Latest / Very Fine Friends / Mr. Clown's Opus

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Mr. Clown's Opus · Very Fine Friends

• 0:00
  last night francis and i we went to go meet some friends at this place this place that i had never
• 0:22
  even heard of before that's near the theater um it's just like a couple blocks away it's called
• 0:28
  Diamond Dawns.
• 0:32
  And I think their tagline is like
• 0:34
  legendary steaks or something.
• 0:37
  But it's like, so anyway,
• 0:38
  we were meeting people there
• 0:40
  and I was on the phone with someone
• 0:44
  and like, where are you?
• 0:45
  And then like, we're at Diamond Dawns.
• 0:46
  Just trust me, come here.
• 0:48
  I just want you to see this place.
• 0:50
  It's like, okay.
• 0:51
  So we're walking and it's like,
• 0:54
  just like in the middle of like,
• 0:55
  there's like a typewriter repair shop.
• 0:57
  there might be like a barbershop whatever and it looks like just like a hole in the wall kind of
• 1:02
  there's no windows or anything we open the door and it's like it's like a like like a russian
• 1:11
  nightclub in there it was so odd and it was just so like out of the blue and it was like all bright
• 1:19
  white like you walk in the door and there's um immediately a sarcophagus in front of you
• 1:25
  but it's like everything is like white
• 1:28
  but it's got like a pinkish hue to it.
• 1:30
  Yeah, with pink neon.
• 1:31
  Yeah, with pink neon.
• 1:33
  And it was just this like,
• 1:35
  for the neighborhood,
• 1:36
  just completely unexpected and super weird.
• 1:39
  Yeah, and they had an Arcadia door
• 1:40
  that led from the main bar to the outside.
• 1:44
  And then there was a huge outside
• 1:45
  which I didn't even know,
• 1:46
  it looked like it was in the middle of a strip mall
• 1:48
  but apparently there's a whole outdoor space
• 1:50
  that's like, or not strip mall
• 1:52
  but like along a strip,
• 1:54
  It didn't look like there was big outdoor space
• 1:57
  next to where this is.
• 1:59
  It looked like just the storefront part.
• 2:02
  Yeah, basically.
• 2:03
  But there was a whole big outdoor area.
• 2:05
  With a big performance.
• 2:07
  Like a huge stage.
• 2:09
  With one guy on it drumming.
• 2:10
  Also, what's an Arcadia door for any listeners
• 2:12
  who might not know what that is?
• 2:14
  It's the door that slides open.
• 2:16
  Like a sliding glass door.
• 2:18
  And also, why didn't you just say that?
• 2:22
  Some of the listeners are also wondering.
• 2:23
  I think this is a very well-known term.
• 2:27
  And Francis is, I don't know how well-known it is.
• 2:30
  I knew what kind of door it was because I was there last night.
• 2:33
  And so I intuited that that's what an Arcadia door is.
• 2:35
  But see, now I know.
• 2:37
  You didn't know?
• 2:37
  No, I don't think I did.
• 2:39
  I would have just called it a sliding glass door.
• 2:41
  Francis educating us all.
• 2:42
  No, this is good.
• 2:43
  This is education.
• 2:44
  It's good to know this thing.
• 2:45
  I think they call it an Arcadia door because it provides a clean vista of the outdoors.
• 2:50
  So it's like you can see Arcadia.
• 2:51
  But that's just a guess.
• 2:53
  Wait, is that a local thing or regional thing?
• 2:56
  Yeah, that's what I was going to ask.
• 2:58
  I don't know.
• 2:59
  I've only ever really been here talking about them.
• 3:02
  Okay.
• 3:03
  Because I would imagine...
• 3:04
  I'm getting looks, audience.
• 3:06
  No, I mean, well, because Arcadia is a place that exists where we are.
• 3:10
  I don't think it has to do with the concept of Arcadia,
• 3:12
  which is not like a geographical location here,
• 3:17
  but like in mythology and folklore.
• 3:20
  Okay.
• 3:21
  All right.
• 3:22
  That makes more sense.
• 3:23
  Joe's looking at me like this is my secret word.
• 3:27
  Maybe you're sneaking it in all weird.
• 3:30
  Sugar crush.
• 3:32
  Maybe Joe can look it up later while we're talking about something.
• 3:35
  Oh, last night, also last night when we were out,
• 3:38
  Francis said sugar crush.
• 3:41
  And then immediately there was like a huge clatter,
• 3:44
  like someone dropped the whole tray of drinks or something.
• 3:48
  I was like, did Francis do that?
• 3:51
  Sugar crush.
• 3:52
  You know what's interesting?
• 3:54
  So we were going to go somewhere else first,
• 3:56
  and then we had to go the other place.
• 3:57
  I went into Main Burger, and I got two.
• 4:01
  Remember those hibiscus drinks I had?
• 4:02
  I bought two of them, so I would have enough to enjoy.
• 4:05
  And then we were like, oh, we're going to the other place
• 4:07
  that doesn't allow outside food and drink.
• 4:09
  So I have these two large drinks.
• 4:11
  Luckily, you know me, I downed the first one, no problem.
• 4:13
  I was trying to drink the second one, but we got there.
• 4:15
  I didn't know what to do, so I set it on an outdoor mailbox
• 4:18
  outside the door.
• 4:20
  And then we came out like five minutes later,
• 4:22
  and I grabbed it and I was like,
• 4:23
  I don't trust it now.
• 4:25
  I bet you could have. No one's touching that.
• 4:28
  That's what our friend said and he was even
• 4:30
  like here and he took a drink but I still was like,
• 4:32
  eh. Wait, someone drank?
• 4:33
  Yeah.
• 4:34
  Oh, okay. That makes sense.
• 4:37
  Yeah, but I still couldn't get past it.
• 4:39
  Is that why he passed out
• 4:42
  later?
• 4:43
  He was roofied? By someone in Mesa?
• 4:46
  Yeah. Who just wanted to do it?
• 4:48
  I thought you were going to be like,
• 4:49
  you came out five minutes later, you grabbed the cup and you're like,
• 4:51
  why is it wet?
• 4:53
  Who wet my cup?
• 4:55
  I bet you you could have brought that in,
• 4:57
  that place.
• 4:58
  I thought it after I neglected it.
• 5:00
  Yeah.
• 5:00
  My poor little abandoned drink.
• 5:02
  Should have walked up to the security guard
• 5:03
  and been like,
• 5:04
  what are you worried?
• 5:05
  I'm going to spill it all over your precious Arcadia door.
• 5:08
  There was no security guard.
• 5:08
  There was no security guard.
• 5:10
  And there was only like one bartender
• 5:12
  and there was a line of people waiting for drinks
• 5:14
  so we didn't stick around.
• 5:16
  But like also,
• 5:16
  like we had a couple of friends that were there already
• 5:18
  and were waiting for us.
• 5:20
  They had food.
• 5:20
  They had food.
• 5:21
  apparently they have amazing Philly cheesesteaks.
• 5:25
  And this place is just...
• 5:26
  There's no such thing as an amazing Philly cheesesteak.
• 5:27
  Oh, that is not true at all.
• 5:29
  That's an oxymoron.
• 5:30
  A good cheesesteak is amazing.
• 5:33
  Yes, yes.
• 5:34
  No, they're gross.
• 5:35
  It's just steak and cheese?
• 5:36
  What do you mean?
• 5:37
  What is wrong with you?
• 5:37
  Do you ever get mushrooms on yours?
• 5:39
  Like onions?
• 5:41
  I have had that before, but I'm a purist.
• 5:43
  Just give me the meat and cheese.
• 5:44
  Yeah, I'm not unhappy with that at all.
• 5:45
  Just the meat and cheese is fine,
• 5:47
  but like with the onions and the mushrooms and all the sauces.
• 5:49
  No, no, no, no, no.
• 5:50
  You get meat, cheese, bread.
• 5:55
  If it's properly cheesed and the meat's not tough,
• 5:57
  it's like, oh, oof.
• 5:59
  Oof.
• 6:00
  I want one now.
• 6:01
  Another oof.
• 6:02
  Oof.
• 6:02
  That's how I am and no one oofs at me.
• 6:04
  I'm properly cheesed and the meat's not tough.
• 6:07
  Oh, you didn't know?
• 6:09
  We all oof behind your back.
• 6:10
  Oh, really?
• 6:10
  Oh, yeah.
• 6:11
  It's straight up oofing.
• 6:12
  Every time you walk out, we all go, oof.
• 6:14
  We call it oof in it.
• 6:16
  I'm oofy.
• 6:17
  Yeah.
• 6:18
  welcome to very fine friends a podcast where friends talk about stuff sometimes that stuff
• 6:24
  is things that they did less than 24 hours ago and we're almost everyone in the room was present
• 6:30
  for but joe we'll take you to this place it's a weird place no we're not going to do that
• 6:35
  i will i wouldn't mind going back when it's not crowded just to was it cool and i have to go back
• 6:42
  to i don't think so but i want to verify that it was just weird it's like i want you to see it
• 6:47
  It's close enough to where we normally are a lot
• 6:50
  that it's worth just the quick walk.
• 6:53
  Okay.
• 6:54
  Yeah.
• 6:55
  Anyway.
• 6:57
  Thank you, baby.
• 7:01
  I would ask how you are,
• 7:02
  but I, again, saw you like 18 hours ago.
