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Transcript

GUYS CAN'T KEEP GETTING AWAY WITH THIS · Relatables

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Coming up on relatables, what's the weirdest way you've been
• 0:02
  Speaker 1: hit on?
• 0:03
  Speaker 2: And did it work? Here comes the aeroplane before kissing me.
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: Shut up, Shut the fuck up, you did? Did it work?
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: It works?
• 0:13
  Speaker 3: I'm going to do it to my girlfriend tonight. I'm
• 0:16
  Speaker 3: going to do that to my missus A.
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: That's so funny.
• 0:30
  Speaker 2: The Relatables podcast is hosted by it Mister Jake Craig
• 0:33
  Speaker 2: aka Daddy and myself Audie Clark aka Mummy. Thank you
• 0:37
  Speaker 2: everybody for tuning in once again. You guys are the
• 0:39
  Speaker 2: baddies listening.
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: Starting today's episode off with a nice message from Patreon.
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: If you're not a Patreon already, go hit it up.
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: Erica chessil Chessl. That's a beautiful name, Erica Chessl. I
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: like that name. Hey, guys, just finished listening to the
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: How Delusional Are Men episode on Spotify. I like the
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: deep chat around identity and I was thinking, don't put
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: too much pressure on yourselves to be perfectly disciplined. You
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: guys are doing great, and be sure to give yourself
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: credit for all the things you are doing. Personally, when
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: I think about my identity, I think about all the
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: things I enjoy or the experiences I've had growing up,
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: who I surround myself with, and the person I'd like
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: to be. But I enjoyed the simplicity of what Jake
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: said of just doing your best. Much love as Erica.
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: That was very nice, pulling on the heart strings already,
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: So everyone could take something away from that. She was
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: giving us a nice compliment. But everyone out there, just
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: give yourself some credit.
• 1:32
  Speaker 2: You know what I took away from that? What sub
• 1:35
  Speaker 2: a Jake fan?
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: Sub the Patreon and go listen to that Spotify episode?
• 1:39
  Speaker 4: Yeah?
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, but what are we doing this week? We've
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: got what's the weirdest way someone has hit on you?
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: And did it work? And I'm surprised that some of
• 1:57
  Speaker 1: these work, Jake. I actually a lot of them didn't,
• 2:02
  Speaker 1: but some of them did.
• 2:04
  Speaker 2: I think I wish like they could attach a picture
• 2:06
  Speaker 2: of the dude who said it true, because I beat you.
• 2:08
  Speaker 2: This some pretty privilege going in.
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: These dudes can get away with a lot of stuff.
• 2:14
  Speaker 2: You can say anything you go first, Okay, saying I
• 2:17
  Speaker 2: look like his wife, that's.
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: Kind of smooth, you reckon, No, that's cheating, cheating, Yeah,
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: saying I look like his wife.
• 2:27
  Speaker 2: Yeah, So this guy's married.
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: No, I have a feeling he's single. And he's like saying, like, oh,
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: you look like my wife, Like what I want my
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: wife to be. I took it as he's got a
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: wife and said, you look like my wife. Maybe I
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: think yours is right. Okay, that is smooth. That is good.
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: That's good. H weirdest way someone has hit on. You
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: told me sleeping with the ginger was on his bucket
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: list and it didn't work. Oh, thank god, thank god.
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: How bad he didn't let that work? Thank god? Damn. Oh,
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: what's the weirdest way you've been hit on? The one's weird? Charlie.
• 3:04
  Speaker 2: I'll let you bite my finger. Yeah, yes, it worked.
• 3:09
  Speaker 2: I thought it was hilarious.
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: Ouch, Charlie. Charlie hit my finger? Was that one of
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: like the original viral video that was It wasn't on
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: vine it must have been vine it was I honestly,
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: I'm thinking it was just on Facebook because it was
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: a vine six seconds max. And that video was like
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: a minute.
• 3:28
  Speaker 2: That's still in my head that Charlie did the picture
• 3:31
  Speaker 2: and he's like.
• 3:32
  Speaker 3: Oh, oh, what a funny video.
• 3:38
  Speaker 2: We should recreate that weirdest way you've been hit on?
• 3:44
  Speaker 2: And did it work?
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: He told me my hands look like pizza crust because
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: I have chubby fingers. It worked.
• 4:00
  Speaker 2: What's gone through some men's minds?
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: A like, what do you mean? Bro? It works?
• 4:05
  Speaker 2: But still like one thing that goes up like a
• 4:07
  Speaker 2: girl even if she's got chubby hand yet, Wow, that
• 4:09
  Speaker 2: looks like some pizza pizza cross and you voice that,
• 4:11
  Speaker 2: you voice that.
• 4:12
  Speaker 1: Opinion, your hands look like pizza cruss. I just want to.
• 4:16
  Speaker 2: I just want to put it in my mouth, like
• 4:18
  Speaker 2: what the fuck?
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: Man?
• 4:21
  Speaker 2: What's the weirdest way you've been hit on? And did
• 4:23
  Speaker 2: it work? Here comes the aeroplane before kissing me.
