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Benjamin Franklin's Advice on 'Finding a Mistress' · Ridiculous History

0:10
Speaker 1: Yea, my dear friend, I know of no medicine fit
0:26
Speaker 1: to diminish the violent natural inclinations you mentioned, And if
0:30
Speaker 1: I did, I think I should not communicate it to you.
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Speaker 1: Marriage is the proper remedy. It is the most natural
0:36
Speaker 1: state of man, and therefore the state in which you
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Speaker 1: are most likely to find solid happiness. Those are the
0:43
Speaker 1: words of Benjamin Franklin. Welcome to the show. My name
0:46
Speaker 1: is Ben Oh Benny frank No relation. No, Well, you
0:49
Speaker 1: know you're sort of spiritual successors. That's very weird. I
0:54
Speaker 1: at least have better hair, if not a better position
0:57
Speaker 1: in American politics. That's true. But you're also, like Ben Franklin, um,
1:01
Speaker 1: a bit of a forward thinking innovator. Well, thank you
1:06
Speaker 1: so much. No, I sincerely appreciate that. Uh. They do
1:10
Speaker 1: in some places call me the the less cool super
1:15
Speaker 1: producer Casey Pegram, which I take is that, you know.
1:19
Speaker 1: I treat it as the significant compliment that it is,
1:22
Speaker 1: because Casey Pegram is the bar, and it's a very
1:26
Speaker 1: high one, and very few people ever meet that bar. Yeah,
1:30
Speaker 1: but you're like one click below the bar. Oh no,
1:33
Speaker 1: took just one click. Man's uh reach must exceed his
1:37
Speaker 1: grasp else, what's a heaven for? Did Ben Franklin say that? Oh?
1:40
Speaker 1: That was Robert Browning, the poet, Robert Browning, Yes, yes, Browning. Well, um,
1:47
Speaker 1: here's the thing about Ben Franklin. We know him as
1:49
Speaker 1: one of the founding fathers of these fine United States.
1:53
Speaker 1: He was a part of the Second Continental Congress and
1:56
Speaker 1: was sort of like this, uh he was he is
2:00
Speaker 1: a really good diplomat, and that he kind of smoothed
2:02
Speaker 1: over some of the tensions between the other founding fathers.
2:04
Speaker 1: He kind of acted as like a little bit of
2:06
Speaker 1: a lubricant, if you will, a human lubricant. Um. He
2:10
Speaker 1: was also an inventor um and he published a Poor
2:13
Speaker 1: Richard's Almanac where he espoused the virtues of man and
2:18
Speaker 1: all of these little, you know, quirky sayings. Early to bed,
2:21
Speaker 1: early to rise and all that. And he apparently did
2:23
Speaker 1: get up pretty early every morning. In his autobiography you
2:26
Speaker 1: can read his daily routine that started with rising at
2:29
Speaker 1: four am daily. You always talk about his air bath, spen. Yes, yes,
2:34
Speaker 1: he's a big believer in air baths. You read my mind, Noel,
2:38
Speaker 1: and air bath is what it sounds like. He sat
2:40
Speaker 1: around naked for his for his personal constitution. Additionally, he
2:46
Speaker 1: was a freemason, a polymath, and and many other things.
2:50
Speaker 1: He was a man of many interests and throughout his
2:53
Speaker 1: life from January seventeen, seventeen oh six to his death
2:57
Speaker 1: on April seventeen, seventeen nine d he changed the world,
3:03
Speaker 1: and a lot of his enterprises were things that would
3:08
Speaker 1: surprise the average you know, the the average high school student.
3:13
Speaker 1: You don't hear about a ton of the stuff he's done.
