Latest / Beyond Labels Premium / Episode #231: Stop in the Name of God: What We’re Missing About Sabbath

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Episode #231: Stop in the Name of God: What We’re Missing About Sabbath · Beyond Labels Premium

0:00
SPEAKER_02: So the people who have been reported to live the longest and are the happiest in the world, they are the ones that quote retreat from the fury and the madness of the modern world.
0:10
SPEAKER_01: And I can remember like yesterday, we don't work on Sunday.
0:12
SPEAKER_01: So starting today, no Sunday dinners.
0:14
SPEAKER_01: And the one thing that I've done ever since uh Screens came out is Hi everybody, welcome to another episode of Beyond Labels.
0:25
SPEAKER_02: I'm Dr.
0:26
SPEAKER_02: Cena McCullough here with our favorite farmer, Joel Salatin.
0:30
SPEAKER_02: And today I want to talk about two ideas that may not sound like they go together like peanut butter and jelly, but they do.
0:39
SPEAKER_02: And that is rest and shame.
0:44
SPEAKER_02: So recently on our podcast, we asked our listeners, how do you know when you've done enough?
0:50
SPEAKER_02: Like, how do you know when you are enough?
0:52
SPEAKER_02: And we got some really great answers.
0:55
SPEAKER_02: And a lot of times the people who message me came down to the bottom line of they don't know when it's enough.
1:03
SPEAKER_02: And you know, Joel, I've talked about this for a while that I struggle with that question myself of when is it enough?
1:10
SPEAKER_02: When have I done enough?
1:11
SPEAKER_02: Um, there's just this constant striving that's in me that I feel like I haven't achieved it yet.
1:18
SPEAKER_02: And so I think everything happens in God's perfect timing.
1:22
SPEAKER_02: And what happened with me is that my friend told me about this book called Stop in the Name of God, why honoring the Sabbath will transform your life.
1:33
SPEAKER_02: And it's written by um Charlie Kirk and who obviously is now past.
1:39
SPEAKER_02: And I got the book because you know, whenever um I'm led in a certain direction, I I obey.
1:48
SPEAKER_01: Well, aren't you perfect?
1:52
SPEAKER_02: It's just fueling my insecurity that I've never enough, Joel.
1:56
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, that's right.
1:57
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
1:58
SPEAKER_02: No, so um, I did.
2:00
SPEAKER_02: I skimmed through this entire book uh a few days ago, and I'll tell you, some things really stuck out, and I wanted to share it with you.
2:09
SPEAKER_02: And I also want to connect this with shame.
2:12
SPEAKER_02: So one of the first things that jumped out to me, um, and and by the way, I want to say um you can interchange the word with rest if you want, and we'll get into great um some more detail about what this actually means to have a Sabbath.
2:27
SPEAKER_02: So in the book, he says that this book is not written for the religiously initiated alone.
2:36
SPEAKER_02: It is written for the exhausted parent, the anxious student, the burnt out executive, the soul-numbed scroller.
2:44
SPEAKER_02: This is a manifesto against the machine of modern life.
2:49
SPEAKER_02: It is a call to war against the endless noise and the ceaseless hurry that have slowly robbed you of your joy, your wonder, and your rest.
3:00
SPEAKER_02: I am not writing to affirm your lifestyle, I am writing to interrupt it.
3:06
SPEAKER_02: How's that for an intro, huh?
3:08
SPEAKER_01: That is that is an intro.
3:10
SPEAKER_01: And you know what, Cena?
3:11
SPEAKER_01: Uh, I mean, I just can't help but think as you were reading that, here's a man who at 31 did more than most people do in a couple of lifetimes, and yet he honored the Sabbath.
3:29
SPEAKER_01: That's that's profound.
3:31
SPEAKER_02: Okay, so he didn't always honor the Sabbath, and that's one thing I love about this too.
3:37
SPEAKER_02: He said, so he was running three companies, he was doing three hours of radio a day, he was traveling all across the country giving talks.
3:46
SPEAKER_02: He was recently married, you know, and at some point he had the kids, and he said he was so fatigued, he had more obligations than he had time, he resorted to drinking eight cups of coffee a day just to stay afloat.
4:00
SPEAKER_02: And then he met with a friend of his who um he was complaining to the friend, you know, he was hoping that the friend would, you know, kind of give him a little like, oh, you're doing great, out of boy, you can do it.
4:12
SPEAKER_02: And instead, what the friend said, he looked at him in the eyes and he said, Are you honoring the Sabbath?
4:19
SPEAKER_02: And Charlie Kirk laughed and he said, I don't have time for that.
4:23
SPEAKER_02: And then later on, he had this um revelation that um the Sabbath, he said, he learned that it's essential to the flourishing of the human soul.
4:36
SPEAKER_02: Essential to the flourishing of the human soul.
4:39
SPEAKER_02: I mean, that's incredible.
4:40
SPEAKER_02: He said that he learned that um that some people are actually so the people who have been reported to live the longest and are the happiest in the world, they are the ones that quote retreat from the fury and the madness of the modern world.
4:59
SPEAKER_02: So however that Sabbath looks like to them, they are the ones that make sure they escape from modernity.
5:06
SPEAKER_02: I mean, that's I I thought, you know, at that point, I was like, I can do that.
5:11
SPEAKER_02: Like that's something tangible.
5:13
SPEAKER_02: Because a lot of times I'm like, well, what does that mean?
5:15
SPEAKER_02: What does it mean to take a Sabbath?
5:16
SPEAKER_02: Like, what do you mean you're taking that day off?
5:18
SPEAKER_02: Like, are you doing your grocery shopping?
5:21
SPEAKER_02: Are you cleaning your house?
5:22
SPEAKER_02: Like, are you literally just sitting on the couch doing nothing?
5:24
SPEAKER_02: You know?
5:25
SPEAKER_02: But he talks about what that looks like um to him and what he and what he actually does or what he did um in his Sabbath.
5:34
SPEAKER_02: And a lot of it is just escaping from the modern world.
5:38
SPEAKER_02: One of the things he talks about is something we've covered on this topic um screens and the electronics.
5:46
SPEAKER_02: And he brings up the man who wrote the anxious generation and a um quoting the same same statistics about suicide rates increasing among teenagers and whatnot.
5:55
SPEAKER_02: Um, but he takes it a little bit further.
5:57
SPEAKER_02: He talks about how the Sabbath is a living dopamine fast.
6:04
SPEAKER_02: I'd never heard of it that way, that rest, rest is your dopamine fast.
6:09
SPEAKER_02: You know, we talked about on the show before how these electronics, the scrolling, um, you know, the the dinging when you get a message or a notification, they all result in dopamine hits and how that can make you feel good and it's pleasurable.
