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Episode 91: College Adventures: Bravery, Triumphs, and Wakeup Calls · Voices for Voices®

• 0:00
  Justin Alan Hayes: Chapter 6.
• 0:01
  Justin Alan Hayes: College Continued Between semesters and during the summer I worked at a local golf course as part of their course maintenance team.
• 0:12
  Justin Alan Hayes: Throughout my time there, I had much needed structure in terms of working hours.
• 0:18
  Justin Alan Hayes: For the most part, my hours were 6.30 am to 2.30 pm on weekdays, with an additional partial workday on the weekends.
• 0:28
  Justin Alan Hayes: Working at the golf course with a bunch of guys brought with it a lot of pranks like throwing new workers into the lakes on the property and even putting a dead fish in our manager's truck to bake in the sun.
• 0:41
  Justin Alan Hayes: This banter and behavior were a short respite from the long, hot and sweaty summer days of mowing greens, tree and flower planting and raking bunkers.
• 0:54
  Justin Alan Hayes: However, my negative behavior outside of summer work continued down the path of no return, with some nights, including trips to the bar and showing up at work the following day hungover, I did not think twice about what I was doing to myself.
• 1:10
  Justin Alan Hayes: I wanted to be cool and fit in, and so I continued.
• 1:15
  Justin Alan Hayes: Sometimes, when all of us had the weekend off, we would venture out to Windsor, canada, to drink and party, picking up as many girls as we could.
• 1:24
  Justin Alan Hayes: Canada made this all the easier since we were still underage in the states and their laws were different.
• 1:32
  Justin Alan Hayes: After a long night out in Canada, we all returned home sleep deprived and hungover.
• 1:38
  Justin Alan Hayes: When we arrived home I turned back around to drive two hours to meet up with a girl I wanted to see.
• 1:45
  Justin Alan Hayes: Not thinking clearly, I drove to her place and thankfully arrived without incident.
• 1:51
  Justin Alan Hayes: During the drive home, however, I was struggling to stay awake, finding myself dozing off while driving.
• 1:59
  Justin Alan Hayes: At one point I was in the right lane of the highway and fell asleep for one second too long.
• 2:05
  Justin Alan Hayes: My car sped off the highway and hit the guardrail, continuing on to slam into a cement barricade, totaling my car Again.
• 2:15
  Justin Alan Hayes: You would think this was the much needed event, a sign to knock some sense into me.
• 2:21
  Justin Alan Hayes: But no such luck here.
• 2:24
  Justin Alan Hayes: When school was back in session, I was picking up a study and strategy.
• 2:28
  Justin Alan Hayes: I found that I was taking the lead more on class projects and even becoming annoyed when other students in a group project did not carry their own weight.
• 2:38
  Justin Alan Hayes: I was transforming into a real student here.
• 2:41
  Justin Alan Hayes: I opened up communication with professors when I knew my grade would suffer on a group project.
• 2:48
  Justin Alan Hayes: I did not want others to earn a good grade when they barely contributed or were missing from study sessions altogether.
• 2:56
  Justin Alan Hayes: I was also picking up that I was not able to just sit and study or do homework for hours on end.
• 3:04
  Justin Alan Hayes: I was operating at peak levels when I would alternate between 30 to 60 minutes of study and then 30 to 60 minutes of break time.
• 3:14
  Justin Alan Hayes: This was part of my mental makeup that I think helped propel me and helped me remember the information I was taking in.
• 3:22
  Justin Alan Hayes: I was able to focus more and complete assignments outside of the classroom, and this was definitely a positive.
• 3:31
  Justin Alan Hayes: A particular experience is standing out to me as I write this.
• 3:34
  Justin Alan Hayes: I was taking a consumer behavior summer class.
• 3:38
  Justin Alan Hayes: During this high performance window, there was an upcoming exam that I completely prepared for and felt confident about.
• 3:47
  Justin Alan Hayes: I went to class on exam day as confident as a student could feel.
• 3:51
  Justin Alan Hayes: Before the exam papers were passed out, the professor asked if there were any questions.
• 3:58
  Justin Alan Hayes: One student raised their hand and asked if the class could take an oral exam where random students would be caught upon and quizzed.
• 4:07
  Justin Alan Hayes: Individual points could be tallied into a pool for the class grade and incorrect answers would take points away from the pool.
