Latest / UNMASKED with Wesley Farnsworth / Ep 29 - Brotherhood of Battle: Why You Can’t Fight Alone

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Ep 29 - Brotherhood of Battle: Why You Can’t Fight Alone · UNMASKED with Wesley Farnsworth

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  Picture this with me. A soldier stands on a
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  battlefield, armored, dented, exhausted, and outnumbered.
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  He's talented, skilled, strong, and he knows every tactic, every
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  maneuver, every survival instinct.
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  But he's alone. And no matter how strong he is,
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  no matter how trained he is, no matter how disciplined, a
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  soldier standing alone is a soldier who won't survive long.
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  Now imagine something changes. He hears footsteps behind him,
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  not enemies, but allies, men or women who lock Shields with his,
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  who can cover the angles that he can't see, who shout warnings
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  that he can't hear, who fight beside him when the attack gets
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  heavy, who refused to leave him behind, and who's who say with
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  their presence. You may be tired, but you're not
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  alone. Not today, not ever.
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  That, right there, is what today's episode is all about.
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  Because some battles were never meant to be fought solo.
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  Some fights require something deeper than skill or strength.
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  They require brotherhood. They require sisterhood.
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  They require community in the trenches.
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  Welcome back to Unmasked, the podcast where we strip away the
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  illusions of isolation and talk honestly about what it means to
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  walk with God, with purpose, and with each other.
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  I'm your host, Wesley Farnsworth, and and this episode
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  is part three of our series, The Power of Community.
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  And today's episode is titled and today's episode is titled
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  Brotherhood of Battle. Why You Can't Fight Alone.
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  This is the episode where we shift from safe spaces, the
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  places that comfort us, to battle spaces, the places where
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  we grow, fight, and overcome. Because healing is one thing,
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  transformation is another. But overcoming that requires
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  A-Team. So let's get into it.
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  Let's start with something simple, but incredibly true.
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  You don't need a crowd. You need a crew.
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  A crowd watches you, but a crew carry you.
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  A crowd applause to you, but a crew challenges you.
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  A crowd sees your highlight reel, but a crew sees your
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  battles. Crowd can admire you, but a crew
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  can fight with you. And if life is a battle, which
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  it absolutely is, then you don't want to win battles with
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  applause. You want to win them with
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  allies. The greatest victories in
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  Scripture were rarely early solitary events.
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  David had Jonathan, Moses had Aaron and her, Paul had Timothy,
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  Silas, Barnabas, Luke, Priscilla, Aquila.
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  Jesus had the 12, and even within that, he had three.
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  Anyone who tries to fight alone eventually falls alone.
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  So let's just be direct here for a moment.
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  Isolation doesn't just make you lonely, it makes you vulnerable
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  in in nature, predators never attacked the herd, they target
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  the one who gets separated. You may feel strong, you may
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  feel self-sufficient, you may feel like you have got the right
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  tools and the right willpower. But hear me, you can be
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  spiritually armed and still emotionally outnumbered.
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  No one, and I mean no one is strong enough for every battle
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  alone. There are moments in your life
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  when you will need someone to say, hey, I see that attack
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  coming and I'm not going to let you take it alone.
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  You will need somebody to link arms with you.
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  There have been seasons in my life when I thought I could push
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  through by myself, Seasons where I carried burdens quietly, where
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  I thought battles internally, when I tried to muscle through
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  the pain alone. But then God brought people into
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  my life, brothers, mentors, friends, not to replace him, but
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  to represent him. There were men who saw me
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  fighting and saw the fight wearing me down and said, Wes,
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  I'm standing with you. They challenged me when I need
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  the truth. They encouraged me when I felt
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  empty. They refused to let me retreat
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  into isolation. They reminded me of who I was
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  when Shane tried convincing me otherwise.
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  And I'll tell you right now, I would not be here today.
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  I would not be talking to you today through this podcast
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  without those relationships. Even Jesus had people who held
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  on his arms up emotionally, physically, and relationally in
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  the Son of God. If the Son of God wasn't
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  designed to walk alone, why do you think we are?
