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Next Generation “Golden Girls” · Inside The Moms Club

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Hi, Welcome to Inside the Mom's Club, where being a mom is the
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coolest place to be. Here in the Mom's Club, we believe that what
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embarrasses you now will make a great story later. And let's face it,
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you don't laugh sometimes you're gonna cry. Join us in having a good laugh
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together. I'm Monica Samuels. You are now inside the Mom's Club, your
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private destination for all things mom. Who. Hi, Mom's Welcome to Inside
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the Mom's Club. I'm your host, Monica Samuels, and I'm here with
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my co host, Julie Orb. Hello. Friends, Hello, friend,
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how are you? I am great, and you know what, I am
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so excited about this show. I'm excited about all the show. All great.
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And you can catch him on YouTube please subscribe. But that's a whole
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other story. I mean, I'm stupid getting him on the show because this
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is right, well, this is the whole concept. This is a whole
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show. Yeah, because we started inside the Mom's Club because there were a
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group of friends that we all met through our kids' school, right, and
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we are We've become tight friends ever since. We go on vacations together,
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we have any text. We're basically married like our guests are going to talk
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about, like you know, about friendship being the new marriage. So we're
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so married in a way that my husband, now, okay, we're about
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to have our big anniversary. And last year Julie was at our anniversary dinner.
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There was the three of us, and this year we were planning when
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we were going to have it, and he asked me when Julie was available.
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Listen. I tried to bow out. But my favorite line, I
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have to tell it, my favorite line, we're at dinner, Marco,
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godchually, thank god you're here, because if you weren't, we'd be fighting
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at our anniversary. We wouldn't have that. It's not for the whole like
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a little thing might have come up. But yeah, and then recently I
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went to a basketball game with two of their husbands. Yeah, I have
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to our friends. And then I have to say one of them was a
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really big, great sport because I face planted in the middle of the street.
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Yeah, and uh yeah, yeah, I'm sure they didn't know what
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to do with you. They were like, no, he left to go
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get the car to come back for me, and I kind of wonder if
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he was. They was sitting there thinking is he going to come back,
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because if I were him, I don't think I would come back. Yeah,
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it was rather embarrassing. I even had a lady ask me when it
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happened, did you just get hit by a car? And I said no,
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and she said oh, then she walked off. It's like, I
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guess she wanted to tell people I saw somebody get yeah, help me.
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But anyway, that's a whole other story. But we are like, we're
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very close, very close. We traveled together. Yeah, do you have
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a favorite story of a friend, like a moment in our friendship that sparks
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you know, don't tell the bad ones. There's a lot of I'm gonna
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tell bad ones. There are so many good ones. Yeah, there are.
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Do you know the one that that kind of is touching to me is
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that one of our friends has been ill and we all went to Italy together
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to post a tano It was amazing and she couldn't come. Yeah, So
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Julie and I were sitting in the beach and Julie picked up this rock because
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of course the beaches in Italy are super rocky. Yeah, it's this huge
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boulders she pulled up out of them and she said it would be cool if
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Angela could be here. And I said, you know what, I'm going
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to take that home to her. And I took a piece of Italy.
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I don't know if that's illegal or not. I'm an attorney. I should
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probably have just anyway, I took it with me and gave it to her.
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And she was recently in the hospital and she pulled it out of her
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bag and she said, this is my good luck. You know, this
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is what pulled me. It's rub this rock. Whenever i'm it's it and
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down. It's you know, we keep each other from getting lonely. And
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I read something about our guest today where they said, you know, this
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is kind of one of the reviews like their new book that's out an antidote
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to loneliness. I couldn't agree more. And I think friendship is critical.
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If you don't have it, then the consequence can be loneliness. So it's
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really important. But you know what I did mention to you, there's this
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new thing called mom munes where single moms get together and they live together to
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help support each other. Yeah, and I asked you, of all of
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our friends get together, would we ever want to live together like like the
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Golden Girls. I don't think it's just single. I think like just generally
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in general. Yeah, I think you came to the conclusion, no,
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it's a living situation. Yeah. But we did talk about, well,
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we also talked about like who are you in the Golden Girls? And yeah,
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like immediately she's like, Julie, you're the most wise cracking, sarcastic
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one. So it's either the mom yeah, something I honestly, but then
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that left me choices like me as a Rose, I'm not Rose, yeah,
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and I'm sure not Blanche. Yeah. So that was so I guess
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we didn't have to create her. We'd have to think about that. But
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you know what I mean, we're just we're just yeah. I mean we've
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done things. I mean like one night, it was my birthday and I
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was feeling a little bit low. I walk out of the airport. There's
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Leslie, there's Jennifer. They picked me up at the airport. You know,
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you're good friends when they pick you up at the airport and they take
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you to the er. So I do those two things, so I consider
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myself a good friend. And then I get home and you're there, and
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you know, we had a little cake and a little you know, jewelry
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exchange, and then we gave you I've never taken a yet heart well,
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and they just had my birthday and they gave me a cake and it said
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we love you on it and that was very touching. Well you're welcome.