6:29
SPEAKER_02: But then when the brain tries to rebalance itself, it often overcompensates and you'll go from pleasure to pain.
6:37
SPEAKER_02: And so that that fuels addiction.
6:40
SPEAKER_02: And so what he's saying is that you have to stop at least one day a week and stop living in this perpetual cycle of needing these dopamine hits.
6:51
SPEAKER_02: And instead, you do a fast, you do dopamine fast.
6:54
SPEAKER_02: So there's no electronics, no shopping, no scrolling, 24 or five hours of rejection of the quote pleasure factory.
7:06
SPEAKER_02: And it so even just the way he's shaping that to realize that's what we live in.
7:11
SPEAKER_02: We live in this pleasure factory, that's our modern world of constantly trying to seek out these dopamine hits.
7:19
SPEAKER_01: Um, go ahead.
7:22
SPEAKER_01: Just just so that our um boy, that this such a such a huge topic, and we can go lots of different directions.
7:30
SPEAKER_01: But uh I'm I'm I'm reminded that the the Sabbath, while we say it's not, you know, he he he points out it's not strictly to the religious, um, there's no geological or cosmological reason for a six-day work, for a seven-day week.
7:48
SPEAKER_01: I mean, if we go to the if we go to the moon cycle, there is a reason for a month and there's a reason for a year.
7:54
SPEAKER_01: You know, we we can look at cosmology for that, but there's really no reason for the week.
8:00
SPEAKER_01: The only reason for the week is back to Genesis 1, where God created the heaven and the earth, you know, in six days, and man, and he rested the seventh day, and he and he called it the Sabbath.
8:11
SPEAKER_01: And then, of course, in the Ten Commandments, uh, we are we are um one of those is you know keeping the Sabbath.
8:19
SPEAKER_01: Um keep the Sabbath holy.
8:22
SPEAKER_01: So um, so you know, there is if you if you have a Judeo-Christian perspective, which I do, then this literally predates humanity, if you will.
8:36
SPEAKER_01: The idea of the Sabbath.
8:50
SPEAKER_02: Yes, and I love that you said that because he goes into great detail um documenting that and getting people to understand that the seven-day work week and the day off was created by God, and that actually there's throughout history, like the Soviet Union, for example, under Joseph Stalin, um, you know, and the French Republic under you know, their calendar during the French Revolution, that they tried to undermine Christianity itself by changing the seven-day work week, which I didn't I didn't know that.
9:31
SPEAKER_02: Like they talked about, he talked about how their calendar, um, the workers were forced to labor for nine days before having a break.
9:40
SPEAKER_02: They became fatigued and resentful.
9:42
SPEAKER_02: Families um became fractured because it was an unfamiliar cycle.
9:48
SPEAKER_02: They struggled to maintain social bonds, the rural populations resisted.
9:52
SPEAKER_02: There's underground religious gatherings that proliferated.
9:56
SPEAKER_02: Um, and then um Napoleon quietly abolished that Republican calendar in 1806, going back to the Gregarian calendar with the traditional seven-day week.
10:04
SPEAKER_02: And he talks about a century later, Joseph Stalin in the Soviet Union took a similarly audacious attempt to erase the biblical rhythm of time.
10:13
SPEAKER_02: Um, in 1929, he introduced the Soviet revolutionary calendar.
10:18
SPEAKER_02: And get this, Joel.
10:19
SPEAKER_02: I don't know if you already knew this, but this was new to me.
10:21
SPEAKER_02: Rest days were staggered among the population.
10:24
SPEAKER_02: So the husbands, the wives, and the children often had different days off.
10:29
SPEAKER_02: Oh, he's they said he said it was intentionally designed to prevent social and religious gatherings.
10:34
SPEAKER_02: Stalin's commissioners um or commissars described the reform as necessary to quote eliminate religious influence and maximize industrial output.
10:47
SPEAKER_01: I mean, I I had no idea.
10:49
SPEAKER_01: I I've never I've never heard that either, huh?
10:52
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
10:53
SPEAKER_01: That's amazing.
10:54
SPEAKER_02: Um he said that so Sunday worship was criminalized in practice, if not in law.
11:01
SPEAKER_02: Churches which were already under attack, they lost their temporal anchor.
11:05
SPEAKER_02: The Communist Party's newspaper called Pravada declared, quote, we have no need for priests, we have our machines.
11:12
SPEAKER_02: So when the five-day system proved chaotic and inefficient, it was replaced in 1931 by a six-day week, which also failed.
11:20
SPEAKER_02: And then by 1940, the Soviet Union reluctantly reinstated the traditional seven-day cycle.
11:26
SPEAKER_02: So I mean, this has been you like you said, it you know, this was a rhythm that was established by God, and there's a purpose for it.
11:35
SPEAKER_02: And these um people throughout history know that or knew that.
11:41
SPEAKER_02: And so they consciously tried to disrupt it in order to, you know, in part cause this fracture, fracture from each other and from God.
11:49
SPEAKER_01: And yeah, a lot of people in our country now.
11:52
SPEAKER_01: I mean, I'm old enough to remember when when all stores were closed, they called them blue laws.
11:58
SPEAKER_01: Uh, and um, I mean, I grew up in a very conservative Christian home.
12:02
SPEAKER_01: Dad, dad would dad wouldn't even let us go to a restaurant on Sunday.
12:06
SPEAKER_01: Because he said he said, We're not gonna work on Sunday.
12:08
SPEAKER_01: Why should we make somebody else work on Sunday?
12:11
SPEAKER_02: Oh, wow.
12:12
SPEAKER_02: I didn't even think about that.
12:13
SPEAKER_02: And so you said it.
12:14
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
12:15
SPEAKER_01: And I'll never forget one day when we came home.
12:18
SPEAKER_01: And uh, you know, like so many families, we, you know, mom always fixed a great big Sunday dinner, you know.
12:23
SPEAKER_01: That was because that was her day.
12:25
SPEAKER_01: Her day home from her outside employment was Saturday and Sunday.
12:31
SPEAKER_01: And so, so um, so she uh felt whatever obligated, you know, a woman's obligation to put a big dinner on the table, you know, because she was at home uh for Saturday and Sunday.
12:43
SPEAKER_01: And I can remember like yesterday, I don't know what I might have been nine, ten, eleven, something like that.
12:48
SPEAKER_01: Um, but anyway, dad, dad said uh he looked at us boys and he said, uh, you know, we don't do we don't we don't work on Sunday.
12:58
SPEAKER_01: Why should why should we make mommy?
13:01
SPEAKER_01: He called my mother mommy, you know, uh why should we make her work on Sunday?
13:07
SPEAKER_01: So starting today, no Sunday dinners.
