeeves fuck all, Well,
19:01
Speaker 2: that's not true. What it achieves is you putting yourself
19:03
Speaker 2: in a worse place emotionally and psychologically. So what I
19:07
Speaker 2: do is, or what I try to do is and
19:09
Speaker 2: I tend to most of the time these days, when
19:11
Speaker 2: I'm looking through that shit window or that shit filter
19:15
Speaker 2: and I'm telling myself of stories or a story of
19:18
Speaker 2: doom and gloom, I try to catch myself in the
19:21
Speaker 2: moment and go, oh, listen to me.
19:23
Speaker 1: I can Debbie Downer.
19:24
Speaker 2: Shout out to Debbie, I don't know why people say that,
19:27
Speaker 2: or Dave Downer or Craig Downer. Let's go with Craig Downer,
19:31
Speaker 2: and to realize what I am doing and then try
19:34
Speaker 2: to And this is like, this is one of the
19:36
Speaker 2: tough things.
19:37
Speaker 1: I was saying this to Tiff the other day.
19:39
Speaker 2: One of the hardest things about, truly about personal growth
19:44
Speaker 2: is in the middle of the shit, to be able
19:47
Speaker 2: to lean into the lessons and the wisdom and the
19:50
Speaker 2: truth and in that moment when you want to tell
19:54
Speaker 2: someone or something to fuck off, is to then to
19:57
Speaker 2: be able to self manage self regulate, be self aware.
20:01
Speaker 2: It's easy to apply all this stuff when life's good
20:04
Speaker 2: and the day's good and the winds at our back
20:06
Speaker 2: and it's sunny and shit's great.
20:10
Speaker 1: But that's not really where we learn and grow and evolve.
20:12
Speaker 2: The tough thing is, you know, when I'm in the
20:16
Speaker 2: middle of something and I want to be right.
20:17
Speaker 1: That's another thing too.
20:19
Speaker 2: How attached are we to our thinking and our beliefs
20:23
Speaker 2: and our version of truth, our version of what is real.
20:28
Speaker 2: We are super attached to that. And so when you
20:32
Speaker 2: come into the picture and then you come in with
20:35
Speaker 2: a dialogue or a version that is not like my version,
20:40
Speaker 2: your story ain't my story, Well that means either one
20:45
Speaker 2: of us is wrong or both of us are wrong.
20:47
Speaker 2: But either way, I don't be the one that's wrong.
20:50
Speaker 2: So you can fuck off. Because my identity and my
20:55
Speaker 2: happiness and my calm and the way that I manage
20:58
Speaker 2: my fear is I tell myself I'm right.
21:03
Speaker 1: But guess what. Let's be honest.
21:06
Speaker 2: I'm wrong a lot, You're wrong a lot. How many
21:09
Speaker 2: times in your life have you thought something that was untrue?
21:13
Speaker 2: How many times have you had an idea that turned
21:16
Speaker 2: out to be fucking stupid. I'm thinking, unless you're super
21:20
Speaker 2: special a lot. And so to move through life assuming
21:27
Speaker 2: that I am right, Assuming that no matter whatever situation
21:31
Speaker 2: or argument or confrontation or whatever it is that I'm
21:34
Speaker 2: in the middle of, they're wrong, I'm right. Bibbity bobby boo.
21:37
Speaker 2: That's great for my ego, great for my self esteem,
21:41
Speaker 2: great for you know, my personal comfort because I couldn't
21:46
Speaker 2: possibly be wrong. That's too fucking terrifying for me because
21:49
Speaker 2: I can't cope. So therefore I'm always right, which again
21:54
Speaker 2: that's me building my own emotional and psychological prison. And
21:58
Speaker 2: of course I can't be right, of course, so fuck up.
22:00
Speaker 2: Of course I get things wrong. But you know what's
22:03
Speaker 2: actually liberating is going I got it wrong, not justify, justify, rationalized, justify, explained.
22:11
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, A fuck all that, just go I.
22:13
Speaker 1: Got it wrong. I'm sorry, I will do better. I'll
22:17
Speaker 1: do better.
22:18
Speaker 2: I would assume most days, if not all days, every
22:23
Speaker 2: day I get something wrong. I might not even be
22:27
Speaker 2: aware of it on the same day. I might learn
22:30
Speaker 2: a month later, or a week later, a day or
22:31
Speaker 2: a year later that I was wrong. But I am
22:34
Speaker 2: sure that I get things wrong every single day. In fact,
22:36
Speaker 2: I might have done something or said something on this podcast,
22:40
Speaker 2: even in the last twenty minutes or so, which is wrong,
22:42
Speaker 2: which is flawed, which is less than optimal, which is
22:44
Speaker 2: not You know, I'm always second guessing myself, even right now.
22:48
Speaker 2: I could, I could right now second guess about fuck?
22:51
Speaker 2: Has this been any good? Should I start again? Have
22:55
Speaker 2: I explained myself? Is this confusing? Could I have done
22:59
Speaker 2: this better? The answer is, of course I could have
23:00
Speaker 2: done this better. Virtually everything I do I could have
23:04
Speaker 2: done better. But could I have done it worse? Or
23:08
Speaker 2: it could have been a complete shitfest? It could have
23:11
Speaker 2: been indecipherable garbage. I don't think it's that.
23:16
Speaker 1: It could be that. You'll let me know.
23:19
Speaker 2: So all right, let's try to end on something constructive.
