Latest / Cumberland Trace Church of Christ (Formerly Lehman Ave Church of Christ) / Parenting Seminar 2026 - "Biblical Dynamics of Family: Boundaries and Behavior" by Glenn Hitchcock

Transcript

Parenting Seminar 2026 - "Biblical Dynamics of Family: Boundaries and Behavior" by Glenn Hitchcock · Cumberland Trace Church of Christ (Formerly Lehman Ave Church of Christ)

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  There are 4 things that can rob us of our joy.
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  And looking at it from the standpoint of one
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  of my familiar books that I love to use is the book of Philippians.
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  In chapter 1, circumstances can rob us of our joy.
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  Paul says you overcome circumstances by having a single focus
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  or singleness of mind. Paul says, for me to live is Christ,
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  for me to die is gain.
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  Families encountering circumstances that can
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  potentially rob them of their joy,
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  because Christian families have that submissive attitude,
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  we can lock in, in that submission on Christ.
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  Because for me to live is Christ, and for
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  me to die is gain. I don't let circumstances rob
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  me of my joy when I know I signed a declaration
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  of dependence and I'm operating within the boundaries of
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  God's word.
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  People can rob us
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  of our joy. What's the problem? People. Some of
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  the people that can rob us of our joy are some of our closest
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  family members. Yes or yes?
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  And when we understand that
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  you overcome people by having a
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  submissive mind— Jesus
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  had this submissive mind.
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  Did no sin, thought it not robbery
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  to be equal with God, made of himself no
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  reputation. He had a
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  valued relationship with God, and he served. He took upon himself
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  the form of a servant.
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  We overcome people by having a submissive mind.
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  We submit to
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  the scriptures, having the mind of Christ,
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  not allowing people to rob us of
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  our joy, whether they're talking about us or our children. You know, when you talk
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  about my daughter, now you— yeah, no.
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  When I have a submissive mind, I put in perspective what
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  I'm to do regarding that which is spiritual
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  rather than that which is natural. Because my natural inclination— you talk about my daughters—
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  is to blame you to that wall back there.
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  But I won't do that because I'm a child
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  of God, because I'm an example to my daughter. I wouldn't want
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  her to do the same thing because I'm
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  Discipline my daughter in the scriptures.
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  Materialism can rob us of our joy.
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  Money, greed can rob us of our joy.
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  I know this is not— I'm just trying to set you up for this.
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  So you overcome materialism Philippians chapter 3,
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  by having a spiritual mind.
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  Those things I count as rubbish.
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  Why? That I might win Christ.
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  That, that you count as important,
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  the Holy Spirit says it's rubbish. If it's materialism
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  and it's going to rob you of your joy, you don't need it.
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  It's not saying that money isn't important to some,
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  but you don't let it take away your joy.
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  You don't use money on children
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  that you treat as trophy
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  case children. Trophy case children
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  needs a lot of materialism thrown at them.
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  And you may say, well, Brother Glenn, I mean, it's not wrong for me to
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  get— no, it's not, it's not.
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  But, you know, as an elder and working with people,
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  sometimes I come in members' homes and we talk about their
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  problems they have giving. And one
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  of their main priorities is making sure they're giving their kids everything that they want.
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  I'm sitting there like, really?
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  So we have to adjust. But you overcome materialism
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  and money by having a spiritual mind. Finally,
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  in chapter 4, you overcome worry.
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  Worry robs people of their joy. I don't know if
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  y'all know that. I'm gonna let you in on a secret. It's not so
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  much a secret. Worry can rob people of their joy.
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  Worry about if my kids are going to grow up and be right. Worry about
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  if they're going to go to heaven. Worry about if my husband is going to
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  be faithful. Worry about where the kids are. Worry about what
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  the wife is doing. Worry about money.
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  Just worry about worry.
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  Worry is an inside job. Worry is like
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  a rocking chair, a lot of motion, but it doesn't take you anywhere.
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  You overcome worry by having a secure mind. Philippians 4:6.
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  He gives us a list of things to think on.
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  If it's honest, if it's good, a good report, if it's just,
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  all these, he says, Think on these things.
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  They're positive, they're not negative.
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  And you can overcome the menace of worry about
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  your family. You can overcome the
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  menace of materialism. You can overcome the
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  menace of people,
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  the menace of circumstances. That all
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  rob us of our joy. When we
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  really learn with submission within
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  the parameters of God's Word, they give us
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  boundaries to operate in, that our
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  children can clearly see the demarcations between
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  God's boundaries and discern
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  the difference between the boundaries of this world.