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Yeah, so let's get right into because I can go on an subject.
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Our guests today have written a book together called Stay Golden Girls. Friendship is
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the New Marriage. And they are friends, they are lifelong friends, and
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they are both named Rachel. So I'll introduce the first. Rachel is a
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writer, director, and Academy Award nominated producer of The Dallas Buyers Club.
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Together with Lebron James, she produces biopic Shooting Stars, and you can catch
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her audio drama Supreme The Battle for Row on iHeartRadio. Please welcome Rachel Winter.
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Welcome Rachel to the Mom's Club and our other Rachel is a writer,
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teacher, and mental health advocate, and she hosts a podcast called Dear Family
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Podcast where she has inspirational guests who've overcome mental health obstacles joined her and shared
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their stories. Please welcome Rachel Steinmann. Welcome Rachel to the Mom's Club.
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Well, we are so excited to have you, ladies. Like we said,
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we are all over this. This is a great topic for us because
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this is the whole reason that we're here, and for a point of reference,
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because we've had double guests before, but they usually had different first names.
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We're rachel S and Rachel if we're directing a question, and that's for
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our later for our zoomer moms too. So let's start. Either one of
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you can pick this up. How did you decide to write this book?
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Where did the idea come from? I mean, obviously the genesis of your
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friendship, but what's said, Okay, let's write a book. Well,
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Rachel and I met in college and through first jobs, marriages, kids,
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thirty years together, our relationship has grown to the point where it's more than
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just a friendship. We really relied on each other and we have a group
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of friends, and over the years we've always kind of joke, you know,
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maybe one day we'll live together or that kind of goolden girl's mentality.
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Three of us married older guys, so you can not me but and so
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we just have always kind of had those discussions, kind of joking around like
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who would do what, similar to what you were saying, but really this
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was more than that, and yeah, post pandemic, we realized that we
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really relied on each other and found such kind of a need for just that
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connection, and that we realized that our significant others and our children weren't the
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only person that we needed to orbit our life around, and that we could
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have this kind of platonic romance and celebratory just relationship with our friends and celebrate
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love. And another mutual friend of ours, who names Kim, she gave
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us this article about these seven young Chinese women who pulled their resources together to
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buy a home run down mansion to rebuild it to one day retire in.
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And they ended up using this home to come together and form this community and
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raise their kids in. And we realized, Okay, this is on the
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other side of the world. This is not just something we're thinking about.
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This is something women are thinking about. And Gallantines this new holiday that is
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really kind of in the zeitgeist. We have daughters. They were celebrating Galentine's
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Day as we were wanting to celebrate Galentine's Day, and we just started writing
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chapter ideas and it morphed into writing figuring out great inspirational quotes, and it
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turned into essays and we came out with this book. And this book has
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a lot of legs. It's this the book that we're calling a gift book
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that's perfect to give to your best friend, your mom, your daughter,
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your aunt, anyone that you love in your life, and what you say.
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It has a lot of legs because we know the importance of community.
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We know the importance of going on those girls' trips and having those girls' nights
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out or girls' nights in, or even it's like a zoom cocktail hour if
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you can't get if your friend lives far away. And what's been most exciting
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to us is the reaction from this book, whether it doesn't matter what generation,
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how old these women are that we're running into. We're hearing stories about
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groups of women that have nicknames for each other and nicknames for the group,
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and how meaningful those friendships are. And I think one thing we can all
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agree on in right now in the world it can feel kind of like a
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dark place. There's a lot happening in the news. We all can agree
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that friendship is amazing and that it's worth celebrating, celebrating and and so that's
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really why we wrote this book. Am I missing it? Yeah, I'm
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like, wow, Wow, I wouldn't ask me. We all want to
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call you. Well, that's great, I have. You know, we
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kind of have a saying. We do have a name for our text group.
