Latest / Reflect Reclaim & Liberate - with Sallyanne Hartnell / Parenting After Betrayal - Supporting Your Healing And Your Kids’ Relationship With Their Other Parent

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Parenting After Betrayal - Supporting Your Healing And Your Kids’ Relationship With Their Other Parent · Reflect Reclaim & Liberate - with Sallyanne Hartnell

• 0:01
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to Reflect, Reclaim and Liberate, a podcast covering all things relationships, separation, and divorce.
• 0:09
  SPEAKER_00: How to create healthy, happy, fulfilling relationships without sacrificing any part of yourself.
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_00: Supporting anyone feeling challenged in their relationship or marriage.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_00: These are confidential conversations for you if you're navigating separation, divorce, or reorganising life afterwards.
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_00: Decide whether to stay or leave a relationship or marriage, divorce with less drama, and consciously choose what's next for you.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_00: I acknowledge the traditional owners of the land on which this podcast is recorded, the Warrentry people of the Kulin Nation, and pay my respects to their elders, past, present, and emerging.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_00: I acknowledge them as the original storytellers of this land.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to this week's episode of the podcast all about parenting after a betrayal.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_00: Supporting your own personal healing as well as your kid's relationship with their other parent after a betrayal.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_00: It's possibly one of the biggest, hardest challenges you might face during your separation, divorce, and life afterwards.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_00: One of the hardest dances to dance.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_00: Co-parenting, parenting, parallel parenting, while also supporting your kid's relationship with their other parent and managing your own pain, navigating your own heartbreak, dealing with all of your big emotions.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_00: When trust is broken, when there has been a betrayal, a significant betrayal, maybe through an affair, emotional or physical or financial betrayal, or even a series of lesser betrayals that have added up over time, death by a thousand cuts, it can feel like your entire world has been turned upside down.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_00: That everything you believed in, everything you trusted in is gone, that your entire foundation and the future you had mapped out for your life has been shaken and stripped away.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_00: You're grieving the life you thought you had, the relationship that you believed you were living.
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_00: You're questioning everything, including yourself.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_00: You're grieving also the life you thought you would live, the future life you thought you would have.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_00: And the fact that what you thought you had has been taken away, and that's something that you probably weren't prepared for or perhaps ready to let go of.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_00: And that grief often, usually, always, comes with deep feelings, complex emotions, big emotions, and waves of feeling to process.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_00: Anger, sadness, hurt, betrayal, grief.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_00: But it's also more than that.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_00: It's confusion.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_00: It's wondering what was real and what wasn't, replaying every conversation, every moment, trying to make sense of it all.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_00: What did you miss?
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_00: How could you not have seen this coming?
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_00: Well, you couldn't because the other person didn't want you to.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_00: But it's confusion, it's loneliness.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_00: And that's true even when you have people around you who are loving and caring and supportive, because no one truly knows or understands the depth of your pain and your grief.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_00: And really, the person you most want to confide in, to share with, to process this with is the person who's caused you such pain and is no longer available to you in that same capacity.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_00: Your partner, your confidant, your best friend has walked away, and that is intensely lonely and isolating.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_00: It's about distrust, and not just distrust in your ex-partner, but it can feel like distrust in everyone and everything.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_00: And sometimes, hardest of all, it's a lack of trust in yourself.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_00: You question your own judgment, you're unsure if you can trust anyone or anything again, including your own instincts, your own knowing what you thought you knew, what you thought was true and real.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_00: So it's not just that you've lost trust in your ex-partner, your self-belief and your capacity and ability to trust in yourself is completely shaken.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_00: It's also about fear.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_00: It's about fear of the future, it's about fear of what's coming, it's about fear of having to start over, it's about fear of allowing yourself to feel all the big feelings, or about getting hurt again.
• 4:35
  SPEAKER_00: It's about fear of what this means for you and for your children if you have them.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_00: And it can also be about guilt and questioning, wondering if you could have done something differently, wondering if you're doing enough for your kids, or if you've failed or are failing them in some way.
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_00: And it's about anger and rage, and these are completely valid and very, very raw and real as well as being necessary.
