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S2 E17 - The Interpreter of Dreams · The Steve & Jeff Show

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_05: Previously on the Steven Jeff Show, we only got into the little studio.
• 0:04
  SPEAKER_06: Claire obviously has her act together, but it doesn't sound like we're in the act.
• 0:09
  SPEAKER_06: It's got everything the big stealer has just less.
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_06: Randolph Scott Airport.
• 0:13
  SPEAKER_06: See, that's what you get for twenty dollars.
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_04: Well, I'm not gonna say it's gonna be great here until uh you meet a couple demands, okay?
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_04: Here's ten bucks.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_04: I feel like we're in the big time.
• 0:21
  SPEAKER_04: You are racking up the bills right now.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_04: That's another stupid question.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_04: That's another hundred bucks.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_04: I need ink.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_04: The first strike is always to rip the person off.
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_04: A year supply of falafel and uh Morgan David wine.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_04: I know that you're gonna help us with this negotiation to get back into their studio.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_04: And what can you give up?
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_06: The tampons, like the wizard of oz.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_06: It's a question that I would give you fifteen dollars for.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_04: I don't know.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_06: Okay, I'll give you 25.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_06: All right, I'll give you I'll give you 50.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_05: Right, people, be sure and follow or subscribe to the Steve and Jeff Show wherever you listen to podcasts.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_05: And now here's Steve and Jeff.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_05: Right, Johnny.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_05: I'll tell you, we're back in the studio.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_05: But Jeff, we're back in the little studio again tonight.
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_05: It didn't have to break in.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_05: So that was a plus.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, how's it going, Steve?
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_05: It's going okay.
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_05: You know, that that new engineer kind of felt sorry for us and let us in here.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_05: We still can't go in the big studio, though.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_05: But we're we're gonna open a door, and through that door, we're going to walk back into the big studio hand in hand with our producer, Miss Claire.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_06: Johnny had some bite marks on his arm, which you know, I felt bad about because you know, we don't pay him, we we actually don't follow through on paying him anyway.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_05: We don't we don't really pay him enough or or really anything for that matter, but but but I digress.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_06: Did you set us up on uh medical plan?
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_06: Because I don't think we offer that for him.
• 1:39
  SPEAKER_05: Oh no, oh no, we don't know we don't have one of those.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_06: Oh I just want to make sure we did, gosh, because that that would be, you know, yeah.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_05: He's always been a little skittish around dogs.
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_05: I know, and then of course, the farmer brute show, you know, where all the dogs and golden retrieval, you know, that really set him off.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_05: And then, of course, now the dog's here.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_05: I mean, what can we do?
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_05: Johnny, in fact, I think is doing the show remotely from his car.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_05: He's in the car looking at the dogs right now.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_05: He's outside, he's right outside.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_05: Look, you see him right out there.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_06: You see him.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_06: Yeah, I'm looking forward to getting together with Claire and kind of working out the the final parts of what our negotiation.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_06: And it's been a very good experience.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_06: I'm glad that we're able to use one of our guests as a reference because I think I learned a lot from the last episode.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_05: We got so much out of that that is really going to help us with the tough negotiations because like let's face it, Jeff, it's gonna be a tough negotiation to get back into that studio.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_05: I mean, she took it over, she locked us out.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_06: I know.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_06: So I'm looking forward to it.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_06: Small steps.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_06: I know that we were able to negotiate.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_06: The dogs, I guess, are leaving, and she's putting in parrots that scream swear words, which is better.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_06: I think I'm I'm a little scared of those.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_06: No, and the parents, parents don't bite.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_05: Parents bite.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_05: Wait, but the parrots don't bite.
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_05: Parents can bite.
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_05: I mean, I mind it.
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_05: I mean, about you, but yeah, parrots at least don't bite.
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_05: So there is that.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_05: And when they scream out swear words, it's kind of, I don't know, kind of cute.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_06: I agree.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_06: So, anyways, I'm very optimistic.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_06: This is kind of interesting.
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_06: We did an episode a couple weeks ago.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_06: It was on some greatest hits.
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_06: It was some of the stuff that we had done in the past, and one of them had to do with that dream sequence with you, with your with your mom and and your car.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_05: Let me just say, I am so glad we did that because people probably didn't hear that show.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_05: That entire first season probably blew past just about everybody.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_05: You know, people can subscribe, people can listen to the show, man.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_05: And we've got a bunch of old shows.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_05: So you know, but I agree.
