Latest / The Everyday Awesome Project / 136: Have You Stopped Dreaming? How to Start Wanting More Again

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136: Have You Stopped Dreaming? How to Start Wanting More Again · The Everyday Awesome Project

• 0:28
  Polly Mertens: Hey superstars, welcome back.
• 0:29
  Polly Mertens: Polly here.
• 0:30
  Samantha Pruitts: And Sam Pruitt.
• 0:32
  Samantha Pruitts: What's up, beautiful humans?
• 0:34
  Polly Mertens: Right, people.
• 0:35
  Polly Mertens: This is the Dreams episode, Afraid to Dream, right?
• 0:38
  Polly Mertens: You're not hopeless, you're afraid to hope.
• 0:41
  Polly Mertens: What even is that?
• 0:42
  Polly Mertens: That was something that we discovered as we were like, we gotta do this.
• 0:45
  Polly Mertens: Well, you're the one that was like, okay, I got the topic.
• 0:48
  Polly Mertens: And I was like, let me hear it.
• 0:50
  Polly Mertens: And this is a good one.
• 0:51
  Polly Mertens: We weren't even really planning to go on this, but like there's some things that you've been bumping into, and you're like, hold up, people, we need to talk about this, right?
• 0:59
  Polly Mertens: We weren't planning on doing this at all.
• 1:00
  Polly Mertens: Um, you know what?
• 1:01
  Polly Mertens: We do that a lot, don't we?
• 1:03
  Polly Mertens: Yeah, we live in the real world, which is fun.
• 1:06
  Polly Mertens: Okay, we're not professional podcasters for a living, like we live in the real world, we have very complex, full, robust lives that are full of all kinds of humans because we are in the business of humans.
• 1:20
  Polly Mertens: Yeah, that's what we do.
• 1:23
  Polly Mertens: So we always have something come up, multiple things in the course of a week, generally, where there'll be a theme and a common thread in our conversations and our experiences, etc.
• 1:34
  Polly Mertens: So this week, particularly, I was like, man, I'm bumping into a lot of people that are no longer dreaming or simply not capable of dreaming about their lives.
• 1:46
  Polly Mertens: And I want to freaking talk about that because that's not gonna work.
• 1:53
  Samantha Pruitts: That's not gonna work.
• 1:54
  Polly Mertens: I don't want that for them, but also that's not what we need in the world.
• 1:57
  Polly Mertens: They deserve more, the universe needs more.
• 2:00
  Polly Mertens: So let's unpack it for people and see if we can help someone else maybe unravel that if they're stuck in that place.
• 2:06
  Samantha Pruitts: Yeah, and I think you know, what we'll cover today is like, you know, what are we talking about, right?
• 2:11
  Samantha Pruitts: And I think if you're listening to this and you're like, what do you even mean?
• 2:14
  Samantha Pruitts: Like, I have plenty of dreams, and it's like, well, and and you know, when you were sharing with me the stories, I was like, Yeah, some people don't, right?
• 2:21
  Samantha Pruitts: So if you have dreams, you got more than you can handle, and you're going after them, great.
• 2:26
  Samantha Pruitts: Maybe you know somebody who's not, right?
• 2:29
  Samantha Pruitts: Like you and I are sitting here going, Yeah, I'm working on my dreams, or I've got some purpose and things that I'm pursuing.
• 2:33
  Samantha Pruitts: And some people are super clear, like mission fucking driven, like like you know, millions of lives and stuff like that.
• 2:40
  Samantha Pruitts: Okay, well, and and in practical level, it's like, yeah, dreams for this year, or you know, like even little things like you're working with someone that you know wants to lose some weight, all right.
• 2:49
  Samantha Pruitts: Like that's a that's a part of a dream, right?
• 2:51
  Samantha Pruitts: And then you can have some big ones like going back to school or starting a family or moving cross-country or, you know, whatever it is, right?
• 2:57
  Samantha Pruitts: So touching upon that and seeing what gets in the way.
• 3:00
  Samantha Pruitts: That's what we'll cover somewhat, is like what's gotten in the way or what could get in the way and how to get your way out of it, right?
• 3:06
  Samantha Pruitts: Because what really I think our intention with this conversation is if you find yourself with, you know, not a lot of dreams, you know, inspiring you and and pulling you forward, then you know, something to look at, right?
• 3:19
  Samantha Pruitts: And we're not saying it's you can you can have it the way that you want it, but if it's not feeling good, that's what we're here to talk about.
• 3:26
  Polly Mertens: Yeah.
• 3:27
  Polly Mertens: And let's just preempt the combo with our own personal perspective and stories.
• 3:32
  Polly Mertens: I'll start and then you go.
• 3:35
  Polly Mertens: So when I think of dreams or dreaming about my life, yes, it is true at this point in time.
• 3:43
  Polly Mertens: I dream all the time and I have no shortage of ideas about what I'd like to be doing in the future, what I'm interested in pursuing, how I'd like to develop myself, experience the world, et cetera.
• 3:55
  Polly Mertens: But that was definitely not always the case.
• 3:58
  Polly Mertens: I mean, some people will kind of look back on how they know me in the last whatever 10, 15, 20 years as an entrepreneur and as a coach and as somebody out doing all these great athletic feats, et cetera.
• 4:11
  Polly Mertens: But there was a Sam Pruitt before that, the Samantha Pruitt before that, right?
• 4:16
  Polly Mertens: And from an upbringing perspective and a family culture perspective, and even a societal, influential uh experience for me, that I wasn't necessarily a dreamer.
• 4:30
  Polly Mertens: But in hindsight, if I look at it, I came from dreamers.
• 4:33
  Polly Mertens: My parents immigrated to America.
• 4:35
  Polly Mertens: They dreamed of a future, they created a life for me and my brother and sister and our family unit, and they changed the whole game, right?
• 4:45
  Polly Mertens: Because they were dreamers and they did consistently pursue growth and opportunity, et cetera, as many, many immigrant people do, you know, and entrepreneurship too.
• 4:58
  Polly Mertens: They were big on that kind of thing.
• 5:00
  Polly Mertens: So I was I was raised, thankfully, with great gratitude in that kind of family unit culture.
• 5:05
  Polly Mertens: But I struggled with it personally, definitely as a young person, not understanding any of it, because it is hard to be a dreamer.
• 5:14
  Polly Mertens: You do fail a lot, it's really messy.
• 5:18
  Polly Mertens: Like shit is going down every 10 minutes, pretty much, if you are living by that sort of directive or internal intrinsic motivation, you know, knob.
• 5:29
  Polly Mertens: And then young adult teen, etc., there was definitely a part of time I sort of bailed on all that because it just I was just looking for security and comfort and consistency and all of the things that I thought were more important than pursuing dreams and ideas and aspirations.
• 5:49
  Polly Mertens: So I spent a big bubble of time in that, but I very quickly got miserable and the suffering compounded itself really rapidly when I was living that kind of way versus the person that I am today.
• 6:05
  Polly Mertens: So then I had to break out of that, right?
• 6:07
  Polly Mertens: And start dreaming again.
• 6:09
  Polly Mertens: And we'll get into why people don't dream or you know, what stops people from dreaming.
• 6:14
  Polly Mertens: But that's kind of my own journey.
• 6:16
  Polly Mertens: And once I really got back in touch with why I am who I am and what I want to do in the world, and just started basically trying stuff, being brave enough again to try and have ambitions and have dreams and have hopes.
• 6:32
  Polly Mertens: Once I got back in touch with that version of me, that's where joy lives for me.
• 6:38
  Polly Mertens: That's where adventure lives for me.
• 6:40
  Polly Mertens: That's where sure, still messy failure, chaos can live.
• 6:43
  Polly Mertens: Hell yeah.
