Latest / Tea Time w/Amie & Bev / Episode #172: Empowering Children-Cultivating Self-love, Confidence and Intuition

Transcript

Episode #172: Empowering Children-Cultivating Self-love, Confidence and Intuition · Tea Time w/Amie & Bev

• 0:02
  Hi, Welcome to tea Time with Amy and Bev. Good morning, sister,
• 0:06
  Good morning. How's your day going today? My day is good.
• 0:12
  Woke up and a deep sleep to an alarm. So I did not want
• 0:16
  to get up, but I did. I got up, went to the
• 0:18
  gym, and so here we are, like I have to have a nap
• 0:25
  leader. I understand that. That's kind of how I was feeling yesterday.
• 0:30
  Actually it was interesting because I got up and it's like I haven't been getting
• 0:36
  my giving myself much slack. I haven't really had any days off because I've
• 0:40
  been doing a group thing or going to your bridal showers and this week and
• 0:43
  I've got work and then I've got a baby shower for my grandson. Is
• 0:47
  awesome, but all these things going on, But it's what's that being said,
• 0:50
  I'm not getting time for myself and because I have my grandkids Monday,
• 0:56
  Tuesday and Friday right now, which I I totally love and appreciate, but
• 1:00
  we at some point we've got to take the time for ourselves. We have
• 1:03
  to listen. And yesterday it was like I was going to go to the
• 1:06
  gym, and I had intentions because I was going to pick up my granddaughter
• 1:10
  and it's like I'm skipping the gym. I couldn't feel like I had to
• 1:14
  do anything at all. The I've been having myself and we've kind of discussed
• 1:19
  it, having myself in a space of like I feel like I'm constantly having
• 1:22
  to do something and that's distraction. And if people will recognize that, I'm
• 1:26
  saying this for myself too, it's distracting. It's distracting you from being in
• 1:30
  the now. It's distracting you from receiving the message that you want to receive
• 1:34
  or messages. It's distracting you from life where you're not appreciating the things that
• 1:38
  you could appreciate it because they're being it distracted by these things. And our
• 1:41
  mind does the same thing. We get our mind going crazy and we can
• 1:45
  we can let it go off on a tangent somewhere, but that's just distraction
• 1:48
  too, and how can we get back to center. It's whatever works for
• 1:51
  you, So I find different ways. And we've talked about even recently because
• 1:55
  I had seen you scribbling on paper that I came home and scribbled on paper,
• 2:00
  and that's I've seen that done in order for others to connect to spirit,
• 2:02
  or whatever. But for me, it kind of settles my mind.
• 2:06
  So it's kind of like a meditation for me in a lot of ways.
• 2:08
  And for me, it's got to be a pencil because I've got it that
• 2:13
  the lead. It's like you've become one with the pencil and the lead.
• 2:16
  The way that hits the paper, the sound is totally different. It's it
• 2:20
  really connects with me. And I found that interesting because I've seen a few
• 2:23
  people doing that, but it's like it doesn't matter. I'm in the bathroom
• 2:25
  getting ready. I'm like, gosh, why am I film like this?
• 2:28
  And the first thing that I saw was scribbling on piece of paper, is
• 2:30
  like that could that could take it care of it right now. I don't
• 2:32
  even have to spend five minutes doing it or anything. It's just taken that
• 2:37
  time and then finding when I have the downtimes or whatever, just to do
• 2:40
  it anyways, because it helps me. It's keeping me present and not that
• 2:45
  I'm not listening, because it's it's a I don't know, it's just weird.
• 2:49
  It's like it opens up another way where you're listening, you're you're experiencing
• 2:53
  more things at one time. I guess, yeah, well, I'm just
• 2:59
  gonna say I didn't sleep good Sunday night either, and didn't get much sleep,
• 3:06
  and I woke up Monday and I was like, there's a freaking new
• 3:09
  moon coming. Is the moon the new moon energies here? I mean the
• 3:13
  new moon's tomorrow. And I'm just like, okay, And now I got
• 3:15
  that piece. And I did take a nappy yesterday because I was exhausted,
• 3:23
  and then today waking up in that deep sleep. But yeah, just giving
• 3:28
  yourself permission, I mean it's huge. And even if if you need to
• 3:30
  hear us say give yourself permission. I know for myself in my life there
• 3:35
  were things that I needed other people to tell me it was okay. Yeah,
• 3:40
  And we forget because when we were a little we needed permission from the
• 3:49
  adults around us who were in authority, and as adults, were still living
• 3:53
  from that space and we're looking outside of us for permission to do things.
• 3:59
  And once you start learning or start practicing that when you give yourself permission to
• 4:03
  do something, give yourself permission to have a nap, or even if you're
• 4:09
  call in sick to work, I mean, what are you going to do
• 4:15
  or what is necessary for you in the moment to give yourself permission because you're
• 4:19
  the one that has to do it. Don't wait for somebody outside of you
• 4:23
  to do that. My permission was about beliefs, giving myself permission, not
• 4:30
  giving myself permission, but hearing somebody tell me, well, your beliefs could
• 4:35
  change and you can change them and it's okay. Like they had to say
• 4:40
  those words, and I'm like wait what. So that was kind of my
• 4:45
  first where it really sunk into me that it's okay. I'm an adult,
• 4:53
  I can make I can make these choices and it's okay. I don't need
• 4:56
  to wait for somebody else to tell me it's okay. So and it's true.
• 5:00
  It's important. So it's true. It is true to trust, to
• 5:03
  trust ourselves. The one thing that I that flashed in my mind is I
• 5:09
  remember my mom when I was a teenager, crying because she had to go
• 5:12
  to work. You know, I'm making herself do it, and then finding
• 5:15
  myself doing the same thing because because she was a single mom for a long
• 5:18
  time and she worked three different jobs, she was on the hustle. Right
• 5:21
  she were in a small town. There's a lot more here there now than
• 5:27
  there was, but it's like she was doing the best she could, of
• 5:29
  course and single. She was single with two daughters, so she was doing
• 5:32
  all that stuff. And then even once she had gotten remarried, it was
• 5:38
  still she was crying to go to work because she was forcing herself to go
• 5:43
  to someplace that she didn't want to go. And it's like that can open
• 5:46
  up so many I want to say, a can of worms in a lot
• 5:49
  of ways, because if we look back, we kind of made ourselves do
• 5:54
  things that we because we didn't want to do them, and but we were
• 5:58
  being told that that's what we were supposed to do in instead of trusting in
• 6:02
  the process for ourselves, trusting and knowing what's good for ourselves because people always
• 6:08
  have advice, but we've got to trust to know what's good for us.
• 6:10
  And even and at that time when we're younger, we don't really have that
• 6:13
  opportunity to kind of buck against the system. Otherwise you're the black sheep or
• 6:16
  you're the you know what I mean, You're being disobedient and you're creating more
• 6:19
  havoc for the whole family. But at the same time, each individuals is
• 6:25
  like trying to fight against that push, like don't push me, don't try
• 6:27
  to stifle me, don't try to control me, all these things. And
• 6:30
  when we're in that space of not wanting those things, we experience more of
• 6:33
  those things. So because we start pushing against those things. But it's just
• 6:39
  interesting that you kind of you kind of tapped into that a little bit because
• 6:44
  I could just like I said, I could see my mom and forcing herself
• 6:46
  to go do stuff. And it's like yesterday I had that moment that I
• 6:51
  you know, it's it's when I made that decision, like I'm I'm not
• 6:55
  I'm just not going to the gym today. I felt emotional about that decision
• 6:59
  because because I was honoring myself instead of just making myself go do something because
• 7:03
  this is what I think that I have to do. And that's just the
• 7:08
  tip of the iceberg, right, the minds, The minds goes. You
• 7:12
  keep yourself busy with different things, and then you've got so many different people
• 7:15
  that are in your experience and they've got ideas and they want things to be
• 7:19
  a certain way and they think this, it should be this way or whatever
• 7:24
  is. But it's like it's we've got to honor ourselves. We've got to
• 7:27
  listen to what what our guidance is, because when we start looking outside of
• 7:31
  ourselves so much, we lose our compass again. We start getting lost again,
• 7:34
  just like a child in so many ways, because we were told,
• 7:36
  oh, well, you have to go to school. I have yet to.
• 7:40
  Now my grandkids will say they like school. There's aspects of school that
• 7:44
  they like. I don't think that they like the length of time that they're
• 7:46
  in school. And I don't agree with the length of time they're in school
• 7:48
  either. I don't agree with the time that we have for employees to work,
• 7:55
  like an eight or ten or twelve hour shift, sometimes even more of
• 7:58
  that than that. But this is these are my opinions, right, so
• 8:03
  each person has to listen to their own what's what's working out for their process.
