Latest / You Minding Your Own Business / Episode 76- My Pre-conversation with Amy Kemp about Balancing Being a Working Woman and a Wife and Kids.

Transcript

Episode 76- My Pre-conversation with Amy Kemp about Balancing Being a Working Woman and a Wife and Kids. · You Minding Your Own Business

0:01
Speaker 1: All right, mss amy Camp, tell me about you your
0:05
Speaker 1: journey and how you got to being this successful woman
0:09
Speaker 1: that you are helping others when it comes to business
0:13
Speaker 1: and being successful.
0:16
Speaker 2: So I grew up just outside of Chicago. I went
0:22
Speaker 2: to school to be a teacher, and I was a
0:26
Speaker 2: high school English teacher for a short stint of about
0:30
Speaker 2: five years before I started a business on the side
0:36
Speaker 2: that I just thought would be kind of a side
0:39
Speaker 2: gig and grew into my full time work. So essentially,
0:44
Speaker 2: I worked in sales leadership for twenty years. During that time,
0:53
Speaker 2: got married and had three children, and that business was
0:59
Speaker 2: very success well. I was leading a very large team
1:06
Speaker 2: that was the number one team in the country. When
1:12
Speaker 2: I started to just feel vacant in that world, it felt,
1:20
Speaker 2: I don't know, I couldn't get the same energy I
1:23
Speaker 2: once had around things, and I at the same time,
1:26
Speaker 2: it started to have a lot of conversations with women
1:29
Speaker 2: who I knew who were experiencing a lot of the
1:32
Speaker 2: same things. They were exhausted by the demands of their
1:36
Speaker 2: work and home lives. They were isolated, maybe in a
1:42
Speaker 2: leadership role where they didn't have a lot of people
1:43
Speaker 2: to talk to you, And I just started to have
1:46
Speaker 2: this nudge that I was supposed to work with women
1:49
Speaker 2: in another context, and so nine years ago I accidentally
1:53
Speaker 2: started a business that grew quickly, very very quickly. Now
1:58
Speaker 2: has been my full time work for over seven years,
2:01
Speaker 2: where I work with women in one on one or
2:04
Speaker 2: small group engagements with their subconscious habits of thinking that
2:09
Speaker 2: are creating resistance in their lives, particularly in their careers,
2:13
Speaker 2: in their relationships, their relationships with money, and in creating
2:19
Speaker 2: what they want to in their lives.
2:22
Speaker 1: I love that, And it's kind of funny because it's
2:25
Speaker 1: like when I lost my job, it was kind of
2:29
Speaker 1: opposite for me. It was one of those things where
2:32
Speaker 1: I got tired of working. When I started doing medical
2:36
Speaker 1: billion coding, it was like I was so excited, you know,
2:41
Speaker 1: because when I was a kid, we were told, Okay,
2:43
Speaker 1: you go to college, you get an education, you'll get
2:46
Speaker 1: a good paying job. But now in the medical field,
2:49
Speaker 1: it's more so going through staffing companies more so than
2:52
Speaker 1: getting hired.
2:54
Speaker 3: And it's really hard.
2:56
Speaker 1: Because you don't get PTO, you don't get sickly, you
2:59
Speaker 1: don't get all of these things. And it's just like
3:03
Speaker 1: when that happened to me, it was like, I don't
3:07
Speaker 1: want to work for anybody. And then when my dad
3:10
Speaker 1: passed away in February of this year, it was like
3:13
Speaker 1: a double whomen and then watching what we had to
3:17
Speaker 1: go through as far as his retirement, finding out we
3:20
Speaker 1: couldn't get it social Security because we're adults, finding out
3:23
Speaker 1: that he was paying taxes, and his retirement, and then
3:27
Speaker 1: everything with the house and not having any will and
3:29
Speaker 1: testament or any trust, and then learning about the real
3:34
Speaker 1: estate and.
3:36
Speaker 3: Learning about the doing whether we should do a state.
3:43
Speaker 1: I remember we talked to someone about that and they said, well,
3:45
Speaker 1: he doesn't have enough to really do in a state,
3:48
Speaker 1: but you can do something about the real estate where
3:50
Speaker 1: he won't have to do in a state because it
3:51
Speaker 1: wouldn't be a point because you guys would be responsible
3:55
Speaker 1: for everything.
3:57
Speaker 3: It made me question everything.
4:00
Speaker 1: It made me say, do I want to work for
4:06
Speaker 1: someone where I have to worry about the rug being
4:09
Speaker 1: pulled from up under me? Or do I want to
4:11
Speaker 1: work for myself to where I'm able to build something
4:15
Speaker 1: that lives past me.
4:17
Speaker 3: My son is my only descendant.