• 7:07
  Yeah, well, things can change quickly.
• 7:09
  Oh, did they?
• 7:10
  No, no, no.
• 7:10
  I'm so great.
• 7:12
  Oof.
• 7:13
  Yeah, and you are too.
• 7:14
  I can tell.
• 7:14
  Yeah.
• 7:14
  Great energy coming from Jenna today.
• 7:16
  Thank you.
• 7:17
  Yeah.
• 7:17
  Appreciate that, yeah.
• 7:18
  Yeah.
• 7:19
  Great jet energy.
• 7:21
  Oh, dot com, buy it.
• 7:23
  Okay.
• 7:25
  It's electric.
• 7:30
  We're on different vibes on that one.
• 7:34
  It's okay, the vibes meet in the middle.
• 7:35
  Dot com, buy it.
• 7:38
  Quick interruption.
• 7:39
  Every week on the podcast,
• 7:42
  we do something where our producer Joe
• 7:44
  gives, Francis and I each our own secret word. Throughout the course of the podcast,
• 7:51
  we need to find a way to slip the secret word into our conversation without the other person
• 7:57
  noticing. If the other person can correctly guess the secret word, they get a point. And
• 8:03
  right before we die, we add up all the points. And then we get a prize, whoever has the most
• 8:10
  points for guessing the most secret words. Here's Joe with today's secret words.
• 8:16
  Jenna's secret word is cloistered. Jenna's decoy word is accordance. Francis's secret word is
• 8:23
  masterpiece. Francis's decoy word is antagonistic. Back to the pod.
• 8:31
  Speaking of meeting in the middle, it's time for the invention of the week.
• 8:37
  inventions.
• 8:43
  Lay it on me, toots.
• 8:46
  All right.
• 8:47
  You got it.
• 8:49
  Here it is.
• 8:54
  Do you know how I've done a couple of traffic inventions?
• 8:57
  I do know that.
• 8:58
  Do you know how sometimes they're...
• 9:01
  Impractical?
• 9:02
  No, no, no.
• 9:03
  No, I was going to say not 100% received well.
• 9:11
  Yes, I do know that.
• 9:12
  I think you're going to really like this because I was driving today.
• 9:15
  Okay.
• 9:15
  And I was on the freeway and there's these weird bottlenecks on the 10 where it's like,
• 9:19
  I'm like, oh, I expect to see like an accident and then there's nothing.
• 9:22
  Yeah.
• 9:23
  I'm like, okay, cool.
• 9:24
  This is the area we've all decided to slow down.
• 9:27
  Yeah.
• 9:27
  For no reason.
• 9:28
  What the hell happened here?
• 9:29
  Yeah.
• 9:29
  Yeah.
• 9:30
  It's really angering.
• 9:31
  Luckily, I've got my anger under control.
• 9:32
  Thank God for that.
• 9:33
  Yeah.
• 9:35
  So, invention.
• 9:39
  Yes.
• 9:40
  So I was thinking to myself,
• 9:41
  and you know I'm always trying to find a better way
• 9:44
  for passenger transport
• 9:46
  where you don't have to drive your car.
• 9:47
  Yeah.
• 9:48
  It's like, they're not going to build a light rail,
• 9:49
  they're not going to do this,
• 9:50
  or not light rail,
• 9:51
  passenger rail, not going to do this,
• 9:52
  not going to do that.
• 9:53
  Then it hit me.
• 9:56
  You know in New York how they have those
• 9:57
  cars that you ride in
• 10:01
  that are fully enclosed
• 10:02
  and it's like on a zip line
• 10:04
  and it takes you down so you can see the skyline and stuff.
• 10:08
  It's like, think ski.
• 10:10
  Wait, in New York?
• 10:11
  Yeah, New York City.
• 10:13
  They have like...
• 10:14
  Yeah.
• 10:18
  Oh, wait, is there something like that
• 10:20
  that might be connecting Queens to Manhattan?
• 10:24
  I don't know.
• 10:25
  I've never done it.
• 10:25
  Okay, you're picturing it?
• 10:27
  I guess I'm picturing.
• 10:29
  You're talking about like a cable pulley system.
• 10:31
  It's like a ski lift, but you're not dangling free.
• 10:34
  Yeah, sure, I'm picturing that.
• 10:35
  I thought to myself, let's just build those,
• 10:38
  a network of those over the freeway,
• 10:41
  high enough so that it's over all the traffic,
• 10:44
  and people can just get in it and ride over the city
• 10:46
  and not have to drive their cars.
• 10:50
  No slingshots, it's a slingshot-free system.
• 10:53
  No helicopters, no metal containers with foam.
• 10:58
  um here's the problem with those they're very slow well you could just make it faster
• 11:07
  it's slow because this is like a high speed yeah yeah you don't understand they make it slow
• 11:14
  for the view i think they also make it slow for for a safety sake companion product idea we could
• 11:23
  sell a high-powered,
• 11:25
  like a high-wattage personal fan
• 11:26
  that you can just
• 11:28
  put
• 11:30
  facing away from where you're going and then
• 11:32
  just turn the fan on and then it's like
• 11:34
  the fan will push you forward faster.
• 11:36
  Like the Louisiana Swamp machines?
• 11:39
  Yes, exactly like that.
• 11:40
  Sky Swamp.
• 11:44
  Write it down now.
• 11:45
  I like that. Sky Swamp.
• 11:47
  Sky Blow.
• 11:50
  I think
• 11:51
  yeah those are slow and I think you need to like you need to set up there there's a lot of
• 11:56
  infrastructure involved with those as much as the other ones just cabling yeah but lots of cabling
• 12:03
  and you need to have poles all the way through and like so once you actually get to city you can't
• 12:08
  keep doing that like the places that there are are like end to end points where there's nothing in
• 12:13
  between that's the sigh of a man who's frustrated no i'm just thinking he doesn't get it i'm thinking
• 12:22
  it is only over freeways you don't have to worry about anything else and then there's a
• 12:27
  there's get off points but again they go so slow we're gonna turn the speed up a little
• 12:32
  our system has proprietary safety um redundancies put in place that prevent accidents okay but if
• 12:42
  you increase the speed enough on one of these you're gonna have to fortify it like you're gonna
• 12:48
  have to so that it's not just like a thing hanging from a cable you're gonna have to suddenly create
• 12:52
  some kind of like more secure rail system so that it can go at a faster speed so you've basically
• 13:00
  just done light rail okay um you haven't thought of something else what um
• 13:10
  the shade it will provide the cars below
• 13:14
  so but again who's going to take this if it's just going so slow over a freeway it's going to
• 13:24
  go faster our system but but what i'm saying is you in order for it to go faster you're going to
• 13:29
  have to you're going to have to be it's going to be fortified in such a way that you might as well
• 13:36
  just build a light rail along like above the
• 13:39
  above the freeway system you're going to have to have almost the exact same
• 13:44
  infrastructure
• 13:45
  um i just don't see it that way i see people wanting to be on them look those
• 13:57
  are fun to ride as long as you well i mean i'm assuming
• 14:02
  how many people are going to be
• 14:07
  in one of these things at a time?
• 14:12
  Up to 20.
• 14:15
  Okay.
• 14:18
  Because again, it's going to have to go so slow
• 14:20
  that it's like, you're going to feel
• 14:24
  trapped in this thing with these people,
• 14:28
  going real slow, watching the cars go by fast below you.
• 14:31
  Trapped like rats in taxis.
• 14:32
  Yes.
• 14:34
  Yeah.
• 14:35
  But you can't take the rat taxi out of there.
• 14:37
  You're stuck.
• 14:40
  Huh.
• 14:43
  I have a totally different idea I could pitch.
• 14:46
  So you've abandoned?
• 14:47
  No, no.
• 14:49
  Some investors just don't see it, the vision.
• 14:52
  I have to wait until I'm in a room with the right people
• 14:55
  who look up and see what I see.
• 14:58
  Do you see what I see?
• 15:00
  Shark Tank, if you're listening, and we know you are,
• 15:02
  Mark Cuban.
• 15:04
  Mr. Wonderful.
• 15:05
  The other three sharks.
• 15:06
  Barbara something.
• 15:08
  Kevin.
• 15:09
  Barbara Shark.
• 15:10
  Kevin Hammerhead.
• 15:14
  Side note, did you see that there are sharks in the Bahamas that are like all coked up
• 15:19
  because of people like dropping coke in the water?
• 15:23
  It sounds like we have a sequel idea on our hands.
• 15:27
  A sequel to Cocaine Bear?
• 15:29
  Yeah.
• 15:29
  Yeah.
• 15:29
  Cocaine Shark.
• 15:30
  Cocaine Shark.
• 15:32
  You guys want to go there?
• 15:34
  To the Bahamas?
• 15:34
  Take a trip?
• 15:35
  Yeah, just swim with my mouth open.
• 15:38
  Swim with your nose open.
• 15:39
  Yeah.
• 15:41
  Anyway, that was a side note since we were talking about sharks.
• 15:46
  Okay, so you're not abandoning this idea?
• 15:48
  No, no.
• 15:49
  You have an addendum to it?
• 15:52
  That's next week.
• 15:53
  It's for next week.
• 15:55
  It's a totally new invention.
• 15:56
  Okay.
• 15:57
  But you'll love it.
• 15:58
  Great.
