Latest / We Talk Back / EP. 78 " Selfish Self Care"

Transcript

EP. 78 " Selfish Self Care" · We Talk Back

• 0:03
  Speaker 1: We're just two unapologetically Black women with an opinion who
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: talk back. What's up, y'all?
• 0:11
  Speaker 2: Thank you for tuning in for a new episode of
• 0:13
  Speaker 2: We Talk Back, a show dedicated to you niggas and
• 0:16
  Speaker 2: these hoes. This is your co-host, AJ. What up, girl? Hey, y'all.
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: It's Official Tam Bam, y'all.
• 0:22
  Speaker 2: I love y'all. I love y'all once again.
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: Hey, AJ.
• 0:26
  Speaker 2: How was your weekend? My weekend.
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: What the hell I did? Oh, I took some pictures
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: for my birthday. And then I got drunk per usual
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: on my Sunday. I didn't do nothing else the rest
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: of the weekend. I just chilled in the house after work.
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: It was raining. It seems like it was raining every day.
• 0:46
  Speaker 2: I know the grass was tapping.
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: Is this Seattle? Is this Seattle or something? I don't know.
• 0:50
  Speaker 2: We need some rain. Girl, it's been hot as hell outside.
• 0:53
  Speaker 2: Cool it down a little bit. Every day? I like
• 0:56
  Speaker 2: when it rains. Especially if I ain't got shit to do.
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's because you got on a wig. Bitch like
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: me got real hair out right now.
• 1:06
  Speaker 2: It's stupid. Bitch, I be in the rain like I'm Brazilian. Like,
• 1:10
  Speaker 2: who cares about getting wet? It's a black girl problem.
• 1:18
  Speaker 2: What about your weekend?
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: What you do?
• 1:20
  Speaker 2: I don't do much. I just hung out in the
• 1:21
  Speaker 2: city some dinner and kicking it. Some Netflix and chilling
• 1:26
  Speaker 2: a little bit. That's about it.
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: Oh, you got fucked. So you got fucked.
• 1:30
  Speaker 2: Pardon me?
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: Netflix and chill. That means you got fucked.
• 1:34
  Speaker 2: That's Netflix and drill, okay? I said Netflix and chill, okay?
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: Yeah, wink, wink, everybody.
• 1:43
  Speaker 2: Just chill. Not too much. Just hang out around the city.
• 1:53
  Speaker 2: One day I'm going to go on a scavenger hunt
• 1:54
  Speaker 2: around here. Go ahead.
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: Oh, yeah. My birthday is on Saturday, y'all. So when
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: you hear this in a couple of days, it's my birthday.
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: Y'all come to my page and tell me happy birthday.
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: And y'all can send me some money, too, if y'all
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: want to, to my cash app.
• 2:07
  Speaker 2: Should I?
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: I'm scared because, you know, I put my cash app
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: out there. Somebody might hack my shit and steal all
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: my money, ain't it?
• 2:13
  Speaker 2: People already got your cash app damn near. Okay. Yeah.
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: Well, it's money sign Tams Vanity. T-A-M-S-V-A-N-I-T-Y.
• 2:24
  Speaker 2: Send a bitch.
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: A couple dollars for a birthday. Don't play with her.
• 2:31
  Speaker 2: It's cancer season, y'all. Cry baby ass season. Don't nobody
• 2:35
  Speaker 2: got no time for that shit. Whatever.
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: I'll cry and drink at the same time this weekend.
• 2:40
  Speaker 2: Fuck it. Shame. I ain't got nothing.
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: I'm going to Atlanta to hang out with my best friend.
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: I think it's birthday bash this weekend.
• 2:50
  Speaker 2: I might see y'all out there.
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: This bitch ain't coming, y'all. i might hardly come all
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: right we'll see i might blow it out there we'll
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: see if you pull up so uh what you got
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: for stupid internet news you seen any uh any special
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: any interesting topics out there i did i did see
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: um A woman posted that her husband had threatened to
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: divorce her, and she didn't get her physical body in shape.
• 3:24
  Speaker 1: And she shows a video of her losing weight to
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: save her marriage. And there were a lot of people
• 3:29
  Speaker 1: who were like, uh-uh, you should divorce him, get in shape,
• 3:32
  Speaker 1: and then leave that nigga.
• 3:33
  Speaker 2: What's your thoughts? No. We already know men are visual, okay?
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 3:39
  Speaker 2: So if you just look like a totally different person
• 3:41
  Speaker 2: from who he married, it's understandable. Now, it depends on
• 3:44
  Speaker 2: how he came at her with the shit. At least
• 3:46
  Speaker 2: he talked to her about it. At least he didn't
• 3:48
  Speaker 2: just immediately go out the damn relationship as soon as
• 3:51
  Speaker 2: his bitch started getting a little chunky. And she had
• 3:53
  Speaker 2: a baby, right?
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: Yeah, she had kids after having a baby. She had
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: let herself go.
• 3:58
  Speaker 2: Yeah, a lot of things take place. Less time for yourself.
• 4:02
  Speaker 2: Having to take care of everybody else in the household.
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: Including him.
• 4:07
  Speaker 2: Yeah. And then, you know, having to try and find
• 4:09
  Speaker 2: time to work out a little bit, which we already
• 4:11
  Speaker 2: know like the diet is made, like mainly it's the eating.
• 4:14
  Speaker 2: If you don't have time to go to the gym,
• 4:15
  Speaker 2: you got time to not eat fucked up. Right.
• 4:19
  Speaker 1: I agree.
• 4:22
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 4:22
  Speaker 1: I feel the same way. People were like really mad
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: at him, but I agree with him. Like if I'm
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: with someone, if you don't care about your body, I
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: don't think we compatible.
• 4:30
  Speaker 2: Right. Yeah.
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: I got to love yourself. Yeah. You got to love yourself.
• 4:36
  Speaker 1: More than you love me, I want you to love yourself.
• 4:39
  Speaker 1: And that means keeping yourself, because I want you to
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: be here a long time, you know? So if you
• 4:44
  Speaker 1: don't care about being here a long time, then we
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: can't be together.
• 4:47
  Speaker 2: Yeah. And a lot of things comes with that extra weight.
• 4:50
  Speaker 2: You know, you might get a little lazy. You probably
• 4:53
  Speaker 2: ain't trying to fuck. You probably can't get stretched out
• 4:56
  Speaker 2: as much as you used to. Like, all type of
• 4:58
  Speaker 2: things come with weight gain.
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: And.
• 5:02
  Speaker 2: I mean, I don't know. Men are visual. That's what
• 5:04
  Speaker 2: I do know. So if you love your fucking husband,
• 5:07
  Speaker 2: you'll get it together. It shouldn't always be like, oh,
• 5:11
  Speaker 2: men got to accept this about women. That's not fair.
• 5:14
  Speaker 2: And that's how we be sometimes. Yeah.
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: If he married you fat, then I'd be like, nigga,
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: I was fat when we met.
• 5:21
  Speaker 2: Exactly. Just like I give my disclosure to men all
• 5:23
  Speaker 2: the time that I wear weave all the time. So
• 5:26
  Speaker 2: one year in the relationship, don't be coming at me
• 5:28
  Speaker 2: about this goddamn hair. I gave you the disclosure. Right.
• 5:32
  Speaker 2: And even weight. Shit, I got a fat max, okay?
• 5:35
  Speaker 2: And once I hit it, I'll start coming down from it.
• 5:38
  Speaker 2: But don't you say a motherfucking word to me, because
• 5:40
  Speaker 2: I've been giving you the same body when I met
• 5:43
  Speaker 2: your ass. Nigga. So, look, apparently Jocelyn Savage wants to
• 5:50
  Speaker 2: marry R. Kelly, or she's engaged to R. Kelly. He
• 5:55
  Speaker 2: just got sentenced.
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: To 30 years. He ain't even got no wealth anymore, right?
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: He's like, He got a debt of like a million,
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: $ 50 million debt.
• 6:05
  Speaker 2: He got to have some money somewhere. He got to
• 6:08
  Speaker 2: have some money somewhere. I don't know.
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: Why would you be engaged to a nigga who's 50
• 6:13
  Speaker 1: and got 30 years in prison? Yeah.
• 6:15
  Speaker 2: It doesn't make sense.
• 6:16
  Speaker 1: I don't get it.
• 6:17
  Speaker 2: Is it clout chasing? Make it make sense. Possibly. Possibly.
• 6:20
  Speaker 1: Girl, if you don't get your stupid ass out of here.
• 6:26
  Speaker 2: It ain't that much love in the world. Right. So
• 6:28
  Speaker 2: they're saying before sentencing, Savage tried to convince the judge
• 6:32
  Speaker 2: that Kelly didn't deserve such a harsh sentencing. She pleaded
• 6:36
  Speaker 2: that she was not a victim and that Kelly was
• 6:38
  Speaker 2: an amazing person. She also referred to herself as his wife.
