Latest / Sessions Canceled / Nonsense of Consciousness: Ep. 53

Transcript

Nonsense of Consciousness: Ep. 53 · Sessions Canceled

• 0:10
  Hey everybody. So Matt got really obsessed with
• 0:13
  this orc thing and wanted to prove to Sam that the red one go
• 0:16
  faster. So they just went screaming into
• 0:18
  the warp and we haven't seen him since.
• 0:20
  So it's just gonna be me and Josh today.
• 0:22
  Welcome back everybody. This is the session scheduled
• 0:24
  broadcast or it's me. Clown.
• 0:26
  And my friend clown, I should have known it was gonna be a
• 0:29
  warp related joke. Yeah, I was trying to do a heart
• 0:34
  Char as the whole night, but I couldn't think of it.
• 0:47
  I was trying to think about how I could make a full frontal
• 0:49
  joke, because that's still pisses me.
• 0:51
  The fuck hahaha. I yeah, I there's a man it for
• 0:57
  anyone listening. There's a man of God damn.
• 0:59
  His name is full-frontal. I'm not gonna give you any more
• 1:01
  context. Just look him up.
• 1:03
  That's all I have to say on that one.
• 1:05
  He's just Char aznable from gundam with like better hair.
• 1:08
  It's great. Better haired really drippy
• 1:10
  mobiles. And that one time Char had a
• 1:20
  solid gold mobile suit. Oh my God.
• 1:26
  All right, well, I mean, this intro is pretty out how this
• 1:31
  episode is going to go because I had some ideas.
• 1:34
  And then our friends tried to prove that the red ones go fast
• 1:37
  though, so I cannot do any of those ideas.
• 1:40
  Alright? I, you know, I don't want to
• 1:41
  because they're pretty big ones, or holding on, do more holding
• 1:44
  about we're holding on Sunday, we're keeping the 12-gauge for
• 1:48
  the, for the bigger monsters to shoot or what, I don't know.
• 1:54
  No 50 cows today. Oh no, 50 cows, that's all I'm
• 1:58
  saying. Oh my god.
• 2:00
  Do you think old frontal and the weird death AI from Calgary?
• 2:06
  Think they get along? I you know what I.
• 2:09
  Yeah, I more dark and fucking late full-frontal would get
• 2:13
  along. I know that I don't think you'd
• 2:18
  get along 12:00 sharp because I think Charles would just say,
• 2:21
  hey, I'd, I can't feel malice. My shades are Gucci.
• 2:24
  Fuck. I'm like, I should have shot.
• 2:28
  Why did I say that? What I said, why did you?
• 2:29
  Say that. Why did you put me on this now?
• 2:31
  I don't know. I don't know.
• 2:33
  I don't know. It's Isaiah's dies.
• 2:36
  A has been subjecting me and everyone else to Kamen Rider and
• 2:40
  Gundam lately. So it's just, this is the life.
• 2:41
  We live look II as I've gotten. I think I've learned that I'm
• 2:45
  becoming my dad, he's like, uh-huh, because when I was
• 2:53
  growing up, my dad had like pretty much two or three hyper
• 2:57
  fixations, right? It was like Kung fu movies,
• 3:00
  Godzilla and Robotech and they've all just folded into
• 3:06
  tokusatsu because his knee is like all these.
• 3:08
  Penultimate. Hyper fixation is, gut is
• 3:10
  Godzilla, he's got into Godzilla everything Godzilla, shirts,
• 3:13
  Godzilla figures all over his fucking Liquor Cabinet, all over
• 3:17
  his work. Desks got a Godzilla everywhere.
• 3:20
  That sounds amazing. It is, it's great.
• 3:23
  Like you don't understand like every year or so I spend a few
• 3:27
  days down there and A lot of the times, he takes a shower in me
• 3:33
  and my brothers bathroom which is like, you know, it's he's got
• 3:36
  his own bathroom in his room, but the water pressure is like
• 3:38
  always sucked and he can never fix it.
• 3:40
  So you know, I'll be like on my phone or like, you know,
• 3:44
  watching a movie or something, he'll come out of the shower and
• 3:48
  stark white bath towel, and I just hear him walking into his
• 3:52
  room going, ten Tenten, Tenten, Tenten, Tenten, Tenten, Tenten,
• 3:56
  Tenten, and he's got his arms up.
• 3:57
  Flying got so high. Okay, my dad's an animal that's
• 4:04
  okay. This is this is not Laura.
• 4:06
  I was expecting to get today. No, no it's that.
• 4:09
  But I've learned that I'm just becoming him insofar as I had my
• 4:13
  hyper fixations. And like, anyone who knows?
• 4:16
  Me knows that I like my main three, four things that keep me
• 4:19
  going or like Godzilla Evangelion, Ultraman, and
• 4:22
  fucking Kamen Rider at this point, and it's just exploded.
• 4:25
  It's just hit 15. I fucking apparently can't go.
• 4:28
  Ten minutes without. Bringing it up or someone saying
• 4:30
  something that brings it up. I I'm a problem.
• 4:33
  Okay. All right.
• 4:37
  Well yeah, apropos of absolutely nothing had be real great if
• 4:43
  y'all just pause for a minute and hit the followers.
• 4:45
  Subscribe button, on whatever platform you listen on that'd be
• 4:48
  nice. Maybe maybe, maybe it'll summon
• 4:50
  Sam and Matt back to our reality.
• 4:53
  It's a big do homeboy. I can hope you can cope.
• 4:58
  Yeah, don't be him. Oh my God.
• 5:01
  All right, well, so because we're not doing our topics are
• 5:07
  the topics I had thought I figured we could just sort of do
• 5:10
  like a Lightning round Consciousness.
• 5:13
  Sort of yeah. I mean like fucking ravaged
• 5:16
  dinner rapid-fire. Yeah.
• 5:18
  Just ramble on about the nonsense that I've been thinking
• 5:20
  about with my game for the last. Yes, weeks.
• 5:25
  And I like, this is an intervention.
• 5:27
  You're executing on yourself. That what this is, maybe this is
• 5:32
  so no self executed intervention, might be a lie.
• 5:35
  Although I don't really know what I'd be intervening against.
• 5:38
  Like I have no problems in my game of just what I've had
• 5:40
  thoughts. As a, as a game master, I would
• 5:44
  argue all thoughts as a game master, our problems to be
• 5:47
  solved. I don't think you ever like,
• 5:51
  which makes it sound - that's not be saying there -, but
• 5:53
  everything is sort of a problem to be solved in a sense because
• 5:56
  that's God probably solve challenge to overcome.
• 5:58
  Yeah, basically. Yeah like so the first one I've
• 6:02
  been thinking about is how to get along Kamen Rider in the
• 6:07
  get. No kidding.
• 6:08
  I can't not do kick. So here's the thumb Yokai.
• 6:11
  God damn it. It's too late.
• 6:14
  God damn it. I'm not saying that I have
• 6:17
  concrete you go with my setting. I'm not saying that for a fact
• 6:21
  he exists. I'm just saying there's a
• 6:23
  nonzero chance he doesn't exist if it's I believe it.
• 6:28
  All right, go ahead and so I won't decide holding it.
• 6:34
  You do this to me? That time.
• 6:35
  Say I did I did I really did. I don't even know why.
• 6:38
  I don't know what's wrong with me.
• 6:39
  I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know.
• 6:40
  What are you people? Why am I here Kamen Rider fan?
• 6:43
  I think there is a level of stupid.
• 6:45
  I really appreciate it. That it's like Power Rangers but
• 6:48
  Power Rangers turn to 11 and I just yeah it's Power Rangers
• 6:53
  with more plastic armor for yeah.
• 6:55
  Really adult Power Rangers. Yeah, fucking got Glick.
• 6:58
  Heed about what four times. I mean I shouldn't be surprised.
• 7:02
  I used to be very obsessed with power.
• 7:04
  You like it's not that surprising.
• 7:06
  Yeah. I it's it's yeah.
• 7:09
  Fair enough. Because big same.
• 7:11
  He'll get to what you actually gonna say, though.
• 7:13
  God damn it. Yeah, I'm did.
• 7:14
  Look you did this to me. I know what I did?
• 7:17
  I never wear. So one of the things I've been
• 7:20
  thinking about is, you know, I've said a lot of good things
• 7:25
  about a lot of good things about hell escapes while I was going
• 7:28
  to start. If I didn't stop myself and I've
• 7:33
  known that, you know, it it is sort of by Nature like a Post
• 7:39
  beta like it's not. It doesn't feel like a full
• 7:42
  release for stick a nun's. Pam shit ain't done.
• 7:45
  No. Yeah it's not, it ain't done it
• 7:47
  since it's early access like yeah, yeah.
• 7:50
  It's one of those things that will perpetually exist in Early
• 7:52
  Access and now come out of it and like a lot of things I was
• 7:59
  just used to being like you know making up calls about certain
• 8:04
  rulings on the Fly. You're just being like OK we'll
• 8:06
  just ignore this but it's again to a After three years that I'm
• 8:11
  getting real tired of doing it. Yep.
• 8:15
  And I just wish it would do what?
• 8:18
  I fucking tell it to do sometimes.
• 8:21
  Yep. That's right.
• 8:22
  Not not do what I want when I tell it to do but like, do what
• 8:25
  it says on the tin. Yeah.
• 8:27
  Because it's like we were talking about this yesterday.
• 8:31
  They're one of the main things that he'll escapes does.
• 8:36
  Is it sort of assumes that you already know 5e which, you know,
• 8:43
  You know, it if it was just a mod, right?
• 8:46
  If it was just a tool kit to be used, that's fine because you
• 8:50
  need 5 e to work in tandem with it right.
• 8:54
  Like, you can't play a toolkit by itself.
• 8:57
  You need something to times the toolkit on, but it's not
• 9:00
  advertised as that. No, it's not advertise that
• 9:02
  it's, it's advertised as a full hack to stand on.
• 9:05
  Jim. Yeah.
• 9:06
  It would you just sort of isn't unfortunately it?
• 9:10
  So. There's an interesting thing.
• 9:13
  There, it kind of is In the older sense of what a hack was.
• 9:23
  Because back in the dizzay in the in the older days of RPGs, a
• 9:30
  heck of a game essentially was hey you already played game.
• 9:35
  X ear is a set of rules. Why to attach to and change game
• 9:41
  X. But you have to understand gamex
• 9:43
  like hacks back in the day. Weren't Often not Standalone
• 9:49
  games and could not be used to stand to load games and I think
• 9:55
  probably Pathfinder, I don't know that I'm sort of this.
• 9:58
  Pause pause the stream of Consciousness.
• 10:00
  This is a this is me throwing out conjecture and guesses.
• 10:03
  I don't know the history of this specifically but if I were to
• 10:06
  take a guess, Pathfinder was a big reason that this shifted,
• 10:10
  where a hack started to become its own game.
• 10:13
  And then later down the road and this one I do Uno apocalypse
• 10:19
  world became responsible for sort of the idea of like a hack
• 10:23
  family, right? Because apocalypse World spawned
• 10:28
  powered by the apocalypse. And if somebody says a game is
• 10:31
  powered by the apocalypse you understand there's like a
• 10:34
  scaffolding structure at that game is based on that, it is
• 10:38
  going to utilize. So if you pick up one powered by
• 10:42
  the apocalypse game and another Power by the apocalypse games,
• 10:44
  there's things that will very quickly mirror.
• 10:47
  Like mirror between them and you will understand because you
• 10:51
  understand the scaffolding 5e has also become this where Phi V
• 10:56
  is used as like a scaffolding system.
• 10:58
  Although we don't have a cool name for it.
• 10:59
  Like Blades of the darkest Forge, the dark Power by the
• 11:02
  apocalypse is for Apocalypse world.
• 11:04
  We don't have like a cool name for like 5 e hacks, even though
• 11:08
  they're doing everyone just has five Eli.
• 11:10
  Yeah, they're just five, he hacks but in reality, there is
• 11:12
  like a culture family thing. There is like a hack family
• 11:16
  around 5e now, too. Just got a funny, like I think
• 11:21
  they, I think it's literally just called 5e like it's any
• 11:24
  FIV, which is not, which is, I mean, this kinda lame great.
• 11:30
  It doesn't learn really roll off the tongue, does not start
• 11:33
  really catchy or post. There's one for this one for
• 11:35
  Burning Wheel to what's it called, what the fuck seriously.
• 11:38
  Yeah. Because the the greater Burning
• 11:40
  Wheel made a bunch of burning wheel spin offs.
• 11:42
  And then that started like mouse guard is, is based on the
• 11:45
  Burning Wheel system. Interesting.
• 11:48
  So yeah, there's one for Burning Wheel.
• 11:50
  Also, the guy who made cyberpunk red sort of coined his system, I
• 11:54
  forget what he called it, but there was sort of a there was
• 11:56
  nothing there to anyway, play Big?
• 12:00
  Yeah. So like how escapes is sort of a
• 12:01
  hack in the older sense of it, which is kind of funny.
• 12:04
  I don't know if that was on purpose necessarily but it kind
• 12:09
  of is, it's definitely not how it was advertised.
• 12:11
  So I'm going to sell you, definitely not advertise that
• 12:13
  way. And having looked through, also,
• 12:15
  there are other game hyper. That appears to be much the same
• 12:18
  problem. Yeah, you know, it's funny.
• 12:21
  Hyperlinks came out first, and I feel like it has a level of
• 12:25
  polish that he'll escapes does not have weirdly enough, maybe
• 12:30
  Hills, like she was just rub. It almost feels like it.
• 12:33
  Right? Like I, you know, I in all
• 12:36
  fairness, I've read the hell escapes rule book.
• 12:40
  Multiple times or three times like cover to cover just to make
• 12:44
  sure like you know, if there was like a really weird thing that
• 12:46
  happened in game or someone wanted to ask me something about
• 12:49
  the game and I couldn't answer it says I got to read this thing
• 12:51
  while that led me to this thing that led me to this thing so on
• 12:53
  so forth. So on for you know, I only read
• 12:57
  hyperlinks once and it was a pretty fast read.
• 12:59
  Like I didn't really take the time to really collate all the
• 13:02
  things that I had read so maybe. But it does seem like I Berlin's
• 13:09
  has a level of polish that He'll skate slacks, which is
• 13:11
  unfortunate. Huh.
• 13:14
  So why are you bringing this up, though?
• 13:16
  I feel like a drink. Oh yeah.
• 13:18
  So I'm just sort of getting annoyed by the inconsistency in
• 13:25
  the inconsistencies. If that makes sense, like we
• 13:28
  were talking yesterday and I and for the record I basically what
• 13:33
  I'm doing is I'm trying to go through all of the gambits,
• 13:37
  they're like to stand-ins for spells that every class gets
• 13:40
  Inhale escapes. And I'm trying to sort of make a
• 13:43
  Narada about the ones that my players are using specifically
• 13:46
  because they're the only ones that are going to affect me
• 13:48
  directly and even in that, There were some were like for example
• 13:56
  range, right? Like range is a big thing with
• 13:58
  spells, a lot of the gambits for hell.
• 14:01
  Escapes use a weapons like range as a spell and in some phrases
• 14:07
  like sometimes range, says, weapon range.
• 14:10
  And then sometimes it just says weapon.
• 14:14
  That's a really minor one, right?
• 14:15
  But like that and it's like something so simple.