• 16:00
  I'm getting you ready now.
• 16:01
  okay thank you so what we call in the culinary industry pounding the meat getting it tender
• 16:06
  i feel thoroughly bounded as you should yeah so let's just here let me just try this let me just
• 16:14
  try this everything i've got okay you have an emergency your car is not working your self
• 16:21
  service is out oh why oh this is very good your neighbor has a car that is working he's only
• 16:30
  I don't want to take you so far.
• 16:32
  I'll take you to the cabling depot.
• 16:35
  Oh, it's only that far.
• 16:38
  Yeah, but luckily-
• 16:39
  But I'm going into town.
• 16:40
  Oh, oh my God, that's where it goes.
• 16:42
  Whoa.
• 16:43
  Cabling depot goes into town You just gotta get into one of the cars sweet lady Oh one of the pergolas Is that the right use of that word No
• 16:55
  No, it's not.
• 16:56
  It's not a pergola.
• 16:57
  What's a pergola?
• 16:59
  Like what you've got.
• 17:01
  Oh, oh, really?
• 17:03
  Yeah.
• 17:04
  Why did I think it was like a, what am I thinking of?
• 17:07
  There's something that starts with P that those.
• 17:10
  Oh, oh, I gave a gondola.
• 17:13
  that's what I'm thinking of a gondola
• 17:15
  it doesn't start with a P but it does
• 17:16
  it does sound kind of
• 17:19
  like that
• 17:21
  I'm just going to write it down just in case
• 17:24
  okay have fun
• 17:25
  anyway so
• 17:29
  yeah you can write it with your friends
• 17:31
  and you use your like we have an app
• 17:33
  so you can scan so we know who's in it
• 17:35
  so like for example if someone drops a cinder block
• 17:37
  out of it and it hits a car
• 17:38
  no one's going to do that because everyone
• 17:41
  think we know who's in the house.
• 17:42
  I didn't even think about that.
• 17:43
  Well, why would you have open windows?
• 17:45
  You can't, but someone could break a window.
• 17:47
  People are nuts.
• 17:48
  With that cinder block.
• 17:49
  There's a lot of mischievous people who live in society.
• 17:54
  I guess if you're the kind of person
• 17:55
  that throws a cinder block out a window
• 17:57
  and it lands on a car,
• 17:59
  do you really care if the app is tracking you?
• 18:03
  I think you do.
• 18:04
  I would care.
• 18:04
  Some people want to commit a crime,
• 18:05
  but they don't really want to get in trouble.
• 18:07
  I think there are people that don't think that far ahead.
• 18:10
  I can't invent my way out of that.
• 18:13
  We live among them.
• 18:15
  Yeah, it's true.
• 18:17
  I hadn't even thought about the safety issues
• 18:19
  of the people of being above cars.
• 18:22
  Well, there's AI lenses on them,
• 18:24
  so they detect things you're not supposed to have.
• 18:27
  Did you know they have thermal cameras
• 18:28
  that detect the shapes of weapons?
• 18:33
  So if you're approaching a federal building
• 18:35
  and you have a gun,
• 18:36
  it could see the gun and alert someone?
• 18:38
  Wow.
• 18:40
  yeah bodacious
• 18:43
  I don't like the implications of that
• 18:46
  I know
• 18:47
  big brother
• 18:49
  big giant brother looking at our guns
• 18:52
  stop looking at my guns
• 18:54
  let me do what I'm gonna do
• 18:56
  big brother
• 18:56
  then you can punish me
• 18:58
  well I okay
• 19:02
  alright let's say this is feasible
• 19:04
  and it does go fast
• 19:05
  I don't again
• 19:07
  they go 40 miles an hour
• 19:09
  so you're betting that the average time on the freeway
• 19:14
  is going to be about 40 miles an hour
• 19:16
  I'm betting that first of all it saves you money
• 19:21
  second of all it frees up cars on the road
• 19:24
  the cars that are going to go go faster
• 19:26
  but then suddenly everyone would be like
• 19:27
  look at how much faster these cars are going
• 19:30
  why am I taking this gondola
• 19:32
  I think people like me, I want it.
• 19:42
  I want to ride on it.
• 19:43
  Look, there is something great about not having to actually drive sometimes.
• 19:47
  Like if you want to just read or whatever.
• 19:51
  Yeah.
• 19:52
  Talk to friends.
• 19:53
  Knit.
• 19:54
  Yeah.
• 19:55
  Build miniatures.
• 19:56
  Next to 19 strangers.
• 19:58
  Yeah.
• 19:59
  Absolutely.
• 20:00
  Build miniatures.
• 20:01
  You're just painting tiny furniture.
• 20:04
  It's a hobby I wish I had.
• 20:06
  What kind of miniatures?
• 20:07
  Mostly book knucks or little dioramas.
• 20:09
  I had this business idea where I wanted to,
• 20:13
  you could send me pictures or describe or whatever,
• 20:16
  like a childhood room or a memory with a spouse
• 20:23
  or a significant other or something,
• 20:24
  and I could build you that room as a keepsake miniature.
• 20:29
  Isn't that cute?
• 20:30
  Yeah, people would definitely buy those.
• 20:32
  It'd be labor intensive, but
• 20:34
  you can charge a lot for it.
• 20:36
  Yeah, it's sentimental, so people understand they're going to have to pay.
• 20:38
  Yeah.
• 20:40
  I think that's a good idea.
• 20:42
  That's a good invention.
• 20:44
  Well, it's not really an invention.
• 20:45
  Don't steal this idea, people.
• 20:48
  This is Francis' idea. Don't do this.
• 20:51
  And there's certainly not someone
• 20:52
  who already does this, I'm sure.
• 20:55
  Nope, there is not.
• 20:56
  Yeah, so you just need to wait for me to learn the craft,
• 20:59
  start the business
• 21:01
  and then we'll talk about the free market.
• 21:05
  Okay.
• 21:06
  So yeah, hold your horses
• 21:07
  until Francis gets his business up and running.
• 21:12
  Oh, and we can have dedicated
• 21:13
  child-free, dog-free cars
• 21:16
  and then we can have dog cars,
• 21:18
  child cars.
• 21:22
  It's just dogs and just children.
• 21:24
  The dogs are like scanning their own apps.
• 21:27
  I would be worried
• 21:28
  if you're like, oh, this is the car
• 21:30
  the kids can come on and then there's like
• 21:32
  the weird creepy dude that gets on by himself.
• 21:37
  Oh, oops.
• 21:38
  Oh, did I get on the wrong one?
• 21:42
  Oopsies.
• 21:44
  Oh, I'm such a child at heart.
• 21:46
  This happens to me all the time.
• 21:48
  Here, I'll hold him.
• 21:53
  Okay, so what do you want to call this?
• 21:55
  Joe, right at the gate.
• 21:57
  What did you say?
• 21:58
  Sky Swamp.
• 22:00
  Oh, I guess that doesn't make sense.
• 22:02
  Sky Swamp.
• 22:03
  It was more with the companion product,
• 22:07
  the handheld fan.
• 22:09
  The fan that accelerates you in your gondola?
• 22:14
  I'm not saying it.
• 22:19
  What about either Sky High or the Skyline?
• 22:25
  I feel like the Skyline's probably the name
• 22:27
  of a thing like that already.
• 22:28
  and Sky High is a movie.
• 22:31
  Yeah.
• 22:31
  It doesn't matter.
• 22:33
  Doesn't it?
• 22:34
  Okay, I'm writing it down.
• 22:37
  What about Fast and Up?
• 22:45
  Get Fast in there somehow.
• 22:47
  Fast and...
• 22:50
  That sounds like an over-the-counter stimulant.
• 22:53
  How about Furious?
• 22:56
  That's also a movie.
• 22:58
  what if we call it fate of the furious,
• 23:03
  but fate spelled F eight.
• 23:06
  Hmm.
• 23:07
  Yeah.
• 23:08
  Good.
• 23:08
  Yes.
• 23:09
  What about Tokyo drift?
• 23:12
  What about,
• 23:13
  uh,
• 23:15
  cloud something,
• 23:16
  you know,
• 23:17
  like head in the clouds,
• 23:20
  car in the clouds,
• 23:23
  car clouds,
• 23:24
  cloud car.
• 23:26
  Sounds like clown car.
• 23:27
  It does.
• 23:28
  Sky Racer instead of Skyscraper.
• 23:33
  Sky Racer?
• 23:36
  She's got the pen.
• 23:38
  Put it up.
• 23:41
  There's a lot of great names to be had.
• 23:43
  And I like a slogan you already came up with.
• 23:45
  It's fun to ride.
• 23:47
  Cloud Car, it's fun to ride.
• 23:50
  Yeah.
• 23:51
  Thank you.
• 23:52
  It's fun to ride.
• 23:54
  Those are fun, but usually they are scenic.
• 23:58
  If you're just going over a freeway, that's less scenic.
• 24:01
  Well, you're not looking at the freeway, you're over the freeway,
• 24:03
  so you're looking out and away.
• 24:08
  Yeah.
• 24:10
  Okay.
• 24:13
  Well, Francis, are you on Molly right now?
• 24:18
  No.
• 24:18
  Francis just took a little hit from his...
• 24:20
  The boom boom stick.
• 24:22
  Mentha stick.
• 24:23
  Yeah, actually, it's not a brand name.