• 4:15
  Justin Alan Hayes: This idea was put up for a blind vote.
• 4:18
  Justin Alan Hayes: Either keep the individually graded paper exam or switch to a class-wide oral exam.
• 4:25
  Justin Alan Hayes: I wanted to continue as scheduled, especially because I studied for this.
• 4:30
  Justin Alan Hayes: We were instructed to stay in the classroom if we had voted for an oral exam and to move next door if we wanted a paper version of the exam.
• 4:39
  Justin Alan Hayes: I turned out to be the only one who voted for a paper exam, because I did not want the other students to ride my coattails in an oral exam, since I was prepared.
• 4:51
  Justin Alan Hayes: Alternatively, I did not want to earn the same grade as the other students had they not answered the questions correctly.
• 5:00
  Justin Alan Hayes: Slowly but surely, one student followed, and then another A handful of students trickled over into the other room with me, ready to take the paper exam for an individual grade.
• 5:13
  Justin Alan Hayes: Perhaps they knew that the class overall would not be able to ace the test without me being there to carry them.
• 5:20
  Justin Alan Hayes: Eventually, though, we were told to return to the rest of the group, because it was determined we were all taking the written exam after all.
• 5:29
  Justin Alan Hayes: This was the first time that I remember where I took control of a situation, believed in myself and led by example for a positive outcome, and it felt so, so good.
• 5:43
  Justin Alan Hayes: Meanwhile, my toxic behavior and partying continued after class and through the weekend between shifts on the golf course.
• 5:50
  Justin Alan Hayes: In fact, I took this behavior on a study abroad trip to Italy, beginning with abundant alcohol.
• 5:58
  Justin Alan Hayes: The entire duration of the plane ride to Italy, myself and a small group of other students were drinking so much that we finished off a whole in-flight galley kitchen supply and started helping ourselves to what we could find in the plane, much to the flight attendants' dismay.
• 6:16
  Justin Alan Hayes: I thought it was a great time.
• 6:18
  Justin Alan Hayes: We were making memories together, and this was the one time ever where we could consume as much alcohol as we wanted without paying for it.
• 6:29
  Justin Alan Hayes: Back at home, my habit of drinking bled over into driving myself to the next party or to the next bar to pick up girls.
• 6:36
  Justin Alan Hayes: This headspace clouded my judgment immensely, forcing me to completely ignore common sense.
• 6:43
  Justin Alan Hayes: This ultimately led to narrowly escaping a driving under the influence DUI after leaving a nightclub one night.
• 6:52
  Justin Alan Hayes: It was during this low point in my personal life when a normal Saturday night routine included drinking, driving to a bar, drinking even more and then trying to drive home.
• 7:05
  Justin Alan Hayes: I was pulled over once for not having my headlights on, even though I had just pulled out of the parking lot and flipped them on in the middle of my left hand turn, just as the highway patrolman was driving by, when I saw those flashing lights in my rearview mirror, I knew this was it.
• 7:24
  Justin Alan Hayes: I was caught.
• 7:26
  Justin Alan Hayes: After I admitted to having a couple of drinks, I was asked to step out of the car and participate in a few sobriety tests, which I failed horribly.
• 7:36
  Justin Alan Hayes: The officer asked if I had been arrested before and I said no, as they guided me to turn around and place my hands on the hood of the car.
• 7:46
  Justin Alan Hayes: As he searched me for weapons, he informed me that I was being arrested for driving under the influence and he handcuffed me.
• 7:54
  Justin Alan Hayes: This was a sobering wake-up call for me, but only related to the act of drinking and driving.
• 8:01
  Justin Alan Hayes: My desire to drink, party and pick up girls would continue.
• 8:05
  Justin Alan Hayes: I even drank before my final presentation as a senior in my retail marketing class, during which I would present to a group consisting of a local small business owner, class, professor, department dean and city business officials.
• 8:23
  Justin Alan Hayes: Luckily, I gave the best presentation of my life that day and really saved myself a ton of trouble.
• 8:29
  Justin Alan Hayes: I was the team leader of 30 students for this presentation and we earned an A for the course.
• 8:35
  Justin Alan Hayes: This behavior, even after the DUI, reinforced the message for me that I could subconsciously perform well, even presenting in front of large groups.