• 14:18
  Not having like a codified phrase or term that you would
• 14:22
  use. You just kind of Went.
• 14:24
  Yeah, that one makes sense and meaning that one makes sense,
• 14:27
  you know? Yeah, I mean, that is a, that's
• 14:31
  an editing. That's just, it didn't get
• 14:36
  proper clean up that adding pass.
• 14:38
  Yeah, I'm sure. Like, I feel like that's a lot
• 14:42
  of it, like a lady. It probably needed a two or
• 14:46
  three more. Real passes.
• 14:48
  It with some serious edit, jobs to be like Completely you know,
• 14:54
  quality control releasable as a full product and not like a
• 14:57
  weird Early Access thing. Yeah.
• 15:00
  The one that like, you know, when we talked about this
• 15:03
  yesterday, the one that had me just fucked for like an hour and
• 15:05
  a half more like an hour. Probably was one of the
• 15:09
  abilities specified duration 1 round and In 5e it's
• 15:15
  specifically whatever something says, one round, it will specify
• 15:19
  on the start of your turn. End of your turn, start of
• 15:22
  enemies turn and of enemies turn and it should have 20 so on and
• 15:26
  so forth. Yeah.
• 15:28
  It'll be specific about the time span.
• 15:30
  Yeah. Hyperlinks didn't do that?
• 15:32
  It just said, well, the duration is whatever.
• 15:34
  The duration, the thing says, he'll escapes.
• 15:37
  Yeah. Sorry.
• 15:37
  It was a just said this last for the duration of one round.
• 15:42
  So then I started thinking like, what the fuck does that mean?
• 15:47
  Is if you think about one round, that could either mean one round
• 15:50
  passes and it comes back to your turn or one round passes.
• 15:54
  And then initiative, 20 kicks off which is technically the
• 15:57
  start of any so, What do I do? Because if you're you know, if
• 16:05
  one of the players is last on the initiative and let's say
• 16:08
  their initiative one and then you know, initiative will take
• 16:11
  down to zero and jump back up to 20.
• 16:13
  Well then that's the end of the round like sucks to suck loser.
• 16:19
  I don't think initiative 20 quote unquote is like a end of
• 16:22
  round official thing and get it's not like you're
• 16:26
  extrapolating that. Yeah I mean it's because
• 16:29
  anything that Has an effect on the GM side will almost always
• 16:34
  kicks off at initiative. 20. Yes.
• 16:36
  But it's not an official end of round thing because you can have
• 16:38
  an initiative higher than 20, you can.
• 16:40
  Yeah, yeah. Pretty easy.
• 16:45
  Yes, you can. But yet I always I was get, I
• 16:49
  was just sort of thinking about it and I like how would the from
• 16:53
  the GM side of things you should just?
• 16:54
  I mean top of round really the phraseology.
• 16:58
  Yeah. It's a There's not much you can
• 17:02
  do about it. I think you know when you're
• 17:04
  dealing with if you found a game that you like and it's sort of
• 17:08
  an incomplete mess and you know, it's an incomplete mess.
• 17:12
  You just gotta accept that either a, you're just going to
• 17:16
  say fuck it and ignore the mess and just deal with the problem
• 17:20
  as it comes or be, do the extra work to do a little bit of
• 17:24
  fixing or your own table. The good thing about fixing, you
• 17:28
  know, fixing a game, you're running.
• 17:31
  Is your only fixing it or your table so you don't need to be as
• 17:37
  precise with the language or as specific with the ruling or you
• 17:41
  don't need it to cover a lot of bases, right?
• 17:43
  You only need to cover the use case scenarios at your table, so
• 17:46
  it's a little bit easier, but it's annoying and there's no way
• 17:50
  for it to not be annoying. The, I think the particular
• 17:53
  annoyance here though, is the fact that you didn't know the
• 17:57
  game was like, broken and or unfinished.
• 18:02
  No, I did. I knew even before I started
• 18:05
  playing the game, like, I like when I sorta, I mean, I remember
• 18:08
  you talking about it and but even when you were
• 18:12
  acknowledging, it's sort of An Unfinished thing.
• 18:14
  I don't know if you realize quite the degree, you know.
• 18:18
  Yeah. Yeah.
• 18:19
  I mean yes, because there are some things where you read it
• 18:21
  and then you're like oh I get it but then you don't you don't
• 18:25
  really get it until you hit that instead of the get the wall of
• 18:28
  it. Yeah.
• 18:28
  Yeah. Like still a fucking still it
• 18:30
  meets. It's mechanics players like LP
• 18:33
  and he he just got an ability. That just lets him turn any base
• 18:38
  material in the game into another material of any kind.
• 18:41
  You could turn bone into nuclear material, fucking how it just
• 18:46
  says appropriate tool kit. But that has to assume that
• 18:48
  there is a toolkit that can do it.
• 18:49
  Like, yeah, it doesn't specify anything and I wouldn't have
• 18:53
  really had to like wrestle with that until they hit Level 13,
• 18:57
  right? Yeah.
• 19:00
  Like the real. Remember, when you were looking
• 19:02
  at the game and you were talking about stuff like, oh, they said
• 19:05
  there were going to be Base, building kit mechanics, but
• 19:07
  there are like there was stuff like that.
• 19:09
  I remember you talking about. Yeah.
• 19:11
  Yeah, basically, they were supposed to look put out like an
• 19:14
  expansion that had Base building in like faction based stuff and
• 19:19
  it just far as I'm aware it just never came out which bum the
• 19:23
  shit out of me. Yeah.
• 19:27
  Like to such a degree that I had to like, pretty much take that
• 19:29
  whole mechanic out because I was No.
• 19:31
  It was like a mechanic on low and right.
• 19:33
  I was gonna get my returns at some point and then I didn't.
• 19:36
  Yeah, I'm looking at their drive-thru RPG all the
• 19:40
  supplements tops up here. I'll escapes her for hyper laid.
• 19:45
  Bitch. Yeah.
• 19:48
  Hip. Yeah.
• 19:50
  I mean oh and it looks like they're working on a cyberpunk
• 19:52
  game. Oh, that is at this.
• 19:57
  Thanks guys. Yeah, Keek is a sneak preview
• 20:02
  class for cyber cyber a cyberpunk game.
• 20:06
  Genre adaptation of Ivy, huh? So it seems like they put hell
• 20:11
  escapes out and went. Yeah, fuck this shit.
• 20:15
  Yeah, fucking seems like it. Yeah.
• 20:17
  After all the free fucking promotion.
• 20:18
  I've been doing these guys Kathy Hmm.
• 20:23
  Yeah, weird. I wonder why they dropped it?
• 20:26
  Yeah, I fucking eye if somebody knows.
• 20:29
  You know, all 30 of our listeners have wanted, you know,
• 20:32
  probably won't. But if you do, you know, means a
• 20:36
  lot to me. Yeah.
• 20:38
  So the, the the real conundrum of all of this sort of manifests
• 20:42
  in so far, as I've only imagine this game going on for another
• 20:47
  like and months maximum. Maybe less.
• 20:53
  So now that we're about to hit like three years officially of
• 20:58
  game time, right? Is there any point in me doing
• 21:02
  this stuff? And they don't realistically
• 21:06
  know, right? Like I can I get it like there
• 21:10
  really isn't a point for me to do this stuff but I feel like I
• 21:13
  want to because now that things are going to get more noodley at
• 21:16
  late level, I might as well tackled it now rather than never
• 21:23
  But yeah, I'm sort of struggling with the like, what is it all
• 21:27
  for? What does it all mean?
• 21:29
  You know, Um, is there a point in doing it now?
• 21:35
  Yes, but actually no, yeah, I mean yes because it matters to
• 21:39
  me but no. Because it's been no, I wouldn't
• 21:43
  even say that. I would say.
• 21:46
  I would say yes or sort of keeping your own sanity and
• 21:53
  check to get over the finish line, but no, in terms of any
• 21:58
  sort of broader long-term plan. So I think the trick here is
• 22:04
  when dealing with this frustration is step, one is, you
• 22:09
  gotta identify what am I absolutely going to need in use
• 22:13
  in the last leg of thing. Right.
• 22:16
  So, you know, let's say, you know, we'll use a will go into
• 22:20
  another game realm as comparison here.
• 22:22
  So you're running, you're running 25e game.
• 22:24
  It's been two years blah, blah, layers of level 15.
• 22:27
  Yada yada yada, you're in the last like a campaign.
• 22:33
  You have never once touched, you know, the downtime rules, right?
• 22:40
  Let's just say, you never, once looked at the downtown rules,
• 22:44
  You need to look at yourself and have a good log, think.
• 22:47
  And be like, all right, in these last couple of months of this
• 22:50
  game, I gonna even fucking bother with the downtime rules.
• 22:55
  And if the answer is no, just move on, move on with your life
• 22:59
  and accept that, oh, I probably should have used these early on,
• 23:02
  but I didn't so whatever. We're moving on and just move
• 23:06
  forward, right? That's kind of what you got to
• 23:10
  figure out. Is like, what stuff are you
• 23:12
  absolutely going to use? Make sure that that falls into
• 23:15
  place, well enough, that things can function and move on and
• 23:18
  don't even need to work very well.
• 23:19
  It just needs to be, you know, passively functional.
• 23:23
  And then any stuff that's like excess fat just trimmed a bitch
• 23:26
  off, just don't even worry about it.
• 23:27
  You might have had some cool ideas early on.
• 23:29
  They like oh I didn't get to implement this plant Just Let It
• 23:32
  Go. Just Let It Go.
• 23:34
  Just only, you know you're in the you're on the final editing
• 23:37
  page. You got to get your 600 page
• 23:39
  novel down to 450 Pages. It's time to start cutting that
• 23:43
  characters. Mom dead, that characters, kid
• 23:45
  fucking dead that's or never mind not in the story anymore.
• 23:48
  That guy, I don't know, he fucks off doesn't matter.
• 23:50
  Like just start taking shit out bare minimums.
• 23:54
  And then, once you have all that, okay.
• 23:57
  Do any of the bare minimum baby children's?
• 23:59
  Do any of these kids need attention.
• 24:01
  All right, he's kids fucking brain-dead and the answer is
• 24:04
  probably going to be a couple of them.
• 24:06
  So you know if you deal with that, Nice.
• 24:10
  That's but that's basically how I do it.
• 24:11
  Like, there's no point in trying to like, There's no point in
• 24:18
  trying to put like a nap and you know in an amount of effort into
• 24:22
  getting all the dominoes to fall perfectly when you only need ten
• 24:26
  percent of The Dominoes to fall correctly in the rest of the
• 24:29
  Domino's could fuck it explode and go up your ass and it
• 24:31
  doesn't matter, you know, like people.
• 24:34
  Yeah. You know you just sort of figure
• 24:36
  out it's a You know, it's like if you just figure out what the
• 24:41
  immediate workload needs to be and then go from there and you
• 24:46
  know, the only only scenario where I would say where I would
• 24:50
  say that's not the case is if you know, for some reason you
• 24:54
  were thinking, I want to make all these fixes to then run a
• 24:58
  subsequent campaign with the fixes applied from the start.
• 25:02
  Then it might be worth it. But as far as I'm aware, that's
• 25:05
  not the plan. So no, it's not.
• 25:07
  I mean, I'd be lying if I said Part of me, wasn't at least
• 25:11
  partially doing it, in case, for whatever reason, someone wants
• 25:15
  to run, he'll Escapes in the future.
• 25:17
  I can be like, hear the notes. I did the work so you don't have
• 25:20
  to your fucking welcome. You know, the thing is, is like
• 25:24
  I don't even think that's worth it because good chance, somebody
• 25:28
  takes your notes and goes, I don't like these notes and then
• 25:32
  just ignores them. Anyway, maybe but the chant, you
• 25:35
  know, I feel like the the chance that someone does take it and
• 25:37
  learns from where I had to Do a lot of work and they don't have
• 25:41
  to do all that much work. To me, that's worth it.
• 25:45
  I would say you can give them the spark notes but any like
• 25:49
  real specific mechanical fixes and shit.
• 25:53
  Probably not worth it. Like you could tell them like oh
• 25:58
  this came up a whole bunch, you know, be worried about this like
• 26:02
  oh, the players are going to do a lot more damage than you
• 26:04
  think, make sure you're aware of that like, oh, a lot of the
• 26:08
  gambits don't, you know, have weird wording or don't always
• 26:10
  work the way you want them to be aware of that, but don't give
• 26:13
  him like hyper specific. Like this is how I fixed it
• 26:16
  mechanically, unless they ask is probably not worth it.
• 26:20
  No, like if somebody asks like, oh, did you fix this Gambit and
• 26:25
  then you can Yes I did then. Yeah.
• 26:26
  Sure. But if they don't ask, it's kind
• 26:28
  of like throwing it is throwing too much shit at them as just
• 26:31
  going to make the brain, go poop and shut down.
• 26:34
  Yeah, yeah, well, I sort of saw it as someone being like, hey, I
• 26:37
  want to run house Gabe's, you ran it, what should I know?
• 26:40
  And then I can be like, all right?
• 26:41
  Well, here's the notes. Yeah, what should I know is
• 26:44
  fine? But like I'm saying, don't give
• 26:47
  them your like, here's my like literal Homebrew notes.
• 26:52
  Yeah. I mean, it both of you to
• 26:53
  survive, Homer news. You know what I mean?
• 26:56
  Yes, when you were writing things down, literally
• 26:58
  yesterday, so you got something. Yeah.
• 27:02
  It's actually funny. It's sort of segues into
• 27:04
  something else. I've been thinking about, which
• 27:06
  is The characters themselves right?
• 27:10
  Like I've been trying late, I have what three characters left
• 27:18
  due to do backstory stuff for and thankfully for one of them
• 27:22
  it's mostly done and say about 60 percent of it is done for one
• 27:27
  player, it's like 40%. And then someone else is like
• 27:30
  10. Just because I just finally got
• 27:32
  some backstory, you know, who you fucking are.
• 27:38
  So, I have to, I re I have seven levels left and like, roughly 10
• 27:42
  months, which you break that down for sessions a month.
• 27:46
  That's 40 sessions to figure all this shit out and still do the
• 27:51
  the endgame stuff. I want to do, which is doable,
• 27:53
  it's possible. But like, How much of it should
• 27:58
  I focus on the back story? Stuff, is there a point where I
• 28:03
  should just say, like, Let's trim down some of the more
• 28:08
  extrapolate story. Background stuff I had going on
• 28:10
  to like finish out the story and then we can do some like
• 28:16
  finishing touches once the story stuff is over, like once they
• 28:18
  hit Level 20, or should I just throw out, what, like, whatever
• 28:25
  endgame I had and then Focus everything into the background
• 28:28
  stuff and then see where I'm at, and then maybe push some
• 28:32
  background, the, like the story stuff, you know what I mean?
• 28:35
  Not really sure what what my pacing is going to be.
• 28:38
  And I'm the closer I get to higher level.
• 28:41
  The more, like worried. I am rare level level 0 to 10,
• 28:44
  or love what? Level one attend was like
• 28:45
  fucking Breeze. You, I don't judge.
• 28:47
  This is so easy. And everything is great, you
• 28:49
  know, I got no worry, there are 20 whole levels to fix any of
• 28:51
  these problems is it's great. And now I've got an 07 and I'm
• 28:56
  like, ah, fuck Yep. Well, step one is just trim.