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  Every person needs three kinds of relationships, three types of
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  people who play different roles in the battle.
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  So let's walk through those three different types of people.
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  The first one is a Jonathan, someone who fights beside you.
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  Jonathan wasn't just David's friend, he was David's brother
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  in battle. Someone who believed in him,
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  defended him, encouraged him, protected him, and fought for
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  him. A Jonathan is the person who
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  says you don't scare me, your struggle doesn't intimidate me,
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  I'm not going anywhere. You don't need 10 Jonathans, you
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  just need one. The second is a Nathan, someone
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  who tells you the truth. Nathan was the one person who
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  looked Daniel in the eyes and said you're off track.
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  Here's the truth, here's what you need to face.
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  Nathan didn't embarrass him. Nathan didn't shame him.
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  Nathan didn't reject him. He guided him back to God.
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  You need someone in your life who loves you too much to lie to
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  you, someone who isn't threatened by your honesty and
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  isn't impressed by your excuses. And finally, you need a Paul,
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  someone who will build you up. Paul was the mentor, the
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  discipler, the spiritual guide, the one who poured into others
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  so that they could pour into others.
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  You need someone older, wiser, or simply further down the road
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  who can say I've been where you're going, let me walk with
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  you. This could be a pastor, a
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  mentor, a counselor, a leader, a sponsor, someone who is mature
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  in their faith. When you have these three
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  people, a Jonathan to walk with you, a Nathan to sharpen you,
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  and appalled to guide you, you are spiritually protected.
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  You are emotionally covered, you are relationally anchored, and
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  you are equipped for battle. See, there's something different
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  though, about friendships that are built in struggle.
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  Brotherhood that is built in trenches matters because they're
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  deeper, they're stronger, they're bonded by battle, not
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  convenience. Real brotherhood or sisterhood
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  is forged in the trenches, in the late night texts, in the
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  accountability moments, in the confessions that feel scary to
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  voice, in the prayers prayed for tear, in the prayers prayed with
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  tears, and the honest conversations that others will
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  never see. Battle friends are the one who
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  show up when your strength runs out.
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  They call you out on lies that you're believing.
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  They remind you of who you are when you forget.
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  They cover you spiritually when you're under attack.
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  They speak truth when you want to run.
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  They say you're not doing this alone.
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  And here's what's beautiful and humbling.
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  You don't become strong when you fight alone.
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  You become strong when you fight together.
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  See, deep friendship goes beyond service level connections
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  because those aren't enough. Service level friendships feel
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  good, but they won't save your life.
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  And you know that. You know what I'm talking about?
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  The kind that just says, how's work?
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  How's family? How you been?
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  Let's hang out sometime. Those friendships aren't bad.
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  They're just not enough. Because when the spiritual
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  battles hit, when you're staring down the darker parts of your
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  story, when your mind is under attack and when temptation is
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  pounding at your door, you don't need a coffee butter.
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  You don't need a coffee buddy. You need a foxhole friend.
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  Someone who doesn't flinch when you're honest.
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  Someone who doesn't step back when things get messy.
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  Someone who doesn't give up on you when you're tired.
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  Someone who doesn't let you disappear.
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  And tired in isolation. You want somebody who, when
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  stuff hits the fan, you know that you can turn to them.
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  Because real friendship requires vulnerability.
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  The kind that says, this is who I really am, this is what I'm
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  struggling with right now, and this is where I need help.
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  You can only fight what you're willing to name, and you can
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  only name it in front of people that you can trust with the
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  truth. So let's talk about some
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  practical systems that you can use to build a battle community
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  because it's a great idea, because great ideas don't change
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  lives unless they become habits. So here are structures that
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  create and sustain battle community.
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  The first one is weekly chickens.
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  This can be a simple text or a call that just says, how's your
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  heart? Really just knowing somebody
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  will ask keeps you grounded. The second one is accountability
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  questions. Not generic ones, but real ones.
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  Questions that reach below the surface.
