Latest / Good Morning From The Chicken Coop! / Season 3 - Episode 30 - Giving without expectation… Is it real?

Transcript

Season 3 - Episode 30 - Giving without expectation… Is it real? · Good Morning From The Chicken Coop!

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  Welcome to the Good Morning From the Chicken Coop Podcast with
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  Kim Johnson, your creative strategist and mastermind set
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  coach. Filled with inspiration,
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  distinctions, perspectives, and possibilities, we help you to
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  cultivate a mindset that leads you to create the best version
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  of yourself you could ever imagine.
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  Join Kim every morning from one of her favorite happy places,
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  her chicken coop along with all her chickens.
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  Hey, everybody. Good morning.
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  From the chicken coop today we are talking about giving without
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  expectation, giving without expectation.
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  Think about that for a second. All of us want to believe that
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  when we give something, we don't have an expectation of anything
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  in return. We think oh I'm just giving it
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  because I like to do things. I'm a giver.
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  I'm a I'm a carer. I I want to be out there and I'm
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  a I'm a people pleaser. That's the one I hear all the
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  time. I can't tell you how many times
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  this past week I heard that in one-on-one sessions.
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  I'm a people pleaser and here's the truth and this is the hard
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  truth that I had to learn for myself because I am that way.
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  I am a giver. And I absolutely, without
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  question, will admit it all the time, that yeah, I'm a giver and
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  I try to make people happy around me and I like doing
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  things for people. And I will also admit now, which
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  I wouldn't have done years ago because I didn't understand it,
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  I get something from it. I used to say no, no, no.
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  I just like the idea of giving. But no, I do.
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  I get something from it. I get that feeling of being able
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  to be in a state of knowing that I helped somebody shift.
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  I get the feeling of knowing that I can be the rescuer.
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  I can jump in there and be the fireman.
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  I can rescue you, of course. There are so many different
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  things. If I sat down and made a list of
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  all the things I get out of giving, it would be shocking to
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  a lot of people. And I bet if you did that
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  exercise, you would find the same thing.
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  Because the truth is, that is what happens.
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  It doesn't matter who you are or what you do.
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  Really hear me say this. It doesn't matter who you are,
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  what you do, how you show up in the world, your role in the
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  world. Whatever you are doing, you are
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  getting something from it emotionally.
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  You are getting something from it emotionally.
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  And that thing that you get emotionally from it is what you
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  need to look at. Because in that state of getting
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  something emotionally, oh boy, that's the that is the hook.
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  That is the thing that keeps you where you are.
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  Because it's not about you being stuck or anything else.
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  It's trying to figure out, well, how can I get this thing that I
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  achieve out of doing this through another vehicle?
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  What's another way I can do it? And by doing that identification
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  process, you break your pattern, if that makes sense.
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  So think about it. If I know that I want to feel
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  like I am the rescuer, I am that fireman, I'm going to be that
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  person that runs in and rescues. And I get a lot out of that for
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  feeling that I'm. Whether it's that I feel like
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  I'm loving or I'm smart or I was able to help them in a way that
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  nobody else could help them, so that made me feel special or
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  significant, whatever that is. And that I keep doing that
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  pattern. Yet that pattern is draining me.
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  Like I don't like it. I complain about it.
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  I'm I'm in it, maybe with people who are taking advantage of it
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  because they know you'll keep doing it.
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  Then you have to say to yourself, okay, if that's what
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  I'm getting out of that how can I channel that in a different
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  direction? So now, while this may sound
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  crazy, everyone who knows me knows I spoil the hell out of my
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  chickens. But guess what?
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  I do that not just because I I absolutely like, love taking
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  care of them, but I get something from it.
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  I do love taking care of them, but it's because I get something
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  from it. I get joy in doing it.
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  And that's a channel for me to use my rescuer and say, OK, I'm
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  going to go out there and I'm going to create the best chicken
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  life I can for them. But that brings deep, deep
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  feeling and emotion to me in the process.
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  So and and you know say, oh, what do you get back from it?
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  And if I sat there and I said to you, what do I really get back
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  from the chickens? Like do the chickens come up and
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  and wave their feathers at me and say thank you.
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  Thank you so much for providing us these great breakfast trays
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  and thank you so much for putting, putting us up in this
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  coop that we have and thank you so much for giving us all this
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  property to to free range on. No, nobody says that.
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  Nobody says a damn word about it.
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  They come, they eat, they walk away.
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  In fact, sometimes I give them snacks and they look at me like
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  I have 5 heads and like, what are you giving us this for?
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  Because to them, it's just whatever.
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  Doesn't really matter. Nope.
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  They're chickens. But yeah, I get something from
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  it. So I continue to do what I do.
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  And that's the point, recognizing that in this process
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  that you are like entrenched in in your world, you're going to
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  find that there are major pieces of yourself that you don't
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  necessarily tap into and realize because you think, oh, well,
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  this is just the label I have, you know, I'm this.
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  But the truth is, you're getting something from it.
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  So go back, figure out what am I getting from being this way.
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  What do I get? And it might just be simple
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  things like certainty, security. Whatever it is, you're getting
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  something. And when you know that, you
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  start to detangle the pattern and it becomes easier to decide
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  if it's something you want or you don't want.
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  Because knowledge is power. All right, my friends, I hope
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  you have a blessed day and I'll see you tomorrow.
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  Bye.