• 8:07
  But I'm just kind of bringing up some of this stuff because this is
• 8:11
  some of the struggles that I've noticed. I was I was doing great,
• 8:15
  like we always feel like we're doing great, We're on top of the world,
• 8:16
  and then all of a sudden, something something kind of changes a little
• 8:22
  bit. Maybe it's the planets. Maybe it is because in the New Movies,
• 8:24
  you brought up not being able to sleep lately, and it's like,
• 8:26
  well, for probably the last week and a half, I've been waking up
• 8:30
  in the middle of the night, and I hadn't been there. I had
• 8:31
  a period of rest for a while there. So I don't because I don't
• 8:35
  follow all the planets and all that stuff. I do listen to some of
• 8:37
  the information that comes through from these people that do. And I understand just
• 8:43
  a second because some puppies in the background having a moment. It's all good.
• 8:52
  They were voicing their opinions about the whole situation. We don't like working
• 8:56
  that long either. Yeah, I don't even know who's I haven't seen any
• 9:01
  drive anybody drive by, so it's probably a I mean it could be deer
• 9:05
  cow or whatever, so or a car. There's vehicles that go buy out
• 9:09
  here. We don't have anybody around, whether there's properties for sales, so
• 9:13
  it's hard to say. Yeah. So, yeah, I hear because my
• 9:20
  mom she did She did that too. I mean she worked a lot of
• 9:24
  hours. One of her jobs she worked at night. She'd worked night hours,
• 9:30
  so I hardly ever saw her. She you know, she'd come home
• 9:33
  and go to bed, and I'm going getting up and going to school,
• 9:37
  so and then get home from school and then hers she's off to work.
• 9:41
  So it was so, you know, our parents doing the best they knew
• 9:48
  how to do with the information knowledge they had, doing what they could to
• 9:52
  in their survival mood, taking care of the kids. Also, they all
• 9:56
  had their own baggage too, of wanting the approval of their parents, wanting
• 10:00
  the love and acceptance, and they're living up to their and not good enough
• 10:03
  story and and just recognizing, I mean, that's part of It's gonna be
• 10:15
  a whole nother tangent. We don't need to go there. Direction. I
• 10:18
  just want to make mention of it, is that, you know, if
• 10:20
  you choose to do a forgiveness process, keep all that in mind. Your
• 10:24
  parents had their own stuff, and then they had to raise some kids and
• 10:28
  so and we all, I mean, and none of us had a book
• 10:33
  telling us exactly because all the kids are different, right and none of us
• 10:37
  are the same, and and and nothing telling us how to handle every single
• 10:41
  situation that came up. We're just we're just doing it the best we know
• 10:45
  how. And so, you know, make sure you give your parents.
• 10:50
  I know there's some tough childhoods out there, and I get it, and
• 10:54
  I hear you and I know and and I my heart you know was filled
• 10:58
  with love for you and your parents were doing the best they knew how at
• 11:05
  that time. So give them a little bit of ease and grace as much
• 11:09
  as you can and then just grow from there. And each time and you
• 11:13
  know, you come back to it there there might be a little bit more
• 11:18
  ease in the process. So and that just it kind of takes me in.
• 11:24
  And you notice, because we've already talked about it this past week,
• 11:28
  is kids, Like, it's so heavy on my heart right now. And
• 11:37
  it's more so it's not the kids, it's parents. So really it's about
• 11:45
  the kids, but it's targeted towards the parents. That my suggestion, I'm
• 11:56
  trying to figure out how to articulate this. My suggestion is to empower your
• 12:03
  children. Empower your children well with self love, with self confidence, with
• 12:09
  a good self esteem, with with all the tools right that if somebody says
• 12:13
  something to them or doesn't include them in something, or causes some kind of
• 12:20
  you know, discord or resistance in a conversation, that your parents that your
• 12:24
  child is standing strong enough in their self confidence, in their self love that
• 12:30
  that it's not it's not gonna impact them as harshly. Maybe it might,
• 12:37
  you know, hurt their feelings a little, but they're gonna it's gonna be
• 12:39
  easy for it to just them, for them to move through it, because
• 12:43
  they're standing in their own power within themselves. And I understand that you can't
• 12:54
  teach what you don't know. So our mothers, our parents, our grandparents
• 12:58
  couldn't teach us self love and empower us with the self confidence. Like my
• 13:05
  mom didn't have self confidence and she had a low self esteem, so how
• 13:07
  could she teach that to me? So I grew up with low self confidence,
• 13:13
  a low self esteem, being introverted. I had to learn extroverted qualities.
• 13:18
  I had to learn to be able to use my voice. I had
• 13:22
  to learn to have conversations with people because I'm the person that sits and observes.
• 13:30
  I listen and observe and I don't engage until I feel totally comfortable with
• 13:35
  you. That's an introverted lifestyle, like we don't. And I was called
• 13:41
  a bitch for so many reasons because I didn't speak like I would just sit
• 13:46
  there and listen. And so parents learn how to empower your children, and
• 13:58
  it's standing in that self love for yourself as a parent learning those tools,
• 14:01
  because when you're learning it for your children, you're going to learn it,
• 14:05
  and when you learn it for yourself, there's benefit for all. And I
• 14:11
  know that many parents would say, I don't have time, it's too hard,
• 14:20
  all the stories, all the stuff, But really I think the underlying
• 14:26
  story is I'm good the way I am. There's nothing wrong with me,
• 14:33
  which probably true story. I'm not going to disagree with that, because you
• 14:37
  are. You're perfect just the way you are, and we can do and
• 14:41
  be better and the way we can do and be better, be and do
• 14:45
  better within ourselves so we can teach our children to do the same and then
• 14:50
  they can grow from that to be and do better within themselves, whatever that
• 14:52
  looks like. So I just needed to put that out there. If you
• 14:58
  want to have a conversation and about it, I'm game. I just you
• 15:03
  know, I want parents to understand that when your child comes home and is
• 15:09
  feeling bad, sad, depressed because they weren't loved and accepted by the kids
• 15:15
  at school, and the finger is being pointed at those children that they were
• 15:20
  rude, they said mean things, they didn't include my child, You're given
• 15:26
  you're given this like eight, seven, ten, twelve year old power over
• 15:33
  you and your child because you're saying, because they did this, we feel
• 15:39
  this way. Well, nobody can make you feel this way. And your
• 15:45
  child learned it from somewhere, So the significant adults in their life, they
• 15:50
  learned that the people outside of them have to act and be a certain way
• 15:56
  in order for us as a parent and the child to feel good. And
• 16:03
  that's absolutely not true. And even as an adult, it is absolutely not
• 16:07
  true. It doesn't matter how your boss acts. It doesn't matter how your
• 16:11
  co workers are, it doesn't matter how your parents are, doesn't matter how
• 16:14
  your your friends are acting. It doesn't matter how the the grocery store clerks
• 16:19
  acting. Doesn't matter if you're standing strong in your self love and you're having
• 16:26
  an absolutely amazing day and people outside of you are just rude and disgruntled.
• 16:36
  If you're standing in your own power, that's not that's not going to matter
• 16:40
  to you. It's you're gonna observe it. You might notice it be like,
• 16:42
  hmm, they're having a bad day. I'm gonna keep going on about
• 16:45
  my day and keep having a good day. Teach your children that. Teach
• 16:52
  your children that that when you're blaming these other children for the way your child
• 16:56
  is feeling, you're saying it's their fault and they have the power and control
• 17:03
  over my child. And when you're doing it as the parent, you're also
• 17:07
  saying that that child has power and control over you. So we got to
• 17:11
  change that narrative. We got to change that belief system. We got to
• 17:14
  change change something to empower yourself so you can teach your children to be empowered.
• 17:23
  And there are plenty of tools. So I tell you what I had
• 17:26
  somebody post. This is why it's heavy on my heart because somebody posted it
• 17:30
  on Facebook about their child, the whole thing that I just talked about,
• 17:36
  and I made a comment, and this is the way I see it.
• 17:45
  It was when you ask, just like what Bev and I've been talking about
• 17:52
  for like over a year now, when you ask for guidance, when you're
• 17:57
  asking for information and to help you move through something. When you're asking like
• 18:03
  it is delivered and like two days later, because I've been thinking about this,
• 18:08
  this social media post and I was thinking about it, and I'm like,
• 18:12
  okay, Universe, we need some guidance here. There's there's gotta be
• 18:18
  tools and information that's gonna help parents help their children. Bam, I go
• 18:26
  on YouTube. I'm not even I'm looking for I wasn't well. I was
• 18:30
  kind of searching for something else. But what shows up doctor Joe Daspenza talking
• 18:36
  about raising children. What did I do? Damn? I shared it with
• 18:40
  this lady who made the social media post. Then I go on to social
• 18:45
  media and I'm just scrolling through my feed and bam, there's somebody with a
• 18:52
  masterclass about how to help your children with anxiety. What did I do?