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  Because within this world, 1 John 2:15-17,
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  love not the world, these things are in the world. For it's
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  all in the world. The lust of the eye, attractions.
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  Lust of the flesh, the addictions. The pride
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  of life, ambitions.
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  They constitute Those
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  signs that can blur our discernment
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  about God's parameters and
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  lead into all kinds of ungodly behaviors for us and
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  for our children. And so I
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  implore you to stay in the book.
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  Like I tell my fundamentals class, we have a motto in my fundamentals class If
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  it's not in the book, it probably came from
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  a crook. John 10:10.
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  But we want to stay within the parameters of the book when
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  it comes to family. Isn't that right? And so I want to talk
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  about that boundary. What are boundaries?
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  A boundary is a fine, definite place where you,
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  your responsibility ends and another person's begins. It stops
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  you from doing things for others that they should do
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  for themselves. A boundary
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  also prevents you from rescuing someone from the consequences
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  of their destructive behavior that they need to experience in order
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  to grow. Man, as a parent, I need
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  to know that. I told you,
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  don't touch the hot stove, baby,
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  it'll burn! And I turn around,
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  and I'm in the kitchen, and I hear,
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  ouch! And I look around, what happened?
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  Ooh! You touched the stove,
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  didn't you? Yeah,
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  yeah, he did. So boundaries are important.
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  Boundaries can correct our behavior if we respect them.
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  When we don't respect them, we're going to go crazy.
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  Many of our kids are crazy because we let them disrespect boundaries.
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  I'm just going to tell you up front.
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  I was almost— well, I better not say that.
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  I was confronted Parents
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  says, my kid deserves this, my kid
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  deserves that, bottle flats, they need this, they need that.
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  You know what I'm saying? Okay, if we do this,
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  tell me, what have you done in
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  response to what you want us to do?
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  I'm working. I'm trying to put
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  food on the table. I need you to take care of my kids.
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  Like it's my primary responsibility because I'm one of the elders in the congregation.
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  Like, I guess you need to just move on in with me.
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  Well, I'll,
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  I'll I have to come up with a plan.
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  They always have to come up with a strategy of intervention
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  that will work for the parent and work for the child also. You don't
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  just brush them off or just, you know, ignore them. You have to work with
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  folks. Brethren, what I've learned,
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  not so much as a preacher but as an elder,
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  all of us are in the process of maturation,
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  and we're all at different stages.
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  Never disrespect someone's maturity,
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  or what you may think of as immaturity, when they're trying
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  to respect the boundaries.
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  What do I mean by that?
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  God set boundaries or parameters for us to operate within,
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  to comply with the scriptures. Then the Lord God took
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  the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to tend and keep
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  it. And the Lord God commanded the man, saying,
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  of every tree of the garden you may freely eat,
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  but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not
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  eat, for in the day that you eat of it,
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  you shall surely die.
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  Did God set parameters in the Garden of Eden?
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  Did God place the family in the
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  garden to respect the parameters? Did God
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  tell them to respect the parameters?
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  Within the boundaries of these parameters,
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  we have a gift called the
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  word of God. It is a very
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  familiar gift to the children of God,
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  and it's about submission.
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  We have boundaries, family gatherings where we explain
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  God's parameters and God's boundaries.
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  We communicate it clearly to one another,
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  and if we haven't been doing that, we need to start doing that.
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  The initiators of love in the family,
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  being responsible as they are, out of their love for
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  God and Christ, in the spirit of Christ,
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  should be able to articulate clearly to his family
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  what God's parameters are
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  out of the guidebook, so much
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  so that the children not only can see him demonstrating it in his life
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  as he discipled them with
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  this guidebook in their lives.
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  And the goal for all of the Christian families is
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  to respect God's boundaries.
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  When children are respecting God's boundaries,
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  oh, they may act up some out of immaturity,
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  but what helps them to turn back in the way of compliance
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  is a loving gesture of Reminding
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  them of the guidebook, of the communication
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  from the initiator of love, or from the parents as a
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  or demonstrating by showing
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  them how this task
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  or this particular goal is to be accomplished.
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  To function within the parameters of truth,
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  as I mentioned earlier in another presentation,
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  we have to be honest with our children.
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  We can't coerce, lie, and threaten them into
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  doing what, what we know they need to do.
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  The formulation of their persona or character, their morality
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  and spirituality,
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  their patience development, all takes place as
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  a result of compliance,
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  adherence to the parameters of God's word.
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  They're molded and shaped by God's
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  word By God's parents, by the parents'
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  love of God and their willing sacrifice
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  and service to the family,
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  by doing those things that would glorify God.