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_00: Allowing yourself to fully experience these emotions that we often view as negative, anger, rage, it can feel incredibly difficult, especially when you're straddling or navigating the complexities of co-parenting with the very person who is the root cause of these feelings.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_00: There's this constant tension between your need to honour your pain, your big feelings, the rage you feel, and the instinctual response to protect your children from that, from experiencing that, seeing that, or feeling it themselves.
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_00: It's a paradox, you know, feeling that full force of your anger, allowing your rage, but also knowing that you want and you need to protect your children from that same intensity.
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_00: And that paradox is hard because these big feelings demand our attention, they call for action.
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_00: But in a co-parenting situation, acting on those big feelings, particularly rage or anger towards the other parent, can really complicate things for your kids.
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_00: So the challenge here lies in allowing yourself, giving yourself permission to feel it, to let that anger or other big emotions have space, finding outlets that you need while also holding back from letting it shape how you you engage with your children or with their other parent when the children are present.
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_00: You can be absolutely furious or heartbroken or whatever it is at your ex-partner and still choose to show up as a steady, loving, compassionate parent for your children.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_00: The two can coexist even though it can feel incredibly difficult to find balance, to find the balance and balance those two.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_00: All of these emotions are real and they're big and they're heavy, and still you have to deal with this person who has hurt and betrayed you because together you've brought these young people, your children, into the world, meaning that you are forever linked by those kids.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_00: And when the betrayal and all the other big emotions, real responses, reactions are fresh and raw, it's really hard to separate your private, personal pain, anguish from how you feel about the other person's, the other parents' role in the lives of your children.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe your ex has left for someone else.
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe there's been that series of betrayals over time that have eventually cracked the foundation of what you thought your relationship was.
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe the betrayal was financial, hiding debts or secret accounts, spending money without knowledge or agreement or gambling or other financial responsibility that jeopardized the family's stability.
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it was an emotional affair.
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_00: All of these are real betrayals with significant impacts, and it's natural and perfectly normal and reasonable to feel like protecting yourself from further hurt and putting up big, big walls.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_00: Never wanting to see or speak to this person again.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_00: But when you have kids together, when you are parents to children, things are more complicated, right?
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_00: You're not just processing your own heartbreak, you're also figuring out how to support your kids who still need their other parent in their lives.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_00: They might not understand the full picture of what's happened, and they likely don't need to, they don't need to know all the details, and so perhaps don't share the depth of your pain or anger, but they're still feeling all the big feelings, they're still processing, they're still trying to understand.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_00: All they know for sure is that their family, their world is changing, and in that change, both parents are really still central to their sense of safety.
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_00: And you didn't choose this, they didn't choose this, but it's your new reality.
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_00: So, how do you support your kid's relationship with their other parent while still supporting your own healing, protecting your own heart?
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_00: Let's break it down.
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_00: The first step is to honour and acknowledge your own pain.
• 9:25
  SPEAKER_00: It's really important to allow and honour and acknowledge what you're feeling, and that what you're feeling is valid.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_00: You've been hurt and you're allowed to feel all of it.
• 9:35
  SPEAKER_00: Anger, betrayal, sadness, confusion, whatever it is.
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_00: It is important not to minimize your emotions or push them down in an attempt to keep the peace for the sake of your kids.
• 9:48
  SPEAKER_00: It can be, and especially if you have people-pleasing tendencies, it can be really tempting to jump to the end for the sake of your children, for the sake of peace, to be the good girl, to jump over your personal pain, push it down so that you can present your kids with a new version of happy family.
• 10:07
  SPEAKER_00: This will come back to bite you.
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_00: You don't have to be the big blended happy Brady Bunch modern family right away.
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_00: You are allowed to feel hurt, betrayal, anger, frustration, rage.
• 10:23
  SPEAKER_00: You are allowed to feel that and not want to play happy families right now.
• 10:28
  SPEAKER_00: Find ways to process your feelings that allow you to express the full depth of your hurt without letting it spill over into your parenting.
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_00: Talk to a therapist, talk to a trusted friend, talk to a coach, journal, scream into a pillow, do whatever you need to do to release the anger and the grief in healthy ways.
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_00: You cannot be everything your kids need you to be if you're drowning in unprocessed emotions, if you're numbing and avoiding feeling your feelings.
• 11:03
  SPEAKER_00: Actively create time and space for feeling it all and allowing it all and moving through the big feelings to the end.
