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Challenges can Lead Us to Our Passions · Authentic Living

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  Welcome to authentic living.
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  We Roxanne on Global Voice Radio.
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  Join Roxanne Derhodge and her thought provoking conversations, the catalyst to live your life
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  to the fullest
• 0:52
  Hi, everyone.
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  Welcome back, to authentic living with Roxanne.
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  I have a very, very special guest today, a dear friend of mine, and, her name is Kindly July
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  Gil.
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  I hope I've said that correctly.
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  She's, CEO from the UK.
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  And, in the past, she's been responsible for over 3000 people in leadership and empowerment.
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  She's now a revolutionary facilitator in a method Dalian Method, or health and
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  consciousness.
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  And when she's the founder of Spark, expansion consulting, something that I've tried, and I
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  can tell you that I'm, you know, I'm blown away by some of the changes I've seen in myself.
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  Skin Kidney specializes in family transformation for busy leaders and executives,
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  helping them to find a peaceful presence at home and at work, She helps the clients find
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  silence a source of stressors, triggers, sorry, and conscious, bias, judgment, anger, and
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  fears.
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  Her overall objective is to free people from themselves so they can meet the challenge of
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  experiencing home life and work life in expansive, abundant ways.
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  Thank you, Candy, for being here.
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  Thanks for inviting me, Roxanne.
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  Not a problem.
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  So that's a fascinating story going from CEO to now transformational, coach, and I'd really
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  like to hear a little bit about that process and, and kind of how you, how you got from
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  there to here.
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  It wasn't something I expected, because, obviously, as children, we have ideas about
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  what we want to do in life.
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  And for me, it was very clear that I wanted to use my skill set while I was very, extremely
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  mathematical, very logical, and able to achieve goals relatively easily.
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  And I remember flicking through the career books and thinking, what am I gonna do?
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  And it felt like chartered accountancy is something I to be pursuing.
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  And from that, I went into management consultancy, and then I became a finance
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  director for a business.
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  And for the same business became their chief executive.
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  And within that industry for about 20 odd years, 17 years in the same company, And when I
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  was approaching my fortieth birthday, a number of reasons for why I ended up exiting from that
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  company, but there was a sense of, completion.
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  Like, for example, my life in and the career that I had had, and the extreme stress that I
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  carried during that time as a chief executive, I felt like those days were over, and my time
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  as a leader in the industry was over, And really, it was more appropriate for me to put
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  my energy into my home life and my family life, but I wasn't to know that I'm going to go full
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  circle and look to help people again at some point because when I started working in the
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  home environment, so to speak, I found that it was a lot tougher to be able to lead with ease
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  and a lot tougher to be able to create that harmony that is easier to achieve in the
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  boardroom or in the workplace because people come into the workplace for a job.
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  And there is an exchange.
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  They're getting cash or some benefit in exchange for their services.
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  They have a bigger picture on in mind about their responsibility that they have for the
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  company, but in the home, a lot more happens that is that drives the triggers a lot more
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  honesty about the things that cause a stress get revealed.
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  And our wounds surface.
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  And I just found myself in this mire of situations where I really wanted to be at
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  create the peace in harmony at home, and I wanted to understand why it was eluding me.
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  And so therefore, a lot of work started to happen, which was around the judgments and the
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  arguments and the differences of opinion and the clashes that arise.
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  And at at those early stages, all I was looking to do was to improve my family life.
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  I had no intention of doing anything beyond that.
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  But because the power of the dalian method that we ended up using in our home was so extremely
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  potent, it it just seemed more appropriate at a certain point down the path to start sharing
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  the beauty of this method with other people, And, hence, I found myself in the
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  transformation industry now helping to lead and empower people in a brand new way but in a way
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  that really energizes and motivates them.
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  So, like, I feel the circle came back round to the original start point.
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  And now the benefit I'm bringing for people is exponentially powerful.
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  Than it would have been when I was actually a chief exec.
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  So interesting.
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  Right?
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  So, you know, having also been an executive.
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  What it kinda sounds like you know, as a CEO, you kinda get things done.
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  Right?
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  You kinda go in and you lead and, you know, everybody kinda are supposed to do what you do,
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  what what they need to do because of what you're putting out in a day.
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  But it sounds like at home, it really kind of puts you at a different space because we can go
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  to work sometimes 10, 12 hours, and be able to prolong that persona in order to achieve what
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  we to.
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  But at home, it's a little bit different.
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  Right?
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  It's almost like we drop our guard when we walk through the door.