• 6:45
  Polly Mertens: But now I find it quite entertaining and fun.
• 6:48
  Polly Mertens: Rather than just that other way of being, which is um numb to what's possible for me.
• 6:54
  Polly Mertens: That's kind of how I perceive it is my potential lives in the dreaming.
• 6:59
  Samantha Pruitts: You know, when I was hearing you share all that, something that was present.
• 7:03
  Samantha Pruitts: So I've been, I was having a conversation this morning with um someone about the like awe and wonder.
• 7:08
  Samantha Pruitts: He's in a program that's like introducing awe and wonder, and there's some research out there about awe and the benefits of it.
• 7:14
  Samantha Pruitts: And, you know, some of it's like just going out in nature and being awed by that or whatever.
• 7:18
  Samantha Pruitts: And what I was hearing as you were saying is like there was like this period or this framing, this period of your life where like awe and wonder wasn't available or accessible because it was survival.
• 7:29
  Samantha Pruitts: It was like get you know, get my basic needs met or something.
• 7:32
  Samantha Pruitts: And then you've, you know, built your way out of that and now have, you know, a bigger perspective.
• 7:39
  Samantha Pruitts: And as you do that, you've almost gone back into a childlike, you know, I heard the word adventure come out, you know, and I would throw in there maybe a curious and curiosity.
• 7:47
  Samantha Pruitts: And like, you know, one of the things I love is like I I think in this research that this guy was sharing with me about the awe study, it was like they're having 70 plus year old people, they say that the awe and wonder is like peak, you know, some people like in their fifty, I think it was like 40 to 70, and then they saw a decline after 70.
• 8:04
  Samantha Pruitts: So we said, after 70, why were people like no longer dreaming and happy about the future and stuff like that?
• 8:10
  Samantha Pruitts: Yeah, of course, there's like the eminent question mark, and your friends are passing away or whatever.
• 8:16
  Samantha Pruitts: But it was like, but you still could have it like present in your life.
• 8:19
  Samantha Pruitts: And so they started these awe walks where it was like go out and just bring childlike, like your childlike self to the world.
• 8:26
  Samantha Pruitts: And what I was hearing, what you're sharing, is like your your childlike curiosity, explore, let me see what I can do, you know, like what's capable, what's possible, instead of just sort of hankering down or inhibiting, you know, your dreams and and your fascination of life at the same time.
• 8:45
  Polly Mertens: So yeah, yeah.
• 8:46
  Polly Mertens: I mean, there's a lot of empowerment in that way of living versus the opposite, right?
• 8:51
  Polly Mertens: Where you're disempowered.
• 8:53
  Polly Mertens: Share your ideas about dreaming or how you dream or think about dreaming for your own life and maybe a little bit of history.
• 9:00
  Samantha Pruitts: Well, you know me as a structured person, so I get probably like one story I have is well, you know, I sometimes I so I'm a I would say like I have this pipeline to my source or my highest self or something like that.
• 9:18
  Samantha Pruitts: And I just call it I get downloads, right?
• 9:20
  Samantha Pruitts: And so I'll get downloads.
• 9:21
  Samantha Pruitts: I can remember when I was in college, I had a download that was like, and I was living in California.
• 9:26
  Samantha Pruitts: I was like, oh, you need to go to Santa Fe after graduate school.
• 9:29
  Samantha Pruitts: And I was like, huh, where's the So I did it, you know, like I got in my car and threw my bike and like drove to Santa Fe and I like the adventure of it, but I didn't Santa Fe was like, okay, turn around, come back.
• 9:42
  Samantha Pruitts: You know, I was like, I don't know why I did that.
• 9:43
  Samantha Pruitts: Check, you know, and then I have those downloads about places on the planet to visit and things, and I remember another one was I was living in the San Francisco Bay Area, and some of the what helped me cause me dream, and I think this is true in life, is we get so clear on what we don't want for ourselves, like whether it's a relationship or the circumstance or the environment, you know, just like the the day in, day out, eight, eight to five, going to a job that you hate kind of energy that can cause you to dream.
• 10:13
  Samantha Pruitts: Like it gets you clear, right?
• 10:14
  Samantha Pruitts: The Abraham Hicks would say the contrast makes you a creator because then you create your dream, if you will.
• 10:20
  Samantha Pruitts: And so I created a dream of leaving the Bay Area and I didn't know exactly where or what, but I was like, it can't look like this any longer.
• 10:26
  Samantha Pruitts: I'm not gonna, you know, this ain't gonna be the the ticket for the next 40 years.
• 10:30
  Samantha Pruitts: So then I dreamed and I found a idea and I moved to San Luis Obispo and, you know, and all fast forward and stuff.
• 10:37
  Samantha Pruitts: So, but I would say, and we'll talk about this a little bit later, is I do know some areas of my life that I I shut it down still, you know, and we'll talk about like how so one of my little nemesis that I'm putting out in front of me, I'm more aware that it's a pattern way of being is around doubt.
• 10:55
  Samantha Pruitts: And I think when the uh doubt gremlin creeps in, you know, a dream can like you're starting to like feed and water a dream, and then you just like starve it, you know.
• 11:05
  Samantha Pruitts: So yeah.
• 11:06
  Samantha Pruitts: So I've had like sometimes I dream big and I allow it, and then some things, you know, with a repetition of like, oh, that didn't work out, oh that didn't work out, that didn't work out, you know.
• 11:15
  Samantha Pruitts: That's where you get that resilience, you know.
• 11:17
  Samantha Pruitts: It's like get back up and ride that dream horse again, you know.
• 11:20
  Polly Mertens: So if you have the resilience to do that, let's dig right into why people don't or sometimes can't dream.
• 11:27
  Polly Mertens: One of them is what you kind of talked about, and I talked about briefly too, is this survive survival mode of operating, right?
• 11:34
  Polly Mertens: There is, and we want to give great respect and acknowledgement to times in your life or people who might be listening right now in their life where the shit is going down.
• 11:44
  Polly Mertens: Okay, they're in survival mode for whatever reason, you know, relationship, finances, job, security, food, housing, etc., health crisis, you know, there's so many things that can put us into that state.
• 11:58
  Polly Mertens: Um, and if you're in that state, it is nearby impossible to dream.
• 12:07
  Polly Mertens: Okay, because your body and your nervous system and your brain is basically saying none of those things are a priority right now.
• 12:13
  Polly Mertens: Your priority is to stay alive.
• 12:16
  Polly Mertens: The basic human instinct is to stay alive, right?
• 12:19
  Polly Mertens: How will I survive this next moment to moment, day to day?
• 12:23
  Polly Mertens: So we want to give respect that there is a time and a place that that dreams, it's not that they'll never come again or that they're not there, they are just not at the surface.
• 12:34
  Polly Mertens: It's very difficult to tap into them.
• 12:36
  Polly Mertens: Wouldn't you agree?
• 12:37
  Samantha Pruitts: Yeah, you know, I was doing a little background on this, and I was like, this reminds me of like Maslow's hierarchy of needs, right?
• 12:43
  Samantha Pruitts: And so if you think about Maslow's, if you haven't studied him, it's basically like the shape of a triangle, and the base of it is like you don't get to the higher steps or the highest part of the triangle, which is like self-actualization and inspiration, godliness, and you know, like enlightenment or whatever.
• 13:00
  Samantha Pruitts: If you're you you have to have the foundation first, and the foundation is like safety, shelter, security, some would say connection, you know, type of thing.
• 13:10
  Samantha Pruitts: And then you can move up and then and then you can get to higher and higher rungs.
• 13:13
  Samantha Pruitts: So when you're saying that, I was like, if if your basic needs, safety, food, shelter, security, depending on what level you describe that as, like dreaming is a luxury, you know, and you're just getting basic needs met, right?