3:16
Speaker 1: You hear about some of his experiments into the nature
3:18
Speaker 1: of electricity and lightning. And apparently the whole deal with
3:21
Speaker 1: the key tied to the kites probably a myth entirely right,
3:25
Speaker 1: but he was credited as inventing the lightning rod. But
3:29
Speaker 1: today we're talking a little bit more about his little
3:31
Speaker 1: lightning rod there we go, uh, and the lightning rods
3:36
Speaker 1: of his friends. See. One of the things, one of
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Speaker 1: the things that you may not learn in a middle
3:43
Speaker 1: school or high school history class about Benjamin Franklin is
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Speaker 1: that he was also a real lothario, a crazed womanizer,
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Speaker 1: sex thing. You could even refer to him as a
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Speaker 1: bit of a rake, yes, yes, an uber rake big
4:00
Speaker 1: because he had there's so many different directions we can
4:04
Speaker 1: go with this, but we know that the founding Fathers
4:08
Speaker 1: at this point in time have moved into the realm
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Speaker 1: of myth in many ways. Nol. I love that you
4:13
Speaker 1: point out at the beginning of the show that the
4:17
Speaker 1: key story is, you know, it's probably a myth. It's
4:20
Speaker 1: sort of like boy George Washington, Um, you know, not
4:22
Speaker 1: telling a lie and chopping down the cherry tree and
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Speaker 1: all that, or wooden teeth, they were actually ivory. But
4:29
Speaker 1: in the case of Benjamin franklin sex life, we have
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Speaker 1: documentation that proves not only uh, is there some sand
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Speaker 1: to the scandalous stories about this man, but he also
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Speaker 1: advised people on their own sex lives. You see, that
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Speaker 1: excerpt that we began the show with is from a
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Speaker 1: real life letter that Franklin wrote in sev The name
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Speaker 1: of the letter is Advice to a friend on choosing
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Speaker 1: a mistress, and this is again a real letter. It's
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Speaker 1: strange because we also found that forty years before the
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Speaker 1: Revolution even got under way in seventy nine, Benjamin Franklin
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Speaker 1: was also a publisher, was reputedly publishing a tabloid newspaper
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Speaker 1: that had an advice column about things that would be
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Speaker 1: considered unmentionable in a lot of higher realms of society. Yeah,
5:31
Speaker 1: that's right. And by the time his autobiography came out,
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Speaker 1: it was pretty heavily censored because late in life he
5:37
Speaker 1: was absolutely honest about some of this stuff. But because
5:39
Speaker 1: of that, already approaching mythical idea of the Founding Fathers,
5:44
Speaker 1: they wanted to protect that legacy and make sure that
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Speaker 1: you only remembered Ben Franklin's for Poor Richard's Almanac, and
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Speaker 1: for early to bed, early to rise, and for being
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Speaker 1: this model of virtue, studious nous, and steadfast goodness. But
6:00
Speaker 1: Franklin himself acknowledged that he was, in fact a bit
6:04
Speaker 1: of allege. He actually said this of himself in an
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Speaker 1: often censored passage from the autobiography. Um he said, quote,
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Speaker 1: the hard to be governed passion of my youth had
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Speaker 1: hurried me frequently into intrigues with low women. Here's a
6:21
Speaker 1: kicker that fell in my way. Yikes. Oh. And then
6:26
Speaker 1: he also added, which were attended with some expense and
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Speaker 1: grade inconvenience, besides a continual risk to my health by distemper.
6:34
Speaker 1: As far as we know, and we may not know
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Speaker 1: all of it, This guy throughout his life ended up
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Speaker 1: having what fifteen illegitimate children, that's what they say. Yeah,
6:42
Speaker 1: and if he was around today, this guy would be
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Speaker 1: a me too nightmare. Yes, I mean big time. He
6:48
Speaker 1: was well known not just for being alleged, but for
6:51
Speaker 1: being alleged for underage potentially women. He even there's a
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Speaker 1: rumor that he carried on a relationship with a daughter
6:59
Speaker 1: and her there, Margaret Stevenson and her eighteen year old daughter, Polly.
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Speaker 1: That was a little bit probably on the older side
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Speaker 1: of some of his dalliances with young women. And there's
7:09
Speaker 1: a little bit of a paradox here. Well, let's back
7:12
Speaker 1: up and say you're right. In his final years, as
7:15
Speaker 1: he was aging in after Polly's husband had passed away,
7:19
Speaker 1: he moved her to Philadelphia to live by his side
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Speaker 1: until he passed away in seventeen ninety. But this guy
7:26
Speaker 1: also tried to sleep with his friends mistresses, and as
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Speaker 1: we will find, despite the rumors about his interest in
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Speaker 1: younger women, he went on record several times saying that
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Speaker 1: he actually preferred older women. In his correspondence and like
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Speaker 1: in this letter that he mentioned and we'll get to that,
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Speaker 1: the reason is a little bit more functional like long term.