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We call you know, Monica has been generous enough we go to Epcot
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Food and Wine and everybody has had a chance to go, So we call
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it the Disney Moms, which has been a lot of fun. We'd label
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that. But we also have a saying and Leslie, you know, and
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I talk about this, and you know, she'll say to me, it's
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a terrible idea. What time and where do I be? You know,
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So you rely on your friends, and you know, I never I looked
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forward to getting the group chat every day during especially during COVID. During COVID
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hit hard at COVID, A divorce and a kid leaving for college and you
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know, high school graduation. So I can honestly say when I say I'm
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giddy about it, it's because it got me through and it continues to all
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the time. Friendship, So I'm really glad that you put pen to paper
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and you know, forced it out into the world and that we celebrate women
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and that also it's girl incorporated. Is that is girls ink? Excuse excuse
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me, girls ink excuse me. So you know you also decided to promote
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You can probably speak to it better than I could. Women supporting women and
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you know, some of the I'm assuming some of the proceeds to the book
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are proceeds go to Girls Ink, which is a fantastic organization. They've been
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around it since the eighteen hundreds, the mentor young girls, young women and
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it's it's extraordinary. So you're really thrilled that they want yea, they embraced
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us to do that. Yeah, so I'm my one question is that you
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guys basically are in your own right. I was able to listen to podcast
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Rachel that was so pivotal. So my question for you is that you are
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the one about where they go into the high schools and the pressure and I,
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off the top of my head can't remember, but I listened to it,
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and it's so critical right now to a lot of our moms that are
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listening on your podcast, your family. If you haven't listened to it,
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it is really incredible. What does it bring to you when you have a
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guest and you know you're putting it out into the world, you know,
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really hearing it from the kids, and you know, you know feedback.
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Well, I appreciate that. Thank you. Yeah. I volunteer for NAME,
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which stands for National Alliance on Mental Illness. I go into middle schools
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and high schools and I speak to parents, and I speak to staff about
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warning signs for mental health issues, and I offer resources and I offer hope.
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And the reason why I started podcasting and volunteering and writing and blogging about
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mental health issues is because I come from a long line of generational trauma passed
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down bipolar depression, substance abuse, you name it. My family had it,
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multiple divorces, the scandals, you go on and on and on,
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and I did not want to pass that on to my kids. And I
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wanted to be able to talk about it and reread the shame and the stigma
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and often family secrets and replace it with love and compassion and understanding. And
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we all know every family is affected by mental health. We all have mental
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health, by the way, just like we all have our physical health.
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But where this ties in really well with friendship is that we are living in
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a time where it's an epidemic of loneliness, and whether it's young people that
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are just staring at screens all day and not interacting friends. We're social creatures.
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We need to be with one another, We need to reach out to
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others. Just to having conversations and connecting really is so helpful for our mental
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wellness. And so I love that I get to remind kids and students and
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parents and loved ones the importance of making those connections even when you're feeling a
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little bit down, the importance of kind of pushing yourself to get out there
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and have a coffee with a friend. And on the flip side, being
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a good friend means reaching out to someone that you haven't heard heard from in
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a while and checking in on them. If they go silent, continue to
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check in on them. Often you don't know what they're going through, and
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they will be so grateful later on. And it can just be listening,
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it can just be that kind of open ear that sitting at them, you
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know, on a couch and hanging out. Well. And that's where this
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is so important, because just as for us as a group of friends,
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because you become so close as friends, that's what great thing about friendship,
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you can share you're not if you go silent, that's a big thing because
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you're friends. They really know you very well. But a lot of times
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you don't go silent. You you spill your guts out there on text.
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You know, I'm really feeling bad today, I'm having a hard time,
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and they build you up and they help you out. Well, they not
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only build you up, but you laugh. Oh yeah, youar but off
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for sure. And I want to hear more about this joint check now,
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when you started this business together, yeah, tell us about that. It
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happened and we so when we when the book kind of materialized. Cow,
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as you now know, that's not what I would normally say, but holy
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cow, you can say it. So. And the funny thing is when
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women attempt to accomplish a goal, I find it's sort of it becomes a
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challenge because everyone's like, is it a hobby or is it a business?
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A if I were a man, would you ask me that question? And
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that's not what I would normally say, yeah, exactly, And then you
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know, b it's like, okay, just just watch us. And I've
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gotten very far in my own career. My and my husband says the same
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thing too. It's like, uh, you tell me I can't do something,
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just watch me can really propel a person forward. So it was very
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important to us that we were going to see this through. We know how
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we feel about each other, we know how we feel about our group of
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friends that we met through, and certainly are other groups that we have in
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our lives that were so bless to have our relationships with our mothers, et
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cetera. How to share that with the world. So then it became this
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series of like, Okay, well we're going to share it with the world,
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and and we're going to manifest that money is not just going to keep
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going out, but it's also going to so we're going to open a checking
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account. And so we went over to the bank and maybe it was hilarious.