• 13:27
  Samantha Pruitts: And so some of this that I found in studying this is like when you're overwhelmed, financially stressed, caregiving, grieving, burned out, or just chronically exhausted, the nervous system is running in threat mode.
• 13:39
  Samantha Pruitts: And it says that the brain, when a brain in threat mode cannot access what's called the default mode network.
• 13:45
  Samantha Pruitts: And the default mode network is where we access dreams and you know that gets turned on, if you will.
• 13:52
  Samantha Pruitts: So we all have that ability, but it's like it like the brain, the body, brain survival mode is like, hey, gotta put calories over into, you know, getting food and shelter and stuff like that.
• 14:03
  Samantha Pruitts: Don't have time to put calories into dreaming.
• 14:05
  Samantha Pruitts: So it's always there, you know, that capability, but we have to get that floor in, we have to get that foundation in before we can access.
• 14:13
  Samantha Pruitts: And, you know, one of my favorite quotes, and we talk about, you know, when we think of our basic needs, sometimes those basic needs, even when we're winning in the thing called life, you know, you've got a house and whatever, you can have a detour.
• 14:24
  Samantha Pruitts: Like you had a, you know, an injury last year, right?
• 14:29
  Samantha Pruitts: And so one of my favorite lines is like, a man who has man or woman who has their health has unlimited dreams, has a thousand dreams, and a man or woman who doesn't have their health, they have but one.
• 14:41
  Samantha Pruitts: And it's like it's so true.
• 14:43
  Samantha Pruitts: It's like when you don't have your foundation in place, when you don't have your basic needs met, or you're you're you get you get a wobble in that, you know, like you get an injury or an illness or something.
• 14:52
  Samantha Pruitts: It's like you gotta that's becomes the priority.
• 14:55
  Polly Mertens: So yeah, that's where that resiliency kicks in.
• 14:58
  Polly Mertens: One thing I want to mention why people maybe can or are not dreaming.
• 15:03
  Polly Mertens: We've talked a lot on the pod about like fear of failure.
• 15:07
  Polly Mertens: So some people just don't want to dream big because they're afraid of failing.
• 15:12
  Polly Mertens: That is a real thing, and fear of success is a real thing, two sides of the coin there.
• 15:18
  Polly Mertens: So that might hold some people back is the judgment associated with failure, personal or external, the fear of success and what that might come with, what sort of package there is there, right?
• 15:34
  Polly Mertens: Like, so we do have some people that like to sort of hang out in the gray zone middle, right?
• 15:39
  Polly Mertens: I'm not crushing it like the number one person over here on the team or whatever, but I'm also not at the bottom rung, the back of the pack person.
• 15:49
  Polly Mertens: You know, I'm gonna stay in here in this little comfort bubble where people don't really look too closely at what I'm doing, and I can just be comfortable that there isn't a lot of additional pressure to either perform or embarrassment from lack of performance.
• 16:04
  Polly Mertens: So that's pretty common.
• 16:05
  Polly Mertens: We see that actually quite a bit in humans, and maybe somebody listening can identify that they might be hanging out in the bubble.
• 16:12
  Polly Mertens: They're leaving a lot of their life on the table, is all I want to say about that before we move on to the next thing.
• 16:16
  Polly Mertens: It's like, you know, yeah.
• 16:19
  Polly Mertens: Again, just no, no, no.
• 16:22
  Polly Mertens: Like there's so much left in your own potential that you're not going to be able to receive what is available for you or tap into if you hang out in that place.
• 16:34
  Polly Mertens: So I would just encourage you to step out of that little comfort zone for a hot minute.
• 16:40
  Samantha Pruitts: Yeah, and just to kind of click down a couple, what starts to what I'm present to when you share that is like the fears, let's call it success, failure.
• 16:48
  Samantha Pruitts: That to me is like the root, root, root of that is like I won't be loved.
• 16:53
  Samantha Pruitts: You know, like, oh, if I'm too successful, people won't love me, or if I'm a failure, oh, I won't be loved, right?
• 16:58
  Samantha Pruitts: And then the if I do go for it and I am like different, right?
• 17:03
  Samantha Pruitts: Like, or I I stand out, right, then I won't belong.
• 17:06
  Samantha Pruitts: Right.
• 17:06
  Samantha Pruitts: So those are two human fears.
• 17:08
  Samantha Pruitts: The deeply most core fears that every human being is walking around wired for is the need for love and the need for belonging, right?
• 17:16
  Samantha Pruitts: And so if we, like you said, go into these dimensions.
• 17:19
  Samantha Pruitts: And what's interesting is it's all a construct, right?
• 17:22
  Samantha Pruitts: It's all a construct in our mind.
• 17:23
  Samantha Pruitts: If I do that and this happens, you don't even know.
• 17:26
  Samantha Pruitts: Like we have no idea where the potential is.
• 17:28
  Samantha Pruitts: It's like maybe, maybe not, you know, but we do just like, no, uh, and it's all so below the the the conscious level, you know.
• 17:37
  Polly Mertens: It's like I mean, sometimes it is some people actually verbalize it.
• 17:40
  Polly Mertens: Yeah.
• 17:40
  Polly Mertens: I have been in a work environment this last year with a team that a lot of it does actually get projected and verbalized.
• 17:47
  Polly Mertens: And I'm like, wow, you actually said that out loud.
• 17:49
  Polly Mertens: Holy shit.
• 17:52
  Polly Mertens: Um, like in instances where teammates saying to other teammates, like, you know, why are you showing off?
• 17:59
  Polly Mertens: Why are you overperforming?
• 18:00
  Polly Mertens: So trying to put the A-team players like, hey, get back in your place.
• 18:04
  Polly Mertens: Oh, I'm gonna push you out of the circle, I'm gonna call you out on your exceptional performance.
• 18:10
  Polly Mertens: What the hell is that shit?
• 18:12
  Polly Mertens: The opposite, so it's like you're pushing people down, right?
• 18:16
  Polly Mertens: Back into the insecurity, yeah.
• 18:18
  Polly Mertens: As a group, right, comparison and all that kind of stuff.
• 18:22
  Polly Mertens: Or somebody just absolutely flailing, not doing well, and the team not picking that person up and nurturing them back into the team space so they can get their skills, time, focus, energy, whatever recalibrated from the failure back into performance.
• 18:43
  Polly Mertens: And unfortunately, I've seen this not just in work environments, even though that's very common, but in family units also, which this is like criminal behavior, you know, because what in the hell are we doing to each other?
• 18:59
  Polly Mertens: Give me a freaking break.
• 19:00
  Polly Mertens: Right.
• 19:01
  Polly Mertens: So changing the culture of a family or a work team, breaking that dysfunction and changing the culture is no shortage of work, but that is critical if you recognize that in the space that you're hanging out in, whether at home, in family, or at work.
• 19:18
  Polly Mertens: Don't be afraid to speak up about it and find some support to get the culture shift to manifest.
• 19:24
  Polly Mertens: Or you just don't belong in that space and you'll have to exit.
• 19:29
  Samantha Pruitts: Yeah, I would say surround yourself with dreamers and cheerleaders.
• 19:32
  Samantha Pruitts: You know, it's like you got a dream, great, go for it and cheer you.
• 19:36
  Samantha Pruitts: Like everybody's just high-fying the fuck out of whatever you're like, you want that, I want that for you.
• 19:41
  Samantha Pruitts: Get it, you know, and keeping keeping that spirit.
• 19:45
  Polly Mertens: Dude, high fives are worth a million dollars.
• 19:47
  Polly Mertens: Today I went to the gym and all the treadmills were busy.
• 19:50
  Polly Mertens: It's hot, hot, hot here.