• 24:25
  I found it in my house.
• 24:26
  I was going to say, you won't drink your water or your tea that you left out for five minutes,
• 24:33
  but you will take a mentha stick that you found.
• 24:36
  No, you found it in your house.
• 24:38
  What if it's laced with fentanyl?
• 24:42
  You can't catch anything from a nose.
• 24:46
  That's true.
• 24:48
  Science has proven that.
• 24:51
  So when you're drinking bleach later and you bump noses with somebody,
• 24:55
  don't worry about it.
• 24:56
  okay well
• 25:00
  again I think this is a
• 25:02
  anytime you do anything with traffic
• 25:04
  Francis it's a huge
• 25:06
  infrastructure problem
• 25:08
  it's not a problem
• 25:09
  it's everything
• 25:11
  every system has an infrastructure
• 25:14
  requirement but once it's built
• 25:16
  it's built
• 25:17
  like every time
• 25:20
  you pitch a traffic convention
• 25:22
  you were like playing the sims an hour
• 25:24
  beforehand I love this
• 25:25
  oh my god can I tell you something
• 25:26
  I used to play the sims religiously
• 25:29
  and one time
• 25:31
  I was like dad I need to get this
• 25:33
  expansion pack he's like
• 25:35
  now and it was night time I'm like yes I want to go to
• 25:37
  Best Buy and buy it and he's like
• 25:39
  can we go tomorrow I'm like no we have to go tonight
• 25:41
  so we went and got the expansion pack
• 25:43
  and as we were driving home we were at a red light
• 25:45
  and he was on the phone
• 25:46
  and we saw these two cars
• 25:50
  collide
• 25:51
  and start to come toward us this is like
• 25:53
  100% true
• 25:55
  and we both saw it and I was like
• 25:57
  oh my god these cars are going to hit us
• 25:59
  and my dad was on the phone and he was like I gotta call you back
• 26:00
  he had time to be like I have to call you back we're going to get hit
• 26:03
  and then we got hit
• 26:04
  oh yeah I saw blood on the other guy's
• 26:07
  windshield
• 26:08
  yikes
• 26:09
  anyway we had to go to the hospital
• 26:11
  and then when we got home I still played
• 26:13
  well yeah I mean otherwise
• 26:15
  what was it all for
• 26:16
  you honor a car accident
• 26:20
  by playing the sims
• 26:21
  yeah don't let the terrorists win
• 26:23
  Oh, it was a borrowed car, by the way.
• 26:26
  Might have borrowed his friend's car.
• 26:28
  Total. Yikes.
• 26:30
  It wasn't
• 26:30
  his fault. It's my fault.
• 26:34
  Because you needed to have the
• 26:35
  Sims expansion pack? I had to have it.
• 26:37
  Hey, worth it for the story right now.
• 26:40
  Thanks. Yeah, I agree.
• 26:41
  Thank you, insurance company.
• 26:44
  Yeah, it's okay.
• 26:45
  You're welcome. Have you ever played?
• 26:48
  No. I've always wanted to play, but I never
• 26:50
  did. The closest I ever came was
• 26:52
  Sim City.
• 26:56
  Not the Sims, Sim City, where you just build a city.
• 26:59
  Oh, I wanted to play that too.
• 27:00
  That's the one I played.
• 27:01
  That was fun.
• 27:03
  And I always, inevitably, crime would break out
• 27:07
  in my nice neighborhoods.
• 27:09
  And I kept trying to put out fires.
• 27:13
  Oh my God, the little fire animations.
• 27:15
  Then you have to splash the water on it.
• 27:17
  I know.
• 27:18
  And then you try and take, okay,
• 27:20
  I'm going to build like residential areas here and look, Oh, they're getting cute. Okay. I'm
• 27:24
  going to like, keep them all like farther away from every they're like cloistered from all the
• 27:28
  rest of like the industrial lands by like bushes around everything. So like the people can't escape
• 27:34
  and no one can get in inevitably still there. One of the houses would set on fire. There'd be
• 27:39
  looting. I don't know. Yeah. I would get like alerts all the time that like, Oh, your city is
• 27:44
  becoming far too industrial. It's getting out of hand. I'm like, I didn't build any industrial
• 27:48
  The pollution has gone mad.
• 27:51
  I know how the pollution.
• 27:53
  All I did was plant trees.
• 27:55
  How is the pollution bad?
• 27:56
  Anyway.
• 27:57
  In the original one, they had burglars.
• 27:59
  So like you'd have to like when you build your house,
• 28:01
  you have to put in like alarm systems and like,
• 28:02
  but they cost money.
• 28:03
  So like whether you did or you didn't,
• 28:06
  occasionally they would have like at nighttime,
• 28:08
  your person would be sleeping
• 28:08
  and you could either watch them sleep all night
• 28:10
  or you could speed it up and go through the night.
• 28:12
  But sometimes it would like slow down
• 28:14
  and you hear like ominous music
• 28:16
  and you see like a burglar approaching your house.
• 28:18
  It scared me.
• 28:19
  Yeah, because it makes you think,
• 28:22
  well, this is supposed to be like real life.
• 28:24
  And they're putting in burglars sneaking.
• 28:26
  Yeah.
• 28:28
  All right, well,
• 28:31
  apparently this is not a difficult problem
• 28:33
  infrastructure-wise, so I'm sure...
• 28:35
  It just costs money.
• 28:36
  Yeah.
• 28:39
  Okay.
• 28:39
  You know what we could do to pay for this?
• 28:41
  Leave it up to the people.
• 28:43
  I have a bake sale.
• 28:45
  $2 billion for cookies.
• 28:46
  I was thinking, you know when you check out places
• 28:49
  and you cash out, and they're like,
• 28:50
  do you want to round your change up for whatever?
• 28:53
  It could be like, are you interested in rounding your change up for
• 28:54
  the new Skyline project?
• 28:57
  And people who don't care about it would be like, no.
• 28:59
  And people that do want to see it would be like, yeah, of course.
• 29:01
  Do you want to round up for fast and up?
• 29:08
  Okay.
• 29:08
  Yeah.
• 29:09
  You want to round up for Coke Shark?
• 29:11
  Yes.
• 29:13
  Yes.
• 29:13
  My finger will be bleeding for how fast I hit that button.
• 29:18
  Okay, well, it's probably already been in place
• 29:22
  by the time this episode airs.
• 29:24
  Wave down at us.
• 29:25
  Yeah, but don't throw cinder blocks at us.
• 29:29
  Yeah, that would be shitty.
• 29:30
  Yeah.
• 29:31
  And a felony.
• 29:33
  Well, that wraps up the invention of the week.
• 29:38
  Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful.
• 29:39
  All right, it's time for our next segment.
• 29:45
  The Princess Lied.
• 29:56
  Love it.
• 29:58
  All right, Francis, do you want to explain this one?
• 30:00
  Yeah, you know how in the movie The Princess Bride,
• 30:02
  the grandpa is like telling his grandson a story
• 30:05
  and the grandson keeps like interrupting him with questions?
• 30:07
  Yes.
• 30:07
  Or like commentary.
• 30:10
  It's going to be similar to that.
• 30:12
  So grandpa's going to be telling a story about his life to his grandchild.
• 30:16
  And then the grandchild may or may not be questioning things from the story.
• 30:21
  And grandpa must respond.
• 30:25
  Okay.
• 30:26
  Okay.
• 30:27
  Who do you want to be?
• 30:30
  I'll be grandpa.
• 30:34
  Okay.
• 30:35
  That work for you?
• 30:35
  Yeah, that's great.
• 30:36
  Yeah.
• 30:37
  All right, Devin.
• 30:43
  Get all tucked in.
• 30:44
  Can you tuck me in, Grandpa?
• 30:46
  Of course I will.
• 30:47
  I love you, Grandpa.
• 30:48
  I love you too, Devin.
• 30:51
  Oh, there you are.
• 30:51
  I'll tuck to him.
• 30:52
  Thanks.
• 30:53
  Night light is on.
• 30:54
  Could you tell me a story before bed?
• 30:57
  Oh.
• 30:58
  Helps me sleep.
• 30:59
  A story, huh?
• 31:01
  A true one.
• 31:02
  Okay.
• 31:04
  Oh, let me think.
• 31:05
  Let me think
• 31:08
  Did I ever tell you about the time
• 31:13
  When I traveled around
• 31:17
  These great United States
• 31:19
  With a circus
• 31:21
  No, Grandpa, you were in a circus?
• 31:24
  I surely was
• 31:26
  Can't wait to hear about this
• 31:29
  Wait, but this is true, right?
• 31:31
  This is 100% true
• 31:33
  Okay, this is true
• 31:35
  Okay. Well, I was about 19 years old. I was a young, just a young fella trying to avoid the war. So I left my parents' house.
• 31:51
  Which were?
• 31:51
  The great middle one
• 31:56
  That
• 31:58
  The one where we
• 32:00
  Oh we
• 32:01
  Our boys in blue fought those
• 32:04
  Those enemies
• 32:06
  Oh okay
• 32:09
  Yeah
• 32:10
  Middle war
• 32:10
  Alright
• 32:11
  Anyway
• 32:14
  I was
• 32:15
  I had my
• 32:17
  My bindle
• 32:18
  I was walking around town
• 32:20
  and I used to take train car from town to town.