4:18
Speaker 1: He's autistic, and I said, I want something that lives
4:21
Speaker 1: past me. And so I told my mom, I said,
4:24
Speaker 1: I don't want to work for nobody anymore. I want
4:27
Speaker 1: to build something to where I can help people to
4:31
Speaker 1: heal in all aspects because financial recovery is hard because
4:39
Speaker 1: it's like every time you lose.
4:41
Speaker 3: Your job, the rug is pulled from up under you.
4:44
Speaker 1: You have kids take care of, and then you feel
4:47
Speaker 1: bad because I remember when I was in daycare. Long
4:50
Speaker 1: story short, I was in daycare, and I remember this
4:52
Speaker 1: one lady dropped her child off. He cried from the
4:57
Speaker 1: moment she left him to the moment that she picked
5:00
Speaker 1: him up. And she said when we finally told her
5:03
Speaker 1: we couldn't keep him because he just it wouldn't stop crying,
5:07
Speaker 1: she said, I'm not even surprised, she said, this is
5:10
Speaker 1: just sign that I need to be there with him.
5:13
Speaker 1: She said, but at least I tried. And it's really
5:16
Speaker 1: hard being a mom because you want to be there
5:19
Speaker 1: for those moments. You want to be there when they
5:23
Speaker 1: have sports and all these events, and you're like, I
5:27
Speaker 1: can't because I have to take care of a family.
5:30
Speaker 1: Especially for single mothers, it's even harder trying to figure
5:35
Speaker 1: it out. And then you with me having a child
5:37
Speaker 1: with a disability, I had to base my whole entire
5:40
Speaker 1: schedule around making sure that he was situated, and he
5:45
Speaker 1: didn't get cat services until he was twenty eight.
5:49
Speaker 3: So imagine your child.
5:51
Speaker 1: Doesn't have services and you have a child with a disability,
5:55
Speaker 1: and you're still trying to only try to not only
5:58
Speaker 1: figure that out, you're also trying to figure out your
6:01
Speaker 1: own self. And then I have my son when I
6:02
Speaker 1: was twenty two, so it was like really a lot
6:06
Speaker 1: to maneuver.
6:07
Speaker 2: Yeah, how old is your son now?
6:09
Speaker 3: Thirty? He's thirty? So what I mean? Jalen?
6:15
Speaker 2: Jalen? I love it?
6:16
Speaker 3: Yeah, so it was it was definitely him.
6:19
Speaker 2: What does he tell me about Jalen? What are his interests?
6:22
Speaker 2: And you know, what is he like at thirty?
6:26
Speaker 1: He loves video games. He's with his cap service working now.
6:31
Speaker 1: She takes him to the food bank. He's on two
6:33
Speaker 1: bowling leagues as of right now. He's like one of
6:37
Speaker 1: the most sweetest kids in the world. And when I
6:39
Speaker 1: first found out that he was autistic, it was like
6:43
Speaker 1: a punch to the gut because when he was born,
6:48
Speaker 1: the ubilical corporate around his neck and so when he
6:51
Speaker 1: and he wouldn't come out. I was eight and a
6:53
Speaker 1: half months pregnant and bleeding. I thought I was going
6:56
Speaker 1: to lose him, and when he came out, he wasn't.
6:58
Speaker 1: He wasn't screaming, hear anything, But then I could see
7:02
Speaker 1: him moving, but I couldn't hear him.
7:04
Speaker 3: And then finally he started screaming. And so he was
7:08
Speaker 3: four months when he got his hepatitis shots.
7:12
Speaker 1: After that he stopped talking completely, and I said, something's
7:17
Speaker 1: wrong here. He should be talking, he should be doing
7:21
Speaker 1: certain things, and he's not. And we found out when
7:25
Speaker 1: he was two and a half that he was autistic.
7:27
Speaker 1: And it was just like, what did I do wrong?
7:33
Speaker 1: How could this have happened to me? And mind you,
7:36
Speaker 1: this was nineteen ninety six when autism first became a thing,
7:41
Speaker 1: and it was like, what do I do with this?
7:44
Speaker 1: Everything that I had planned for my child, everything that
7:46
Speaker 1: I thought, is completely different than what is going to be.
7:54
Speaker 1: But then I said, I can either sit with this
7:57
Speaker 1: or I can not let this define him.
8:02
Speaker 3: Started doing my research and I realized.
8:04
Speaker 1: That one sided to bring kind of functions different than
8:09
Speaker 1: the other. And for some of them it can be
8:13
Speaker 1: where they can do simple things but can't do difficult things.
8:16
Speaker 3: He's the opposite.
8:17
Speaker 1: He can do difficult things, but some of the simple
8:20
Speaker 1: things he cannot do, but it took a lot of
8:25
Speaker 1: I'm not going to put them on written and I'm
8:28
Speaker 1: going to work on the consequences, repercussions and karma of everything,
8:34
Speaker 1: because I said, that's the most important thing. Everything else
8:38
Speaker 1: will come within time. But as watching him grow up,
8:43
Speaker 1: it taught me something. It taught me patience. It taught
8:47
Speaker 1: me that I'm not perfect at everything. Let me see
8:52
Speaker 1: what I'm not good at.