• 19:51
  Polly Mertens: So I was like, I gotta go run outside, I gotta run some labs outside.
• 19:55
  Polly Mertens: It's like 90 degrees.
• 19:56
  Polly Mertens: So I'm like running around the park, and there are some people in the park, and a couple is like this old lady I see all the some people I generally see or like watch out the window, and I went around and high-fived every one of them.
• 20:06
  Polly Mertens: Okay, this one, you know, like who are these people?
• 20:09
  Polly Mertens: I don't know these people, right?
• 20:11
  Polly Mertens: But everybody wants a high five.
• 20:13
  Polly Mertens: Okay, I do that with my teammates all the time.
• 20:16
  Polly Mertens: It's so fun.
• 20:17
  Polly Mertens: So, yeah, give off the good vibes.
• 20:19
  Samantha Pruitts: Yeah, love it, love it, love it.
• 20:21
  Polly Mertens: One you want to talk about that well, actually, I want to save yours for the end.
• 20:25
  Polly Mertens: One more before we go to yours.
• 20:26
  Polly Mertens: Yeah, a lack of personal self-worth.
• 20:31
  Polly Mertens: So an unworthiness will be a reason that somebody doesn't dream.
• 20:36
  Polly Mertens: Also, it's a little bit akin to what we just talked about with the fear of success and fear of failure, which is externalized, though, society, other people's judgment, etc.
• 20:46
  Polly Mertens: The internal voice is the I'm not worthy, and therefore I should not attempt the dream.
• 20:55
  Polly Mertens: Now that is a deep dark undercurrent, very subtle sometimes.
• 21:04
  Polly Mertens: People have very little awareness to that possible internal voice, but that mofo will run your life.
• 21:12
  Samantha Pruitts: And oh, I'm I'm I'm getting like like my body is crawling right now, just like thinking that.
• 21:18
  Samantha Pruitts: And I've had those moments.
• 21:19
  Samantha Pruitts: I'm not I like you look, you and I, the stuff we talk about here, this is not like, oh, it happens to everybody else and it doesn't happen to us.
• 21:26
  Samantha Pruitts: Like, nope, nope, you know, you know, been there, done that, or still still doing it, still humaning over here, right?
• 21:32
  Samantha Pruitts: Like, because this next one we'll talk about in the hope direction is like, I was like, oh my God, I gotta like totally call myself out on this, you know.
• 21:39
  Samantha Pruitts: But so yeah, you know, I've been so doing so much work lately around that, you know, monkey mind and just really being, you know, what there's a book, Gary Zuckoff's Seat of the Soul, and there's others out there that really teach like being in your soul, right?
• 21:56
  Samantha Pruitts: And being in your heart space, being not connected to just but because like it's so bizarre.
• 22:01
  Samantha Pruitts: These things we call thoughts, we think that we're it.
• 22:04
  Samantha Pruitts: It's like, we're not that.
• 22:06
  Samantha Pruitts: We're not those thoughts.
• 22:07
  Samantha Pruitts: We're that's you know, like my favorite analogy lately with Ram Doss is like you're the sky and you have clouds passing through, just like thoughts are sort of floating through the sky.
• 22:19
  Samantha Pruitts: They come and they go, and it's like, you're not a cloud.
• 22:22
  Samantha Pruitts: You're for the fucking sky, the whole thing.
• 22:25
  Samantha Pruitts: Like you're all of it.
• 22:26
  Samantha Pruitts: And when I hear what you're just saying, I was like, oh, stop being the let the cloud tell you who to be.
• 22:32
  Samantha Pruitts: You know, it's like just let it go.
• 22:35
  Samantha Pruitts: Let it go.
• 22:35
  Samantha Pruitts: Yeah.
• 22:36
  Samantha Pruitts: So what I wanted to share, anything more on that?
• 22:38
  Samantha Pruitts: I just wondered.
• 22:39
  Samantha Pruitts: No, go, girl.
• 22:40
  Samantha Pruitts: So this was just you know a little research.
• 22:42
  Samantha Pruitts: You know, me and I love like playing around and fact-finding and stuff.
• 22:45
  Samantha Pruitts: So there's this uh study that was done out of where was it?
• 22:49
  Samantha Pruitts: Out of, oh wait, I lost it.
• 22:51
  Samantha Pruitts: Rutgers, I think it was, that the hope.
• 22:54
  Samantha Pruitts: Oh, wait, I lost it.
• 22:56
  Samantha Pruitts: Hope, fear of hope is what they called it.
• 22:59
  Samantha Pruitts: So Rutgers identified something called the fear of hope, and it's the apprehension aroused by feeling hopeful.
• 23:07
  Samantha Pruitts: That almost doesn't seem like a sentence.
• 23:09
  Samantha Pruitts: The apprehension aroused by feeling hopeful.
• 23:13
  Samantha Pruitts: You're like, hopeful makes you feel hopeful.
• 23:16
  Samantha Pruitts: It's like, in some people, it gets a little twisted.
• 23:19
  Samantha Pruitts: And I'm I'm raising my hand here saying I can relate to this.
• 23:23
  Samantha Pruitts: Hope leads to apprehension, right?
• 23:26
  Samantha Pruitts: And so it reflects an implicit coupling of hope and disappointment.
• 23:30
  Samantha Pruitts: So you've linked up in the mind, hope is disappointing.
• 23:33
  Samantha Pruitts: It's like, no, you should right.
• 23:34
  Samantha Pruitts: So that rising aspirations induce feelings of threat.
• 23:39
  Samantha Pruitts: Threat.
• 23:40
  Samantha Pruitts: Not even just like, oh, I'm a little disappointed, but like it's a threat.
• 23:44
  Samantha Pruitts: Like you shouldn't do that.
• 23:45
  Samantha Pruitts: So they found that what often seems like hopelessness in some people is actually a fear of hope.
• 23:52
  Samantha Pruitts: And they're two different things.
• 23:53
  Samantha Pruitts: They say that some of the most painful situations occur for people.
• 23:57
  Samantha Pruitts: And I think I've been there when both hope, which I love, like I love myself some hope, and fear of hope are simultaneous.
• 24:05
  Samantha Pruitts: They're high simultaneously.
• 24:07
  Samantha Pruitts: It's like, have a lot of hope and have a lot of threat caused by the fear of it.
• 24:11
  Samantha Pruitts: It's like, oh, like talk about, you know.
• 24:14
  Polly Mertens: So and does that come from the question, what if?
• 24:17
  Polly Mertens: Like, what's the first thing that comes to your brain when you think about linking those two things?
• 24:24
  Polly Mertens: When I think about linking them, yeah, like how you just described it when you were talking, the question that kept coming up is like, so what if?
• 24:33
  Polly Mertens: So I have hope.
• 24:34
  Polly Mertens: So what if, what if, what if, what if, right?
• 24:36
  Polly Mertens: Like it's this fear of what's gonna happen next.
• 24:40
  Polly Mertens: Or is it the fear of being disappointed?
• 24:43
  Samantha Pruitts: Yeah, I was just gonna say, for me, it's like it's like there's like the disappointment, like the mind throws me back to, oh, you tried that and remember?
• 24:51
  Samantha Pruitts: Wow.
• 24:51
  Samantha Pruitts: Well, you remember when you did that and it didn't work out?
• 24:54
  Samantha Pruitts: Whoa, right.
• 24:55
  Samantha Pruitts: So it's like, do I dare to dream, dare to hope that I could do this?
• 25:00
  Samantha Pruitts: And then, you know, it's like the stacking of the cards against, well, that didn't work out.
• 25:05
  Samantha Pruitts: That didn't work out, but you still like because I I just tend to be a hopeful person.
• 25:10
  Samantha Pruitts: I don't know if it's a genetic trait or whatever, but like I love being hopeful for other people mostly.