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  And then, you know, the real indie or the real Roxanne hand comes out.
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  Would would that be fair to say?
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  Yeah.
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  I mean, you call this authentic living and what is true for most of us.
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  I don't know how honest everybody is about it.
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  What is true for most of us, but when we come into the home environment, we don't have as
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  much energy or as much resource available, really, for the people that are around us.
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  And we are so comfortable in their presence that sometimes our emotional intelligence or
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  the god that helps to keep us mo emotionally intelligent in the workplace that falls away.
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  And we have more of our own needs that come to the surface.
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  So in a work environment, you know what your role is.
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  You know what you're being our to do.
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  You know what your objectives are.
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  You're fulfilling that vision.
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  So there's a responsibility that you have to other people.
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  Whereas in the home environment, you go back to a little bit like the child that was being
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  nurtured and after and raised and given and given and given, there's a part of us when we
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  come into the home environment when we suddenly expect to receive.
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  And we risk we expect to be nurtured.
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  And those expectations drive a lot of the clashes.
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  So tell me, because from a from a psychotherapist point of view, you know, you
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  hear the term triggers all the time.
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  Right?
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  And I know how we address it in the field.
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  So I'm curious, you know, you know, in in psychotherapy or psychology.
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  We teach people to identify it.
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  We teach them how to kind of understand what they say to themselves and how their behavior
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  gets impacted.
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  So Tell me how the dalian method is different or, bigger of of a bigger scope in reference to
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  some of the things that I'm I'm talking about here.
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  So everything that you're describing is a great start point because you need to be aware of
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  your interaction with another human being.
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  So the first point is when we when you're talking about getting somebody to understand
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  that that a trigger arose, that's a start point.
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  Mhmm.
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  An argument or set of tears or a difference of opinion, there's there's a clash of some sort
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  that's arisen.
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  So with the diet method, what it does is it avoids using the mind at all.
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  So in psychotherapy, obviously, we're engaging the mind to assist us in understanding how we
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  got triggered.
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  But with the Diane method, it says, okay.
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  Let's not start there because a lot of what the ego mind is is made up of is a whole history of
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  circumstances and experiences that it's got bottled up that have led to a load of
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  conclusions.
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  And those conclusions are driving our, subjectivity, our objectivity, our judgment,
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  our perception, our expectation I need, like, it drives all of that.
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  So what the dying method says is let's not start there because the problem actually is in
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  the mind itself because it's the one that has the judgment and it's the one that has a
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  certain bias.
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  But more understand where that bias came from in the cells of your body, And it's not just
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  curious about where did it come from.
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  So there we've, therefore, we've got a rational explanation for why the trigger arose.
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  It goes one step under and says, okay.
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  So we now know where it came from, but underneath that, why did you have to why did
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  you have to have had that experience or that conclusion in your particular life?
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  And what was the ultimate lesson behind that conclusion or trigger that you're being shown?
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  And then once you get into the ultimate lesson, consciousness sets you free through self
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  awareness, because the lesson is the unique message that helps you to understand yourself.
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  And if bottom line, if we knew who we are, If we ultimately knew who we are inside, we would
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  not get triggered by any other human being.
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  Because we would actually know that we're full of certain qualities that can never be taken
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  away from us.
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  So all the trick is around.
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  That's interesting.
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  That's very, very unique, unique perspective because, again, you know, me with the hat that
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  I you know, have have have worn, and having tried this, of course, I'm not conscious what I
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  went through other than I know it really helped me.
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  Yeah.
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  But what we often say in in in our field is that you'll get triggered till the day you die.
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  That's something that you hear psychotherapists and psychologists see all the time.
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  But you're actually saying the opposite.
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  You're saying if I come into who I really am, then I will be triggerless.
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  That is right.
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  You get to you get to a point where you take responsibility for everything that belongs to
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  you.
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  And the truth is, I mean, I've been working with the dial in method since 2008.
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  So, you know, close to, in fact, yeah, just over 9 years now.
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  And the truth is that the concepts and the topics and the things that triggered me 9 years
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  ago, don't even touch me now.
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  And inside inside in my belly area is this sort of very spacious piece that progressively has
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  just got bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger.
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  Now when a new trigger arises, immediately, I know that inside that trigger is another lesson
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  that I need to learn.
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  And I'm willing to go and delve and look for it, because the process is so mathematically
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  mathematical it will always give you the it will always give you the awareness to
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  understand what your particular lesson is.
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  But if I'm in a peaceful state, and the world is running around me outside of me, and I'm
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  just watching it as an observer and nothing's touching me.