8:53
Speaker 3: The times where I don't feel i'm good enough.
8:56
Speaker 1: I look at him and I see how he tries
8:59
Speaker 1: every day, and I say, I can do this.
9:05
Speaker 3: I can do this because I have to.
9:08
Speaker 1: You know. I feel like that as he's grown, his
9:12
Speaker 1: mind is slowly catching up within itself. Because I said,
9:18
Speaker 1: I don't care about all the other stuff. I just
9:21
Speaker 1: want him to learn how to live in the world
9:23
Speaker 1: where he can be able to communicate, he'll be able
9:26
Speaker 1: to function, he'll be able to do things. And as
9:30
Speaker 1: he learns those skills, then we can say, Okay, do
9:34
Speaker 1: you want to go back to school, Do you want
9:36
Speaker 1: to do this? Do you want to do that? Do
9:37
Speaker 1: you want to start dating? Do you want to do this?
9:40
Speaker 1: And he's like no, and I'm like okay. But I
9:44
Speaker 1: told him one thing that was important. I said, when
9:47
Speaker 1: you do something wrong, I said, if somebody hurts your feelings,
9:50
Speaker 1: you have every right to express your feelings. But when
9:53
Speaker 1: you're wrong, you have to take everything that come with that.
9:57
Speaker 1: You just can't say because it his disability, this is
10:01
Speaker 1: why you did it.
10:02
Speaker 3: No, there are consequences.
10:04
Speaker 1: So people are really surprised how smart he is because
10:09
Speaker 1: his cap service worker says.
10:11
Speaker 3: He's so well mannered. I said, I have no problems
10:14
Speaker 3: with him.
10:15
Speaker 1: He doesn't act out, he doesn't do anything. I said,
10:19
Speaker 1: I spent years trying to learn how to communicate with.
10:23
Speaker 3: Him, how to, you know, get him to speak. Now
10:27
Speaker 3: he talks now.
10:28
Speaker 1: He still has a hard time processing certain things. But
10:33
Speaker 1: I give him time. Tell him take his time to
10:35
Speaker 1: slow down because his mind go. I can tell when
10:38
Speaker 1: he's thinking and he has all these thoughts going through
10:41
Speaker 1: his head and it's hard to process. I said, slow
10:43
Speaker 1: down and just taking one step at a time. So
10:46
Speaker 1: he knows now to say, Okay, Mommy, I don't like this, Mommy,
10:52
Speaker 1: I had a good day at school. Mommy, I had
10:54
Speaker 1: a good day at this I never pushed it any
10:57
Speaker 1: further than that. That was the most import thing that
11:00
Speaker 1: I learned, which incorporates now my business now because of that.
11:07
Speaker 2: Yes, I love it.
11:10
Speaker 1: So as far as your three, what was the transition
11:13
Speaker 1: like for you being that you were three children and
11:17
Speaker 1: a husband and then trying to balance all of that
11:21
Speaker 1: out as far as trying to manage all of that,
11:28
Speaker 1: what was that like for you because you have three?
11:31
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean I would say that our kids do
11:39
Speaker 2: teach us, don't they. They They oftentimes rub up against
11:46
Speaker 2: the parts of us that need to be softened a
11:49
Speaker 2: little bit or changed or to be given a different perspective.
11:55
Speaker 2: If I were to look back over the years of
11:58
Speaker 2: building a business parenting, I would say the things I
12:02
Speaker 2: did well were I did hold back, like my business
12:12
Speaker 2: grew slower than other people sometimes, or I didn't accomplish
12:16
Speaker 2: as much because there was like a pace that had
12:20
Speaker 2: to be kept so that I could be present after work. Right.
12:25
Speaker 2: But I remember at times being frustrated because people would
12:28
Speaker 2: pass me by. But I was sort of just the tortoise.
12:31
Speaker 2: I was just methodical and consistent over a long period
12:36
Speaker 2: of time instead of like sprinting and then collapsing with exhaustion.
12:41
Speaker 2: I just knew. Sometimes people would say in growing a business, like, oh,
12:46
Speaker 2: there's just a messy season where you know you've just
12:49
Speaker 2: got to say. As a mom, I'm like, I'm not
12:54
Speaker 2: I'm not able to sacrifice three years. I mean, I can't.