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  I was just talking to someone a moment ago. You know, my daughter was telling
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  someone, you know, my dad, he,
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  you know, he's like, he's always studying the Bible.
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  Like, that's not a negative, that's, that's a positive.
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  Kids will say, well, why would— why did you do that? And it opens her
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  up for conversation. She can tell them her story. See,
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  because we can't tell his story until we tell our
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  story. And so she tells her story to them about how she
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  became a Christian, and she talks about the parameters
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  and, and complying to God's will because Someone
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  loved her enough to tell her about his story.
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  Well, let's look at the family guidebook, the Bible.
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  Christian family boundaries are rooted in scripture,
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  molded by Jesus, and essential for a healthy,
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  loving, and spiritually vibrant family life. They are a
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  sign of love, not division,
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  and they honor God by protecting his peoples well-being.
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  Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom, teaching and admonishing
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  one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in
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  your hearts to the Lord. And whatever you do in word or deed,
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  do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God
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  the Father through him.
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  The book, the Bible,
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  the family altar, at home has
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  the Word of God to guide us.
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  If there's any question about some action, moral,
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  spiritual, or otherwise,
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  the guidebook has something to say about it.
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  If you don't know where it is, consult someone
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  who just might be able to help you. Titus gives us
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  that information. About the older women and the younger
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  women, the older men and the younger men, and elders
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  and leaders in the Lord's church working together.
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  A little bit about family gatherings, clear roles and communications.
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  As I said, families should not try to guilt or cajole their
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  children into proper behavior. Instead, we should tell them the truth
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  Children need the truth. Children need absolutes.
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  Children need certainty and clarity. And God provides
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  all of these for his children. Amen, amen,
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  amen.
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  Now, being a compliant member
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  of God's family, our methodology for
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  imparting that to our children takes different routes and
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  different pathways. I understand that no
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  one child is like the other, and no
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  one parent is like the other.
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  While that's the case, the word of God takes that into consideration
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  also. That's part of the nurturing practice that we'll talk about
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  momentarily. God's method of communication
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  is to tell his children the truth. Give them freedom
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  to choose, and enjoin upon them to
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  accept the consequences of their
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  choices. To allow
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  them to accept the consequences
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  of their choices. Why is that so important?
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  That we let them accept accept the consequences of their
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  choices. That's how you learn. That's how
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  you learn. It promotes discernment also.
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  How will I know the difference between good and evil if I'm not
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  given an opportunity to choose and to, to figure it out for
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  myself? If you figure it out for them all the time,
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  when you're gone, what are they going to do?
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  They're gonna be like, well, I sure wish my dad was here. Boy,
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  where's my mom when I need her? She had it up and down on me.
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  Now I'm all by myself. I'm gonna blame God for that one.
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  Allow them time to
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  experience the consequences
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  of their choices. Any questions on
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  that? You're tempted though, aren't you?
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  Okay. Adam and Eve were allowed to make their
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  own choices, but God told them the truth. This is true of
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  all the Bible characters who received communication from God.
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  Consider the words of Jesus, he that is not with me is against
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  me, and he that gathereth not with me scattereth abroad. Matthew 12,
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  verse 30. In order for our children to have a relationship
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  with God, they must give God their hearts. Matthew 22:37-38.
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  How must we love the Lord? With all our what, what, what, and what?
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  All of our heart, mind,
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  soul, and strength.
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  The only way to give God your heart is
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  by choice.
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  Can we teach our children to choose to give God their heart
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  when we won't give God our— when we won't give our own hearts to God?
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  It's impossible to do, isn't it?
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  So it's a trust issue. They have to trust that I
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  gave my heart to God and see that I've given my heart to God to
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  help them to choose to do the same.
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  It is best to make choices when one is informed of
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  the truth. John 17, verse 17.
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  We've got to remain truthful and honest
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  with our kids. As parents, we must put God's word in our hearts,
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  then teach it diligently to our children. Deuteronomy 6:7-10,
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  one of the greatest texts on child training in the Bible.
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  As well as Ephesians 6:4.
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  To talk biblically to our children, we owe
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  our children the truth of God's word. Several truths are that
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  children should— all children should know. There is a
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  God. Teach that early.
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  Every moment I have with them, walking around outside,
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  in Baby, that's a flower. You know who made that flower? God made that
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  flower. There's an ant. God made the ant. I tell her about
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  my little pet ant named Sebastian.
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  Plays basketball. He's got a little
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  handkerchief in his back pocket. He wipes his left antenna when he sweats.
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  And my daughter's all intrigued by that. And I'm going like,
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  and he can dribble with both hands. And sometimes he can dribble
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  with his antenna. But guess what? God made Sebastian.