• 6:42
  Speaker 2: She goes on to say, My relationship with Robert is amazing,
• 6:46
  Speaker 2: she wrote. He's the best thing that's ever happened to me.
• 6:49
  Speaker 2: We have a very special connection and are deeply in love.
• 6:52
  Speaker 2: I still support Robert to this day because I love
• 6:55
  Speaker 2: him and will always be there to support him. She says,
• 6:59
  Speaker 2: Robert is not the monster that the government has described
• 7:03
  Speaker 2: him as. Now, one thing, I don't know if everybody
• 7:05
  Speaker 2: looked at the charges that Robert, I'm about to say
• 7:07
  Speaker 2: Robert Kelly, that R. Kelly got. One of the charges
• 7:11
  Speaker 2: is this. It's called the Mann Act. Is this the
• 7:14
  Speaker 2: Mann Act? Let me see. I just want to be sure.
• 7:20
  Speaker 2: But to me, yes, it's the Mann Act. M-A-N-N Act.
• 7:26
  Speaker 2: And y'all listen, this is the White Slave Traffic Act.
• 7:29
  Speaker 2: Also called the Mann Act is the United States federal
• 7:32
  Speaker 2: law passed June 25th, 1910 and is named after Congressman
• 7:37
  Speaker 2: James Robert Mann of Illinois's. So this is for white
• 7:40
  Speaker 2: men who were trafficking slaves. That's just a little, how
• 7:44
  Speaker 2: in the hell did Ghislaine Maxwell not get that type
• 7:48
  Speaker 2: of charge? But you give a black man, Robert Kelly,
• 7:51
  Speaker 2: like a slave trafficking charge. That is really where that
• 7:54
  Speaker 2: we would be seeing that charge put on anybody in 2022.
• 7:58
  Speaker 1: Right. But not old girl.
• 8:00
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Like, I don't know that that's, that's a real treacherous.
• 8:05
  Speaker 2: I don't know. I don't know if, I don't know.
• 8:08
  Speaker 2: I don't know. I don't know. I got to go back.
• 8:10
  Speaker 2: I got to go look at what all he was
• 8:12
  Speaker 2: convicted of. I know that was one of the charges
• 8:14
  Speaker 2: and then like regular like sex trafficking and stuff like that.
• 8:16
  Speaker 2: But that's real racial to me for some reason. Yeah. Yeah.
• 8:25
  Speaker 2: What else we got going on, bitch? Did you see
• 8:26
  Speaker 2: this damn dude repossessing his baby mama bumper because she
• 8:30
  Speaker 2: put his ass out?
• 8:32
  Speaker 1: Mm hmm. Katie.
• 8:33
  Speaker 2: I don't understand men.
• 8:35
  Speaker 1: That made me think of Kevin Hart when he was
• 8:37
  Speaker 1: talking about how his daddy would be mad and take
• 8:40
  Speaker 1: all the lights off the Christmas tree.
• 8:42
  Speaker 2: He'd be like, give me the steak. Put it in
• 8:44
  Speaker 2: my hand, bitch. Taking the food with me out this bitch.
• 8:48
  Speaker 2: Like your kid still has to ride in that car, sir.
• 8:52
  Speaker 2: This goes to show you that if a man can't
• 8:54
  Speaker 2: get pussy from a woman, he doesn't see the value
• 8:56
  Speaker 2: in doing anything for her after that point. Like, if
• 8:58
  Speaker 2: we ain't fucking no more, I don't see the value
• 9:00
  Speaker 2: in paying child support. I don't see the value in
• 9:03
  Speaker 2: coming to get my damn kid, bitch. I don't see
• 9:04
  Speaker 2: the value in having this bumper on your car. What
• 9:08
  Speaker 2: the hell? I had a nigga cancel.
• 9:10
  Speaker 1: He was supposed to take me to dinner for my birthday,
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: and I didn't give him none the night before.
• 9:15
  Speaker 2: I didn't even see him. I didn't hang out with him.
• 9:18
  Speaker 2: And he said he wasn't taking me to dinner no more.
• 9:22
  Speaker 2: He petty as hell. Boy, fuck you in that little.
• 9:27
  Speaker 1: Seafood dinner you was about to say you did.
• 9:28
  Speaker 2: That little steak dinner.
• 9:31
  Speaker 1: It's more steak out.
• 9:33
  Speaker 2: There, nigga. Right. Then you gonna try to fuck on
• 9:36
  Speaker 2: me next week, but you didn't come through for my birthday.
• 9:39
  Speaker 2: Everybody knows you don't play with women about their damn birthday, nigga. Right. Yeah,
• 9:44
  Speaker 2: that's a dead end. You dug.
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: And I'm celibate, so no, there's no pussy for you, sir.
• 9:52
  Speaker 2: Send a little bit of this. What you think about
• 9:56
  Speaker 2: academics and how he was coming at uh Meek Mills
• 9:59
  Speaker 2: I know you saw that shit Meek Mills and the
• 10:00
  Speaker 2: baby and um he also put up this old video
• 10:04
  Speaker 2: from like 2014 2015 with Kanye um holding a bowl
• 10:10
  Speaker 2: of food for some designer feeding him yeah I didn't
• 10:14
  Speaker 2: get to see that what was that about So Academics
• 10:17
  Speaker 2: took to his YouTube channel and was saying how he
• 10:20
  Speaker 2: finds it funny that certain rappers tend to make clowns
• 10:28
  Speaker 2: of themselves basically to entertain white billionaires. So he was
• 10:32
  Speaker 2: talking about a video with Meek Mill's bunny hopping after
• 10:35
  Speaker 2: losing a tennis match with Mark Rubin. He was hopping
• 10:40
  Speaker 2: and Mark Rubin was like behind the... camera saying shit like, yeah, hop, hop.
• 10:45
  Speaker 2: Tell him why you hopping, Meek. Like, cause you lost tennis,
• 10:49
  Speaker 2: like hopping and, and, and just like some shit you
• 10:53
  Speaker 2: wouldn't see a real nigga doing. That's all. You know
• 10:56
  Speaker 2: what I'm saying?
• 10:57
  Speaker 1: Niggas are not allowed to have fun and be lighthearted
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: for some reason. If you lighthearted and having a good time,
• 11:03
  Speaker 1: you selling out or you playing yourself.
• 11:05
  Speaker 2: That's not fair. Like he was just having fun. But
• 11:07
  Speaker 2: what about Kanye holding this man's ribs and french fries
• 11:11
  Speaker 2: in the back of a Sprinter van and Kim K
• 11:13
  Speaker 2: is recording it. And he's holding this man's plate while
• 11:16
  Speaker 2: a man eats out of it. It's some designer. What
• 11:20
  Speaker 2: do you think about that?
• 11:23
  Speaker 1: I mean, it's not that deep. People be reading too
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: much into it, I think. Like, why was he holding it?
• 11:27
  Speaker 1: He asked him to hold, like.
• 11:28
  Speaker 2: Kanye didn't look happy in the face on the video.
• 11:31
  Speaker 2: I'll send it to you so you can see what
• 11:32
  Speaker 2: I'm talking about. But he didn't look happy in the face.
• 11:34
  Speaker 2: But metaphorically, maybe it's like, yeah, I'm going to have
• 11:37
  Speaker 2: these motherfuckers eating out my hands type shit. I don't know.
• 11:40
  Speaker 2: Because this was still 2015. We know that Kanye done
• 11:45
  Speaker 2: blew up since then. Even more. Did the man... Was
• 11:48
  Speaker 2: he eating.
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: With his mouth just mouth to plate? Or was he
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: picking it up with his hand?
• 11:54
  Speaker 2: Nigga, this is me in front of you, Tam. I'm
• 11:57
  Speaker 2: holding your plates. And I'm shaking my face?
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: No, nigga.
• 11:59
  Speaker 2: You got the fork. Like, you using my hands as
• 12:02
  Speaker 2: a table, basically. Oh.
• 12:04
  Speaker 1: So maybe he lost a bet or something like that.
• 12:06
  Speaker 2: I don't know. But why your wife recording that? I
• 12:08
  Speaker 2: know from that point, she don't love him.
• 12:10
  Speaker 1: That probably was just fun and games. Like, they were
• 12:13
  Speaker 1: just playing. It was probably just a good time. It
• 12:15
  Speaker 1: wasn't nothing serious.
• 12:16
  Speaker 2: I don't know about that.
• 12:17
  Speaker 1: And then- I think we read too much into shit
• 12:20
  Speaker 1: a lot of the time.
• 12:21
  Speaker 2: I don't know. Academics probably trying to get the heat
• 12:23
  Speaker 2: off of him because, you know, they stay saying he's
• 12:24
  Speaker 2: a goddamn peephole. I don't know. Even the videos they
• 12:30
  Speaker 2: brought up of him were from a long time ago.
• 12:32
  Speaker 2: He would have been 20 years old talking to young
• 12:34
  Speaker 2: 17-year-old girls and stuff like that. So, I don't know.
