Latest / Infinite Threads with Bob Barnett / The Twenty-Four-Hour Ripple

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The Twenty-Four-Hour Ripple · Infinite Threads with Bob Barnett

• 0:00
  [music]
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_00: back to Infinite Threads.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_00: I'm your host, Bob.
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_00: We've reached the final day of the Infinite Threads experiment.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_00: I've had a lot of fun with it.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_00: I hope you all have too.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_00: All week we've been taking ideas that we usually talk about here and putting them
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_00: into ordinary life.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_00: We noticed someone we might normally overlook.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_00: We sent the message that we kept meaning to send.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_00: We made room for the possibility that we might be wrong.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_00: Yesterday, we did something kind and told nobody.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_00: Today, we bring all of that together.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_00: For the next 24 hours, I want you to pay attention to one thing.
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  SPEAKER_00: One thing.
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  SPEAKER_00: What are you passing along?
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  SPEAKER_00: That's the experiment.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_00: Because something happens every time two people interact.
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  SPEAKER_00: Somebody is impatient with you first thing in the morning and now you're irritated.
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  SPEAKER_00: That irritation follows you into traffic.
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  SPEAKER_00: Someone cuts you off.
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  SPEAKER_00: You arrive somewhere already wound tighter than you were when you left home.
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  SPEAKER_00: Then somebody asks an innocent question and gets a little more edge in your answer
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  SPEAKER_00: than they deserved.
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  SPEAKER_00: And off it goes.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_00: Nobody necessarily intended to make anyone else's day worse.
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  SPEAKER_00: The mood just traveled.
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  SPEAKER_00: But good things travel too, guys.
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  SPEAKER_00: Someone catches us at the right moment.
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  SPEAKER_00: They make us laugh.
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  SPEAKER_00: They show us a little patience when we expected frustration.
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  SPEAKER_00: Something loosens.
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  SPEAKER_00: A few minutes later, we're more patient with somebody else.
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  SPEAKER_00: That person may never know the kindness they received started several people earlier.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_00: That's the ripple that I want us to watch today.
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  SPEAKER_00: The ripple that we talk about all the time.
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  SPEAKER_00: Not because we can control every effect that we have on other people.
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_00: We can't.
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  SPEAKER_00: But we can become more aware of what we're sending.
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  SPEAKER_00: So, as you move through your normal day,
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  SPEAKER_00: occasionally ask yourself, what am I handing to the next person?
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_00: You get off a difficult phone call and walk straight into another conversation.
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  SPEAKER_00: What are you carrying with you?
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  SPEAKER_00: Somebody irritates you at work.
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  SPEAKER_00: Does the next person get the leftovers?
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  SPEAKER_00: You have a great conversation And walk away feeling lighter.
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  SPEAKER_00: Does some of that travel too?
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  SPEAKER_00: Just, just notice.
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  SPEAKER_00: That's enough.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_00: I think once we start looking, we realize how much human life moves through tiny transfers.
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  SPEAKER_00: Tone, attention, patience, dismissal, or encouragement.
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  SPEAKER_00: The look on somebody's face when we start speaking.
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  SPEAKER_00: All of that, all of that travels.
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  SPEAKER_00: Think about home.
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  SPEAKER_00: Someone walks through the door after a terrible day.
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  SPEAKER_00: The people inside didn't create that terrible day, but they may be about to receive part of it.
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  SPEAKER_00: Most of us have done that.
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  SPEAKER_00: I know I have.
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  SPEAKER_00: The frustrating thing happened somewhere else,
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  SPEAKER_00: yet somehow the people we love end up paying the handling fee.
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  SPEAKER_00: And that's not fair.
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  SPEAKER_00: Today gives us a chance to catch it.
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  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you sit in the car for 30 seconds before walking inside.
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  SPEAKER_00: Not because you're pretending everything is fine,
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  SPEAKER_00: but you're simply remembering that the person on the other side of that door
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  SPEAKER_00: That little bit of awareness can change the next hour.
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  SPEAKER_00: And this isn't about hiding how we feel either.
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  SPEAKER_00: If you've had a lousy day, say something.
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  SPEAKER_00: You can ask for some space.
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  SPEAKER_00: You can tell somebody, I'm frustrated right now and it isn't about you.
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  SPEAKER_00: That's different from handing them the frustration without explanation.
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  SPEAKER_00: Awareness gives us choices.
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  SPEAKER_00: That has been underneath every experiment this week.
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  SPEAKER_00: Choices.
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  SPEAKER_00: We notice something that normally happens automatically.
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  SPEAKER_00: And then we see whether we can respond a little more deliberately.
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  SPEAKER_00: Whether we can take control.
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  SPEAKER_00: Today we're noticing what travels after the moment is over.
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  SPEAKER_00: And this is where the idea of the weave becomes very real.
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  SPEAKER_00: One person affects another.
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  SPEAKER_00: That person affects somebody else.
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  SPEAKER_00: Most of the chain happens beyond our sight.
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  SPEAKER_00: We never know where it ends.
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  SPEAKER_00: But I don't want us to think only about the negative side of that.
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  SPEAKER_00: The good travels too.
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  SPEAKER_00: Someone is patient with you.
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  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you have a little more patience available when somebody else needs it.
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  SPEAKER_00: Someone makes you feel seen.
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  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you look up long enough to really see the next person.
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  SPEAKER_00: Someone makes you laugh.
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  SPEAKER_00: You carry a little lightness into the next room.
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  SPEAKER_00: Guys, that's the ripple.
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  SPEAKER_00: And it goes on and on.
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  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't have to repeat the original action.
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  SPEAKER_00: It only has to keep the good from stopping with us.
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  SPEAKER_00: And I love that.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_00: I love that so much because none of us has to create everything from scratch.