• 32:25
  One day, it was very dark,
• 32:28
  and I was running alongside the train,
• 32:31
  and I knew there wasn't going to be another train coming for a while.
• 32:33
  I had to get on this train.
• 32:35
  So I foisted myself up onto this train car,
• 32:39
  and I made it.
• 32:40
  I finally made it, and it was pitch black.
• 32:45
  And I couldn't,
• 32:48
  I was so tired from all the running to get out of this train car that I just fell right asleep.
• 32:54
  I didn't even have time to reconnoiter my surroundings.
• 32:59
  To what?
• 33:02
  Reconnoiter my surroundings.
• 33:04
  Could you spell that?
• 33:07
  R-E-C-O-N-O-I-T-E-R.
• 33:14
  Reconnoiter.
• 33:15
  What does that mean?
• 33:16
  Uh, recognize, realize.
• 33:21
  Okay.
• 33:23
  Oh good, you're writing it down, so you can use it later.
• 33:28
  Well, back to my story.
• 33:32
  I woke up one day around that train car and the light pouring through And what else was pouring through I look I wake up and right in my face it the face of a giraffe
• 33:47
  And I was like, whoa, where did this giraffe come from?
• 33:51
  I don't think a giraffe could fit in a train car, Grandpa.
• 33:54
  No, it was one of those, I didn't know it at the time,
• 33:58
  but it was one of those double tall train cars.
• 34:02
  Oh.
• 34:03
  It was the kind where it's like
• 34:06
  Train cars, you know how planes have extra lead room?
• 34:10
  Sometimes train cars have extra head room
• 34:12
  Anyway, it was one of those types of train cars
• 34:16
  The giraffe was looking down at me
• 34:18
  Chewing on its hay
• 34:19
  Do they eat hay, Grandpa?
• 34:24
  I think they eat leaves
• 34:25
  I learned that in school
• 34:26
  Well, school is stupid
• 34:31
  I can tell you
• 34:33
  I'm a primary source on this one
• 34:36
  They eat hay
• 34:37
  Anyway, I was chewing on its hay
• 34:40
  And
• 34:42
  I was like
• 34:46
  Where do you come from, young giraffe?
• 34:49
  And then I looked around
• 34:50
  And riding on that giraffe
• 34:53
  Was a clown
• 34:54
  And I said to him
• 34:56
  Mr. Clown
• 34:57
  Mr. Clown, where am I?
• 34:59
  Did I wake up?
• 35:00
  Did I die?
• 35:00
  in my sleep and wake up in a weird heaven.
• 35:02
  Grandpa, why'd you assume the gender of the clown?
• 35:05
  He had his penis out.
• 35:09
  So I didn't have to assume anything.
• 35:12
  That makes sense.
• 35:12
  Yeah.
• 35:13
  And the clown laughed and he laughed.
• 35:16
  He put his penis away.
• 35:19
  And he said,
• 35:21
  Well, you, today is your lucky day, young man.
• 35:26
  You woke up in a circus car.
• 35:30
  You're one of us now
• 35:31
  You're circus folk
• 35:32
  And I was like, what?
• 35:35
  Me?
• 35:37
  But
• 35:37
  What could I possibly do in the circus?
• 35:41
  I'm just a normal 19 year old
• 35:43
  Boy man
• 35:45
  Boy slash man, not quite a man yet
• 35:47
  And he said
• 35:50
  Well
• 35:51
  What is it that
• 35:55
  You are good at?
• 35:57
  And I
• 35:57
  This time I realized I was surrounded by hay,
• 36:02
  which is why the giraffe was nearby.
• 36:04
  So I started picking up giant bales of hay.
• 36:07
  Grandpa?
• 36:07
  Yeah?
• 36:08
  Did it have a black tongue?
• 36:11
  The clown?
• 36:13
  No.
• 36:14
  The animal.
• 36:16
  Oh, it was as pink as the day is long.
• 36:20
  Really?
• 36:21
  Uh-huh.
• 36:22
  Oh, okay.
• 36:24
  That's the color of a giraffe's tongue is pink.
• 36:28
  Just like the tongue in a Mr. Potato Head.
• 36:31
  Same color.
• 36:33
  Grandpa?
• 36:34
  Yeah.
• 36:36
  Do those have tongues?
• 36:38
  Mr. Potato Heads?
• 36:39
  Yeah.
• 36:40
  Yes, they do.
• 36:41
  Thanks, Grandpa.
• 36:42
  Grandpa?
• 36:43
  That is real.
• 36:44
  Grandpa?
• 36:45
  Yeah.
• 36:46
  Did you have your penis out?
• 36:50
  Why, of course I did.
• 36:53
  Oh, that's something else 19-year-olds all did back in my day,
• 37:00
  during the Middle War.
• 37:02
  Anyway, I started taking these giant bales of hay
• 37:06
  and moving them around with such ease.
• 37:10
  It didn't even occur to me that they might be heavy.
• 37:13
  And the clown said, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
• 37:17
  Those are really heavy, and you're moving them around with such ease.
• 37:21
  Grandpa?
• 37:23
  Yeah?
• 37:24
  Is that how you got hay fever?
• 37:26
  Oh, yes.
• 37:28
  That's right.
• 37:30
  If you move the bails of hay around too quickly, you get the fever.
• 37:34
  You get the hay fever.
• 37:37
  Thanks, Grandpa.
• 37:37
  Mm-hmm.
• 37:39
  Anyway, the clown looked at me and he said,
• 37:43
  I think you might be the one.
• 37:46
  And I said, the one?
• 37:48
  And he said, yes.
• 37:49
  According to a prophecy
• 37:53
  There will someday come a man
• 37:57
  A man so strong
• 37:59
  So strong
• 38:02
  That he could lift anything above his head
• 38:05
  And he will be
• 38:08
  A man that will
• 38:10
  Sell lots of tickets
• 38:12
  And people will come far and wide
• 38:14
  To see this man
• 38:17
  Grandpa?
• 38:18
  Yes?
• 38:19
  Did you source verify this fortune telling?
• 38:25
  Or did you just trust?
• 38:27
  I kind of had to trust, son, because I had had a dream that very night on that train car where God spoke to me and said,
• 38:38
  Your destiny will be fulfilled
• 38:42
  In accordance with the prophecy
• 38:47
  The foretelling has been told
• 38:50
  I've given you the strength of Samson
• 38:53
  Do not waste the strength
• 38:56
  Use it to sell tickets
• 38:59
  Yep
• 38:59
  What was the race of God?
• 39:03
  He had no race
• 39:04
  He was a being
• 39:05
  who was pink as the day is long.
• 39:12
  Anyway.
• 39:16
  So I was, I had told the clown of my dream,
• 39:21
  and then from the back of the car,
• 39:23
  all of a sudden a lot of different people started coming out.
• 39:25
  There was a lady with a beard,
• 39:28
  and there was a man taller than the giraffe himself,
• 39:33
  and there was a bunch of smaller clowns running around.
• 39:38
  Grandpa?
• 39:38
  Yeah?
• 39:39
  Did the beard on the lady confuse you sexually?
• 39:44
  Oh, oh, you.
• 39:47
  I knew you'd point something like that out.
• 39:49
  I did bed that woman and I did have mixed feelings about it.
• 39:57
  But ultimately, if it's pink as the day is long,
• 40:03
  I am.
• 40:09
  I'm all right with it.
• 40:10
  Thanks, Grandpa.
• 40:11
  Yeah, sure.
• 40:14
  Anyways, they all came out of the shadows,
• 40:18
  and they were pointing at me.
• 40:20
  They're like, it's him.
• 40:22
  It's the one.
• 40:23
  In accordance with the prophecy.
• 40:27
  And I was like, well, far be it from me
• 40:31
  to withstand in the way my destiny of selling lots of tickets.
• 40:38
  So I got myself a pair of tiny little shorts,
• 40:43
  nothing on my barrel chest.
• 40:46
  I grew a big mustache.
• 40:49
  I got a barbell with two giant balls at the end.
• 40:54
  Oh, and boy, did I travel with that circus,
• 40:57
  and I would raise that barbell over my head.
• 41:01
  and they would come from far and wide and be like,
• 41:05
  Oh, Mama, I've never seen a man as strong as that.
• 41:09
  Oh, I wish I had a man as strong as that.
• 41:12
  The men would be,
• 41:13
  Woman, don't look at that strong man like that.
• 41:20
  And men were jealous, but they had to admire me.
• 41:23
  Hey, Grandpa?
• 41:24
  Yeah?
• 41:25
  Did that commentary really happen?
• 41:27
  Oh, it was word for word.
• 41:29
  I had a stenographer with me at all times,
• 41:34
  and she would take notes,
• 41:37
  and I still have the full transcript of that,
• 41:41
  so I can show you that.
• 41:43
  It's in our family album.
• 41:44
  I'll need to see it.
• 41:45
  Yeah, no problem.
• 41:48
  So anyways, eventually, what happened,
• 41:53
  if you're wondering,
• 41:55
  while Grandpa's not so strong anymore,
• 41:58
  as he was back in those circus days,
• 42:01
  it's because one night a jealous man snuck into my tent
• 42:08
  and he replaced my regular nighttime whiskey tonic
• 42:15
  with a de-strengthening tonic
• 42:22
  that tasted just like my whiskey tonic.
• 42:24
  Hey, Grandpa.