12:59
Speaker 2: I don't you know, I don't have the luxury of
13:02
Speaker 2: that I'm not missing three years of my kid's life
13:05
Speaker 2: so that I can grow a business. I needed to
13:08
Speaker 2: always do it at the same time, and some of
13:11
Speaker 2: that unpaid labor caused me to go more slowly. But
13:17
Speaker 2: I feel proud of the choices I made, not perfect,
13:24
Speaker 2: but that I did that with intention and that I
13:27
Speaker 2: really did. I always say, like, if everything is super
13:30
Speaker 2: successful in the end, but I've messed up. You know,
13:36
Speaker 2: those four people that are in the walls of my house,
13:42
Speaker 2: I don't know if I've messed up, but if I
13:44
Speaker 2: haven't shown up at my best for them, none of
13:48
Speaker 2: it matters. None of it matters. So it's been pretty
13:53
Speaker 2: intentional but not easy. And I still have to really
13:57
Speaker 2: work to have boundaries with my work because work always
14:01
Speaker 2: feels easier to me than the home stuff. You know,
14:05
Speaker 2: work is like more controllable, people are more predictable. They
14:09
Speaker 2: like me, they give me good feedback when you're at home.
14:14
Speaker 2: You know, you can't be a profit in your own land.
14:16
Speaker 2: I think that's the saying, yeah, you know, they don't
14:20
Speaker 2: think I'm nearly as cool as everyone else does.
14:24
Speaker 1: Yeah, they'll be like, well, what do you do, mommy?
14:27
Speaker 1: It looks so boring, It looks so boring. I'm like, yeah,
14:32
Speaker 1: no idea. And then what's fun is when I see
14:36
Speaker 1: kids like I see a lot of Asian kids, they
14:39
Speaker 1: be in there in their parents' restaurant, and they work
14:41
Speaker 1: in their parents' restaurants at a very very very young age,
14:47
Speaker 1: and they take on the family business and they even
14:52
Speaker 1: I always tell my niece and nephews, I said, you
14:55
Speaker 1: always want to keep the foundation of what your mom
14:59
Speaker 1: provides for you as a safety net. I said, even
15:03
Speaker 1: if you don't work it, there's someone that can work it.
15:07
Speaker 1: But that should be your safety net, just like this house.
15:10
Speaker 1: And I told my sister, I don't want to sell
15:12
Speaker 1: it because I want this to be their safety net
15:16
Speaker 1: because you never know when something happens and they have
15:21
Speaker 1: to they don't have anywhere to stay, they don't have,
15:25
Speaker 1: you know, things, so you should always have a safety net.
15:28
Speaker 1: And I always tell my niece, a safety net is
15:31
Speaker 1: something that's important.
15:32
Speaker 3: You should have something that is of your own that
15:37
Speaker 3: you always have to come back to.
15:39
Speaker 1: And I tell a lot of when I was in
15:45
Speaker 1: Florida and then now I'm in North Carolina. Now, okay,
15:48
Speaker 1: I'm back helping my mom. Since my father passed, I've
15:51
Speaker 1: been with her, helping her. So I'm kind of like
15:55
Speaker 1: trying to newly structure myself and trying to figure out
16:01
Speaker 1: what this new beginning is going to be with this change.
16:06
Speaker 1: And I feel like my dad is walking with me
16:09
Speaker 1: through this journey, and sometimes I'll be like, can I
16:15
Speaker 1: do this?
16:17
Speaker 3: I'm like, you know, because.
16:18
Speaker 1: When you grew up being told you were never good enough,
16:22
Speaker 1: you were never worthy, and then the person that told
16:27
Speaker 1: you that is gone, it's like you feel this emptiness
16:31
Speaker 1: and now you're trying to build your self esteem again.
16:35
Speaker 3: You're trying to build yourself again.
16:38
Speaker 1: And when I took off the mask, I guess you
16:41
Speaker 1: can say, I'm finally like, what am I good at?
16:46
Speaker 1: When my son turned turned eighteen, I said, what am
16:50
Speaker 1: I going to do?
16:51
Speaker 3: Now he's eighteen? What am I going to do?
16:55
Speaker 1: And so that's when I saw this lady when I
16:58
Speaker 1: started traveling, and that's how I became a travel agent recently.
17:02
Speaker 1: This lady was like, you travel so much, you might
17:05
Speaker 1: as well turn into a business. And then I said, well,
17:08
Speaker 1: I can incorporate in my coaching business because if I
17:11
Speaker 1: do group trips, I can incorporate it. In my business,
17:14
Speaker 1: my jewelry business, I can incorporate it because I can
17:16
Speaker 1: make things that basically can represent something and healing and recovery.
17:21
Speaker 1: So I started branching these different things together, and I'm like, well,
17:26
Speaker 1: I can do these different things and they all can
17:28
Speaker 1: be centered around one thing. So I said, why not
17:33
Speaker 1: do something I love to do that I'm passionate about
17:38
Speaker 1: doing and saying okay?
17:42
Speaker 3: But when I started coaching, it was like, how do
17:45
Speaker 3: I do this?