• 11:13
  SPEAKER_00: Actively create this time because, as a parent, you are so focused on your kids and being present, calm, kind, compassionate mum or dad to them, there's not always time and space.
• 11:28
  SPEAKER_00: So actively create time for feeling what you feel and choose to feel it all so that you can then show up for your kids.
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_00: And while this isn't about stuffing emotions down, it's about finding outlets and creating space for your own healing because healing your heart is a process that doesn't have to doesn't have to mean you can't support your kids, it doesn't have to be at odds with supporting your kids.
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_00: And yes, it is okay for them to see you sad, angry, upset, but keep that age and stage appropriate, checking in with yourself.
• 12:04
  SPEAKER_00: Is this theirs or is this just mine?
• 12:06
  SPEAKER_00: Who does it serve for them to see me like this?
• 12:09
  SPEAKER_00: Am I just sharing this because I want them to know their other parent is the cause of this?
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_00: And if that's the case, does that serve your children?
• 12:17
  SPEAKER_00: Only you can know the answer to that.
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_00: And when when there's no time, I was gonna say if there's no time, but sometimes as a parent, there is no time to allow your own feelings.
• 12:29
  SPEAKER_00: Simply acknowledging that they exist and are there can be enough.
• 12:33
  SPEAKER_00: Knowing that you will create time at some point, but there is no space or capacity right now because you're consumed with being parent to your kids.
• 12:42
  SPEAKER_00: So just acknowledging the feelings exist can be enough for now.
• 12:47
  SPEAKER_00: When you can create time and space for feeling it all and processing it all away from the children.
• 12:53
  SPEAKER_00: The second step is to separate your personal pain from your co-parenting role, and this is really, really hard.
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_00: It's about redefining the relationship you have with your now ex-partner, not as partners, but simply as co-parents or parents to children.
• 13:12
  SPEAKER_00: While your pain is valid, it's essential to split your personal feelings about your ex from your role as collaborative co-parents, or at least team members in a parenting situation.
• 13:30
  SPEAKER_00: This can be one of the most difficult parts emotionally of post-separation life.
• 13:35
  SPEAKER_00: Really learning to compartmentalize your relationship with your ex as a former partner and as a co-parent, splitting those relationships out, redefining the container that this new version of relationship will sit in.
• 13:50
  SPEAKER_00: Your ex may well have hurt you deeply, acted in ways you never thought they would, may still be acting in ways that are hurtful and confusing for you and for the children.
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_00: However, and this is really hard to hold alongside your pain, none of that erases or minimizes the importance of their role as a parent to your children, even if they're not showing up as the best version of themselves right now.
• 14:17
  SPEAKER_00: Even though it might feel impossible, the more you can split out your personal feelings about the betrayal from the fact that your kids still need their other parent, the better it will be that you can support your children to deal with the separation, to thrive through and beyond it, and to protect and preserve their relationship with the other per their other parent, even if you'd rather never speak to him or her again, even if you'd prefer to scratch their eyes out, whatever.
• 14:47
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not suggesting you have to forget or forgive what happened, not at all.
• 14:52
  SPEAKER_00: I'm just inviting you to acknowledge that your pain and their parenting of your children can be two separate things.
• 15:03
  SPEAKER_00: So choose to reframe the relationship you have with this person and separate your personal pain from your role as collaborative co-parent with them to your kids.
• 15:17
  SPEAKER_00: The third step is protect your heart without poisoning theirs.
• 15:22
  SPEAKER_00: And this is where it gets next level tricky, right?
• 15:25
  SPEAKER_00: How do you protect your heart without letting your hurt poison your kids' relationship with their other parent?
• 15:33
  SPEAKER_00: It is human nature to want to vent or to let some of your feelings slip when emotions are running high, but the reality is your children are watching, they are modeling, they are learning, and they're absorbing more than you think.
• 15:51
  SPEAKER_00: They are watching you respond and react and behave in this situation.
• 15:58
  SPEAKER_00: Even the smallest negative comment about their other parent where they can hear can have a massive impact on them.
• 16:06
  SPEAKER_00: Kids will internalize these conflicts, they'll feel caught in the middle, and as if they have to choose sides, they have to make one parent the good parent, one parent the bad parent.