• 25:15
  Samantha Pruitts: I'm like, you know, that's what I think makes us great coaches.
• 25:18
  Samantha Pruitts: I'm like, I see that for you, you know, like I was on a call.
• 25:20
  Samantha Pruitts: Everything is possible.
• 25:22
  Samantha Pruitts: So I call this morning with a book, a bookkeeper and a client are working together for the first time.
• 25:28
  Samantha Pruitts: And I'm like, and I'm so glad to see you guys working together.
• 25:32
  Samantha Pruitts: We're gonna like triple this business.
• 25:34
  Samantha Pruitts: You know, I'm just like, I just see so much potential, right?
• 25:37
  Samantha Pruitts: Which is great.
• 25:37
  Samantha Pruitts: And then, you know, you get those, and then if I could just like carve out that part of my brain that remembers the the failure, just be like, just yeah, just eject those out the side.
• 25:47
  Samantha Pruitts: Yeah, they happened.
• 25:48
  Samantha Pruitts: So that's that's you know, do I have a threat of it?
• 25:53
  Samantha Pruitts: I don't maybe I'm not in that.
• 25:55
  Samantha Pruitts: Maybe I'm in a little bit of the hopelessness, not necessarily deep in the fear of hope.
• 26:01
  Samantha Pruitts: So maybe I don't can't.
• 26:03
  Polly Mertens: You know, I'm wondering so much, and I was trying to explore this for myself while you were talking.
• 26:09
  Polly Mertens: Is it the experience when it all went terribly wrong that was so painful?
• 26:17
  Polly Mertens: And so there's a story attached to that painful moment of being disappointed, being let down, being you know failing, whatever the things were, you know, financial this, relationship, this, the the list could go on and on and on.
• 26:32
  Polly Mertens: Trying something and not making it.
• 26:34
  Polly Mertens: It could be, you know, I did a race and I ended up in the freaking med 10, I didn't finish right.
• 26:38
  Polly Mertens: It could be whatever the thing was that we have either historically one time or repeatedly done, and it hasn't gone well.
• 26:48
  Polly Mertens: That we that suffering, we somehow are locked in there, or there's a piece of us on a cellular level that is locked to that pain.
• 26:58
  Polly Mertens: So now we try and do something completely different, but we circle back to it now.
• 27:03
  Polly Mertens: It's like a scar tissue.
• 27:04
  Samantha Pruitts: And you know, as we were saying that, I was thinking about like the people that are the completely fucking opposite, like two ideas was like Diana Nayad, you know, swam the freaking Key West, you know, Cuba to Key West, like that girl, 30-year dream type of thing.
• 27:17
  Samantha Pruitts: And she failed seven times or something, right?
• 27:19
  Samantha Pruitts: But like she was like at the top of the boat, like, we're doing this, and then like Einstein 10,000 times with the electricity, and yeah, he finally got it, you know.
• 27:29
  Polly Mertens: But so, like, dude, I just watched a movie last night on YouTube.
• 27:32
  Polly Mertens: Heads up to anyone who wants to watch this about the Kokodona 250.
• 27:36
  Polly Mertens: Ah, so remember, I was supposed to do the Kokodona 250 and I hurt my back.
• 27:40
  Polly Mertens: So now I had to, you know, read negotiate, whatever, and I got out of shape.
• 27:43
  Polly Mertens: So I am gonna do one of their races again, but I'm not doing the 250.
• 27:47
  Polly Mertens: But I've been at it, pasted it, all those things.
• 27:49
  Polly Mertens: So there is a movie that just came out on YouTube, and it's so cool.
• 27:53
  Polly Mertens: It's against the clock.
• 27:55
  Polly Mertens: And so basically, it's about all the people who do not finish or almost finish, or maybe are going to finish.
• 28:03
  Polly Mertens: I don't want to give the whole storyline away.
• 28:05
  Polly Mertens: And it tracks these people over a couple years, and there is a cluster of them that keep showing up even though they have not finished.
• 28:14
  Polly Mertens: Okay, and I have those friends.
• 28:16
  Polly Mertens: I've been at those races.
• 28:19
  Polly Mertens: I personally haven't done that repeated behavior, but like I can so relate.
• 28:25
  Polly Mertens: And watching this is so beautiful, by the way.
• 28:27
  Polly Mertens: I can't tell you how it is.
• 28:28
  Polly Mertens: I can't tell you how it is.
• 28:30
  Polly Mertens: But I was so inspired.
• 28:31
  Polly Mertens: Literally, I'm sitting there on my phone simultaneously looking up races.
• 28:34
  Polly Mertens: I'm already registered for two races a hundred mile or an eighty mile, but I'm like, oh my god, I gotta go, I gotta get something else.
• 28:40
  Polly Mertens: Don't do it, don't do it.
• 28:42
  Polly Mertens: Because I so so appreciate with every ounce of my being the struggle, the commitment, the dedication, the drive, the starting and failing, all of it, the whole freaking journey for me.
• 29:01
  Polly Mertens: I mean, the race is just like one analogy of this, but I did this with businesses, right?
• 29:05
  Polly Mertens: I've had freaking over 10 businesses.
• 29:07
  Polly Mertens: Like, this is kind of a little bit of the story of my life.
• 29:09
  Polly Mertens: Like, I so love this because I feel so freaking alive in these moments.
• 29:17
  Polly Mertens: And you're watching these people, you're bearing witness, and you're going, What's that fool doing?
• 29:22
  Polly Mertens: Why are they gonna do that again?
• 29:23
  Polly Mertens: That's not gonna go well, you know what I mean?
• 29:25
  Polly Mertens: You can you're like predicting for them.
• 29:27
  Polly Mertens: How the hell do we know?
• 29:28
  Polly Mertens: Totally, and some surprise us and some don't, and whatever.
• 29:31
  Polly Mertens: But it's like that's humanity.
• 29:33
  Polly Mertens: What in the hell at the core of humanity is evolution, right?
• 29:36
  Polly Mertens: So if we evolved and we continue to evolve, isn't this really what we're talking about?
• 29:43
  Samantha Pruitts: Wow, wow.
• 29:44
  Samantha Pruitts: Well, you know, I think about, you know, I've been just I get off in woo-woo land, you know that.
• 29:49
  Samantha Pruitts: And so, you know, off in woo-woo land, talking about our souls and how we incarnate.
• 29:54
  Samantha Pruitts: And I watch all these NDEs, near death experiences, and how people come back.
• 29:57
  Samantha Pruitts: And yeah, you're you still have a purpose here and you still have things to do.
• 30:00
  Samantha Pruitts: And you and I talk about earth school, and I've been learning some other things from these woo-woo moments about earth school.
• 30:04
  Samantha Pruitts: I'm like, it's a fucking thing.
• 30:06
  Samantha Pruitts: Like, it's a real thing.
• 30:07
  Samantha Pruitts: So, what I love is like accurate, yeah.
• 30:10
  Samantha Pruitts: I love see like that.
• 30:11
  Samantha Pruitts: Reminds me of like you're present to somebody else's journey and their whatever struggle, suffer, whatever.
• 30:20
  Samantha Pruitts: But like they came here for that experience that car incarnated so that they could grow through that, whatever it is.
• 30:28
  Samantha Pruitts: And I'm witnessing it is like our growth too.
• 30:31
  Samantha Pruitts: It's right, like, don't you, you know, we see the triumphs on the Olympics or whatever.
• 30:36
  Samantha Pruitts: And it could be small and big, like on a family scale, like somebody finally leaving that job or that person or going and doing the thing that they've always whatever it is, right?
• 30:44
  Samantha Pruitts: Like, and we're so inspired by the things that people are up to in their life, right?