23:23
Speaker 2: So how there's no three step plan? But how can
23:29
Speaker 2: we potentially change the way that we think or become
23:32
Speaker 2: more aware of our thinking and more conscious so that
23:38
Speaker 2: we can start to truly think as much as it
23:42
Speaker 2: is possible, critically and independently of you know, the echo
23:48
Speaker 2: chamber that we've lived in for much of our life.
23:50
Speaker 1: So I think a big part of.
23:53
Speaker 2: It is to be open, truly open, And this takes
23:57
Speaker 2: courage guts, humility to the idea that our thinking quite
24:01
Speaker 2: often is somewhere between limited and somewhat flaw. Somewhat flawed,
24:10
Speaker 2: I should say two completely false, completely incorrect. Sometimes I'll
24:18
Speaker 2: say something and it's it's you know, it's like, is
24:21
Speaker 2: it accurate to say that we become the average of
24:24
Speaker 2: the five person people we spend the most time with. No,
24:27
Speaker 2: it's not accurate, but there's some truth in it, Like
24:33
Speaker 2: it's it's a limited perspective, but there's some insight in
24:38
Speaker 2: some truth. And what it's really saying is that the
24:40
Speaker 2: people we spend time around, they influence us the way
24:43
Speaker 2: that we think and behave.
24:44
Speaker 1: And move through the world all of that.
24:46
Speaker 2: So yeah, it's but is it totally categorically accurate five people,
24:51
Speaker 2: not four, not six, and that we are the average
24:54
Speaker 2: numerically and statistically. No, it's not true, right, but it's
25:00
Speaker 2: also neither is it complete bullshit? But there have been
25:04
Speaker 2: times in my life where I've had to own up
25:08
Speaker 2: and step up and say I thought this, but.
25:11
Speaker 1: I was completely wrong. I was completely wrong. I got
25:16
Speaker 1: it wrong. I had to do a one eighty.
25:20
Speaker 2: And for those of you who know me, well, you
25:22
Speaker 2: probably guess I'm going to say the food pyramid just
25:24
Speaker 2: because it's an easy example. Whereas I not only did
25:28
Speaker 2: I believe that the food pyramid was great science, which
25:31
Speaker 2: it turned out to be anything but great science. Not
25:36
Speaker 2: only did I think that, I also taught that to
25:38
Speaker 2: my clients and my students and other people. And so
25:43
Speaker 2: I was telling I was sharing a thought, an idea,
25:47
Speaker 2: a belief that I held, which, as it turns out wrong.
25:52
Speaker 1: So you go, okay, got it wrong. I didn't want
25:54
Speaker 1: to get it wrong.
25:54
Speaker 2: Wasn't trying to upset anyone, wasn't trying to mislead anyone.
25:58
Speaker 1: But did I mislead people? Did I give out information
26:01
Speaker 1: that was incorrect?
26:02
Speaker 2: Did I get it wrong?
26:04
Speaker 1: Sure? Did the end see that I got it wrong?
26:08
Speaker 1: The end not?
26:09
Speaker 2: Ah? But ah, but I could rationalize why I got
26:12
Speaker 2: it wrong.
26:13
Speaker 1: It doesn't matter. I got it wrong.
26:15
Speaker 2: So now I'll learn better, I'll do better. Will I
26:19
Speaker 2: get things wrong moving forward?
26:20
Speaker 1: Of course?
26:20
Speaker 2: The only way I want is if I don't do anything,
26:22
Speaker 2: say anything, be anything to anyone, don't do a podcast,
26:25
Speaker 2: don't talk, don't think out loud, don't fucking try anything.
26:29
Speaker 2: That's the only way you get nothing wrong. And by
26:31
Speaker 2: the way, that doesn't work either, You're still going to
26:33
Speaker 2: fuck up because you've got to do something right. So
26:37
Speaker 2: what we do is we do the best that we can,
26:39
Speaker 2: knowing that we will fuck up. We think the way
26:42
Speaker 2: we think, knowing that our thinking will be flawed at times.
26:47
Speaker 2: And I think also a really important idea, if not
26:52
Speaker 2: experiential practice, is to expose ourselves to different stuff out
27:00
Speaker 2: of the new echo chamber. Do something, you know how
27:04
Speaker 2: people say, Oh, that's not me. Oh gyms aren't me?
27:10
Speaker 2: You know, I couldn't. That's not a me thing. I'm
27:13
Speaker 2: just not I'm not saying go to the gym. I'm
27:15
Speaker 2: not saying anything in particular, but I'm saying, expose yourself
27:19
Speaker 2: to new experiences, new places, new people, new cultures, new information,
27:25
Speaker 2: new books, maybe even new podcasts. Who knows, like different ideas,
27:33
Speaker 2: different insights, different research. Like I'm changing my mind or
27:41
Speaker 2: at least modifying my thinking about things almost every day.
27:49
Speaker 2: If not unlearning, I'm just adding to my learning where
27:52
Speaker 2: I'm thinking I didn't.
27:55
Speaker 1: How am I just hearing this now? I'm one hundred
27:58
Speaker 1: years old. How the fuck am I just finding this
28:00
Speaker 1: out now? But I'm glad I did all right? Team
28:05
Speaker 1: I may be waffling.
28:07
Speaker 2: So I want you to think about your thinking and
28:08
Speaker 2: whether or not you're thinking, is actually you're thinking, or
28:11
Speaker 2: someone else's thinking that you're just thinking with me