• 18:56
  I shared it with that lady. Scrolled a little bit further, there's another
• 19:00
  one shared it with that lady. I'm doing my part, like I'm sharing
• 19:04
  the information with what's coming to me. What she does with it's our business.
• 19:11
  I'm not in control of that. But what I'm saying is that there
• 19:14
  are lots and lots and lots and lots of tools that people are out there
• 19:18
  teaching and guiding and coaching, and you have to utilize the information that is
• 19:26
  being empowered. Being a victim to your circumstances is saying it's their fault.
• 19:32
  They did this to me, they did this to my child. We want
• 19:34
  it, we gotta get out of that story. I'm just in all aspects
• 19:40
  of our lives. We got to get out of that story. I'm I'm
• 19:44
  just like even for myself, like I'm just I'm over it, like I'm
• 19:48
  done. Like let's move on past this conversation. So, okay, do
• 19:56
  you I mean input battery just like she's like, I just I can have
• 20:00
  some input. I was just thinking about some of the stuff, and it
• 20:03
  is to empower the kids, and it's also to recognize some of the stuff
• 20:06
  shows up for us, which can see sound kind of harsh, but some
• 20:08
  of it shows up for us to see, I want to be different than
• 20:11
  this. I don't want to treat someone else the way this person's treating me.
• 20:15
  So we have an experience and we don't and we can meet the victim
• 20:18
  and hold on to that experience, or we can be empowered by that experience
• 20:22
  and then step into that space of I don't want to treat someone else that
• 20:26
  way, and then the next time that person has a response to you that
• 20:30
  way, the way that we handle something with someone else that's in that space
• 20:34
  when they're dishing out stuff like that, they're coming from our hurt place.
• 20:38
  And then we could we could respond to that so differently by looking at the
• 20:42
  person and then really listening to what they said and thank you. I hear
• 20:48
  what you're saying. And then that's it, and it's like you're just you
• 20:51
  just kicked out the angry stick that's been holding them up, supporting them for
• 20:55
  them to be like, wait a minute, this has strew me off balance.
• 20:56
  So it gives them an opportunity for their growth. You know, I'm
• 21:02
  just using it as an example because I wasn't there in the experience. If
• 21:04
  I was there in the experience, it'd be different. Did I have responses
• 21:08
  such as that when my kids were grown up, Yes, I did,
• 21:11
  because I grew up with what my parents did. It was the best they
• 21:15
  could do. My kids grew up with the best that I could do.
• 21:18
  But since then, and this is an individual basis, you kind of get
• 21:22
  tired of being that way. And I'll tell you, I'm a totally different
• 21:26
  grandma because someone was different to me. No, I don't remember anybody playing
• 21:30
  with me as a kid. I don't remember any of that stuff besides my
• 21:33
  cousins, my sister. I remember playing with my brother. I never had
• 21:37
  adults playing with me or giving me that kind of attention. I don't even
• 21:41
  remember exactly my grandfather's grooming, but I know there had to be grooming because
• 21:47
  that was at tension. It was at tension, and then it made it
• 21:49
  things acceptable. But when I hear all that stuff, it's like, there's
• 21:53
  we have an opportunity to change this. We don't have to stay in this
• 21:56
  space. Otherwise we're just kind of encouraging the stame behavior if it's going on
• 22:02
  worldwide, and then you've got people that feel like they're being victimized when I
• 22:06
  don't care. If people want to wear whatever clothes they want to wear,
• 22:08
  and it's like, if you're standing in your truth and you want to wear
• 22:11
  whatever you want to wear, you don't have to go out and fight the
• 22:14
  world about it. You just show up and just be yourself. And I
• 22:18
  think that's what's being has been lost. And I'll go back to the tools,
• 22:22
  like there's tools that are out there, And it depends on where you're
• 22:25
  at. Are you spiritually minded, are you more left brain minded? There
• 22:30
  are so many different people that are going to resonate out there with you.
• 22:33
  When you start searching and you ask your guides and your God and however you
• 22:37
  want to say it. I need some guidance to help raise these kids.
• 22:40
  I want to show up best for these kids. But not just these kids,
• 22:42
  every single kid that comes into my experience. The answers are going to
• 22:47
  show up for me. I have found a lady that I will sign up
• 22:51
  for the classes. She offers a bunch of information. She comes from,
• 22:53
  a spiritually based information. And I can tell you it's not for me to
• 22:57
  give advice to my kids anymore unless they're coming to me for my advice.
• 23:03
  And I'm not. You were actually responding to a post that someone's asking for
• 23:07
  help, same thing. They're asking for help, and you have advice and
• 23:11
  it's up to the person however they're going to take it. But I can
• 23:12
  be the template. I can be the example for my family and my kids
• 23:18
  to be different than the way they are right now. Do I find it
• 23:22
  abrasive sometimes that there's too much yelling? I do. Was I a yeller
• 23:26
  when I was raising my kids? I was that was I used my voice
• 23:30
  all the time, which clearly means to me, at some point someone had
• 23:33
  to use their voices with me that way as well, because we learned these
• 23:37
  things along the way. And then we think, oh, that's acceptable,
• 23:40
  and it may not even have been in my experience directly. I might have
• 23:42
  witnessed it being done with another family, so I'm not even saying that that
• 23:45
  was my family. But we bring this stuff forward in it, we can
• 23:48
  stay the victim and then not explore any avenues of ways of encouraging our growth
• 23:55
  and the growth of those around us. For me, it's about I'm learning
• 23:59
  to love myself and more that I love myself, I love those around me
• 24:03
  even more so that I want to help guide them into a space that empowers
• 24:07
  them, and which we've talked about even recently, having people in their lives
• 24:11
  that are supportive of them, not don't be just you to be the sole
• 24:15
  person, especially if you're struggling with a lot of victim stuff we're seeking outside
• 24:21
  of yourself, is very beneficial, and like you said, it's going to
• 24:22
  be beneficial for the person because you're still dealing with your inner child that's having
• 24:26
  all these emotions and feelings. So by you taking any of these courses,
• 24:30
  or you finding any of these books or whatever, you gravitate towards, because
• 24:33
  your spiritual guides your team, your inner compass knows which direction to go in
• 24:40
  if you'll just take the time to listen. Absolutely. So. Yeah,
• 24:48
  when I responded to that that post, part of what I put in there
• 24:52
  was those kids who are acting quote unquote rude or bad, they're also doing
• 25:00
  the best they know how to do with the information knowledge they have, just
• 25:03
  like your child is, and they're doing what they know how to do to
• 25:10
  get love and acceptance. And if that's their programming from their home environment,
• 25:15
  of course they're going to take it into every other environment they're in. Of
• 25:19
  course they are. We do the same thing as adults, because we're operating
• 25:23
  from that little person as well, wanting to be loved and accepted. And
• 25:29
  so just I did offer up that information as well, because we have to
• 25:33
  understand just like what Bev was talking about, Like, was your mom a
• 25:38
  yeller? You know? I don't. I don't really remember. I think
• 25:44
  that she probably was sometimes, but I just don't remember. I don't remember.
• 25:48
  Okay, that's so much I don't remember from Childhood's Okay, I'm just
• 25:51
  going to use this as an example though. Okay, just so, just
• 25:53
  very well, Bev's mom's a yeller, so BEV has to learn it from
• 25:57
  somewhere. So then Bev it becomes a parent. Bev knows yelling. Yelling
• 26:03
  is discipline, Yelling is getting your being in control. So Bev's a yeller.
• 26:07
  And then and then Bev's kids have kids, and so Bev's kids are
• 26:14
  yellers. In the meantime, things are changing in Bev Beverly's dynamics as far
• 26:21
  as learning new things. She's like, I don't want to be a yeller.
• 26:25
  I know, I feel like I'm out of control. I'm tired,
• 26:29
  I'm exhausted the way I'm showing up in life. And you know, they're
• 26:33
  not good enough story the people pleasing the fixer. They're taking out the responsibility
• 26:37
  of everybody's problems, and everybody comes to me with their problem. Right,
• 26:41
  It's just that I'm done. I'm tired, I'm exhausted, I'm depleted.