• 16:16
  SPEAKER_00: So, as much as possible, shield your kids from stuff that they don't need to know or hear.
• 16:23
  SPEAKER_00: Shield your kids from the details of the betrayal.
• 16:27
  SPEAKER_00: They don't need to know about the affair or the financial mess.
• 16:31
  SPEAKER_00: It is not in their best interests to know the details.
• 16:35
  SPEAKER_00: Some of the stuff is between the adults.
• 16:37
  SPEAKER_00: And yes, that is true, even if your kids are older teenagers or young adults, they don't need to know the details.
• 16:45
  SPEAKER_00: They don't need to carry the weight of your pain.
• 16:49
  SPEAKER_00: Instead, focus on fostering open, healthy communication with them about their own feelings.
• 16:55
  SPEAKER_00: Help them process, allow them to feel, help them to regulate their emotions and find language and words to talk about what they're feeling, what they're thinking, what they're afraid of, what they're worried about.
• 17:07
  SPEAKER_00: And yes, that might be stuff about their other parent.
• 17:11
  SPEAKER_00: And if that's the case, remain neutral in your responses.
• 17:16
  SPEAKER_00: When they do talk about their other parent, even if it's hard to hear, try to respond without letting your anger, your hurt, your emotion take over.
• 17:25
  SPEAKER_00: Your child's relationship with their other parent isn't the same as your relationship with their other parent.
• 17:31
  SPEAKER_00: It's a separate and distinct thing from your relationship with your now ex or soon-to-be ex-partner.
• 17:38
  SPEAKER_00: And they, the children, need you both.
• 17:41
  SPEAKER_00: They need and deserve to feel loved and supported by both parents, to have access and a healthy connected relationship with both of you.
• 17:50
  SPEAKER_00: And your role in encouraging and supporting that connection with their other parent really is a beautiful gift that you're able to give them.
• 18:02
  SPEAKER_00: Number four, create boundaries that support your healing.
• 18:07
  SPEAKER_00: Supporting your kid's relationship with their other parent doesn't mean you have to continue to put yourself in situations or environments where you'll be magnifying your emotions and experiencing further hurt and pain.
• 18:21
  SPEAKER_00: Creating healthy boundaries is essential to your well-being as well as a critical part of your healing and capacity to move forward.
• 18:30
  SPEAKER_00: You can allow your children to maintain their bond with the other parent without sacrificing your emotional well-being.
• 18:37
  SPEAKER_00: And this might look like reducing or limiting direct communication with your ex, limiting it to necessary parenting topics, keeping it on topic about the kids.
• 18:49
  SPEAKER_00: It might mean communicating in ways that aren't face-to-face or even over the telephone, perhaps shifting to text or email communication only for a while, or using a co-parenting app so you can avoid direct confrontation, emotional exchanges, you can avoid being in the same space and having that person impact your emotional well-being even further.
• 19:14
  SPEAKER_00: It could look like creating a schedule that actually minimises face-to-face interactions, especially in those early days when the hurt and big emotions are still raw, changeovers that happen at school or at daycare, for example, or at a neutral third party's place, your parents, his parents, her parents, whatever.
• 19:35
  SPEAKER_00: Creating a schedule that just minimizes that need for interaction.
• 19:40
  SPEAKER_00: Remember that creating these boundaries aren't about punishing or further villainizing your ex.
• 19:48
  SPEAKER_00: It's not about making things more difficult or casting your kid's other parent as the bad cop or in a negative light.
• 19:58
  SPEAKER_00: These boundaries are about creating an emotionally safe buffer zone for you, about defining what is and is okay is and is not okay for you right now.
• 20:09
  SPEAKER_00: They're about protecting your peace, your heart, your emotional well-being, and giving yourself space to heal.
• 20:16
  SPEAKER_00: And they might change over time.
• 20:19
  SPEAKER_00: So create boundaries that support your healing and create safety for you.
• 20:26
  SPEAKER_00: Number five is modeling.
• 20:29
  SPEAKER_00: Modeling resilience and emotional regulation for your kids.
• 20:33
  SPEAKER_00: One of the most powerful things you can do for your children during this time is model how to do hard things, how to process difficult emotions.
• 20:42
  SPEAKER_00: You don't have to pretend everything's fine.
• 20:45
  SPEAKER_00: It's a bit like jumping over to the end, right?