• 30:48
  Samantha Pruitts: Their life school is teaching us or just warming our heart and being and sometimes it like sparks a fire, you know, like that's what you and I hope to do with more is just like ding, like you, you can't, you know.
• 31:01
  Samantha Pruitts: So, like that fear of hope thing, just gotta like it, you know, like like whammy it, you know, and and be present to the the hope is I've I have a thing, and Linda, my mentor, taught me this is like if it feels light, it's right.
• 31:16
  Samantha Pruitts: So if you have hope for something, if it's like if it lights up your soul, if it lights you up, even if it looks hard, whatever, you're like, that looks amazing and freaking hard, you know, like when you told me about trans Rockys, I was like, sounds amazing, damn, you know.
• 31:30
  Samantha Pruitts: But I was a yes for it, right?
• 31:32
  Samantha Pruitts: You just gotta like kill off that, you know, that little gremlin or whatever.
• 31:37
  Samantha Pruitts: And whether it's doubt, you know, I have that little reminder of like, maybe you can't do it, you know, type thing.
• 31:43
  Samantha Pruitts: So just keep going.
• 31:44
  Polly Mertens: You mean that bullshit story?
• 31:46
  Polly Mertens: Bullshit.
• 31:47
  Samantha Pruitts: Yeah, totally, totally.
• 31:48
  Polly Mertens: Let's get into how people can start dreaming or dream more, dream bigger, dream higher, etc.
• 31:56
  Polly Mertens: I want to kind of introduce a concept called incubation.
• 31:59
  Samantha Pruitts: Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 32:01
  Polly Mertens: Just to kind of define it first because you love definitions and I want to make you happy today.
• 32:06
  Polly Mertens: Do you want me to go look it up?
• 32:07
  Polly Mertens: No, no, you got it.
• 32:09
  Polly Mertens: You got it.
• 32:09
  Polly Mertens: I go, I'm gonna beat her to it.
• 32:11
  Polly Mertens: Incubation.
• 32:12
  Polly Mertens: And I love this concept of dream incubation.
• 32:16
  Polly Mertens: I love that.
• 32:18
  Polly Mertens: Okay, the process of creating optimal conditions for development, incubation, incubation, the process of creating optimal conditions for development.
• 32:29
  Polly Mertens: Okay, how again, evolution, like you just think of us as little cells, and then so everything about the human experience, and I would say the natural world, and all of it started and continues with incubation.
• 32:52
  Polly Mertens: I'm still in incubation right now, continuing to develop this person in this body.
• 32:59
  Polly Mertens: Okay, so I'm on the path, you're on the path.
• 33:02
  Polly Mertens: We keep going.
• 33:03
  Polly Mertens: So if we think about dreams as part of an incubation process for us, how do we go about the incubation, if you will?
• 33:11
  Polly Mertens: So, first we want to start with clear intentions, which could look like a simple statement.
• 33:17
  Polly Mertens: Yes, right?
• 33:18
  Polly Mertens: Simple.
• 33:19
  Polly Mertens: Don't overcomplicate it, fools.
• 33:21
  Polly Mertens: Okay, don't make it so well, the only way I'm gonna be winning if it's got the you know, all of these things attached to it, and you know, this whole complex hundred-page dissertation about the damn thing.
• 33:33
  Polly Mertens: Okay, keep it simple.
• 33:35
  Polly Mertens: Yeah, if it's a health goal or outcome, you know, my dream would be to be in a healthy body with functioning body systems, you know.
• 33:48
  Polly Mertens: Like again, keep these things simple.
• 33:50
  Polly Mertens: If it's a fitness goal, simplify it.
• 33:52
  Polly Mertens: If it's a money goal, simplify it.
• 33:54
  Polly Mertens: Relationship goal, whatever.
• 33:56
  Polly Mertens: Like, keep it simple.
• 33:57
  Polly Mertens: So out of the gate, I really want to stress that.
• 34:01
  Samantha Pruitts: Okay, I agree.
• 34:02
  Samantha Pruitts: I yeah, because I've I've done programs, like I remember doing this course, it was called Lifebook, and it was beautiful and wonderful.
• 34:08
  Samantha Pruitts: And you, I mean, it probably took I think it took six weeks, and you went through like those say six quadrants of your life, and you just really dreamed and you got bit whatever, and you created this big, beautiful life book and stuff, and it was like it was so much, you know.
• 34:22
  Samantha Pruitts: I mean, like I think there's I think there's a place for it, you know.
• 34:27
  Samantha Pruitts: I mean, it had like I had like all these statements, and then I had a collage for each one, and I was like ginormous, and you know, it was just a little, yeah, like you said, I think because I think especially when it's like something you're intending or wanting, dreaming about in the sooner, right?
• 34:44
  Samantha Pruitts: Like it needs to be like top of mind, like you need to be able to say it like it just spills off your tongue because like if it's you know 300 words or you know, paragraphs, keep it simple.
• 34:56
  Polly Mertens: So I agree with you, keep it freaking simple and then write it down or speak it out loud, or both, ideally, both.
• 35:04
  Samantha Pruitts: Declare it.
• 35:04
  Samantha Pruitts: I'm a big fan of declaring it, yeah.
• 35:06
  Polly Mertens: Declare it.
• 35:07
  Polly Mertens: So you writing it down is declaring it to yourself, speaking it out loud with somebody that you entrust with your dreams is to speak it out loud into the universe, and the reason obviously it gives it energy.
• 35:20
  Polly Mertens: I mean, you and I know, like literally, there will be an energetic response to that.
• 35:24
  Polly Mertens: Both of those process, you know, and it's a claiming, yeah.
• 35:30
  Polly Mertens: It's me claiming my voice, my truth.
• 35:34
  Polly Mertens: That's freaking huge.
• 35:36
  Samantha Pruitts: The power of that, yeah, craziness, madness, you know, and in you know, uh uh metaphysics and whatever in the communication world, we would say that like the the the speaking is only like you know, does a tree uh a tree that falls in the uh forest, does anybody hear it, right?
• 35:55
  Samantha Pruitts: If there's no listening, right?
• 35:56
  Samantha Pruitts: So, you know, God created the world with the spoken word or something like that, right?
• 36:02
  Samantha Pruitts: Like there's like the speaking of things, the translation, it's there's so many dimensions and so many theories on it.
• 36:09
  Samantha Pruitts: So just speaking it, and I really think what's key about what you said is like to people that would be your cheerleader, would believe in it for you, would hold you in a space of you having that, right?
• 36:20
  Samantha Pruitts: Like you like we say, like they you enroll them and you're having gotten that output or that outcome for your life.
• 36:27
  Samantha Pruitts: So love it.
• 36:28
  Polly Mertens: Exactly.
• 36:29
  Polly Mertens: Yeah, exactly.
• 36:30
  Polly Mertens: This one you kind of touched on, I'll bring it up again is visualizing it.
• 36:34
  Polly Mertens: So how will it feel?
• 36:35
  Polly Mertens: How will it look?
• 36:36
  Polly Mertens: How will it taste?
• 36:37
  Polly Mertens: How will it smell?
• 36:37
  Polly Mertens: Visualizing it, right?
• 36:40
  Polly Mertens: So putting some depth to it, if you will, beyond the sentence or the statement or the words.
• 36:47
  Polly Mertens: Like then what does that look like?
• 36:49
  Polly Mertens: What does it feel like?
• 36:50
  Polly Mertens: How does it taste, smell, etc.?
• 36:53
  Polly Mertens: Like adding some sensory elements and using sensory aids.
• 36:57
  Polly Mertens: And you mentioned vision board and dream board, which you're a huge dream and vision board person.
• 37:02
  Polly Mertens: I mean, I don't know.
• 37:03
  Polly Mertens: How many do you have?