• 26:47
  So Bev starts learning new tools. Her kids are not and then we have
• 26:55
  the grandkids, and so thinking about the dynamic amicx of all of that that
• 27:03
  Bev's learning new tools. Her kids are already adults. So now they're they're
• 27:07
  adults, they get to pick and choose what they want to do with their
• 27:10
  life, how they want to show up in their life, whether they want
• 27:11
  to use these tools that Beverly's learning or not, whether Bev shares it with
• 27:15
  them or not, however that works out, Beb's using utilizing new tools.
• 27:22
  Now she's treating her grandkids differently. And now the kids are like, what
• 27:26
  the hell you weren't like that with us. You didn't have patience with us,
• 27:30
  You are always yelling at us. I'm not saying that's the true story.
• 27:33
  I'm just using us as an example. So Bev's kids are now seeing
• 27:37
  Beverly different with the grandkids, and they're like, we would never get away
• 27:45
  with any of that, right. So it's and Beverly's like, well,
• 27:48
  I am new tools. I know things. I know different things now.
• 27:52
  I know how I showed up when you were children, And looking back on
• 27:57
  that, I've to forgive myself for the way I showed up in my life
• 28:02
  because I learned it from somebody else. This is how I knew how to
• 28:07
  show up in my life in raising kids. This is what I knew what
• 28:10
  it was took to raise children. These were the tools I had at that
• 28:15
  time. Now I've been on a new journey, I've learned new things.
• 28:22
  I'm implementing them. I feel more peace. I feel more calm. I
• 28:26
  created boundaries. I'm not being the people pleaser and the fixer like I used
• 28:30
  to be. I don't feel like I'm out of control like I used to
• 28:34
  be, or being the control freak like I am very much more peaceful and
• 28:41
  calm within myself. I have self love. I am nurturing myself. I'm
• 28:45
  taking care of my container. And this is how I'm showing up now,
• 28:52
  which is benefiting her kids and her grandkids. But the grandkids are so much
• 28:59
  younger, so much receptive to the information that Beverly now has that they're going
• 29:03
  to pick that up very quickly than Bev's children. So this is like when
• 29:12
  you lay it out and you look at the whole like picture, it brings
• 29:18
  things more into understanding. Then when we just say, well your kids rude
• 29:29
  to my kids and I don't like it, well, tough shit. Those
• 29:33
  kids are showing up. How they know how to show up, And like
• 29:36
  Bev said, they're doing it because they're wanting to be seen and heard.
• 29:41
  They're doing it because they're wanting to be loved and accepted, and that's how
• 29:45
  they know how to show up. So we got leaning into compassion. You
• 29:52
  learn to me Compassion follows forgiveness every single time. Compassion follows forgiveness when you
• 30:00
  forgiving yourself or how you showed up in in uh, the way you raised
• 30:04
  your children. Now I have compassion for my children. Now I have compassion
• 30:11
  for the parent yelling at their child in the grocery store. Now I have
• 30:14
  compassion for the parent who is pulling their hair out having with three, four
• 30:18
  or five kids and having so much on their plate working full time. I
• 30:22
  have compassion for in much bigger ways, I can have compassion for the little
• 30:30
  tyrant brat that's showing up at school leaning into compassion. It's because we all
• 30:40
  want love and acceptance, even as adults, even as adults. Yeah,
• 30:45
  and it's all about love, it really is. And even if I see
• 30:51
  my kids yelling at the grandkids or whatever, I can see the abrasiveness.
• 30:55
  I can see the energy being so big and it's yelling over the other person.
• 31:00
  In that very moment, there is not love in that space. I'm
• 31:03
  not saying that the people don't love, but there's not love that's coming from
• 31:07
  that space. And for me even and this is a great lesson for me
• 31:11
  even to witness that because I walked out I walked out of the space because
• 31:15
  it didn't feel comfortable, so I left the energy. But for me to
• 31:18
  be in that space, which is okay, but I can send love to
• 31:22
  that space instead of thinking, well that's bullshit, or I wish they would
• 31:26
  stop acting like the way that I used to or whatever the words, whatever
• 31:29
  the terminology is. But it's to be in that space of love. So
• 31:32
  how can I judge them from where they're coming from right now? I can
• 31:36
  only be that space of love I could because I'm still being what it's an
• 31:41
  opportunity for them to see that they have an opportunity to be different than they
• 31:44
  are right now, and to recognize this isn't coming from a space of love,
• 31:48
  and to recognize that other child needs love to but has learned that we
• 31:53
  all know any attentions good attention, It just is. I witness it.
• 31:57
  I watched my son push buttons on mom and dad, and I watched them
• 32:07
  how they react because that's like immediately they're getting all this energy bursting to them,
• 32:12
  like come and right at them, and it doesn't matter if it was
• 32:15
  good or bad, because they still got you still looked at them, even
• 32:17
  when you're yelling at them. And you run down the hall and you're telling
• 32:21
  talking to them because they're not listening to you because they can't hear you.
• 32:23
  And understand at that very moment when you're yelling, they can't hear you.
• 32:28
  But when you get down to her level level and you start talking to them,
• 32:31
  because how would we feel being the adults right now and your boss,
• 32:37
  because this isn't like in a parent or parental role role is now coming in
• 32:40
  and yelling at you and standing over you. How do you feel. Well,
• 32:44
  you're probably gonna tell them the f off eat dog do and you're probably
• 32:46
  gonna be like, huh, peace out, I'm out of this job.
• 32:50
  You're not going to put up with a crap. But yet we're forcing But
• 32:52
  because we were forced as kids to endure a lot of that energy because that
• 32:58
  was our attention. So it was the same thing. But how can I
• 33:00
  change it? There's a bee like just hovering right outside the windel nye and
• 33:04
  slow, just like it's paying attention to everything. I'm saying, oh my
• 33:07
  gosh, that's weird. But to be in that space, if we're anything
• 33:10
  other than love, then we're not learning. Honestly, we're not expanding,
• 33:15
  We're not we're not helping anybody in that space. We're not encouraging, We're
• 33:17
  not That is not the fertile ground for confidence to grow. That is not
• 33:22
  the fertile ground for love to grow. You want kids to treat the other
• 33:25
  kids better, but there's got to be role models. And remember the role
• 33:30
  models that are around all the time, even some of the maybe some of
• 33:34
  the instructors that they might have in their classes or whatever. There there's people
• 33:38
  have different ideas of how another child should be raised, or maybe they don't
• 33:43
  resonate with that kid or whatever. It doesn't matter, but it's just recognizing
• 33:46
  we're forgetting to to give attention to the kids in a loving space. We're
• 33:52
  not encouraging. Like when they do do something great, are people are like,
• 33:55
  Yeah, you're doing such a great job because that right there. I
• 34:00
  watched it with my grandson. I've watched it with a gentleman at the gym
• 34:02
  and my grandson's doing stuff and and he's just working out and he's like,
• 34:07
  yeah, you're doing it so good, You're doing great. He couldn't get
• 34:09
  enough of that attention. So now every time he comes in, he's like,
• 34:12
  where is he? Is he here yet? Is he is he gonna
• 34:15
  be here right pretty soon. Awesome. And then every time he comes in
• 34:20
  if Colton asked for anything like that, like he says, next time I
• 34:22
  come in, I'll bring in my motorcycle. Which you gotta pay attention to
• 34:28
  how you resonate with all this stuff, because I can tell you what this
• 34:30
  person. I trust this person. There's no worries there but to be aware.
• 34:35
  But he'll go out there and let him sit on it. He watches
• 34:37
  them. You know we well, we've done that with him, and he
• 34:39
  gets so excited because he encourages that. Why because this person, when he
• 34:45
  was a young boy, was bullied. He was bullied, but look at
• 34:49
  what happened to him, Look what changed from him. Look at how much
• 34:52
  of a loving, nurturing person this is. We don't have to go through
• 34:54
  a whole life to get to that point, but we have examples around us
• 35:00
  all of the place. And it's gosh, I there's just too many times
• 35:04
  when your child's in a relationship with someone else as they get older and they're
• 35:08
  in high school and stuff, and then they break up with them. It
• 35:12
  breaks your heart because it's breaking their heart. But it's it's that those times
• 35:15
  it's like, Okay, God, help raise my energy yet, because I
• 35:19
  want to be a better role model, and I can't give to my child
• 35:22
  what I would hope for them right now, I can't if i'm if I'm
• 35:24
  crying because they're hurting right now, how am I helping them to facilitate love,
• 35:29
  joy and happiness into them and to understand that this is the process and
• 35:32
  that things don't always work out the way we think that they should at the
• 35:36
  time. But there's such a bigger picture if we just hold out. It's
• 35:42
  there's just so much for us to for us. And when we're empowering others,
• 35:45
  we're empowered. When we're helping others, we're being helped. When we're
• 35:49
  loving others, we're being loved. Like all these things, everything, it's
• 35:52
  an ebb and flow. There's always a flow, and it's and if we
• 35:54
  can remember at that exact moment, am I acting from a space of love
• 35:59
  right now? If I'm feeling anxious and I'm yelling or I'm doing any of
• 36:01
  those things, I'm not in a space of love. I'm not. And
• 36:05
  it's not a bad thing. It's not like oh here I go again.
