Latest / Brandon Fogal Evolution / #32 - Random Thoughts and Reflections: Navigating Life's Ups and Downs

Transcript

#32 - Random Thoughts and Reflections: Navigating Life's Ups and Downs · Brandon Fogal Evolution

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  All right, what is up, everyone? I hope the sound is coming through.
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  We are live. It is a Tuesday, just the run-of-the-mill Tuesday,
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  and I just, I needed to go live.
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  I needed to go live. Nothing in particular to talk about, just talking about life.
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  Life is heavy, and it can get heavy at times.
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  Is it heavy for you all out there? what do you all got going on
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  in your life is things going great
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  or is things kind of kind of tough you know
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  you know it's different for everyone different for everyone
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  but we are a lot of news happening there's a
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  lot of things happening in the news i don't anything have anything specific about
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  the news i'm just like seems like right now like for me personally it's uh it
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  seems it's a busy time busy time of the year and just life in general a lot
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  of things a lot of things happening It just can almost wear you down sometimes
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  because you think when everything could be the greatest, it could almost be the toughest.
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  You know, we think everything I mean, I found it for me, for me,
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  even the best things in life seems like they come and they always don't go the way that you want them.
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  You know, things just I don't know. It's hard to even put it into words like
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  it's just you think everything would be great and wonderful.
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  But when you actually get it it sometimes can be
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  you just take it for granted you i mean you get something and
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  you just take it for granted you know and you how
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  quickly at least for me like if something's growing if i
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  finally get what i what i wanted i get
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  it and then i just like oh i just move on to the next
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  thing how easy it is to not be can not be
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  content and thankful and grateful for the
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  many blessings i get you know and i and
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  i don't know if if anyone else out there like has
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  experience this type of you know emotions and
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  just reality and just what what you're going through
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  you know i'm i'm basically just going to just
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  just talk i'm just going to just randomly just talk and
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  say things say things that come across my mind you know i just sometimes just
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  got built up built up thoughts and things you just want to express and just
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  tell everybody about but it's I found that when I am in person with people,
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  the last thing I want to do is talk, you know, and the last thing I do do, I do do.
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  And I'll throw that in there. I do do. The last thing I do is talk because it's
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  like I just find it just for me personally, when I'm with people like face to
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  face, face to face with someone,
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  I cannot actually be who I want to be because I overanalyze and overthink everything
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  that I would say and want to say that I cannot be a genuine person.
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  And and it's like I'm just looking at their face and how they're looking at
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  me, you know, and it's just I know. And I know that I'm almost talking into the wind.
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  Maybe there is somebody out there that experiences things like this in their
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  life, you know, who they want to be and who they feel like inside.
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  But like when they're actually with others, you can't be that because you've
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  got to have you got to have guards up.
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  You got to have things up that you don't let people see who you truly are.
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  And you just kind of you you're just
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  a closed book you're a closed book at least that's how i feel
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  i feel like i have to be a closed book you know
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  because nobody understands is
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  anyone else out there that you feel like no one understands no
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  one gets it no one you know people
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  are just in their own world people are in their own world doing
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  their own thing and that's why it's it's a beautiful
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  thing and if you don't do this yourself if you don't like
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  have something where you just go live and you just say
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  what you think you know i encourage i i'd
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  say do it because it's it just it feels good because a
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  lot of times i mean just just regular life you can't
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  do that you know you you go do you go do
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  your thing your regular your work your
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  family life and just your friends and
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  who you're with and everything and you sometimes just can't be who
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  you want to be because a lot of times people can't handle it people can't handle
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  the real you you know and people can't i i've found that people or it feels
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  like that people can't handle the real me so but but it's not about me it's
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  not about me and i and i'm trying to completely change my.
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  Approach in the way that i do things and
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  make it about others make it
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  about you whoever's on the other end
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  of this whoever actually ever listens to
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  this and hears me i want to make it
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  i want to reverse my whole thought process and get it out of making it about
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  me because i i am so by nature so freaking selfish and that's why i said i i
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  the title of this live right now is random freaking thoughts.
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  It feels good to say freaking sometimes.
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  Sometimes that's a better F word to say than the other F word, you know?
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  But a lot of times, man, I want to say the real one. I want to say it, and I just, I don't.