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Speaker 1: He's saying older women might be better for the long haul.
7:52
Speaker 1: But there's even a little I guess I'm a verse
7:55
Speaker 1: a mini poem, kind of a thrown about, uh the
7:58
Speaker 1: time of referring to his time in London, in paris
8:01
Speaker 1: Um and the reputation that he developed, and and said, Franklin,
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Speaker 1: though plagued with fumbling age, needs nothing to excite him,
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Speaker 1: but is too ready to engage when younger arms invite him.
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Speaker 1: And that came about, believe it or not, folks, when
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Speaker 1: he was in his seventies. Yes, so this was. This
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Speaker 1: was some time after he had written this letter. He
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Speaker 1: was well known for having what people would describe as
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Speaker 1: an insatiable libido or sex drive. And let's let's go
8:32
Speaker 1: back to this letter. When he was writing to a
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Speaker 1: fellow named Cadwallader Colden, which is a fantastic name, incredible,
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Speaker 1: Mr Cadwallader to Colden, and he recommends, for as you said,
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Speaker 1: some some ostensibly practical reasons, that Cadwalader consider choosing a
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Speaker 1: not not a mistress, but choosing a wife who is older.
9:01
Speaker 1: He says, if you will not take this counsel and
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Speaker 1: persist in thinking a commerce with the sex inevitable. Then
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Speaker 1: I repeat my former advice that in all your amours
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Speaker 1: you should prefer old women to young ones. You call
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Speaker 1: this a paradox, and demand my reasons, and then the
9:16
Speaker 1: outlines seven fairly articulate reasons, but they're all stuff like, um,
9:22
Speaker 1: I don't know, it sounds pretty brutal. Number one. We
9:26
Speaker 1: can just give the gist because these are kind of long.
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Speaker 1: Number one, he says, Uh, their conversation is better, like
9:32
Speaker 1: it's they're more for them to talk to because of
9:34
Speaker 1: their life experience, and they are more likely because and
9:39
Speaker 1: here's the problem with Ben Franklin, and this this comes
9:42
Speaker 1: up time and again and you can probably already tell
9:44
Speaker 1: he's a bit misogynist, um, and a little problematic. I think, yeah,
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Speaker 1: because some of these things are very condescending to women.
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Speaker 1: Where he says, once they cease to be handsome, uh,
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Speaker 1: they as almost as though they will appreciate so much
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Speaker 1: that you're giving them the time of day that they
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Speaker 1: will do anything for you, which sounds like a lot
10:05
Speaker 1: like Dennis Reynolds and always sunny, because yeah, it's it's
10:08
Speaker 1: it's pretty bad. Um. So yeah, they'll take care of
10:11
Speaker 1: you when you're sick. They'll, you know, make your little
10:13
Speaker 1: cakes and soup medatory realizing here a little bit, but
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Speaker 1: it sure seems like he's trying to give this guy
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Speaker 1: advice of how to get like a nice like made.
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Speaker 1: We'll also have sex with him, because he also points
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Speaker 1: out aid don't mean nothing in the dark. Danny DeVito's character,
10:31
Speaker 1: Frank Reynolds, has a quote about that that we're not
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Speaker 1: going to put on the air, but uh, if you know,
10:37
Speaker 1: you know. The third thing he says is that there's
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Speaker 1: no hazard of having children. Then he says they're more
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Speaker 1: discreet again because of experience, so they're not gonna blow
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Speaker 1: up your spot if you're trying to TLC style creep.
10:57
Speaker 1: One thing we haven't mentioned another pretty little fact about
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Speaker 1: Franklin is that he was in fact married. He had
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Speaker 1: a common law wife by the name of Deborah Reid, who,
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Speaker 1: like Tony Sopranos style, he just cheated on her constantly
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Speaker 1: throughout the span of their forty four years of marriage.