17:46
Speaker 1: Because everybody wanted me to work for them or everybody
17:50
Speaker 1: wanted me to pay. But I was like, don't you
17:54
Speaker 1: think teaching should be something that should be important in coaching,
17:57
Speaker 1: because if you don't know how to teach people, anybody
18:03
Speaker 1: can say Okay, I can sell courses, I can do this,
18:06
Speaker 1: but have you thought to teach it when they pay
18:09
Speaker 1: for it? Why not do something the same way you're
18:12
Speaker 1: in the education system and you teach your actual clients
18:18
Speaker 1: how to build businesses how to build brands, and you're
18:22
Speaker 1: doing them in a group setting, because if you're going
18:24
Speaker 1: to do it in a Facebook setting, why not do
18:26
Speaker 1: that in the courses that they're paying for? I said,
18:29
Speaker 1: And I thought about that, and I said, when I
18:32
Speaker 1: create my courses, I said, I'm actually.
18:33
Speaker 3: Going to teach them that way.
18:36
Speaker 1: They're going into different levels, in different stages of it,
18:40
Speaker 1: because I've learned everything is stages and levels now, so
18:45
Speaker 1: even though I can be successful, that doesn't mean that
18:48
Speaker 1: my goals are not going to change.
18:51
Speaker 3: Because they are.
18:52
Speaker 1: They'll get bigger, but then there are bigger challenges and
18:56
Speaker 1: there are other levels and other stages. So even though
18:58
Speaker 1: I'm doing the same thing with and that's what the autism.
19:01
Speaker 3: Comes in at.
19:02
Speaker 1: Even though my son learned one skill, he still had
19:07
Speaker 1: to learn to be better, which in terms, was a
19:09
Speaker 1: whole another level. Even though it was the same thing,
19:12
Speaker 1: it was still another level that he had to.
19:16
Speaker 3: Overcome.
19:17
Speaker 1: And so now I'm like, Okay, instead of it just
19:20
Speaker 1: being one course, it could be the same course, but
19:23
Speaker 1: everybody's not on the same level, everybody's not in the
19:26
Speaker 1: same stage. So now it's trying to find out where
19:29
Speaker 1: each person is in their own stages, putting these people
19:32
Speaker 1: in this group because they're all in the same stage.
19:35
Speaker 1: These people are all in the same stage, and build
19:39
Speaker 1: and meeting them where they are and helping them in
19:41
Speaker 1: that way, so that way everybody all eventually is going
19:45
Speaker 1: to be at that same level, just at their own pace.
19:49
Speaker 2: Yeah, what have you learned most in your transition into entrepreneurship.
19:56
Speaker 3: I've learned that it definitely.
20:02
Speaker 1: Is going to be the most challenging yet the most
20:06
Speaker 1: rewarding at the same time, that your personal life can,
20:15
Speaker 1: depending on if you have the right support system, can
20:19
Speaker 1: either make you or break you, because if you don't
20:23
Speaker 1: have the right support system, then you're questioning everything, and
20:29
Speaker 1: then you become scared. And in business, you cannot be afraid.
20:33
Speaker 1: You cannot be insecure. You have to be certain. And
20:39
Speaker 1: if you're not certain, and if your life isn't in
20:44
Speaker 1: a peaceful place to where you can make the time
20:48
Speaker 1: to do it, where you can invest the money to
20:51
Speaker 1: do it. And sometimes it's not even that, sometimes.
20:56
Speaker 3: It's more or less the things that are not being
20:59
Speaker 3: to to you.
21:01
Speaker 1: Being self taught is kind of the best way too,
21:04
Speaker 1: because you're learning the things that you weren't taught and
21:09
Speaker 1: you're learning the ups and downs. And then also as
21:12
Speaker 1: somebody that was an employee, I also take into consideration
21:16
Speaker 1: that when I start employing people, it's not to keep
21:19
Speaker 1: them there, but it's to help them to be what
21:24
Speaker 1: they want to be. So, for example, if I have
21:26
Speaker 1: somebody that does social media and they work for me,
21:30
Speaker 1: I would want them to start their own business, but
21:31
Speaker 1: still we work together. We're still working together. If somebody
21:36
Speaker 1: wants to do mental health recovery, we still work together,
21:40
Speaker 1: so but they will still have their own I would
21:43
Speaker 1: still help them, they would still help me. And then
21:46
Speaker 1: you're building a corporation because you're building all of these
21:49
Speaker 1: different trees because these people aren't just working for you,
21:53
Speaker 1: they're making their own money, which in terms, still centers
21:57
Speaker 1: back to you because at any time you can go
22:00
Speaker 1: to them and we can do things together and make
22:03
Speaker 1: money together. And then we're bringing new people in and
22:07
Speaker 1: doing the same thing. And then pretty soon you have
22:09
Speaker 1: this whole network of people that are all under your
22:14
Speaker 1: umbrella doing their own things. But y'all are all building
22:21
Speaker 1: something that's beautiful that will help so many people and
22:25
Speaker 1: different aspects, and each one of us are benefiting the other.