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  And I don't, because I struggle with that, you know? Because I don't want to...
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  Be a person that just cusses but like maybe that doesn't
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  matter maybe that it doesn't matter but nobody else probably
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  even thinks about that type of stuff but like i've said i've
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  said before it just sometimes it's just it it's like
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  almost what we label as cuss words or
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  whatever it's just almost like it's just a way to express almost
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  what you can't it's like an utterable word
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  an utterable feeling that you have and
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  the thing that gets it out the most is just saying
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  it you know and i know everybody most people out there most people i'd run across
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  they would think i'm insane for even thinking like that you know like thinking
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  like who gives a if you cuss you know who cares you know but it's like i don't
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  know it's like i just i guess i'm just thinking about my witness.
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  My the way people see me and i don't want to you know i don't know because anybody
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  that would actually care would almost be a judgy person you know any person
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  that i would actually care like Like, oh, you cussed, you know?
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  This, yeah, this, I mean, I know I've talked about that before,
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  you know, but that's just how I feel, you know?
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  But a lot of these things, who knows? Like, I'll cut out what actually people out there.
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  So it's like if people get the live version, I really appreciate you being there
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  because then you get to hear, here I am unfiltered, you know?
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  And I don't, I hate being filtered.
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  I hate being filtered. I hate being, I am overly filtered, you know?
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  I'm just going to chit-chat. as we as we get
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  it like we are past the election as we
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  were past like you know the chaos that was last
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  week and just you know and i would
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  say like even for me i'll just i'll get a little bit personal get
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  a little bit personal we've recently had
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  another child and i'm very very thankful for
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  that so maybe it's just and it was a i we'd been
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  i'd been wanting to have a another child for
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  a while and just very thankful for that so it's may
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  it's just actually getting i just quickly move on and
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  i quickly don't not as appreciative as
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  i want as i would think i would be when i actually have that and then i just
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  and then i don't even know what it is it's just like i think i have a i am i
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  don't know if i'm like i just have i am heightenedly emotional inside and internally
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  and I don't know what it is I just don't but it's.
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  It's good to be able to air it out it's good to be able to talk it out it's
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  good to be able to just think it out and express myself which like because I
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  don't do this I mean I'm not going to go and talk to most people I'm not going
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  to go and even talk to my wife you know about like a lot of things you know because it's like,
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  it's almost I feel good just like talking it out you know to whoever would listen out in the world.
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  Because it's just cool like because like if I'm,
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  The people you're most personal and close with, you don't even want to bring
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  up anything. You don't want to like – I don't know. You just don't want to show
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  your real self a lot of times.
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  When I'm saying the you, you don't want to say – I'm speaking of me for the
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  most part and how I project onto others how I think that they would feel and think.
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  But either way, it feels good to just be able to talk things out.
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  It's just like I said, we recently had a child and we're very,
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  very blessed and thankful for that.
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  And I think maybe it's just like during stressful times, maybe sleep deprived
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  times, you may be kind of can things can seem more insurmountable and bigger
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  problem, a bigger issue than it actually is.
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  You know, when things I think I am, I don't want to say this, but I'll say it.
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  And I hate I hate even saying it, but like I'm not I'm a drama.
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  I'm going to say I'm going to say I'm a drama king, even though it's the normal
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  phrase of the drama queen.
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  You know, I just I have drama syndrome, you know, like I I everything about
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  me is all I am so freaking theater.
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  And that's why I absolutely love love movies. I absolutely love that stuff.
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  I go to plays in a second and just and just I love everything about like,
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  you know, Hollywood and the Oscars and people acting.
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  Acting just drives me freaking crazy because i'm
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  just so in awe of people that act you
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  know i think it's because it is a free it's an insane
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  skill for someone to have and
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  i just just mesmerized by it because you
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  really appreciate how good acting is when you don't see
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  when you see someone that doesn't act good so someone
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  that's not as great of an actor and the ones
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  that are they just make it look so easy and i've
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  tried to act and i i wonder i wonder how i could actually do
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  if i actually if i really did was in put in
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  a scene and i needed to act i need to just you know
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  let it all hang out i needed to not hold anything
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  back but be who i i i just
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  complete because i would be devoted to a
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  part i would just be like completely devoted to a part
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  and but i know how hard it is to actually do
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  it because there's the nerves you get the nerves of what am
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  i actually when people are actually looking at me people
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  actually watch me people are hearing me and you clam up you tense up and how
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  am i actually how am i going to remember my lines not just forget everything
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  i wanted to say was supposed to say and how i'm supposed to say it i think people
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  people are blessed in different ways people some people have great ability just.