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  I'm in my center.
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  I'm in my core.
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  I have a closer attachment to who I am, and and all of life is just progressing in that way.
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  So in a way, you become a watcher.
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  You become a very, very acute witness, sir
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  Yes.
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  Of all the events around you.
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  And those that cause you to flare up or be judgmental or to be triggered are the clues to
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  the fact that there's a part of you that you haven't yet seen.
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  Wow.
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  So when you say that, okay, I guess the maybe the viewers will want I know the question I
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  have is so, like, how many sessions does it take?
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  Is that a fair question?
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  Long is it?
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  Those types of things because I I, you know, I'm not sure, you know, if it's a long term
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  thing or if it's Is it by, issue?
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  Those types of things.
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  If you can hear
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  that.
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  Okay.
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  So so the question about how long is it and how many sessions Again, varies.
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  Right?
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  So there's a version for adults, and then there's a version for young adults, one for
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  teenagers, and one for children.
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  Okay.
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  As you go through the entire family spectrum, as you get into a younger and younger age
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  group, the method length gets shorter and shorter and shorter even though mathematically
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  it's still doing the same thing.
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  So the the good news with that is that even though as parents, we worry about some of our
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  own personality traits, and that we may have passed them on genetically to our children,
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  they can be helped from as young as five years old uplifts.
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  The second part of your question is the method is being created in a way where it is very
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  simple to self use.
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  So so the idea is that over time, our need to find a therapist outside of us will fall away
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  because we will know exactly how to assist ourselves and tap back and claim back our own
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  power.
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  So that's the second point.
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  And then the third point is how many sessions?
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  So What I found is that we've had a variety of types of clients.
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  I'm a facilitator of this method.
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  I got trained back in 2015 with adults first and with teenagers and then with children.
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  And what I find is it depends on what age group we're looking at.
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  Some of my older clients, maybe those that are, like, in their fifties or late sixties or sort
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  of in that age group, so blown away by the potency of the dalian method and how quickly it
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  eradicates old history and just re energizes you into a new state that a lot of those
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  clients didn't want to let go of the facilitation part because that it was like,
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  Hang on a minute.
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  I've just done more work in one session that took us an hour a half to do, but it takes an
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  hour a half for the session.
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  And about an hour to educate you as to how to use it.
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  So I did more work in 2 a half hours than I have in the last decade, So those people go,
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  okay, I'm going deeper and deeper and deeper, which is exactly how I was.
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  So I was around forty two ish years old when I first came across the dalian method, and I
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  worked directly with Madadalian.
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  And even though I didn't understand after my first session, what had actually happened, I
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  knew innately inside me that I felt completely different.
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  And then when I went back again later on in 2009, and I think my second session was around,
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  8 months later, I got a better understanding of what consciousness was doing and how I was
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  being set free from my own monkey mind.
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  And the power of it, Roxanne, was so big that I made a commitment to myself that anything that
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  now happens in my life that causes me some sort of heartache or upset or judgment or or
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  trigger, might would be a fool to keep those qualities when now I have a liberating process
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  that can set me free.
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  And so a combination of 2 things began to happen.
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  One was that I would either work directly with Mada and experience the Dalen method with her,
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  or once the the the self healing version of it got created, which was in 2014, it was formally
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  introduced to the world.
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  And from then onwards, I knew that I had a self sufficient way to help myself too.
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  And this is what applies to everybody, that's listening to this.
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  Is that initially, clearly, you want to be taught how.
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  And if you would like to be shown how to ride the bike somebody sort of holds your hand
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  through that process makes it a lot easier.
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  And people like myself are there to facilitate that for you.
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  But over time, you get liberated to know how to do this work on your own and maintain it And
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  the speed at which you go is your own pace.
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  The regularity with which you actually experienced the session is also at your own
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  pace.
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  It can be 6 months apart or 8 months apart, or it can be shorter periods of like 6 weeks
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  apart.
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  But but for each person, it becomes a different land.
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  Interesting.
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  So, really, you know, I can kinda think of people that have been trying to create change.
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  And I we know what we know about talk therapy with neuroscience is that there's so much more
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  need to include the body.
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  Right?
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  So cognitively, you know, we can talk about thoughts and and feelings, but what was
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  glaringly missing in the field was the use of, you know, the body, and there's been a lot of
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  therapies that have come about since some, you know, the different methods like EMDR or
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  sensory motor.
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  So this sounds like this is even a deeper when you talk consciousness, I guess, you know, if
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  you can explain or give an example of that, I I I think that's the question I have in my mind.