• 8:48
  Justin Alan Hayes: Immediately after consuming alcohol, this was the point I realized that being the center of attention helped me to thrive.
• 8:56
  Justin Alan Hayes: The drinking, at least, was a cover for my introvertedness and anxiety, which at the time, I did not want to believe was true.
• 9:04
  Justin Alan Hayes: I felt that the alcohol was making me feel good and took away the pressure, whether it was presenting, being friendly with others and even striking up a conversation with a girl I did not know.
• 9:17
  Justin Alan Hayes: It also allowed me to fit in easily with classmates.
• 9:21
  Justin Alan Hayes: It made me a master at telling jokes and getting a laugh.
• 9:25
  Justin Alan Hayes: Not everything about college was fun and games for me.
• 9:30
  Justin Alan Hayes: Another roommate situation arose during my time at Youngstown that I now regard as a very traumatic experience.
• 9:37
  Justin Alan Hayes: One of my roommates owned a handgun, despite campus roles being a no carry zone.
• 9:43
  Justin Alan Hayes: Up until then, I had never seen a firearm in person, so this was a complete shock on so many levels.
• 9:51
  Justin Alan Hayes: He would pull it out and point it at things in our apartment like he was going to shoot.
• 9:56
  Justin Alan Hayes: This freaked me out because I was not really a gun person and knew he was breaking some strict campus and dorm policies.
• 10:03
  Justin Alan Hayes: Plus, I never knew if it was loaded or not, so the danger level was immense.
• 10:11
  Justin Alan Hayes: Incidents like this happened a lot, so I eventually contacted management and told them about my situation.
• 10:17
  Justin Alan Hayes: To my dismay they did nothing.
• 10:20
  Justin Alan Hayes: So by the time I passed my roommate in the hallway later that day, he had already found out that I had reported him.
• 10:27
  Justin Alan Hayes: He told me that we would talk about this later, when he was finished with his classes that day, which I took as a threat, especially knowing that he had been involved in physical altercations with other students.
• 10:42
  Justin Alan Hayes: He had problems within the past Football playing brother and some teammates in tow.
• 10:47
  Justin Alan Hayes: Paired that with knowing about his gun and I went to the University Police immediately in fear for my life.
• 10:55
  Justin Alan Hayes: Starting then, I had a police escort to and from my classes and for any other movements on campus.
• 11:03
  Justin Alan Hayes: I moved out of the shared apartment and into an undisclosed hotel for a time while the University held a hearing and concluded that his threat was real and swiftly kicked him out of his apartment and out of all on-campus activities outside of attending classes.
• 11:22
  Justin Alan Hayes: After he was removed from campus, the University randomly placed me in apartments around campus until graduation, sometimes with weekly moves.
• 11:31
  Justin Alan Hayes: The whole ordeal was traumatic and the added stress of packing up and moving just added fuel to the fire.
• 11:38
  Justin Alan Hayes: My anxiety flourished and my stress skyrocketed, and living in a constant state of anxiety was normal.
• 11:46
  Justin Alan Hayes: Add into that paranoia, because I was always looking over my shoulder in constant fear that he would return and find me.
• 11:55
  Justin Alan Hayes: Despite all of this, and even with blowing my entire freshman year with no effort in class, I was still able to earn a 3.34 grade point average GPA, which was something I did not even achieve in high school.
• 12:11
  Justin Alan Hayes: This, after shifting my major from accounting to criminal justice and finally selecting marketing, was a huge accomplishment for me.
• 12:19
  Justin Alan Hayes: For a period of time, I was so stuck on criminal justice that I had the ambition of following through and advancing onto law school.
• 12:28
  Justin Alan Hayes: I quickly learned through poor results on the standardized entrance exam, the law school and mission test, lsat, that this was not something in the cards for me At the time.
• 12:42
  Justin Alan Hayes: I was devastated, but I was resilient in moving on to something I was better suited for and was proud of myself for not giving up on my dream to finish college.
• 12:53
  Justin Alan Hayes: At the time of graduation I did not have internship experience or really any outside experience in marketing to support my degree.
• 13:02
  Justin Alan Hayes: I think this made my job search that much more challenging.
• 13:07
  Justin Alan Hayes: I was so focused on partying that I did not even think about exploring real world experience to set myself up for success in the future outside of the college life bubble Do the added anxiety and stress here as I attempted to begin my professional life?