• 29:01
  All the fat off at dawn. This point, like You got you
• 29:07
  have no room for fuckery. No room for nonsense.
• 29:11
  Anything that is not important or necessary.
• 29:15
  Trim that shit off. What's that?
• 29:17
  There was a dumb little sidequest about the farmers,
• 29:19
  baby. Whatever Farmers baby fucking
• 29:21
  exploded. Goodbye us that the drought need
• 29:24
  help because the spider right there, baby, don't care.
• 29:26
  Fuck off. Let them get eaten by the
• 29:28
  spiders, move on. No, like trim All That.
• 29:33
  That's step one. Once you trim, all the fat you
• 29:35
  go, okay? What do I give a shit about?
• 29:39
  What a my players give a shit about if your players really
• 29:42
  really give a shit about Their personal back story and really
• 29:46
  really, really, really want to resolve that and go for those.
• 29:51
  And, you know, if there's a little bit of leeway room after
• 29:56
  resolving backstory shit, then maybe there's a little wrap-up
• 30:00
  final quest that guy fight, something like that.
• 30:04
  If you players kind of don't care so much about the us about
• 30:08
  their like backstory wrap-up and would rather just kind of see
• 30:12
  where the like, overall plot of things is going.
• 30:14
  Just want to see the sort of like, let's get to the end of
• 30:18
  this thing and just fucking get to the end of thing.
• 30:22
  Like anything that's immediate like anything that it wouldn't
• 30:27
  make sense to ignore. Don't ignore it.
• 30:31
  You know, if, if one of the carries bet, what?
• 30:36
  Whoo, but look, I just say carries One of the characters
• 30:41
  backstory is, you know, buck in, I don't know, my dad's gonna be
• 30:48
  here in three days to, like, kidnap me and bring me back
• 30:51
  home, you know, don't ignore that.
• 30:54
  Like in the three days, Dad, shows up because that's such an
• 30:57
  alike, an immediate thing. And it would be really weird if
• 30:59
  suddenly dad just changed his mind and went home and fucked
• 31:01
  off like that sort of thing. But if one of the players is
• 31:04
  like, ahh I really gotta repair my relationship with my sister.
• 31:09
  It's like, man, we can throw that to the side and just have a
• 31:12
  session of like an epilogue session.
• 31:15
  Maybe you go talk to your sister and the epilogue session.
• 31:17
  Yeah, we really need to do that at the table necessarily, you
• 31:19
  know what I mean? It's all like, yeah, any of
• 31:23
  that. Any of the, if your players want
• 31:26
  to go towards the big arcing plot thing, Any of that excess
• 31:30
  backstory stuff that's, you know, sort of a little bit of
• 31:33
  fluff or what the fuck out deal with the immediate do to the
• 31:37
  final Arc players want to do backstory, throw the final Arc,
• 31:41
  the fuck out, finish up the backstory stuff.
• 31:43
  See what's left over. Make a new sort of semi new
• 31:46
  Final art, not completely brand new.
• 31:48
  Like you could probably still use whatever idea you might
• 31:50
  have. Had you just got to reconfigure
• 31:51
  it. You know, like, all right.
• 31:54
  Oh so the final Arc was gonna be my player and his whole motto.
• 31:59
  I players. And his family were going to
• 32:01
  charge against the guy who like betrayed them.
• 32:03
  All those years ago, that's going to take too much time,
• 32:07
  we're going to rejigger it, okay?
• 32:08
  The final guy is encroaching on the town instead and is going to
• 32:13
  just kill them all and they just have to defend themselves and
• 32:16
  that's just how we finish it up, but like it's the same dude or
• 32:18
  whatever. Like you just sort of readjust
• 32:21
  it to like, fit the new suit, In the new structure.
• 32:27
  You know these two these two characters weren't related
• 32:30
  before while they are now because that speeds things up no
• 32:33
  shit like they are now fucker. You know like oh the dragon that
• 32:37
  the players were going to go fight.
• 32:39
  Well originally he was going to be a different Dragon but you
• 32:41
  know what? He's going to be the dragon.
• 32:43
  They saw in session 5 because that will round things out
• 32:45
  better and quicker. So he's the dragon from Session
• 32:48
  5, I change my fucking mind shit like that.
• 32:52
  Yeah. I mean I I'm sort of lucky
• 32:54
  because two of the characters backstories.
• 32:57
  Somewhat late. Like they've been linked but not
• 33:03
  On purpose. It just sort of worked out that
• 33:05
  way. So I feel like if I play my
• 33:08
  cards, right, I can figure out how to resolve them.
• 33:11
  Both, at almost the same time and not have them feel like
• 33:15
  they're being a shafted. You know what I mean?
• 33:18
  Yeah, as I was saying, like wrap up.
• 33:19
  Whatever is in like the immediate purview.
• 33:24
  That occur have fucked up, dude. I mean, it ain't gotta be
• 33:29
  perfect. Just Slap some shit in there,
• 33:33
  huh? Because yeah, I kind of brings
• 33:38
  me to another thing that I'm trying to figure out how to
• 33:40
  resolve for plot reasons, and like the deed is done.
• 33:42
  So it's fine. Like it doesn't really matter
• 33:44
  if, this is a spoiler, but, um, they just fought the, the bad
• 33:48
  guy for like the, this is Art. That's been going on rights for
• 33:52
  the last three, four months. And I thought I did it.
• 33:57
  I did it, and it didn't take a year and a half, and it feels so
• 34:01
  good. Good.
• 34:03
  Yeah I think it's good. I was like I want it to last
• 34:06
  like three and a half and before months and God damn it.
• 34:09
  I pulled it off. Let's go Gamers.
• 34:12
  Yeah. Yeah.
• 34:14
  You know, that's one of those things that's it.
• 34:15
  That's a GM muscle. You figure out over time, right?
• 34:18
  Mmm, and also different systems can Flex that muscle of
• 34:22
  different ways. yeah, I a lot of basically, a lot of what I'm
• 34:28
  saying here is, You're in, you know, you're in the final
• 34:33
  stages. You ain't got no fucking around
• 34:35
  room, just and and don't, there are no.
• 34:39
  Let me I should rephrase that. You're in the final stages.
• 34:42
  Don't be precious about things, just do, just do the thing, you
• 34:48
  know, like, I don't think too deeply like, does this make
• 34:51
  sense with? This makes it does this fit in
• 34:53
  my world that doesn't matter. Just do it just fight later.
• 34:56
  All right, I mean that I'm gonna have a hard time doing that
• 34:59
  because I've worked really fucking hard to make sure that
• 35:02
  managing. So a bitch, I mean no fish, but
• 35:05
  also, it doesn't matter. You're in the final stages, this
• 35:08
  is what you have to do. This is how it goes.
• 35:10
  Yeah, I got I don't think I can Like I think I would struggle
• 35:12
  too much. I'd sit there and you ain't
• 35:14
  gotta join me so I could get it to work.
• 35:15
  I don't know what to do then because all right, if it's a
• 35:18
  lot, make if I, if it's if it's not internally justifiable and
• 35:21
  its own logic, then like, all right, let me put it this way.
• 35:24
  You throw all the rules out the window.
• 35:25
  That's the issue. I'm running to.
• 35:27
  Let me put it this way. Either you do that or just
• 35:32
  fucking end the game now. Like you can't.
• 35:35
  I feel like you're being a little like one or the other has
• 35:39
  to be. I'm pretty sure we can find a
• 35:40
  job for a good half. Way II mean I'm being extreme
• 35:43
  but the point I'm making in the extreme like I'm not, I think
• 35:48
  you're taking me a little too, literally hear what I'm saying
• 35:51
  is you can't, if you want to wrap things up and you're
• 35:56
  setting a timer on the wrapping up and you cannot get precious
• 36:01
  about things, you know. This is the stage.
• 36:05
  Let's, let's, let's, let's go into the universe of art for a
• 36:08
  moment here. This is the stage of the drawing
• 36:11
  where you're figuring out. You got your, you're doing
• 36:14
  gestures, you figure it out pose, you're working on
• 36:16
  perspective, nothing in the drawing is precious.
• 36:19
  If you need to erase the five, the the five hours you spent on
• 36:23
  trying to figure out that fucking position of the arm,
• 36:25
  then you erase the five hours you spent on position on the
• 36:27
  arm. So that in the six hour, you can
• 36:29
  get it right. Like there is no preciousness
• 36:32
  just do things. Just do and you know I mean keep
• 36:37
  them internally consistent enough, that it stopped like I'm
• 36:40
  not saying have fucking space, aliens drop from the sky for no
• 36:43
  goddamn reason like keep it internally consistent enough
• 36:46
  that it's like plausible but don't be so precious about it
• 36:50
  where it's like you need to you know have five steps back
• 36:53
  planned and five steps forward plan for every single character
• 36:56
  they meet. Like if you just need to throw a
• 36:58
  character in to make something work, even though that character
• 37:02
  wasn't there before then Just throw the fucking character just
• 37:05
  do it. And then if somebody asks, where
• 37:06
  the hell that dude come from came from justify a later?
• 37:10
  Come up with some reason later if you, you know, if it even
• 37:12
  matter it might not even come up.
• 37:14
  That's the thing especially because once your players pick
• 37:18
  up on, if they haven't already, once your players pick up on the
• 37:21
  fact that we're hitting that point of of like home stretch,
• 37:25
  they're not going to care as much you know, they're not gonna
• 37:27
  like the things in the purview that you might have thought or
• 37:30
  interesting or giving a shit about before as a player.
• 37:33
  She realized like oh, we're in the final Arc, I don't give a
• 37:36
  shit about it, you know, it's like that.
• 37:38
  It's the part in the open world video game, where you've been
• 37:41
  playing the open world game for so long that you don't give a
• 37:44
  shit about any of the open World quest anymore?
• 37:47
  You're just beelining, the main story, you're ignoring every
• 37:50
  side quest, you're ignoring every NPC.
• 37:52
  You're not climbing any more fucking radio towers.
• 37:55
  You're not collecting any more bare ass is your just beelining
• 37:58
  that main story because you want to get to the fucking end of it.
• 38:00
  You know, it's that I know that you're trying to Make a point.
• 38:04
  I have could honestly say, I have never done that.
• 38:06
  Okay, well, then you are the two percent of society because,
• 38:10
  like, most people after a certain point in open world
• 38:13
  games, stop caring about all the side shit and just go to the B
• 38:16
  line, the main story and finish it.
• 38:18
  Let's do this. But it's way I did.
• 38:20
  All of the find the random bullshit, like many jobs in
• 38:25
  cyberpunk before I did, the final level.
• 38:27
  Yeah, you are a tiny, tiny, minority, I know, I know I am
• 38:31
  mine, I'll do not do this and you need Need to end your
• 38:34
  players are probably not going to want to do that.
• 38:37
  So just of course they're not going to want to do realize what
• 38:40
  I'm trying to really. hit is like, I like I'm trying to
• 38:48
  speedrun the shit they don't care about, but Make sure that
• 38:52
  the points have enough like narrative oomph and that them
• 38:57
  like the important moments. Don't feel like they came out of
• 38:59
  left field. His because like me as a player
• 39:03
  I would care about that like that would bother the shit out
• 39:06
  of me. Cat stepped on my fucking mute
• 39:10
  button. That's what I'm saying.
• 39:14
  Let them come out of nowhere a little bit.
• 39:16
  It's okay. Just let it happen.
• 39:19
  I wouldn't bother you at all as a player not in the final
• 39:21
  stretch. No.
• 39:23
  Interesting. Because when you acknowledge
• 39:25
  that, it's the final stretch. You acknowledge like things are
• 39:30
  gonna get like things speed up, stuff goes, we're on the move,
• 39:35
  she has happened, and I don't really care about my peripheral
• 39:39
  view as much when you get to the final stretch, you know, like
• 39:43
  some what was the thing you care about?
• 39:45
  Is the end you want, you want to see what the ending is going to
• 39:48
  be. When it's in when the ending is
• 39:51
  in sight, when it's when you can grasp it.
• 39:54
  You're like this is we're gonna do it.
• 39:55
  We're going to end the thing. You just, you just don't care
• 39:58
  about the purview, it's not as important anymore.
• 40:01
  Hey, yeah. I don't know if I agree with
• 40:03
  that like, because for as your players maybe, I mean, I'm not
• 40:08
  really talking about players in this instance but like, no.
• 40:10
  I know. I'm just saying, I'd ask them.
• 40:12
  Yeah. If you know, I'm always the
• 40:14
  person where it's like, oh, you know, that this character went
• 40:17
  missing at the end of the, like second half are like the end of
• 40:21
  the, the second third of the move of the book and then he
• 40:25
  shows up after the final fight and he's like, oh yeah.
• 40:28
  You know, I was there. I got held up for a little bit.
• 40:30
  I'd be like, well, what the fuck were you doing?
• 40:33
  That's fine. Like that it like it genuinely
• 40:37
  irks me. So like Jen I mean I don't know
• 40:42
  why because it's here's the thing, right?
• 40:43
  Like it's okay to leave Gap, your request focused on the end
• 40:47
  goal that the world around the end goal crumbles under its own
• 40:51
  weight. That I don't think it's
• 40:52
  successful. I think it failed and say
• 40:54
  anything about real world crumbling under its own weight.
• 40:57
  See, you're you're you're you're thinking about it too.
• 41:01
  Like I mean, it's kind of hard. You're using some real extremely
• 41:05
  Language. Yeah, because you don't listen
• 41:06
  to me if I don't know. I mean, I think if you use a bit
• 41:09
  of like subtlety, it's fine like no because I've tried and you
• 41:13
  don't listen to me if I don't. So I'm being, I'm being
• 41:15
  hyperbolic here. Do you listen?
• 41:19
  You think that's going to change anything?
• 41:22
  I don't know, but you're paying attention.
• 41:24
  It's not, you're paying attention.
• 41:26
  You're responding plus also did you before plus.
• 41:29
  Also, it's more fun to listen to me.
• 41:30
  Yell, like a psycho on the other end.
• 41:32
  I fucking guess. What's the fun?
• 41:34
  If I'm talking boring. I think you you have this thing
• 41:39
  that because this is this is now we've now shifted Beyond
• 41:44
  tabletop and this is a problem. Isaiah has with a storytelling
• 41:48
  thing and you have this thing where you want your like all the
• 41:54
  Legos must must snap together, all the blocks must fall into
• 41:57
  place, you can't just leave an open.
• 41:59
  Get you can't you have to tell me what happened to you?
• 42:03
  It's okay for things to just not get answered like, he's okay for
• 42:06
  things to just be like, oh, that was weird.
• 42:07
  Anyway, it's fine, a lot of authors, do it on purpose in
• 42:11
  facts, you know, like, well, that's so yes, I know they do.
• 42:16
  But if it's done correctly, right?
• 42:17
  If you break the rules and you understand that you're breaking
• 42:20
  the rules, and you're going out of your way to set something up
• 42:24
  so that it doesn't feel shitty when the rule gets broken then.
• 42:27
  Yes, fine. But hey, I don't think I'm
• 42:30
  competent and yeah competent. To do that and even then I as a
• 42:38
  viewer, still get mad as I am not writing a novel, okay, you
• 42:43
  don't need to become, I know I'm not but I'm, I don't need to be
• 42:46
  competent. Just do it.
• 42:47
  Your players will live, Will Survive.
• 42:50
  They probably won't even notice. I don't know about all that most
• 42:54
  of the time players do not notice.