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: Shut up, Shut the fuck up? You did did it work?
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: It works.
• 4:33
  Speaker 3: I'm going to do to my girlfriend tonight. I'm going
• 4:37
  Speaker 3: to do that to my missus. A that's so funny.
• 4:39
  Speaker 1: I've done it with food to my missus. But no
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: you haven't. My god, I still haven't dacked my missus yet.
• 4:44
  Speaker 1: I keep forget. You gotta do it. I gotta. She's
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: gotta be wearing like pajamas or tracking.
• 4:48
  Speaker 2: Oh you even try their tight pants and just face
• 4:50
  Speaker 2: when I first go you gotta get away there.
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: I really the first guy wanted to be ankles, like
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: I wanted to be full ankles, and I just wanted
• 4:56
  Speaker 1: to be like, what the the best technique?
• 4:58
  Speaker 2: Daker photo of it? You look at your phone, take
• 5:00
  Speaker 2: a photo. But then once it's a consistent thing that
• 5:02
  Speaker 2: you're doing, do it on any pants. And if you
• 5:03
  Speaker 2: do it when she's wearing like tight pants, you're like, ah, yeah, okay.
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: She'll get your Yeah, she'll be like, I go, yah,
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: what's the weirdest way you've been hit on? And did
• 5:11
  Speaker 1: it work? Invited me out for office drinks. It was
• 5:16
  Speaker 1: just him and I. Three years later, I'm pretty sure
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: it worked. Oh been together for three years. Someone's smooth.
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: I like that one, just off the strings. I think
• 5:25
  Speaker 1: that was good. That's not that weird. It's not a
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: weird one. She was like, that's good.
• 5:29
  Speaker 2: It's a useful little team off for strings. Yeah, because
• 5:32
  Speaker 2: it doesn't sound sus Oh yeah, I drink. If you
• 5:34
  Speaker 2: said you want to have a drink, you know you
• 5:35
  Speaker 2: can tell his intentions. But you say office drinks, You're like.
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: Off, we're all going out. Came a to team rapport,
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: you know, team building, Yeah, team bonding, let's have sex. Well,
• 5:46
  Speaker 1: it's so weird. Were the only ones. I invited everyone
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: on LinkedIn. We're the only ones that came. Yeah, how
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: weird is that? Well?
• 5:51
  Speaker 2: We may as well stay for one or two. It's
• 5:52
  Speaker 2: on the company cart. We must have a connection. We're
• 5:55
  Speaker 2: the only two that got the message.
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: It's so weird. They're trying to set us up. Something
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: here comes here. Fine, what's the weirdest way you've been
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: hit on? And did it work? This one's good?
• 6:10
  Speaker 2: Oh told me that his mom would say I was
• 6:13
  Speaker 2: too good for him.
• 6:14
  Speaker 1: It worked. Oh, so it's a compliment. And then and
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: it's also but it's something saying mean about himself. Yeah,
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: that's a good way to it. And I'll say she
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: was probably like, I can fix you. I can fix you.
• 6:27
  Speaker 1: You're not too good for me, you're sexy. I can
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: fix you. Weirdest way have been hit on? Slid into
• 6:33
  Speaker 1: my DMS with a picture of a slide dated him
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: for two years. That's pretty funny. I used to do
• 6:43
  Speaker 1: like back in the day. Well, I know what you're
• 6:46
  Speaker 1: about to say, used to emoji of a dog. Oh, sorry,
• 6:50
  Speaker 1: skippy right away, come back skippy, whatever you wanted to
• 6:53
  Speaker 1: call him, I'll do dog.
• 6:55
  Speaker 2: And then a picture of like a blind man walking
• 6:57
  Speaker 2: so I can't find my dog.
• 6:59
  Speaker 1: He's seen him. Fuck, it's bad. Did that ever work?
• 7:03
  Speaker 1: I actually got some conversations out of it, conversation, but
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: nothing further. No, no, no, no, no no. I think
• 7:08
  Speaker 1: I thought it was funny though. Yeah, it is funny.
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: It's a good story.
• 7:11
  Speaker 2: What's the weirdest way you've been hit on? And did
• 7:12
  Speaker 2: it work? Sent me an invitation to our wedding?
• 7:16
  Speaker 1: Did it work? No comment? Shit, we need to know
• 7:21
  Speaker 1: if they're married. I know that's quite of cute.
• 7:24
  Speaker 2: Like you got a little email and it's just like
• 7:26
  Speaker 2: a little link to Audion Cassie calling the police. What
• 7:33
  Speaker 2: if you've been talking to her for a while. Oh,
• 7:35
  Speaker 2: that's not You're not just out of the blue.
• 7:37
  Speaker 1: I thought it was just out of the blue, like
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: you just like send it to her as a DM
• 7:40
  Speaker 1: like a ghost of DM slide. That's crazy, you're doing
• 7:44
  Speaker 1: that weird just what you've been hit on. I was
• 7:48
  Speaker 1: in the club and the guy ran up behind me,
• 7:51
  Speaker 1: threw a note at me with his number on it,
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: and ran away. It didn't work. She twelve sounds like something. Honestly,
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: I got to say, I don't even know if I
• 8:04
  Speaker 1: do that. That's all that's too scary for me. Good
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: on him.