• 42:25
  Yeah?
• 42:25
  What was the race of the man?
• 42:28
  I don't know.
• 42:29
  He snuck in.
• 42:30
  It was like a burglar in the night while I was sleeping.
• 42:34
  Scary.
• 42:34
  Yeah.
• 42:34
  I had my eyes covered by the bearded lady's beard.
• 42:40
  So even if I had woken up, I would not have been able to see.
• 42:43
  Anyway, little did I know when I woke up in the middle of the night
• 42:47
  for my mid-sleep whiskey tonic sip,
• 42:53
  that I was de-strengthening myself
• 42:55
  because it was that same man who harumphed earlier in the day.
• 43:00
  Jealous as he was that I was making his wife look.
• 43:03
  Grandpa?
• 43:04
  Yeah?
• 43:05
  How'd you know it was him if you didn't see him?
• 43:07
  He left a note, said, I am the harumphur from before.
• 43:13
  Oh, scary.
• 43:14
  I know.
• 43:15
  He signed his crime, harumphur.
• 43:19
  Anyway, I woke up with just noodles for arm.
• 43:25
  The bearded lady, she yelled
• 43:28
  She screamed, really
• 43:30
  I fainted, I couldn't believe it
• 43:32
  Where was my strength?
• 43:35
  I tried to pick up that de-strengthening tonic
• 43:38
  And check it out
• 43:39
  But I couldn't even hold that bottle up
• 43:41
  It's too heavy for me now
• 43:43
  And so I had to leave circus life
• 43:47
  And I porked your grandma
• 43:50
  And she had your mom
• 43:51
  Your grandpa?
• 43:53
  Yes
• 43:54
  Was there any connection between the bearded woman and grandma?
• 44:03
  I won't say whether she shaved and became your grandmother or not.
• 44:09
  I want to respect the memory of your grandmother's constant waxing.
• 44:18
  So, anyway, that's the story of how I joined the circus.
• 44:24
  Hey, Grandpa?
• 44:26
  Uh-huh. Yes, Devin?
• 44:28
  Are you getting all tuckered out now?
• 44:30
  Yeah, I just have one more question.
• 44:31
  Yeah.
• 44:33
  Can you put your penis away?
• 44:39
  Huh.
• 44:40
  Yeah.
• 44:41
  The princess didn't lie, it turns out.
• 44:43
  She didn't, well, you know.
• 44:46
  All right.
• 44:47
  I think that wraps up
• 44:49
  The Princess Lied.
• 44:51
  it's hard for a young man to question grandpa sometimes i know
• 45:00
  i understand um sometimes your whole framework of like your familial tree
• 45:07
  hinges on accepting some pretty ludicrous stuff yeah but you know that's part of the beauty of
• 45:16
  being young and innocent is that, uh, be lied to. Yeah. Yeah. That you can be lied to, but you also,
• 45:25
  you need to have that kind of faith. You do, you do need to have that kind of faith.
• 45:33
  Okay. I've got it. You've got that kind of faith. I have it in you. Thank you. Yeah.
• 45:38
  Well, yeah, because otherwise, yeah, if you, that that's the end of innocence. Once you start
• 45:44
  questioning. I 100%. I don't want to live in a world where I'm questioning things. I want things
• 45:48
  don't want to trust that things are true. Yeah. Cause once that goes away, like what do you have?
• 45:57
  Yeah. Then you might as well just be, just be cloistered in your own ivory tower.
• 46:07
  Yeah. Just up there alone. Totally.
• 46:12
  not trusting anyone
• 46:14
  100%
• 46:18
  okay
• 46:21
  so glad we've
• 46:24
  been philosophical here for a moment
• 46:27
  well some people need to hear it
• 46:29
  yeah
• 46:29
  have a little faith people
• 46:32
  have a little faith in me
• 46:35
  that's a real song
• 46:37
  yeah I know
• 46:38
  it was featured in look who's talking
• 46:40
  now with the dogs.
• 46:44
  I did not see any of those.
• 46:45
  It was cute when they played it.
• 46:47
  I think it's probably in a lot of
• 46:49
  I think it's in a lot of movies.
• 46:52
  Okay.
• 46:53
  But I'm glad that that's the one that you remember it from.
• 46:56
  Yeah, there's no reason to be antagonistic.
• 46:58
  Okay.
• 47:00
  It's time for
• 47:02
  our final segment.
• 47:06
  The Big Question.
• 47:07
  The question is very big.
• 47:15
  Okay.
• 47:17
  Okay, Candice.
• 47:20
  Okay, here's a question.
• 47:21
  Okay.
• 47:23
  Oh God, I didn't even ask you if you had to.
• 47:25
  I'm glad we've reached the point in the podcast
• 47:28
  where it's just assumed I'm not doing any of it.
• 47:30
  Yeah, cool.
• 47:31
  No, I got one.
• 47:32
  Look at me, I got one.
• 47:36
  Okay.
• 47:36
  Okay, so here it is. Here's my big question.
• 47:40
  Have you heard the phrase magnum opus?
• 47:44
  Yes, I have.
• 47:45
  How would you define it?
• 47:47
  That's not the question.
• 47:49
  I would define it as like your big defining work.
• 47:56
  Someone's big defining.
• 47:57
  Yeah, that's my understanding too.
• 47:59
  Okay.
• 48:00
  Oh my God, I just got so scared I saw a man.
• 48:02
  Yeah.
• 48:05
  Is he holding a chicken? No.
• 48:06
  so like
• 48:13
  if you could pick any medium
• 48:16
  and be like
• 48:18
  renowned in whatever medium you chose
• 48:21
  first of all I want to know what it is
• 48:25
  or what it would be
• 48:25
  and what work or product or whatever
• 48:28
  would you produce that you would leave behind
• 48:30
  as like your defining masterpiece
• 48:32
  or magnum opus
• 48:34
  this is a lot of pressure because
• 48:38
  I mean I would still theoretically like to
• 48:42
  work in this medium so you're basically telling me to create
• 48:45
  create something
• 48:48
  I know what you're saying but something else
• 48:52
  wait okay so something that like not like that I actually
• 48:56
  like an alternate medium of some kind
• 48:59
  I'll go first so you can have my example
• 49:01
  I am in awe of people who draw or paint.
• 49:07
  And I just think it's so amazing.
• 49:09
  I even watch them from the beginning sometimes,
• 49:11
  and I'm like, I don't know how you just pulled that shape out of nothing.
• 49:15
  And then shaded it, and like, oh my god, now it's amazing.
• 49:18
  So I would love to be able to do that.
• 49:22
  And I would say that my defining work would be a mural
• 49:27
  that is in like a famous location,
• 49:30
  like a big location that's never going to come down.
• 49:34
  Yeah.
• 49:35
  You know, so it's like, that covers the whole thing,
• 49:36
  but like, it's like stunningly beautiful.
• 49:39
  Like, you know those paintings that
• 49:40
  when you turn the lights down,
• 49:43
  it changes the lighting of the painting?
• 49:46
  Like, and it looks amazing.
• 49:47
  Yeah.
• 49:47
  Like, there could be like a candle burning,
• 49:49
  and then when the lights go down in the room,
• 49:51
  you can see the glow of the candle on people's faces.
• 49:53
  Oh, yeah.
• 49:54
  I want to be like, that good.
• 49:55
  like Caravaggio good? Caravaggio was really great with, with light and shadows.
• 50:01
  Oh, I'll have to check out their work. I'm not sure I'm familiar.
• 50:05
  He's an Italian, uh, Renaissance painter, but he, I feel like I, I have seen, well,
• 50:14
  I'm sure that I've seen a disproportionate number of Caravaggios, uh, in my life because, um,
• 50:20
  when we were
• 50:21
  when I was
• 50:22
  in high school
• 50:24
  and then my family went to we went to we were living in Dublin it made it really easy to go to other places in Europe obviously So we went to Rome for a trip
• 50:35
  And there are Caravaggios all over Rome,
• 50:39
  like in just like random little churches.
• 50:41
  So my mom would drag us to just like,
• 50:42
  you just like walk into a church and there'd just be one on the wall.
• 50:45
  And so I've probably seen like 30 original Caravaggios.
• 50:49
  That's pretty amazing.
• 50:50
  Yeah.
• 50:51
  But he's great.
• 50:52
  Yeah, you'll like it.
• 50:53
  You'll check.
• 50:53
  He's great with light and shadow.
• 50:56
  Well, and you obviously, it touched you.
• 50:59
  You remember it.
• 51:01
  Yeah.
• 51:01
  So that's the kind of effect I would want to have.
• 51:03
  Yeah.
• 51:04
  Like, here's a cool thing I saw one time.
• 51:06
  My grandma took me to the museum.
• 51:08
  I think the exhibit's still up.
• 51:10
  But it was like a church got hit by lightning and was exploded.
• 51:14
  Like a small church.
• 51:15
  And they took the charcoal pieces and they made a 3D art installation
• 51:21
  that hangs in the museum.
• 51:22
  but it's like a big cube
• 51:25
  where it's big pieces and it goes to smaller
• 51:27
  vice versa, I don't remember.
• 51:28
  But I still remember seeing it and being like, wow.
• 51:30
  That's cool.
• 51:31
  Somebody did this.
• 51:33
  Who did this?
• 51:37
  Okay.
• 51:38
  So, all right.