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  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes we're simply carrying something forward that somebody once handed to us.
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  SPEAKER_00: Maybe a teacher encouraged you years ago.
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  SPEAKER_00: Maybe someone showed you patience when you didn't particularly deserve it.
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  SPEAKER_00: Maybe a friend called at exactly the right time.
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  SPEAKER_00: Years later, some part of that still shows up in the way that you treat people.
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  SPEAKER_00: The original person may have no idea.
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  SPEAKER_00: The ripple outlived the moment.
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_00: That's one of the things I find so remarkable about human connection.
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  SPEAKER_00: We rarely, rarely know the full effect of our presence in somebody else's life.
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  SPEAKER_00: And that means today's experiment can't really give us complete results.
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  SPEAKER_00: Most of what happens after us will be invisible.
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe that's appropriate.
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  SPEAKER_00: Yesterday we practiced kindness without needing recognition.
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  SPEAKER_00: Today we practice influence without needing proof.
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  SPEAKER_00: We put something into the weave and let it travel beyond us.
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  SPEAKER_00: And no,
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  SPEAKER_00: you're not going to make it through 24 hours sending nothing but perfect patience
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  SPEAKER_00: into the world.
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  SPEAKER_00: It just doesn't happen.
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  SPEAKER_00: Neither am I.
• 8:56
  SPEAKER_00: At some point, somebody will annoy you.
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  SPEAKER_00: It's going to happen.
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  SPEAKER_00: You may say something sharper than you intended them.
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  SPEAKER_00: You might even start the bad ripple.
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  SPEAKER_00: That doesn't mean that the experiment failed.
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  SPEAKER_00: It means that you noticed.
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  SPEAKER_00: And once you notice, you can change what happens next.
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  SPEAKER_00: You can apologize.
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  SPEAKER_00: You can reset.
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  SPEAKER_00: You can decide that the irritation stops here instead of handing it to the next person.
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  SPEAKER_00: Decide.
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  SPEAKER_00: Make a choice.
• 9:35
  SPEAKER_00: That may be one of the most important parts of this whole experiment, guys.
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  SPEAKER_00: Think about it.
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_00: Don't you want to have control over what you do?
• 9:47
  SPEAKER_00: We can't prevent every harmful ripple, but we can interrupt one.
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_00: We can receive something painful Without automatically passing it forward.
• 9:57
  SPEAKER_00: That applies to more than bad moods.
• 10:01
  SPEAKER_00: Families pass things forward.
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  SPEAKER_00: Communities do too.
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  SPEAKER_00: Old resentments, fear, ways of treating people.
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  SPEAKER_00: Those things travel for years because nobody stops long enough
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  SPEAKER_00: to ask why they're still carrying them.
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  SPEAKER_00: This happens all over the world with everybody.
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  SPEAKER_00: Then one person notices.
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  SPEAKER_00: One person decides, I received this, but I don't have to hand it over.
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  SPEAKER_00: Guys, that is a ripple too.
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  SPEAKER_00: Maybe the most important kind of ripple.
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  SPEAKER_00: But keep today simple.
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  SPEAKER_00: For 24 hours, just watch.
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  SPEAKER_00: Notice what reaches you.
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  SPEAKER_00: Notice what leaves you.
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  SPEAKER_00: That's a big one.
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  SPEAKER_00: And every now and then,
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  SPEAKER_00: ask whether you want the next person carrying what you're about to give them.
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  SPEAKER_00: Then at the end of the day, think back on it.
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  SPEAKER_00: Did somebody change your mood?
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  SPEAKER_00: Did you stop one irritation from traveling?
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  SPEAKER_00: Did something good continue because you were paying a little more attention?
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  SPEAKER_00: Maybe nothing dramatic happened at all, and that's fine.
• 11:32
  SPEAKER_00: The point of this week was never to manufacture dramatic stories.
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  SPEAKER_00: It was to become a little more awake inside ordinary life.
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  SPEAKER_00: That's what all five experiments were really about.
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  SPEAKER_00: Notice.
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  SPEAKER_00: Reach out.
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  SPEAKER_00: Listen.
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  SPEAKER_00: Give.
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  SPEAKER_00: Pay attention to what continues after you.
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  SPEAKER_00: None of those things will make headlines,
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  SPEAKER_00: but they change what it feels like to be human for the people involved.
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  SPEAKER_00: And maybe that's where the love force lives most often, don't you think?
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  SPEAKER_00: Not in enormous declarations, in what passes between us every day.
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  SPEAKER_00: A moment of patience, a little humor, a kindness nobody can trace back to its beginning.
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  SPEAKER_00: One thread touches another and something moves.
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  SPEAKER_00: Then that thread touches someone else.
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  SPEAKER_00: We may never see where it goes.
• 12:50
  SPEAKER_00: I say it over and over again, but that's what you've got to realize.
• 12:56
  SPEAKER_00: For 24 hours, guys, we can at least become conscious of where it begins with us.
• 13:03
  SPEAKER_00: That's the final Infinite Threads experiment.
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  SPEAKER_00: Watch the ripple.
• 13:08
  SPEAKER_00: And if this week changed even one ordinary moment for you,
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  SPEAKER_00: I'd say our little experiment worked.
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_00: Why don't you come back here and put it in my comments so
• 13:17
  SPEAKER_00: that I can see how these experiments have worked out.
• 13:22
  SPEAKER_00: I'd appreciate it.
• 13:23
  SPEAKER_00: I love you guys very, very, very much, and you know what I need you to do.
• 13:28
  SPEAKER_00: Go out there and pass that on, okay?
• 13:31
  SPEAKER_00: Later, gators.
• 13:32
  SPEAKER_00: Bye-bye.
• 13:35
  [music]