• 43:00
  Like if you know it's a what are the characters had like a
• 43:02
  missing father. Who's like, oh yeah.
• 43:04
  Sorry, I got lost in a storm once and I just never found it
• 43:07
  like see, but that's a dumb example.
• 43:11
  I'm not saying make it fucking stupid.
• 43:13
  You're given dumb examples. Well, you're because you're
• 43:16
  saying throw it all out? Like no, I didn't say throw it
• 43:20
  all out. I said don't think I don't like
• 43:22
  what I'm trying to say. I need to make it internally
• 43:24
  consistent. Like there has said, don't use
• 43:26
  in mind things happening. I didn't say throw things out.
• 43:28
  I just said, don't be precious about.
• 43:31
  Just if you need something to happen and you then it happens.
• 43:36
  And then when somebody asks why it happened figure it out later?
• 43:40
  I'm not saying I'm not saying ignore it, like oh suddenly
• 43:46
  there's Dragons. I'm not saying like ignore logic
• 43:50
  and just wiggity whoo-hoo or like oh my missing.
• 43:52
  Father just went to the store and forgot to come home.
• 43:54
  No, that's all I'm saying. What I'm saying is missing.
• 43:58
  Father is gone. You know let's see what's
• 43:59
  extrapolate your missing, father example.
• 44:02
  Missing. Father is gone for our long long
• 44:06
  as time. Missing, father comes back in
• 44:09
  the last ten sessions player goes.
• 44:12
  Where the fuck have you been father responses?
• 44:15
  Don't worry. I'll tell you later.
• 44:17
  We got a deal with this problem. Now, players deals with the
• 44:20
  problem. Five sessions later.
• 44:22
  Alright, we dealt with the problem.
• 44:23
  What the fuck happened? Missing?
• 44:24
  Father. Okay, let me explain now.
• 44:27
  And really, what what that actually is is you as the GM
• 44:30
  saying, I don't have it, Answer yet player.
• 44:32
  I'm gonna come up with an answer later, so like hold your damn
• 44:36
  horses just be aware that your dad's back now.
• 44:38
  That's all you need to know. That's what I'm saying.
• 44:41
  And I'm trusting, I am confident enough that you have enough
• 44:46
  brain cells. And enough big gig is brainpower
• 44:50
  to figure that kind of shit out. I'm not, like, I'm not when I
• 44:54
  say this, I'm not assuming that you're going to give dumb
• 44:56
  reasons like, oh, your dad just fucking showed up.
• 44:59
  I don't know, who cares? I'm not saying you're gonna do
• 45:01
  that. What I'm saying is you're going
• 45:02
  to be smart enough to be like, all right, Dad shows up, I will
• 45:05
  figure out why for some reason, later down the road or maybe I
• 45:08
  have a really good spur-of-the-moment idea and I
• 45:10
  throw that bitch out, but again, don't be precious.
• 45:13
  Just throw that bitch out. If you have it.
• 45:17
  Like I'm assuming you know how to do it I'm not assuming that
• 45:20
  you like I'm not assuming you're going to just like fuck up.
• 45:24
  Like yeah, obviously if you just start saying things happen for
• 45:27
  no goddamn reason, that's like that's a totally different
• 45:31
  thing. Unless it's intentionally for no
• 45:33
  goddamn reason in which case, You're kind of going for a
• 45:37
  different effect but that's a, that's a different realm of
• 45:42
  story. When things start to happen for
• 45:43
  no goddamn reason, we're not necessarily in that space.
• 45:45
  So you know, They're not, I but the big thing is, I'm trying to
• 45:50
  avoid it at all costs. Yes.
• 45:53
  A like don't stress. Just just do not stress.
• 45:56
  Just do. Like you're like I need to avoid
• 45:59
  problem, X and problem, be and problem.
• 46:01
  Why, and problem seeing you like, Just do like Dole, don't
• 46:06
  stress so much about. Like what if it doesn't make
• 46:10
  sense? All right, Mama maybe it doesn't
• 46:12
  it. Maybe some of it doesn't like
• 46:14
  maybe if you go through with a fine-tooth comb, it doesn't
• 46:16
  totally make sense. But like if players Dad shows up
• 46:20
  and he's like yeah I tried to come home and then got
• 46:23
  completely lost out there in the Wasteland and had no fucking way
• 46:27
  of like navigating my way back. That's a good enough
• 46:30
  explanation. You know, player players
• 46:33
  responsive probably be like, oh, okay.
• 46:35
  And like does that totally makes sense?
• 46:38
  Is there room? Where that could maybe not make
• 46:40
  sense maybe, but they're probably not going to think
• 46:42
  about it that hard. They'll probably accept that as
• 46:44
  a reasonable answer, you know, like, oh, in your GM notes.
• 46:49
  It said this guy's a super expert wilderness explorer.
• 46:53
  And then you say, how the fuck did he get lost?
• 46:55
  But the player just accept that answer and you go.
• 46:57
  Okay, well, whatever he got lost.
• 46:59
  Just, you know, like and being a wilderness explorer, maybe
• 47:03
  that's maybe that's not actually a thing, maybe I just ignore it.
• 47:05
  Like I wrote that down, but it didn't come up.
• 47:07
  So, it's not actually a thing because it hit the table just
• 47:10
  like that. Yeah, just like whatever works
• 47:15
  in the fly as we're rolling, you know?
• 47:18
  And you know and and that does mean particularly probably
• 47:22
  NPC's, they're just going to disappear, some of them.
• 47:24
  Like some of them are just going to drop off into the ether and
• 47:27
  that's because he just got to trim the fat.
• 47:30
  You know, there's Superfluous NPCs are always the thing.
• 47:34
  I've had a bazillion of them in our game right now, and I don't
• 47:36
  even think you guys have even noticed.
• 47:39
  I mean I noticed that like we don't talk to people anymore I
• 47:45
  do recognize like not everyone is me and has eight trillion
• 47:51
  NPCs. Well there's a bunch of NPCs
• 47:54
  that yeah that just happened like probably we're gonna be
• 47:58
  rough more relevant than they are currently and I've just let
• 48:00
  them fall in a way because I was like fuck it you know like I'm
• 48:05
  eyes on the prize don't like I'm sort of letting it Rock.
• 48:08
  As is. You know, like rock being a good
• 48:12
  example, right? Like, he's around and I had kind
• 48:16
  of ideas for him but then I was kind of like yeah whatever.
• 48:18
  Fuck it like. Let him fall to the Wayside to
• 48:22
  the original thing. I think that that's got me right
• 48:24
  now is one of the original things that I'm trying to figure
• 48:29
  out how to justify. Like retroactively is the bad
• 48:34
  guy when he like tortured, one of the characters friends like a
• 48:39
  very distinctly said like oh he was wearing a gas Mask.
• 48:43
  And I was, I meant to the to have the character, put the gas
• 48:47
  mask on before the fight started.
• 48:50
  Like that was the like the Borderlands style name pops up
• 48:53
  on the screen, you know and then I forgot to do it and now I'm
• 48:59
  trying to figure out how to make it so I players are like wait
• 49:04
  what the fuck was that other guy and I was like no way it was it
• 49:07
  was him but I just I fucked up I didn't Like that.
• 49:11
  That's an item that you could have because I wanted the
• 49:14
  players to take it as like a loot for killing him but now
• 49:18
  they don't even know that it exists and I'm just like shit,
• 49:22
  wait, what? You just said wait.
• 49:27
  So they never saw him. Put the gas mask on, they never
• 49:30
  saw it, they don't even know. He has it.
• 49:31
  They don't know that that was him.
• 49:34
  Who was him? The guy who tortured their
• 49:36
  friend was the same guy. They just killed because the
• 49:40
  linking thing was supposed to be the fucking gas masks that I
• 49:42
  forgot to have a butt. So, just have somebody like,
• 49:49
  tell you. Yeah, I know like or maybe it
• 49:54
  wasn't, maybe it wasn't him, right con.
• 49:57
  It was a different dude. Yes, I don't know.
• 50:02
  I just, I feel like it if the player is never a lot of
• 50:06
  villainous, wait, if it's not him.
• 50:09
  His henchmen. Like if the villains never saw
• 50:11
  the continuity between the two, such a date with situations if
• 50:14
  the player is never saw the continuity between the two
• 50:16
  situations and just break the continuity.
• 50:20
  Say never mind didn't happen, you know.
• 50:24
  Yeah I seriously I just I feel like it robs the villain of so
• 50:27
  much narrative. Wait, if the villain who was
• 50:31
  based around a plot twist. Doesn't get the plot twist, you
• 50:35
  know. Well, they already don't know, I
• 50:39
  know and they killed him how to fix it and it's in a way that
• 50:43
  isn't it? Just didn't happen.
• 50:46
  I mean, you can't really if you were going like a plot twist
• 50:49
  only works in the moment and if they already killed the
• 50:51
  character then like and if they already killed the character and
• 50:55
  moved on, then you just kind of is no real fixing it.
• 51:01
  If there's still room like to indicate in some way that it was
• 51:07
  him, then you could try and indicate a different way.
• 51:11
  But if they've already moved on, then they've moved on.
• 51:16
  They haven't yet the session ended with him dying.
• 51:21
  So I feel like there's still time for me to do it, right?
• 51:23
  I just I have 36 hours to figure it out, so something else on the
• 51:29
  body that indicates, it was him. Maybe he stole an heirloom from
• 51:38
  a friend NPC that he killed. Kept it on him.
• 51:42
  Took that man's Toes or some shit. you know, like just
• 51:48
  something else on the body or Wait, so wait.
• 51:55
  He was wearing the gas mask when he killed their friend or he
• 51:58
  wasn't. He was when he tortured the
• 52:01
  friend. Yeah.
• 52:02
  Okay so his body has the gas mask on him.
• 52:04
  Now Yeah, I know. That's the like I said, that's
• 52:08
  the easy answer, I'm trying. Yeah.
• 52:10
  So when they go to, does it feel good for when they go to look at
• 52:12
  the body. Feel like you recognize the gas
• 52:15
  mask hanging on his hip, they don't see it.
• 52:17
  They don't like, it was described like what was
• 52:22
  described, they don't, they never saw the mask.
• 52:24
  That that's the big Crux is they dated.
• 52:26
  They like they got a rough description of a gas mask with
• 52:30
  red lenses and like, yeah, they can find it but it just if they
• 52:36
  literally You know, I'm saying, if they literally walk up to his
• 52:38
  dead body on the floor and a gas mask with red lenses is hanging
• 52:41
  off his belt. There me, like, oh, Right.
• 52:46
  Yeah, like that's pretty especially with the red lens
• 52:50
  thing. Like that's pretty hard to miss,
• 52:52
  you know, that's not normal. So it's going to stick out looks
• 52:56
  like, oh, or when he, when he took the last bullet, like the
• 53:00
  gas mask fell to the floor. They find it in the dirt like oh
• 53:04
  shit. It's easy.
• 53:10
  No there's still there's lots of ways you could do that but like
• 53:13
  I totally Miss Thing. Yeah, I mean it seems like
• 53:19
  that's the direction it's going to have to go.
• 53:20
  I'm really annoyed about it. I don't know why it's not a big
• 53:23
  deal. Because I was really looking
• 53:25
  forward to it. Yeah, that was one of things.
• 53:28
  I was argued looking forward to the most, but we were because we
• 53:31
  are on a time crunch and two of the players like yeah, but the
• 53:36
  opportunity still there. You know, you're not you're not
• 53:40
  so far past, it won't hit the same.
• 53:43
  That's that's my problem. I want to say why won't it hit
• 53:45
  the same? Because the A plot to it.
• 53:49
  Like you have to have a plot twist at just the right time to
• 53:54
  give it. The maximum effect is the same
• 53:55
  thing with any real narrative beat, right?
• 53:57
  Right. Right.
• 53:57
  Yeah. I guess you're saying you're too
• 53:58
  late. It's not going to have the same
• 54:00
  weight. It would have been dramatic.
• 54:02
  If he put the mask on during the fight.
• 54:05
  Sure. But there's still a dramatic
• 54:08
  weight when they realize after they beat him who it was, you
• 54:12
  know, like there's still a dramatic weight there.
• 54:17
  It's just a slightly different moment to doing it before the
• 54:19
  fight started. Yeah, like sure if he had done
• 54:25
  it during the fight, they would have been potentially had more
• 54:28
  of a moment, an emotional reaction to the fight.
• 54:32
  But now that the fight is past. Now, they're going to have a
• 54:34
  motional reaction after the fight.
• 54:37
  That's all. You know, it's not like the
• 54:40
  opportunity is completely lost. It's just in a slightly
• 54:44
  different place. I know.
• 54:46
  I like I said, I know that it's not gone.
• 54:49
  I'm just bummed that it won't have the same weight.
• 54:52
  I think you're assuming it won't have the same way.
• 54:55
  Well, it won't because it can't like, oh no, that's his.
• 54:59
  Oh, you don't know how your players are going to react.
• 55:03
  I mean, you don't but you like all of the tension is gone now
• 55:10
  because it's like they've passed the finish line.
• 55:14
  Like that. Yeah, but they're still gonna
• 55:17
  have a reaction like they are, but it like, if you found out
• 55:22
  after, like, you know, if you found out after Return of the
• 55:27
  Jedi, like after the credits rolled and then George Lucas was
• 55:30
  like, oh yeah. By the way Darth Vader was
• 55:32
  Luke's father. You'd be like, what the fuck,
• 55:34
  why? Okay, like cool.
• 55:36
  I guess know when you find it out right before the big fight.
• 55:40
  You're like, oh shit. No, I think.
• 55:43
  I mean you'd have a A different reaction, but I still think it.
• 55:48
  You could still have an emotionally heavy scene where
• 55:51
  like, you know, someone I don't know.
• 55:54
  Let's say Leia, walks up to Luke and was after Return of the Jedi
• 55:59
  and like, haters dead. And Leia says, you know, oh,
• 56:02
  like, he was your father. And then Luke has this moment of
• 56:06
  reflecting, like, oh, I didn't know the whole time.
• 56:09
  All that bullshit, we went through and I didn't know it was
• 56:11
  my dad, you know, like it's just a different kind of Scene.
• 56:14
  It's not a lesser seen, you could very easily have the same
• 56:19
  kind of like, oh fuck. You know, there's there's no
• 56:22
  there's no and you're just, you're projecting your emotion,
• 56:26
  you're projecting how you would react onto it, but you don't
• 56:29
  know how your players are gonna react.
• 56:33
  They could have more of a reaction.
• 56:37
  You know, it could but they could get highly unlikely, they
• 56:40
  could get more excited. Like yeah.
• 56:42
  Oh, oh that dudes ass who we just beat was.
• 56:44
  Also the other dickhead from before get fucked nerds.
• 56:47
  Spit on his face kick him in the balls.
• 56:49
  Like you know they could get more hype about it when they
• 56:53
  find out like oh the dude we just beat is even more of a
• 56:55
  bitch than we thought. Yeah, eventually It's not like
• 57:01
  the idea that like, it cannot have any emotional impact,
• 57:03
  anymores. Totally, not true.
• 57:05
  I'm not saying it can't have any.
• 57:07
  It just won't have the same. Yeah, it'll be different.
• 57:09
  That doesn't mean lesser. I've got I feel like in this
• 57:13
  specific, instance, they're kind of hand-in-hand, but I feel like
• 57:15
  we're getting stuck on this point for too long.