• 36:07
  I'm gonna go beat myself up for the next forty five days or the next
• 36:12
  year because I've been a lousy parent. It doesn't serve me. It was
• 36:16
  an experience, simply, it was an experience. I haven't gone through a
• 36:22
  lot of stuff that maybe some other people have gone through, so it's you
• 36:25
  know, for me. But I've gone through the processes. I've gone through
• 36:29
  the processes to know that I can't hold another in darkness and then keep myself
• 36:34
  in the light. It doesn't work. It's not a do as I say,
• 36:37
  not as I do. You're not to be seen and not heard.
• 36:44
  You're meant to be heard. You're meant to be seen. And that's what
• 36:47
  I you know, I want that for all kids. So when I go
• 36:50
  to the park with the kids, I got to hold the kids from the
• 36:52
  park, you know, wanting to play. Oh can you push me on
• 36:53
  this? Can you do this? Hey? Can I get on there?
• 36:55
  Too? Of course you can. Yeah, we're gonna take it easy,
• 37:00
  so let's just enjoy the ride. Yeah, And you know, I had
• 37:04
  to. I had to grow up pretty quick in my childhood. So I
• 37:07
  was I was an adult before I was in a before I was ten.
• 37:13
  So to say it, but I think you know you're you're an adult,
• 37:20
  you've been through life experiences or whatever age you are, and and you have
• 37:25
  a child, and then you expect that child to understand you from the space
• 37:30
  of being an adult. And they don't, and they can't. They don't
• 37:36
  know how to articulate their feelings. They don't know how to articulate their words.
• 37:39
  What they do know is what you've taught them. If you've taught him
• 37:43
  to y'all and scream, they're gonna have temper tantrums. If you taught him
• 37:46
  that the only time they get attention is when you're yelling at and screaming at
• 37:51
  them, they're going to act up. Like take note, be aware,
• 37:58
  have self awareness, Like you had this clean slate infant come into your life
• 38:04
  and you're programming it. You're pouring into it what it's going to have as
• 38:13
  it gets older. And know that that child from zero to seven, whatever
• 38:17
  you've poured into it, is going to utilize that information as an adult.
• 38:23
  This is why majority of women, especially if they've grown up in abusive situations,
• 38:30
  their mom has demonstrated being in an abusive situation, how that equates to
• 38:38
  love and acceptance. Majority of women were majority of girls who've grown up in
• 38:45
  abusive situations when they get older, get into abusive situations because that's what they
• 38:52
  know, and that's how they know to show up to get love and acceptance,
• 38:58
  because nobody taught them how to love themselves. Nobody taught them how to
• 39:02
  be empowered to have self confidence. Now there are people majority of girls will
• 39:10
  end up in abusive relationships if they grew up in abusive relationships. There are
• 39:17
  the select few who go, this isn't right, this doesn't work for me,
• 39:22
  and they do go on the opposite end of the spectrum and they are
• 39:25
  loving and caring and compassionate. It is to me, I mean, if
• 39:30
  we bring in the spirituality part, it is what is our spiritual path for
• 39:37
  ourselves? Is it? Like? It took me years to stop abusing myself,
• 39:45
  and I grew up in abusive situations. So what I learned was to
• 39:52
  abuse myself and through that I get love and acceptance from others by being an
• 39:57
  abuse Like It's what I knew. And then I realized, huh, my
• 40:06
  actions toward myself, the stuff I was putting in my body, I was
• 40:10
  abusing myself. That was a harsh realization. I'm doing to myself what I
• 40:19
  don't want other people to do to me because I didn't like it. So
• 40:22
  I took that role on and I didn't know anything different until I learned self
• 40:28
  love, self acceptance, self awareness. H you gotta be willing to take
• 40:34
  the step. You gotta be willing to want to make that one degree difference.
• 40:37
  It doesn't have to be huge. It just means maybe you drink more
• 40:42
  water and less tequila. Maybe you drink more water and less sugary sodas.
• 40:50
  Maybe you move your body more instead of just watching Netflix every day. Maybe
• 40:57
  you learn to talk to yourself in a better way, and then you learned
• 41:05
  that helps you talk to other people differently, helps better or it may not
• 41:09
  how better your relationship, but it might create new relationships that are better.
• 41:16
  So and it just takes it takes a change, one change, and you
• 41:22
  got to figure out what that changes for you, because it's gonna be different
• 41:27
  for all of us, It's true. And then the whole thing is a
• 41:31
  lesson, even for mom because she got triggered, right, believe me,
• 41:37
  I've been triggered. I mean I and especially when it comes to your kids,
• 41:39
  because Mama Bear wants to come out automatically it's like, what right,
• 41:44
  But on the other side of that, it's just recognizing, oh, wait
• 41:46
  a minute, I'm being triggered. So now I have something to look at
• 41:50
  for myself and find out why it's showing up for me, because this is
• 41:52
  a learning lesson for me, and now it could be a learning lesson for
• 41:54
  my child. So it's just it's the same thing as when I tell people
• 42:00
  when they come home and the kids, because the kids are always happy and
• 42:02
  they want to come in and see you because they want to love on you,
• 42:05
  and I haven't seen you all day long until they get to a certain
• 42:07
  age because they've learned how to be around you. So if you're not excited
• 42:09
  every time you come see your kids, they're not excited that you don't even
• 42:13
  see them when you come in the house. They're not even showing up to
• 42:15
  say hey. But when we're in that space, our kids are always running
• 42:19
  in to be loved and to be seen, and there's we can empower that.
• 42:24
  That's awesome because we should be excited, but we get caught up in
• 42:29
  our daily activity. So when that happens, it's coming home and being like,
• 42:31
  I'm so happy to see you, right, now, but I need
• 42:35
  a few minutes to myself. I'm gonna go get myself a time out to
• 42:37
  honor myself so I can breathe it a little bit, to drop off a
• 42:39
  little bit of a maybe I brought home some work or something like that,
• 42:43
  but to get rid of it, and then you come out. That way,
• 42:45
  you can let them know when I come out, I'll be able to
• 42:46
  spend more time with you, and I can be the best version of myself
• 42:50
  for both of us, because when we're not the best version of ourselves,
• 42:53
  we feel it. It's not even just that they feel it. And then
• 42:55
  now we create a situation now where we have remorse, regret, we're grieving
• 43:00
  because we could have traded, we could have done things a little bit differently.
• 43:04
  Oh there I go. I get it again. It doesn't have to
• 43:06
  be any of those things. You have to genuinely want to make a difference
• 43:09
  and make a change and don't be a victim to your circumstances. And you're
• 43:13
  not just stuck on some you know, roller coaster ride that you're not allowed
• 43:16
  to get off of. You can choose to get off of it at anytime.
• 43:20
  I've had to choose to get off of it, honestly, because I
• 43:24
  had to honor myself. It doesn't matter if I feel like And that's another
• 43:29
  thing too, I may see like two or three these days, I'm just
• 43:31
  seeing two or three. Occasionally I'll throw four on the calendar on a day,
• 43:35
  and it's like, that's not honoring me because I feel better when I
• 43:39
  see two and I don't see any more than that. But then I started
• 43:44
  seeing other people to kind of get them into the calendar, oh, because
• 43:45
  I know they're hurting and I need they need to get in here. I
• 43:49
  have to remember there's other people out there that's for them too. It's not
• 43:52
  just me. I'm it's not just my job to do this. And also
• 43:55
  recognizing when I have people that come in and we all have people in our
• 44:00
  lives that Bremen would call them an ask whole because they're always asking for things
• 44:04
  but they're never doing anything. But it doesn't matter. They can be an
• 44:07
  asshole all they want to all day long. Still keep giving them advice when
• 44:10
  they ask. Eventually they're going to hear it and they're going to resonate with
• 44:14
  it. Because I know people that were like that. They were always looking
• 44:16
  for everybody else's advice. And I don't know if that's because we're so afraid
• 44:20
  to. I feel like, in some ways so afraid to make that decision
• 44:22
  ourselves because we don't want to look like the bad guy, or we don't
• 44:25
  want to whatever it is, whatever it is, because I've had parents that
• 44:29
  have been in my experience that have been like that. They're constantly asking everybody
• 44:32
  for their advice, including myself. When I was no longer just a teenager,
• 44:37
  I always you know, I had my own kids, so ask me
• 44:39
  for advice, but never taking the advice, but always asking for it and
• 44:44
  always like, oh yeah, I totally you know, totally get it and
• 44:46
  everything else. And maybe they did that moment because they latched into my energy
• 44:51
  and then explained it and they understood it, but then they walked away,
• 44:53
  did not know what they were going to do with anything. Because it's for
• 44:57
  us to follow those paths. It's for us to stay on bread trill.