• 12:40
  Speaker 2: People bring shit up, but they don't look at the
• 12:42
  Speaker 2: time difference. Like, okay, now I'm 30, but I was
• 12:46
  Speaker 2: 20 then. Not defending academics because he really gets on
• 12:50
  Speaker 2: my nerve and I do want somebody to smack the
• 12:52
  Speaker 2: shit out of him. But yeah. What else? So look,
• 13:00
  Speaker 2: in Raleigh, North Carolina, some protesters have pulled up on
• 13:05
  Speaker 2: two different old folks home looking for Carolyn Bryant Donham.
• 13:12
  Speaker 2: This is the woman who accused Emmett Till of Looking
• 13:18
  Speaker 2: at her, basically.
• 13:20
  Speaker 1: And what they was going to go do? Beat her
• 13:22
  Speaker 1: up or something? Like, I don't know what they was
• 13:23
  Speaker 1: going to run up in there and do.
• 13:24
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so this woman is 80-something years old now. You know,
• 13:27
  Speaker 2: I would prefer for them to run up on the
• 13:29
  Speaker 2: men that were acquitted of actually murdering him. You know,
• 13:32
  Speaker 2: because they can't be recharged. Somebody got to still be alive.
• 13:36
  Speaker 2: They 82, shit. Right. But, oh, here's the thing. This
• 13:42
  Speaker 2: is the kicker. What happened was, recently... This happened after
• 13:48
  Speaker 2: an unserved warrant for her arrest, dated back to August 29th, 1955,
• 13:55
  Speaker 2: was discovered in a stashed box in the basement of
• 13:59
  Speaker 2: the Mississippi courthouse last month.
• 14:02
  Speaker 1: Yeah. So somebody hid her warrant. Yeah, so- And it
• 14:05
  Speaker 1: never got served.
• 14:06
  Speaker 2: Exactly.
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: Well, I just feel like if Bill Cosby can go
• 14:10
  Speaker 1: to jail, so can this bitch.
• 14:11
  Speaker 2: Absolutely. Absolutely. So can she.
• 14:13
  Speaker 1: Absolutely.
• 14:14
  Speaker 2: Absolutely.
• 14:15
  Speaker 1: But I don't know, running up in the old folks' home,
• 14:17
  Speaker 1: what y'all was going to do when y'all got there?
• 14:19
  Speaker 2: Catch a charge. Catch a charge. That's all them stupid
• 14:21
  Speaker 2: niggas was going to do is catch a charge.
• 14:24
  Speaker 1: Y'all didn't plan that out. Because what was the point?
• 14:29
  Speaker 1: What y'all going to jump on that old ass lady?
• 14:31
  Speaker 1: Y'all not going in there to do that.
• 14:34
  Speaker 2: Relax. Right. Stupid. Come up with the plan.
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: I mean, I understand why y'all upset, but plan that
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: shit out a little better than that.
• 14:44
  Speaker 2: That was worthless so that's our stupid internet news for
• 14:48
  Speaker 2: the day child y'all we gonna take a break we'll
• 14:51
  Speaker 2: be right back.
• 14:56
  Speaker 1: Okay guys we're back and I had this situation and
• 14:59
  Speaker 1: I wanted to like get your guys opinion and you
• 15:02
  Speaker 1: AJ on it so I was going out with this.
• 15:05
  Speaker 2: Guy and.
• 15:08
  Speaker 1: Anytime I didn't do anything that he wanted to do
• 15:12
  Speaker 1: he said that I was selfish. And I felt like
• 15:17
  Speaker 1: I was practicing self-care by doing the things that I
• 15:20
  Speaker 1: wanted to do for myself. So it made me consider, like,
• 15:24
  Speaker 1: what's the difference between selfish and self-care? And is there
• 15:27
  Speaker 1: a difference?
• 15:29
  Speaker 2: What do you think, AJ? Yeah, there's definitely a difference
• 15:34
  Speaker 2: between being selfish and practicing self-care. I think that One
• 15:41
  Speaker 2: of the major differences is you practicing self-care doesn't affect
• 15:45
  Speaker 2: anyone else. Okay? Okay. When you're being selfish towards somebody,
• 15:49
  Speaker 2: it usually causes, like, people some type of duress somehow. Right?
• 15:55
  Speaker 2: So you telling him no because it's better for your
• 15:58
  Speaker 2: mental health because no is a complete statement. The fuck? Like,
• 16:02
  Speaker 2: that's not you being selfish. Not to me anyway. But
• 16:06
  Speaker 2: let's look it up right quick. Hold on.
• 16:09
  Speaker 1: So if I don't want to drive to your house
• 16:11
  Speaker 1: in the middle of the night in a thunderstorm because
• 16:14
  Speaker 1: I'm scared to drive in the rain, that's not selfish, right?
• 16:17
  Speaker 2: Of course not. The fuck? Right. I hate when people
• 16:20
  Speaker 2: always ask me, well, I called you. Why didn't you answer?
• 16:23
  Speaker 2: You don't know what I was in the middle of doing.
• 16:24
  Speaker 2: That's self-care. Okay, I'm driving. Okay, I'll respond when I
• 16:28
  Speaker 2: get stationary. I might have even saw your message. That's
• 16:32
  Speaker 2: not me being selfish, though.
• 16:35
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 16:37
  Speaker 2: Okay, so being, like I said, it says, being selfish
• 16:40
  Speaker 2: means that there's a desire to take from others, often
• 16:44
  Speaker 2: to their detriment. However, self-care is about replenishing your resources
• 16:48
  Speaker 2: without depleting someone else's. Self-care is a means of restoring
• 16:53
  Speaker 2: your own energy, which promotes healthy, physical, and emotional well-being, okay?
• 16:58
  Speaker 2: In essence, self-care is about fulfilling yourself, excuse me, in essence,
• 17:04
  Speaker 2: self-care is about filling yourself up So you could be
• 17:07
  Speaker 2: the best spouse, parent, friend, employee, boss, and person that
• 17:10
  Speaker 2: you could be. Selfishness, on the other hand, reflects the
• 17:14
  Speaker 2: me first attitude, determining just how much you can get
• 17:21
  Speaker 2: for yourself, often at the expense of others. Okay.
• 17:28
  Speaker 1: So, all right, sometimes, based on that definition, sometimes I
• 17:33
  Speaker 1: can be selfish.
• 17:34
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 17:35
  Speaker 1: And then other times, it's self-care. But I don't think
• 17:39
  Speaker 1: me not wanting to drive to your house in a
• 17:42
  Speaker 1: thunderstorm is selfish. But then I was like, you drive
• 17:46
  Speaker 1: over here.
• 17:48
  Speaker 2: You're not scared. Did he come? Is that selfish? Mm-mm. Look,
• 17:57
  Speaker 2: somebody got to sacrifice. But if I'm always the one sacrificing,
• 18:01
  Speaker 2: you're selfish. Like, if I'm the one that's always making
• 18:05
  Speaker 2: the sacrifice to make a relationship or whatever situation shit work,
• 18:09
  Speaker 2: you're the selfish one, not me. And then the one
• 18:11
  Speaker 2: time I tell you, no, it's a problem. Right.
• 18:14
  Speaker 1: And then I'm selfish.
• 18:15
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Telling somebody they're selfish is almost a form of manipulation. Mm-hmm.
• 18:21
  Speaker 2: I agree. Big time. Like, people might consider me selfish,
• 18:26
  Speaker 2: but here's the thing about me is that I don't
• 18:28
  Speaker 2: fucking disturb people's peace. But a motherfucker do not mind
• 18:33
  Speaker 2: disturbing mine. Like, so I don't go out of my way, like,
• 18:38
  Speaker 2: let me say, let me rephrase this so I don't
• 18:41
  Speaker 2: sound fucked up. I don't require stuff out of people
• 18:45
  Speaker 2: because I don't want anybody requiring shit from me. I
• 18:48
  Speaker 2: swear to God. Like. It could be little simple things.
• 18:52
  Speaker 2: I have friends who I know their love language is
• 18:56
  Speaker 2: acts of service all the fucking time, and they don't
• 18:59
  Speaker 2: mind asking you to do shit. I never ask these
• 19:01
  Speaker 2: people to do shit for me, so why are you
• 19:04
  Speaker 2: always calling me to ask me to do something for you?
• 19:06
  Speaker 1: Is that selfish? Well, that's because that's their love language.
• 19:09
  Speaker 1: But do they speak to yours?
• 19:12
  Speaker 2: What is yours? I like acts of services too, but
• 19:16
  Speaker 2: I like people to offer. I'm not going to be
• 19:18
  Speaker 2: calling you, asking you to do anything. Do you see
• 19:20
  Speaker 2: the difference? I like people to offer their services. I
• 19:24
  Speaker 2: like gifts, stuff like that. I mean, I'm not expecting
• 19:27
  Speaker 2: that out of a homegirl or a family member, but yeah.