• 57:18
  I mean, I've look, there are stories of this happening and it
• 57:22
  does not make them one method lesser than the other. you know,
• 57:28
  letter of shrug like It happens is a real.
• 57:32
  Think it's not like a I know it does it like it works me
• 57:36
  whenever it happens. I get see, but this is the
• 57:38
  problem. You keep projecting onto your
• 57:40
  players. Don't do that.
• 57:42
  I'm not like I wouldn't say that I'm projecting on them.
• 57:45
  I'm I'm trying to hold The work I do to his standard like the I
• 57:51
  would find acceptable. Yeah, your sensibilities but
• 57:54
  that doesn't mean everyone agrees.
• 57:56
  Like things things you find, satisfying does not mean.
• 58:01
  Everyone else will find satisfying and things you don't
• 58:03
  find satisfying. Other people can find
• 58:05
  satisfying. So stop.
• 58:06
  Stop projecting your assumptions on to how your players are going
• 58:10
  to react to things. Just do it.
• 58:13
  You know, if you think, it's a cool idea, go for it.
• 58:15
  This is literally all it is. Now I get that.
• 58:17
  You thought it would be cooler. Her to have it during the fight,
• 58:20
  which I understand and that's valid.
• 58:23
  And that, that part you have missed the boat on, but you're
• 58:27
  now you're now projecting me assumption.
• 58:30
  You're you you're restricting Yourself by assuming so it's not
• 58:35
  going to be as good now. Thank you.
• 58:37
  Are, you are, you're putting walls up on yourself.
• 58:43
  But you're doing that because you're thinking about how you
• 58:46
  would respond. That doesn't mean, however,
• 58:49
  players are going to respond. Oh, like you can't like a story
• 58:57
  story beats people, Willis pot respond to differently.
• 59:02
  In. Everything, you know, all all,
• 59:06
  all all for all right. All forms of mediums was trying
• 59:12
  to say You know, like to give it.
• 59:17
  This is kind of a weird example that just popped in my brain,
• 59:19
  but it kind of works, you know, some people spoilers for Jojo,
• 59:25
  part 3, I guess some people. Look at how oft all dies in JoJo
• 59:29
  part 3 in her like that's fucking lame.
• 59:32
  You didn't get to like my man's. I've doll.
• 59:34
  Didn't get do anything, cool. Some people could look at the
• 59:36
  exact same scene and go. Oh, Dio's a fucking act like
• 59:41
  badass like he took out I've like well wasn't deal, but you
• 59:44
  know what I mean? Vanilla Ice, I guess is a
• 59:46
  fucking bad-ass. Like he took out I'll do like,
• 59:49
  it was nothing. Like this is a scary
• 59:51
  motherfucker like that showed how evil this character was, you
• 59:54
  know? I mean, same seen, two different
• 59:56
  potential reactions. That's the kind of thing I'm
• 59:59
  talking about. Yes.
• 1:00:00
  And I think both of them can be true.
• 1:00:03
  Yeah, that's what I mean. so, with your scenario, you know,
• 1:00:09
  don't don't let your own assumptions like ruin the
• 1:00:12
  scenario. Yeah, basically what I'm saying?
• 1:00:25
  Let's take what was what else on the ship?
• 1:00:26
  I was like have I been like modeling over?
• 1:00:31
  Mud. Oh, I mean This kind of was
• 1:00:37
  going to lead into what I was going to talk about next.
• 1:00:39
  You know next time the clown Squad is actually here but I had
• 1:00:44
  my first player death. Sorry player character death.
• 1:00:48
  No no I shot the player at the table.
• 1:00:50
  Yeah. Right no yeah two sessions ago
• 1:00:53
  had a better character died and it was it was interesting to say
• 1:00:57
  the least the first time I've marked one of the fucking
• 1:01:00
  characters. Yeah I don't think you want to
• 1:01:02
  talk to me about this. he heard your opinion, but like, yeah,
• 1:01:08
  like I'm kind of a fucking animal just want to vocalize
• 1:01:11
  like Is so wild. Yeah, I don't know.
• 1:01:18
  I You know, I yeah, a lot of I mean people are on your side in
• 1:01:25
  the like it in that sense, people a lot of people agree
• 1:01:28
  that it's like, oh, it's such a crazy thing.
• 1:01:30
  Like first character death is fucking wild.
• 1:01:33
  I just I just doesn't, I don't know.
• 1:01:38
  I guess my reaction tends to be when a character dies is like I
• 1:01:42
  just look at that as like. Oh, that's just a big turning
• 1:01:45
  point in the narrative. Oh yeah, well I stopped being.
• 1:01:48
  It's a changeup of the status quo and that's interesting.
• 1:01:53
  Yeah. Well I mean the thing that
• 1:01:54
  really got me is that it is a major Point like a major turning
• 1:01:59
  point in the story is the character has been around for
• 1:02:01
  two and a half years later when I'm sorry three years in.
• 1:02:06
  Walk me a week, two weeks. Yeah so it was big for that
• 1:02:13
  reason. You know the character had some
• 1:02:17
  unresolved things like it wasn't like the oh my God.
• 1:02:20
  Like it was so sad for the players.
• 1:02:22
  Like yeah, I'm sure it was but like all of the stuff that it
• 1:02:27
  now like all of its ramifications.
• 1:02:28
  That's the thing that like really was important to me.
• 1:02:33
  Yeah, but like those are the best character deaths and
• 1:02:37
  stories is the unresolved character.
• 1:02:39
  No, nobody like if nobody cares when the character dies of old
• 1:02:45
  age, if they live their life, all fulfilled and got everything
• 1:02:47
  they wanted done, you know, like that's not a traumatic death.
• 1:02:52
  Now that's not to say you can't have that kind of character to
• 1:02:55
  this story but like that is not a dramatic character death when
• 1:02:58
  a character is done. That's why I like like The
• 1:03:02
  Obi-Wan thing, you know, is sort of a sad death scene because
• 1:03:06
  Obi-Wan dies and Luke is like, oh fuck, I don't know what to
• 1:03:09
  do. But Obi-Wan, the character is
• 1:03:11
  completely resolved. You don't feel bad for Obi-Wan,
• 1:03:14
  you feel bad for Luke, right? It's all like the unresolved.
• 1:03:20
  But if Obi-Wan was way younger and didn't get to do, didn't do
• 1:03:25
  all the shit he did in his life different kind of thing
• 1:03:28
  different context. So it's kind of like interesting
• 1:03:30
  and dramatic when inordinate character in.
• 1:03:32
  RPG goes out. And it's like, There's a lot of
• 1:03:35
  there's some unresolved shit going on.
• 1:03:38
  Yeah, well, I'm not arguing that it is, I don't know, it just
• 1:03:44
  sort of. It hit me in a way that I wasn't
• 1:03:45
  expecting. Like, I expected it to be like
• 1:03:48
  a, like really heavy narratively.
• 1:03:51
  And it was, it was awesome. And I just sort of had me
• 1:03:56
  thinking for a while after the fact, Yeah, that's a that I
• 1:03:59
  don't yet. Like you've never you never had
• 1:04:06
  me like you've never had that happen like it like a character
• 1:04:09
  ever died and like any medium and you were like, shit, you had
• 1:04:12
  to take a step back. Um, no, like again because I
• 1:04:21
  like a character death is like, ah, we're getting a big shift up
• 1:04:26
  particularly when you're talking about, right?
• 1:04:27
  You're talking about tabletop games.
• 1:04:29
  There are unfortunately by their nature character.
• 1:04:33
  A character can die out of kind of fucking nowhere and then
• 1:04:37
  things tend to feel a little like ah shit.
• 1:04:41
  Okay. Well, but when you're talking
• 1:04:45
  about like books and And, you know, books movies, Story video
• 1:04:47
  games, most of the time, when a character dies it's like, oh
• 1:04:53
  okay. So we're like changing things
• 1:04:54
  up. We're hitting the status quo in
• 1:04:56
  a different way. We're like making it impact,
• 1:04:59
  somebody's going to react differently like shit's going on
• 1:05:05
  assuming okay. Assuming good writing, obviously
• 1:05:08
  when you're talking about bad writing, sometimes character
• 1:05:10
  desk could feel really cheap and stupid obviously, but when
• 1:05:14
  they're not cheap and stupid You know, it's like I always just
• 1:05:18
  see it as like, a character shake up.
• 1:05:20
  Like, oh, fuck. This is gonna be like wild and
• 1:05:22
  interesting. I don't the whole idea of like
• 1:05:28
  going to think deeply about the ramifications of my soul like I
• 1:05:33
  don't get that heavy about it. I mean and a lot of that for me
• 1:05:37
  is like, I know these aren't real people actually died, you
• 1:05:42
  know right? Like I am I can detach myself
• 1:05:44
  from the situation and know that.
• 1:05:46
  No. One actually died comma.
• 1:05:48
  However, in those scenarios where an actor actor or
• 1:05:51
  something does actually die, then it gets a little weird.
• 1:05:54
  For example, the Aunt Polly situation and peaky blinders,
• 1:05:57
  that was a little heavy, yes, but that's different.
• 1:06:00
  That's because the character died because the actor did die,
• 1:06:04
  you know, like the actress actually died.
• 1:06:06
  You know, that's a little different but like, no, you
• 1:06:10
  know, death is death is This sounds bad but like, you know,
• 1:06:16
  death is a plot tool or Italy, right?
• 1:06:20
  So lets you sort of tally, observe it the way that I
• 1:06:24
  started thinking about it right is like You know, the characters
• 1:06:29
  are more than just like wolves to be used by the players,
• 1:06:33
  right? Like on some level, they are the
• 1:06:34
  players there a piece of the players.
• 1:06:36
  So when they die that piece, that, that, that player puts
• 1:06:42
  forth into the universe in that, in this moment, in this, this
• 1:06:45
  specific way is gone, you know? You kinda have to cut a piece of
• 1:06:49
  the way that you think off? Yes, I don't think about it that
• 1:06:52
  heavy. Fair enough.
• 1:06:55
  I mean, like it. it's like, You, you know, those idea, the idea
• 1:07:03
  is you had that conjured, the character up are still in your
• 1:07:06
  head. No, they are like, you have no
• 1:07:11
  Avenue to express them. At least not in the same way,
• 1:07:15
  but you can play them in another game.
• 1:07:17
  But like, they they won't be the same character because they
• 1:07:21
  won't have the same experience as they won't like.
• 1:07:24
  Say that they do, it will be a different version.
• 1:07:26
  Sure. Yeah.
• 1:07:27
  So that that, that literally this you know, this Are they
• 1:07:30
  like the? They talk about this and Kamen
• 1:07:35
  Rider, you know, when the Android character dies, yeah,
• 1:07:39
  they could be rebuilt but their memories didn't come with them
• 1:07:41
  so that iteration of them is still dead.
• 1:07:44
  Yeah. And there's something like
• 1:07:46
  incredibly heavy about that. I mean, I guess that's just sort
• 1:07:50
  of the interesting nature, fleeting nature of art.
• 1:07:53
  That makes it, you know, cool and valuable and interesting
• 1:07:55
  though. Yeah, of course it is like that
• 1:07:57
  but that's that's what makes it heavy, right?
• 1:07:59
  Like that's yeah, but I guess, I guess what I'm saying is So I
• 1:08:03
  focus on the the more interesting positive side of it,
• 1:08:06
  like I focus on like the part where it's like, ah, interesting
• 1:08:10
  sort of this is like a fleeting expression that has now left the
• 1:08:14
  world. It's time is up.
• 1:08:16
  I mean, I think they're both positive.
• 1:08:18
  I like, I don't think you should dwell on it in like, I kind of
• 1:08:22
  sound like you saying, you dwelled on it.
• 1:08:25
  Well, you like like do it to me dwelling on.
• 1:08:27
  It is like six months later the game is over.
• 1:08:30
  You're like damn what the fuck like that would be negative but
• 1:08:33
  having like a week after the fact to be like the process, I
• 1:08:37
  think that's that's fine. It's incredibly healthy.
• 1:08:40
  I guess. I don't know.
• 1:08:41
  At the end of the day, it is just a silly game that we roll
• 1:08:44
  dice and say funny voices at each other.
• 1:08:46
  So like I can't like it's so invested.
• 1:08:51
  Yeah. I mean, I get it.
• 1:08:52
  That's how it is for you but it's it could be way more.
• 1:08:55
  The people like depending on the game, it, that's how it is.
• 1:08:58
  For me, the very least. Well, what I mean is like,
• 1:09:01
  that's, that's what it literally is.
• 1:09:03
  No, I know that. Yes, if you break it down to its
• 1:09:05
  like, Bears components, yes, that is what it is.
• 1:09:07
  But like right, so what I'm saying is because of its barest
• 1:09:10
  components, I can never the barrier is always there like I'm
• 1:09:14
  never going to get that invested.
• 1:09:17
  You know, I got just, and I struggle with that because if
• 1:09:23
  you, if you, if you think that way, if you start breaking
• 1:09:25
  things down to their base components and a lot of things,
• 1:09:28
  just mean, a lot less, you know. Yeah.
• 1:09:32
  So it's kind of like, you know, if you want to get like real
• 1:09:36
  fucking black pilled about it, no, I don't think about that
• 1:09:40
  way, but I think the idea of like, a lot of things mean, a
• 1:09:42
  lot less. I mean.
• 1:09:43
  Yeah. Yeah. there's a, there's a, you
• 1:09:49
  know, there's a there's a portion of nihilism that I kind
• 1:09:55
  of, I'm like, yeah, I get it I'm not like 100% nihilistic but the
• 1:10:00
  idea of like Shit don't matter. Just do stuff.
• 1:10:04
  I'm like, yeah, you gotta get buy-in that what you sorta?
• 1:10:07
  I think because the debate thing with nihilism right is like
• 1:10:10
  nothing matters. So everything matters equally.
• 1:10:16
  Yeah, that's what I mean. Like, it don't matter.
• 1:10:23
  So like whatever fucking that's like it's a I don't know.
• 1:10:33
  I just, I'm just, I'm just not like, I just cannot get Because
• 1:10:38
  it's a game where we all sit down at a table and likes a
• 1:10:42
  funny voices at each other and roll dice and it's just a thing
• 1:10:45
  you do for fun. It's impossible for me to like
• 1:10:50
  go that much deeper on the emotional investment.
• 1:10:53
  Like I just can't it's I'm never going to get as a vested as like
• 1:10:56
  a movie or a book, you know. Those are like those are
• 1:11:01
  different, you know, a movie or a book is like There's there's
• 1:11:07
  some sort of more steaks, there's more people.
• 1:11:10
  There's more moving Parts. There's there's money and time
• 1:11:12
  investment although tabletop does have the time investment
• 1:11:15
  for sure. I suppose you him.
• 1:11:16
  It also could have a very serious money investment.
• 1:11:19
  Yes, but the money investment is very optional, right?
• 1:11:22
  Like to a degree. What I mean is like when you're
• 1:11:25
  dealing with a book and an author that authors entire
• 1:11:28
  livelihood is based on you buying their product, right?
• 1:11:32
  That is, or that is different. Your livelihood is not based on
• 1:11:36
  you having a good tabletop session, you know what I mean?
