Latest / Sober Readings / Respect For Others
Transcript
- Scott Hayes: Welcome to Sober Readings. Today is Thursday, the 7th of May. Let's begin with a serenity prayer. God, grant us the serenity to accept the things we cannot change, courage to change the things we can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Today's reading from Daily Reflections. Respect for Others. Such parts of our story we tell to someone who will understand yet be unaffected. The rule is we must be hard on ourselves but always considerate of others. That's from the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, page 74. Respect for others is the lesson that I take out of this passage. I must go to any lengths to free myself if I wish to find that peace of mind that I have sought for so long. However, none of this must be done at another's expense. Selfishness has no place in the AA way of life. When I take the fifth step, it's wiser to choose a person with whom I share common aims because if that person does not understand me, my spiritual progress may be delayed and I could be in danger of relapse. So I ask for divine guidance before choosing the man or woman whom I take into my confidence. Today's reading from 24 Hours. May 7, AA Thought for the Day. It is very important to keep in a grateful frame of mind if we want to stay sober. We should be grateful that we're living in a day and age when an alcoholic isn't treated as he often used to be treated before Alcoholics Anonymous was started. In the old days, every town had its town drunk who was regarded with scorn and ridiculed by the rest of the town's people. We have come into AA and found all the sympathy, understanding, and fellowship that we could ask for. There's no other group like AA in the world. So ask yourself, am I grateful? The Meditation for the Day. God takes man's efforts for good and blesses them. God needs man's effort. Man needs God's blessing. Together they mean spiritual success. Man's effort is necessary. He cannot lean on his oars and drift with the tide. He must often direct his efforts against the tide of materialism around him. When difficulties come, man's effort is needed to surmount them. But God directs man's efforts into the right channel and God's power is necessary to help man choose the right. Today's prayer for the day. I pray that I may choose the right. I pray that I may have God's blessing and direction in all my efforts for good. And for today's final reading, I'll read the meditation from Touchstones, a book of daily meditations. The newest computer can merely compound, at speed, the oldest problem in relations between human beings, and in the end the communicator will be confronted with the old problem of what to say and how to say it. That's from Edward R. Moreau. We may reduce our difficulties with others to communication problems, yet the remedy may remain unclear. How can we become more responsible for our share of the communication? Can we stop blaming others? When we improve in those ways, our relationships get better. Clear, specific, and direct language will help us be more responsible and less blaming. We can use simple words that expose the truth rather than words that hide or sugarcoat it. We can use specific examples and give details rather than generalities or hints. We can be more direct by using you and me language. In the process, we yield to the truth within ourselves and become more honest. Today, I will be aware of communicating clearly, specifically, and directly. And that is the daily meditation from the book called Touchstones. You know, I love in this last sentence they use the phrase truth within ourselves when they're talking about communication. Because communication problems, for me anyway, are usually rooted in avoidance and making assumptions and unclear expression. And like they say in this reading, personal responsibility in communication really means looking at my own role instead of blaming the other person. And this requires honesty, mostly honesty with myself, because if I'm being honest with myself, communication problems usually are rooted in fear. And fear is often underneath many communication problems, even if it doesn't seem obvious on the surface. I may avoid being direct because my fear of rejection or fear of conflict or fear of embarrassment or losing control. And so instead of saying what I really truly feel or what I want to say, I become defensive or sarcastic or either withdrawn or overly agreeable. And so healthy communication really requires courage because being honest always carries some type of risk. There is a risk in expressing my needs. admitting mistakes, setting boundaries, or telling truth about emotions. But when fear controls my communication, then my relationships tend to become less authentic. And so for me, communication is partly the practice of speaking the truth, even when fear is present. And so what are your thoughts on fear and communication, and how do you deal with it? If you'd like to send me your thoughts in your comments, Or if you'd like to be a guest on my show and talk about fear or anything else related to sobriety, send me an email at soberreadingswithscott at gmail.com and we can certainly make that happen. So that's it for today's episode of Sober Readings. If you enjoyed the show, please do me a huge favor and hit that like button and share this episode with someone you think might need it and drop a comment and let me know what you thought. And also, if you'd like to drop a dollar in the virtual donation basket for today's readings, just go to soberreadings.com, scroll down, and hit the donate button. So thank you so much for listening today. Stay sober, keep reading, and I'll see you in the next episode. Until then, take care of yourselves and each other, and remember, just for today, don't drink, go to a meeting, and keep coming back. Have a great day. And as my friend Larry says, best day ever.