13:11
SPEAKER_01: Ever.
13:12
SPEAKER_01: And he just discontinued them.
13:14
SPEAKER_01: And and and I remember I remember the the um you you you could feel the the obligatory this cultural obligatory thing just come off of mom's shoulders as as he took that off of her shoulders and said, you know, we can just we can just eat eat leftovers on Sunday.
13:43
SPEAKER_01: And and and we have ever since, and when Teresa and I got married, we we continue the same thing because I appreciated it so much.
13:49
SPEAKER_01: I appreciated that honoring the women.
13:53
SPEAKER_01: I mean, again, we're you know, us guys are outside doing chores and milking the cow, do the things outside.
13:59
SPEAKER_01: She's in the house, and it it it it created an egalitarian view toward the Sabbath to say no, because her family always did a great big Sunday dinner too.
14:11
SPEAKER_01: And then there was always you know the dishes, and and it was social.
14:14
SPEAKER_01: It's not, it's it's not bad.
14:17
SPEAKER_01: It's just you know, it's a different thing.
14:20
SPEAKER_01: When I was um when I was in Israel two years ago, uh for 10 days doing some um some ag seminars, um, I spent two nights with a family in Hebron, or near Hebron, uh, which is just near um Bethlehem, actually.
14:38
SPEAKER_01: You could see you could see the village of Bethlehem from their house.
14:41
SPEAKER_01: And um, which anyway, um, so we get there, we got there on a Friday afternoon.
14:49
SPEAKER_01: So we're sitting around talking, chatting.
14:51
SPEAKER_01: They had uh three kids, mom, dad, three kids, and I was there with my host and his brother and me.
14:56
SPEAKER_01: And um, and and we we were not we were not Jews, obviously.
15:01
SPEAKER_01: Um and um so anyway, we're we're sitting there talking and um about a lot of things, and the sun goes down, and suddenly the wife starts and she says, Oh no, my tomatoes.
15:16
SPEAKER_01: Well, it was it was February, which they don't get as cold as we do, but they still get plenty frosty.
15:25
SPEAKER_01: And she had she had taken me out on the balcony to show me proudly her little her tomato, her tomato sets.
15:32
SPEAKER_01: She had, you know, three or four flats of them there of these tomato sets she was gonna put in the garden.
15:36
SPEAKER_01: And um, and they were, you know, they were four or five inches tall, they were doing real well.
15:42
SPEAKER_01: And um, us being there, whatever, interrupting her normal cycle, she forgot about them, and it was gonna get cold and frosty at night, and the sun had set, which meant the Sabbath had started.
15:55
SPEAKER_01: And she's oh no, what am I gonna do?
15:58
SPEAKER_01: And I said, Well, um because she I mean, when when when they recognize the Sabbath, I mean, I mean, it is the Sabbath, and uh, they don't do anything.
16:12
SPEAKER_01: And and of course, they have a bunch of laws.
16:13
SPEAKER_01: And of course, Jesus talked about, you know, them making all these extra laws of the Sabbath extra law.
16:18
SPEAKER_01: I don't want to go into all that.
16:19
SPEAKER_01: But anyway, I was sitting there, I said, well, could a friendly Gentile go out and bring those in for you?
16:25
SPEAKER_01: And she said, Oh yes, that would be that would be uh delightful.
16:29
SPEAKER_01: So I went out and rescued her tomato, her tomato seedlings.
16:33
SPEAKER_01: Um it was just it was just a funny, a funny uh Sabbath story, but um, but you know, I went to went to Shabbat with them and um and which is a service, uh and then we came home and had the the Shabbat feast, you know, which is which is their equivalent of our cultural Sunday dinner, you know.
16:53
SPEAKER_01: And um, and it was it's it's a big deal.
16:56
SPEAKER_01: I mean, I mean it's boy, oh boy.
16:59
SPEAKER_01: And you just uh very social, very uh amazing.
17:04
SPEAKER_01: And then and then and then on the Sabbath, nothing was cooked.
17:09
SPEAKER_01: It was all it was all just leftovers from the from the previous night's Shabbat.
17:14
SPEAKER_01: So before the sun went down, you know, the women spent their time creating this wonderful meal that you ate when you came back from the from the Friday evening service after the sun went down, and then you ate that, and then you slept, you know, you slept in on on uh Saturday morning, which is their Sabbath, and then it goes until Saturday evening uh when the sun goes down.
17:37
SPEAKER_01: So it's from sundown to to sundown, Friday evening to Saturday evening.
17:42
SPEAKER_01: And um and so, you know, uh uh on our farm, we have never we have never worked on a Sunday, um, you know, unless unless there's some catastrophe.
17:54
SPEAKER_01: You know, we're back to, you know, if a if a cow falls in a ditch, we're not gonna walk away from it, we're gonna, you know, get it out.
18:01
SPEAKER_01: So, you know, the and and and even and the Bible talks about that as well.
18:05
SPEAKER_01: Uh, you know, rescuing a lamb that falls off a cliff and things like that.
18:09
SPEAKER_01: Um, you know, you you you go out and you find that.
18:13
SPEAKER_01: But we've never we've never done you know normal work.
18:17
SPEAKER_01: We, you know, we do chores.
18:18
SPEAKER_01: I mean, the cows have got to be milked, and the uh now there are some Amish groups that don't even do that.
18:24
SPEAKER_01: And come Monday morning, that cow's about ready to explode.
18:28
SPEAKER_01: Uh it yeah, I mean, I it can't be healthy for her udder, you know, to to get that tight.
18:33
SPEAKER_01: But anyway, some do, most don't.
18:35
SPEAKER_01: Um, and the one thing that I've done, Cena, all uh uh forever, ever since uh screens came out, is um Saturday night, I shut the computer down and I don't turn it back on until Monday morning.
18:52
SPEAKER_01: And I've done that now for years and years, and uh and just just absolutely you know shut down on that score, and then you're not tempted to answer emails, you're not tempted to, you know, to start uh getting back into your you know your your normal um uh work cycle.
19:10
SPEAKER_01: And um and I just find it a an incredible restful way to um recharge, recuperate, um, and just unplug, you know, unplug from the rat race.
19:26
SPEAKER_01: It's uh it's a big deal.
19:28
SPEAKER_02: I love that.
19:29
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I figured out pretty early on that you don't get on the email on, you know, like all day Sunday for sure.
19:37
SPEAKER_02: Because I remember I used to send you the podcast topics in advance, right?
19:41
SPEAKER_02: Remember, and I was like, well, what do you think about this?
19:43
SPEAKER_02: Because I always wanted you to, you know, let me know, kind of kind of give me your blessing for the topic.