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Speaker 1: Um And also, as we know, he spent a lot
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Speaker 1: of time abroad as a European ambassador, specifically in London
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Speaker 1: and France. UM. So eighteen of those forty four years
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Speaker 1: they lived apart. Uh, And apparently she during one of
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Speaker 1: those overseas trips, she had a stroke, and Franklin didn't
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Speaker 1: even come back to Philadelphia, UH to see her, and
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Speaker 1: she she died alone, um in seventeen seventy four, which
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Speaker 1: is a shame anyway you look at it. To continue
11:44
Speaker 1: these reasons of his uh, he mentions, I think no,
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Speaker 1: you're alluding to number five when he said this older
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Speaker 1: woman that he's described may not be as attractive per Franklin.
11:59
Speaker 1: He says the face first, gross, lank and wrinkled, then
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Speaker 1: the neck, than the breast, in arms, than the lower parts,
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Speaker 1: continuing to the last as plump as ever so that
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Speaker 1: covering all above with a basket, and regarding only what
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Speaker 1: is below the girdle, it is impossible of two women
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Speaker 1: to know an old one from a young one. Here's
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Speaker 1: the line I think you're referring to. And as in
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Speaker 1: the dark, all cats are gray, the pleasure of corporal
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Speaker 1: enjoyment with an old woman is at least equal and
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Speaker 1: frequently superior, every knack being by practice capable of improvement.
12:29
Speaker 1: That's pretty gross. That's one of the things that leads
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Speaker 1: some scholars to say this letter is satirical or comedic.
12:39
Speaker 1: He was a well known practical joker and satirist. And
12:46
Speaker 1: he also we haven't mentioned this yet, he also never
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Speaker 1: sent this letter. He wrote it, We know he actually
12:53
Speaker 1: wrote it, but it for some reason was never sent.
12:56
Speaker 1: What are some of the other things he named? He
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Speaker 1: also again doubles down in that hole like you're doing
13:02
Speaker 1: her a favor kind of vibe. Um says, he almost
13:06
Speaker 1: like tries to characterize having an affair, because again this
13:09
Speaker 1: is talking about a mistress. He's not talking about taking
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Speaker 1: a wife, because he basically starts the letter off saying
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Speaker 1: you should get married. It's the better idea to get married,
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Speaker 1: because that is the most natural state of man. Where
13:19
Speaker 1: he can he compares a single man to the one
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Speaker 1: part of a pair of scissors and a useless tool,
13:26
Speaker 1: and that you know, in order to be truly happy
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Speaker 1: and fulfilled, you have to have a wife and have
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Speaker 1: that other part of the scissor. Um. But he says,
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Speaker 1: but if you're not going to do that, here are
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Speaker 1: some tips on how to get you the best possible
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Speaker 1: harem of mistress is presumably right, Um, so again virtuous
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Speaker 1: to carry on an affair with an older lady. Um
13:44
Speaker 1: and he characterized it as such, quote they are so grateful,
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Speaker 1: while saying it's less sinful um to sleep with an
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Speaker 1: old woman than it is Uh. Then the act of
13:54
Speaker 1: quote debauching of a virgin um, which he characterizes being
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Speaker 1: ruinous to both lady and gentlemen. Yeah. And then his
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Speaker 1: seventh point, the penultimate point, is that the compunction or
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Speaker 1: the regret or sorrow is less. Says if you have
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Speaker 1: made a young girl miserable, it may give you frequent
14:12
Speaker 1: bitter reflections, you might feel bad about it later, but
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Speaker 1: in this way you will make an older woman happy,
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Speaker 1: which is again I know I used the word earlier,
14:21
Speaker 1: but it fits. It's kind of gross, right. And he's
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Speaker 1: got one more point, which I think you mentioned earlier,
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Speaker 1: which is they are so italicized grateful, which just stinks.
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Speaker 1: And then he closes the whole letter saying, that's my paradox.