• 37:04
  Polly Mertens: Come on now, don't be shaking your head, girl.
• 37:06
  Polly Mertens: You hundreds, kind of like all the wall over here.
• 37:09
  Polly Mertens: You're like, who, me?
• 37:11
  Samantha Pruitts: I have them on my phone, I have them on my wall.
• 37:13
  Polly Mertens: So yeah, and so you can use photos, vision boards, you can do photographs, you can use music.
• 37:20
  Polly Mertens: I'm so into the music piece right now, and the amount of energy that comes with the music, and I don't know what's happened with me in music in the last year, but definitely since I've been in this year to live class, like I tapped into music being one of my ways through the process, and it is blowing my mind.
• 37:43
  Polly Mertens: So, whatever this looks like for you, right, it could be some other kind of creative way for you to add a sensory element to the dream.
• 37:52
  Polly Mertens: Okay, I think that's important.
• 37:55
  Samantha Pruitts: I what just wanted to add, and I I I don't know if you're gonna say this, but and so forgive me if I'm stealing your thunder, but you know, sometimes people think like, gotta have, you know, like wherever if they're coming from a I almost want to say like a dream desert, meaning you haven't had many dreams, you know, and it's like I gotta have an oasis or something, you know, like you're like now you have to have one.
• 38:14
  Samantha Pruitts: It's more so just like like my friend when we were talking this morning about the awe and wonder or the awe walks, right?
• 38:20
  Samantha Pruitts: It was like, he's like, Oh, I need to like, or not need to, but he's like, oh, he was noticing how much of his life was routine and like things looked the same, and he wasn't just having awe just around his house and stuff.
• 38:35
  Samantha Pruitts: So they're like, well, let's go, you know, to a town we haven't visited in a while, and you know, and I was like, Yeah, and just beginning to like claim wonder, like just being able to like open back up because we naturally are creative, you know, imaginative beings.
• 38:53
  Samantha Pruitts: We are baked in, we have a places in our brain that are just baked for imagination, and so it's just like allowing it, just in every day, you know.
• 39:02
  Samantha Pruitts: Like I'll go on a walk and just I'm just so in awe of like flowers, you know, just like look at you grow, you know, or I'm like, oh my god, you know, I remember one of my mentors was like, she'd walk in her garden, like, you're my favorite flower.
• 39:15
  Samantha Pruitts: You're my favorite flower.
• 39:16
  Samantha Pruitts: You know, it's like that's awesome.
• 39:19
  Samantha Pruitts: Okay, like, but having like bring that, like they said, these awe walks, it's like bringing your childlike self to what you're doing.
• 39:28
  Samantha Pruitts: You don't have to go jump on, you know, jump off mountains or do like huge adventures too.
• 39:34
  Samantha Pruitts: It's just a little bit.
• 39:34
  Polly Mertens: Or you can.
• 39:35
  Polly Mertens: I mean, you can without stopping you.
• 39:37
  Samantha Pruitts: Yes, yes.
• 39:38
  Samantha Pruitts: And in the everyday, like you and I are like about bringing awesome into everyday.
• 39:44
  Samantha Pruitts: It's like finding your awesome, right?
• 39:46
  Samantha Pruitts: So it's like finding your awe, finding wonder in just like, you know, one of my favorite questions is like, I wonder what's trying to happen here.
• 39:54
  Samantha Pruitts: You know, like that just like puts my mind in a whole different space than like I know, I know, or it's linear, or this is the way that I've the path is going.
• 40:02
  Samantha Pruitts: It's like, well, I wonder what's trying to happen here.
• 40:05
  Polly Mertens: So exactly, exactly.
• 40:07
  Polly Mertens: You can also do that through acting, asking random questions of people, whether it's people in your space on the regular or new people, which you know, I do all of that, like, you know, and I will ask the weirdest freaking questions, and I don't know why, but sometimes I'll be like, I don't have a curiosity about so-and-so in this thing.
• 40:25
  Polly Mertens: I'm just gonna freaking ask.
• 40:26
  Polly Mertens: And then it sparks this whole a other way of me knowing them and relating to them, which has deep value and connection, but also all of a sudden their brain is like off in this other place that is more relating them to what's possible for their life or inquiry around self or whatever it is, you know, relationship to the world and all that stuff.
• 40:50
  Polly Mertens: Again, breaking the mold of that everyday routine stuff that we do, whether it's online or at work or whatever the hell it is, you know what I mean?
• 40:58
  Polly Mertens: Um, I do think you have to reverse or sorry, rehearse and plan your dreams.
• 41:03
  Polly Mertens: So it's just to be clear, we're not saying, hey, law of attraction, just put this thing up on the poster board and they're all gonna go, whoa, here come.
• 41:10
  Polly Mertens: You know, we're not saying that.
• 41:12
  Polly Mertens: There needs to be a plan, and you do need to rehearse for this plan too.
• 41:16
  Polly Mertens: If you want to be successful doing a thing, you work towards it strategically with the support and resources that you need.
• 41:25
  Polly Mertens: And then the rehearsal part is like, maybe you practice little mini versions of this, right?
• 41:31
  Polly Mertens: Am I gonna all of a sudden go walloping up and down the 250-mile John Muir trail and be like, God damn, I hope this thing works itself out.
• 41:39
  Polly Mertens: I hope, sure, hope this goes well.
• 41:41
  Polly Mertens: Or am I like, well, I have this really big, audacious goal, and so I'm gonna spend six months really like researching and planning the logistics and training for it, and then I'm gonna do some practice shakeouts and all that.
• 41:53
  Polly Mertens: Of course I'm gonna do that.
• 41:55
  Polly Mertens: Yeah, right?
• 41:56
  Polly Mertens: That's me investing in my own success.
• 41:58
  Polly Mertens: So that is part of it.
• 41:59
  Samantha Pruitts: Yeah, I think that's the dream in action.
• 42:02
  Samantha Pruitts: Like, so like, how do I turn a dream into a reality?
• 42:06
  Samantha Pruitts: You know, that thought that I had.
• 42:07
  Samantha Pruitts: And I think what we're mostly talking about now, maybe this is a future podcast, you know, like what we're talking about now is like permission to dream, you know, and knowing that there might be times when you don't have the space, like we talked about not having the foundation in place.
• 42:20
  Samantha Pruitts: So, okay, get the foundation in place.
• 42:22
  Samantha Pruitts: And then, but it's just like you know, priming that pump again is really what I wanted people to get out of this is like priming that pump, you know.
• 42:28
  Samantha Pruitts: I got this coaching from my coach this last week, was like, I was so certain about, you know, it was like having to know and so certain.
• 42:34
  Samantha Pruitts: And it was like, where's possibility?
• 42:36
  Samantha Pruitts: You know, and I love that word.
• 42:38
  Samantha Pruitts: Like, if you really, really study possibility as a word and a potentiality and like what's possible, and you just like quiet the mind and the all that, that freaking word has so much magic behind it.
• 42:55
  Samantha Pruitts: I'm sure wonder has, you know, I haven't studied the word wonder, like I've studied the word possibility, and I mean it is infinite, it is infinite, and it's just allowing ourselves to tap into that infiniteness, right?
• 43:07
  Samantha Pruitts: Because that's I, you know, we came here as creators, right?
• 43:11
  Samantha Pruitts: So, like we're gifted with that talent.
• 43:13
  Samantha Pruitts: Yeah, yeah, exactly.
• 43:14
  Samantha Pruitts: We all are, we all are.
• 43:16
  Polly Mertens: So last thing before we wrap, and you mentioned it earlier, so I'm gonna close with it is surround yourself with dreamers.
• 43:25
  Polly Mertens: God, if you want to become or re-ignite your own dreamer self and once again have hope and dreams for your life, hang out with the dreamers because we rub off on each other.