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It was like two people who just got off like another planet. Yeah,
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they're like, so you're not married, but you yeah, but it
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was really sweet. And then we have we're wearing our clothes. Yeah.
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Yeah, it's a traditional Irish it's also in the oh there you are yea
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of golden Yes. Oh yeah, it's part of the theme of our book.
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And yeah, I mean we so can you tell them what your husband
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said at friendsgivings, Yeah, what did he say? Mind? Memory is
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kind of gone like that, we're extra married. Yeah, right hand,
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left hand. I get it. So at friends giving, they have this
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incredible group of friends. They every year they get together for however many years
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they're doing it, and they all go around and you're not allowed to say,
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oh, I'm grateful for right, you know, my children. Great,
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you have to say something a little with more depth. And her husband,
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when it was his turn, he said, I'm grateful that my wife
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just opened checking account and exchanged rings with her best friend. And I'm not
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jealous, and I'm not jealous. I'm not jealous. You actually really hit
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the nail on the head with that is telling me that story, because quite
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honestly, I did dive. I'm a huge podcast listener, so I was
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able to listen to you and your husband talk to Rachel, which was really
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great because you're such a power our house and being a director and being with
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like you know, obviously working with Matthew McConaughey and then Kelsey Grammar, I
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think he's he's absolutely one of my favorites. So to have that be your
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director old debut, I think if I have that correct with him, is
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so incredible. But I find that men and you can tell me about this
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about your husband, that they kind of watch women in amazement about friendship and
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they're like, how does this work? What is that? They don't often
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have those type of tight you know. You know, he might be like,
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why are you texting her again? You just text her thirty seconds ago?
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Or why? Yeah, like, what what is it that you possibly?
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Right? My husband's always like, didn't you just talk? Didn't you
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just ago? I have something else to say? So my question is does
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your husband get jealous or either one of your husbands? But I was able
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to get to know your husband, Terry Winner a little bit on this podcast,
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which I found extremely fascinating, the whole story. But you know,
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and so tell us about that, like what does he have to say about
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it? Because I'm interested. Women's friendships are kind of a correct question,
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you know, it is a great question. I first of all, our
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husbands are really good friends, so that's super fun. And Terry, my
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husband is not jealous. I think he's really happy for me. I think
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he truly feels like what a blessing. He's still best friends with two of
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his best friends growing up in Brooklyn since they were ten years old, Bob
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being Chris, and they're still super tight. So he values that and he
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understands it. There are occasions where the seventeenth phone call has come in and
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like we're getting ready for bed or whatever, and I don't have to see
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the IRA. It's you know, right into your skin, like you know,
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yeah. But honestly, at that point, it could be anybody calling.
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You'd probably be like, come on, what the yeah, yeah,
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the day is over. Yeah. Now, I actually co wrote a book
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myself years ago. And friendships are interesting. Mean, friendships are beautiful,
22:23
but sometimes there's friction. Yeah, like was there any any issues or did
22:30
you all just agree one hundred percent? This is I mean probably in college
22:36
they probably threw you down a little bit occasionally. I don't know it's a
22:38
new marriage, because you know, marriages always have those, you know,
22:41
every once in a while. Have you had any of that or do you
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just and how do you deal with it? How do you get past that?
22:48
Yeah? I mean, first of all, I want to say,
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I think our friendship has grown exponentially since college. I wouldn't even say we
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were remotely as close in college. Yes, we've grown and realize that our
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ethics and morals and approach to the world have been very similar, you know,
23:08
And I think that so that has grown. I don't. We've been
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very lucky. The process has been super smooth, and we're also I think
23:18
humor is such a good way to diffuse the situation. I think I'm super
23:25
funny, so it's always great because I'll go for the joke every time.
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They don't always land, but who cares. I'm a great audience and she
23:30
her easy laugh, so like I highly she should hire herself out. And
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there have been times where you basically an idea sucks and then you just make
23:45
a joke about it and the other person instinctively knows, well, okay,
23:48
let's move on from that. So we've been able to maybe avoid because there's
23:52
not that sensitivity personally. We're trying to build something because it is a fifty
24:00
to fifty right, So like if one person has an idea and the other
24:03
person doesn't like it, we've often said, like, okay, well,
24:07
let's sleep on it, and then we seem to come and meet and miraculously
24:11
get to an understanding, and that is a blessing. I know that not
24:17
every friendship has that. But in one of the chapters is about honesty,
24:22
and sometimes that honesty means you have to bite your tongue. It's not the
24:26
right moment. So like learning when the right time to kind of share what
24:33
you're really thinking is a valuable tool. Say or that hurt me, or
24:40
that that sucked I really wish you hadn't said it or whatever. Those things
24:42
really help. I mean, I really wish you wouldn't give Monica ideas for
24:48
me to you're writing them down. I know I want the book. Go
24:53
ahead, Rachel, Yeah, yeah, no, I will one Rachel.