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  And she go, oh, I want to see, I want to see Sebastian.
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  And we move on a little further. God made the
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  dog also. And on and on.
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  Cradle roll, the D-I-B-L-E, that's the one for me.
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  God loves me.
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  We need to teach them that you will be judged. That the God who made
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  me also is the God who's watching me. He's looking over me,
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  not to judge or beat me up, but to
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  monitor my steps and to help me
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  to walk by faith and not always by sight.
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  You must obey the gospel to go to heaven. Our kids need
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  to know that.
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  You must be faithful to God. Sin hurts and makes life
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  hard. Some kids don't know that yet.
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  You may say, well, I'll teach them that when they're older. No, you better start
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  now. And for some, it may be too late. You can know
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  what is right and wrong.
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  All of my kids need to know that, and not just from
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  our Bible classes. They need to know it from being at home sitting on Mama's
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  knee and Daddy's lap.
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  The Bible school is an adjunct to the home.
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  The Bible school is not the primary disciple for your child?
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  The home is. It starts with the initiation of love by
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  the father. It's propagated by
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  the continuation of love by mom and dad.
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  They learn you can choose Jesus. Any other choice leads to hell.
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  I don't mind teaching that to my children. You may say, well, that's too negative.
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  You put it the way you want to, but it's still true.
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  They need to know about hell. You know, a lot of preachers
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  don't preach on hell. I know that's not a problem here, but a lot of
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  preachers don't preach on hell anymore. You know why?
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  It's too scary.
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  Some people don't even believe in hell, and some people think you can
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  be saved in your sins rather than from your sins.
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  Bible doesn't teach that. Well, I'm getting off the subject. Let me move on.
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  No human is exempt from God's rule or word. We're all
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  amenable to the word of God. These are just so many things we need to
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  teach our children, and we need to do this at home
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  as well as in Bible class.
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  Our family goal is to respect God's boundaries. God did
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  not always say yes to his children's requests.
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  Parents must not confuse loving their children with giving
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  into every request. I thought you'd say
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  yeah on that one. God told Moses no concerning
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  entering the Promised Land. David was told
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  no when it came to building the temple. Paul was told no
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  concerning the removal of his thorn in the flesh. Why should it be any
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  different with our kids? Parents who refuse
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  to chasten, restrict, limit, and even punish their children when necessary
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  are not parenting like God. It is a loving act to
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  say no to children sometimes. Let me say that again.
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  That may ring hollow in somebody's ear. It is a loving act
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  to say no to children sometimes.
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  Thank you. Children can't expect—
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  can be expected to know what is good for them, so God can—
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  God gave them parents to teach them. They don't always know
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  what's right. Someone has to be there to show them
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  how to discern between good and evil.
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  It was said of Jesus that he enabled them to discern between the bitter from
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  the sweet. Isaiah 7:15.
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  Eli did restrain his sons, and David had similar
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  issues with his. According to Moses, the law was given
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  for Israel's good. God often lovingly said no to his children.
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  Functioning within the parameters of truth,
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  talking is best when it is accompanied by honest
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  action. And sometimes that honest action
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  means correcting behavior that
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  needs to be corrected because you refuse to respect
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  God's boundaries or God's parameters,
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  and you're acting out. And as you act out because
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  you're refusing to respect God's parameters, I'm going to have to show
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  you through communication what those
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  parameters are, remind you what they are.
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  And if you persist to continue to disrespect God's parameters,
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  what do you think is left for me to do?
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  Now I know you can say, well, you know, how often should I forgive my
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  brother? 99? I'm not going to keep reminding them 99 times before I take action.
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  I'm going to take some action. Now, I won't abuse them. I don't
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  think abusing kids, especially if you're upset— don't, don't,
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  don't touch your children when you're mad and upset at
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  them. Just don't, don't do that.
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  Never abuse your kids.
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  But the correction course to God's parameters would
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  put them back on an even keel, even if they don't like it.
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  Eventually they will learn to respect it
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  because you are showing consistency in your parenting by
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  doing that, and they don't see you deviating from it.
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  Therefore, your consistency leads to
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  their compliance— eventual compliance, I should say. Because they don't
• 29:16
  all unwrap at the same time, or when you expect them to. They don't.
• 29:20
  They really don't. And it's okay. You may say, yeah, it's okay for you,
• 29:24
  but you don't live in my house. I may not live in your house,
• 29:28
  but God does. And if God says it's okay, be patient.
• 29:33
  Be patient with our children. Probably look for them.
• 29:37
  God's action towards his children matches his speech
• 29:41
  to his children. Parents must not climb the mountain of self-righteousness
• 29:46
  and pretend they have no remembrance of sins in their lives.