• 20:47
  SPEAKER_00: Pretending that everything's great, everything's fine.
• 20:49
  SPEAKER_00: You can show them what it looks like to move through painful experiences, to do hard things with resilience, with strength, with kindness, with compassion.
• 21:02
  SPEAKER_00: You can model how to do really hard things with compassion, particularly self-compassion, with courage, with kindness, with grace.
• 21:10
  SPEAKER_00: It's a beautiful lesson that you can gift them really.
• 21:15
  SPEAKER_00: Let them see that it's okay to feel sad, it's okay to feel hurt, but that those feelings don't have to consume you or define you, and you don't have to act out of alignment with your values, with who you really are, simply because you are hurting so much or you're so incredibly angry.
• 21:33
  SPEAKER_00: You can feel all of this and still behave in ways that are in alignment with your highest self, your truest vision for yourself, your values, and your personal truth about who you are and how you want to show up in the world.
• 21:48
  SPEAKER_00: This gives your children a sense of stability and safety in the middle of the emotional storm.
• 21:55
  SPEAKER_00: So much is changing for them and around them, but you are their lighthouse.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_00: Their safety and your modelling of resilience and emotional regulation is powerful.
• 22:05
  SPEAKER_00: By showing them that you can experience heartbreak and still stand up strong, you can do really hard things and still act with kindness, integrity, even love.
• 22:15
  SPEAKER_00: You're teaching them a valuable and very important lesson that pain is really part of life.
• 22:23
  SPEAKER_00: Hard things are going to come up for you.
• 22:26
  SPEAKER_00: Big emotional moments are going to be experienced by you, but it doesn't have to make you change the way you show up.
• 22:34
  SPEAKER_00: You can still stay true to you, and that gives them the gift of knowing that they can do all of that too.
• 22:40
  SPEAKER_00: They can do hard things, they can feel the big feelings, they can feel heartbroken or grief or sadness, and still speak their truth, stay true to themselves, act with kindness, compassion, particularly well for others, but particularly for themselves.
• 22:55
  SPEAKER_00: The last point is about healing, healing together and healing separately.
• 23:00
  SPEAKER_00: It's important to do your own work, to do your own healing.
• 23:04
  SPEAKER_00: It's also important to share some of that healing with your kids to create space for your kids' healing, to create space for their emotions.
• 23:13
  SPEAKER_00: Your children will have their own emotional responses to their changing life, their changing family to the betrayal and its aftermath.
• 23:23
  SPEAKER_00: It's really important to create and maintain a safe open environment where they feel really comfortable expressing all of their feelings without fear, without judgment, without concern that they're going to upset or um upset you, validate their emotions, whatever they might be bringing, and reassure them that all their emotions are welcome and all their emotions are valid, and that for you their well-being is one of your top priorities.
• 23:56
  SPEAKER_00: Model your own personal healing, right?
• 23:58
  SPEAKER_00: As I said earlier, your kids are watching, they are learning, they are soaking up biosmosis the way you move through this.
• 24:06
  SPEAKER_00: So supporting your children, but also prioritizing your own healing.
• 24:10
  SPEAKER_00: Model that resilience, model deep self-care that teaches your children, as I said earlier, how to face hard things and move through hard things.
• 24:20
  SPEAKER_00: Balancing your own healing with their healing creates a foundation of stability, of strength, of safety for your children.
• 24:31
  SPEAKER_00: There might also be a need to rebuild trust for the child with their other parent.
• 24:39
  SPEAKER_00: So reassure them about stability, what will stay the same amidst all the change.
• 24:45
  SPEAKER_00: Offer that consistent reassurance that both parents will continue to love and support them, even though their family has got to look and feel different.
• 24:54
  SPEAKER_00: Again, going back to your personal boundaries, modelling those healthy boundaries and coping mechanisms and your own emotional regulation.
• 25:04
  SPEAKER_00: You demonstrate the importance of you show your children that while the marriage has ended, co-parenting can still be respectful and supportive of each other as parents, and also supportive of the kids.
• 25:19
  SPEAKER_00: Be available to them, be there to listen, encourage them to share feelings when they're ready, as they're ready.
• 25:27
  SPEAKER_00: Remind them and reassure them that none of this is their fault.