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We act. We both ended up buying the same jumpsuit and I was like,
25:04
like, we need to go when we sell the books, we should
25:07
both be wearing our jumpsuits. I'm like, it's not I love Lucy.
25:11
Yeah, She's like it's a great I no, no, Oh my goodness.
25:21
So you guys both have you have children obviously a part of inside the
25:25
mom's club here, and I would like to know do you share the same
25:29
parenting philosophy or you know this parenting is the gift that keeps on giving sometimes,
25:34
so whoo yeah, tell us about being a busy mom writing a book.
25:41
Yes, And I do want to say I have learned a lot from
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Rachel and the way she She's a terrific mom. She's an unbelievable mom that
25:52
comes very naturally to her. And I feel like over the years I've really
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learned a lot and even more recent you know, feel like good. She's
26:03
really kind and doesn't say I told you that like five years ago, like
26:07
you should have adopted that theory a long time ago. But no, I
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mean I love being a mom. My children and are the most important things
26:18
in my life. My husband is right behind them. And but yeah,
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I'm I'm a big advocate advocate. I'm just a big fan of being honest
26:27
about I don't know shit when it comes to came in. Yeah, there's
26:33
a lot of it is instinctual and making and being okay with making au ton
26:37
of mistakes all the time. But the love is always there. And that's
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the thing that you don't have to go to school for and you don't have
26:47
to study up. You just have to have your children now that you love
26:49
them, and then you know, ultimately, I think you get forgiven for
26:52
a lot of mistakes. Yeah, I mean, I'll say that. So
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I am a teacher. I taught kindergarten through sixth grade. I got my
27:02
teaching credentials, my master's from UCLA. I taught kindergarten for a very long
27:07
time and before I had kids, and parents would come to me and I'm
27:14
like, would have to fake like this advice, right, And I used
27:18
to be like, how can you not have time to read to your kid
27:21
at night? Or whatever? It was? Right? And I had my
27:23
own kids and I'm like, oh my god, that was horrible. How
27:26
could I, you know, look at them that way? But I did
27:32
definitely come from that developmental side. And like my first daughter, I made
27:37
sure that she had every single sporting equipment and didn't wear pink. And then
27:42
the second daughter could do whatever, you know. So they're the ups and
27:47
downs. My kids are older than Rachel's, so there's that. Yeah.
27:52
I have a twenty one year old who is at University of Chicago, and
27:56
I have an eighteen year old who is a high school senior who's going off
28:00
to college. So I will have an empty nest and a few and Rachel
28:04
still has kids at home. Yeah, so what now I've I personally,
28:11
I'm going to definitely get the book. And but I've already gotten one takeaway,
28:15
which I already know what I'm going to give Julie for Gallentine's say,
28:18
she's going to get a beautiful ring. If I have times, I told
28:22
you, ladies that you know. But what is the What are some of
28:26
the takeaways you want readers to get from reading your book? Well, first
28:30
of all, on the ring, we definitely can hook you up with this
28:34
amazing jewelry company that made the mold for a ring. It's all love around
28:40
the neck. Oh, Monica put a diamond in mine? Yeah, well
28:45
I could you have to ask your husband, mister Samuels. Yes, I
28:49
mean, I'm sorry, I don't have authority for that. Sorry. Yeah,
28:55
And then I think the question was, what's what's like one takeaway book?
29:02
Gosh, you know again? Laughter is so the best medicine. Friendship
29:08
is the best therapy. Take care of each other, take care of yourselves.
29:14
I think that modeling that you know how we're supposed to model for our
29:18
children. I have been noticing that modeling for our friends. So if I
29:26
have found something that's working for me, if it's anything from like getting better
29:30
sleep or oh guess what I actually started to exercise again or take care of
29:33
myself. Modeling for your friends is a good gift for them as well,
29:38
Like, you know what I started to do, I want you to do
29:41
that. I want you to you know whatever, like it. I think
29:45
that that's a really good thing. You know. One of my favorite quotes
29:48
from the book is, you know, a friend will help you move A
29:52
best friend will help you move a body. So I love that. Yeah,
30:03
yeah, yeah, yeah, you know. And I definitely feel like
30:07
be there for your friends is a gift. Being there for my friends is
30:12
a gift to myself. I feel if I know that they're feeling good,
30:18
I feel good. I want that for them. And I just feel like
30:23
modeling behavior everywhere in life is just no longer reserved. Yeah, I mean
30:29
that's a I know we have zoomer moms, but you have a really really
30:32
good point, Rachel, because like, not only is it a gift to
30:34
yourself, but I have two daughters and a lot of times I need to
30:37
control it comes out of my mouth. So me showing them that I have
30:41
these relationships and these with these friendships, I'm like they're watching and they're saying,
30:48
look at the communities, you know, this friendship that you guys have,
30:51
and you guys have other friends I know who went to I think you
30:53
see Santa Barbara with you that are part of this group, and they're watching
30:57
and they think it's pretty, you know, magnificent. So yeah, absolutely,
31:03
well, and you mentioned we have some zoomer moms. You have some
31:06
questions for you, So welcome zoomer moms. Welcome to the Mom's Club.