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_06: I think that was our first episode, wasn't it?
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_06: That was our very first episode, yes.
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_06: So we do that episode, and I get like 15 people coming up to me saying, I have dreams.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_06: Yeah.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_06: And you know, Steve's dream was cool, but you know, it would have been really helpful if maybe the psychiatrist could have talked about my dreams.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_06: And I'm like, well, you know, we don't even have her as our, you know, she's not counseling either of us anymore.
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_06: But uh it did make me think that we ought to come up with a way to let our listeners express themselves about their dreams.
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_06: Oh, absolutely.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_05: And you know, just thinking about that dream, that that 65 impel, the lines on that car.
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_05: It was something else.
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_05: Oh, but I I I don't want I don't want to get too deep into it.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_05: But speaking of deep, I think we really do on our show tonight, this very show, we have to really go deep into dream analysis.
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_05: We have to get to the core, to the root, to the stem, to the seeds, to the flowers, to the whole thing.
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_05: We really have to get to all of it, Jeff, and really understand what's going on with that dream analysis.
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_05: To that end, just the other side of that glass, we have an expert who is going to help us who's written a book, and she is going to guide us and let's face it, Jeff, the millions of listeners.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_05: Come on, come on.
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_05: Oh, yeah, the millions of listeners on their dreams.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_05: So I'd like to introduce Dr.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_05: Jolene Bishop Green.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_05: Dr.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_05: Green, welcome to the Steve and Jeff Show.
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_05: We've been wanting to have you on for a long time.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_05: Welcome.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_03: Steve and Jeff, it is my pleasure.
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_03: Please call me Dr.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_03: Jolene.
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_05: Oh, Dr.
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_05: Jolene.
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_05: That's great.
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_05: That's a nice name.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_05: Sounds kind of country music-ish, doesn't it?
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_06: Exactly.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_06: So many of the people that we have on, they're professionals, but they're not accomplished.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_06: And I understand that you actually have a new book that's just come out.
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_06: You know, maybe we could spend a little time promoting that to the millions of people who you'll be able to help.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_05: And to the seven or eight of those millions that read books, but but I digress.
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_05: But go ahead.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_03: Yes, absolutely.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_03: Uh, to begin with, I do want to mention that I am a certified doctor.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_03: I went to school for almost fours of months to be able to become a doctor.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_03: So I really want that to be a part of my title.
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_03: I got my DOD degree, the Doctor of Dreams, at the Hervard Institute of Sleeps, Dreams, Bedding Institute.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_03: Hervert, I know that some of you pronounce it differently, but no.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_03: And how I got into this was basically, I have been a dreamer, you know, since I was very young.
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_03: And I've always wondered what my dreams meant.
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_03: The desire for answers led me on this journey, which led me to my new book, Not All Dreams Are Wet.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_06: Really?
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_06: Very interesting.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_03: What a great title.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_03: It is, it really is.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, I know that you're probably aware, most of our dreams are about floating on water, being underwater.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_03: Well, yeah, of course.
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_05: But the point is in the impella.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_05: Oh, well, yeah.
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_05: Wait, wait, maybe I'm trying to personalize this a little too much.
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_05: I'm sorry to say that.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_03: Always water.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_03: And the point is, even if your dream is not about the Atlantic Ocean, like most dreams are, it doesn't mean that it's not about the Atlantic Ocean, right?
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, you know what I'm saying.
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_05: I'm not sure I do, Dr.
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_05: Jolene, but I'm I'm not the expert, and I'm I'm really more of a Pacific guy myself anyway.
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_05: But yeah, I I know you heard oh interesting.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, oh yes, Pacific, just kind of like that, kind of like that car.
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_05: And you know, speaking of the car, I mean, I I I know you heard about the dream where let's just say I had an attraction to my mom's car.
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_05: And you know, most people being those strict Fruitians, that's how it's pronounced, right?
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_03: Those strict Fruitians use German, there's a little more of a strict.
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_05: Well, the strict Fritians, they are.
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_05: They all say it's a sexual dream about you're having a sexual dream about your mom.
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_05: I I don't know.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_05: I don't know.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_05: What do you think?
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_03: You know, our dreams don't always have just one meaning, and this is one of them that could have multiple pieces.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_03: You want to look deeper, like an onion, peel away the layers, look into the analysis of the dream itself.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_03: Again, it's always about water.