• 19:31
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I like gifts too, but I tend to speak
• 19:36
  Speaker 1: to people's, I don't speak to other people's love languages properly.
• 19:41
  Speaker 1: I speak to them in my love language. I like gifts,
• 19:45
  Speaker 1: so then I'm like, oh, I saw this thing. I'll
• 19:47
  Speaker 1: give you this thing. But that don't work for everybody.
• 19:50
  Speaker 1: you know like girl I don't give a fuck about
• 19:52
  Speaker 1: that book have you ever written in that gratitude book ever.
• 19:55
  Speaker 2: Once like no it's right here too this the productivity
• 19:57
  Speaker 2: planner right here look look in there empty not a
• 20:02
  Speaker 2: single word in there I ain't even wrote my fucking
• 20:03
  Speaker 2: name in there yet bitch look I'm gonna use this
• 20:06
  Speaker 2: book cause you know what I do realize is that
• 20:10
  Speaker 2: I need to write more. I need to write down
• 20:14
  Speaker 2: my plans, write down my goals. Like I'd be literally,
• 20:16
  Speaker 2: even just putting them in the phone to me is
• 20:18
  Speaker 2: not good enough. I feel like you got to write
• 20:20
  Speaker 2: it down to really manifest this stuff.
• 20:22
  Speaker 1: That's not actually the one I was talking about.
• 20:25
  Speaker 2: Oh, which other one?
• 20:27
  Speaker 1: I bought you a gratitude book.
• 20:29
  Speaker 2: You did. I did write in that book. Okay. I have.
• 20:32
  Speaker 2: That's why it's not in here. See, this is the
• 20:34
  Speaker 2: junk little area. Oh, this is the junk area. Okay.
• 20:38
  Speaker 2: With the shit I bought you. Sorry, my friend. I
• 20:43
  Speaker 2: realize it. But yeah, I don't like being inconvenienced. You know,
• 20:50
  Speaker 2: when I wake up in the morning, like I be
• 20:51
  Speaker 2: having like a plan for my day. Like I already
• 20:53
  Speaker 2: know what I want to do today. And if I
• 20:55
  Speaker 2: get like a call or a message and somebody like through,
• 20:57
  Speaker 2: even if it's something I already have planned to do
• 20:59
  Speaker 2: for somebody else, like I already got my shit I'm
• 21:01
  Speaker 2: doing for the day. So I feel like people could
• 21:04
  Speaker 2: just throw a monkey wrench in your whole shit and
• 21:06
  Speaker 2: I automatically get frustrated. I might even tell them, yeah,
• 21:10
  Speaker 2: but deep down inside, I don't want to do shit
• 21:12
  Speaker 2: for them because why didn't you tell me about this?
• 21:15
  Speaker 2: I don't know, in advance. I hate feeling rushed or
• 21:21
  Speaker 2: all of a sudden this is something that has to
• 21:22
  Speaker 2: be done today. I don't like that feeling. So I
• 21:25
  Speaker 2: don't do that to people because I don't like the feeling.
• 21:30
  Speaker 2: I will. I will do that.
• 21:32
  Speaker 1: To people. But that's because if the shoe was on
• 21:36
  Speaker 1: the other foot, I'm probably going to come running. Even
• 21:39
  Speaker 1: if I don't want to, I am, you know? So
• 21:41
  Speaker 1: when I need, I will ask. Only of people that
• 21:44
  Speaker 1: I know I would do the same for, though.
• 21:47
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 21:47
  Speaker 1: Not just random motherfuckers. Like, I got a message in
• 21:50
  Speaker 1: my Facebook messenger from somebody I've known for almost my
• 21:54
  Speaker 1: whole life. I've known them a long time, but I
• 21:56
  Speaker 1: wouldn't consider them friend or family. I've just known them.
• 21:59
  Speaker 1: And the message, I didn't open the message, but the
• 22:01
  Speaker 1: beginner said, Hey boo, I'm stuck at... It looked like
• 22:06
  Speaker 1: it said, I'm stuck at work or some shit like that.
• 22:08
  Speaker 1: I was like, bitch, I'm not opening that shit. I'm
• 22:14
  Speaker 1: not fucking opening that message. Because it looked like you
• 22:17
  Speaker 1: about to ask me for some shit. I ain't got it.
• 22:20
  Speaker 2: I ain't got it. That's funny as hell. See, now look,
• 22:27
  Speaker 2: you ain't even giving them the opportunity to fuck with
• 22:29
  Speaker 2: your damn date. That's different. But no, my mom be
• 22:34
  Speaker 2: calling me selfish sometimes. Now, my mom would do anything
• 22:37
  Speaker 2: for anybody, but she'll talk shit while doing it. Oh,
• 22:40
  Speaker 2: that's you too. No, no, no. Hold on. But why not? No. Why?
• 22:44
  Speaker 2: But guess what? That's probably because I told you yes
• 22:46
  Speaker 2: and I didn't want to. Right.
• 22:48
  Speaker 1: Mm hmm.
• 22:48
  Speaker 2: She won't talk shit to the person. She was like,
• 22:51
  Speaker 2: you know, call me to talk shit about it while
• 22:53
  Speaker 2: she doing it. But I'm like, why not just say no?
• 22:56
  Speaker 2: And then there's nothing to talk about. AJ, you do
• 22:59
  Speaker 2: the same thing. You do that. If I tell somebody yes,
• 23:02
  Speaker 2: I'm going to do it? Like what? Give me an example.
• 23:07
  Speaker 1: So you used to have that. So AJ is like
• 23:10
  Speaker 1: a really selfless person, y'all. But she had a homeless
• 23:13
  Speaker 1: woman living with her.
• 23:14
  Speaker 2: That is different.
• 23:16
  Speaker 1: That's not different, though. And you would complain about all
• 23:19
  Speaker 1: the shit you were doing.
• 23:20
  Speaker 2: Okay, imagine somebody living with you for 14 months. And like,
• 23:23
  Speaker 2: of course, I didn't complain about it initially. It's just
• 23:26
  Speaker 2: like once you start... You can't use that as an example.
• 23:30
  Speaker 2: It's a great example. That is not a good example.
• 23:33
  Speaker 1: You didn't have to have that woman living in your house.
• 23:36
  Speaker 2: Yes, I did.
• 23:38
  Speaker 1: I love that about you, though. I admire that about you,
• 23:42
  Speaker 1: but you complained about a lot of stuff she was.
• 23:44
  Speaker 2: Doing in there. Because it was fucking driving me nuts.
• 23:49
  Speaker 2: I don't think that's a good example because somebody being
• 23:51
  Speaker 2: in your fucking space, whether you invited them there or not,
• 23:54
  Speaker 2: I feel like, bitch, abide by my damn rules so
• 23:56
  Speaker 2: you can stay here. The things I was complaining about
• 24:00
  Speaker 2: because I was trying to, I needed her to help
• 24:03
  Speaker 2: me help her. Do you see what I'm saying? So
• 24:06
  Speaker 2: that's not the same thing. I don't think it is.
• 24:10
  Speaker 2: I don't think it is. I mean, like somebody said, hey,
• 24:14
  Speaker 2: could you give me a ride to such and such?
• 24:16
  Speaker 2: And you don't feel like doing it. And then the
• 24:17
  Speaker 2: whole time you talk a shit about having to do
• 24:20
  Speaker 2: it because you said yes. Why not say no if
• 24:22
  Speaker 2: it's going to bother your damn spirit that bad? You
• 24:24
  Speaker 2: know what I'm saying? Initially, when I moved her in
• 24:27
  Speaker 2: my house, it was not a problem. It wasn't a
• 24:29
  Speaker 2: problem until now I get to know this person. And
• 24:32
  Speaker 2: I see this is an elderly person who possibly has
• 24:35
  Speaker 2: mental health issues on top of that. But as a human,
• 24:39
  Speaker 2: which is why I don't think I'm fucking human, but
• 24:41
  Speaker 2: as a good person, I feel like that's what you're
• 24:44
  Speaker 2: supposed to do in this life. You're supposed to help people,
• 24:47
  Speaker 2: especially old people. It's just not fair. You're a baby twice, essentially.
• 24:51
  Speaker 2: I agree, but that was wild, though.
• 24:54
  Speaker 1: You took like, y'all, she literally took this woman in
• 24:57
  Speaker 1: off the corner of the street and let her live
• 24:59
  Speaker 1: with her.
• 25:00
  Speaker 2: She was actually at Gold's Gym. She had a silver
• 25:03
  Speaker 2: sneaker membership. She was still homeless. Yeah, and if I
• 25:09
  Speaker 2: got an empty room, why would I not let her
• 25:11
  Speaker 2: live there? If she was 30 years old, it would
• 25:13
  Speaker 2: never happen.
• 25:14
  Speaker 1: That's so godly of you.
• 25:15
  Speaker 2: I be trying to tell y'all motherfuckers I'm God, but
• 25:17
  Speaker 2: y'all don't be believing me. I don't think you God.