• 1:11:38
  No, but I think you're sort of, you're registering two different
• 1:11:41
  goalposts. One is a hyper macro, where's
• 1:11:44
  one is a hyper micro like I get 0?
• 1:11:54
  because if you think alike, especially we think about
• 1:11:56
  something like the money investment, right?
• 1:11:58
  Like that author is a business person.
• 1:12:02
  They are. They're doing this for business,
• 1:12:03
  that's a very macro thing. There's a lot of moving Parts in
• 1:12:06
  the money-making aspect of that book.
• 1:12:08
  Yes, whereas playing games around a table is a very micro
• 1:12:12
  us. So I don't think you can really
• 1:12:13
  hold them to the same standard, you know what I mean?
• 1:12:15
  No, but what I'm saying is my limit, there is a limit on my
• 1:12:20
  investment because the book thing has more moving, you know,
• 1:12:25
  a book has more I'm moving Parts than a like tabletop campaign
• 1:12:28
  session between friends does. That's that's that's part of the
• 1:12:31
  limiter. That's what I'm that's I'm
• 1:12:32
  saying that is the limiter. No no I got to say I'm trying.
• 1:12:35
  Well I'm glad I'm sure trying to eke out it.
• 1:12:37
  It or trying to understand I guess is the the intimacy of it
• 1:12:40
  doesn't make it like a doesn't sort of Kick It Up and least one
• 1:12:44
  notch it does but not In the game itself.
• 1:12:54
  Where where it gets kicked up, is the sort of afterward.
• 1:12:59
  Like, I'm not gonna cry that my character and my D&D campaign
• 1:13:06
  died. There's just no fucking like
• 1:13:09
  it's never gonna happen. But well I have a sort of like
• 1:13:14
  could have potentially thought-provoking thing.
• 1:13:18
  Come out of that scenario from the game and then we all sit
• 1:13:21
  down and get dinner later and then we have like a weirdly
• 1:13:24
  heavy conversation that's springboarded off of what
• 1:13:27
  happened in the campaign. Yes, that I understand.
• 1:13:34
  But that, that the that's coming from the intimacy of just, like,
• 1:13:38
  doing a thing with five people for several hours that involves
• 1:13:43
  a lot of brain juice and all of you slamming your brain juice
• 1:13:46
  together. So, stuff happens out of it.
• 1:13:49
  But the, you know, the game itself is just funny words.
• 1:13:53
  We say in each other, you know, this their sort of their sort of
• 1:13:56
  a, there's like a striation of Separation there for me.
• 1:14:01
  Enough. So it's like it's not that I
• 1:14:03
  don't care about it like a campaign or anything, but I'm
• 1:14:07
  not going to you know? Like I'm not gonna sit there and
• 1:14:10
  be like my character died. You never got to talk to his
• 1:14:13
  brother. I just am I gonna sleep tonight
• 1:14:17
  but I might say be like, wow, character died.
• 1:14:20
  I never got to talk to his brother wonder what kind of
• 1:14:22
  weird implications that would have on a person.
• 1:14:25
  Like, what if that happened in real life?
• 1:14:27
  And like, X y&z scenario and your brother went out and fought
• 1:14:29
  a dragon and then fuck. It died and like what is the
• 1:14:32
  weird social applications it, you know, like I'll think about
• 1:14:34
  it that way but that's me sort of then extrapolating into
• 1:14:37
  real-life, right? Like that's a it's a it's like a
• 1:14:42
  tool I guess. There's no way you can put it
• 1:14:46
  but I also kind of treat all I think.
• 1:14:50
  I kind of treat a lot of books and stories and shit like that.
• 1:14:55
  Like I don't think that's a unique to tabletop thing.
• 1:14:57
  For me, it's just the the delivery method of tabletop is
• 1:15:01
  different obviously. When you like, when you read
• 1:15:08
  something, do you, do you put yourself in the place of that
• 1:15:12
  character while reading it or do you sort of see it as like a
• 1:15:14
  third party? Observer know?
• 1:15:17
  I'm always casting Clairvoyance watching.
• 1:15:20
  I never ever ever in certain things a lot.
• 1:15:23
  Yeah, no. I don't insert myself into
• 1:15:24
  stories ever. In fact, I'll I love it when a
• 1:15:28
  story is about a character that is really, really distant from
• 1:15:31
  me because then there's like no way like If the main character
• 1:15:37
  of something is like a black female lesbian, I'm like, oh,
• 1:15:42
  great. So if I like this character, I'm
• 1:15:44
  gonna get really invested in her, and I'm not going to try
• 1:15:46
  and put my own brain into it. And, I mean, you don't just do
• 1:15:50
  that sort of naturally. Like, for me, like, it's kind
• 1:15:52
  of, no matter what the, the instance is you, like, I always
• 1:15:56
  end up thinking about how I would handle a situation, or how
• 1:15:59
  it would affect me in some way like, no, just finish reading
• 1:16:02
  one of the, like, the 40K Space Marine books.
• 1:16:06
  And like the character like the main character is so old and
• 1:16:10
  he's so depressed. Right?
• 1:16:12
  Like by, you know, he's 1,500 years old is Dante from the
• 1:16:17
  blood angels, he's so ugly, like, space friends were not
• 1:16:20
  built to live that old right. Like they sort of, you know,
• 1:16:25
  most of them don't make it past 500.
• 1:16:27
  So the fact that he's three times older than them And he's
• 1:16:31
  like falling apart at the seams and he just wants to die, but he
• 1:16:34
  can't, because he's got shit. He needs to do like, you know,
• 1:16:38
  that sort of had me thinking about what I would do when I got
• 1:16:41
  fucking old because, you know, getting old is really my only
• 1:16:46
  real fear. So it's something.
• 1:16:49
  I think it's a thing that affects everyone equally.
• 1:16:52
  So then you go like, well, how would that affect me?
• 1:16:54
  Like, getting old and realizing I still had shit I needed to do
• 1:16:57
  before I went out. you know, I don't I don't know, I don't
• 1:17:06
  think about like what would I do in that scenario?
• 1:17:10
  Maybe sometimes but very, very rarely if ever it's much more of
• 1:17:15
  like a, it's much more actually in a lot of ways when I'm
• 1:17:18
  looking at it. I see it as like a oh, this is
• 1:17:21
  how the author thought about it. This is how another, you know,
• 1:17:26
  like when you're reading a book it's like, oh this is how a
• 1:17:28
  different, another human being who I do not know through the
• 1:17:31
  story, they're telling me. They're also sort of Telling me
• 1:17:34
  how they think about it. At least in some capacity, I'll
• 1:17:38
  think about that. But I don't like insert myself
• 1:17:40
  into the story because I don't know.
• 1:17:43
  I don't, I don't, I don't feel a compulsion to hide it for me.
• 1:17:48
  It's a bit of both like this. I always want to know how the
• 1:17:52
  like what the author was thinking when they wrote a
• 1:17:54
  thing. But I, you know, just by nature
• 1:17:56
  of you consuming something. And as you think about it, you
• 1:17:58
  come up with your own opinions about it.
• 1:18:00
  So then you sort of cross-reference, well, what were
• 1:18:02
  they thinking about? What was I thinking about?
• 1:18:04
  How were they like envisioning handling of situation?
• 1:18:07
  And how does it shift from the way I would think about it, you
• 1:18:09
  know, you know, I think I think about it more.
• 1:18:12
  I think I used Is it more as like a like a?
• 1:18:17
  Tutorial like re. Oh yeah, like so.
• 1:18:22
  Okay. So this character and 40K is
• 1:18:24
  like how he's dealing with the fact that he's fuckin ancient
• 1:18:28
  old. And then by the end of the book,
• 1:18:30
  presumably you get some sort of resolution to how he's how he
• 1:18:34
  dealt with it or how he, you know what he what you get some
• 1:18:37
  sort of resolution on what he decides to do or whatever.
• 1:18:40
  Right. I just look at that and go.
• 1:18:43
  Oh, so that's sort of a tutorial lesson.
• 1:18:45
  That's one potential way. A, you could deal with it when
• 1:18:48
  you get to this point. You know like slap that in the
• 1:18:51
  old memory bags that's one option.
• 1:18:54
  I mean it's like it's a lesson to learn and visualize and be
• 1:18:59
  like oh okay interesting. But it's it's like I don't need
• 1:19:06
  to insert myself into the scenario in the moment so much
• 1:19:11
  as I can just sort of absorb the information and be like, this is
• 1:19:13
  how one put. This is how one human being
• 1:19:16
  thought about it. In one particular way through
• 1:19:19
  this medium, Or life. I don't know.
• 1:19:25
  I guess it's such a foreign concept that to not like, Deeply
• 1:19:33
  engage with something on a personal level or you know,
• 1:19:36
  maybe I'm gonna be able to drive it but like engaged.
• 1:19:38
  Yeah, I mean, personal level, I guess I'm genuinely struggling,
• 1:19:42
  I can't even Envision it while you're thinking, ìwell, Ho, Ho,
• 1:19:45
  Ho Holy making me sound like a fucking sociopath over here and
• 1:19:49
  it's not that I don't emotionally engaged things.
• 1:19:52
  It's not that right guy will have emotions over things, but I
• 1:19:57
  can I can also detach myself and also be aware like that shit
• 1:20:02
  ain't real and so I don't like you know, I don't not that's why
• 1:20:11
  I can play my D&D character like a burning boat because I'm not
• 1:20:15
  inserting myself. I'm not like I am my D&D
• 1:20:18
  character. I'm looking at my D&D character
• 1:20:20
  and being like, you're a little Gremlin I'm controlling and
• 1:20:24
  you're teaching me lessons via what happens to you.
• 1:20:26
  You, you know, like that. That's why I don't, that's why,
• 1:20:31
  if they die. I'm like, ah, you know, I'm like
• 1:20:34
  a really a macro level, it's like, oh, your character died
• 1:20:37
  for walking into the room and then stepping on a trap and
• 1:20:39
  exploding at which point I go ah, the lesson I learned from
• 1:20:42
  this particular Gremlin, always check for traps.
• 1:20:45
  Yeah, right. Like that's it.
• 1:20:47
  That's on a very micro level but like, that's kind of what I
• 1:20:49
  mean. It's like I'm sort of observing
• 1:20:51
  and taking in like, less is the stuff and But I'll have
• 1:20:55
  emotional, you know, like, I'll be like that was sad, but I'm
• 1:21:00
  not internalizing it as like now I'm sad necessarily, you know
• 1:21:04
  what I mean? I will I can they recognize a
• 1:21:08
  thing is sad but I can also recognize.
• 1:21:11
  I'm not sad. I just saw anything that was
• 1:21:13
  said you know Greg give or take you know, obviously if you're
• 1:21:19
  like watching a show or something and some heavy shit
• 1:21:21
  happens sometimes, you'll turn it off and be like, Boo.
• 1:21:24
  All right, hold on, we're gonna sit here for a second, you know,
• 1:21:27
  like I'll do that, but I'm not gonna then walk around for the
• 1:21:30
  rest of the day like sad, you know?
• 1:21:35
  There or, you know, or maybe I'll have like an expression on
• 1:21:38
  my face and I'll be like, what's wrong with me?
• 1:21:39
  Like I just watched this one show.
• 1:21:41
  Check out really heavy now. I'm like what brains?
• 1:21:43
  And like a tizzy. Yeah, it's not I don't I don't
• 1:21:50
  let its way by emotions in the moment in the moment when it's
• 1:21:54
  happening is different, right? In the moment you do let it sway
• 1:21:57
  your emotions but that's because you're choosing to let it sway.
• 1:22:00
  Or, you know, at least for me, I'm sort of choosing to let
• 1:22:03
  something sway my motions in the moment because that's the point
• 1:22:08
  of watching a show or reading a book or playing a video game,
• 1:22:10
  right? Is to let to let it fuck with
• 1:22:12
  you emotionally. But then afterward when you step
• 1:22:15
  away, you have your beauty, you know.
• 1:22:18
  Me, I think it's good to my brain to be like, all right.
• 1:22:21
  Well anyway, that wasn't real. You know, it's like the thing
• 1:22:25
  when you get, you know, what it is.
• 1:22:26
  It's like the thing where you're playing fucking League of
• 1:22:28
  Legends or some shit, right? And you get really fucking salty
• 1:22:32
  in the moment, all right? And then you get up and go get
• 1:22:36
  water and like, you know, you Mom or something, says some shit
• 1:22:41
  to you. And then you're like a little
• 1:22:43
  salty at her. And you're like, wait, pause
• 1:22:45
  video game. Not real league league matches
• 1:22:48
  over? I'm not actually mad.
• 1:22:50
  Why am I? I'm not, I'm being, I'm being
• 1:22:51
  snippy for no reason. Turn it off.
• 1:22:53
  You know, I mean, it's That kind of thing.
• 1:22:56
  It's some people can't you know, some people have a hard time
• 1:23:00
  doing that. I don't want to say it's like
• 1:23:02
  unhealthy, but I do think it sometimes gets into like, I
• 1:23:06
  don't know, bad spot. I don't know, like I, I've been
• 1:23:12
  playing Souls game. Since Demon Souls II very, very
• 1:23:14
  quickly dropped my own. I lost any ability to find rage
• 1:23:19
  while playing a game. That's a really different
• 1:23:22
  example, though. Not know.
• 1:23:23
  I know your Latching onto the specifics too much.
• 1:23:25
  I know, I'm being a shit. I doing it on purpose, we had?
• 1:23:30
  No, I will. I that's the tabletop game for
• 1:23:34
  me like character dies sad in the moment session is over back
• 1:23:41
  to normal brain. You know, like that is, that is
• 1:23:44
  how it works for me. And then internalized, you know,
• 1:23:48
  take what I was feeling in the moment and think about it and be
• 1:23:51
  like ha that was interesting, but don't actually let it make
• 1:23:54
  me sad, because no one in real life actually died.
• 1:23:58
  Nothing actually happened. Just plastic dice hit table.
• 1:24:01
  'S right. That's right.
• 1:24:04
  Yeah. I mean I think they're like
• 1:24:07
  should it lets you like you know Sam i didn t care turd.
• 1:24:09
  I'm not going to work today. No, absolutely not.
• 1:24:12
  But I think there is a level of like, healthiness for, you know,
• 1:24:18
  you're like your character died, you're upset about it.
• 1:24:22
  You know, your sort of processing it in a sort of
• 1:24:26
  introspective, sort of, it might shift the way that you think
• 1:24:29
  about things for a few days. Yes, that's the thing and I'll
• 1:24:33
  do. I'll do that in the moment.
• 1:24:35
  Well, it's all happening. Then the afterward is not the
• 1:24:39
  same deal. You know, like they're there,
• 1:24:43
  they're two distinct things for me as interesting.
• 1:24:52
  I don't know. I think you could get a little
• 1:24:54
  like it could get a little date and be dangerous, is an extreme
• 1:24:58
  word but whatever. We're on the internet we could
• 1:24:59
  say extreme things fuck it you know, I guess alone is a little
• 1:25:03
  dangerous if you let that kind of stuffs way you too much, once
• 1:25:08
  you get up and walk, you know. You watch a TV I like are you
• 1:25:13
  here? D&D character dies, then you go
• 1:25:15
  to work the next day and you're just like fucking sad at work
• 1:25:18
  all goddamn day. That's, you know, you can't
• 1:25:23
  function like that. You know what I mean?
• 1:25:26
  No, you can't. In like, I'm not saying it
• 1:25:28
  should affect you to that degree because I think that is II.