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_03: You're washing the car, right?
• 7:51
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, that's religious, it's a baptism, it's a cleansing, as it were, right?
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_06: Never would have seen that.
• 8:01
  unknown: Yeah.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, yes.
• 8:03
  SPEAKER_03: We're getting back to those basics, cleansing ourselves, moving forward.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_03: And the fact that there's the car in your dream, often we're running from something.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_03: You're so afraid of it, you're driving away from it.
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_05: Oh, wow.
• 8:19
  SPEAKER_05: That's amazing.
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_05: That is really good.
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_03: We know that a buic, right, is a French word for undercooked casserole, things that can make you sick if you aren't careful.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_03: Again, we're cleansing ourselves from these illnesses of the mind.
• 8:37
  SPEAKER_05: Wow.
• 8:37
  SPEAKER_05: You know, I think that's what my therapist was trying to do, trying to cleanse me of the illnesses of the mind.
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_05: And Jeff, I I know she liked you better for a while.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_05: You know, I think I was healing in my own way, but it didn't look like I was healing because I wasn't like, you know, healing, but I digress.
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_05: But doctor, what about that vision of my mom in the dream?
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_05: I'm guessing that has to do with me feeling alone and need to be nurtured and loved.
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_03: You might think so, Steve.
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_03: But remember, we're talking about an impala.
• 9:11
  SPEAKER_03: And what was the best part of the impala?
• 9:14
  SPEAKER_03: The big back seat.
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_05: Oh, it was.
• 9:17
  SPEAKER_05: Yes.
• 9:18
  SPEAKER_05: Oh, you know.
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_05: Oh, yeah.
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_05: Oh, that's wonderful.
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_03: No.
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, you want to have sex with your mom who you think has a big badonkadonk after a bath.
• 9:27
  SPEAKER_03: Wow.
• 9:27
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_05: Well, that makes total sense.
• 9:29
  SPEAKER_05: Even with those plastic seat covers, that back seat was beautiful.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_05: Oh, yeah.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_05: Oh, it was great.
• 9:34
  SPEAKER_06: At that time, you often told me that you had the upholstery covered with the plastic at all times.
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_06: So you were you were a responsible, careful young man.
• 9:44
  SPEAKER_05: I practiced safe Impala.
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_05: I really did.
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_05: And uh it was before it was cool.
• 9:48
  SPEAKER_05: I mean, nobody was doing it back then, but I was, you know, because I thought it was just responsible to do that.
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_03: Ahead of your time, true.
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_05: I was indeed.
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_05: You're so good at this, Dr.
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_05: Jolene.
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_05: What a great Dr.
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_05: Jolene.
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_05: I that's such a such a happy name.
• 10:03
  SPEAKER_05: I just love saying it, even though we don't really do a call-in show typically, but some of them call in because they knew that we were having you on and they they ask questions.
• 10:12
  SPEAKER_05: Would you mind answering a couple of the listeners' questions?
• 10:15
  SPEAKER_03: You know, no, no, I'd be glad to.
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_03: I have time for for just a few.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_03: Absolutely.
• 10:20
  SPEAKER_05: Hold it right there, Doc.
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_05: Since Steve and Jeff aren't paying me, I'm breaking into the show from my car right outside.
• 10:28
  SPEAKER_05: I'm watching them as I break in.
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_05: Hi, Steve and Jeff.
• 10:31
  SPEAKER_05: Ho ho ho ho ho.
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_05: Anyway, I'm breaking in to get paid from our good friends at Appropriation Station, the company that's appropriated every ethnic lifestyle.
• 10:43
  SPEAKER_05: And now they have a new product that you can find in your local store.
• 10:48
  SPEAKER_05: A new appropriation from our good friends at Appropriation Station.
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_05: And I thank you for the money.
• 10:58
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• 11:09
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• 11:18
  SPEAKER_05: Like we always say at the kitchens of Appropriation Station, if your scalp don't sweat, not spicy enough yet.
• 11:25
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• 11:28
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• 11:32
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• 11:36
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• 11:41
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• 11:47
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• 11:51
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• 11:52
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• 11:54
  SPEAKER_05: Souls on Fire Kimchi.
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_05: You've earned the burn.
• 12:02
  SPEAKER_05: And now, back to those call-ins.
• 12:06
  SPEAKER_05: Okay.