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  What's been weighing on you? What lie did you believe this
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  week? Where did you feel tempted to
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  hide? Those questions are
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  accountability questions. The third one is in person or
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  video conversation because honesty hits different.
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  When you can look at someone in the eyes, you can tell if
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  they're being honest or not. It's important to have those
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  types of communication every week with somebody.
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  Finally, a safe group, team, or ministry Celebrate Recovery.
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  A men's group, A woman's group, A discipleship group, counseling
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  sessions, trusted community. All of these environments are
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  great because they create rhythm, they create consistency,
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  and they create spiritual protection.
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  You need a call me Anytime person.
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  You need You need a relationship that isn't scheduled.
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  Someone that you can call at 11:00 PM.
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  Someone you know, someone who knows the sound of your tears,
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  someone who picks up on the second ring.
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  You need somebody that can give you, that can give mutual
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  encouragement. Battle, battle community isn't 1
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  sided. You pour into them, they pour
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  into you. You become stronger together.
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  Iron sharpens iron. See, I'm not going to give
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  details, but there was a night where I was overwhelmed.
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  Drowning internally, exhausted mentally, struggling
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  spiritually. I didn't plan to tell anyone
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  because I didn't want to bother anyone.
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  I didn't want to admit how the heavy things felt.
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  But one friend, a true brother, noticed something in my voice
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  and instead of brushing past it, he said what's going on, for
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  real. He didn't judge me, he didn't
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  fix me, he didn't quote scripture at me in a
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  performative way. He just stayed with me and
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  listened. And that that night, his
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  presence kept me. And that night his presence kept
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  me from falling deeper into isolation.
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  I won't give details, but there was a night where I was
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  overwhelmed and really, really hurting.
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  I was drowning internally. I was exhausted mentally, and I
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  was really struggling spiritually.
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  I didn't know what to do. So I called one of my trench
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  trench brothers and I talked to them and they could hear it in
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  my voice that I was struggling. And they said what's going on
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  for real? And they just allowed me to vent
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  and to share what was going on in that moment.
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  He didn't judge me. He didn't try to fix me.
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  He didn't quote scripture at me in a performative way.
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  He just stayed with me and listened.
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  And that night, His presence kept me from falling deeper into
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  isolation. His presence kept me from
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  potentially turning to my former addiction.
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  Because sometimes God shows up through people who simply refuse
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  to leave. So what's in your battle
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  formation? Look at your life right now.
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  Not the version you present to others.
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  The real 1. And ask yourself, who are the
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  people that are standing in my battle formation?
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  Do you have a Jonathan to walk with you?
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  A Nathan to sharpen you, appalled to guide you?
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  Do you have somebody who notices when you go quiet?
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  Someone who asks the deeper questions?
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  Someone who can challenge you without pushing you away?
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  Somebody who wants your healing as much as you do?
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  And that is just as important battle.
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  Whose battle formation are you standing in?
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  Because the community is not a one way relationship.
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  It's mutual, it's shared and it's sacred.
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  So here's your challenge for the week.
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  Choose one person and invite them into your battle.
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  Not with a full confession and not with every detail, but just
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  one honest conversation. It could sound something like I
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  need a Jonathan in my life. Can we talk once this week?
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  Could we check in on each other? Can I share something that I'm
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  carrying? Just one step, Brotherhood or
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  sisterhood begins with bravery. Not a dramatic bravery, but a
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  relational brave. So take the step and find your
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  battle buddy. Thank you for joining me for
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  episode 29 of Unmasked. In this series, we're uncovering
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  the truth that healing happens in community, not the shallow
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  kind, but the kind forged in honesty, vulnerability, and
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  commitment. Next time in episode 31, we'll
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  finish the series with Freedom Multiplies, The ripple effect of
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  Community. It's the episode where we talk
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  about how healing doesn't stop with you.
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  It grows, spreads, and impacts the lives around you.
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  Until then, remember you weren't made to fight alone.
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  Strength grows in brotherhood and sisterhood, victory is found
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  in community, and freedom is forged in the trenches together.
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  God bless you.