• 1:25:32
  Yes, that is dangerous, right? If you're so easily affected by
• 1:25:35
  things like that, that's dangerous.
• 1:25:37
  I'll give you that for sure, but you sort of calm part, you like
• 1:25:41
  compartmentalize. Things, right?
• 1:25:42
  Like if you well, that's what. Yeah, that's why I said, I
• 1:25:45
  carpark vitalize them as lessons their tutorials.
• 1:25:50
  Yeah, yeah. Like, I'm not just doing them
• 1:25:52
  but for some like, for me, example, when when tie-dyed, you
• 1:25:57
  know, the rest of that night, like I started, like I didn't
• 1:26:00
  lose any sleep over it, but I definitely thought about it till
• 1:26:02
  I went to bed. And the next day, while I was
• 1:26:05
  working I was sort of like Working through the nuances of
• 1:26:10
  it in my mind, right? Like you're working, you're
• 1:26:12
  telling jokes you're talking to your co-workers, but in your
• 1:26:14
  head, you're sort of you're playing this, your sort of
• 1:26:19
  scrubbing through the footage and then going like, what
• 1:26:23
  happened? Like what, how could things have
• 1:26:24
  changed? If they someone had done this?
• 1:26:27
  Or if I had done this and then you go.
• 1:26:28
  Oh, that's really dramatic. And interesting.
• 1:26:30
  I really like that or that's kind of sad.
• 1:26:31
  Hold on, let me let me hold on to that.
• 1:26:33
  Maybe if I can use that another way, like You're sort of a using
• 1:26:37
  your emotions to do the scrubbing for you right?
• 1:26:41
  Like you play. It's unit is your sort of
• 1:26:44
  plucking at your heartstrings to see what resonates if that you
• 1:26:48
  know flowery language aside I mean, it sounds like you're not
• 1:26:52
  doing anything that different from what I'm doing extra lies.
• 1:26:55
  I get to No, I think at the end we're not doing much
• 1:26:59
  differently. I think you just do it, like,
• 1:27:01
  you process, it far quicker than I do, or then most people do
• 1:27:03
  have it say, well, I don't even know if its speed thing, but I
• 1:27:08
  think I'm very analytical about I mean, I am too.
• 1:27:12
  I just like I'm kind of maybe a little roboticle about it in a
• 1:27:17
  sense potentially ish, you know? Like you know, it's like when
• 1:27:23
  people ask me like, oh, you don't cry.
• 1:27:24
  It shows or movies or stuff and I'm like, no, I really don't.
• 1:27:28
  And I don't think I ever have, you know, like, the only one I
• 1:27:33
  can ever think of, when people bring that up, as I almost
• 1:27:37
  almost cried a little bit, watching the end of which The
• 1:27:41
  anime was really has. I was like, please don't say
• 1:27:45
  Titanic, please don't say Titanic, please don't say
• 1:27:47
  Titanic. I've never watched eidetic, the
• 1:27:50
  comedy hits one of the funniest movies on the fucking planet.
• 1:27:53
  I mean, fair enough. Yeah.
• 1:27:56
  Like that's the only example I could even think of where I like
• 1:27:58
  almost crying, right on clip that fade.
• 1:28:01
  Yeah, it don't look that right. Don't fucking God, I will find
• 1:28:07
  you in Long Island, funk you up, you know, but also like Like
• 1:28:12
  what also why you booing me? I'm right.
• 1:28:14
  If boom me. I'm right, you know?
• 1:28:16
  I also though I may be I don't want to say it.
• 1:28:20
  I mean into your own eyes, the internet's a shit.
• 1:28:24
  I yeah, I just like you got it. You gotta hold to your standards
• 1:28:28
  Bud. All right.
• 1:28:30
  Look, anyone is listening. Don't judge me on this
• 1:28:32
  statement. Hmm, I'm also the kind of person
• 1:28:36
  who doesn't cry a lot when people if at all when people die
• 1:28:40
  in real life, So, you know, I mean do with that.
• 1:28:45
  Like when my grandmother died, I died.
• 1:28:48
  I did not cry at the funeral and I was like one of the only ones
• 1:28:53
  amongst my cousin's at the very least.
• 1:28:55
  So you know, and it's not like a situation where I like wasn't
• 1:28:59
  close to her, right? So, You know, I did the
• 1:29:05
  processing Works a weird way for me, I don't know.
• 1:29:09
  You know what I'm saying? Yeah, I mean, like, I'm have you
• 1:29:12
  lost a lot of members? I don't know how does one equate
• 1:29:18
  a lot? I mean, sort of by person by
• 1:29:23
  person, have you lost more than four in the last five years?
• 1:29:27
  Yeah, fair enough. So that that's more of a
• 1:29:30
  desensitization anything else. No.
• 1:29:35
  I don't know if I'd call it a desensitizing.
• 1:29:39
  Because it sort of has to like you know, the anything about it.
• 1:29:42
  Like scientifically, the human brain can only deal with things
• 1:29:46
  to such a degree. Well, I've just goes Fucking,
• 1:29:48
  I'm not dealing with it anymore. Sure.
• 1:29:49
  But I've always been this way. It's never been.
• 1:29:53
  I've never broken down or anything, you know.
• 1:29:58
  No, like even when you know, you know, even when my like I had a
• 1:30:04
  cousin who died when he was like 13, you know, which is like a
• 1:30:09
  heavy one. Didn't cry there either.
• 1:30:14
  But I also have a momentum from him on me every single day.
• 1:30:20
  So like, you know, is that the dragon necklace?
• 1:30:24
  You were? No, it's the coin.
• 1:30:28
  My big one dollar. Coin, o is having my pocket.
• 1:30:31
  I've never known that you fucking had that.
• 1:30:33
  I don't think you've ever brought that up.
• 1:30:34
  Now, you've definitely seen it before and it probably just
• 1:30:37
  didn't even register. Yeah, I mean, I may have said,
• 1:30:39
  ma'am. Just been like, oh, why do you
• 1:30:40
  have that? But like, I've nothing ever
• 1:30:42
  asked. Yeah.
• 1:30:44
  I mean, I can fucking that, that knife I always have.
• 1:30:47
  I mean, that's my cousin's, he passed away.
• 1:30:48
  So I got it, right? Yeah.
• 1:30:49
  So like, you know, it's a yeah. So like I'm kind of like the
• 1:30:54
  amount the like the emotional swaying from things.
• 1:30:57
  I'm kind of weird about don't know enough.
• 1:31:02
  Also is particularly if I'm like in a crowd, not a crap, but just
• 1:31:06
  like a group of people if whoo-ha.
• 1:31:09
  Hmm. Yeah, that's probably also, part
• 1:31:13
  of the reason. I don't let it hit me as hard,
• 1:31:14
  wood tabletop is because when I'm with a group I don't it gets
• 1:31:18
  uncomfortable for me if things get real heavy.
• 1:31:21
  And I'm kind of like, okay I'm gonna reel it back because
• 1:31:25
  everyone else is Going way out there, have you heard like just
• 1:31:30
  tried going with the flow of it just like letting it out and see
• 1:31:32
  what happens? Yeah, I does.
• 1:31:34
  It doesn't, it doesn't, I can't. I like, I don't want can't
• 1:31:38
  sounds like but like I can't, you know, it does.
• 1:31:41
  I it just doesn't, I don't know, bi.
• 1:31:43
  I mean, I'm sort of poking. Yeah, you get a little workout.
• 1:31:48
  A little weird. And I don't we want to keep
• 1:31:49
  going down this path. This is literally stream of
• 1:31:52
  Consciousness, right? Hey, ya, ya that were really is
• 1:31:57
  because it's interesting, right? Like I'm always someone who says
• 1:32:01
  and I stand pretty firm by this is that like anyone is capable
• 1:32:05
  of anything. It just requires the right
• 1:32:07
  application of force. I mean sure.
• 1:32:09
  Yeah it's I just don't like it. I don't know.
• 1:32:15
  It's not just not the way I deal.
• 1:32:19
  I don't know. I did.
• 1:32:19
  This sounds like a, like, just embrace the chaos.
• 1:32:22
  Just just push it as far as it'll go and see what happens.
• 1:32:28
  I mean like a hat like I have gotten uncomfortable as that,
• 1:32:31
  they like, it's not much farther you have to like it's not even
• 1:32:35
  further Beyond and then you need to scream for 54 seconds and
• 1:32:39
  pass out halfway through it. Let's put it this way.
• 1:32:43
  Everyone, you know, particularly, this is
• 1:32:45
  particularly true grief, but this is a true of all extreme
• 1:32:48
  emotions, you know, everyone reacts in whatever way you react
• 1:32:52
  and I am not putting any kind of judgment call on how people
• 1:32:56
  react know. It sounds like.
• 1:32:58
  And so the way I react I've just kind of learned been like,
• 1:33:02
  alright, I guess this is just kind of how I react, you know,
• 1:33:05
  conversely on the other side. If I'm if something is Like
• 1:33:12
  bunny or like entertaining to an extreme degree.
• 1:33:16
  I do the opposite where I start like I go over the top in an
• 1:33:22
  attempt to bring everyone else to my level you know what I
• 1:33:25
  mean. It's on on the opposite end that
• 1:33:28
  you know, like wouldn't like I mean you've been around me
• 1:33:32
  enough. You know what I mean?
• 1:33:33
  Think I would say like I get really like extreme and start
• 1:33:37
  bringing other people in and if somebody's being quiet I don't
• 1:33:40
  let them like if someone's trying to hide in the corner I
• 1:33:43
  like don't let them. You know what I mean?
• 1:33:45
  Hmm which I'm sure some people get mad at me about that.
• 1:33:48
  I'm probably yeah whatever that's also probably why I'm
• 1:33:51
  good at jamming though, right? Like because I pointed the one
• 1:33:54
  time like hey put that fucking phone.
• 1:33:56
  Down. You son of a bitch were fighting
• 1:33:58
  monsters now. Okay.
• 1:34:01
  All right. This year, I will bring it back.
• 1:34:03
  We'll bring it back with with this statement.
• 1:34:05
  Yeah, i-i'll I laugh. This is not really a call out to
• 1:34:11
  the people who listen because I do this.
• 1:34:13
  I understand It happens a lot like you've seen me, right?
• 1:34:18
  Like, we've been in sessions where I'm like, I don't know,
• 1:34:22
  like playing Soulcalibur 6, just sort of passively because I need
• 1:34:25
  to keep my brain for moving at a thousand miles, an hour.
• 1:34:29
  And yes, I don't think this is a good habit for you to
• 1:34:31
  perpetuate. But yeah, I mean like I can't on
• 1:34:34
  some luck, I can help it but I well with the application of
• 1:34:39
  that, I heard one time with the application of enough for no
• 1:34:42
  yeah, yeah I know like I The thing that keeps me like because
• 1:34:47
  I've tried it a lot. I do.
• 1:34:48
  Apparently just haven't found actually, that's not true.
• 1:34:50
  The right application of force is a live session.
• 1:34:53
  That is it nice? I mean absolutely yeah, I think
• 1:34:55
  that's true for love. I have found it if I'm lot, if
• 1:34:58
  I'm live with people at the table I'm like 112 percent zoned
• 1:35:02
  in. I can remember the whole session
• 1:35:04
  bit like today, but to clarify, what Isaiah is saying is in
• 1:35:09
  person. Yeah.
• 1:35:10
  As opposed to over the Internet. Yeah.
• 1:35:12
  To this day, I like some of the Sessions, I had in car Dells
• 1:35:17
  original game like very specifically when I was in the
• 1:35:20
  room with Cardell and Brett, I could probably tell you right
• 1:35:24
  now, it's gonna take 20 minutes, but I can tell you like how this
• 1:35:27
  session started basically, what we talked about, like, maybe
• 1:35:31
  some of the roles we had to make and like the big stuff that
• 1:35:33
  happened like to this bin. That game ended in 2018.
• 1:35:39
  Yeah. So, you know, I can fucking but
• 1:35:45
  if it's over the computer because like I have the internet
• 1:35:48
  and like, I my phone and all my swords are around me and like,
• 1:35:53
  you know, I've got well, six model kits that I'm sort of
• 1:35:55
  started, but haven't, like really done much on my brains
• 1:35:58
  like what you can do this and this and that like you're
• 1:35:59
  wasting time, if you're not doing more than one thing at
• 1:36:01
  once, I remember me and my fault.
• 1:36:03
  Yeah. I mean I think a lot of people
• 1:36:06
  have identified Defied, this issue with with an over the
• 1:36:08
  internet game is is a lack of tactile on this makes it harder
• 1:36:16
  to stick in there because tabletop games have very little,
• 1:36:21
  if not, no visual component by default, right?
• 1:36:24
  So a lot of people have identified this frustration and
• 1:36:28
  that's why a lot of people when you bust out the dungeon map
• 1:36:32
  with the dynamic lighting and the cool particle effects and
• 1:36:35
  like the anime. Tokens all the sudden,
• 1:36:38
  everybody's like oh shiny right? Like and when you're doing the
• 1:36:42
  sessions with the dungeon map and the dynamic Lighting in the
• 1:36:45
  cool new effects and see how people will engage with that
• 1:36:49
  more and remember that more because now there's like there's
• 1:36:52
  something more tactile to latch onto the tactile miss when
• 1:36:56
  you're an in-person session is the other people physically
• 1:37:00
  around you, the physical items on the table being moved.
• 1:37:04
  The pencils, clickety clack in the dice noises.
• 1:37:06
  Right. So like there's more tactile -
• 1:37:08
  you know, that's, that's why, you know, they have like a sound
• 1:37:13
  effect when you roll dice, you know, digitally right?
• 1:37:15
  Like, that's why they always have like a clicky, click noise
• 1:37:18
  or something like that or roll20 has the bloom because it's
• 1:37:22
  trying to keep as much of that tactile in this, as you can.
• 1:37:25
  So yeah, it's totally understandable.
• 1:37:27
  I mean, shit, roll20 even has a thing.
• 1:37:29
  A lot of people probably don't know this world.
• 1:37:32
  Tony has a thing where you can roll the dice like as if You are
• 1:37:36
  physically rolling dice, you can left, click and drag to actually
• 1:37:40
  throw the dice across the screen and part of the reason that
• 1:37:44
  that's there is to give you like an interactive tactile thing.
• 1:37:48
  You know what I mean? Like a kind of video gaming
• 1:37:50
  thing. So yeah, honestly i-i've tried
• 1:37:55
  it, it chunks, whatever browser using.
• 1:37:59
  Yeah. So that's the problem so much.
• 1:38:01
  Yeah, it's cool. It doesn't work very well.
• 1:38:03
  And the other problem is when you turn on 3D dice, they're
• 1:38:07
  cool. But what you realize is, they
• 1:38:10
  slow down the speed at, which they slow down the chat.
• 1:38:15
  You know, the number that actually goes in chat actually
• 1:38:18
  slow the responsiveness of that down to.
• 1:38:20
  Yeah. Yeah.
• 1:38:21
  So yeah, they don't work great unfortunately.
• 1:38:25
  So you know there's that annoying thing until the
• 1:38:28
  original. Like so I do this like I but I
• 1:38:32
  also hear like I have to play a game that's like brain-dead like
• 1:38:37
  guys like dark souls or something.
• 1:38:38
  Something I can just turn my brain off and do.