31:12
Janine, Welcome to the Mom's Club. Do you have a question for the
31:17
Rachels for the rachels. Oh, Hi, this is Janine and such a
31:22
pleasure to join you. I've been listening to the promotion of wonderful relationships,
31:27
but do you ever address in your book or experiences in your life when you
31:33
have a relationship that is a lot of work, it's a high maintenance friend,
31:38
and there may come a time where there needs to be some separation.
31:42
Do you have some thoughts on this? So Rachel's calling you Rachel, and
31:53
I'm taking notes to yourself. She's just feeling Yeah, I think it's it's
32:00
a great question. Thank you for joining. I would say that I've had
32:07
I've been in that situation where it was very interesting, the dynamic was between
32:14
myself and one of my very closest friends was developing into it was getting unbalanced,
32:22
and one I was more in a position of taking care, and she
32:30
decided that she needed a little space from me so that she could regain her
32:36
own footing. So that feel like she was putting us back on equal ground.
32:40
And I thought that that was so smart and so what a thoughtful thing
32:47
to do, not for me, but for herself and so my I having
32:52
been the recipient of getting kind of the cold shoulder, I got like mini
32:57
ghosted for a little bit. I feel it and knew what was happening,
33:01
but I was able to step back and respect it, and I felt like
33:07
we are so close. It didn't eat a lot of words at the time.
33:10
Potentially the communication upfront would be more ideal, but I still got it
33:15
and I respected it, and it completely gave us the reset that we needed.
33:21
Nice. Yeah, that is interesting, and well do you need a
33:27
reset? Is that why you like? What's happening right now? I'm going
33:32
to when you're ghosted, just remember to remember what you said as the other
33:38
Rachel, because you're a mental health expert. Is that the best way to
33:43
handle it for both parties? Is that the way you would handle that?
33:50
You know, Look, I am not a therapist. I so just so
33:53
you know that if she plays no. But you know, our tagline is
34:02
friendship is the new marriage. Friendships are relationships. They require work. It's
34:10
not just a given to have a friend. You need to be a friend
34:14
you have and if someone is hurting your feelings, there needs to be communication.
34:19
There needs to be sometimes there needs to be a separation. But yeah,
34:24
I mean obviously good communication in any relationship is going to make that relationship
34:31
stronger, better. I mean, clarity is kindness, Yeah, I said,
34:37
clarity is kindness. Yeah, sometimes it is. Dolores, do you
34:42
have a question? You know, it's sort of a question. I have
34:50
a good friend that for forty years. We used to we work together for
34:55
about fifteen years, and what happened to us is that we almost lost the
35:04
friendship over politics. And so we have thought about writing a book about how
35:13
to keep your friendship. When there becomes a not in that relationship we needed,
35:25
we would buy it. We would buy it. Like a lot of
35:30
people understand what you're saying and where you're coming. I will say I was
35:36
in a similar position and unfortunately the friendship has not survived. But I will
35:43
say, on the surface, it might seem like it had to do with
35:49
politics, but it was because we ultimately stopped watering the flowers in our garden.
35:55
When the foundation of the friendship becomes too weak, it will not support
36:01
a seemingly like a growing apart in terms of ethics, morals, politics,
36:09
where all those areas that can sound very accusatory, like you're not the person
36:15
that I thought you were, whatever, But it always comes from underneath,
36:19
under the surface, or all those seeds, and those seeds, just like
36:22
Rachel was saying, if you don't know what are those seeds, they do
36:25
die and they will not sustain in the face of hardship for the friendship.
36:30
Yes, yeah, and that I haven't learned the hard way. Yeah.