• 51:39
  A medium that I
• 51:41
  really don't have any practical ambitions
• 51:46
  to succeed in.
• 51:48
  Basically, you could wake up tomorrow
• 51:50
  and be like an eminent doer of something.
• 51:54
  I think I would want to be an architect.
• 51:56
  Oh, yeah.
• 51:57
  Like design like a really, like really gorgeous house
• 52:01
  like that really does perfectly like play with like nature and light
• 52:05
  and just like when you see like a really like beautifully designed,
• 52:12
  like there's like perfect wood and like the landscaping outside
• 52:16
  is like very reflective of,
• 52:20
  like I want it to be something
• 52:21
  beautifully integrated with nature.
• 52:24
  Like, oh, I would love to be able to build something
• 52:27
  in the side of a cave.
• 52:29
  Or some of the cave is in the house.
• 52:30
  Some of the cave is in the house.
• 52:32
  God, I want that so badly.
• 52:35
  I just thought it'd be really cool
• 52:35
  to have a house with a tree coming out the ground.
• 52:39
  Yeah, that would be great too.
• 52:40
  I've seen those on the outside of the house
• 52:42
  where they have the overhanging,
• 52:44
  like, I call it a patio, but it doesn't look like a regular patio because it's like a super
• 52:48
  nice house. But there's like a cutout for a palm tree that's growing underneath it.
• 52:52
  And so it's like the trees are like in the structure, but they're still out
• 52:56
  of the house. Great answer. And I have some artwork for
• 53:00
  you. Oh, great. Yeah. So then like,
• 53:03
  what's, yeah, something in the side of a cave.
• 53:07
  I freaking love that. I want that badly.
• 53:10
  um yeah like really great like atriums oh yeah the like where it's like great sunlight coming in
• 53:22
  but it's like really like where every every room maximizes like where the light will be
• 53:29
  at a different time of day and even like different times of year so like
• 53:33
  when the sunlight's gonna come in like you know how like in like wintertime the sun
• 53:37
  it is just like in a different position in the sky
• 53:41
  than in the summertime.
• 53:44
  Famously gains weight.
• 53:46
  Yeah, gets a little hippie in the winter.
• 53:48
  It's fine.
• 53:49
  It's fine, we all do.
• 53:50
  Keep shining.
• 53:51
  It's sweater season.
• 53:52
  We can cover up a few of our floss.
• 53:53
  And hey, summer bodies are built in the winter.
• 53:56
  Yeah, that's true.
• 53:58
  It's a good way to look at it.
• 54:01
  Nice spin on that, Joe.
• 54:02
  I appreciate that.
• 54:03
  I love Joe.
• 54:05
  Joe's great.
• 54:07
  Um, that's okay. You're welcome.
• 54:12
  Uh, yeah, something like that. So then in like,
• 54:14
  so then like the light in winter in a certain room would be different than it
• 54:18
  would be a light in summer. And then like, so like the color, like,
• 54:21
  like you were talking about like where the colors like would look different.
• 54:23
  Like you'd pick up different natural vibes. It would get like warmer,
• 54:27
  like the wood would look warmer in the winter to help it feel like warmer in
• 54:31
  the room. Will you make me a golden hour room? Yes. A hundred percent. Yes.
• 54:36
  which I saw something the other day
• 54:38
  that made me think of you.
• 54:39
  It was like the difference of orange curtains
• 54:41
  and it showed like a room with just regular curtains
• 54:43
  and then it had a room that had like orange
• 54:45
  like gauzy curtains and it made the whole room
• 54:47
  look like golden hour.
• 54:48
  Oh my God.
• 54:49
  It made me think of you.
• 54:50
  Wow, thanks.
• 54:51
  Because it's like, well then it's like golden hour
• 54:52
  all the time in your room.
• 54:54
  Okay, send it to me next time.
• 54:55
  Okay, I will.
• 54:57
  Anyway, I think that's what I would do
• 54:59
  because I find that like just wildly impressive
• 55:02
  and just like,
• 55:03
  and building something like that
• 55:06
  that someone lives in
• 55:08
  is like crazy
• 55:09
  because having a space
• 55:11
  that just feels so relaxing
• 55:14
  and restorative
• 55:15
  would be kind of amazing.
• 55:17
  Did you know that I used to draw floor plans
• 55:19
  as a child?
• 55:20
  No.
• 55:20
  I still have them.
• 55:21
  I wanted to be an architect.
• 55:24
  But when I was a kid
• 55:26
  I really wanted to do that.
• 55:27
  And so I would draw floor plans all the time.
• 55:29
  I still have some.
• 55:30
  Oh, I want to see them.
• 55:31
  I'll show them to you sometime.
• 55:32
  We'll put them on the website.
• 55:33
  Oh, great, yes.
• 55:34
  Yeah, go to veryfinefriends.com
• 55:36
  to see Francis' floor plans,
• 55:39
  or we'll put them on social media, too,
• 55:41
  at veryfinefriends.
• 55:43
  Cool, yeah.
• 55:45
  That's definitely what I would want to do.
• 55:47
  I like that a lot.
• 55:48
  It's a good legacy.
• 55:50
  I like seeing, I love in the Met in New York,
• 55:53
  there's a room that Frank Lloyd Wright designed.
• 55:58
  He was pretty great.
• 55:59
  I don't care that he's popular.
• 56:01
  some people think he's overrated
• 56:05
  because so many people like him
• 56:07
  I love his work
• 56:09
  I do too, I'm sorry
• 56:10
  he's popular for a reason
• 56:11
  I love that mid-century
• 56:15
  stuff
• 56:16
  I think there's a house, I see it for sale sometimes in PV
• 56:19
  it's like a round
• 56:20
  there's definitely houses around here that are
• 56:23
  Frank Lloyd Wright houses
• 56:25
  that would be cool
• 56:27
  some of them look like he phoned it a little bit
• 56:29
  I'm not giving you my A work
• 56:31
  It was a ghost designer.
• 56:32
  Yeah.
• 56:34
  I definitely read a Dean Kuntz novel where I'm like,
• 56:36
  what is this shit?
• 56:37
  Well, yeah, I think they did do that.
• 56:40
  Well, at least according to the book The Fountainhead,
• 56:42
  that would be like, an architect has his office
• 56:44
  and then he hires people to work within his aesthetic
• 56:48
  so that people are getting his work-ish.
• 56:50
  I don't know how I feel about that.
• 56:52
  I mean, I get it, I guess.
• 56:53
  I'm okay with it.
• 56:54
  I mean, if he still has to approve every, I don't know.
• 56:59
  well in the fountainhead work overshadowed
• 57:03
  is anyway it doesn't matter
• 57:05
  yeah that would be that to be what I'd do
• 57:10
  Joe do you have an answer to this question
• 57:12
  I was just thinking about that
• 57:14
  I enjoy playing piano and I enjoy making music
• 57:20
  I enjoy singing I'm not like super amazing
• 57:23
  at any of those things enough to justify
• 57:26
  like a career
• 57:27
  like I've seen people who are just really good at like
• 57:30
  taking like a MIDI keyboard
• 57:32
  or like an instrument and just like
• 57:34
  fooling around
• 57:37
  with it but it doesn't seem like they're fooling
• 57:38
  around it seems like this is something that they
• 57:40
  rehearsed many times
• 57:42
  I always thought that that was
• 57:44
  really impressive but also love to be
• 57:46
  an architect I think in terms
• 57:48
  of like hearing an
• 57:50
  artist describe their art
• 57:52
  the one that I would most want to hear is an architect
• 57:54
  talking about the place that they built
• 57:56
  rather than a painter who painted a picture.
• 57:59
  Not that that isn't also cool, but like...
• 58:01
  Oof, we got another oof.
• 58:03
  I'm just saying.
• 58:05
  I also would put a lot of hidden,
• 58:07
  fun hidden rooms and stuff.
• 58:11
  I'd also be playful with it.
• 58:13
  Jenna's hidden Mickey's.
• 58:17
  Yeah, because that's fun too.
• 58:20
  Yeah.
• 58:21
  And you could solve every like...
• 58:24
  like practical issue that you've ever had,
• 58:26
  like living in a house,
• 58:27
  you know,
• 58:28
  where it's like,
• 58:29
  I need like,
• 58:30
  have you seen these kitchens where they had like a kitchen,
• 58:32
  they're like a back kitchen,
• 58:33
  like right next to it,
• 58:34
  but you don't see it.
• 58:35
  It's like kind of hidden,
• 58:35
  but it's where you can do all your like prep stuff.
• 58:37
  It's like,
• 58:38
  add that,
• 58:39
  make your laundry room the right size.
• 58:40
  Like I need tubes flowing throughout my house that provide different liquids.
• 58:45
  Oh no,
• 58:45
  I have an elderly person that needs a cable system that they can move around.
• 58:49
  Yeah.
• 58:50
  Oh man,
• 58:50
  you'd go wild customizing.
• 58:53
  Yeah,
• 58:53
  for sure.
• 58:53
  Yeah.
• 58:54
  Francis built one house.
• 58:57
  It looks like a laundromat.
• 58:58
  It's a natural exhibit.
• 59:01
  People just come and look at it because it's so crazy.
• 59:03
  Wait, what was that thing where you wanted to have a corner of the house
• 59:07
  that was like a corner of a room that was like a hidden room?