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  How do you know that you're a deeper consciousness?
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  Okay.
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  So first of all, yes, there's loads of great modalities.
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  And, it might sound biased and a little bit arrogant for me to say this, but I'm saying it
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  from a place of knowing rather than a place of sort of being egotistical about it, but the
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  dalian method is almost like that cherry on the top.
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  It's like that 1200 carat diamond.
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  And there's only there's there's only one that's been discovered in the last 100 a year
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  100 years.
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  And that diamond was actually found by a Vancouver based mining company, So I find it
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  really funny in some ways that Madder is based in Vancouver, and she's created a method that
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  has the same level of purity as a rare diamond like that.
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  So what and why the method is so extremely potent is because it's very bonded.
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  Like, all these lot of modalities will have an aspect about, like, bringing the body in or
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  releasing an emotion.
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  Or it may have an aspect to do with, like, finding the original imprint.
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  So there's an element of release that's arising or some modalities like, EFT, they're even
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  attempting to help grow your awareness and you're tapping in new ways of living.
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  What what the dying method does is it says We already know that you are peer.
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  We already know that you're totally abundant.
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  We already know that you're full of love.
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  We already know that you are consciousness, which is all of these qualities, And and
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  because there's a knowing that ultimately, all that needs to happen is anything unconscious in
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  you is waiting to be transformed into consciousness and thus light that constitutes
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  any of those facets, which an consciousness is all knowing or powerful, And at the same time,
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  it's capable of limitless creative ideas, and it's silent.
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  So so when it so the dying method works with that premise that it knows every human being is
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  that And so there is nothing to be added to you to help you to awaken to your own
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  consciousness, all that needs to happen is anything that's unconscious in you that you're
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  blind to that acts as a blind spot that that acts as an area where you're not aware that
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  it's still running inside you like an acts like like a virus program.
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  All that needs to happen is that needs to be transformed back to its nature of light.
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  So, really, what you're coming from.
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  This is a from a place of fullness.
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  Absolutely.
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  So it's almost like, you know, you're saying to the, you know, I often say with when we, you
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  know, see people, we see children, they are, you know, perfect in their entirety coming into
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  the world, but it's almost like we've we rub away the shyness, and then they they kind of
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  get kind of, blunted or or dull by life.
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  So that's basically what you're saying is, like, we are whole, we are conscious, we are
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  abundant, we are full.
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  But we don't know that.
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  Yeah.
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  We don't know.
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  Like that.
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  They think that something's wrong with me.
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  If there's been violence or if there's been abuse of any sort, they think that something's
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  wrong with them.
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  Yes.
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  And all of us can't cannot ever hear these concepts and say, I get it because that's not
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  annoying.
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  And knowing is an experience of that.
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  So, like, for example, if I was to say to you, I I know that I can dive into the deep end of a
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  swimming pool.
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  Mhmm.
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  Now that knowing comes from a previous experience where I've dived into the deep end
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  of a swimming pool.
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  Mhmm.
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  And I know that I'm not gonna drown, and I know that I can swim, and I know that I can cope,
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  and I can tread water.
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  So it's a knowing that comes from an experience.
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  Mhmm.
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  Mhmm.
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  The same is with the dalian method.
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  So as you grow in consciousness of all of these facets of yourself, you get to experience that
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  knowing of you inside you.
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  It is a theory that somebody is describing to you and saying that you are love, it is a
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  physical knowing of this well of love inside you that is just abundantly sharing, and
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  there's no end to it, you get to experience these qualities.
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  So I know you've shared before in other conversations with me, yeah, a bit about Mara
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  and kinda like she's, you know, she can x-ray people or get a sense.
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  Right?
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  So I think I found that very fascinating.
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  So if you if you wouldn't mind sharing a little bit about kind of the process that she went
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  through and, bit about how it got developed because I think that to me was very
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  fascinating.
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  I'm gonna assume that the it would be the same for the listeners.
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  Yes.
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  Because, I mean, I can't be talking about this quality of purity.
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  Mhmm.
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  And this quality of potency unless this method has come from somebody that's reached the peak
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  of where we can reach as human beings.
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  So matter came from Armenia, And, she I think originally was sort of around the Montreal
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  area.
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  I'm not quite sure, but I think it was around the Montreal area that she first arrived in
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  Canada.
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  And she dropped her education because she had been trained as a teacher and had done her.
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  I think she had done a degree in architecture and as a teacher.
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  But very quickly, fell into the hands at around age twenty four, of a woman who acted like a
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  bit of a mentor, that gave her a book from a mystic in India called Osha.