19:48
SPEAKER_02: And I always I figured out that I always had to message you before Sunday.
19:54
SPEAKER_02: Otherwise, if we had a podcast on Monday, there was there's no way you're gonna respond back.
19:59
SPEAKER_02: I just had to fly by seeing my pants.
20:00
SPEAKER_01: So that's right, that's right.
20:02
SPEAKER_01: You never you never get a response from me.
20:04
SPEAKER_01: And and and so I'm used to Monday morning.
20:07
SPEAKER_01: I've got a whole big, you know, but that's you know, that's that starts my that starts my week.
20:12
SPEAKER_01: Then uh it just is what it is.
20:15
SPEAKER_02: You know, he uh so Charlie Kirk was talking about how he he does the same thing.
20:19
SPEAKER_02: That's a big part of that was a big part of his Sabbath was um disconnecting and basically uh so let me tell you what he he was talking about with the Sabbath, what he researched and basically came to the realization of what it means.
20:37
SPEAKER_02: He said that Sabbath literally means to stop or to cease.
20:42
SPEAKER_02: So it means not resting in a passive sense, but an act of full cessation, halting, um, and and having a presence.
20:53
SPEAKER_02: Um so you're literally like abruptly halting your life, that busyness that he talks about for that you know entire 24 or whatever hours.
21:05
SPEAKER_02: Um and like you're saying, one of the big things is um breaking apart from these electronics, um, and in all electronics, um one thing that he did he did quote that I had never seen the statistics before.
21:22
SPEAKER_02: Americans, according to some study, check their phones at least 350 times a day.
21:30
SPEAKER_02: Like that's crazy.
21:32
SPEAKER_02: That's equates to once every two minutes and 43 seconds.
21:37
SPEAKER_02: Like what talk about an addiction, right?
21:39
SPEAKER_02: He calls this the world wind, the whirlwind of digital noise.
21:43
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
21:43
SPEAKER_02: And so if nothing else, you're you know, regardless of he does he would do Sabbath also to connect with God, right?
21:51
SPEAKER_02: The whole biblical purpose of it and called it that holy day.
21:54
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, but I'm saying, even if you're not religious, if nothing else, having this one day.
22:00
SPEAKER_02: to get out of that whirlwind of digital noise to let the nervous system calm down.
22:06
SPEAKER_01: Yeah well I mean what we're talking about here is a is just a a human um I mean it's a human axiom I mean just like just like you need food to eat and you need water to survive you need that rest to to as part of your as part of your health recharge program.
22:28
SPEAKER_02: Yes he gave so there's a whole chapter in here called the Sabbath improves your health and I won't go through all the details here but just to highlight a couple things there's several there's many many studies actually in the scientific literature that have shown that if you just take a day off like truly taking it off you can improve your longevity you can decrease inflammation you can um help your nervous system become rewired um you know it decreases stress or decreases anxiety he talks in here a lot about um the seventh day adventist community and Loma Linda fully acknowledging that it's not aligned with you know what his religion was yeah but there's a lot of studies on them and so one of them is talking about um the from the American Journal of Public Health that the Seventh-day Aventist community um one of the big reasons why they live past 100 or up to 100 is because of this observance of the Sabbath.
23:34
SPEAKER_02: They said every Saturday they have a full 24 hour period where they cease work they disconnect from all the world's demands they devote time to rest they worship they spend time in nature and in time with with in time with family community and that's part of their weekly rhythm uh and and then another another article health psychology found that adventists who took the Sabbath had less inflammation they slept better and they were more resilient against stressful situations.
24:03
SPEAKER_02: So it's one one study after the next goes on and on um and they talked about how it was like 70 oh 77% of US adults report experiencing chronic stress that negatively affects their physical health mental wellbeing and their sleep and a majority of them are burnt out and this is the the interesting thing the World Health Organizar officially classified burnout as an occupational phenomenon driven by unmanaged work stress and digital overload so you can have burnout from digital overload.
24:45
SPEAKER_02: I don't know I'm like oh I actually agree with you on that good job like but um but anyhow so all these health reasons for it and and then he calls it essential to the flourishing of the human soul the flourishing of the human soul and he says he has learned that the Sabbath is the key that unlocks a civil society and a free people it could be the secret answer to restore self-government in America.
25:16
SPEAKER_02: Like that is how important that rest day is okay um I wanted to also mention so to me the big thing is okay I'm convinced right like I already wanted to take a day off wasn't quite sure how to do it didn't really feel good enough to be able to do it.
25:32
SPEAKER_02: Work seems to just be there too much to do but I read the book and I was like okay now I'm convinced right we all know that we should rest.
25:39
SPEAKER_02: So what's stopping us from actually resting so a couple of things to point out from what he said and I want to add to it he says even in our modern democratic society while the Sabbath hasn't been abolished by decree it's being slowly eroded by culture it's eroded because of the 247 consumer economies the digital technology work from home anywhere expectations that's blurred the boundaries of time Sunday has become a day for errands for sports for emails and for binge watching this has all led to burnout spiritual exhaustion fractured families and a profound sense of um restlessness so um one of the things though that is pointed out here which I thought was very important is that I don't think sometimes we understand how difficult it can be for people to get off electronics.
26:38
SPEAKER_02: Okay I want to talk about that and then I want to talk about shame you talked about that there is this deep irony even amongst young people there's a lot of young people nowadays or let me say younger because you know Joel we're still young like so younger people you know in the teens and the 20s where they are realizing that they're becoming kind of slaves to their electronics and oftentimes you'll hear them say you know I do want to get off like I'm realizing it's negatively affecting my friends and I don't feel good about myself when I'm on Facebook all the time and stuff.
27:10
SPEAKER_01: But you know last week Cena um Wall Street Journal which you know I'm a fan of the Wall Street Journal uh it carried a a pretty large article on the 15 minute teen and this is a phenomenon among teens now to take 15 minutes and just sit and meditate.
27:32
SPEAKER_01: Really?
27:33
SPEAKER_01: Yeah yeah and and and and the the so as you can imagine now there are influencers influencers called you know the 15 minute break teens that are that are ministering to Gen Z to young people and saying you know once a day do a 15 minute turn it all off get away from it and um and and they're actually uh I actually somebody actually sent me a um uh a video of one of these I didn't watch it for but but of a girl of a girl that had set her phone up and put on social media her 15 minute bug out and and so you know it's got a timer at the bottom you know it's going you know 10 minutes nine minutes eight minutes seven minutes and you know and and she you know she she moves her head and she moves around stuff but basically she's nothing for 15 minutes and this is this is now you know uh a a a big deal as they um as they try to as they try to uh uh create sanity in this in this completely um screen dominated world wow you know and and you know and there's a there's a there's two colleges in Florida that I know of um saw this in in um I was traveling and picked up a um USA Today in a hotel and uh had a I should have clipped it I should have taken the article out but anyway it was two two colleges in Florida that now have screen free uh social clubs on campus and and and and the students sign a pledge to eliminate um uh I don't remember I don't know how I I think it's it's social media but but basically they're they're eliminating smartphones from their lives and and and to join the club you have to do this and so what does the club do?