• 8:07
  Speaker 2: Yeah, at least he had a little bit of a shot. Okay,
• 8:10
  Speaker 2: I want you to reenact this one for me. Oh shit, okay, okay,
• 8:13
  Speaker 2: what's the weirdest way you've been hit on?
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: And did it work?
• 8:15
  Speaker 2: Sent me a video on Snapchat winking and then asking
• 8:18
  Speaker 2: me out you got me to do that thing? I
• 8:25
  Speaker 2: need to be serious face. Wait, just said we were out.
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: We don't get it. You want to hang out, we
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: go out. Have you seen those videos of Ben Affleck
• 8:41
  Speaker 1: famous like a list actor director on our Ria on
• 8:46
  Speaker 1: Ryer and he sends videos to girls when they unmatch him,
• 8:51
  Speaker 1: going hey Sarah, why do you want match me? Sarah?
• 8:54
  Speaker 1: And it's the creepiest thing made. It's crazy, the ship
• 8:59
  Speaker 1: that he fucking's doing. You won't know if that got
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: your date? Yeah didn't. I didn't think so. Ah, weirdest
• 9:09
  Speaker 1: way you've been hit on? He randomly came up to
• 9:12
  Speaker 1: me and sniffed me and said, you smell like my
• 9:16
  Speaker 1: future wife.
• 9:18
  Speaker 2: No, that didn't work, thank god. Reading scrolling through these,
• 9:22
  Speaker 2: I was a couple of hygiene. One's about a couple
• 9:24
  Speaker 2: of weird skin and like smell and yeah, like dudes.
• 9:27
  Speaker 2: If any dude's listening, don't comment on like the smell. Nah,
• 9:31
  Speaker 2: there was one that I didn't choose.
• 9:32
  Speaker 1: That one guy, it's just fucking crazy, went up to
• 9:35
  Speaker 1: go and said, do you want to do you want
• 9:38
  Speaker 1: to help losing weight? She was like, no, it did
• 9:41
  Speaker 1: not work.
• 9:43
  Speaker 2: He probably met like sex or something sex burns carries.
• 9:47
  Speaker 2: All right, what's the weirdest way you've been hit on?
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: And did it work?
• 9:50
  Speaker 2: For context? This girl's name is Vicky. Someone sent her
• 9:54
  Speaker 2: a message on hinge. Can I lick Vicky till I'm sticky?
• 9:57
  Speaker 1: Wiki? It did not work? Immediately blocked. Oh my gods,
• 10:08
  Speaker 1: Jesus Christ, I got one more challenged me to a
• 10:13
  Speaker 1: dance battle from across the pub. Of course it worked.
• 10:17
  Speaker 1: That's that's yeah, that's classy, Yeah, confident you. Thanks everybody
• 10:31
  Speaker 1: for tuning in. Once again, we got a good rest
• 10:34
  Speaker 1: of the episode. Please enjoy already Up next, you guys,
• 10:43
  Speaker 1: we've got a confession session and she didn't want to
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: be anonymous.
• 10:46
  Speaker 2: Surprisingly, she didn't want to be anonymous, and she literally
• 10:49
  Speaker 2: tells you where she's from.
• 10:52
  Speaker 1: It was a good story though. She was a good
• 10:55
  Speaker 1: storytell She was very good and if you guys, want
• 10:57
  Speaker 1: to submit a confession, go to our Instagram the link
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: in the show and you go linking by on Instagram.
• 11:03
  Speaker 1: Scroll to the bottom Confession session. Write it in. Give
• 11:06
  Speaker 1: us your Instagram handle Vola. We'll contact you. Yeah, it's magic.
• 11:10
  Speaker 2: You go get a little DM on Instagram relatables or
• 11:12
  Speaker 2: Jake or Audie's message.
• 11:13
  Speaker 1: You do us a favor. Don't be private. We have
• 11:16
  Speaker 1: to follow you. Yeah, Jordan was smart. I had to
• 11:19
  Speaker 1: follow her because I was like, this story is too
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: good not to ask to do it. But don't take
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: your I won't be following anyone else, all right, I'm
• 11:27
  Speaker 1: telling you right now, I'm not following. Don't be on private.
• 11:30
  Speaker 1: If that was me, I would have kept looking. Really
• 11:32
  Speaker 1: I would have been like that it was too good
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: of a story. You gotta wait. It's so annoying, but okay, enjoy. Hello, Hello,
• 11:39
  Speaker 1: welcome to Confession Session. How's it going so good? How
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: are you doing? Really good? I'm here with Audie.
• 11:46
  Speaker 2: Hello, thanks for coming on. I sense an accent. Where
• 11:49
  Speaker 2: are you calling from?
• 11:51
  Speaker 4: I'm from Canada?
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: Whereabouts?