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  Okay.
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  And
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  it was a book about, socialism.
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  And this book basically, like, blew her mind because the contents of it had so much truth in
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  it about the country that she had just left.
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  And so that intrigued her to understand more about this mystic And at the age of twenty
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  four, she became very, very devoted to meditating to to the, to the path of self
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  discovery.
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  And at the very young age, when she was about five years old, she had watched her grandfather
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  die, And somehow cognitively, she understood that he if he's just died and life is
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  continuing on without him today, That means I'm going to die, and life is going to continue on
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  without me too.
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  So at the age of five, she immediately came to that awareness that said, so if I'm gonna die
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  and I'm only here for a short while, then what am I doing here?
• 26:02
  Who am I?
• 26:03
  And why am I here?
• 26:05
  At 5 at 5.
• 26:07
  Wow.
• 26:07
  But he asked those questions at that age.
• 26:11
  Who am I?
• 26:12
  And that is the ultimate question for all of us to ask, who am I?
• 26:17
  And so so her energy was already channeled into wanting to know more about herself and to
• 26:24
  wanting to discover who she really was.
• 26:26
  And so she fell into the hands of this amazing, amazing miss it.
• 26:30
  And from work that he had created, he'd created some very, very practical tools, active
• 26:37
  meditations, help you to get the experience of knowing who you are.
• 26:44
  And so at the age of thirty three, she became in light and had the same awakening experience
• 26:51
  that the Buddha had when he was on the planet.
• 26:56
  So at that point now, she knows who she is.
• 27:00
  So her quest has been, her her, like, dying question has been solved.
• 27:07
  But but, of course, she's only thirty three years old.
• 27:10
  Well, so she's quite young at this point still.
• 27:13
  That's right.
• 27:13
  And so after that, it became okay.
• 27:16
  So now I know who I am.
• 27:18
  So I still am in this world.
• 27:21
  So what am I gonna do next?
• 27:22
  It's like, okay, hands up.
• 27:23
  What am I doing next?
• 27:25
  And this is where she was reunited with her childhood gift.
• 27:30
  And her childhood gift is, like, you know, how the 2 of us are having a conversation right
• 27:34
  now?
• 27:35
  Mhmm.
• 27:35
  Even as the listeners are listening to me, They're hearing my words, but there'll be
• 27:40
  another conversation happening inside about what they're hearing.
• 27:44
  Right.
• 27:44
  Right.
• 27:45
  So from a child, a matter could always hear the inside combination.
• 27:51
  Of what you're not saying.
• 27:52
  Of what you're not saying.
• 27:53
  Like, look, I'm just making this up.
• 27:55
  So, like, you could have an aunt that comes to visit.
• 27:57
  And on the surface, she's saying, you know, hi.
• 27:59
  Hi, sweetheart.
• 28:00
  Really happy to see you.
• 28:02
  But inside, she's saying I'm really tired.
• 28:04
  I'm really exhausted with that in my way.
• 28:05
  Right?
• 28:06
  So the matter could hear the insincerity of the outside conversation.
• 28:12
  Hear the truth of the inside conversation.
• 28:15
  Wow.
• 28:16
  And so when she became enlightened, she was reunited with that gift, which is a bit bizarre
• 28:22
  to be able to hear this other stuff going on-site and and the insincerity of all of that.
• 28:28
  So she wanted to understand what are these thoughts people are having, and why are they
• 28:33
  even there, and how can we turn these thoughts into conscious light.
• 28:40
  And that's how she began to experiment with what she was hearing and soon she was able to
• 28:46
  see as well inside people.
• 28:48
  And the combination of being able to hear and see inside people, and then it became that she
• 28:52
  was very empathic.
• 28:53
  And so she could the all was what was happening inside us too.
• 28:57
  So the combination of all those 3 things helped her to create this mathematical formula of
• 29:03
  releasing the debris that's inside that's forming that conversation inside and getting to
• 29:10
  the point where it gets turned into conscious light.
• 29:13
  And unity begins to unfold?
• 29:16
  I mean, like I said, it sounds it sounds fascinating.
• 29:19
  So I'm just curious.
• 29:22
  Can you kind of give us a a sense of the some of the steps?
• 29:26
  Like, let's say, someone comes in, what should they expect?
• 29:30
  I'm gonna assume that you know, I know prior to me meeting you, I had no idea about any of
• 29:37
  this.
• 29:37
  Yeah.