• 29:51
  We were once children, teenagers, and young adults who sinned.
• 29:55
  Amen. Kids already know this
• 29:59
  to be true, so when parents feign perfection,
• 30:03
  it puts children off. They can smell a
• 30:10
  Don't feign perfection as though, you know, you don't
• 30:13
  know anything about sin in your life.
• 30:17
  Your kids know you. And all too often
• 30:21
  we do feign that perfection. You know, we take
• 30:25
  our trophy kids out on Sunday, parade them around, and everybody
• 30:29
  loves them and all that. And when no one's looking, you bring them home
• 30:33
  and stuff. You put them back in the trophy case and ignore them,
• 30:38
  throw a little materialism in there with them, and they
• 30:41
  take that because they don't respect God's parameters because you're not teaching
• 30:45
  them to them. They're left to themselves and they're called
• 30:49
  a lot of different names, you know, latchkey kids,
• 30:53
  uh, and baby kids and
• 30:56
  all that kind of stuff. They're gifts from God.
• 31:01
  Treat them like a gift, and they won't be caged up like an
• 31:05
  animal.
• 31:10
  By the way, I love you.
• 31:13
  To reach children with our words, we must
• 31:17
  live God's words. Amen.
• 31:24
  The behavior. You know,
• 31:27
  we're all wonderfully made. The Bible
• 31:31
  says, for the children ought not to lay up for the parents, but the
• 31:35
  parents for the children.
• 31:40
  For I know him, that he will command his children and
• 31:44
  his household after him, and they shall keep the way of
• 31:48
  the Lord forever. To do justice
• 31:52
  and judgment, that the Lord may bring upon Abraham
• 31:56
  that which he has spoken of him.
• 32:02
  Deuteronomy 6.
• 32:06
  And these words which I command you today shall be in
• 32:10
  your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children
• 32:14
  and shall talk of them when you sit in your house
• 32:19
  When you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up,
• 32:22
  you shall bind them as a sign on your hand,
• 32:26
  and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes.
• 32:30
  You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on
• 32:34
  your gates.
• 32:40
  The cycle daily of
• 32:45
  training, the consistency of training
• 32:50
  diligently,
• 32:57
  the character training,
• 33:00
  morals, values,
• 33:04
  and spiritual truths,
• 33:07
  not the latest ball club,
• 33:12
  sports and stuff. But spiritual truths is
• 33:18
  the consistent part of training that
• 33:22
  we need to impart in our children.
• 33:26
  So behavior and parenting, submission through
• 33:31
  family scriptural molding Discipline versus
• 33:36
  punishment. Primary disciple-making because
• 33:41
  of our relationship and not because of ownership.
• 33:44
  Look at scriptural molding. Scriptural molding involves reflecting
• 33:49
  the character, actions, and teachings found in scripture so that
• 33:53
  others see a living example of faithful discipleship.
• 33:57
  Hearts are transformed by following and imitating godly examples
• 34:01
  as Centered on the life of Jesus Christ our Lord.
• 34:06
  Imitate me just as I imitate Christ. Scriptural modeling.
• 34:11
  For to— for to this
• 34:15
  you were called, because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example that you
• 34:18
  should follow his steps. Scriptural modeling.
• 34:23
  Seek God. How do you do that? Remove the inhibition
• 34:27
  of fear or rejection. How do you do that? You transfer the
• 34:31
  desire for earthly approval from men to heavenly approval with
• 34:35
  God. A lot of parents are trying to just keep up with
• 34:40
  the proverbial Joneses. Forget the Joneses.
• 34:43
  Go with Jesus.
• 34:46
  Seek heavenly approval rather than earthly approval when it comes to parenting.
• 34:51
  The Apostle Paul put it like this, for I am now seeking—
• 34:54
  for am I now seeking the favor of men or of God?
• 34:58
  Or am I striving to please men? If I were still pleasing men,
• 35:02
  I should not be a servant of Christ.
• 35:05
  Can we hold an image in our hearts concerning this
• 35:08
  matter? Paul in 2 Corinthians 3:18, but we all,
• 35:13
  with unveiled face beholding as in a mirror the glory
• 35:16
  of the Lord, are transformed into the same image
• 35:20
  from glory to glory. Notice that word
• 35:24
  are transformed. We do not by act of the will
• 35:28
  transform ourselves. We can't do
• 35:32
  that. Well, how's it done? By having
• 35:35
  our thoughts consistently set on the image of Christ,
• 35:39
  holding him in our hearts day by day, we are transformed into the image.