• 11:55
  Speaker 5: Just a s of Toronto, the wrong side, the wrong side.
• 12:02
  Speaker 1: First off, we'll ask would you like to be anonymous.
• 12:05
  Speaker 4: No, I don't really mind.
• 12:06
  Speaker 1: All right, Welcome Jordan to the podcast. Guys. Nice to
• 12:10
  Speaker 1: meet you. I've got to say, I really like so
• 12:11
  Speaker 1: much for having me. Oh, of course, I really like
• 12:14
  Speaker 1: the name Jordan for a girl. Yeah, because it's like
• 12:16
  Speaker 1: mainly a boy's name, but I like it for a girl.
• 12:18
  Speaker 1: I do too. Actually, thank you. I mean, unless I
• 12:20
  Speaker 1: don't want to. I'm sorry. I don't want to assume
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: your a gender, but.
• 12:23
  Speaker 4: I am a girl.
• 12:24
  Speaker 2: Yeah, might not like it after this story the prompt
• 12:28
  Speaker 2: today maybe when you gotta go, you gotta go Jordan.
• 12:31
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so you've got a bit of a story if
• 12:32
  Speaker 1: you want to take it from the top. Yeah, I
• 12:34
  Speaker 1: give us all the details. Yeah.
• 12:36
  Speaker 4: So I work for a lawn care company and I
• 12:42
  Speaker 4: am in the gardening department. And it's not very often
• 12:45
  Speaker 4: that our clients will like offer the washroom or like
• 12:49
  Speaker 4: it's a really nice then yeah they will, but not
• 12:52
  Speaker 4: all the time. We have a very accessible washroom. So
• 12:55
  Speaker 4: we were working at a condo complex and I was
• 13:01
  Speaker 4: weeding a garden and all of a sudden, my stomach dropped.
• 13:06
  Speaker 4: And it's one of those moments that you're just like, oh, okay,
• 13:10
  Speaker 4: this is happening this like I gotta go.
• 13:18
  Speaker 5: No.
• 13:18
  Speaker 4: I look at my boss, who was one of my
• 13:21
  Speaker 4: very close friends, and she's so amazing, and I'm like,
• 13:25
  Speaker 4: like we we've run into this issue before. This isn't
• 13:27
  Speaker 4: the first time for.
• 13:30
  Speaker 1: Me and her.
• 13:34
  Speaker 4: Yeah, So I and we hang out outside of work
• 13:38
  Speaker 4: all the time. So like one time I was like,
• 13:42
  Speaker 4: she had a pull over on the side of the road,
• 13:45
  Speaker 4: and then this time I look at her, I am
• 13:48
  Speaker 4: like I referred back to that moment and I was like,
• 13:50
  Speaker 4: I gotta go. So I hopped in the truck, the
• 13:53
  Speaker 4: trailers attached, and I just drive to my nearest burger.
• 13:56
  Speaker 1: King fast foods alway says a toilet.
• 14:01
  Speaker 4: Right, So I run in there. I get in there,
• 14:06
  Speaker 4: and I am so happy because it's a solo stalls
• 14:13
  Speaker 4: for yourself.
• 14:16
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 14:17
  Speaker 4: So like the door locked behind me and I was
• 14:19
  Speaker 4: in there alone your business, and for this moment, I
• 14:23
  Speaker 4: was so thankful. So I go about my business and
• 14:28
  Speaker 4: it was not a pleasant experience. And I I turn
• 14:33
  Speaker 4: and I go to white but there's no toilet paper.
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: That's what's not in one of those places.
• 14:44
  Speaker 4: And I'm sitting there almost sweat, like I'm starting the
• 14:46
  Speaker 4: sweat it's a big one.
• 14:48
  Speaker 2: Was it like did you eat some bad food? And
• 14:50
  Speaker 2: not before it was you see boody oods and processing Well.
• 14:53
  Speaker 4: I don't even know. It had to be bad food
• 14:56
  Speaker 4: or something, but horrible experience. And so then I look
• 15:05
  Speaker 4: around this bathroom. No, no paper towel, there's nothing. I
• 15:10
  Speaker 4: didn't know what to do. So I grew up on
• 15:15
  Speaker 4: a farm, and I was like, I guess I'll just
• 15:18
  Speaker 4: have to use my sock.
• 15:21
  Speaker 1: Your sock.
• 15:23
  Speaker 4: I had to wipe. I couldn't just I didn't know
• 15:28
  Speaker 4: what to do.
• 15:30
  Speaker 1: What your suck?
• 15:32
  Speaker 2: How long have you been working at this point? Is
• 15:34
  Speaker 2: it like end of the Dinias Souck's all sweaty and dirty?
• 15:37
  Speaker 4: Like when you talked about in your rep like in
• 15:40
  Speaker 4: the Pods, like two or three episodes ago, and you
• 15:44
  Speaker 4: were like talking about like finishing in the sock. And
• 15:47
  Speaker 4: it's also I was like, I was like, oh my god,
• 15:51
  Speaker 4: because I had already worked like three properties this day.