• 29:38
  And that so for the average person that probably has seen a coach has seen a
• 29:43
  psychotherapist, has seen a psychologist, kinda like, what's how does this kinda compare or, I
• 29:49
  mean, not that we're trying to compare and contrast, but just what what is the what should
• 29:53
  the, expect of the experience if they were to come in or or have a an an online session with
• 29:59
  you.
• 30:00
  Okay.
• 30:01
  So, first of all, there's a a short amount of time spent understanding the person's story.
• 30:09
  Okay.
• 30:09
  That's the cognitive conversation.
• 30:11
  The one that they might have with a psychotherapist or somebody has to.
• 30:15
  So a very short amount of the appointment allotted to that And there's a prescript
• 30:21
  formula that gets sent out to the prospective client on how to prepare for that and what,
• 30:25
  what to care to keep the focus on the right matters.
• 30:28
  And so once that conversation has been had, now what is more important is to understand why
• 30:35
  that life circumstance is taking place.
• 30:38
  And what it is that person needs to see or learn about themselves to set themselves free
• 30:44
  from that life circumstance.
• 30:47
  So so the end result of the session is always a growth in awareness.
• 30:54
  So they discover something about themselves.
• 30:57
  It is accompanied with deep relaxation that stays with them.
• 31:03
  And the growth in awareness will bring in a new understanding as to how to interact in the
• 31:12
  world.
• 31:14
  And that new understanding becomes automatic.
• 31:18
  So it may not be a conscious change, but it may just be something that you're finding from that
• 31:23
  inner peace you're interacting in a different way with the world.
• 31:27
  Yes.
• 31:27
  Because the consciousness has already come in during the session.
• 31:31
  So what will happen is that your behavior will match your new awareness.
• 31:37
  And for a short while, it'll feel like, wow, I'm doing this, but I wasn't doing this before.
• 31:41
  And for a while, you'll keep noticing it.
• 31:44
  And then as the weeks progress, it just gets integrated as your new way of living.
• 31:50
  And so and then this new way of living is just who you are.
• 31:53
  I'll give you an example.
• 31:56
  I'll use one from my daughter, and then I'll use one from a client.
• 32:00
  So my youngest daughter, at the time was only nine years old and was afraid to read out
• 32:11
  aloud.
• 32:12
  In a classroom.
• 32:14
  And so she had visited Mada and had had a child session with Mada.
• 32:21
  And the fear of reading out aloud was removed.
• 32:26
  So people often say, you know, feel the fear and do it anyway.
• 32:30
  Mhmm.
• 32:30
  But sometimes the fear is so intense that your ability to act on the do it anyway is not gonna
• 32:37
  arise.
• 32:38
  You're paralyzed in that fear.
• 32:42
  So her ability to speak up in a classroom was fairly non existent, And after this session,
• 32:49
  what happened was, I think the session was only an hour long for a child.
• 32:56
  Then Mara gave her a book and asked her asked her to read and help her out.
• 33:03
  At the end of the session.
• 33:05
  Yeah.
• 33:06
  Amazing.
• 33:07
  And Safran still remembers that moment where the book was handed to her and suddenly her
• 33:14
  ability to string the sentences together in a fluid way were just there.
• 33:20
  So this is the behavioral change.
• 33:22
  It arose instantly.
• 33:25
  Once the awareness had come in and she had broken the cycle of the trap that she was in
• 33:31
  where she was afraid to speak out aloud.
• 33:33
  So a small example, but it helps you to understand how the behavior shifts instantly.
• 33:39
  Which is refreshing, right, because I think of, you know, some people with, you know, complex
• 33:45
  trauma, you know, like violence and and, you know, sexual abuse and those types of things.
• 33:50
  I mean, those clients live with so much pain.
• 33:54
  Right?
• 33:55
  So it's just the the thought that that could be, cleared in a short period of time.
• 34:01
  I think is is is re it just I mean, it it lights my heart up to be even perceive that as
• 34:06
  being a possibility, Kindy.
• 34:07
  That's right.
• 34:08
  And so many people talk about miraculous results.
• 34:12
  And the truth is most that experienced the dalian method use that phrase.
• 34:17
  This was miraculous.
• 34:18
  The outcome of this was nothing short of miraculous.
• 34:21
  It becomes very typical phrase.
• 34:23
  And I know that more and more people that get to use this method, the days will go when we're
• 34:28
  even seeping that certain transformation is miraculous because they'll see it just unfold
• 34:34
  under their nose.