29:50
SPEAKER_01: Well it's like Little House on a prairie you know they're doing stuff from way way back where they do mock debates and spelling bees and and bring a poem to share and you know things like that.
30:02
SPEAKER_01: But there's there's two colleges of Florida that that this article is about that that are that have these you know screen free clubs now.
30:08
SPEAKER_01: So you know there's and of course it's easy for me because I'm still are you still flip phone I'm I'm I'm still on my I'm still on my flip phone there it is yeah I love it you're still rocking it old school like you know my my granddaughter so my granddaughter on her christmas list one of her things on her Christmas list is a manual typewriter what a manual typewriter wait how old is she she's um 17 oh my gosh okay so when you said your granddaughter I immediately thought you were gonna say she was gonna ask for a smartphone and you're gonna have a dilemma but that's really incredible she's she's already got a smartphone that no she's had for a long time that horse left the stable a long time ago but uh but a manual typewriter not even not even an electronic typewriter a manual typewriter why does she want that when what's she gonna do with it I don't know but I'm gonna see her this week and I I can't wait to uh I can't wait to to um a tell her how proud I am and B of what in the world is going through your head that you want a manual typewriter.
31:18
SPEAKER_01: I mean I think that's just so I think it's so retro it's the coolest thing in the world.
31:22
SPEAKER_01: But you're gonna give her yours I don't have one I don't I don't have a manual now I learned I learned on a manual typewriter and I so did I that's all we had you're not that old though how you learn on a on a manual typewriter I learned yep I did and so you must have been in a poor school or something.
31:40
SPEAKER_02: Yeah well we didn't have all these computers in the school that I was in in California.
31:44
SPEAKER_02: So yeah I remember I remember writing in um junior high I wrote a report on like seals and stuff and I remember typing it on a typewriter and I didn't have the typewriter that had like you know the function where it would do the whiteout and it would go mine didn't have that.
32:03
SPEAKER_02: So if I made a mistake I had to start all over again.
32:06
SPEAKER_01: Yeah well you could use liquid paper yeah liquid paper did you know the little the little um oh I didn't have that was you thing no I didn't have any of that I was at my dad's house for the weekend you know and that's what he had available so that's what I use to type in this big report that would be terrible oh and I remember being in high school too and in physics I had to write a report on the physics of um swimming different swimming strokes and I I didn't have a computer at that point so again I was on my typewriter doing that report so yeah my grandfather was actually before he passed away at almost a hundred he was actually the oldest living um paper boy in America in the Guinness Book of Records and he yeah and he wrote um columns up until like two years maybe before he passed away and he'd still to that day and this was recently like in the you know the last like five six years he still typed all of his columns on a typewriter wow wow well we in our home we had a manual typewriter uh when I was a little kid and it was because we've been in Venezuela it was a Spanish typewriter so it had the the l y the you know the little accents all this stuff you know upside down exclamation points upside down uh question marks uh for Spanish so I used that you know as a kid um uh you know a Spanish Spanish typewriter and mom you should give one of those to your granddaughter yeah that that would be really cool you know well one in one a French one or something yeah yeah no but that's exciting that's very exciting that there's this momentum you're talking about to uh and that it's coming from influencers their own age right because that's that's what's gonna cause the change um and that's fantastic because like I was saying one of the studies that he cited in here this was kind of a wake up call to me and I see this in myself and in my my own 16 year old that in 2023 there's a study out of university in Michigan it said that 78% of college students they've tried to reduce their screen time okay 78% have tried to reduce their screen time only 12% were able to sustain a change for more than one month.
34:22
SPEAKER_02: That was it they they the researchers described it as a form of you're gonna love this Joel behavioral learned helplessness a condition in which the user despite wanting change becomes resigned to their compulsions young people do care about the change but they've tried and they've failed then they give up and they internalize their dependency it's not um just a private struggle it's actually a collective disorder.
34:52
SPEAKER_01: And it talks about school performance declining attention span shrinking physical activity plummeting instead of developing resiliency and self-mastery these young people are being raised inside devices that train them to chase novelty avoid silence and outsource worth to strangers approval so there's this behavior alert helplessness it's actually like a real thing uh where they just become kind of victims uh of the addictive substance itself you know whenever whenever I uh uh see have a conversation go down this uh pathway Cena I'm reminded of um Aldous Huxley's Brave New World have you ever read I mean it's a classic I haven't read it you haven't read it I hadn't read it either for a long time I finally last year year before I pulled it off the shelf I said I gotta read this thing it's it's too uh it's too iconic not to have you know not to have read it so I read the thing and um and you know what's the the whole of course I'm I'm sure you know the general idea of it but um but the the recurring theme in that in that book this Brave New World where of course every everything is orchestrated by the government and uh you don't have to make any decisions everything's done for you but the whole goal throughout the book the the theme that keeps recurring throughout the book is you're constantly entertained you you you you never you never have to stop and think you never so so the government gives you know we're back to bread and circuses it gives you know the the theater is free and you're always going to a show and you're going with you and and there's everything is activity activity activity activity uh you're you're either at work or you're at entertainment or you're at recreation and of course the you know the hero in the deal the one the the rebel he finally ends up you know buying a an old abandoned light lighthouse on a abandoned shore and goes there and lives by himself and he becomes he becomes a a cultural phenom the media comes to you how do you live what do you you know what do you do what do you do for well I keep a garden and you know and all this stuff and and um and and people just can't believe that somebody could live in isolation like that and be happy uh and fulfilled because all of all of life is about um excitement entertainment and staying busy all the time and um it it really really struck me as I was reading it I just yeah like I said I just I just read it uh a year or so ago and um and it struck me reading it how far down that path we have come with our obsession with screens entertainment recreation I mean you know I mean yeah I do a lot of traveling a lot of airport you know sitting and I just look around I've got my I've got my book you know or I'm something and um and I'm just looking around at everybody on their screens and and and when I sit next to people on the airplane they've always got their their screens with them and I'm assuming you know a guy sitting next to me is dressed you know he looks like he's a business person or something you know and and you figure he's doing something meaningful and they're just they're playing video games you know hours and uh I'm sitting there you know reading a book or or um taking a nap or something.