• 15:54
  Speaker 2: And it's gross in there, like it's sweaty, it's fucking
• 15:59
  Speaker 2: dirt and there.
• 16:00
  Speaker 1: What did you do with the song?
• 16:02
  Speaker 4: So I turned it inside out.
• 16:03
  Speaker 1: I didn't put it back on.
• 16:05
  Speaker 4: First of all, no to wipe. Okay, it wasn't it
• 16:09
  Speaker 4: wasn't as dirty. It was just a little sweaty maybe.
• 16:11
  Speaker 4: But and then I had to throw it in the
• 16:13
  Speaker 4: trash can.
• 16:14
  Speaker 1: Okay, that's that's okay.
• 16:16
  Speaker 4: I didn't know what to do.
• 16:17
  Speaker 1: And is there not from reading this thing? Is there
• 16:20
  Speaker 1: not one more thing that topped this whole thing off?
• 16:23
  Speaker 4: So I go to flush the toilet, I finished up,
• 16:28
  Speaker 4: and this tool is broken.
• 16:34
  Speaker 1: That's not your problem.
• 16:36
  Speaker 4: It is so disgusting to just like leave it there.
• 16:39
  Speaker 4: But I had no idea what to do. I ran
• 16:42
  Speaker 4: out of that burger king, and I don't think I'll
• 16:44
  Speaker 4: ever be back.
• 16:47
  Speaker 1: I love these stories. I think if you went back,
• 16:50
  Speaker 1: there'd be a photo of you being like, if fanned
• 16:53
  Speaker 1: dot ento toilet.
• 16:56
  Speaker 4: It's seen, called the police for a hate crime or something.
• 16:59
  Speaker 1: I don't know.
• 17:01
  Speaker 2: So you went back to work with just no sock
• 17:04
  Speaker 2: on your under your shoe.
• 17:06
  Speaker 4: I went back to work with one sock on.
• 17:09
  Speaker 1: I would, are you, honestly? And did you tell her
• 17:11
  Speaker 1: what happened? Did you tell your boss what happened?
• 17:12
  Speaker 4: Oh my goodness, yeah, I went back to her immediately.
• 17:14
  Speaker 4: I awkwardly walked back to her and like it's visible,
• 17:18
  Speaker 4: I only have one sock on. So I walked back
• 17:22
  Speaker 4: to her and just my face says it all. She's like,
• 17:24
  Speaker 4: are you okay? Like did you fall in?
• 17:26
  Speaker 1: Like what? Man?
• 17:29
  Speaker 4: I have to look at my boss and retell this story.
• 17:33
  Speaker 4: He cried, laughing, like sitting there on the lawn just
• 17:36
  Speaker 4: dying laughing.
• 17:37
  Speaker 2: That's the funniest thing, the relief that would have happened
• 17:40
  Speaker 2: when she met at the burger king and then there's
• 17:43
  Speaker 2: no toilet paper.
• 17:43
  Speaker 1: I was like, yeah, fuck my life, I'm so I
• 17:46
  Speaker 1: just get so relieved when I make it to her.
• 17:47
  Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah, like.
• 17:50
  Speaker 4: The way I felt just like, oh, thank god.
• 17:52
  Speaker 1: I made it. Yeah yeah, yeah, it's the thank god
• 17:54
  Speaker 1: I made it. So you would have felt good and
• 17:55
  Speaker 1: then and while you were doing it, you would have
• 17:57
  Speaker 1: like even been like, Okay, at least I'm here. I
• 17:58
  Speaker 1: know this isn't great. At least I'm here. I made it.
• 18:00
  Speaker 1: And then yeah, the no toilet paper, top, what would
• 18:02
  Speaker 1: have you done?
• 18:02
  Speaker 2: I think I would have just what would I have done?
• 18:04
  Speaker 2: Cops not wipe and then went home and had a shower.
• 18:08
  Speaker 1: Well, it depends if I can. You can do sometimes
• 18:10
  Speaker 1: where you don't need to wipe, but sometimes it's this one.
• 18:12
  Speaker 2: You would definitely have to wap because every I would
• 18:14
  Speaker 2: have just copped it when I'm and stunk for like
• 18:15
  Speaker 2: for next hour.
• 18:16
  Speaker 1: Oh man, I think I would have called my boss
• 18:19
  Speaker 1: and been like, I'm just going to be a minute.
• 18:21
  Speaker 1: How far were you from your house?
• 18:24
  Speaker 4: I would do like a ten minutes dry.
• 18:27
  Speaker 1: I would have been saying I'll be back in twenty minutes,
• 18:30
  Speaker 1: twenty more minutes.
• 18:33
  Speaker 4: I think I'd just panicked in the moment. I didn't
• 18:35
  Speaker 4: know what.
• 18:35
  Speaker 1: To do, honestly, feah, I probably I probably would have
• 18:37
  Speaker 1: panicked as well. But yeah, god, I would have probably, No,
• 18:40
  Speaker 1: I would have done I would have used my undies
• 18:42
  Speaker 1: and chucked my undies out. True. I was thinking like
• 18:45
  Speaker 1: maybe even water like a the day water on the
• 18:47
  Speaker 1: bum Yeah, use the sink.