• 34:36
  Well, I I mean, it's and just hearing that, I I could just imagine for anybody that has those
• 34:41
  things that they've, you know, kind of cycled through and gone back over and over again, you
• 34:46
  know, it that would be something that I I'm thinking, wow, to be able to shift something
• 34:53
  that can be that entrenched in someone I think would be a would be a truly a gift.
• 34:58
  That brings me to the example that, I wasn't sure which client example I was going to use,
• 35:03
  but it seems like it's the appropriate one.
• 35:05
  So I had a client that had been seeing a therapist for 2 years, had been getting some
• 35:12
  counseling help, And the issue was that she had been abused as a child.
• 35:17
  And, and the abuse that happened from family members as often it is the case.
• 35:24
  And at the end of our session together, she understood why the abuse had happened, She
• 35:31
  understood the lesson, but it was designed to teach her, and she also felt forgiveness
• 35:38
  towards the perpetrators.
• 35:40
  Because she felt that expanded and lied.
• 35:43
  And at the end of that meeting, she said to me, and she looked random at me, and she said, I
• 35:48
  don't need a counselor anymore.
• 35:49
  Do I?
• 35:51
  Well, you know, on average, it takes it takes years years.
• 35:55
  She's been somebody for 2 years.
• 35:57
  Yes.
• 35:57
  Absolutely.
• 35:58
  And this
• 35:58
  was her first session with the Dalian method.
• 36:02
  And there's a point where you go into the back of your head and the past life trauma and
• 36:08
  history, around the experience resurfaces.
• 36:13
  And then when we move further on into the method, it takes you into your 3rd eye, which
• 36:17
  will then wait awaken you to your knowing and your lesson behind the experience, it was so
• 36:23
  profound for me to watch the learning that she had as a result of that, that some and it's
• 36:32
  gonna sound bizarre that a degree of, not only relaxation, but almost a sense of gratitude for
• 36:43
  the fact that the experience even arose in the first place because the liberation was so
• 36:49
  massive, that without that pain and hurt, that liberation wasn't going to arise for her.
• 36:56
  And this is what I mean by unity.
• 36:58
  Nobody stays in a victim state.
• 37:00
  Nobody stays in a place where they're experiencing blame or or anger or upset towards
• 37:07
  another human being, do you understand your life experiences from a new dimension?
• 37:13
  And your judgments towards others and perpetrators and all that type of stuff
• 37:18
  systematically fall away.
• 37:20
  Now this particular client had so much happening one session, her very first session.
• 37:25
  And I remember her writing back saying that was life changing.
• 37:29
  Well, I mean, I'm, I mean, I'm listening to this because you and I have never chatted about
• 37:32
  this in the past.
• 37:35
  You know, and I know how traumatic put in context just to abuse outside of yourself,
• 37:40
  especially when you're younger, it's it's want some of the most difficult, things that I've
• 37:45
  seen, unfortunately, as a psychotherapist, and it oftentimes, you know, the perception is the
• 37:51
  person believes I am depressed.
• 37:53
  I am suicidal.
• 37:55
  That becomes their identity, you know, versus recognizing that it's a symptom.
• 38:00
  Right?
• 38:00
  I I cut or I do this or that because they they embody the symptoms, and then they forget
• 38:06
  really that that's not who they are.
• 38:09
  That's the symptoms that came about from the trauma.
• 38:11
  So I think
• 38:12
  pain.
• 38:12
  From the pain is creating that, and it's the identification that the mind and the ego has to
• 38:20
  that pain that perpetuates the cycle of what happens in the darkness and the heaviness comes
• 38:26
  as a result of it.
• 38:28
  But as
• 38:28
  soon as a person is able to break the chain to the pain, and the identification to the story,
• 38:36
  and they step outside of it.
• 38:38
  When they stepped outside of it and they see what it was all about, then they're free.
• 38:44
  Well, powerful.
• 38:46
  Like, I mean, truly powerful if you're, you know, again, seeing it from the other end where
• 38:51
  it it takes sometimes very, very long, to have people make shifts.
• 38:56
  But if you're saying that there that's possible in in an hour a half, like, you know, amazing.
• 39:02
  So I'm in awe of this method.
• 39:05
  As you know, you you and I have had conversations just being, way together about
• 39:09
  it, and I've shared my experience So if if you were to leave a couple of words, with with
• 39:16
  viewers about, what you do as a transformational coach and this method, what
• 39:21
  what, what couple of woods would you leave with them about this experience and why it's worth
• 39:26
  it, to, to be able to experience this?