• 12:06
  SPEAKER_05: This is from uh someone named Big Baby in Joliet, Illinois.
• 12:10
  SPEAKER_05: Sounds familiar, Steve.
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_05: Probably a friend of your dad's, I bet.
• 12:14
  SPEAKER_05: Anyway, here.
• 12:14
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, well, I don't have much time here.
• 12:16
  SPEAKER_02: Well, that's a guy that's wanting to use the phone.
• 12:18
  SPEAKER_02: Anyways, Dr.
• 12:19
  SPEAKER_02: Bishop Green, can you tell me what this string means in it?
• 12:23
  SPEAKER_02: I'm breaking into a home, a blue house on Mulberry Street, and all of a sudden this car pulls up, and this guy comes out screaming at me.
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_02: I put two shots in his head, shoot a neighbor for not minding his own business, and then I race away, only to be caught by a cop for having a broken taillight.
• 12:40
  SPEAKER_02: So I kill him too.
• 12:41
  SPEAKER_02: Can you tell me what that means?
• 12:43
  SPEAKER_03: Hmm, yes, yes.
• 12:45
  SPEAKER_03: I think you need to speak to somebody who isn't about dreams to talk about your name.
• 12:50
  SPEAKER_03: Big baby, a diaper fetish, maybe full of shit.
• 12:54
  SPEAKER_03: But the the dream itself clearly just means that you are not getting parole.
• 12:59
  SPEAKER_05: Wow, that is great insight.
• 13:01
  SPEAKER_06: And makes me feel kind of good.
• 13:03
  SPEAKER_06: No offense to Big Baby, but Dr.
• 13:05
  SPEAKER_05: Jolene made a great point.
• 13:06
  SPEAKER_05: I wonder about using the name Big Baby around Joliet Penitentiary, you know?
• 13:11
  SPEAKER_05: I don't think I'd want to do that.
• 13:12
  SPEAKER_03: But layers upon layers, it's always an onion.
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_05: Next one, Ivan for Brooklyn.
• 13:16
  SPEAKER_05: Oh, Ivan, Ivan's line seems to be dead.
• 13:18
  SPEAKER_05: Uh, I think Big Baby got to him.
• 13:20
  SPEAKER_05: Oh, wait, we've got another one.
• 13:21
  SPEAKER_05: Jeff, why don't you take one here?
• 13:23
  SPEAKER_06: Yeah, this is from Claire from Omaha.
• 13:26
  SPEAKER_06: That's a popular name.
• 13:28
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 13:29
  SPEAKER_00: Hey, Doc.
• 13:30
  SPEAKER_00: I've been having this recurring dream for the past couple months.
• 13:33
  SPEAKER_00: In the dream, I'm the most famous and most powerful person in the entire world.
• 13:39
  SPEAKER_00: I run a whole company and I get the credit for everything that goes right and none of the blame for the stuff that goes wrong.
• 13:46
  SPEAKER_00: I actually went to college and people bow at my feet and never make any decisions without my approval.
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_00: In fact, I actually make all the decisions.
• 13:57
  SPEAKER_00: I live in a studio-like home that actually has two bathrooms, one for men and one for women.
• 14:03
  SPEAKER_00: And I get paid like every two weeks for the amount of salary I was promised, and people still call me Miss Claire.
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_00: What do you think that means?
• 14:11
  SPEAKER_06: I don't know exactly what it means because I'm not a dream expert, but the one thing I do know for sure is Claire, you're dreaming.
• 14:17
  SPEAKER_06: Oh yes.
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_05: We do want to open negotiations, but we don't want them too open.
• 14:21
  SPEAKER_05: You know what I mean?
• 14:22
  SPEAKER_06: Like a little.
• 14:22
  SPEAKER_06: And it does kind of go back to the big baby thing for a second here.
• 14:26
  SPEAKER_06: Big baby, you know, scary guy.
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_06: To be honest with you, I kind of felt better when we had the dogs in the studio.
• 14:32
  SPEAKER_06: Now we got a bunch of parrots, and I don't know if I feel as safe.
• 14:35
  SPEAKER_06: Doc, do you think that that's going to be a problem for my future dreams, the sphere?
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_03: I don't know if it'll be a problem in your future dreams.
• 14:43
  SPEAKER_03: I do think we should look at how you only want things a little open, how tight you want things.
• 14:49
  SPEAKER_03: I think that's something that we should maybe look at again, maybe in the future.