• 25:19
  Speaker 2: Calling me a ho tap.
• 25:22
  Speaker 1: They just call you a ho tap. Not a hotel.
• 25:26
  Speaker 2: But whole step. How about that? That was dope.
• 25:32
  Speaker 1: I don't even think like as much as I love
• 25:33
  Speaker 1: to help people, I don't know if I would have
• 25:35
  Speaker 1: been able to do that. So kudos to you for that.
• 25:38
  Speaker 1: But you used to complain every morning. We thank God
• 25:41
  Speaker 1: for the morning and then we complain about that bitch.
• 25:47
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I think she passed away, too, so I don't know. Oh, no. Yeah,
• 25:50
  Speaker 2: I think she passed away last year, maybe around this
• 25:52
  Speaker 2: time last year. And I've been trying to look for her, but,
• 25:57
  Speaker 2: you know, she was homeless. Maybe they didn't have the
• 25:59
  Speaker 2: proper paperwork to document her. I don't know, but I
• 26:05
  Speaker 2: haven't been able to find her. I done call every
• 26:06
  Speaker 2: damn hospital in Miami and Margate area, Fort Lauderdale area, too.
• 26:14
  Speaker 1: Well, you did your due diligence for her and you
• 26:17
  Speaker 1: did the best you could to help someone when you
• 26:19
  Speaker 1: would gain nothing.
• 26:20
  Speaker 2: Right. So that now this now here's the example. I
• 26:23
  Speaker 2: was selfish. I mean, selfless for allowing her to live
• 26:27
  Speaker 2: with me. Then she was selfish when she got up
• 26:29
  Speaker 2: in there. You know what I'm saying? She was like.
• 26:33
  Speaker 2: And me being able to talk shit to you about
• 26:36
  Speaker 2: what was going on was fucking self-care, bitch. Like, what
• 26:39
  Speaker 2: are we talking about? I talk shit for self-care, okay,
• 26:44
  Speaker 2: with anybody. Whoever going to listen, I'm going to talk shit.
• 26:50
  Speaker 1: Every morning, let me tell you, this bitch put her
• 26:52
  Speaker 1: mop head in my washing machine.
• 26:55
  Speaker 2: I remember that. Dog, look, she used to be trying
• 27:03
  Speaker 2: to help me, but I swear to God, she done
• 27:05
  Speaker 2: fucked up so many of my clothes. Fucked up so,
• 27:10
  Speaker 2: like she would bleach everything she get her hands on. Like,
• 27:14
  Speaker 2: this is color. Why would you, and who told you
• 27:16
  Speaker 2: to wash my shit?
• 27:18
  Speaker 1: And see, that's where I would be selfish because as
• 27:20
  Speaker 1: soon as you bleach one item of my motherfucking clothes,
• 27:23
  Speaker 1: I love my clothes, she be back in front of golds.
• 27:27
  Speaker 2: Right there. Bitch, you got to go. Is that self-care?
• 27:32
  Speaker 2: It would have been self-care if I had put her out, right? Yep.
• 27:36
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that motherfucker was driving me nuts.
• 27:38
  Speaker 2: You took her in for a long time. She was
• 27:40
  Speaker 2: driving me nuts.
• 27:42
  Speaker 1: I'm just trying to figure out, was you taking silver
• 27:44
  Speaker 1: sneakers classes?
• 27:45
  Speaker 2: Like, how did y'all even... That's where she took her
• 27:47
  Speaker 2: showers at and stuff. She lived, you know, at different
• 27:51
  Speaker 2: organizations around the city, but she would, you know... Spend
• 27:55
  Speaker 2: all day at the gym, essentially. Yep. So look, I
• 27:59
  Speaker 2: got a list. This is a list examples of selfless
• 28:03
  Speaker 2: versus self-care, right? So self-care, getting adequate nightly rest. Selfish
• 28:10
  Speaker 2: is sleeping excessively to avoid responsibilities. Self-care is enjoying a
• 28:16
  Speaker 2: break from work to fuel up with healthy foods. Selfish
• 28:20
  Speaker 2: is taking an unauthorized extended lunch on company time. How
• 28:25
  Speaker 2: many of y'all bitches is out there selfish? Self-care, creating
• 28:31
  Speaker 2: and enforcing healthy boundaries, which is what you were doing
• 28:33
  Speaker 2: with the guy, Tam, so fuck him. Selfish is saying
• 28:38
  Speaker 2: no to every request for help without a reason. Self-care,
• 28:43
  Speaker 2: making time for relaxation and meditation. Selfish is isolating and
• 28:47
  Speaker 2: ignoring your loved ones. Self-care, buying ingredients to cook your
• 28:52
  Speaker 2: favorite recipe. Selfish is spending your family's savings on unnecessary items. Look,
• 28:58
  Speaker 2: that last one brings me to some shit I just
• 29:00
  Speaker 2: saw on social media. So it's a story where this
• 29:05
  Speaker 2: lady wrote into this radio station and she said that,
• 29:12
  Speaker 2: you know, she makes... substantially more money than her husband, right?
• 29:18
  Speaker 2: But he wants to buy himself a Range Rover off
• 29:21
  Speaker 2: of their collective salaries. And she was asking if he
• 29:25
  Speaker 2: should allow her. I feel it's selfish for him to
• 29:27
  Speaker 2: even ask her or even think he can go buy
• 29:30
  Speaker 2: a Range Rover.
• 29:32
  Speaker 1: Why?
• 29:34
  Speaker 2: She makes more money than him. That's why.
• 29:36
  Speaker 1: But if it was the other way around and she
• 29:39
  Speaker 1: wanted a Range Rover, would you feel the same way?
• 29:43
  Speaker 2: No. The fuck? Look, period. That's not right. Period. No,
• 29:49
  Speaker 2: hell no. He needs to get his fucking money up.
• 29:51
  Speaker 2: I agree.
• 29:53
  Speaker 1: But when you get into that marriage.
• 29:57
  Speaker 1: What's good for the goose is good for the gander
• 29:59
  Speaker 1: or whatever the fuck they're saying.
• 30:00
  Speaker 2: They a lie. They a damn lie.
• 30:02
  Speaker 1: Because if I'm with a man and he makes... All right.
• 30:08
  Speaker 1: So I'm going to make my own money.
• 30:09
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 30:09
  Speaker 1: And I drive a Range Rover now off of my
• 30:11
  Speaker 1: own dime. But if I was in a situation where
• 30:14
  Speaker 1: I was with a man and he made more than me,
• 30:17
  Speaker 1: then I want a fucking G-Wagon. I already got a
• 30:20
  Speaker 1: Range Rover.
• 30:20
  Speaker 2: Right. But do you think that more often the women
• 30:26
  Speaker 2: is probably taking his pockets into consideration, especially if this
• 30:29
  Speaker 2: your husband? This ain't your sugar daddy. It's your husband.
• 30:31
  Speaker 2: He makes more money than you. Women oftentimes do the finances.
• 30:35
  Speaker 2: Unless it's somebody who owns a big ass company and
• 30:38
  Speaker 2: he has people doing that type of shit. But you
• 30:41
  Speaker 2: guys have been making money together, right? I feel like
• 30:44
  Speaker 2: a wife is not going to get some shit that
• 30:47
  Speaker 2: the family can't afford to do. Right. You know what
• 30:50
  Speaker 2: I'm saying? So you want to go out and get
• 30:53
  Speaker 2: a Range Rover to look like what for who? You
• 30:56
  Speaker 2: need to get the type of car you can afford.
• 31:00
  Speaker 1: My last boyfriend... This is in my 20s. And I mean,
• 31:04
  Speaker 1: we didn't have a lot.
• 31:06
  Speaker 2: Neither one of us.
• 31:06
  Speaker 1: He was military and he wasn't high ranking.
• 31:09
  Speaker 2: And I didn't.
• 31:10
  Speaker 1: We just moved to Florida and I was pretty much unemployed.
• 31:14
  Speaker 1: So the money was scarce. And then we would have
• 31:17
  Speaker 1: his two kids for the summer. So we had to
• 31:19
  Speaker 1: make just his military salary stretch. Right. So he wants
• 31:23
  Speaker 1: to go out and get this goddamn job. It was the,
• 31:27
  Speaker 1: not the year, that year, I think it was like
• 31:29
  Speaker 1: 2010 or something like that, up 12. He wanted to
• 31:34
  Speaker 1: get a 2013 Jeep Sahara, which I love that truck, right?
• 31:40
  Speaker 1: But I just felt like it was outside of what
• 31:44
  Speaker 1: our money, which was his money at the time, could afford.
• 31:49
  Speaker 2: Could afford.