• 18:49
  Speaker 4: Yeah, girl to do that though, Oh.
• 18:51
  Speaker 1: True, Yeah, girl can't do that. That's a guy. I
• 18:53
  Speaker 1: can get rid of my undies and go free waters.
• 18:55
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah, true too. It works. Yeah, well, thank you
• 18:57
  Speaker 1: very much as well. Yeah, I'm sure you did. You
• 19:00
  Speaker 1: probably thought about T shirt pants. Thank you very much
• 19:05
  Speaker 1: for telling that wonderful story, and we hope you don't
• 19:09
  Speaker 1: have any more accidents.
• 19:10
  Speaker 4: I mean, you're welcome. Everyone, have a good day or
• 19:14
  Speaker 4: have a good night, thank you.
• 19:17
  Speaker 1: But I could tell you. I could tell you were
• 19:22
  Speaker 1: trying to interject and ask questions, and I was like,
• 19:24
  Speaker 1: I know, she's not done yet. Oh man. She was
• 19:31
  Speaker 1: kind of good. She like drew it out a while.
• 19:34
  Speaker 1: That was good. I was. I was in it. I
• 19:36
  Speaker 1: was in burger King with her saying here, I can
• 19:38
  Speaker 1: picture the exact toilet. I just like, I know, obviously
• 19:41
  Speaker 1: I don't know where it's at, but I can just
• 19:42
  Speaker 1: feel like I know what it looks.
• 19:43
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're thinking of Australia. I love the
• 19:46
  Speaker 2: straight she said, like washroom burger King. Yeah, we like
• 19:48
  Speaker 2: toilet macers. Yeah, yeah, yeah, they say washroom over that.
• 19:51
  Speaker 2: It's really funny.
• 19:52
  Speaker 1: And then if you say toilet, they're always they always
• 19:54
  Speaker 1: look at you. Funny. It reminds me of the time
• 19:56
  Speaker 1: that I was think of the poor Hoists worker that
• 19:58
  Speaker 1: had to go into the store that I vomited it
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: all over. Oh man. I tried to clean it up,
• 20:02
  Speaker 1: but I was so fucking high. I reckon.
• 20:08
  Speaker 2: Take away from this is if you ever like employ
• 20:10
  Speaker 2: someone to do your garden or any type of handiwork,
• 20:12
  Speaker 2: anything like that, first thing you should say, hey, toilets
• 20:15
  Speaker 2: here if you want to use it, don't even knock.
• 20:17
  Speaker 1: They will. You have no idea how much they appreciate it.
• 20:20
  Speaker 1: One time where I live, my dad had these guys
• 20:24
  Speaker 1: are called geotech guys, and they had to like drill
• 20:26
  Speaker 1: in the ground to see how far you have to
• 20:28
  Speaker 1: pour footings like hard rock. And I was going out
• 20:31
  Speaker 1: and I remember they came and they're asking where they
• 20:33
  Speaker 1: can park, and I show them where they can park,
• 20:34
  Speaker 1: and I was just like, oh, yeah, by the way,
• 20:37
  Speaker 1: if you go in the door straight to the left
• 20:39
  Speaker 1: of the toilet if you need it. Because I was
• 20:40
  Speaker 1: a chippy and I used to work a roundom people's
• 20:42
  Speaker 1: houses and they were like, hey, you can tell, we
• 20:43
  Speaker 1: can tell you've done this before. And I was like,
• 20:45
  Speaker 1: what can I say, because like, for a guy, you
• 20:49
  Speaker 1: can piss on a tree, but if they need to
• 20:51
  Speaker 1: take a shit, I know what it's like to hold
• 20:53
  Speaker 1: that in and I can't.
• 20:53
  Speaker 2: Oh, especially if you're far away from your house exactly.
• 20:57
  Speaker 2: But nah, that was funny, all right. Up next is dilemmas.
• 21:07
  Speaker 2: If you want to submit a dilemma, it's the link
• 21:09
  Speaker 2: in our bioscollar the bottom weekly The Dilemmas Google doc
• 21:12
  Speaker 2: or the little description of Spotify or YouTube dilemma. Me,
• 21:16
  Speaker 2: nineteen year old female and my boyfriend, nineteen year old
• 21:19
  Speaker 2: male have been dating for almost a year. At the
• 21:21
  Speaker 2: beginning of a relationship, he told me he was Catholic
• 21:23
  Speaker 2: and wanted to wait until marriage to have sex. However,
• 21:27
  Speaker 2: a month in our relationship we had sex. I did
• 21:29
  Speaker 2: not push him at all and made sure he was
• 21:31
  Speaker 2: completely comfortable before we did anything at all. We continued
• 21:34
  Speaker 2: having sex until April of this year, when he told
• 21:37
  Speaker 2: me that he didn't feel right and we should go
• 21:39
  Speaker 2: back to his beliefs and we should stop now.
• 21:42
  Speaker 1: He would like to.