36:35
Yeah. That would be a great book though. That would be especially these
36:37
days large to explore that subject. Well. As we said, our show
36:43
started because of our our friendships with each other and with some other moms,
36:47
and two of them are here at Zoomer Moms. So, Leslie, do
36:52
you have a question. I do. I think it's really interesting. I
36:57
mean, of course, you can't really explain your whole journey of your friendship,
37:00
but obviously at some point you were not always. You know, a
37:02
lot of people stay friends because their kids are the same age, they're going
37:07
through the same thing, they're kind of on the same path. Obviously,
37:13
Jennifer s you know, has older children and was on that path earlier,
37:17
and that sometimes that strains of friendship. How did y'all continue to foster that
37:22
relationship as one kind of moved into marriage. I mean, Jennifer White,
37:27
you might have been married and not kids, but you know, Jennifer as
37:30
you got married, and chel Rachel and Rachel Less, Rachel and Rachel.
37:37
I'm sorry, I was thinking Jennifer made Jennifer Marshall. Yeah, it's okay,
37:43
Chel Less, like you obviously kind of got on the path, you
37:45
have older children. So how did you How did y'all foster that relationship during
37:51
that time, because that's just such a pivotal time that you really just kind
37:52
of form these friendships around where you are in life. I think we just
38:00
continue to have fun together, respect one another, fine commonality, turn to
38:08
each other for advice, and I mean, I don't know, but it's
38:15
true we were on different timelines, you know, It's true. Of course
38:19
they're the mommy friends that you meet, and that is a chapter about where
38:22
you meet new friends. There's all places and times to meet new friends.
38:29
And it's funny, I do. I think when you have a historical friendship,
38:31
that's like an old friend and now we're very careful because we're getting older.
38:46
And I think that when you have these solid friendships that are older and
38:52
more cemented, give you the freedom to, like, you also have your
38:57
mommy friends, or you have your new friends or you know, and by
39:00
the way, those may be dad friends too, of course. And I
39:04
think that when you are very secure in the relationships I've been around for a
39:07
long time. Of course, like we just talked about, you've got to
39:09
keep nurturing them, but it gives you support to almost like and then introduce
39:15
new people into the relationship. So then if bought me the new friend who
39:19
was maybe more on the same time frame as where Rache was with her children,
39:23
for example, they could become friends. And so yeah, I mean
39:27
it's sort of we're really lucky. Yeah, you're spreading the love. But
39:30
I see you, Rachel Winter, looking at Rachel' stimon going tell me,
39:36
tell me what it's like you have empty nesting sleeping late and not having tell
39:45
me all about it. Yeah. Well, we also talked about spouses being
39:50
jealous of the friendship. Sometimes you have multiple friend groups and like if one
39:55
of the moms or one of the friends seems to be spending more time with
40:00
that other friend, like, I know, you know, they're kind of
40:02
getting jealous of my pickleball club. I can already sense it. I was
40:06
so jealous. Yeah, but I have to practice or what are you gonna
40:09
now? But I think he's a good idea to draw these, you know,
40:14
bring them in and introduce more people. So I think that's a great
40:16
idea. Well. Another one of our friends is Jennifer, who's here.
40:21
So Jennifer, do you have a question. I do. Yes, I'm
40:24
a proud member of the Disney Club Law Club. And you know, it's
40:30
funny we forever we sort of as women, you know, you go through
40:35
life, at least I did, playing all the teams, being all you
40:37
know, organized get togethers, and we're all so busy and we have so
40:43
much structure, time and friendships kind of just bleom out of that. But
40:46
then I'm about I also have my last child as a senior acast of twenty
40:50
twenty four and you know when you move. I mean, Monica's done a
40:54
really good job. And you know, the Disney Mom sort of came out
40:59
of what we do after we graduate and there's no more structured time. We're
41:02
not traveling through sports together, We're not sitting on the sidelines watching baseball.
41:07
Like, what do you do to create structure in a relationship? So there's
41:12
not every time you get together, it's not like a big amount of work
41:16
to organize everyone and get everyone on the same page and get everyone to the
41:20
same place. And what's your advice about sort of creating a routine outside of
41:24
a structure you don't control, or a structure that is no longer they are
41:30
when you're out of I mean so many things, so mind and I love
41:34
that you brought that up. And like, you know, being part of
41:37
a group or part of a team, or like my grandma used to meet
41:42
with her friends and play bridge, or whether it was like going to the
41:45
church to church or temple or whatever and meeting with people. It's so important.