• 14:53
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, that goes back to the Impella, had a very tight steering radius.
• 14:57
  SPEAKER_05: You know?
• 14:57
  SPEAKER_06: Yeah, she's good.
• 14:58
  SPEAKER_06: I'm a little uncomfortable with the word tight and talking about your mom's car and stuff.
• 15:02
  SPEAKER_05: Oh, you know.
• 15:02
  SPEAKER_06: But you digress.
• 15:03
  SPEAKER_05: Hey, my mom had a baby at 90.
• 15:05
  SPEAKER_05: Come on, right?
• 15:06
  SPEAKER_06: I mean, I wasn't gonna go.
• 15:08
  SPEAKER_05: She can kind of do whatever she wants, right?
• 15:10
  SPEAKER_05: You know, yeah, that's true.
• 15:11
  SPEAKER_05: Oh, she could do whatever.
• 15:12
  SPEAKER_06: Steve, it looks like Ian Ian is on with us.
• 15:15
  SPEAKER_06: So should we bring him on for this question?
• 15:17
  SPEAKER_06: Yeah, Ian, Ian, Ian.
• 15:19
  SPEAKER_06: Yeah, Ian Schmazel.
• 15:21
  SPEAKER_01: Thanks, Steve and Jeff.
• 15:22
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, my dream goes like this.
• 15:24
  SPEAKER_01: I'm at a nightclub and I end up meeting this older woman.
• 15:28
  SPEAKER_01: She's like really attractive.
• 15:29
  SPEAKER_01: She's like in her 60s, and I found myself thinking about, you know, a hot daughter, and and we were drinking a bit, and all of a sudden she's asked me if I'd ever fantasized and had ever experienced a mother-daughter threesome.
• 15:43
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, no, but you're reading my mind.
• 15:47
  SPEAKER_01: And uh she said, Well, fine, let's let's go.
• 15:50
  SPEAKER_01: So we left and we went back to her place.
• 15:53
  SPEAKER_01: She turns on the hall light and shouts upstairs, Mom, are you still awake?
• 15:57
  SPEAKER_06: I I don't know what to what that means, but Doc, can you help us with that?
• 16:00
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, sure.
• 16:01
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, that one's obvious.
• 16:03
  SPEAKER_03: You need to double date with Steve and his mom.
• 16:06
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, that's probably true.
• 16:08
  SPEAKER_05: Hey, that sounds like fun.
• 16:09
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, they probably have plastic on their couches too.
• 16:12
  SPEAKER_05: Oh, yeah, they got the plastic on the we'll we'll make some mac and cheese.
• 16:15
  SPEAKER_05: We'll get a bunch of the pop-off.
• 16:17
  SPEAKER_05: Oh, you know, that's why we use that.
• 16:19
  SPEAKER_03: Everybody will be sucking on those were their originals.
• 16:22
  SPEAKER_06: Oh gosh, yeah.
• 16:23
  SPEAKER_06: Steve, you know what's funny is we've had a lot of professionals on, and some of them are a little drier, you know, more serious.
• 16:29
  SPEAKER_06: But Dr.
• 16:30
  SPEAKER_06: Jolene, you really have a good sense of humor, and it feels like some of this is uh it's just more lighthearted, and it's really cool because it's not as threatening to me.
• 16:40
  SPEAKER_05: And you know, she's not as dry because even though she wrote this book, not all dreams are wet.
• 16:46
  SPEAKER_05: See, see the balance both of that, yeah.
• 16:49
  SPEAKER_05: The yang, you know, the yeah, see that?
• 16:52
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, but but I digress.
• 16:53
  SPEAKER_05: Anyway, doctor, uh that kind of comedic technique, is that common in your profession?
• 16:57
  SPEAKER_03: It is.
• 16:58
  SPEAKER_03: I appreciate that you noticed it in me.
• 17:00
  SPEAKER_03: I don't know about the profession as a whole, but yes, I have found that talking about dreams, it doesn't have to be serious all the time.
• 17:08
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, what are dreams, right?
• 17:10
  SPEAKER_03: They're nighttime entertainment.
• 17:12
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, yeah, that's right.
• 17:13
  SPEAKER_05: It's like Netflix for the mind.
• 17:15
  SPEAKER_06: Steve, doesn't your mom like usually have a drink while she's having a dream?