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Speaker 1: But still I advise you to marry directly, being sincerely
14:41
Speaker 1: your affectionate friend, Benjamin Franklin. Benny Franks So this advice,
14:47
Speaker 1: you know, this is something you and I have not
14:49
Speaker 1: talked about yet. When we're off air. Do you think
14:52
Speaker 1: this letter is sincere or do you think it's some
14:55
Speaker 1: draft of a comedic device. I tend to ink that
15:00
Speaker 1: it's sincere. I do too, aving what we know about him.
15:03
Speaker 1: I hate feeling that. Yeah, because he, as you said,
15:08
Speaker 1: his libido was such a driving force in his life
15:12
Speaker 1: that later he himself came to feel terrible about it.
15:17
Speaker 1: But he was also known for trying to feel up
15:22
Speaker 1: almost any woman he found attractive, and he uh he
15:27
Speaker 1: treated his wife horribly. His biographer said that he had,
15:33
Speaker 1: or one of his biographers, a guy named Albert Henry
15:35
Speaker 1: Smith uh said it is no use blinking the fact
15:39
Speaker 1: that Franklin's animal instincts and passions were strong and rank,
15:43
Speaker 1: and that they led him to the commission of deplorable
15:45
Speaker 1: erata in his life, and that the taint of an
15:47
Speaker 1: irredeemable vulgarity is much upon this man. I know, and
15:53
Speaker 1: this is back, you know, in the early vulgarity. And
15:59
Speaker 1: we're harping on this, but it's important that we we're
16:03
Speaker 1: not making a hit piece on some American hero, but
16:07
Speaker 1: it is crucially, crucially important for us to acknowledge that
16:13
Speaker 1: this person was a human being and not just some
16:16
Speaker 1: airbrushed ideal of early America, which you know, not not
16:21
Speaker 1: to say that he didn't do some amazing things. It's
16:25
Speaker 1: just that he did a lot of horrible things. And
16:30
Speaker 1: when scholars tackle the question of whether Franklin was being
16:34
Speaker 1: comedic or serious, they go back to context clues, whether
16:39
Speaker 1: the letter was delivered, What other kind of stuff did
16:42
Speaker 1: he right? Uh? He for instance, wrote an article about flatulence,
16:50
Speaker 1: the Glorious fart or something like that part proudly, proudly uh.
16:55
Speaker 1: And that was satire, right, yeah, yeah, that was satire.
16:59
Speaker 1: But that was satire with I guess a cause because
17:03
Speaker 1: he was saying it's a natural act, don't be ashamed
17:06
Speaker 1: of it, that's right. And he had some hypocrisy going
17:10
Speaker 1: on there too, right, oh, big time. I mean in
17:11
Speaker 1: so many ways. Again, like in Poor Richards, he really
17:16
Speaker 1: tries to I don't know if he's trying to do
17:18
Speaker 1: it for the for the sake of vanity or whatever,
17:20
Speaker 1: but he's certainly all these aphorisms are meant to be
17:23
Speaker 1: these virtuous ways of living, these kind of the Tao
17:27
Speaker 1: of Ben Franklin kind of things, you know. But he
17:29
Speaker 1: he even characterizes sex um as a very utilitarian thing,
17:33
Speaker 1: referring it to it as something that should never be
17:36
Speaker 1: done for pleasure that should only be done for procreation,
17:39
Speaker 1: you know, for the greater good. Um. But obviously he
17:42
Speaker 1: did not practice what he preached in that respect at all.
17:45
Speaker 1: And he was even um. There was a rumor that
17:47
Speaker 1: he was a member of the hell Fire Club, which
17:49
Speaker 1: was a group of aristocratic men um who potentially engaged
17:54
Speaker 1: in like orgies and you know, all kinds of crazy shenanigans. Yeah,
17:59
Speaker 1: and was those rumors. I think at this point we
18:02
Speaker 1: still have to say he may have been involved, but
18:05
Speaker 1: those the circumstantial evidence was pretty pretty strong. We also
18:11
Speaker 1: know that he was Hoaxter, who was a troll for fun.
18:15
Speaker 1: Can you imagine him in the age of the internet.