• 35:44
  This is what is meant by imagination. You put
• 35:49
  the 2 words together You have imagination, which means you hold
• 35:53
  an image in your heart, the image of Christ, and little by little,
• 35:57
  without conscious thought or effort, you will find
• 36:02
  yourself being transformed unto the image of
• 36:06
  Christ. It's an act of faith,
• 36:11
  not an act of the will, an act of faith.
• 36:15
  Transform into the image of Christ. Trust him. You picture
• 36:20
  yourself as being like Christ, and sure enough, that will happen. It is
• 36:24
  a walk of faith, not of sight. What questions might you have on
• 36:27
  that?
• 36:29
  Oftentimes we think when we read the
• 36:33
  Bible and all that it's a this way, that way, that way.
• 36:37
  Here, when it comes to transformation,
• 36:41
  It is an adjustment of the mind and faith meeting
• 36:45
  together to say that with God all
• 36:48
  things are possible. As I render
• 36:53
  discipline and train my child, I'm doing
• 36:57
  it holding Christ in my heart because this
• 37:01
  is a precious gift from God
• 37:06
  that I cannot tarnish I cannot— I
• 37:12
  can't damage. I have to treat it
• 37:17
  as God would have me to treat it, as a steward of
• 37:20
  God, having the mind of Christ to do that
• 37:24
  very thing. Courage to transform. And I've got to tell you,
• 37:27
  some parents don't have the courage to do that.
• 37:31
  They just won't do it. They'd rather do something else Farm
• 37:35
  it out, give it to someone else to do.
• 37:41
  The Bible does not encourage the abuse of children,
• 37:45
  but it does demand that children receive proper degree of discipline.
• 37:49
  Eli is singled out as a parent who refused to provide discipline
• 37:53
  and was therefore responsible for the sinful behavior of his 2 sons.
• 37:57
  It is said of Eli that his sons made themselves vile
• 38:01
  and he restrained them not. 1 Samuel 3:13.
• 38:05
  Eli asked them, why do you do such things? But it is clear
• 38:09
  from the narrative that merely reprimanding those sons was not sufficient
• 38:14
  to curb their rebellious behavior. They wouldn't operate
• 38:17
  within the parameters of God's word. God said
• 38:21
  they should have been restrained.
• 38:24
  What does this imply? It implies that a physical action
• 38:29
  that would cause them to mend their ways was needed.
• 38:32
  The Hebrew word implies failure, weakness on the part of Eli,
• 38:36
  and is used in Isaiah 42:4, by the way, in describing Jesus.
• 38:41
  He would not fail or be discouraged. Eli failed,
• 38:44
  being weak and unwilling to restrain physically
• 38:48
  the sons who were vile. It happens
• 38:53
  every day in America and in the world.
• 38:56
  We don't have the courage to transform our hearts to restrain
• 39:00
  children who are not operating within the parameters of
• 39:04
  God's word because we haven't taught them the parameters of God's word,
• 39:07
  because we haven't initiated the action out of love
• 39:11
  and the Spirit of Christ to start early with our children.
• 39:15
  We skip that and we hope some, some way that
• 39:19
  we'll be lucky that they get by.
• 39:22
  That's not what the Bible teaches
• 39:26
  parents to do. That's not Christian parenting.
• 39:31
  And this is not to say that we have bad parents or anything like that.
• 39:34
  Sometimes we just don't know. Sometimes we
• 39:38
  have to have someone to pull us to the side and
• 39:42
  help us. When I said earlier,
• 39:45
  thank God for the family of God's people,
• 39:49
  I'm thankful for that because someone had to pull me inside.
• 39:52
  And I'm not a perfect parent by no means,
• 39:59
  but I signed a declaration of dependence on God. And whatever resources he
• 40:03
  equips me to have, I'm taking advantage of it because I want to be a
• 40:07
  good daddy for my daughter. And if God gives me life, I want to be
• 40:11
  a good granddaddy for my children, my grandchildren. As parents
• 40:15
  and as a nation of people, we fail our kids when we refuse to
• 40:19
  administer the discipline that can cause them to learn self-discipline
• 40:24
  and discernment. Rather than an act of abuse,
• 40:27
  proper discipline is a beautiful show of genuine love.
• 40:30
  Amen. Hebrews 12 reveals that one
• 40:34
  who is without chastisement is not honored. Whom the
• 40:38
  Lord loves, he chastises. Parents must realize that they
• 40:42
  do eternal harm to any child
• 40:45
  by refusing to administer discipline that is needed
• 40:49
  when it is needed, when they are not operating within
• 40:53
  the parameters of God's word. Child abuse?