• 59:12
  Yeah, for holiday stuff.
• 59:14
  Right, for holiday stuff.
• 59:15
  So you could push the button and it would turn around
• 59:18
  and the tree would be there.
• 59:19
  Yes, but again, I maintain people would notice
• 59:21
  there is just a corner of the room carved out
• 59:23
  that they couldn't get to. But anyway.
• 59:26
  But maybe I'm wrong.
• 59:27
  A really great architect, Francis, could make that
• 59:29
  happen. Make it look seamless. You just don't see what I see.
• 59:32
  Yeah, exactly.
• 59:34
  Said the Francis
• 59:35
  to the little tubes.
• 59:40
  Ah, yeah.
• 59:41
  Yeah. Just if I could say something really quick.
• 59:44
  Yeah. Sugar crush.
• 59:47
  It's better than what I was
• 59:48
  really going to say, which was, picture
• 59:49
  a mantle in a fireplace. Yeah.
• 59:51
  and it's electric.
• 59:55
  It's an electric fireplace
• 59:56
  and that's what turns
• 59:59
  the whole like where the section of the wall is
• 1:00:01
  with the fireplace. It looks
• 1:00:03
  like a fireplace, but it's electric
• 1:00:04
  and then you turn it around and
• 1:00:07
  then it's the tree. So that's
• 1:00:09
  how it's seamless. It doesn't have to be in the corner. I just want to
• 1:00:11
  clear that up because it's
• 1:00:13
  a good idea. I still don't
• 1:00:15
  get it. I mean, I feel like if the
• 1:00:17
  Nazis in Indiana Jones
• 1:00:18
  three can do it,
• 1:00:20
  you can do it.
• 1:00:22
  Thanks. Just so we're clear, I do not take my inspiration
• 1:00:25
  from the Nazis.
• 1:00:28
  But that was a pretty
• 1:00:28
  sick revolving fireplace that they had.
• 1:00:31
  Yeah. Well, they're not getting credit for this.
• 1:00:33
  This is mine.
• 1:00:34
  Mine.
• 1:00:37
  Anyway.
• 1:00:39
  It's mine.
• 1:00:41
  We have fun with Nazis.
• 1:00:43
  Anyway,
• 1:00:44
  I think
• 1:00:46
  we've, this is very inspiring.
• 1:00:48
  Can I just say that the tone of this episode, to me, is very nice, very chill.
• 1:00:55
  Yeah.
• 1:00:55
  You know, I like that.
• 1:00:56
  It has been chill.
• 1:00:59
  Thanks for being chill.
• 1:01:01
  Yeah.
• 1:01:04
  It's so chill, in fact, that I've forgotten that I should be paying attention for secret words.
• 1:01:10
  But we'll get to that in a minute.
• 1:01:12
  Well.
• 1:01:13
  I think we've answered the big question.
• 1:01:17
  The big question.
• 1:01:17
  All right, now's the time for secret words.
• 1:01:21
  And I feel like you're going to make up a lot of ground,
• 1:01:24
  and I feel like I'm not going to make up any ground.
• 1:01:27
  I mean, I guess I'm going to cede a lot of ground here,
• 1:01:31
  because I think I'm in the lead.
• 1:01:32
  Okay, well then I hope that's true.
• 1:01:36
  All right, let me just get this out of the way.
• 1:01:39
  Okay.
• 1:01:40
  Hit me.
• 1:01:41
  I hope this isn't your word, because I just said it.
• 1:01:43
  Is it chill?
• 1:01:45
  No.
• 1:01:45
  Okay.
• 1:01:46
  Is your word tongue?
• 1:01:47
  no it's your word race no your word penis you said penis no no you you said how did you assume
• 1:01:59
  his gender and then i said oh oh yeah that was fine i really led this horse to water penis water
• 1:02:05
  all right my last guess is your word antagonistic decoy
• 1:02:13
  no i was so worried about that too damn damn damn damn all right good guesses my word was
• 1:02:24
  masterpiece
• 1:02:25
  what so you said it what what what what would be your master what are you talking
• 1:02:35
  your magnum opus what would be your oh i did good you did really good because it was part of
• 1:02:42
  the secret was part of the question dang well there's at least one point for you for guessing
• 1:02:50
  for me guessing your decoy word now now here's where we went into trouble because
• 1:02:56
  you did something i know you know what you did and i'm trying to decide were you repeating this
• 1:03:02
  word to lure me to your decoy or were you repeating this word to act nonchalant that it may be
• 1:03:08
  You know what I mean?
• 1:03:11
  So I'm going to hold off on that one.
• 1:03:13
  Oh, and then there was that stupid R word.
• 1:03:17
  Hey, don't call me that.
• 1:03:19
  Okay.
• 1:03:20
  Let me just start over here.
• 1:03:21
  Was your word, side note?
• 1:03:23
  No.
• 1:03:27
  Was your word pergola?
• 1:03:28
  No.
• 1:03:29
  Was it gondola?
• 1:03:31
  No, it was not gondola.
• 1:03:32
  Okay, I thought you were pulling a Francis.
• 1:03:37
  Stenographer?
• 1:03:38
  Nope.
• 1:03:39
  Legacy.
• 1:03:40
  Nope.
• 1:03:49
  Fortify.
• 1:03:50
  No.
• 1:03:52
  Was it fortified?
• 1:03:53
  Nope.
• 1:03:53
  Okay.
• 1:03:54
  Did you do that on purpose?
• 1:03:55
  No.
• 1:03:55
  Okay.
• 1:03:56
  Just happened?
• 1:03:56
  Mm-hmm.
• 1:03:57
  Okay.
• 1:03:57
  Here, I'm getting sweaty.
• 1:04:00
  Mom's spaghetti.
• 1:04:02
  Yes, it was mom's spaghetti.
• 1:04:04
  Was it primary?
• 1:04:05
  No.
• 1:04:05
  was it prophecy no i knew you were gonna write that down okay here i'm getting real nervous i
• 1:04:15
  got three guesses should i could just stop yeah
• 1:04:19
  was your word foisted no whoo scary
• 1:04:32
  oh boy all right
• 1:04:36
  cloistered
• 1:04:43
  that's my word
• 1:04:45
  I repeated it
• 1:04:50
  because I wanted you to I saw you
• 1:04:52
  write it down okay calm down
• 1:04:54
  audience I
• 1:04:56
  wanted you to think I
• 1:04:58
  was trying to make it my decoy
• 1:05:00
  word because i saw you write it down when i said it initially and i was like damn it i need to make
• 1:05:06
  this more awkward so he doubts was your decoy word reconnoiter reconnoiter no no why the fuck did you
• 1:05:15
  say because it's a funny word never heard it before in my life uh no now you know how we feel
• 1:05:21
  with those Arcadia doors, Francis.
• 1:05:23
  Yeah.
• 1:05:25
  No, my word was cloistered.
• 1:05:28
  God.
• 1:05:29
  It's okay.
• 1:05:30
  I die when I win.
• 1:05:32
  So you got that.
• 1:05:33
  Damn.
• 1:05:34
  Yes.
• 1:05:35
  You're plus three.
• 1:05:37
  No, my decoy word was accordance.
• 1:05:40
  So you got the wrong part of what I was trying to get.
• 1:05:43
  I said in accordance with the prophecy.
• 1:05:45
  Oh.
• 1:05:46
  And you picked prophecy instead of accordance.
• 1:05:48
  I never would have chosen.
• 1:05:49
  I would never would have written that down.
• 1:05:50
  That seems too normal to me.
• 1:05:52
  Accordance?
• 1:05:52
  Yeah.
• 1:05:53
  Oh, that's good to know.
• 1:05:55
  Wow.
• 1:05:56
  Okay.
• 1:05:57
  Cool.
• 1:05:58
  What a frustrating, well.
• 1:06:00
  Don't be frustrated.
• 1:06:02
  I'm glad you, after last week and then today,
• 1:06:06
  it feels like you're back on the secret words train.
• 1:06:09
  I'm back.
• 1:06:09
  Now that you're probably winning again,
• 1:06:12
  I think you might be winning.
• 1:06:13
  All right.
• 1:06:14
  I won't have to.
• 1:06:15
  You've got good things going on too.
• 1:06:17
  Do I?
• 1:06:18
  You do.
• 1:06:18
  Well, go to veryfinefriends.com, check out our point total.
• 1:06:25
  Also, check out Francis' floor plans.
• 1:06:28
  Yeah, asterisk, if I can find them.
• 1:06:30
  Right, but if he can, they'll be there.
• 1:06:33
  Maybe I'll draw one sloppily and see if I can pass it off as a child's floor plan.
• 1:06:39
  You didn't use graph paper to do that?
• 1:06:42
  I used to use graph paper.
• 1:06:43
  I used sketch paper and just sometimes regular line paper.
• 1:06:45
  I used to use graph paper to make floor plans too.
• 1:06:49
  Like everything had to be perfect and proportional.
• 1:06:52
  I did use rulers when I got to a certain point.
• 1:06:54
  But the graph paper was nice because they were equal units.
• 1:06:58
  You could measure out a room.
• 1:06:59
  Ooh, I should start that.
• 1:07:00
  Maybe that's the hobby I'll get into.
• 1:07:02
  Nice.
• 1:07:02
  All right, well, I look forward to it.
• 1:07:06
  Bye.
• 1:07:15
  you