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  You know just off the cuff just talk some people
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  have the ability to remember stuff and say and remember lines
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  and say it a certain way this has also been a tough thing for me lately
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  it's just i've been really like struggling with just like just
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  people in general i and i'm just like awful
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  to say but it's just like i'm almost tired of people you
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  know and it's like it's just like and i think it's just where i don't
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  jive with with people sometimes and it's just it's
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  tough for me i don't know if anybody else out there has
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  that but it's like even the people you feel closest to and you
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  think you're closest to sometimes you can just
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  get let down you can they don't they're not able
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  to match the the pedestal you
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  put them on and you just you know it's i'm
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  actually recording this from my phone and i
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  i hope it's actually coming through the volume i don't even know but i just
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  yeah i'm gonna i just wanted to talk some random stuff just say just get on
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  here and i don't have anything like newsworthy and maybe like anyone that's
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  ever listens to this stuff if you just like what you like to hear because i'm trying to really.
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  Figure out like what i want to create what i
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  want to kind of put together because i mean i have my
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  desires i have my things that i like to do and i
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  like to talk about and do shows on
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  and do content about but i want
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  to figure out what who who's on the
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  other end what you all like what you
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  want and bring you something that you want
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  you know and like but maybe i maybe it is like maybe
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  it's that that whole thing like i need to just
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  continue with what i'm passionate about and the right audience will find me
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  and i will find the right audience you know and i'm not going to be a person
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  that's just i can't do anything like just if i'm not doing it all the way you
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  know and but i absolutely love doing this stuff i love making the videos making
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  a podcast making the stories and all
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  kind of all that and so i mean it's it's but it's just
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  finding that balance that delicate balance that is
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  that is life you know and so i i
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  guess i could bring up like how is everyone out
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  there doing are you i think we are in kind of a
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  chaotic time like i i i like i said over and over and i repeated this over and
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  i think just talking about politics you know and politics for me is just it's
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  fun to discuss it's fun to just watch and see what's going on and but it's also
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  it can also turn so many people off and i'm.
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  I i get that i totally get that you
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  know but like i guess what do you all think what
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  do you think you know are you a person that enjoys talking
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  about it are you a person that stays away steers clear and
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  doesn't want to like get on that i i like to just
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  i like to talk about real things you know i want to
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  just discuss real matters you know matters you
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  know of life and what what is actually going on
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  you know and not just like just do stuff that's just what i'm
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  trying to say like fluff it doesn't actually get to the heart
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  of the issue that just goes around just to talk about things
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  to talk about things but like just like what people
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  are actually going through you know what because that's why
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  i like this is like real and raw like what i'm i'm just like
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  just telling you how i'm feeling or how
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  what i'm going through and like i i know everybody
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  out there is going through something something in life
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  you know whatever you're battling because everything can
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  seem great or it can be the worst time of your
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  life you can be going through the worst time of your life and also things can
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  you can feel like you're you're just being who.
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  You are you're in but you're like almost making it like a
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  show you're just like you're out when you're out with
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  everybody everybody sees one thing but who you are in
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  inside when you're by yourself you
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  feel just completely alone you completely no
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  one gets you and maybe that you know
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  i because for me that's why
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  i'm wondering like is anyone else out there like that because i am
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  like somebody that's just like i feel like no one
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  no one gets me and
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  it's like i mean no one no one literally gets me at all and i'm always like
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  on the outskirts i'm always you know like i feel like i don't jive with people
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  that that easily i'm just doing my own thing even the people you'd think that
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  you would be i'd be closest to or you know it's.