• 21:43
  Speaker 2: Wait until marriage again. We're planning to get married in
• 21:46
  Speaker 2: the eyes of his church in twenty twenty six. However,
• 21:49
  Speaker 2: I'm worried that if we get married too young, that
• 21:51
  Speaker 2: we were missing out on something eg. Missing out and
• 21:54
  Speaker 2: being single. I love him so much, and I'm really
• 21:56
  Speaker 2: really worried. I love the chase, I love sex, I
• 21:58
  Speaker 2: love flirting, and I just don't know if one I
• 22:00
  Speaker 2: can wait, two, if I can get married so young.
• 22:03
  Speaker 2: Thank you for listening Love the pod.
• 22:07
  Speaker 1: Why would he start having sex? That's what I said,
• 22:10
  Speaker 1: then go back and be like, oh, well, yo, I
• 22:14
  Speaker 1: feel guilty. Yeah, I want to get to heaven. And
• 22:19
  Speaker 1: I'm pretty sure if it's considered a sin doing it,
• 22:24
  Speaker 1: then not doing it doesn't erase what was done.
• 22:27
  Speaker 2: Like what that's like from an outsider's perspective who isn't
• 22:31
  Speaker 2: religious at all. Yeah, that's really dog on his part.
• 22:35
  Speaker 2: So he gave this girl to like, it's completely honorable
• 22:38
  Speaker 2: to wait until marriage.
• 22:39
  Speaker 1: Right. Oh yeah, I hate I say respect for this man.
• 22:43
  Speaker 1: If you can do it, got a girl obviously very
• 22:45
  Speaker 1: attracted to her, He's like, got to do it. I'm
• 22:48
  Speaker 1: not surprised, which.
• 22:49
  Speaker 2: And then he's given her everything, she's fallen love even more,
• 22:51
  Speaker 2: and he's made love to her. And then he's like,
• 22:53
  Speaker 2: oh nah, I've tried to retract that.
• 22:55
  Speaker 1: You know, that's wild. That's the dog on her. Like
• 22:58
  Speaker 1: he it's not like he lost his faith. I assume
• 23:02
  Speaker 1: he had faith the whole time, because I would understand
• 23:06
  Speaker 1: if he at some point he goes, i've lost my faith.
• 23:09
  Speaker 1: I no longer fully believe. Let's fuck. Yeah. So they did,
• 23:15
  Speaker 1: and then it's like, maybe he regained his faith. But
• 23:18
  Speaker 1: from what I'm gathering is he never lost his faith,
• 23:21
  Speaker 1: he just lost self control. Yeah, and Jess was sick
• 23:25
  Speaker 1: of waking up.
• 23:27
  Speaker 5: Bricked in the morning, and there was no outlet because also,
• 23:33
  Speaker 5: pretty sure, don't quote me, pretty sure you're not supposed
• 23:37
  Speaker 5: to masturbate, but who's going to tell, although they do
• 23:40
  Speaker 5: say God's hees all.
• 23:41
  Speaker 1: But I think, what a fucking weirdo. I think that's
• 23:45
  Speaker 1: very bad on her. No, no, not on her.
• 23:47
  Speaker 2: That's very bad on his part.
• 23:49
  Speaker 1: Sorry, Like, you know, what scares me is that she's
• 23:52
  Speaker 1: saying like, like she seems to be fully like almost
• 23:57
  Speaker 1: fine with waiting until twenty twenty six. Worrying her is
• 24:01
  Speaker 1: that she's not going to get some single.
• 24:02
  Speaker 2: Time and she said she's like she might marry too young.
• 24:06
  Speaker 2: So I think just the fact that what he did,
• 24:07
  Speaker 2: he sort of played you in a way that doesn't
• 24:10
  Speaker 2: really sit right in my stomach.
• 24:11
  Speaker 1: Got what he wanted. He got what he wanted, He
• 24:12
  Speaker 1: got a.
• 24:12
  Speaker 2: Taste of what sex is like, I assume, and he's like, oh,
• 24:14
  Speaker 2: I can go back now I know what it's like.
• 24:16
  Speaker 2: And then you're just stuck in the middle, and you
• 24:18
  Speaker 2: obviously want sex because every human has urges, and then
• 24:20
  Speaker 2: you're like, oh, fuck, now I've got to wait. I
• 24:22
  Speaker 2: don't know, we haven't it two years and get married
• 24:24
  Speaker 2: when well that's for she's nineteen now she's big twenty one.
• 24:27
  Speaker 2: Yeah nah ow unprofessional opinion is live life like he's
• 24:32
  Speaker 2: played you a little bit. It doesn't sit right in
• 24:34
  Speaker 2: my stomach. Maybe you'd have the conversation with him and say,
• 24:36
  Speaker 2: like have a response with like, say, look, I feel
• 24:38
  Speaker 2: like you use me a little bit for sex.
• 24:40
  Speaker 1: Now he took it all away. What's going on here?
• 24:43
  Speaker 1: And like it's kind of crazy. You can't do that
• 24:45
  Speaker 1: to a person. Yeah, what's he going to do throughout
• 24:46
  Speaker 1: the marriage?