22:30
Speaker 1: And I think that's what growth is. And I think
22:32
Speaker 1: it's the same thing with your children. Your children are
22:35
Speaker 1: when they're younger, they know nothing about the world, and
22:40
Speaker 1: you're branching them off to do something great based on
22:44
Speaker 1: the talents that they got from you and the father.
22:48
Speaker 1: So I think it's more or less that about not
22:51
Speaker 1: holding if you not holding your children back, but not
22:53
Speaker 1: even holding your employees. Got to look at them also
22:56
Speaker 1: as children in the same aspect. You're training them to
22:59
Speaker 1: do something, and then you're watching them do something. You're
23:03
Speaker 1: giving them the tools to become successful. And then you
23:07
Speaker 1: go from now that teaching aspect, so you go from
23:10
Speaker 1: building something to now you're teaching and you're giving it
23:13
Speaker 1: to them and now they're building something. And like I said,
23:17
Speaker 1: we're all doing webinars together, we're all doing seminars together,
23:20
Speaker 1: we're all building something. And then this network is built
23:23
Speaker 1: and you have a network and now you basically have
23:27
Speaker 1: a foundation of a tree with a bunch of people
23:31
Speaker 1: that you know are now successful and they're not just
23:36
Speaker 1: where they're working a with a nine to five job.
23:38
Speaker 1: And that's what I always thought that jobs were for
23:42
Speaker 1: for people to be able to eventually to do something
23:45
Speaker 1: that now is a part of your business and now
23:48
Speaker 1: part of your network, and now they have a business
23:51
Speaker 1: that's in your network, and now your network is growing
23:56
Speaker 1: because these people are now expanding worldwide.
24:01
Speaker 3: Is what I learned.
24:03
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's pretty much what I take from that, because,
24:09
Speaker 1: like I said, holding people back, they can't reach their greatness.
24:13
Speaker 1: And as a person of God, I just can't do
24:16
Speaker 1: that because I feel like, you know, you want to
24:19
Speaker 1: give people a chance, you want to give them an opportunity,
24:23
Speaker 1: but at the same time you want but mind you,
24:26
Speaker 1: there are some people that cannot lead and cannot do it,
24:32
Speaker 1: and that's different. But the ones that you see that
24:35
Speaker 1: are able to do that, I would definitely give them
24:38
Speaker 1: the opportunity.
24:39
Speaker 3: To do so I love it.
24:41
Speaker 1: That's pretty much what I would do. So that's important.
24:46
Speaker 1: But as far as your husband, when you went to
24:49
Speaker 1: him and said you wanted to do this, what is
24:53
Speaker 1: it like to have a husband, because we all wish
24:56
Speaker 1: we had this where you have a husband that's your
24:59
Speaker 1: biggest cheer leader, your biggest your biggest supporter, your biggest
25:04
Speaker 1: person that says you know, because you know how some
25:08
Speaker 1: men are with their ego, They're like, well, you know,
25:13
Speaker 1: I want to be the man of the house and
25:14
Speaker 1: I don't want you to work, and I just want
25:17
Speaker 1: you to do this. But then at the same time
25:20
Speaker 1: turned around years later and throw it back in her
25:22
Speaker 1: face and say you were just a housewife. How does
25:25
Speaker 1: it feel to know? What advice would you give women
25:29
Speaker 1: that basically want to have something of their own there
25:35
Speaker 1: has nothing to do with their husbands and being able
25:38
Speaker 1: to explain to their husbands.
25:40
Speaker 3: That this is what I want to do and the
25:44
Speaker 3: support of it all. How did you get to that place?
25:49
Speaker 2: Well, I do think. I mean, when I married my husband,
25:54
Speaker 2: I didn't realize how important of a decision that was,
25:57
Speaker 2: you know, I didn't realize how much of an pack
26:00
Speaker 2: that does have on on your ability to create things
26:05
Speaker 2: if you are married. But I will say husbands become
26:10
Speaker 2: more supportive when you make money. Yeah, you know, if
26:16
Speaker 2: it's real and there's real money coming in, they tend
26:22
Speaker 2: to then respect your business more. Also, I mean, we
26:27
Speaker 2: always had the situation where when our kids were little,
26:30
Speaker 2: you know that somebody's always sick who stays home. I
26:34
Speaker 2: was working from home, but we switched, you know, because
26:39
Speaker 2: I was working. I was at home, but I was working.