• 31:50
  Speaker 1: And I was so against it. And I had a
• 31:53
  Speaker 1: conversation with his mom, and she just told me to
• 31:55
  Speaker 1: let him be a man and let him do what
• 31:57
  Speaker 1: he going to do. And then we struggled because of
• 31:59
  Speaker 1: that car. We struggled because that car payment was outside
• 32:02
  Speaker 1: of our finances, which is his finances at the time,
• 32:08
  Speaker 1: because I wasn't working. And then he was like, go
• 32:11
  Speaker 1: get a job at Walmart. Nigga, I got a degree.
• 32:14
  Speaker 1: I was like, you are not going to reduce me
• 32:16
  Speaker 1: to the Walmart bitch. I'm going to go get a job. Listen,
• 32:20
  Speaker 1: no shade to people who work at Walmart because I
• 32:22
  Speaker 1: don't want to make it seem like that's beneath me
• 32:24
  Speaker 1: or anything because I have worked at Walmart before. But
• 32:27
  Speaker 1: at that current stage in my life, I just didn't
• 32:29
  Speaker 1: feel like that's what I needed to be doing. I
• 32:31
  Speaker 1: can contribute in other ways when I find a job,
• 32:36
  Speaker 1: but I'm not just going to go work at Walmart. Yeah,
• 32:40
  Speaker 1: because now we're we're fucking broke because you got this
• 32:44
  Speaker 1: expensive-ass truck that I asked you not to get.
• 32:47
  Speaker 2: Right. Was I wrong?
• 32:49
  Speaker 1: Was I selfish to not go work at Walmart?
• 32:53
  Speaker 2: No. He didn't need that vehicle. Did he need that
• 32:56
  Speaker 2: new truck?
• 32:57
  Speaker 1: No.
• 32:57
  Speaker 2: Yeah. He didn't need it. So he went and did
• 32:59
  Speaker 2: what he wanted to do because, really, he wasn't taking
• 33:01
  Speaker 2: you into consideration with the relationship. Honestly. He was like,
• 33:05
  Speaker 2: I'm making the money. That's my money. Bitch, you need... Like,
• 33:08
  Speaker 2: in some way, somehow, I'm pretty sure it started... To
• 33:12
  Speaker 2: take care of this fucking truck, you wasn't being taken
• 33:14
  Speaker 2: care of at some point. So it's like, now, bitch,
• 33:16
  Speaker 2: go get a job so you can figure it out
• 33:18
  Speaker 2: for yourself.
• 33:20
  Speaker 1: And the crazy part was, all right, so I had
• 33:23
  Speaker 1: just moved from Europe with him. And I made like...
• 33:26
  Speaker 1: When I was there, I was making a lot of
• 33:28
  Speaker 1: money doing hair in a salon there. And obviously, you
• 33:30
  Speaker 1: have to build your.
• 33:32
  Speaker 2: Like, when you go to a new city, you got
• 33:33
  Speaker 2: to start over.
• 33:34
  Speaker 1: You know?
• 33:34
  Speaker 2: You're not going to be like... So.
• 33:37
  Speaker 1: When I was making all that money, everything was good
• 33:39
  Speaker 1: because I could contribute so much more. But as soon
• 33:43
  Speaker 1: as I move with you, the only reason I'm leaving
• 33:45
  Speaker 1: is because of you. I'm moving because you got stationed
• 33:48
  Speaker 1: to a new place and I'm going with you. And
• 33:49
  Speaker 1: now you're treating me like a poop-foot ass bitch who
• 33:51
  Speaker 1: ain't got shit.
• 33:52
  Speaker 2: And I'm like, how dare you? And you see that
• 33:56
  Speaker 2: a lot of times in relationships. It's almost like, are
• 33:58
  Speaker 2: you my man or is it competition? You know what
• 34:01
  Speaker 2: I'm saying? Because I left because of the relationship, right?
• 34:04
  Speaker 2: My comfort zone. And now you have me in this
• 34:07
  Speaker 2: vulnerable state of really not being able to take care
• 34:10
  Speaker 2: of myself initially. And now you're trying to shit on me.
• 34:14
  Speaker 1: And want me to go work at Walmart.
• 34:16
  Speaker 2: Right. And that's why I don't suggest women to struggle
• 34:19
  Speaker 2: with men. Because that motherfucker ain't looking back once he
• 34:22
  Speaker 2: get his shit together, dog. He ain't looking back. He
• 34:25
  Speaker 2: ain't looking back. Look, man, try to get a nigga
• 34:28
  Speaker 2: as whole as possible. Because they don't like the women
• 34:31
  Speaker 2: that saw them fucked up. They don't like it. Mm-hmm.
• 34:35
  Speaker 2: That's why they don't like their first baby mamas. Sometimes. Girl,
• 34:39
  Speaker 2: a lot of times. Sometimes, nigga.
• 34:40
  Speaker 1: Look at- Kanye told y'all. LeBron and Savannah, see? I
• 34:45
  Speaker 1: don't think they ever struggled, though. Sorry, they don't count.
• 34:48
  Speaker 1: They went straight from high school to rich.
• 34:50
  Speaker 2: Exactly. Shit, like- Exactly. And they probably struggled with other shit,
• 34:56
  Speaker 2: you know, because I done heard about LeBron, Ron. the
• 35:01
  Speaker 2: son right now acting out what daddy really like you
• 35:06
  Speaker 2: know cause they say he got like a little white
• 35:07
  Speaker 2: girl fetish.
• 35:09
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah they do say that I love me some
• 35:11
  Speaker 1: LeBron and Savannah I would love to be like their
• 35:14
  Speaker 1: girlfriend them both of them I love Savannah I might
• 35:20
  Speaker 1: love Savannah more than like LeBron honestly but yeah look
• 35:27
  Speaker 1: how I got off at attention anyways.
• 35:30
  Speaker 2: Me and that nigga broke up in the store. Let's
• 35:34
  Speaker 2: go to break, bitch. We'll be right back. All right, y'all.
• 35:40
  Speaker 2: So look, just to wrap up our little brief conversation today,
• 35:43
  Speaker 2: it is not selfish of you to practice self-care. I
• 35:50
  Speaker 2: want everybody, every woman especially, to know that no is
• 35:54
  Speaker 2: a complete statement. And if somebody tries to make you
• 35:57
  Speaker 2: feel bad about Saying no when it's going to cause
• 36:01
  Speaker 2: you fucking stress. Fuck them. And anguish. Yeah. It's not
• 36:09
  Speaker 2: selfish now. If you... Hold on. I sent you another post, bitch.
• 36:15
  Speaker 2: With this girl basically being a goddamn chatty patty, essentially.
• 36:22
  Speaker 2: Being a pick Misha. Saying, men, here are some... Top
• 36:28
  Speaker 2: signs to let you know what you're being used by. Oh,
• 36:33
  Speaker 2: excuse me. Here are some top signs to let you
• 36:34
  Speaker 2: know you're being used by her. So she goes on
• 36:37
  Speaker 2: to talk about like, you know, she makes you pay
• 36:40
  Speaker 2: for everything. What? It's some men that won't let you
• 36:44
  Speaker 2: go on your purse. You know, maybe she's never experienced
• 36:48
  Speaker 2: that type of man. So I'll give her some pass.
• 36:51
  Speaker 2: You know, maybe she's had to pay for some meals. Yeah.
• 36:53
  Speaker 1: I have a lot of men who'll be like offended
• 36:55
  Speaker 1: when I try to pay for shit.
• 36:56
  Speaker 2: Yes. I had a dude told me like, you trying
• 36:58
  Speaker 2: to cut my balls off? I'm like, what? Like, I
• 37:01
  Speaker 2: just don't want you. Because we see the guys out
• 37:03
  Speaker 2: here get mad because they took a woman out and
• 37:05
  Speaker 2: they're not getting pussy. And I want to have an
• 37:07
  Speaker 2: episode about that, but I need a man on. Like,
• 37:09
  Speaker 2: we need a guy on so we can talk about that.
• 37:13
  Speaker 2: But yeah, I have definitely paid for a meal just
• 37:15
  Speaker 2: so a nigga wouldn't feel like, or offered at least.
• 37:20
  Speaker 2: So you don't feel like I owe you shit. Right.
• 37:23
  Speaker 1: And I don't mind paying for some food.
• 37:25
  Speaker 2: Like, what the fuck?
• 37:26
  Speaker 1: It's a little meal. I'll pay for that.
• 37:28
  Speaker 2: Yeah. So she says that's a red flag that a
• 37:32
  Speaker 2: lot of dudes ignore when a woman makes them pay
• 37:35
  Speaker 2: for everything.
• 37:36
  Speaker 1: But let's say you're dating someone who ain't got shit.
• 37:41
  Speaker 1: Then what?
• 37:42
  Speaker 2: And men like women who don't got shit.
• 37:45
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 37:47
  Speaker 2: Women be liking niggas when they got shit too sometimes.
• 37:50
  Speaker 1: Opposites attract her. Like, they need someone to fix. I
• 37:54
  Speaker 1: have a friend who only dates fixer-upper-ass niggas.
• 37:58
  Speaker 2: Nah, she got a problem. She got mental health issues.