• 39:31
  Well, 1st of all, I I I am a mother of 3 children, and the effects of this method on my
• 39:39
  own psyche and my own life, was that dramatic that the only thing I wanted to do was to share
• 39:45
  it with my 3 kids.
• 39:47
  Because I did not want them stuck in any cycle of self sabotage.
• 39:52
  Mhmm.
• 39:53
  And the inability to trust their own instinct and to do what's best for them and to love
• 39:57
  themselves in the way that they rightfully should.
• 40:00
  I didn't want any of those traces left as a result of how I'd raised them.
• 40:08
  So what I really want to share is as human beings, we deserve for the very best of our
• 40:17
  life to unfold.
• 40:20
  And many of us get caught up in the pain and the experiences we've we've been party to
• 40:28
  without the understanding that the pain is only a small step towards its ultimate purpose.
• 40:36
  And that small step being, but that moment in time has arisen for you to dig deep to find the
• 40:44
  silver lining.
• 40:45
  Mhmm.
• 40:46
  And if you look for the silver lining, the only person that gets set free is you.
• 40:53
  So you have absolutely everything to gain and nothing to lose by attempting to go through a
• 41:02
  process like this.
• 41:04
  And the exciting thing is that if there is any part of you that is nervous, just be mindful
• 41:12
  and understand that it is fair that is driving you to be nervous.
• 41:18
  Because somewhere, there's become a comfort in knowing sort of how to be unhappy and miserable
• 41:24
  and stay in that zone, but sometimes our biggest threat is stepping out of it into a
• 41:30
  life that has a lot more light in it.
• 41:32
  A lot more use in it.
• 41:34
  Sometimes the energy that it takes to be unhappy, the thought of not using that energy,
• 41:39
  where would it go?
• 41:40
  Sometimes that's that's a bit scary.
• 41:42
  Kinda staying with what you know versus opening a door to some, definite possibility or or
• 41:47
  enlightenment is is sometimes tough.
• 41:49
  So in reality, isn't it?
• 41:51
  That's why
• 41:51
  it is.
• 41:52
  Is.
• 41:53
  It is.
• 41:53
  So I would love for the viewers to, know how to get a hold of you.
• 41:57
  I, you know, I, I think you're still accepting people to come and see you.
• 42:02
  And, you know, so let let us know where we can get ahold of you.
• 42:06
  And, if they have questions, you know, I would love for them to reach out because I think I'm
• 42:12
  sure we're gonna have a lot of questions about this.
• 42:14
  So let us know where where people can get a hold of you.
• 42:18
  Okay.
• 42:18
  So in terms of reaching me, I have a website.
• 42:22
  And on that website, I have a phone number on there so people can make phone calls and talk
• 42:26
  to me.
• 42:27
  I offer at least a 30 minute consultation, often it runs up to about 45 minutes
• 42:32
  complimentary to talk through somebody's issue so that they can quickly see how they can help
• 42:39
  themselves and and how something could be facilitated to move them along on their
• 42:43
  journey.
• 42:45
  Also, on the website, which is www, and it's in my name, Hindi Gil.com.
• 42:51
  So that's kindi.
• 42:55
  Gill.com.
• 42:57
  On that site, I have a small download too, which helps people to see at a cognitive level,
• 43:04
  the 5 key concepts that need to be managed and addressed in order to have more of a happy and
• 43:12
  loving and fulfilling and peaceful life.
• 43:14
  And so that's available as a free download too.
• 43:17
  Awesome.
• 43:17
  Well, Kinney, thanks so much.
• 43:19
  I've learned so much more.
• 43:21
  I felt like I had had enough conversation, but, obviously, there's a lot more for me to to
• 43:25
  learn about above this method.
• 43:27
  And, obviously, it's bringing lighting the world, which is what a what a nice place to be,
• 43:32
  to be able to the honor to be able to, give this to the world.
• 43:36
  Thanks so much for being on, with, authentic living with Roxanne.
• 43:41
  I hope that maybe in the future, maybe you can come back.
• 43:44
  Maybe you can come back with Meta.
• 43:46
  Any possibilities would be great.
• 43:51
  Yes.
• 43:51
  And, so for everyone, thanks so much for tuning in, for authentic living with Roxanne.
• 43:58
  If you're needing anything further, you can reach out to me at Roxanne.
• 44:03
  Take care.
• 44:04
  Have a great evening.
• 44:05
  Thanks, Roxanne.
• 44:06
  Thanks to everybody, Evan.
• 44:07
  Bye bye
• 44:20
  Joined authentic living with Roxanne every Thursday, 11 AM Eastern on Global Voice Radio.