26:42
Speaker 2: You know, we had someone help with kids. They went
26:45
Speaker 2: to childcare three days a week, you know, like it
26:48
Speaker 2: wasn't I had to have time to work if we
26:51
Speaker 2: were going to make money from the business. Even during COVID,
26:55
Speaker 2: I remember saying, I can homeschool these kids, you know,
27:03
Speaker 2: and we can cut back on the income that's coming
27:07
Speaker 2: in and just cut back on expenses, or we can
27:11
Speaker 2: get some help with this school situation. But I can't
27:16
Speaker 2: work and homeschool, you know, like I can't. I don't know,
27:21
Speaker 2: it doesn't work, And so I think there's a luxury
27:25
Speaker 2: to that also that I'm aware of, where not everybody
27:29
Speaker 2: could do that. But I had to have some help
27:31
Speaker 2: if I was going to be making money at the
27:33
Speaker 2: same time. I couldn't be full time teaching and full
27:36
Speaker 2: time running a business. So there is just a demand
27:40
Speaker 2: on women. And He's always been equal opportunity parent. I
27:45
Speaker 2: mean we shared the unpaid labor, the laundry, you know,
27:49
Speaker 2: all of the home stuff. We shared pretty equally, and
27:56
Speaker 2: in some cases he did even more than me, always
28:00
Speaker 2: but sometimes in certain seasons. So a lot of it, though,
28:04
Speaker 2: was just financial. I mean, if I was making more money,
28:08
Speaker 2: then my work became a priority because it was providing
28:11
Speaker 2: for us. So sometimes I think women get frustrated they're
28:15
Speaker 2: not getting supportive. But like if my husband was doing
28:18
Speaker 2: something and he wasn't making any money, I don't know
28:20
Speaker 2: how supportive I would be very good, right, So it
28:25
Speaker 2: was a both and but I did marry. Well, he's
28:28
Speaker 2: a good one. I mean he's really he really genuinely
28:31
Speaker 2: is humble and would celebrate. I've always been the higher earner,
28:38
Speaker 2: but he's always celebrated that and not been threatened by it, which,
28:42
Speaker 2: you know, it's a great thing.
28:44
Speaker 3: I think that's a good thing.
28:46
Speaker 1: And I think that's important because I tell a lot
28:50
Speaker 1: of men all the time. I don't think women's intention
28:54
Speaker 1: is to make more money. I think it's more or less.
28:58
Speaker 1: We're nurturers, and we nurture and we're teachers, and we're
29:05
Speaker 1: the ones that determine how things are going to be
29:08
Speaker 1: and what direction you.
29:10
Speaker 3: Know, things are going to go.
29:12
Speaker 1: And you know, I tell a lot of women, I said,
29:17
Speaker 1: even though you do, I said, you think that being
29:19
Speaker 1: a housewife, because you're marrying someone with money, you think
29:25
Speaker 1: that that's going.
29:25
Speaker 3: To be easy.
29:27
Speaker 1: This man has money. This man can get a maid,
29:31
Speaker 1: a butler, a chef. He can get all of these things.
29:35
Speaker 1: What are you bringing to this man that isn't just
29:39
Speaker 1: your body or just cooking for him? Because I hear
29:44
Speaker 1: a lot of rich men say, I can cook for myself.
29:47
Speaker 1: I can I can do for myself. I can pay
29:50
Speaker 1: people to do that, you know, And I already have children.
29:55
Speaker 1: And so when I see like Jeff bezos ex wife,
30:00
Speaker 1: and when I see like Bill Gates's ex wife, and
30:03
Speaker 1: people said, well, they didn't understand why they got half.
30:06
Speaker 3: These women contribute to.
30:09
Speaker 1: These men's businesses, their ideas, their business mind frames, and
30:15
Speaker 1: matter of fact, Bill Gates's ex wife worked for him,
30:19
Speaker 1: so they were there from the very beginning when it
30:23
Speaker 1: was was structured. And I tell women, I said for me,
30:28
Speaker 1: I said it, you know, and going and working a
30:32
Speaker 1: recognizety five's job and your single mother is hard because
30:38
Speaker 1: they don't care about the fact you got to pick
30:40
Speaker 1: your kids up from school.
30:42
Speaker 3: They don't care.
30:43
Speaker 1: About the fact that you have you want to be
30:46
Speaker 1: there for your kids' vacations. And so when I made
30:50
Speaker 1: that decision, it was like to travel even when I
30:54
Speaker 1: wasn't working for the time. When night before I even
30:56
Speaker 1: made the decision, I was traveling, and people said, how
31:00
Speaker 1: did you do that.
31:02
Speaker 3: I said, God gave me the space to do it.
31:05
Speaker 1: God provided for that time, and I said, God gave
31:09
Speaker 1: me the time and the structure to do that. It
31:13
Speaker 1: gave me time to really say, do you want to
31:16
Speaker 1: go back to work or do you want to start
31:18
Speaker 1: something of your own? And is it easier to have
31:21
Speaker 1: a partner that says, I understand, and I get it,
31:24
Speaker 1: especially when they see, like you said, the money coming in.
31:28
Speaker 1: But there are some men that still have a problem
31:31
Speaker 1: with it, and they'll say, well, I don't want you
31:33
Speaker 1: to do it because now my business is going well,
31:36
Speaker 1: I need you to quit. And I said, don't do that,
31:39
Speaker 1: because you never know what may happen if things go
31:45
Speaker 1: left and you don't have you don't have.
31:49
Speaker 3: A safety net.