• 1:38:41
  Organ like Soul Calibur like just something to keep my hands
• 1:38:45
  and eyes busy, so I can pay attention mentally to what's
• 1:38:48
  going on. But I have had times where I've
• 1:38:51
  had players like definitely playing 14 in the background and
• 1:38:55
  I'm like, hey, hey player and then just like hey hey and
• 1:38:59
  they're like oh what's going on? And like you?
• 1:39:03
  Yeah, I mean yeah, you gotta understand your limitation if
• 1:39:06
  you're gonna do that, kind of shit.
• 1:39:08
  I mean, quite frankly, I responses this, Urge as much as
• 1:39:12
  physically possible because, like, I do it a little bit.
• 1:39:16
  I mean, shit, I will open up a twitch stream or something even
• 1:39:19
  while I'm jamming, you know, but I'm just kind of having it there
• 1:39:27
  as like a pressure release, valve.
• 1:39:29
  I'm not using it or paying attention to it a lot and I use
• 1:39:33
  and I have a muted, you know what I mean?
• 1:39:36
  So also a lot of time, it's just something to look at with my
• 1:39:39
  eyeballs just because board is not physically doing anything, a
• 1:39:43
  lot of the time, you know, But yeah you gotta understand your
• 1:39:49
  own limitations with that sort of thing and try to you know.
• 1:39:57
  Yeah I mean I don't want to if you must fuck it play a video
• 1:40:03
  game or something. Yeah play something that's not
• 1:40:05
  going to take an obscene amount of attention don't play fucking
• 1:40:10
  sieve 6 while you're in the middle of the session, you know,
• 1:40:14
  I so on. And ironically, I'm willing to
• 1:40:17
  bet you and if I played fighting games during during sessions,
• 1:40:23
  that's what I could lab for hours.
• 1:40:27
  I mean we talked about how I just I am capable of labbing
• 1:40:29
  because I get really bored but if something's holding my
• 1:40:32
  attention then I could probably lab.
• 1:40:35
  I don't know, maybe I won't but I could see II couldn't yeah.
• 1:40:40
  Like I couldn't do that because what?
• 1:40:42
  I'm playing a fighting game, my I go into like fighting game
• 1:40:46
  mode. And I tend to my my like all of
• 1:40:50
  my thought process, like all my brain power goes into that.
• 1:40:54
  You know, that is something I tend to get pretty like mentally
• 1:40:58
  invested in it just easily. Not like not pay attention to
• 1:41:05
  Yeah, I remember we talked about this a while back.
• 1:41:06
  I and like ever since aunt said it I could I try to use the
• 1:41:11
  screen name, whatever he said. It, I know, I mean, I know it
• 1:41:15
  matters to some people, so I try to be good about it, does it
• 1:41:19
  matter to that person? Yeah.
• 1:41:22
  When he put it like, you know, why I play fighting games, I
• 1:41:25
  just slapped buttons. That's, that's probably what I
• 1:41:28
  having the most fun fate playing fighting games.
• 1:41:31
  Like just hitting but yeah you don't ya you don't enjoy them as
• 1:41:34
  like a technical exercise on some level.
• 1:41:37
  Like it really depends in the gate like Skullgirls, I do and
• 1:41:41
  Soulcalibur I do and to some level like kind of Street
• 1:41:46
  Fighter II do but like not really for those.
• 1:41:49
  I'm like I actually care about improving like I really want to
• 1:41:53
  do good but there's games like Guilty Gear where like I play
• 1:41:57
  axle and I poke I just throw my sides out at people and see if I
• 1:42:01
  can Catch them, or I like to fucking stroke the big tree
• 1:42:05
  with, you know, because I like to bring sound, it makes.
• 1:42:08
  Yeah, I mean, I think that's the difference between someone who
• 1:42:10
  like he's fighting games every once in a while and someone
• 1:42:13
  who's like into fighting games is appreciating them as like, a
• 1:42:18
  weird technical brain Flex or just being like want to do cool
• 1:42:22
  thing. Hit cool button, you know.
• 1:42:25
  Yeah, like I said I can't appreciate it.
• 1:42:27
  Certainly the especially with like Soul Calibur is myself.
• 1:42:31
  All, this is my game. I cannot be defeated in that
• 1:42:34
  game. I cannot allow myself to be
• 1:42:36
  defeated in the game specifically because I've lost
• 1:42:38
  quite a bit, but I always come back or try to, at the very
• 1:42:42
  least, that's a gamer. I'm like, no, I have to get
• 1:42:44
  better but I don't like it's I tell ya butter out.
• 1:42:48
  I don't care about the special techniques.
• 1:42:50
  I'm just gonna sit there and kill things until I get better
• 1:42:52
  at it. Yeah.
• 1:42:53
  See. But that's, I mean, you don't
• 1:42:56
  you don't get into the technicalities like you're not
• 1:42:59
  looking up Soul. Calibur Frame data.
• 1:43:01
  No, no that I rather pluck my eyes out with a spoon, right?
• 1:43:04
  See, that's the thing. I've looked up Frame data and
• 1:43:07
  like analyze Frame data, you know?
• 1:43:09
  I mean like that's the that's kind of the, you know, I have to
• 1:43:12
  preface this really hard. This is not a call-out.
• 1:43:15
  I'm not attacking you. Yeah, you are.
• 1:43:16
  But okay, no, no, don't worry good.
• 1:43:19
  I remember, I spoke with some people back when we went to
• 1:43:22
  school and they were calling out Frame data in Smash Bros.
• 1:43:28
  And I was like, Sir, you know this is a kids party game,
• 1:43:32
  right? Like, oh, you I know you said
• 1:43:40
  you were calling me out. You are all right.
• 1:43:42
  Look me out. Look, I'm psychic.
• 1:43:44
  Smash Bros is one right. I just I'll call I'll say I'll
• 1:43:47
  say words, I any other game you talk about cannot hear.
• 1:43:52
  I we're not know, I resulted entirely.
• 1:43:54
  We're not going to go down this Rabbit Hole.
• 1:43:56
  There's no difference, but we're not going to go down the rabbit
• 1:43:58
  hole. It's fine, but I'm gonna move
• 1:44:00
  out. No, no, no.
• 1:44:03
  It's an intense in one like you whatever you ask Sakurai.
• 1:44:07
  He never meant for Smash Bros to be competitive, so like okay.
• 1:44:11
  Yes. But you know just because the
• 1:44:12
  Creator says one thing doesn't mean they get to declare as once
• 1:44:16
  you put something out to the world you know you have to
• 1:44:18
  accept it's not 100% your baby anymore but it is fast.
• 1:44:21
  I we're not doing this. No, we're not doing this.
• 1:44:23
  We're not doing this kind of gonna get mad.
• 1:44:24
  You know, we can talk about, let me know because I'm gonna get
• 1:44:27
  back but like don't just talk about it, man.
• 1:44:32
  This has nothing to do with table top.
• 1:44:33
  So we're veering away. Very wise to be that.
• 1:44:37
  I saw this. We're gonna get mad for we're
• 1:44:38
  gonna do. Fuck up, shut the fuck up.
• 1:44:42
  All right, instead we're gonna talk about the statistical
• 1:44:44
  chances of rolling numbers on a D20, right?
• 1:44:46
  All right, let's do that instead.
• 1:44:48
  Great that's basically that is tabletop.
• 1:44:52
  Call out, that's tabletop creme data, let's say what's up - okay
• 1:44:55
  this art this is a real call out anyone know specifically Oh God
• 1:45:01
  damn. But I remember, we kind of, we
• 1:45:04
  had a we had like a we had an episode specifically about like
• 1:45:07
  like dice systems and it was interesting like to listen to
• 1:45:13
  it, but I care. So genuinely little about it
• 1:45:18
  that like I would never like if I was rolling, if I was doing a,
• 1:45:24
  I was making my own role playing game for example.
• 1:45:28
  I probably would just pay someone to do that research for
• 1:45:30
  her like hearing, Sam talked about it.
• 1:45:35
  It was super interesting because like, I can ask questions,
• 1:45:39
  right? Like there's a, there's an
• 1:45:40
  interactivity that goes into it. Uh-huh.
• 1:45:44
  But doing it on my own, fuck that like know.
• 1:45:49
  No, I'd rather dry hump a cactus.
• 1:45:51
  No, I'm good. Like mean, I don't wanna, this
• 1:45:55
  is a rabbit hole. I could probably go down for an
• 1:45:57
  hour, but we're we're going to wrap up.
• 1:46:01
  So I'm not going to let you know, I'll say episode sir how
• 1:46:04
  dare you say we're wrapping up? Well, I mean, we're hitting the
• 1:46:08
  time so I'm looking at the time. Look at all, doesn't excuse you,
• 1:46:11
  I do I do. Okay, all right, mr.
• 1:46:14
  Martinez relax. Okay, really real shit.
• 1:46:20
  Have you ever actually like I so many teachers as shooting high
• 1:46:26
  school, huh? Is this going?
• 1:46:29
  Oh no, I remember. I was very specifically, had a
• 1:46:31
  teacher say this to me in high school and I was always very
• 1:46:34
  respectful to my teachers like I because you had some fucking
• 1:46:38
  clowns who were just really disrespectful and really
• 1:46:40
  disruptive. I had one teacher have a
• 1:46:42
  conniption because of someone else and they were like I just
• 1:46:45
  want you to know the bill doesn't, excuse you.
• 1:46:47
  I do, and I just like the bell rang.
• 1:46:50
  And I got up and she was like, where do you think you're going?
• 1:46:54
  I was like, Well considering I have another class in three
• 1:46:56
  minutes on the other side of the school.
• 1:46:59
  Do you want to talk to that teacher?
• 1:47:00
  Because I don't, I know this isn't my problem.
• 1:47:05
  Sorry bud, and I just left and yeah, they were not happy with
• 1:47:11
  me for a while but like, you know, after the fact I could we
• 1:47:15
  like talked it out and it was ultimately, like, don't do that
• 1:47:19
  again. And I was like, Don't ever say
• 1:47:20
  that again. It will have a we can agree on
• 1:47:22
  that and then she was like, No And I was like, fair enough just
• 1:47:26
  know that it's gonna happen again.
• 1:47:29
  I it was it was very Alucard Trevor like fuck you eat shit
• 1:47:35
  and die. Like it's like we're not going
• 1:47:37
  to agree on this. That's a shame but like this is
• 1:47:41
  a weird beard battle you had. But okay I look I'm sorry.
• 1:47:46
  Teachers be going on power trips and you're like all right bruh?
• 1:47:48
  Like I mean you want to give A and a class that you don't teach
• 1:47:52
  that shut the hell up. Like, I've never had that
• 1:47:54
  situation real. So the okay, another weird,
• 1:47:59
  fucking straight, and, you know that, you know, what else you
• 1:48:01
  could describe. The says, this is the Steve
• 1:48:02
  litchman argument. What the fucking, wait, you're a
• 1:48:08
  paladin, right? Yeah.
• 1:48:09
  So you're pure of heart. Yeah.
• 1:48:11
  What'd you say, you've slept, like, you've laid with the
• 1:48:13
  fairer sex? Yeah, you're not pure of heart.
• 1:48:15
  But no, wait, wait, yes. I am.
• 1:48:16
  No. All right, no.
• 1:48:17
  Shut the fuck up unless you could on fuck that girl.
• 1:48:21
  That's what it is unless you can give me an a at a classic.
• 1:48:24
  You don't teach your not to fucking die.
• 1:48:26
  Like you're not the Arbiter on this.
• 1:48:29
  I guess, I mean, I definitely had teachers say that to me, but
• 1:48:31
  none of them actually. Really tried to enforce it.
• 1:48:34
  Yeah. Goddamn we went so many
• 1:48:41
  directions episode but I we made it to two hours we fuck and we
• 1:48:45
  did it. I was scared for a little while.
• 1:48:46
  I don't know why you're surprised about that.
• 1:48:49
  I'm not really but there's always like a fear like a stress
• 1:48:53
  beforehand of like can I talk for two hours?
• 1:48:54
  And then I realized we talked for literally always six hours a
• 1:48:58
  day daily. So like yeah, yeah, it's not
• 1:49:00
  hard. I'm quite proud.
• 1:49:04
  We we talked about unlike me, I'm Horace.
• 1:49:08
  What? Really on the phone call, you
• 1:49:13
  got a phone call right now, know what I didn't say.
• 1:49:15
  Anything. Are you know what?
• 1:49:16
  We're gonna have to talk about boundaries after this and I just
• 1:49:19
  feel like they're not being respected.
• 1:49:22
  They fucking truck. And Bud.
• 1:49:26
  Wait, what's that? Oh no.
• 1:49:30
  What's the phrase called? It'll play it veils and
• 1:49:32
  something lines and veils finds it.
• 1:49:35
  But yeah, lines have yes. Josh, come on.
• 1:49:36
  Nah, nah canceled. That's it.
• 1:49:40
  I'm trying to get on the green. Text RPG horror stories.
• 1:49:43
  Let's go baby. Yeah, those are so unhinged, I
• 1:49:48
  just correct. Do you like you must have this
• 1:49:52
  right? Like if someone tells you a
• 1:49:54
  story and you're like how would I have reacted to that moment?
• 1:49:57
  Sometimes it all of them. Every RPG Horror Story that I'm
• 1:50:02
  like, you could have just called this guy.
• 1:50:05
  A fucking loser and got up and left.
• 1:50:06
  Fly. Why did you stay Yeah.
• 1:50:13
  God. Alright.
• 1:50:15
  Yeah, fair enough. It's been it's been an hour 50
• 1:50:17
  minutes and we went from OnPoint to hyper sad to like, full
• 1:50:23
  schizo. Yeah.
• 1:50:24
  I don't like, I don't like, I don't like what you did that.
• 1:50:26
  I'm called, I don't like Jimmy, I'm calling my lawyer.
• 1:50:29
  I fair enough. I mean I didn't really do it on
• 1:50:31
  but I didn't mean to make it to make a deep.
• 1:50:33
  I just you presented a very interesting thought path and I
• 1:50:38
  don't know, I kind of wanted you to see where it went And went
• 1:50:41
  downhill. I mean it depends I mean if I
• 1:50:44
  feel like for some people this can be very enlightening, it may
• 1:50:48
  be. I feel like I'm just gonna get
• 1:50:50
  judged. I mean fuck them like who cares?
• 1:50:54
  I mean fair enough and argue without I think Josh, is this
• 1:50:59
  white fuck him like this you don't know him, fuck him.
• 1:51:06
  Let me Twitter. All right.
• 1:51:07
  Yeah, Twitter, which you should follow us on?
• 1:51:11
  Yes, you should follow us on Twitter.
• 1:51:13
  Take a look. Yeah, yeah.
• 1:51:15
  We should. You should totally subscribe to
• 1:51:16
  our totally real patreon. That Brett doesn't know about
• 1:51:19
  totally official, right? Don't know what stick script.
• 1:51:31
  There's a script since when maybe I should write a script.
• 1:51:36
  You should but you're the guy who deals with this shit anyway,
• 1:51:38
  so maybe this is the point. Yeah, follow us on all podcast
• 1:51:43
  platforms. Like, comment, subscribe, you
• 1:51:48
  can do that on Spotify now. That's pretty sick.
• 1:51:53
  Yeah, follow us on digit tubes, and everything else.
• 1:51:57
  And have a nice day or don't have a nice day.