• 40:56
  Of course not. But loving their kids enough
• 41:00
  to correct the behavior that can have eternal consequences is
• 41:04
  what discipline is all about.
• 41:08
  Parents therefore are the primary disciple makers,
• 41:12
  and I can't emphasize this enough. Now,
• 41:14
  nearly every congregation I go to, when I go through
• 41:18
  this, people come up to me and say, I didn't know that. Really? I said,
• 41:23
  it's in the book. And I'm not a crook. It's in the book. Read it.
• 41:29
  The generation now is a result of parents who did not see themselves as primary
• 41:33
  disciple makers. If they saw themselves as primary disciple
• 41:37
  makers, they thought they could contract it out to
• 41:41
  the church or Christian camps, DBS,
• 41:44
  PTP, or something like that, and thought that they never
• 41:48
  abandoned that role when in fact some did.
• 41:53
  Nothing wrong with PTP, nothing wrong with church camps, nothing wrong with
• 41:58
  DBS and things like this, but when you
• 42:02
  as a parent abandon your role to those
• 42:06
  support functions for your child, putting it
• 42:10
  on their shoulders and off of your shoulders,
• 42:15
  it's as though you've abused your own child.
• 42:19
  It's as though you said, I'm not responsible.
• 42:23
  And heaven forbid if something happens to them at that camp or in that
• 42:27
  particular, uh,
• 42:30
  event.
• 42:34
  And you want to blame someone because of
• 42:38
  the way your child turned out. As these parents came to the elders the other
• 42:42
  week and said, my kids are like this because
• 42:46
  y'all didn't do this, y'all didn't do that. In Virginia, we say y'all. I don't
• 42:49
  know about you guys, but in Virginia, we say y'all. Y'all didn't do that.
• 42:53
  And again, we're crafting an intervention to deal with
• 42:58
  that. But if there's
• 43:01
  any fault to be assigned to, it's not on the shoulders
• 43:05
  of the elders. It's on the shoulders of the primary disciple makers.
• 43:10
  You know who they are? Let me give you a hint. It starts
• 43:14
  with a P, and it's not the preacher. It's the parents.
• 43:18
  That's us.
• 43:27
  The church programs and youth ministers may
• 43:31
  be valuable supplements, but they're not replacements
• 43:35
  for parental discipleship.
• 43:41
  I love you.
• 43:47
  Parents got to teach this Teach the statutes, the judgments,
• 43:51
  and the commandments of the Lord. That is the primary content of
• 43:55
  moral and spiritual training. Note,
• 43:59
  parents cannot outsource their obligation of spiritual training and scriptural
• 44:03
  modeling. This can lead to putting disciple-making on
• 44:07
  cruise control and later being frustrated with the outcomes.
• 44:11
  When using outsourced resources, parents must remain engaged and
• 44:16
  responsible for their children's spiritual Spiritual formation.
• 44:20
  Family because of relationship,
• 44:24
  not ownership. Our children we
• 44:28
  have by relationship.
• 44:30
  God has the ownership.
• 44:35
  Whoo! I'm almost done. Let me
• 44:39
  give you 5 takeaways, because I may not see some of y'all after
• 44:43
  this. Let me give you these 5.
• 44:47
  Our purpose of existence is disciple
• 44:52
  makers as parents. I want my
• 44:56
  child to go to heaven because that's God's child.
• 45:00
  It's my child by virtue of stewardship and relationship,
• 45:05
  not by ownership. Number next,
• 45:10
  A pattern example demonstrated
• 45:15
  by the parent.
• 45:18
  The pattern behavior of parents will
• 45:23
  determine the design of the child.
• 45:26
  If the pattern is right, the design is going
• 45:30
  to be right. And I'm not talking about Proverbs 22:6.
• 45:34
  I know that's just a— that's a general saying. That's not always the case.
• 45:38
  Some kids You know, you train them, you do the best you can,
• 45:41
  and they are part of it. They just haven't returned to the bubble yet.
• 45:44
  But I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about you
• 45:49
  living your life for Christ before your children.
• 45:54
  You preaching good news to your children before God, to his
• 45:57
  glory, that when your children
• 46:02
  open their lips, they will speak as the oracles of God
• 46:06
  because of you. 1 Peter 4:11.
• 46:11
  Priority is expected. The priority from God
• 46:15
  is the same: put the kingdom first. Be devoted to
• 46:20
  God. When your children see that you're devoted to God,
• 46:24
  their priorities will be where they
• 46:28
  need to be. There are 2 kinds of priorities.
• 46:33
  And authorities. There's the BK priority
• 46:38
  and the KFC priority. You be the KFC
• 46:42
  priority. BK says, have it your way.