38:23
SPEAKER_02: Yeah yeah I think there's the several things going on here like you said one of them is just um the this constant need for entertainment it's a constant need of you know to have motion to be doing something and you know in the book he calls that out he says that to setting a day a week aside is hard in a world that's driven by faster, harder more right right those are the things that we're praised for.
38:52
SPEAKER_02: Do it faster do it harder do more right how much can you uh produce and and so he said in here his his challenge for you is this cease for that one day he said cease striving cease earning cease approving cease buying cease selling and cease producing it's he calls it a sanctified protest against the tyranny of constant motion so you are actually protesting against this tyranny of this modern culture that has been created and you know as I was thinking about that I was like okay well what's stopping me like this sounds great right so on a personal note but sounds shameful sounds shameful because you're not accomplishing what you're supposed to accomplish yes yes and so you know I'm I love how you weaved in the shame there Joel.
39:49
SPEAKER_02: Yeah that yes so this led to this great epiphany for me and I'm thinking that probably a lot of people listening will probably relate to this based on responses that they have sent to how do they know they're good enough.
40:05
SPEAKER_02: So this concept of shame ties into perfectionism people pleasing inability to create healthy boundaries burnout resentment um not stepping into your power to like you know like Verne Brown would say like you're not daring greatly you know you're living small um and and it I think it comes from this shame so a lot of people will come to me and say they're they're exhausted right they're overwhelmed and they're exhausted I'm just doing too much.
40:36
SPEAKER_02: But you know I've and I've struggled with this myself too trying to take things off the plate so that you don't feel like you're doing too much and you don't feel like you're exhausted all the time.
40:46
SPEAKER_02: But this is what I've realized it's so hard to do that because we're exhausted in part because we're afraid to stop.
40:55
SPEAKER_02: We're afraid to disappoint afraid to be misunderstood we're afraid to be rejected and I think this comes from shame you know and most of us don't realize that shame is even there.
41:09
SPEAKER_02: So I would always say things like oh I feel guilty you know for not doing such and such I I feel guilty for that guilty for that you know um for example and there's different ways that it shows up for example uh in in our play group I mean this is this is a play group it's not even a a work function right um the I wasn't going to one of the play dates recently and I posted I was like is anybody else coming today nobody else was coming it was super cold so um I didn't go well one girl shows up and she posts to the group hey where is everybody and I felt guilty I was like oh my gosh because this is my group you know like someone showed up no one was there and my girlfriend who's in the group with me happens to be a therapist and I was telling her I feel really guilty even though I know it's not my responsibility I told them I wasn't coming she says to me I think you're confusing guilt with shame and I was like what do you mean and she said I'm telling you Joel this was one of those light bulb moments that's changed everything for me.
42:10
SPEAKER_02: She said guilt says I did something bad shame says I am bad so even now I want to cry.
42:20
SPEAKER_02: So guilt is I did something bad but shame is I am bad guilt is about behavior shame is about your identity so when you feel shame your identity is actually being attacked but sometimes we'll mislabel shame as guilt and so we keep trying to fix ourselves like we apologize more we overexplain ourselves we work higher harder we're trying to be nicer we're trying to be more perfect but it never works it's never enough because we're trying to solve the wrong problem we're trying not to feel guilty but actually what we feel is shame.
42:59
SPEAKER_01: Shame is what whispers to you you're not a you're not enough you're not good enough so don't risk it don't rock the boat right you it's something that you've go ahead yeah well you know Cena and I know you're you you're not finished with this yet but I just can't help but bring in this is the this is what's terrible about um about questioning a person's motive like hate crimes racism uh uh name calling this stuff because that that creates shame it it's one thing to say um you did the wrong thing here it's another thing to say you're a bad person yeah and and and this is this is where things uh you know having been through the whatever the you know the the kind of uh blow up and stuff that I've been through um you you realize how bad it is in the in that there's nothing you can do to fix it.
44:02
SPEAKER_01: You can fix your behavior.
44:05
SPEAKER_01: You can change your behavior.
44:07
SPEAKER_01: But if you're fundamentally bad you you know if you're the wrong skin color or the wrong whatever you know the wrong ethnicity the wrong religion um well I guess you can eliminate your religion but but but yeah there there are a few things that you can do about that.
44:28
SPEAKER_01: And so that's where this this uh wokeness where it's shaming a person for for who they are uh it's bad enough to do the wrong thing but you can't fix being the wrong thing.
44:46
SPEAKER_02: Yeah yeah it's true and I think so many of us are actually driven our behavior is driven by shame but we're not actually realizing it.
44:55
SPEAKER_02: So in my own case for example um I realized that um because I feel like I am bad that if somebody for example in my family is upset like let's say a parent's upset it's it's my fault.
45:15
SPEAKER_02: So I have to now fix it.
45:17
SPEAKER_02: Even if I know logically I didn't do anything wrong right like they caused the problem or whatever I will fall back on oh it's it's my job to fix it.
45:28
SPEAKER_02: And it's almost like this subconscious knee-jerk reaction I got to make I got to fix that.
45:32
SPEAKER_02: I got to make that better you know because I am bad.
45:37
SPEAKER_02: So it it does cause us to um you know cause us to fix other people's problems.
45:43
SPEAKER_02: It it it causes to not actually be able to create a boundary um because we think everything's our fault.
45:50
SPEAKER_02: Like it causes us to oh go ahead.
45:52
SPEAKER_01: Yeah well uh it that just as you were going on there it made me um remember in the um in the New Testament of the Bible when Jesus is being betrayed in the Garden of Eden and he looked uh the Garden of Gethsemane sorry Garden of Gethsemane and he looks at his disciples and he said and he says you will all be offended because of me tonight and every time I've read that it has always struck me Jesus is telling his his disciples you're gonna be offended at me my takeaway is just because you're offended at me does not mean it's my fault.
46:37
SPEAKER_01: The fact that they were offended at what was going to happen to him in the crucifixion that was not Jesus Jesus was not bad because they were offended.
46:47
SPEAKER_01: And so often we have this this thing if somebody says well you offend me we're immediately back we're in shame you know we're we're back in oh you know retreat retreat more retreat no actually um um just because just because you're offended at me does not mean I'm wrong yeah sometimes it's because I told you the truth sometimes it's because I helped you to to see something you don't see um to go through something that I knew you needed to go through yes I totally agree and that's one thing that in this journey that I've been going through down this shame road is that I'm learning that um so I don't have to take responsibility for that like we're all just hurt human beings trying to make it through the day without feeling shame right without feeling unworthy.
47:45
SPEAKER_02: Yeah yeah so you can kind of understand more of their perspective but um sometimes sometimes they're they get hurt I mean it's not because of who you are necessarily it's because of who they are and what they are carrying around with them and what they're trying to avoid.