18:18
Speaker 1: I'm having a tough time. Uh. He also was known
18:23
Speaker 1: for um doing all kinds of weird experiments. He had
18:26
Speaker 1: electricity parties when he wasn't holding orgies. Uh. He invented
18:31
Speaker 1: his own alphabet. We did a whole episode on that one. Yeah,
18:34
Speaker 1: we did check back on that one if you want
18:37
Speaker 1: to hear more. And I think we talked a little
18:39
Speaker 1: bit about some of his inventions, not all of which
18:42
Speaker 1: were amazing. He had a we mentioned this in previous episode.
18:47
Speaker 1: He did make bifocals to make the Franklin stove. That
18:51
Speaker 1: was his first invention. He made the glass armonica, which
18:56
Speaker 1: quickly got a bad reputation due to the lead in
18:59
Speaker 1: the glass. Oh but you know that, But that's there's
19:01
Speaker 1: still this is a really cool instrument. It's got like
19:03
Speaker 1: a rotating drum kind of situation where it's like um
19:06
Speaker 1: beveled glass orbs, almost like you think of a Christmas
19:09
Speaker 1: decoration glass bowls, but they're all joined together. And you
19:14
Speaker 1: know it's it's the same idea as playing tones from
19:17
Speaker 1: a half filled or various levels of water and wine glasses.
19:21
Speaker 1: You rub your finger around it, it creates symnthetic vibration.
19:23
Speaker 1: But that they do still exist and if you look,
19:26
Speaker 1: if you google it, you can find some concerts of
19:28
Speaker 1: classical pieces being played on the modern day armonica. Yes,
19:32
Speaker 1: which will not poison people. Of course, this is such
19:36
Speaker 1: a ghostly distinct sound, Casey, if you could, could you
19:40
Speaker 1: play just a short clip of that soever we can
19:42
Speaker 1: hear the music perfect. That's some spooky stuff. Oh, Casey,
20:20
Speaker 1: by the way, well, while we've got you here, do
20:22
Speaker 1: you think this letter was sincere or meant in jest?
20:27
Speaker 1: That's a tough one. Um, it doesn't seem funny enough
20:31
Speaker 1: to be entire It's so hard to say something that
20:35
Speaker 1: old from such a different time. But yeah, it's probably
20:38
Speaker 1: probably mostly since here I would say, which is yeah.
20:43
Speaker 1: Also casey on the case, we have the verdict. So,
20:54
Speaker 1: as mentioned in a previous episode, he compiled a list
21:00
Speaker 1: of two hundred plus very specific synonyms. If you heard
21:04
Speaker 1: our previous episode, then you may know what we're alluding to.
21:08
Speaker 1: We would like to introduce you to the return of
21:11
Speaker 1: Ben Franklin's two plus synonyms for being drunk. I adore these.
21:16
Speaker 1: I never get tired of these. I feel like most
21:18
Speaker 1: of these work really well if you say them in
21:20
Speaker 1: a Cockney accent. All right, give it a go. I'll
21:23
Speaker 1: just do a handful. Let's see and then and then
21:25
Speaker 1: we can switch. Awa. He's at a tump over the
21:28
Speaker 1: head with Samson's Joe bone. He's Bridgie, He's cat Cha, grinned, capable, crapped,
21:34
Speaker 1: cher umbilico, cherry, mary wumple, cropped, cracked, concerned, halfway to Concorde.
21:41
Speaker 1: He's taken a chipping glass, cut cones in his head,
21:44
Speaker 1: a cup too much. I don't even know how to
21:47
Speaker 1: say this one. He's his copper, He's crocus catched, he's
21:50
Speaker 1: cut his capers. He's been in the cellar. He's in
21:53
Speaker 1: the cups, non compost, cocked, curried cut, chipper, chickory, loaded
21:58
Speaker 1: his cars. Okay, I like to do a few as well.