• 46:47
  KFC says, I'm a kingdom-first
• 46:51
  Christian. My priorities are where they need to be,
• 46:55
  and my children are going to follow me because I've got
• 46:59
  the kingdom first. When my daughter knows that
• 47:03
  I love the Lord more than her mama, but I love her
• 47:07
  mama. When my daughter knows I love her
• 47:11
  mama and the Lord, I love her.
• 47:15
  But she knows, she always knows,
• 47:20
  for Dad is God and Mama,
• 47:24
  for Mama is God and Dad.
• 47:28
  And then she'll say, and I'm in there too.
• 47:37
  Providentially, because we signed
• 47:40
  a declaration of dependence as parents, we're not alone
• 47:44
  in this boat. We have a support system.
• 47:48
  God continues to provide for our families.
• 47:51
  Don't be a Mrs. Job. God's providing
• 47:56
  for his family. She says God's not providing for
• 48:00
  our family. God— and Job says God's
• 48:04
  providing for our family. Trust in the providential care
• 48:08
  of God and depend upon him at every turn in
• 48:12
  your parenting position as a husband and as a wife
• 48:16
  for your children. And finally, You prepare
• 48:21
  them for eternity, for departure. Don't know when it's
• 48:25
  going to be, but it's coming.
• 48:29
  And I want them to leave this world
• 48:33
  and go into eternity to
• 48:38
  the original Father that gave them to me,
• 48:42
  to God. God gifted us with children.
• 48:48
  That we can return the favor back to God.
• 48:52
  Hell does need our kids.
• 48:55
  Heaven is designed for all of us. Let's see
• 48:59
  to it that we get there.
• 49:03
  So family, fathers and
• 49:07
  mothers in love, and God says,
• 49:12
  yes, You're operating within the parameters,
• 49:17
  within the boundaries. You have that great
• 49:21
  love for God,
• 49:24
  for each other, for our children,
• 49:28
  and we have this bubble of protection.
• 49:33
  We have the boundaries that we can operate within
• 49:37
  this parameters. We have God.
• 49:42
  We have the benefit and the byproducts.
• 49:46
  And I haven't talked about all that yet.
• 49:53
  I'll tell you what, Neil, I may turn that around for tomorrow's lesson.
• 49:56
  I don't know. Well, we'll talk about it and see.
• 50:00
  But I told you I had a lot of material,
• 50:03
  so a lot to talk about when it comes to faith. Family.
• 50:07
  But that's the end of our seminar
• 50:10
  for today, I believe. And before we
• 50:15
  end this, I'm going to ask Brother Hiram— is he there?
• 50:19
  Would you lead us in a closing prayer, please?
• 50:21
  God, our Father in
• 50:25
  heaven, thank you for the word that gives us
• 50:28
  guidance about our individual lives as Christians, but about our homes as a family.
• 50:32
  Thank you for Brother Glenn and Miss Mercedes and them being here with us at
• 50:36
  Cumberland Trace. Thank you for every visitor that's made the
• 50:39
  sacrifice and our members to be here to learn, to develop,
• 50:43
  to learn from your word and glean wisdom about how to get our families going
• 50:47
  in the right direction and how to submit to your ownership and use the
• 50:51
  delegated authority you've given us to be the people you want us to be.
• 50:55
  Help us to take this material and to live it out. Sharpen and
• 50:59
  bless our families and those in our homes that may not be
• 51:03
  in line with your will and your word right now. Pray for patience for them
• 51:06
  that they might be Redirect it, give us stamina and endurance
• 51:10
  as we seek to do what you would have us to do. In Jesus' name,
• 51:13
  amen. Amen. Thank you very much.
• 51:17
  All right, just want to make a few announcements before we
• 51:21
  close out. Again,
• 51:24
  thank you to Glenn and for the lessons he delivered to us this weekend.
• 51:28
  Thank you for making the priority to be here, and especially to some
• 51:32
  of you coming a great distance, but Even our members, thank you for being here,
• 51:36
  giving up a good part of your Saturday to be here. Hopefully we all learned
• 51:39
  something that can encourage us and bless us. As Glenn mentioned, he has some more
• 51:42
  material. He'll be doing our Bible class tomorrow morning and the sermon for Sunday
• 51:47
  morning. So if you can be here, we'd love to have you present with us.
• 51:50
  If you know somebody who would benefit from these lessons, we encourage you to be
• 51:54
  here. On your way out, there are the take-home lunches. And if
• 51:58
  you brought kids, don't forget your kids. All right. Other than
• 52:02
  that, thanks for being here. And we appreciate it.