48:00
SPEAKER_01: And so well they they were they were offended because they expected they expected Jesus to go sit on the throne and make them the right hand and the left hand and rule the rule the nations right then in a physical in a physical kingdom and and so they had their perceptions and expectations of of what the next act two was going to be and it wasn't act two and I'm offended that I didn't get act two.
48:26
SPEAKER_02: Oh my goodness I love what you're saying here because literally one of my bullet points is that it's misplaced expectations so so let's go into that a little bit so um so so in women just to kind of ground this a little bit in women shame often presents itself as I need to do it all I need to do it perfectly and I need to never let them see me sweat.
48:52
SPEAKER_02: And in men shame usually can often show up as I need to be strong um I don't need any help I need to be successful and stoic and not show any vulnerability okay for both genders though shame I believe is driven by these unobtainable conflicting expectations of who we are and like who we're supposed to be and that actually keeps keeps you in a in a in a straitjacket.
49:20
SPEAKER_02: So these are the this is where the expectations come in like you were just talking about I don't think any of us are born believing that we have to be perfect, that we have to be agreeable all the time or easy to love in order to be to belong right we've learned that.
49:35
SPEAKER_02: So shame is something that we've learned in relationship and we didn't develop it in a vacuum.
49:41
SPEAKER_02: Many of us I think learned it as children through expectations and criticisms of through conditional love, being misunderstood.
49:50
SPEAKER_02: Many of us were actually shame for not being who someone else wanted us to be so yeah like myself for example I I chose to accept those expectations and perpetuate them right until to this day.
50:04
SPEAKER_02: But I first learned them from elders by being in relationships.
50:09
SPEAKER_02: And as you grow you learn them from peers as well.
50:12
SPEAKER_02: And and that realization matters because it shifts shame from hey what's wrong with me like I'm bad to what happened to me.
50:21
SPEAKER_02: So not to be in a victim space but to realize that you weren't born like this at least I don't think so something happened and now you can identify with that and you can change your story.
50:33
SPEAKER_02: So we all have misplaced misplaced expectations of other people to some degree right we expect them to be a certain way.
50:41
SPEAKER_02: And when they aren't sometimes we can get upset with them and that can sometimes turn into shame.
50:47
SPEAKER_02: We shame them for that I mean I did this with my dad I wanted him to be a certain way as a father and when he wasn't I would get upset and kind of hold it against him like I would hold a grudge against him.
50:58
SPEAKER_02: I've done this with my kids before I realized it that I expected them to be a certain way to do certain things certain ways.
51:06
SPEAKER_02: And so I would shame a judge judge them and unknowingly I would shame them sometimes.
51:14
SPEAKER_02: When we expect people to be a certain way and then we get upset that they're not and we punish them emotionally when we are disappointed in them we're not loving and accepting them for who they are.
51:28
SPEAKER_02: We're trying to change them and we are in essence projecting who we want to be onto them that's a huge burden for someone else to carry and it's a burden for you too for both people in that relationship and that projection onto others of these misplaced expectations can fuel per perfectionism and people pleasing and others.
51:52
SPEAKER_02: I mean um so there are two sentences that really changed my life and then I want to talk about the nervous system part of this two of the most impactful sentences I'd ever heard were from Louise Hay.
52:07
SPEAKER_02: She said I forgive you for not being the way I wanted you to be I forgive you and I set you free.
52:15
SPEAKER_02: I think that is so powerful to realize because you realize also your responsibility in that situation right anytime you have some conflict for with somebody I would say I think the majority of the time there's a misplaced expectation that has occurred.
52:32
SPEAKER_02: And so you can forgive that person for not being the way that you want them to be but then you can also forgive yourself for not being the way that you wanted yourself to be right and that's the antidote to shame it's empathy right and those two sentences can get you to empathy um so this is where there's also this role of the nervous system that becomes apparent and and this is also where Sabbath or a day of rest comes into play because the nerve the Sabbath is one way that you can help to rewire your nervous system to let it rest.
53:12
SPEAKER_02: So shame shame doesn't just live in our thoughts it lives in our bodies it's actually what I figured out is it's a nervous system state.
53:21
SPEAKER_02: So it's not this personality flaw it's actually a nervous system state when shame shows up your body is asking one question Am I safe right now?
53:34
SPEAKER_02: That's really all it is am I safe?
53:36
SPEAKER_02: And for for women especially those who learned early on that love is conditional, the nervous system made a bargain it said okay if I'm good if I'm agreeable if I'm helpful if I'm perfect I can stay connected if I upset somebody I risk abandonment.
53:55
SPEAKER_02: So you don't tell the person oh you hurt me instead you ask yourself what did I do wrong?
54:01
SPEAKER_02: Because if I can fix this they won't leave me they won't get mad they won't pull away like I won't lose my community for men I think the bargaining often sounds more something like this if I'm strong, capable and in control, I stay respected.
54:17
SPEAKER_02: And if I show weakness or need, I risk being shamed.
54:23
SPEAKER_02: And so I hope I'm not going through this too fast because to me this is this is life changing.
54:28
SPEAKER_02: Yeah absolutely absolutely both of them are different bargaining strategies amongst the genders but it's the same fear that's connected that that's connecting the two of them the bargain gets wired into your autonomic nervous system.
54:43
SPEAKER_02: And depending on what what felt safe early on the body will default to different survival strategies.
54:51
SPEAKER_02: So this is where we get you know Joel we've talked about on this program a lot that majority of us spend at least 70% of our day in fight or flight, right?
55:01
SPEAKER_02: Well there's and part of that comes I think a large part of this for many of us comes from this we're trying to avoid the shame.
55:08
SPEAKER_02: So here's some different survival strategies that we have come up with in God's infinite wisdom of how he designed our bodies there's fight flight fawn and freeze.
55:20
SPEAKER_02: So shame will present itself in fight as overexplaining to regain your power or to regain respect defending yourself trying to fix it trying to control it arguing with something trying to prove that you were right because if you lose control you lose respect the flight component looks more like anxiety.
55:41
SPEAKER_02: Have you ever been around those people that they're just constantly anxious they just can't stop being anxious.
55:46
SPEAKER_02: They they have rumination thoughts race through their mind like a hamster over and over um an urgency to escape um uncomfortable situations or to resolve things quickly like does it matter we just need to get it done right now.
56:02
SPEAKER_02: They the feeling there is more if it doesn't resolve quickly, I'm going to drown in this.
56:07
SPEAKER_02: So I have to end it.
56:08
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
56:09
SPEAKER_02: The Fawn response is the people pleasing response.
56:13
SPEAKER_02: So fawn um you know like I'm taking on self-blame I'm gonna just go ahead and apologize.