• 45:00
  It's not for someone else, a teacher or a guide or anybody else to
• 45:05
  be that person for you. Always, we are here to give out that
• 45:08
  one word or that that answer, or that little tool that made a difference
• 45:12
  for you because you just happen to come across our page. Really, there's
• 45:15
  so much I find people that I listen to all the time, and I'll
• 45:19
  listen to a couple of little things and it's like, I know that that's
• 45:22
  exactly why I need to hear. I don't need to hear the rest of
• 45:22
  it. And that's cool too, But it's just recognizing that and how do
• 45:27
  you know, because we've got to slow down to pay attention to ourselves and
• 45:30
  hear how hear how we're showing up for the world, honestly, And I've
• 45:36
  I've I've recognized that a lot within myself too, Just how just how am
• 45:38
  I showing up? And am I showing up from a space of love?
• 45:42
  It's pretty simple. Is it love or is it something else? And you
• 45:47
  notice that in your body, that your body is your indicator. If it
• 45:53
  feels good, it feels good, and if it doesn't, it doesn't.
• 45:55
  It's pretty It's pretty simple. Any of the other thing too, that when
• 46:05
  you're lad as an adult, So being an adult and a child does something
• 46:09
  and it triggers me, triggers me to feel like I need to be in
• 46:15
  control. A situation triggers me in being angry, triggers me and maybe being
• 46:21
  sad that child in that moment doing a great job for me to recognize what
• 46:30
  I need to look at within myself, because why is a child triggering you?
• 46:35
  Why are you letting a child control you? Interesting? Right, because
• 46:42
  that child, if I'm feeling like I'm out of control, I don't have
• 46:45
  control of the situation. Okay, They're just showing you that you still have
• 46:51
  that within you, and that is something that you grew up with that you
• 46:57
  know, when you're an abusive situations our household, you don't have control,
• 47:01
  Like people are very controlling, and you feel out of control. So when
• 47:05
  you get older, the way you are in control as being a control freak.
• 47:09
  And so when a child acts out and you're feeling like you're out of
• 47:14
  control, you don't have control of this situation. You don't have control over
• 47:20
  your container. Your container is I could take a breath right now. This
• 47:25
  is an experience. This is something that's happening. This child's behaving this way.
• 47:30
  The way I react or respond to it is up to me. I
• 47:34
  can take a breath. I can handle this in the best way that I
• 47:37
  can. But when I take that breath and pause, I'm going to be
• 47:43
  more in a responsive mode than a reactive mode. I'm going to handle this
• 47:46
  situation much better than if I get triggered and come on with some strong,
• 47:54
  controlling energy, because what happens when you can bring controlling energy, it's resistance
• 48:00
  and they're gonna just be just gonna butt heads. There's not going to be
• 48:05
  a good ending to this situation. So in the moment, I know you're
• 48:12
  not going to do your personal work in the moment, But in the moment,
• 48:15
  you can't take that breath and handle it the best way you can and
• 48:19
  recognize take that mental note there's some work to be done here within myself and
• 48:25
  take the opportunity because it is all about the growth, right because they could
• 48:31
  have gone through bullying by their parents, which is probably more than likely when
• 48:36
  they hit triggers like this, are bullied at school because you know, again
• 48:39
  it's it's the triggers, but it's there's so much for us to grow from
• 48:44
  that. And then when we grow from that, we're no longer requiring our
• 48:47
  offspring to be the ones that have to manifest and take care of that,
• 48:52
  that control that victim that energy, when they can be something else because you've
• 48:57
  empowered them with something that you've empowered yourself with without even saying anything to him.
• 49:01
  So no, no, they no longer have to take on that role
• 49:04
  and to adjust the karma for the family because I feel like there's a lot
• 49:07
  of stuff that gets carried down through the family and we have a tendency to
• 49:10
  start behaving in those manners because that's what we again, that's what we know,
• 49:15
  those are the tools that we had. That's again why it's up to
• 49:19
  us to explore and go outside of that and be like, now this doesn't
• 49:22
  feel good. We could be a victim to our situation. We could be
• 49:24
  this, we could be the victimizer or the victor or other people and be
• 49:30
  the narcissist. We can do all those things. We can. We're here
• 49:32
  on free choice, free will. We can do whatever we want. But
• 49:36
  it's like when you sit and really look at it, and when you really
• 49:38
  feel you don't want to be that way, it doesn't feel good. And
• 49:44
  I've noticed what's coming up for me too. It's like, even if you're
• 49:46
  right, you don't have to argue that you're right. The truth doesn't have
• 49:50
  to argue for itself. And I have been that person to argue for myself,
• 49:52
  and it's like, I don't I've caught myself several times. Now I
• 49:57
  don't have to argue for myself. This is my choice. I can do
• 50:00
  whatever I want from misinformation. Thank you for sharing any information. I appreciate
• 50:02
  it. I can go on and do whatever I want. I don't have
• 50:05
  to take on that information. I don't have to, but it's an opportunity.
• 50:09
  Wait a minute, did it trigger me? Oh it didn't. Okay,
• 50:12
  Oh but it did it trigger me? Oh? It did? Okay.
• 50:15
  Now I got something I can go look at and work on that I
• 50:16
  don't have to carry around anymore. But I can be all the things that
• 50:20
  I would like to be. And the only way I can do that is
• 50:22
  by shedding the layers. I don't need these layers anymore. I don't need
• 50:27
  the the armor on anymore. When I'm around people sometimes and I say that
• 50:34
  I don't need it, but I can tell you there's sometimes that it does
• 50:37
  feel like, oh god, it would be nice if okay, our games
• 50:38
  are Michael, can you come in here and help me out here a little
• 50:40
  bit, brother, because I'm having a struggle. But it's like it's but
• 50:44
  it's that's an opportunity to ask for help. If if you're really struggling with
• 50:47
  something and we've got all this help around is spiritual. If you don't believe
• 50:52
  in it, that's cool, I mean, but whatever, what do you
• 50:53
  believe in? Like looking at those things and then exploring that why do you
• 50:58
  believe in it? Because sometimes we believe in things because someone else is told
• 51:00
  is that because we were raised with those ideas, we were raised with the
• 51:04
  fear. It doesn't have to be that way anymore. It doesn't have to
• 51:07
  be fearful all the time. I hear my granddaughter and my grandson. They're
• 51:10
  always talking, Oh, don't talk to strangers. No, you shouldn't talk
• 51:13
  to strangers. But what steps missing? The step to listen to their own
• 51:16
  intuition, because their intuition tells them when someone is a good person or a
• 51:21
  bad person. It's simple. They're either good or they're not. They're either
• 51:24
  coming across from an energy that feels good or it doesn't. It either feels
• 51:30
  like they're wanting something more. But how can we get We have to train
• 51:32
  them, and how can we train them well? Us as parents have to
• 51:36
  learn how to trust our own intuition to feel these things and then start helping
• 51:39
  the kids work out this stuff and look at it. They already know.
• 51:44
  You know, we talk about them being from zero to birth, but I
• 51:46
  feel like they from my perspective, is as soon as a child is before
• 51:52
  they even come into this physical the mother's physical body. From our perspective,
• 51:57
  they're coming in and automatically get a hold of wherever Mom's at and wherever Dad's
• 52:01
  at. They're automatically bringing all that information and that that that's part of a
• 52:07
  template that's already instilled within them without even teaching them anything. And now they're
• 52:12
  born, and now they're getting everything from their role models, from whoever is
• 52:15
  around them. That's what they're getting, and that's what they're learning from.
• 52:19
  Even with the tools they've already gotten, even though they can still many times
• 52:23
  remember all where they just came from, from that space of love. And
• 52:27
  that's why it's so hard on some kids to come into here, because it's
• 52:30
  not always that space of love. It's harsh, but we're making the changes.