41:51
So what we like our group, we have everyone, we get together
41:55
and celebrate birthdays and we try to go away on girls trips. Sometimes it's
42:00
literally like just a girl's dinner, and but the texts that go back and
42:07
forth, you know us and that's just so fun and silly, and and
42:12
we meet together for two hours, but the text have like where are we
42:15
going to meet? Where are we going to go? Like that's that and
42:16
of itself has probably surpassed the amount of time we've spent too keeping that connection
42:23
together. Maybe it is planning the once a year we're going to go to
42:29
Palm Springs and make it an annual type of thing. And it's also about
42:34
taking turns. I think everybody in a friend group well, and we joke
42:38
about this, so if we all live together, like who would do what?
42:42
I think Monica said that at the beginning of this, like who takes
42:45
on which role? Right? But you know maybe in that text chain,
42:50
you know, it can fall on different shoulders, be like, Okay,
42:54
we're going to take turns setting a plan and that way kind of takes the
42:59
pressure off one person. Yeah, yes, everybody gets a break and justice
43:04
to show up. So maybe it's also about the organizing where everybody shares the
43:10
responsibility. One of our group members, we call her Julie McCoy. The
43:16
she's the cruise director. Yeah, he really is, and she loves that.
43:22
But I think when when she's got too much going on, other people
43:25
step in. So I think sometimes it's nice to share that and dole out
43:30
the different responsibilities and making sure that the plans get executed. I think you're
43:35
onto something, Rachel. You should do a movie and direct it about women
43:39
friendships on a cruise ship and all the cattiness and the joy and the love
43:45
that would come out of it. I think that we're onto something. They
43:47
took together. I think you two are texting on the girls trip. Yeah,
43:53
I'm wearing the jumpsuit on Friday. You can wear it on Sunday,
43:58
so Rachel make me wear it at the same time, and then Rachel'll be
44:02
like, on Saturday, we wear it together. Well, no, this
44:07
is this has been super fun. I mean I've really enjoyed this show and
44:10
it's got really gotten me thinking absolutely, yeah, especially about you just said.
44:16
I'm standing thinking, yeah, who was who? And our friendship if
44:19
we were organized and we were talking about this. So if we were doing
44:21
something, Jennifer is the person you call if you want it organized, Like,
44:25
definitely organized. You and I order out if we decided to live in
44:30
a big house together. We would have Leslie build it because she doesn't you
44:34
build anything. Yeah, Denise, Yeah that's your friend. And what's my
44:39
role? I mean you called me Julia McCoy the other day. I mean
44:43
I don't or also keep us out of trouble because I'm a lawyer. Yeah,
44:46
she doesn't let me do anything, like when she's driving. I mean,
44:52
it all works out, but then you're more fun because you're like,
44:55
hey, you know, I'm gonna I'm gonna go find it's not your a
45:00
terrible idea? What time that? Yeah? That is where I got that
45:02
from Leslie and I yeah it's a terrible idea. What time do I show
45:07
up? Yeah? We love that for that, and then we don't call
45:09
Monaco and those. Yes, that's right, that's right. I'm yes.
45:13
Well, you know I have toy that this book. Every female should have
45:21
a copy of it, should buy it. It's called Stay Golden Girls.
45:23
Friendship is the New marriage. And definitely go and get it. I know
45:28
you can get on Amazon. Where else can they find it? So it's
45:31
on Amazon, It's on EXD and you can also go to our website.
45:37
We're in a bunch of boutiques which has been really fun to see it like
45:42
in the real world. I know, yeah, you guys need to hit
45:45
up Austin. We have some boutiques there. We'd like to see it absolutely
45:50
absolutely well. I'm definitely going to get a copy and Ring did. Yes,
45:55
it's our Heart and Soul, Ot and Soul, Marth and Soul.
46:00
We just just so you know, we just did our first live show ever
46:06
Marth and Soul, and so we love Arth and Soul absolutely well. Now
46:10
we know exactly where to get it and we'll be run when we get back
46:14
home. That's exactly where we're gonna get beautiful. I love that. Thank
46:16
you so much Rachel and Rachel for joining us. This has been tremendous.
46:22
Hey, moms and all our new besties out there, we have an assignment
46:25
for you. So we want you to invite two of your friends to follow
46:29
Inside the Mom's Club on Instagram, on our TikTok, and subscribe to our
46:34
YouTube channel. So that's your assignment, ladies, and we're looking forward to
46:37
expanding the friendship we got all your new friends added to our great audience.
46:43
I can't believe we're It goes by really fast. Every single show goes by
46:47
fast, but we're going to be Thank you well. Thank you for joining
46:53
us, and Mom's out there listening, thank you for joining us. And
46:58
remember the Mom's Club motto. If you don't laugh, sometimes you're gonna cry.
47:02
So you don't want to cry. Laugh out there, ladies, and
47:06
we'll see you next time inside the Mom's Club