56:20
SPEAKER_02: I'm gonna fix anything I can to preserve the connection and so you do become this people pleaser always and so you have no boundaries.
56:28
SPEAKER_02: Everything is what you can do for somebody else you know and and you're last the freeze is the shutdown state this is where somebody will pull away they'll go quiet they'll emotionally check out and the thinking is if I stay present I'm gonna be overwhelmed.
56:43
SPEAKER_02: So the nervous system chooses the response that once kept it safe when it was younger.
56:51
SPEAKER_02: But in general all these responses are responding to the same threat, the same fear of loss of connection, safety and belonging.
56:58
SPEAKER_02: So it's a it's a protective reflex is what I'm trying to say.
57:03
SPEAKER_02: The nervous system learned I can't afford to let people be upset with me.
57:08
SPEAKER_02: So it mobilizes very fast.
57:11
SPEAKER_02: And this is one reason why we get into this whole thing where we just start as a reflex yes I'll do that.
57:16
SPEAKER_02: Oh, you need help with that?
57:18
SPEAKER_02: I'll do that.
57:18
SPEAKER_02: And we can't stop and pause and think for a minute is that good for my family?
57:24
SPEAKER_02: Do I have time to do that?
57:25
SPEAKER_02: No, because this is a nervous system reflex and it's born out of being blamed, judged, shamed and the fear of abandonment.
57:34
SPEAKER_02: So um to me I think of this as emotional risk management.
57:41
SPEAKER_02: So it's like the emotional equivalent of um like when the guest when a house guest is going to arrive, I'm like, oh let's clean up the entire house all the dust in the house even if I didn't create the dust myself it has to be all cleaned up because I'm terrified that someone will think that it's mine.
57:58
SPEAKER_02: Right.
57:59
SPEAKER_02: And so that's an example of what emotional risk management would be.
58:04
SPEAKER_02: And it works for a while right but it but what that means is eventually you don't have um intimacy and resentment grows you're not authentic and you you're not really connected to much of anything um and it leads us with this inability circling back around to rest to actually stop you know part of that is that we just we're not good enough and what if someone looks at us and sees that I'm lazy I'm just sitting there doing nothing or so this other thing is expected of me how can I stop and actually connect with community or with God um because there's all these things to do and somebody might look at me differently and I will feel shame and then it's gonna it's gonna trigger this nervous system response.
58:59
SPEAKER_01: It wasn't too much it it it it I think it I think the flow here of moving from the Sabbath to shame is profound because if there's one thing that a hurdle you have to overcome to keep a Sabbath it is that I don't have to prove anything today.
59:30
SPEAKER_01: And and and that is not something that is culturally acceptable much today.
59:37
SPEAKER_01: Every day you've got to you know you've got to prove your worth prove your worth prove your worth and the thought that you know I I left my worth yesterday and today I'm just gonna I'm just gonna um be present uh seems like a whatever a cop out of responsibility a cop out of purpose a cop out of drive I mean that's the that's the stuff that our you know that our our our culture you know I call it the little demon on the shoulder you know whispers in your ear and um and so I I think I I think it's profound that you've chosen to to to tie these two together and um and it reminds me of a conversation I had with a farmer um one day it was Saturday we were we just gotten some cows in and I just looked at him and I said man I am so glad tomorrow's Sunday it'd been a hard week you know we put in a lot and and and I'm so glad tomorrow's Sunday he looked at me and he said I've never been glad tomorrow's Sunday and I thought man that's sad you know because he he was he was already thinking about what he had to do tomorrow and I'm I'm already looking Saturday you know I'm already looking at oh I get to rest tomorrow you know and um and that's a but that's the that's the that's the temptation that's the cultural uh imperative temptation that's um that that's put upon us well yeah it is and I'll and I know we're about out of time so I'll just wrap it up with this um so this I don't think I mean God always has his perfect timing.
1:01:28
SPEAKER_02: Yeah so it was meant to be that this book came to me at the same time that my friend said that comment about that's not guilt, that's shame, right?
1:01:37
SPEAKER_02: And one thing so I'm gonna tie these two things together.
1:01:41
SPEAKER_02: One thing that's helped me with the shame aspect so that I can try to start resting is that when something happens someone says something, posts something or whatever, my kids say something to me, then I now pause just for a moment I mean because all you need is that fraction of a second to pause and I immediately ask myself um I'll say to myself something like okay this is my nervous system trying to protect me you know because I have to boil it down to that like if you take away the emotional part and you say okay this is a biological process this is my nervous system trying to protect me I'm feeling an urge to fix this.
1:02:21
SPEAKER_02: I'm feeling an urge to defend this whatever it is that it is call it out for what it is and I say it out loud.
1:02:28
SPEAKER_02: I feel the urge right now to fix this.
1:02:30
SPEAKER_02: And then then I ask myself is this my responsibility like is this coming from shame so I literally am like my own therapist and I'm saying it out loud you know you can talk I mean I'm kind of like talking to God about it, you know, and I'm asking I'm asking I'm walking myself through it and it's surprisingly easy to identify when you're acting out of shame like that's that's still one of the silver linings for this this has been so much easier than I thought you can just fracture the moment pause and ask, you know, oh say call it out this is what I'm doing.
1:03:05
SPEAKER_02: Is this why I'm doing it you know and ask God to help you see it.
1:03:09
SPEAKER_02: Um so so that gives me the the starting point where I can say you know what I don't have to go 247.
1:03:17
SPEAKER_02: I can put this down and then something in the book that he said at the beginning um really helped me he said you were not made to live at the speed of your notifications you were made to know God to walk with him to delight in the world that he made and to rest in his sufficiency and so me I thought I am good enough because God is enough.
1:03:45
SPEAKER_01: Yeah right and I can rest in that yeah that is exactly right wow that's really good but you know um on a on a uh end on a light note my my uh Teresa's grandmother used to always have the saying if you uh whatever you sew on Sunday uh you're gonna pull it out with your nose on Monday in in other words it it doesn't pay to just push push push on a Sunday you know you're gonna you're gonna it it you're gonna end up you know uh oh redoing it undoing it whatever so I think I think for our question for this week we should just ask uh our our folks you know what's your situation with the Sabbath do you um do you keep it do you you have any special you know traditions or things that you do and um just talk to us a little bit about about your Sabbath or lack of it and um I think it'd be I think it'd be great to to just let people you've got a safe place here and um and there's no judgment but uh sometimes putting some thoughts in writing um can help to solidify them you know where we are in our in our own thinking and get us uh a little bit farther than we than we think we would be otherwise.
1:05:06
SPEAKER_01: Okay everybody thanks for listening with us sharing with us fellowshipping with us here on another Beyond Labels podcast and we look forward to sharing with you again next week