• 25:30
  SPEAKER_00: There's nothing that they could do to change it.
• 25:33
  SPEAKER_00: It's nothing that they've done or haven't done, none of it's their fault, and that your love for them is never-ending, unwavering.
• 25:40
  SPEAKER_00: If they ask questions, explain things simply.
• 25:43
  SPEAKER_00: Give honest but age-appropriate questions and keep the details to yourself.
• 25:49
  SPEAKER_00: There's stuff that would be just between the adults and that the kids don't need to know.
• 25:54
  SPEAKER_00: Give honest, age-appropriate answers and really avoid speaking down about or speaking badly about, blaming or disparaging their other parent.
• 26:04
  SPEAKER_00: Protect their relationship with their other parent.
• 26:07
  SPEAKER_00: Avoid, and I mentioned this earlier, avoid oversharing.
• 26:11
  SPEAKER_00: Share only what is necessary for their understanding, their processing, focusing on how it affects them rather than the adult stuff, the adult dynamics.
• 26:21
  SPEAKER_00: And if their other parent isn't showing up for them in ways that you would hope, and this happens commonly with a betrayal, with an affair particularly, if their other parent isn't showing up, explore other supportive adults that they can turn to, grandparents, aunts, uncles, close friends that can scaffold and support your kids while they're navigating this hard stuff.
• 26:48
  SPEAKER_00: If they bring emotions or feelings that are negative about their other parent to you, don't opt in.
• 26:58
  SPEAKER_00: Respond neutrally, reflect back at them.
• 27:02
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, that would feel really hard.
• 27:04
  SPEAKER_00: I can imagine that that feels really hard for you.
• 27:06
  SPEAKER_00: Tell me more, rather than opting in and spiralling down into a dumping on your other parent, even if the children are teenagers, young adults, they are still kids in this context.
• 27:24
  SPEAKER_00: So to recap, number one, acknowledge and honour your own pain.
• 27:28
  SPEAKER_00: Two, separate that pain from your role as co-parents, protect your heart without poisoning your kids' hearts, and create boundaries that support your healing.
• 27:42
  SPEAKER_00: Model resilience and emotional regulation for your kids and allow time and space for healing together and healing separately.
• 27:51
  SPEAKER_00: Remember while you navigate this incredibly challenging time, remember that it is possible to protect your heart while still supporting your kids' relationship with their other parent.
• 28:03
  SPEAKER_00: It's not about suppressing your feelings or pretending everything's okay, jumping to the fully healed and recovered version of yourself.
• 28:10
  SPEAKER_00: It's more about finding ways through the hard ways to heal that honour both your pain, your anger, your grief, your sadness, and also honours your children's need for stability and their need for love from both parents and their need for a connected relationship with both of their parents.
• 28:30
  SPEAKER_00: I will not sit here and suggest that this is easy.
• 28:33
  SPEAKER_00: It is anything but.
• 29:32
  SPEAKER_00: Share that summer with your children.
• 29:34
  SPEAKER_00: As I said, if you want to explore working with me so I can support you through this or other challenges that you're experiencing in your marriage as you step out, navigate separation, divorce, or parenting afterwards, book an intro call to discuss coaching options or jump straight into a clarity consult with me, preferably before you engage a lawyer.
• 29:54
  SPEAKER_00: There are links with all the details for that in the show notes.
• 29:59
  SPEAKER_00: If you know somebody who's navigating this stuff who would feel supported by this episode, please share it with them.
• 30:08
  SPEAKER_00: I hope you've taken something from today's episode.
• 30:11
  SPEAKER_00: And until next week, bye for now.
• 30:15
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Sally Ann Hartnell, divorce coach and strategist, and you've been listening to Reflect, Reclaim and Liberate.
• 30:20
  SPEAKER_00: You can follow me on Instagram at Reflect Coaching, and if you can think of anyone who would love or benefit from listening to this episode, please share it with them.
• 30:29
  SPEAKER_00: I'd also be so grateful if you would follow and review the podcast so we can get it in the ears of a whole lot more people just like you who are ready to reclaim and liberate themselves in life and love.
• 30:40
  SPEAKER_00: I hope you'll join me next week for another episode of Reflect, Reclaim and Liberate.
• 30:45
  SPEAKER_00: Until then