• 24:47
  Speaker 2: Yeah? I don't know, just a serious conversation. That's a
• 24:50
  Speaker 2: tricky one.
• 24:51
  Speaker 1: What would you do? Okay? Ready take away religion or no, na,
• 24:57
  Speaker 1: this is a scenario for you. Yeah you're not religious,
• 25:00
  Speaker 1: No religion involved in this. You've got your girlfriend, Yeah,
• 25:05
  Speaker 1: you guys have You've got sex life. Everyone's got sex life.
• 25:09
  Speaker 1: We dabble, you dabble it, you dabble here and there,
• 25:12
  Speaker 1: all right, million dollars okay, fuck a million dollars from today,
• 25:20
  Speaker 1: exactly two years from today. Two years. I was going
• 25:26
  Speaker 1: to say a year. You have to stay with her,
• 25:28
  Speaker 1: not that you're going to leave her, but like you
• 25:30
  Speaker 1: guys cannot have sex for two years from this day forward.
• 25:36
  Speaker 1: As soon as you get to this day, a million
• 25:38
  Speaker 1: in the account tax free, two years. That tax free
• 25:41
  Speaker 1: is pretty good too, isn't it? That is very good
• 25:45
  Speaker 1: tax free? I think i'd have to Can I talk
• 25:47
  Speaker 1: to her?
• 25:50
  Speaker 2: Here's the thing is, she's gonna want half of it? Yeah, yeah,
• 25:53
  Speaker 2: that's fine. What's our money, it's your money we're having
• 25:57
  Speaker 2: we're having sex. She's the other half. If I can
• 26:01
  Speaker 2: talk to her and if I don't know, if I
• 26:03
  Speaker 2: could physically, can we cuddle?
• 26:04
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you just can't up sick. You can do anything
• 26:06
  Speaker 1: that no sexual stuff like okay, and I'm talking like,
• 26:09
  Speaker 1: no masturbation, nothing do.
• 26:12
  Speaker 2: Five hundred grand. It's very good sex, though, I don't know.
• 26:15
  Speaker 2: I'd have to make a conversation with her and be like,
• 26:17
  Speaker 2: if you're okay, I'm okay of it. And if you're
• 26:19
  Speaker 2: not okay, but but I'm not okay.
• 26:21
  Speaker 1: Really yeah, fuck, stand on your own two feet, mate,
• 26:24
  Speaker 1: make a decision. I don't know. Well to her half
• 26:28
  Speaker 1: she likes sex too exactly. Yeah, I'm saying it's tough.
• 26:32
  Speaker 2: I don't I'm gonna I reckon fu two years. I
• 26:34
  Speaker 2: don't think I could do it.
• 26:35
  Speaker 1: I'm saying no as well. I don't think I could
• 26:36
  Speaker 1: do it. There's no way. I like sex rever too much.
• 26:39
  Speaker 1: It's not even like about that for me.
• 26:40
  Speaker 2: It's more about the ah I want to say, it's
• 26:45
  Speaker 2: about the connection with the partner.
• 26:46
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's more of like, how can
• 26:49
  Speaker 1: I even put it? Like i'd tell you what the
• 26:54
  Speaker 1: build up though? You know you're you're, you're twenty two,
• 27:00
  Speaker 1: it's in you. Guys get to have sex in two
• 27:02
  Speaker 1: months and five hundred grand each're like, we've gone this long? Yeah,
• 27:05
  Speaker 1: think about the build up and then the sex man
• 27:09
  Speaker 1: two years. I haven't No, I don't think I could
• 27:12
  Speaker 1: do it. I don't know.
• 27:12
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, this is stupid.
• 27:16
  Speaker 1: Who wants money anyway? Stupid? All those ask your friends.
• 27:30
  Speaker 1: Thanks for listening, guys, Thank you once again everybody. On Wednesday,
• 27:33
  Speaker 1: we've got coming up. We're doing it again. What banger?
• 27:36
  Speaker 2: What did you think you could change about him? Because
• 27:38
  Speaker 2: it was so good last time?
• 27:40
  Speaker 1: And then we're doing a deep segment on imposter syndrome.
• 27:44
  Speaker 1: Everyone's got it, from famous people to non famous. I'm
• 27:47
  Speaker 1: experienced a little bit of it. At the moment.
• 27:49
  Speaker 2: You'll find out, I'll find out. I'll find out, guys.
• 27:53
  Speaker 2: And then we finished with a brand new segment. Are
• 27:56
  Speaker 2: we going to explain it? We're just going to tell
• 27:57
  Speaker 2: you what it's called.
• 27:58
  Speaker 1: We're basically we're all in a cafe. Yeah, well you'll
• 28:02
  Speaker 1: see what we're doing. Yeah, it's funny.
• 28:05
  Speaker 2: There's a challenge involved. All right, go watch Wednesday after
• 28:09
  Speaker 2: this when it comes out.
• 28:10
  Speaker 1: But we love you all. Thanks for tuning in.