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  You know i mean but for me at least i'm not i'm not gonna
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  be i'm not afraid to like or even worried to tell people
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  like it is like i am definitely where i i
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  have been i have been humbled i am like
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  not saying that i am humbled but i have been humbled in a
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  lot of ways so it's like nothing i'm i'm
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  not something ever where i would ever think
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  i mean i've i've just seen the worst in me and it's
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  like i almost i just would never wish the things
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  things that i've thought and gone through upon anyone
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  you know and it's just like some people like talking about
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  real stuff some people you know don't and
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  i think there's a time and place for everything sometimes it's just fun to
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  talk just talk about sports you know i loved i love
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  just talking about sports and sports can be the most fun
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  thing in the world what you actually feel you know it's
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  it can sometimes be tougher you know and i
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  think that's why it's nice to to do this you know not everybody
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  does this not everybody's going to go online and just
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  share what they think and just say
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  you know look at me world you
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  know i'm not gonna i'm just joking about that but like there's nobody's
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  not many people do that but i think
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  it's there is almost a cleansing of that
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  you know i i feel like i could just get off my
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  chest how i'm even though i might not be making any sense
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  but maybe somebody out there could be going through something.
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  You could be going through something and who
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  knows like just to have that like realization that somebody
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  else out there kind of gets me but i it doesn't
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  matter how how often like i talk about these things and create
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  videos or create just like shows and
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  do all this stuff like when i'm actually with somebody like
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  it's just that immediate awkwardness that
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  it's just like it's tough it's like i'm just
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  so just socially awkward in so
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  many ways that it's like i am i
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  i like i just talking to random just talking to people i i have this like compulsion
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  just to say everything and continue just to say something say something say
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  something say something just to fill the air because i'm so when i'm and i'm
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  talking about one-on-one with somebody so uncomfortable with the silence,
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  that I have to just say something and I never even know what the freak is coming
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  out of my mouth I never know how it's even because a lot of times then I.
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  Think about what the heck did I just say? Why did I just say that?
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  That was not at all what I'm meaning. And it probably came across terrible.
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  And even hearing myself say it, it sounded terrible.
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  I just say things just to say things to fill the air because I don't even know what it is.
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  And I've always struggled with that. I struggle with the same thing as just
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  if someone says something,
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  just laughing, just to almost this compulsion to
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  make other people feel good but it's like people don't
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  need to be everything they say laughed at you know
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  and everything they say smiled at you know but i just i've it's i
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  don't know what it is you know everybody has their quirks
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  everybody has their quirks you know
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  but you know it's just it's it's life and
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  i like this the description i put on here life is heavy life is heavy it can
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  be heavy at times heavy for anyone you know who knows i hope it's i hope it's
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  not heavy for you right now but maybe it is and maybe maybe anyone out there
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  ever hearing this you know just hear someone else.
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  Going through things you know and everybody's going through things everybody
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  has their own way they're wild way they're
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  wired the way you are wired and the
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  way that you approach life the way you feel about things what's
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  what really gets you going and all that and everybody's different
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  so i i'm not gonna really go into like any news
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  or sports you know i could i guess i could say this the chiefs are
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  still nine nine no so that's i'll throw that
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  in there chiefs are undefeated that was
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  they kind of you know snuck by by the
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  skin of their teeth is that the same is that how the same goes
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  either way i mean i know i i talk about i
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  always like if i bring up any sports i talk about the chiefs you know you
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  know you know i'm obsessed in that way you
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  know i like the chiefs you know but but someday
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  i mean i'll make a show do stuff about just
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  other sports not just talk about the Chiefs I gotta gotta
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  branch out you know I gotta feel my.
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  Get my feelers going you know and all that
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  so I don't know I either way we're almost
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  a hump day of this week and so
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  I hope you all out there are staying safe
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  and happy and everything's going well I know anybody
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  who's anybody you're gonna go through crap you're gonna
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  go through crap life is just gonna hit you in the knock you
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  down and but we all we all react to
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  it differently you know and i needed to
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  just talk about this just just randomly talk about hope none
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  of this probably made any sense but if it did
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  to anyone you know that's awesome so well
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  i think i'm gonna close up and
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  we'll just we'll keep going so in your
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  life keep going whatever you're doing just i hope it's i hope you know the other
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  people out there going through things as well and just just keep going and that's
• 20:21
  something i just gotta i struggle with just don't quit keep fighting keep going
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  so we'll leave it at that have a we'll just talk to you later have a wonderful day.