31:50
Speaker 1: And I think women having a safety net is important
31:53
Speaker 1: because you just never know if something going happen to
31:57
Speaker 1: him in death, or there's a divorce, or he gets sick,
32:00
Speaker 1: he loses his job.
32:01
Speaker 3: You need to have that safety net.
32:05
Speaker 1: That is something that's important because the hit rock bottom
32:10
Speaker 1: is like one of the worst feelings in the world,
32:13
Speaker 1: and we are in a time where people are now
32:17
Speaker 1: doing what they love, they're doing what they're passionate, they're
32:22
Speaker 1: making more money with less time. I would say, because
32:27
Speaker 1: even in coaching, if we did everything, it wouldn't even
32:30
Speaker 1: take it full eight hours.
32:31
Speaker 3: It would take a couple.
32:32
Speaker 1: Hours of our time, and we would make more in
32:36
Speaker 1: that one session. Then we would make eight hours a day.
32:41
Speaker 1: And some people was like, what do you mean I said,
32:45
Speaker 1: I said, a business also can tell you who you are.
32:49
Speaker 1: A business can tell you if you're a people person.
32:54
Speaker 1: A business can tell you whether or not what your
32:58
Speaker 1: purpose is. But I say, if you do what you love,
33:02
Speaker 1: you do what you're passionate about. The money is just
33:06
Speaker 1: in addition to that, and you're able to You know,
33:10
Speaker 1: writers write every three years, but they have enough money
33:14
Speaker 1: to last them until they write their next book because
33:18
Speaker 1: they made enough to last for a while.
33:21
Speaker 3: And like people that do the.
33:23
Speaker 1: Writing process, they'll say, I have writer's block this day,
33:28
Speaker 1: I can't do this.
33:29
Speaker 3: But don't think.
33:30
Speaker 1: That that because you're doing what you love that you
33:32
Speaker 1: don't have to meet a production. You don't have to
33:35
Speaker 1: meet a timeline, because you do. But the good thing
33:38
Speaker 1: is once it's out, once you've done your book signings,
33:44
Speaker 1: you have time to say I'm going on vacation. I
33:48
Speaker 1: got time to just be and I am starting to
33:52
Speaker 1: see that, and I'm seeing more and more people traveling.
33:54
Speaker 1: I see more and more people that are just enjoying
33:57
Speaker 1: that freedom of it all. But I tell but it
34:00
Speaker 1: does not mean it ain't hard to work. It's just
34:03
Speaker 1: you're naturally good at it, which makes it easier than
34:06
Speaker 1: someone that's doing something where you're doing something like billing,
34:11
Speaker 1: and you're starting a billing business, but you're an actor,
34:14
Speaker 1: but you're naturally talented at that, it's easier for you.
34:17
Speaker 1: You're a singer, it's easier for you. But what you
34:20
Speaker 1: don't understand it is once you make it into a business,
34:23
Speaker 1: it's no longer just you're doing it for fun. Now
34:27
Speaker 1: you're doing it because you're expected. So it's a little
34:29
Speaker 1: different as far as that's concerned.
34:32
Speaker 2: Yeah, so Asha, I have to get scooting. I have
34:35
Speaker 2: a call, I have to get on.
34:38
Speaker 3: But I thank you for doing this. Thank you.
34:41
Speaker 2: It was so great to meet you. Thank you so much.
34:45
Speaker 1: You're welcome, and I'm looking forward to doing this again
34:47
Speaker 1: when you have a little bit of time and we
34:49
Speaker 1: can really go more on depth. So whenever your schedules available,
34:53
Speaker 1: I would love to do this again with you.
34:56
Speaker 2: Awesome. Well, thank you so much. I appreciate you.
34:59
Speaker 3: Thank you well.
35:01
Speaker 1: Yeah, Like I said, when it comes to doing these
35:04
Speaker 1: pre conversations, it's like get to know you, get to
35:07
Speaker 1: know where things are, things, trying to figure out where
35:10
Speaker 1: the conversation is going to go. And with her, it
35:14
Speaker 1: definitely would be more about because a lot of women
35:18
Speaker 1: are jumping into the business world, a lot of women
35:22
Speaker 1: are really overwhelmed with the wife and children and then
35:29
Speaker 1: trying to find their identity. And so because she's somebody
35:35
Speaker 1: that's showing that you can be married and have children
35:39
Speaker 1: and still have it all, even though in the beginning
35:42
Speaker 1: it's a lot of work, but when the end result happens,
35:45
Speaker 1: it definitely works out. So thank her so much for
35:49
Speaker 1: miss Amy Kemp for coming for the pre conversation. I
35:52
Speaker 1: will post this so you guys will get to see
35:54
Speaker 1: it and hopefully she and I will be able to
35:55
Speaker 1: get a chance to do it on the regular podcast.
35:58
Speaker 1: So with that being said, I would see guys later.
36:01
Speaker 3: Bye us