• 38:02
  Speaker 1: What is it called when you're like a savior, a
• 38:05
  Speaker 1: savior complex? She just needs to be the savior all
• 38:09
  Speaker 1: the time. Like, girl, why you keep picking up these
• 38:12
  Speaker 1: niggas off the side.
• 38:12
  Speaker 2: Of the road? I guess those type of people are necessary.
• 38:15
  Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying? Like, to help those men
• 38:18
  Speaker 2: get they shit together. But, nah. Nah, nah, nah.
• 38:24
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 38:25
  Speaker 2: And you know, we never talked about that. I think
• 38:28
  Speaker 2: it was a podcast where the girl was saying how
• 38:30
  Speaker 2: men go get fat women when they ain't on they shit.
• 38:35
  Speaker 2: What do you think about that?
• 38:37
  Speaker 1: I don't know, because I know a lot of swaggy-ass
• 38:40
  Speaker 1: fat girls.
• 38:40
  Speaker 2: Me too. And them bitches be smelling good. The fuck?
• 38:43
  Speaker 1: Smell good, swaggy, beautiful, and still your nigga today.
• 38:47
  Speaker 2: Exactly.
• 38:48
  Speaker 1: Take your nigga right out your pocket.
• 38:49
  Speaker 2: And look, I can be honest and say, listen, I
• 38:52
  Speaker 2: was with a nigga who only cheated with super fat,
• 38:54
  Speaker 2: pretty bitches. And it got to the point to where
• 38:57
  Speaker 2: when I would see a cute, light-skinned, fat bitch, I
• 39:01
  Speaker 2: would be side-eyeing her, because I knew deep down inside,
• 39:05
  Speaker 2: if my nigga saw this bitch, he's going to be
• 39:06
  Speaker 2: trying to fuck. And it bothered me that I knew
• 39:10
  Speaker 2: this nigga's type. Was these big ass, light-skinned, pretty bitches.
• 39:19
  Speaker 2: And I mean like 250, 270. Oh, beautiful, squishy ass. Yes,
• 39:24
  Speaker 2: he call them bitches love seats. Damn it. Big old
• 39:31
  Speaker 2: love seat type bitch. Yeah, them bitches be looking nice.
• 39:34
  Speaker 2: The fuck is this bitch talking about? Obviously, a big
• 39:37
  Speaker 2: bitch stole her man. That's all it is. Right.
• 39:39
  Speaker 1: And she was intimidated. Anytime you're intimidated by some shit,
• 39:43
  Speaker 1: you want to try to downplay it. Make it seem
• 39:45
  Speaker 1: like it ain't all that. But girl, you know what
• 39:47
  Speaker 1: time it is. She done stole your nigga. Cooked him
• 39:50
  Speaker 1: a good meal and fucked the shit out of him.
• 39:53
  Speaker 2: Right. Now that pussy be extra wet. All the sweat
• 39:56
  Speaker 2: and coochie juice. Like, what? That shit probably be juicy. See?
• 40:03
  Speaker 2: Call that bitch hot. All right.
• 40:06
  Speaker 1: All right, so I have a dumb bitch story for y'all.
• 40:09
  Speaker 2: Dumb bitch story?
• 40:11
  Speaker 1: You are so dumb. Because we've all been a dumb
• 40:13
  Speaker 1: bitch at least once or twice. This actually was sent
• 40:17
  Speaker 1: to me on Instagram.
• 40:18
  Speaker 2: Can I say who sent it to me?
• 40:19
  Speaker 1: I guess one of our growth followers, Hoochie Poppy sent
• 40:24
  Speaker 1: us this. Okay, so I'm going to read it to y'all.
• 40:28
  Speaker 1: And it's actually on Spiritual Word. 12 years ago, This
• 40:34
  Speaker 1: nigga took my car while I was at work to
• 40:36
  Speaker 1: go pick up another bitch. After dropping her off, my
• 40:39
  Speaker 1: tire blew and he crashed my car into a light
• 40:42
  Speaker 1: post on Central Ave and died in my car. I
• 40:47
  Speaker 1: didn't find out the whole story till a friend of
• 40:49
  Speaker 1: a friend told me it was one of her clients
• 40:51
  Speaker 1: who he went to go see. And it was confirmed
• 40:54
  Speaker 1: when I went to get my car out of impound
• 40:56
  Speaker 1: and found her bank card in my total car along
• 41:00
  Speaker 1: with one of his shoes that came off during impound.
• 41:03
  Speaker 2: Damn, that's wild. That's terrible.
• 41:05
  Speaker 1: Also found out he used my social security number to
• 41:08
  Speaker 1: file taxes on the state of Georgia and got 10K back.
• 41:12
  Speaker 1: And now every time I file taxes, I have to
• 41:14
  Speaker 1: have a PIN number mailed to me for the rest
• 41:17
  Speaker 1: of my life. But RIP to him. Moral of the story,
• 41:21
  Speaker 1: don't be a dumb bitch. No matter how good the
• 41:23
  Speaker 1: sex is, you might save a life. Also, karma is
• 41:26
  Speaker 1: a bitch. He didn't die alone, though. Where he crashed
• 41:30
  Speaker 1: was right next to a house that just so happened
• 41:32
  Speaker 1: to be my co-worker's house, and they saw my work
• 41:35
  Speaker 1: vest in the car, and thinking he was an employee,
• 41:37
  Speaker 1: he held his hand until he passed, waiting for EMT.
• 41:41
  Speaker 1: This was 12 years ago. I healed as much as
• 41:43
  Speaker 1: I could from the situation, but ever so often, I
• 41:46
  Speaker 1: get reminders of this situation, especially during tax season. Plus
• 41:52
  Speaker 1: side is, I grieved so bad during this time, I
• 41:55
  Speaker 1: lost like 30 pounds that I was struggling to get
• 41:58
  Speaker 1: rid of, too. Last part and I'm done. He crashed
• 42:02
  Speaker 1: on Citroen Avenue and Crown Street. I was living on
• 42:05
  Speaker 1: Addison Road in Crown. I was blowing his phone up
• 42:09
  Speaker 1: because he didn't come get me. I remember getting home
• 42:11
  Speaker 1: and hearing the ambulance and fire truck, but didn't find
• 42:14
  Speaker 1: out that was him because I didn't find out that
• 42:17
  Speaker 1: was because of him till the next morning.
• 42:20
  Speaker 2: The end. Shame. Shame. Hold on.
• 42:25
  Speaker 1: It says, okay, to be very clear, he was not
• 42:27
  Speaker 1: my boyfriend. We were FWB, friends with benefits. He thought
• 42:32
  Speaker 1: my name was Shante up until a month before he passed.
• 42:38
  Speaker 2: What? Wait.
• 42:39
  Speaker 1: I eventually did tell him my real name so y'all
• 42:43
  Speaker 1: can stop saying he died cheating.
• 42:45
  Speaker 2: He died being disrespectful. Okay. Damn. But hold on.
• 42:51
  Speaker 1: First of all, both of y'all was fucked up.
• 42:53
  Speaker 2: Yes, and how was he filing taxes in your name
• 42:55
  Speaker 2: and he don't even know your fucking name, bitch. He
• 42:58
  Speaker 2: had her social. Right, but you have to put a
• 43:01
  Speaker 2: name on the tax form or it'd be mismatched.
• 43:05
  Speaker 1: He knew that bitch was lying about her name.
• 43:07
  Speaker 2: Oh, right.
• 43:10
  Speaker 1: He's like, I got something for this lying ass bitch.
• 43:15
  Speaker 1: I'm about to get some money off of you and
• 43:16
  Speaker 1: I'm going to be picking up my other.
• 43:17
  Speaker 2: Hoes with your car that's a sad story.
• 43:20
  Speaker 1: It is because the man did pass away I mean
• 43:22
  Speaker 1: we cracking jokes and shit but it is kind of
• 43:24
  Speaker 1: sad like he died young you know.
• 43:27
  Speaker 2: And cheating in her car well maybe he wasn't cheating
• 43:31
  Speaker 2: whatever you call it he was using her car yeah
• 43:34
  Speaker 2: to pick up other women or go see other women.
• 43:37
  Speaker 1: That's cheating to me yeah don't use my car right.
• 43:43
  Speaker 2: For that. Stop fucking with men who don't got no car, Louise.
• 43:46
  Speaker 2: What the hell? Right. At least. At least.
• 43:51
  Speaker 1: Jeez, Louise.
• 43:52
  Speaker 2: At the bare minimum. That is a dumb bitch story. Yeah,
• 43:56
  Speaker 2: it is. For the books. Poor thing. I know. The
• 43:59
  Speaker 2: nigga died, man. She probably was having to walk to work.
• 44:01
  Speaker 2: That's why her ass lost some damn 30 pounds. Mm-hmm.
• 44:04
  Speaker 1: She ain't have no car.
• 44:06
  Speaker 2: No dick. The dick in the dirt. Ooh, AJ.