• 52:35
  Everybody can make these changes. It's just paying attention to how you're feeling
• 52:38
  and how you're presenting yourself. Like I said, it's simple. You're either
• 52:43
  coming from a space of love or your aren't. Yeah, and we when
• 52:49
  we were moving in that transformational journey of self love, probably every one of
• 52:55
  us have heard be the adult to yourself that you needed when you were a
• 53:00
  child, that loving, nurturing, compassionate adult that you desired when you're a
• 53:07
  child. You have to be that to yourself. Now. If you take
• 53:12
  that and look at that child who's being rude or misbehaving or acting out,
• 53:20
  be the adult that your child needed, your own inner child needed when it
• 53:28
  was a little. Be that for them. And if it's the best I
• 53:32
  can do right now is say a prayer or send them love, then that's
• 53:37
  it. Don't interact with them, but you can hold a vibrational frequency of
• 53:43
  love toward them, and that makes all the difference in the world. Just
• 53:50
  sit back and try it. Sit back and watch what happens. You may
• 53:52
  not see it right that immediate second, or you may. It could be
• 53:55
  either way, because I've witnessed it, I've had it both ways. It's
• 54:00
  pretty astonishing, it really is. And it's just letting go of control.
• 54:05
  And if someone's not willing to take your advice, you know when they ask
• 54:08
  for it, it's okay. You plant a seed, and if it's something
• 54:12
  that's for them, because sometimes we think, what's we know what's better for
• 54:14
  somebody else, but but we really don't. We really don't. I've I've
• 54:17
  I've had that, I've been that experience. You know, why can't they
• 54:21
  just do it this way? It would just save them so much time and
• 54:22
  it would be so much happier. That's my perspective. Okay, So if
• 54:29
  that if I was listening to my advice, then I would know that that
• 54:31
  that advice directly was for myself, not really probably anybody else. I can't
• 54:36
  remember the exact topics, but I know if I've had these, I've had
• 54:37
  these moments. So it's just recognizing again and you're just taking the time to
• 54:44
  kind of really just be aware of what you're saying and what's coming from you
• 54:46
  and what advice is coming from you. We have all this wonderful information flowing
• 54:52
  through us, and especially when someone asks for advice, as long as we're
• 54:55
  not getting too much into our left brain stuff. When we have we're grabbing
• 55:00
  hold of all of our own experiences. If we can stay in the space
• 55:04
  of we're more neutral, we'll receive information from spirit, will come through instead
• 55:07
  of using our own own information that we already had, like our old templates,
• 55:14
  our instruction manual that we've created all the way up to this date,
• 55:17
  which is not it's only accurate enough to keep you keep your ego safe in
• 55:22
  a lot of ways, to keep your ego comfortable, to keep your ego
• 55:27
  satisfied as much as you can possibly keep an ego satisfied. If that's your
• 55:30
  main focus. Again, you go back into love, and then you love
• 55:34
  your ego. When I see my youngest or my oldest daughter, many times
• 55:37
  when I've gone in I when I go into seeing my inner child, a
• 55:42
  lot of times it will show up as my oldest daughter in a lot of
• 55:45
  ways. So I've experienced that quite often. And so at that time,
• 55:51
  the best thing I can do is give my daughter a hug just from my
• 55:54
  energy, to give her love from that space, to send her prayers because
• 55:59
  I know that she's shown up for that reason, because she is that inner
• 56:01
  child of mine. I've carried her outside of myself as her from the space
• 56:06
  that I was in when my kids came in during the time was the time
• 56:09
  frame that I was in, regardless of what whether the father was there or
• 56:13
  not. They have picked up attributes from those people and then have brought it
• 56:17
  forward, And it's up to us on an individual basis to be not I'm
• 56:22
  not I'm not my father, I am not my mother unless I'm speaking of
• 56:29
  the creator of all that is than I am about my father's work, because
• 56:32
  that's a different father, that's the real father as far as I'm concerned.
• 56:37
  So when we see, when we see those behaviors in our own children,
• 56:43
  that's absolutely a time to start forgiveness, work for yourself. Uh huh.
• 56:47
  I forgive myself for being the yeller when they were children. I forgive myself
• 56:52
  for showing up the way I knew how to show up with those tools at
• 56:58
  that time. I forgive myself for not being more loving and attentive and compassionate
• 57:04
  to their needs. I forgive myself for programming and them with the information I
• 57:08
  had at that time because that's what I knew. Like it's there's utilize your
• 57:15
  children for the benefit of your own growth, because they're just mirroring to you.
• 57:21
  Because people are right, they get pissed because their kids are doing things
• 57:27
  that you know you did or do, but now because they're doing it,
• 57:30
  you're pissed or it triggers you or whatever. They might be right, knock
• 57:35
  you off your your knock you off balance. Wow again, they had to
• 57:40
  learn it from somewhere, So you can't be mad at them. You just
• 57:45
  can't be mad at yep I did that. And also know we're all on
• 57:59
  our own spiritual journey here, right. And so those children picked you,
• 58:06
  they picked you, they picked you to be their parents. And so you
• 58:09
  showed up in the best way you knew how to be a teacher. And
• 58:13
  now they're showing up and they showed up as a student, and now they're
• 58:16
  being a teacher for you, and you're being a student is just going to
• 58:20
  be this dance for the rest of your days together in learning and growing together.
• 58:27
  And now if that is that is being a student, This is what
• 58:30
  I call it. I call it being a student to your life because you're
• 58:34
  open to that awareness of being and doing better. Now, if you're going
• 58:37
  to remain a victim to your life, or then you're going to see how
• 58:42
  your child's misbehaving. They don't listen, they're they're root like you. Just
• 58:45
  it's yeah, it's like dancing with somebody who steps on your toes all the
• 58:52
  time and you're just like aggravated and frustrated. Well, then learn how to
• 58:57
  dance with them. Yeah, because it's kind of the parent and in a
• 59:00
  space of struggle when you're like that, and then it's like then they have
• 59:05
  to ask. You have to ask yourself because sometimes that's our motivation. Why
• 59:07
  do I keep myself in a space of struggle while I'm distracting myself? What
• 59:10
  am I distracting myself from. Oh there's a good question, and you expect
• 59:15
  the child to have the answer and they don't. Yeah, I don't care
• 59:19
  if they're fifteen, eighteen or twenty two. They don't have the answer because
• 59:22
  they're operating from the information and knowledge that they have that they've been programmed with,
• 59:28
  that they learned. So you as the adults, as the parent,
• 59:35
  you have to go into your own inner self, your own inner connection,
• 59:39
  your own dialogue with spirit or God or the Father. What is it for
• 59:45
  you that's going to bring you into an alignment to listen to your own intuition
• 59:51
  and connect to your self love. You gotta learn the tools. Like bab
• 59:58
  and I just didn't show up and at doing these podcasts, I have to
• 1:00:00
  say we had to go through some stuff, man, And so we had
• 1:00:06
  to learn the tools that work for us. And that's what that's your job.
• 1:00:09
  That's your job, that's your responsibility. And we just show up every
• 1:00:15
  week to share what we know, what we've observed, what we're aware of,
• 1:00:20
  what we work. No works for us, and we just bring it
• 1:00:23
  to the table. And what you do it, that's your business. Nobody
• 1:00:27
  can make you do it. If you're comfortable with the way your life is
• 1:00:30
  great. If you're not great, do something about it. Just make and
• 1:00:35
  start making one change. It's true, it's all a choice. It's a
• 1:00:40
  choice to be Do I want to stay in the space that I'm at or
• 1:00:44
  do I want to change? And it's those little changes that we make that
• 1:00:47
  have such big, huge effects and such big ripples out to the world.
• 1:00:52
  Yeah, because we don't have to stay in that same place. And I'm
• 1:00:55
  telling you, I've looked around the world. It depends on what we're looking
• 1:00:59
  at. But I can look around the world and I can see Victim all
• 1:01:00
  over the place. I've looked around the world, and I can see a
• 1:01:04
  lot of other stuff. I mean, I'm not saying and I'm struggling with
• 1:01:07
  some stuff too that are going on in the world because it's that there's not
• 1:01:14
  the stuff that happened on eight eight. There's not a lot of sense to
• 1:01:16
  be made about this kind of stuff. But when I was pondering it a
• 1:01:22
  couple of days ago or yesterday, because I was trying to have some understanding
• 1:01:28
  from spirit, and I was told there's a bigger picture here. So it's
• 1:01:32
  like I because you know, not that long ago, we've we've heard you
• 1:01:37
  know, hey, the stuff's going to start coming to the surface so people
• 1:01:40
  can see it. They didn't say it was going to come with grace and
• 1:01:44
  ease. They said stuff was going to come up to the surface that you're
• 1:01:47
  people are basically going to be calling themselves out. So there's been activities that
• 1:01:52
  have been going on that are against humanity, not for humanity. But that's
• 1:02:00
  where we step in because we are for humanity, and how can it be
• 1:02:02
  the difference. I can't push against that stuff. I have to understand from
• 1:02:07
  Spirit there's a bigger picture. And if I still don't know, if that
• 1:02:10
  doesn't that kind of helped me in a lot of ways. But we can
• 1:02:14
  still ask questions. I can ask, well, what does the bigger picture
• 1:02:16
  look like? And how does that look like? And I'm learning this just
• 1:02:19
  from that psychic medium course that I've taken. It's really asking questions because spirit
• 1:02:23
  will show you things like, for instance, a spirit could show you a
• 1:02:27
  picture of a building and then you can ask, well, let's go into
• 1:02:30
  the building, show me what it looks like inside? Or like an example
• 1:02:32
  that Suzanne Geeseman used was she says I saw a stamp. Now she said.