• 43:39
  Polly Mertens: It's like, what a crazy thing you're doing now.
• 43:42
  Polly Mertens: What do you want?
• 43:43
  Polly Mertens: You know, it's just this constant sort of feeding frenzy with each other energetically around ideas and incubation of ideas and concepts and ideas and dreams that turn into reality and we get to bear witness.
• 43:56
  Polly Mertens: And so just being in this space with other dreamers, you will not be able not to dream because they won't allow it.
• 44:04
  Polly Mertens: It is not a thing.
• 44:07
  Samantha Pruitts: And I I want to add one maybe adjective is like either there there's there's maybe a difference between a dream weaver and a dream chaser, right?
• 44:14
  Samantha Pruitts: So, like you just can like sit around and some people can just dream, dream, dream, and they never do, right?
• 44:18
  Samantha Pruitts: Like they never.
• 44:19
  Samantha Pruitts: Pursue, or there's like a whole lot of dreams sitting on the shelf that they never picked up and did anything about.
• 44:24
  Samantha Pruitts: And I think there's the dream chasers, what you're referring to, is like the people who are like, that's gonna happen, you know.
• 44:30
  Samantha Pruitts: Like I'm I'm creating it, I'm moving towards it, I'm acting in a way that, you know, whatever, like you talked about, you know, get a plan and stuff.
• 44:38
  Samantha Pruitts: So be a dream chaser, be someone who like realizes their dreams over and over again.
• 44:43
  Samantha Pruitts: That's what I just wanted to add.
• 44:44
  Samantha Pruitts: But yes.
• 44:46
  Samantha Pruitts: Uh-huh.
• 44:47
  Samantha Pruitts: Uh-huh.
• 44:48
  Samantha Pruitts: And it might be new people, and it might be just you sharing your dreams.
• 44:51
  Samantha Pruitts: And people are like, oh yeah, let's, you know, because like sometimes you can spark somebody else, like, hey, I'm going to get up to this thing.
• 44:56
  Samantha Pruitts: Do you want to do it with me?
• 44:57
  Samantha Pruitts: You know, and it's like, oh yeah.
• 44:59
  Polly Mertens: So, well, you know, I work on REI as one of my projects, right?
• 45:04
  Polly Mertens: And do some really fun community stuff with them.
• 45:06
  Polly Mertens: And there's this team of people internally, and then there's outdoor community relationships and whatever.
• 45:11
  Polly Mertens: But on this internal team, for sure, like these 50-something people all know, like, I'm going to do this, John Muir Trail, as an example.
• 45:19
  Polly Mertens: And so every conversation now is like, well, I need to know more.
• 45:23
  Polly Mertens: You know, right.
• 45:24
  Polly Mertens: So they're watching me prep for this plan, talk about it.
• 45:29
  Polly Mertens: They're so excited for me.
• 45:30
  Polly Mertens: They want to come along on the journey.
• 45:32
  Polly Mertens: Literally, they're like, document the whole thing, and you have to post, and I have to know where you're going, and whatever, you know, the things, right?
• 45:37
  Polly Mertens: Because they want to be on the journey too.
• 45:39
  Polly Mertens: Because inside of them, yeah, it's not about me.
• 45:43
  Polly Mertens: Inside of them, they're seeing, or inside of my story, they're seeing a piece of themselves and they're seeing themselves in the possibility of my journey.
• 45:52
  Polly Mertens: Like, I wonder if I could do it.
• 45:54
  Polly Mertens: Oh, I'd love to do something like that.
• 45:56
  Polly Mertens: Hmm, what about me?
• 45:59
  Polly Mertens: Right.
• 46:00
  Polly Mertens: So it's that little bit of pixie dust that we do distribute when we are pursuing our own dreams around others to ignite their own possibility.
• 46:08
  Polly Mertens: It's really lovely.
• 46:10
  Samantha Pruitts: Yeah.
• 46:10
  Samantha Pruitts: And I think, like you said, it's like allowing other people's thing.
• 46:14
  Samantha Pruitts: Like, you know, it's funny when you talked about you were watching a video about racing and you were all of a sudden looking for more races, you know, and it's like seeing people up to their dreams.
• 46:23
  Samantha Pruitts: So if one of your things could be like you've been in a dream desert for a while, like go be around people who are up to something, whether it's artistry or seeing somebody on stage and they're performing, and that was a lifelong dream, or you with your running or small things.
• 46:39
  Samantha Pruitts: Like I have a garden, you know, and then like I go and hang out with other gardeners and stuff.
• 46:43
  Samantha Pruitts: You know, it's like you just other business owners, yeah.
• 46:46
  Polly Mertens: Like people, entrepreneurs, and we work with this population a lot, and they're totally siloed in their own little world, yeah, trying to figure it all out and make stuff happen.
• 46:55
  Polly Mertens: And it's like, okay, you do know you're not the first entrepreneur to like walk onto the planet, right?
• 47:00
  Polly Mertens: There's trillions of you probably, but there's definitely millions, and there's definitely thousands in your direct like radar.
• 47:08
  Polly Mertens: So, and all we need to do is find a few.
• 47:10
  Polly Mertens: So let's just get busy finding.
• 47:13
  Samantha Pruitts: That's true.
• 47:13
  Samantha Pruitts: That's so true.
• 47:14
  Samantha Pruitts: Yeah, and you get so ignited when you hear what people are doing in their business and how they're doing it, and and you just around people that are like want the best for you and you want the best for them, and you're just like, here we go.
• 47:24
  Samantha Pruitts: So it's awesome.
• 47:26
  Samantha Pruitts: Awesome.
• 47:26
  Samantha Pruitts: All right.
• 47:27
  Samantha Pruitts: Well, what's your one do you have a one thing takeaway from today?
• 47:31
  Polly Mertens: What was your like Well, I landed the plan on that, like surround yourself with dreamers because I think that's where for many people is going to be the easiest gateway entry back into becoming a dreamer themselves and being able to foster that way of being for themselves is to be surrounded by it.
• 47:52
  Samantha Pruitts: I guess my one thing, it's maybe one or two.
• 47:54
  Samantha Pruitts: So the one is just check and see if you have dreams and if you are pursuing them.
• 47:59
  Samantha Pruitts: And if you're not, like ask yourself, you know, like there's something in the way, and your natural, like I think our natural tendency as creative souls is to be dreaming and creating, dreaming and creating over and over again.
• 48:13
  Samantha Pruitts: So if you're not, I just want to like be like knock, knock, what's going on over there?
• 48:18
  Samantha Pruitts: Like be in some inquiry and see if you can shed whatever's in the way, whether it's a belief or maybe it's get past, you know, the hurdle of over overstretched, overtapped nervous system or something.
• 48:29
  Samantha Pruitts: And get back out with us, dreamers.
• 48:31
  Samantha Pruitts: Like come hang out with us, you know.
• 48:32
  Samantha Pruitts: Like we want you back, we want you out of that place.
• 48:35
  Samantha Pruitts: So that's what I gotta say.
• 48:37
  Polly Mertens: Be in incubation.
• 48:39
  Samantha Pruitts: Yeah, nice.
• 48:40
  Polly Mertens: Put yourself in the incubator, be in incubation.
• 48:44
  Samantha Pruitts: Love it.
• 48:44
  Samantha Pruitts: All right, what's our what's what do you want to wrap with?
• 48:46
  Samantha Pruitts: Tell them what we always tell them, please.
• 48:49
  Polly Mertens: How your crazy, messy, sometimes painful, often very hilarious life feels is more important than how it looks.
• 48:59
  Samantha Pruitts: And every day is your opportunity to find your awesome.
• 49:02
  Samantha Pruitts: Love you guys.
• 49:03
  Polly Mertens: See you next week.