• 44:11
  Speaker 1: Ooh, that's burn.
• 44:13
  Speaker 2: That's cold. Look, let me tell y'all. You know what?
• 44:19
  Speaker 1: We gonna get another fucking review.
• 44:20
  Speaker 2: Talk about AJ.
• 44:21
  Speaker 1: Like, AJ is always saying shit that's just, they just
• 44:25
  Speaker 1: make fun of every fucking thing. Everything is not a
• 44:28
  Speaker 1: fucking joke.
• 44:29
  Speaker 2: Like, first of all, I'm not like, death isn't sad
• 44:32
  Speaker 2: to me. I'm not afraid of dying. People need to
• 44:35
  Speaker 2: get over that shit. And maybe it's just a different
• 44:37
  Speaker 2: life cycle I'm in. But the fuck? You're going to die.
• 44:40
  Speaker 2: Everybody going to get the fuck up out of here
• 44:42
  Speaker 2: at some point. You just don't know how or when.
• 44:44
  Speaker 2: But you're going to get the fuck up out of here.
• 44:45
  Speaker 2: That's one thing for sure. And we don't know what
• 44:48
  Speaker 2: it's like on the other side. The shit might be
• 44:50
  Speaker 2: fucking lit. You know? Right. Just get your shit together
• 44:54
  Speaker 2: while you're here. It's okay. It ain't no sins in
• 44:57
  Speaker 2: the Bible about tripping off people dying.
• 44:59
  Speaker 1: Like, what the fuck?
• 45:03
  Speaker 2: The hell? Why I got that dick? One of my
• 45:06
  Speaker 2: exes used to always tell me, man, you always putting
• 45:08
  Speaker 2: my dick in the dirt. Like when I would argue
• 45:10
  Speaker 2: with him about whole shit he was doing. You always
• 45:12
  Speaker 2: putting my dick in the dirt. Yeah, because your dick
• 45:14
  Speaker 2: stay in the dirt. Literally.
• 45:16
  Speaker 1: Because it's dirty dick.
• 45:17
  Speaker 2: Yes. Nasty ass.
• 45:21
  Speaker 1: But I never heard nobody say dick in the dirt
• 45:23
  Speaker 1: as it applies to being buried.
• 45:25
  Speaker 2: No, okay. There's one other person. So this is so
• 45:28
  Speaker 2: fucking stupid. This is wild. So one of my friends,
• 45:31
  Speaker 2: she had this guy she used to fuck with. And
• 45:34
  Speaker 2: they used to fuck with each other for years and years,
• 45:36
  Speaker 2: like off and on, you know, from teenage to adulthood.
• 45:39
  Speaker 2: And this is when we were living in fucking Columbia.
• 45:42
  Speaker 2: This is one of my best friends. But she was
• 45:44
  Speaker 2: just telling me about this nigga dick. Look, some other
• 45:47
  Speaker 2: Uber Meets type shit. So, like, I go over to
• 45:51
  Speaker 2: her house while he's there. And it's like, I don't know.
• 45:55
  Speaker 2: Was I supposed to fuck? I don't know. But it's like.
• 45:58
  Speaker 2: The nigga was fine as hell. And she done had
• 46:00
  Speaker 2: shown me pictures of this beautiful, beautiful, beautiful penis. And
• 46:05
  Speaker 2: he had like a nice little mole on it. Like
• 46:07
  Speaker 2: just this beautiful dick, dog. But it's like, I don't
• 46:11
  Speaker 2: really want to fuck after my friend like that. Like not,
• 46:13
  Speaker 2: I don't know why. I don't know why I didn't
• 46:15
  Speaker 2: do anything. But anyway, we was trying to set it
• 46:17
  Speaker 2: up to fuck the dude, but it just didn't happen.
• 46:20
  Speaker 2: But anyway, some years later, like he ended up dying
• 46:23
  Speaker 2: of some type of cancer. And I was like, yo,
• 46:24
  Speaker 2: that fucking beautiful dick is in the dirt. Beautiful, big,
• 46:30
  Speaker 2: juicy hamburger is in the dirt.
• 46:33
  Speaker 1: There's a lot of beautiful dicks in the dirt, girl.
• 46:35
  Speaker 2: I know. I hate to.
• 46:39
  Speaker 1: Tell you.
• 46:40
  Speaker 2: Y'all listen, we got a motherfucking live show coming up, y'all.
• 46:44
  Speaker 2: First ever. So listen, Black Effect is having a live show.
• 46:48
  Speaker 2: This is the first annual live. A podcast festival in Brooklyn,
• 46:53
  Speaker 2: New York, y'all, on the 28th of August. Okay. Yeah,
• 46:58
  Speaker 2: we're going to be on stage. Yes, y'all. We have
• 47:02
  Speaker 2: never done a live show before, so we're putting together
• 47:05
  Speaker 2: something super fly.
• 47:06
  Speaker 1: It's super fun.
• 47:08
  Speaker 2: Yep.
• 47:09
  Speaker 1: So y'all can participate with us. It's going to be lit.
• 47:11
  Speaker 1: I'm so excited.
• 47:12
  Speaker 2: Yep.
• 47:13
  Speaker 1: Be back in New York.
• 47:14
  Speaker 2: It's at the Brooklyn Mirage. Okay. Okay. Yep.
• 47:20
  Speaker 1: So y'all pull up. August 28th. You can buy your
• 47:22
  Speaker 1: tickets now. Where are they on sale at?
• 47:25
  Speaker 2: I guess everywhere.
• 47:27
  Speaker 1: Look. Yeah, go to Black Effect. You can find out
• 47:30
  Speaker 1: where to purchase your tickets and come see us. We
• 47:34
  Speaker 1: love y'all. I can't wait to tell y'all I love
• 47:36
  Speaker 1: y'all in person.
• 47:38
  Speaker 2: Yep. It's blackeffect.com slash podfest. P-O-D-F-E-S-T. F-E-S-T. All right. So
• 47:46
  Speaker 2: pull up.
• 47:48
  Speaker 1: I'm on a diet so I can look real fine
• 47:50
  Speaker 1: when y'all see me, but I did just eat a
• 47:53
  Speaker 1: piece of cake that one of my homegirls left over here.
• 47:57
  Speaker 2: I'm like, bitch, wait, is that cake? I know, but
• 48:00
  Speaker 2: I wouldn't have ate it if it wasn't in my house,
• 48:03
  Speaker 2: you know? The fuck?
• 48:05
  Speaker 1: Bitch is leaving good food here.
• 48:06
  Speaker 2: So it's her fault?
• 48:08
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's absolutely her fault. Where's the self-control? The self-control
• 48:13
  Speaker 1: is not bringing shit like that in here, okay?
• 48:18
  Speaker 2: Bitch, I be struggling, man. I ain't much to lie.
• 48:22
  Speaker 2: I be struggling with the sweets, girl, but I haven't
• 48:25
  Speaker 2: had any. I did have some sweet ass onion rings yesterday.
• 48:28
  Speaker 2: That's about it. But I haven't had some fucking cake
• 48:33
  Speaker 2: or fresh baked good. I like fresh baked cookies and
• 48:37
  Speaker 2: shit like that. No packaged shit. Nothing from the middle
• 48:40
  Speaker 2: of the grocery store. I'm going to get all fresh
• 48:42
  Speaker 2: baked bullshit. But I've been doing good with my dad.
• 48:46
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you be eating that football thing. I saw it
• 48:48
  Speaker 1: on TV one day, and I was like, my co-hosts
• 48:51
  Speaker 1: like them things.
• 48:52
  Speaker 2: I haven't had that, because I haven't been back to Charlotte.
• 48:54
  Speaker 2: I haven't had any. And I can't find a good
• 48:57
  Speaker 2: Asian bakery down here. I know. Anyway, y'all, listen. If
• 49:06
  Speaker 2: you enjoyed this episode, please tune in every Thursday on
• 49:09
  Speaker 2: the iHeartRadio app or wherever the fuck you get your
• 49:11
  Speaker 2: podcast at. This is your co-host, AJ Holiday 2.0. Follow
• 49:15
  Speaker 2: me on Instagram. Y'all follow us on Twitter. Okay, as
• 49:18
  Speaker 2: we talk back podcast, we're going to try to start
• 49:20
  Speaker 2: tweeting and shit like that more just so we can
• 49:23
  Speaker 2: stay engaged with our listeners because we really appreciate you guys.
• 49:28
  Speaker 1: We love y'all. Follow me, y'all. It's Official Tam Bam
• 49:32
  Speaker 1: on Instagram. Come tell me happy birthday on Saturday. Under
• 49:37
  Speaker 1: my post and post me on your page, bitch.
• 49:40
  Speaker 2: I love y'all. See y'all later.
• 49:42
  Speaker 1: Oh, remember to speak now.
• 49:45
  Speaker 2: And never hold your peace, my nigga. My nigga. Bye. Bye.