• 1:02:37
  I could have said, I'm saying a stamp and maybe your dad worked
• 1:02:43
  for the postal service, but instead she followed the trail from that stamp right.
• 1:02:46
  So it's by because we can do that on every It's in every experience.
• 1:02:51
  It's not just psychic medium stuff, but it's to go deeper and to
• 1:02:53
  look at the things even more to have a better understanding. And how do
• 1:02:57
  we know? We ask ask what's inside of yourself? Even if you don't
• 1:03:00
  believe in anything, or don't trust anything, or don't know anything, learning
• 1:03:05
  how to trust yourself. By you asking these questions inside of you, you'll
• 1:03:07
  start getting information. All I can tell you the most fun that I can
• 1:03:12
  have with it is just by playing with it every day and not being too
• 1:03:15
  serious. Because we've all gotten too serious. And I also know that we're
• 1:03:20
  all not going to escape this experience alive. I don't think we ever really
• 1:03:24
  truly, we don't ever truly die, but we don't ever We're not going
• 1:03:29
  to leave this experience in this body, right, And that's okay, yeah,
• 1:03:36
  And we're all going to have many different ways that we decide to go
• 1:03:37
  out. And it's also honor that not to get so caught up in how
• 1:03:40
  people left, but that they Oh my god, good job, you guys
• 1:03:45
  made it back into spirit. You made it through your human experience to this
• 1:03:51
  point. And thank you because now there's a bigger picture here and I have
• 1:03:54
  because there's not a loss. There's always nuggets. There's always a nugget from
• 1:03:59
  everything. So when we find the nuggets about the situation that happened to MAUI,
• 1:04:02
  when we find the nuggets for these things, then it becomes not a
• 1:04:05
  loss anymore. Of these people weren't a loss. They were standing for something
• 1:04:11
  in many ways, because from what I understand, I haven't had it in
• 1:04:14
  my personal experience. When Spirit goes through these things, or when people go
• 1:04:16
  through these things, and they have many that leave at one time, it
• 1:04:19
  is for a bigger message. There is bigger growth to be had by this.
• 1:04:25
  So it's on an individual basis, I have goosebumps from that. So
• 1:04:28
  that's good for me to know that that's another way of my body letting me
• 1:04:32
  know, this is the confirmation of truth to me, and I understand that
• 1:04:36
  and that gives me peace. So then every time I hear about something that's
• 1:04:41
  not feeling good, it's a prayer. It's sending love to these people,
• 1:04:44
  and it's hearing these people. And by the way, if people are feeling
• 1:04:47
  like if you can reach out and help out to any of these people,
• 1:04:50
  reach out and help out, maybe not using the things that people have been
• 1:04:56
  asking for help for all. And I'm not going to use any names because
• 1:05:00
  I don't know if it will kick us off of YouTube or wherever. But
• 1:05:03
  there are some companies out there that we've all believed in for so long since
• 1:05:06
  we were kids, that were always the places that would go and rescue bleak
• 1:05:10
  people. And from what I'm hearing from other people, from the people that
• 1:05:15
  have had this experience, are staying they're not being helped by these people.
• 1:05:18
  So if you see like the go fund means, or if you have people
• 1:05:21
  that you know, they're like getting that information. There's other ways for us
• 1:05:25
  to get help to people, and even just our prayers are going to bring
• 1:05:29
  that help to people. Yep. Yeah, So any anybody in situation that
• 1:05:36
  is of struggle, if you can't help them physically, financially, materially,
• 1:05:44
  whatever, sending love and saying prayers is helpful because you're holding that space of
• 1:05:48
  love, You're changing the energetic vibration frequency of that experience. And I just
• 1:05:59
  want to say that if you do contribute to any like go fund me things
• 1:06:03
  there, anything like that, be sure you know the people who are doing
• 1:06:08
  it. Be sure you know who are who set that up and and you
• 1:06:14
  have total trust in them. So that's that's all I'm going to say about
• 1:06:18
  that. So, yeah, lots of love to the people in Hawaii,
• 1:06:25
  and and of course they're in our hearts and our prayers. And I'm just
• 1:06:30
  like, I'm excited to see what magic is going to come from this and
• 1:06:33
  how how it's going to be rebuilt, like how it could be even more
• 1:06:40
  amazing than it than it was. I mean, clean slate, right,
• 1:06:44
  clean slate, Let's rebuild. What are we gonna what are we going to
• 1:06:46
  create? Yeah? So let's up to the people on that at island to
• 1:06:50
  do that. So and we can hold the spacehole division for them for sure.
• 1:06:58
  And our imagination, our IMAGINEI play is our imagination plays such a big
• 1:07:02
  role in this too, because I could see, like when we're in that
• 1:07:05
  space of you know, the meditative space, or that space of you're just
• 1:07:09
  feeling so much love to we're so much bigger than these little bodies. Our
• 1:07:14
  bodies may seem big, but we're so much bigger than these I was just
• 1:07:15
  listening to another near death experience and he said the worst thing was being cramped
• 1:07:19
  back into that body when he had to come back in. So listening to
• 1:07:23
  that, but it's like we've got I can see myself my energy, and
• 1:07:26
  I could see like you and I holding hands and other people holding hands,
• 1:07:30
  and our energy being right over the top of that area that had received the
• 1:07:34
  damage and the hearts that have been affected and the people that have had losses
• 1:07:39
  of other people and raising that vibration. Our imagination is key and that kind
• 1:07:45
  of those kind of things because we can change things. I can sit here
• 1:07:47
  and say okay, well, yeah, I see that this company wants to
• 1:07:51
  come in and buy up all this stuff and see how this was all displayed
• 1:07:55
  and how it was played up because people were holding onto their land because they
• 1:07:58
  know that it's worth their value in it, and it's it's sacred and all
• 1:08:03
  the stuff. And I understand that there's other factions that want to create these
• 1:08:12
  little cities that they want to create. And I just think that sometimes we
• 1:08:16
  get so big of ourselves that we lose track of the love and the real
• 1:08:21
  reason why we came here in the first place. And then we start deciding
• 1:08:26
  to be that fully and we're just going to take it anyways. So this
• 1:08:30
  whole conversation kind of interplace with the whole all the things that are going on
• 1:08:35
  there right now too. And the thing is we can show up with anger,
• 1:08:41
  we can show up with a war, we can show up and take
• 1:08:43
  down places and people and everything else, but we're not coming from a space
• 1:08:46
  of love. From that way, now, if I'm in a space of
• 1:08:49
  I think of Martin Luther King, right, If I'm in a space of
• 1:08:51
  love, then maybe it's not the war, it's not there anything else.
• 1:08:56
  But it's just giving information to other people so they have an opportune to see
• 1:09:00
  it from a different perspective and empower themselves and not feel like we're victims and
• 1:09:04
  we can't do something because everything that we do does matter. And just the
• 1:09:13
  keyword today's empower. Empower yourself so you can empower your kids, so you
• 1:09:17
  can empower other people around you. And empowerment to me is standing within your
• 1:09:23
  true self and spirit. To me is true love and joy, and that
• 1:09:29
  is being empowered when you have that deep connection from that space. Good stuff
• 1:09:36
  today, bab Thanks for showing up. Yes you for you too. I
• 1:09:41
  appreciate you, and we appreciate our listeners. Thank you so much for hanging
• 1:09:45
  out with us. You could be doing anything and you chose to hear us
• 1:09:49
  and hear our perspectives and share us, share us with people you think may
• 1:09:55
  benefit from what we're bringing, what we're bringing to the table. So and
• 1:10:00
  it may not be everything. Everything may not resonate with you as well,
• 1:10:03
  and so it's okay, But what pieces did, that's what you take.
• 1:10:08
  That's what you implement and maybe later the rest of it might come to light
• 1:10:15
  for you and maybe not, doesn't matter. Just take what's working now.
• 1:10:18
  So with that, my friends, thanks for hanging out with us. Teach
• 1:10:20
  time with Amy and Bev and we'll see you next week. Take care bye,