22:01
Speaker 1: Uh there's My favorites are the ones that don't make
22:07
Speaker 1: too much sense in the modern day. So stuff like
22:10
Speaker 1: I'll do a different English action, stuff like he makes
22:13
Speaker 1: Virginia fence. He's disguised with a Z. He's right before
22:18
Speaker 1: the wind with all his studying sales out. He's been
22:21
Speaker 1: too free with Sir John Strawberry. He's drunk as David
22:28
Speaker 1: sal He's seen the Yellow Star. He's as stiff as
22:31
Speaker 1: a ringboat. His shoe pinches him. He's staggerished. He's polite,
22:35
Speaker 1: he's wasted, he's paunch. He's been amongst the Philippians. He's
22:39
Speaker 1: contending with Pharaoh. And what what I think is uh
22:44
Speaker 1: weird about that is a while back I cooked up
22:48
Speaker 1: the euphemism that I like to use for when someone's
22:50
Speaker 1: had too much to drink, which was they're very charming.
22:54
Speaker 1: My mom likes that very charming. I love that some
22:58
Speaker 1: of these are just again we're going through alphabetically, but
23:01
Speaker 1: he's eat a toad and a half for breakfast. Yeah,
23:05
Speaker 1: he's he owes no man a farthing. He says as
23:10
Speaker 1: good conditioned as a puppy. He smelt of an onion,
23:13
Speaker 1: Which is so much of these euphemisms are just all
23:17
Speaker 1: dependent on intonation. Right. Oh, he's going to Jerusalem. He's
23:21
Speaker 1: got the gout, He's had a kick in the guts,
23:24
Speaker 1: been with Sir John goa man at Geneva, globular, got
23:29
Speaker 1: the Glanders. He's been before, George before, George, George heavy. Yeah,
23:34
Speaker 1: I don't know why he's apparently been. Franklin was trolling
23:39
Speaker 1: some people. I like to think that he had a
23:41
Speaker 1: friend named George and he was trying to make fun
23:43
Speaker 1: of him, making a figure of speech. I don't know. Now,
23:46
Speaker 1: that's a question I wanted to ask you. Man. I
23:48
Speaker 1: feel like this is sort of an anthropological experiment where
23:50
Speaker 1: he's overheard these in various pubs throughout his travels and
23:53
Speaker 1: he's documenting them. That's the official explanation. But some of
23:59
Speaker 1: these few all styled upon I would agree with you,
24:02
Speaker 1: you know, so let us know what your favorite one
24:06
Speaker 1: is a lot of biblical ones. Going to Jerusalem, Ben
24:09
Speaker 1: to Jericho, My favorite straightforward one is he's intoxicated. He's
24:15
Speaker 1: had too much to drink. Did you see nim topsical?
24:19
Speaker 1: He's nim topsical. That's like some Sioux stuff, right right? Uh?
24:24
Speaker 1: Or oxycrosium. Uh. So none of this, despite the fact
24:29
Speaker 1: that we both obviously think this is hilarious. Uh, none
24:32
Speaker 1: of this mitigates his overwhelmingly gross activities with women. Uh.
24:42
Speaker 1: In his his letter, which is pretty short, you can
24:45
Speaker 1: read in full online his letter does it sounds like
24:49
Speaker 1: to all three of us come off more sincere than
24:53
Speaker 1: uh coming off as a satirical piece, you know what
24:57
Speaker 1: I mean? And thus ends the story of one of
25:01
Speaker 1: Ben Franklin's most famous or infamous unsensed letters. But this
25:06
Speaker 1: does not end our show, nol. I propose that we, uh,
25:11
Speaker 1: that we take a trip into a segment we haven't
25:13
Speaker 1: done in a while. Listener mail sounds great, man, what
25:16
Speaker 1: do we have? Our first listener mail comes from Christine
25:22
Speaker 1: See and it is in regards to our tooth fairy episode.
25:25
Speaker 1: Christine writes, my kids had the worst tooth fairy ever.
25:28
Speaker 1: She was consistently late. After a while, she started leaving
25:31
Speaker 1: notes explaining why a little notes written with pink or
25:34
Speaker 1: purple gelpin. One fairy was fighting in a civil war.
25:37
Speaker 1: One was in drug rehab for a fairy dust addiction.
25:40
Speaker 1: There were many others. I remember one of my daughters
25:43
Speaker 1: actually gave back some of the money to help. UH.
25:46
Speaker 1: These day are like tooth fairies. UM love the show, Christine,
25:50
Speaker 1: that's that's really funny. That's great. Thank you so much
25:53
Speaker 1: for writing. And we have received some great stories from
25:57
Speaker 1: everyone about their own tooth fairies avariances. Here's one from
26:02
Speaker 1: Mike T. Mike T says, gentlemen enjoyed the episode about
26:06
Speaker 1: the tooth Fairy. Didn't realize how recent that entity is.
26:09
Speaker 1: Since you asked, I had a fairly unorthodox approach to
26:12
Speaker 1: interacting with my daughter when she started losing teeth. This
26:15
Speaker 1: was about eight years ago. Instead of money, she got
26:18
Speaker 1: a poem under her pillow. The poem was purportedly from
26:21
Speaker 1: the tooth Fairy, and they were centered around the tooth loss.
26:24
Speaker 1: I still have a collection of about five or six
26:26
Speaker 1: of them on the computer, the Lost Teeth Chronicles. At
26:30
Speaker 1: some point our daughter actually wrote a letter to the
26:33
Speaker 1: tooth Fairy trying to figure out why she wasn't getting
26:36
Speaker 1: any money. She was pretty upset about it. I think
26:39
Speaker 1: she still has the reply from the tooth Fairy in
26:41
Speaker 1: her drawer somewhere anyway, Thanks Mike. So it sounds like
26:46
Speaker 1: we have a lot of parents who are taking an
26:49
Speaker 1: innovative and original approach to the tooth fairy story. I
26:52
Speaker 1: think that's pretty cool too, and it was not something
26:55
Speaker 1: that I really considered, but why not make it your
26:58
Speaker 1: own right? Absolute Lee? And since this practice is fairly recent,
27:04
Speaker 1: who knows the practice that you invent with your loved
27:09
Speaker 1: ones may become the like, the dominant thing, you know
27:12
Speaker 1: what I mean? A few decades from now, people may
27:15
Speaker 1: be getting two fairy poems instead, or tooth fairy correspondence
27:19
Speaker 1: instead of Quarters or Nichols, or however works out with inflation.
27:23
Speaker 1: I'll have to check the episode out again. This concludes
27:26
Speaker 1: our listener mail, but not our show. Thank you so
27:33
Speaker 1: much for listening. Please tune in for our next episode,
27:37
Speaker 1: when we uncover what may be the one of the
27:40
Speaker 1: real life inspirations for the Tail of Rapunzel. In the meantime,
27:46
Speaker 1: you can find Casey Nolan myself all over the internet
27:50
Speaker 1: where on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, all that jazz. We've got
27:55
Speaker 1: a community page where you can meet our favorite part
27:58
Speaker 1: of the show, your fellow listeners. It's called Ridiculous Historians.
28:02
Speaker 1: And if you want to find us personally on Instagram,
28:05
Speaker 1: we can help you out with that too. I am
28:07
Speaker 1: at ben bullying, I am at embryonic Insider. Big thanks
28:11
Speaker 1: to our super producer Casey Pegram as always Alex Williams,
28:14
Speaker 1: who composed our theme. Yeah, oh, I was just hype
28:17
Speaker 1: manning you. I know you are a big fan of
28:20
Speaker 1: all of these folks. Um as am I and of
28:23
Speaker 1: course um our research associate Gabe. Yes, yes, thanks so much.
28:28
Speaker 1: Uh and Noel, thanks for thanks for hanging out with
28:32
Speaker 1: me as we dive once again into you know what.
28:34
Speaker 1: I feel like we did something important in this episode,
28:38
Speaker 1: but I can't resist going back to those synonyms for
28:41
Speaker 1: being drunk. Oh, I know they're They're just too much fun.
28:44
Speaker 1: If you haven't made up synonym for being drunk, go
28:46
Speaker 1: ahead and send it to us as well. Yeah, you
28:49
Speaker 1: can also just do that at Ridiculous at how stuff
28:50
Speaker 1: works dot com. We will see you next time in
29:01
Speaker 1: four