• 17:18
  SPEAKER_05: Oh, she has a drink while she's doing everything.
• 17:21
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, she wakes up, she's still got a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of keeping it lubricated while we're dreaming, while we're doing anything.
• 17:28
  SPEAKER_07: Oh, yeah.
• 17:28
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, no, we should we should enjoy things.
• 17:31
  SPEAKER_03: We don't have to always overanalyze, you know.
• 17:34
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, unless I'm charging you, and then we can spend some extra time just really diving deep.
• 17:39
  SPEAKER_03: But yeah, yeah, you you really do need to help the patient at those times.
• 17:43
  SPEAKER_03: Uh and sometimes humor is the best way to really see the light.
• 17:48
  SPEAKER_05: That is a great point, Doc.
• 17:50
  SPEAKER_05: Can you give us an example of maybe a patient that was really serious and that needed that lift, that humorous lift, that nighttime entertainment.
• 17:58
  SPEAKER_05: And you were able to bring that to this patient.
• 18:01
  SPEAKER_03: Uh yes, just last week, a guy came into the office.
• 18:03
  SPEAKER_03: He had this really alarming joke uh dream.
• 18:07
  SPEAKER_03: And um, so in his dream, his name is Bob, and he got a new rifle for Christmas.
• 18:13
  SPEAKER_03: So he decides he's gonna try bear hunting in Alaska.
• 18:16
  SPEAKER_03: You know, where everyone starts.
• 18:18
  SPEAKER_05: That's something everybody brand new to a rifle should go hunt bears in Alaska.
• 18:22
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, absolutely.
• 18:22
  SPEAKER_05: Oh, yeah.
• 18:23
  SPEAKER_05: First, that's that's where you start.
• 18:24
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
• 18:25
  SPEAKER_03: But step one.
• 18:26
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 18:27
  SPEAKER_03: Right?
• 18:28
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 18:28
  SPEAKER_03: So uh he he goes to Alaska, he flies to Alaska, Arctic Ocean, not Atlantic, but still, right?
• 18:35
  SPEAKER_03: You see.
• 18:36
  SPEAKER_05: Um Pacific, though, huh?
• 18:39
  SPEAKER_05: You know?
• 18:40
  SPEAKER_05: It's over that direction, eh?
• 18:42
  SPEAKER_03: Yep, when you go to the other end, you're Pacific.
• 18:44
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 18:45
  SPEAKER_03: Uh and so uh he he spots a small brown bear and he shoots it.
• 18:51
  SPEAKER_03: So uh, but right after that, there's this tap on his shoulder, right?
• 18:55
  SPEAKER_03: And he turns around and he sees a big black bear.
• 18:59
  SPEAKER_03: And the black bear says, Well, that was a mistake, Bob.
• 19:03
  SPEAKER_03: That bear was my cousin, and I'm gonna give you two choices.
• 19:06
  SPEAKER_03: Either I maul you to death or we have sex.
• 19:10
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, he considers it.
• 19:11
  SPEAKER_05: With bears, there's a difference.
• 19:12
  SPEAKER_05: I mean, wait.
• 19:14
  SPEAKER_03: It's he we're walking a fine line, right?
• 19:17
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 19:18
  SPEAKER_03: But in the dream, this was the choice.
• 19:20
  SPEAKER_05: Okay.
• 19:20
  SPEAKER_05: In the dream it was different.
• 19:22
  SPEAKER_05: Okay, okay, yeah.
• 19:22
  SPEAKER_05: It's entertainment, right?
• 19:23
  SPEAKER_05: Okay, okay.
• 19:24
  SPEAKER_03: He considers it and he decides to accept the latter alternative.
• 19:29
  SPEAKER_03: The latter alternative.
• 19:31
  SPEAKER_03: So the black bear has his way with him.
• 19:34
  SPEAKER_03: He's sore for a couple of weeks, he soon recovers, he vows revenge, he's going to head back to Alaska, and he finds the black bear, he shoots it dead.
• 19:43
  SPEAKER_03: Right after that, there's another tap on his shoulder.
• 19:48
  SPEAKER_03: This time, it is a huge grizzly bear standing right next to him.
• 19:53
  SPEAKER_03: The grizzly bear says, Well, that was a mistake, Bob.
• 19:57
  SPEAKER_03: That bear was my cousin.
• 19:59
  SPEAKER_03: You've got two choices.
• 20:01
  SPEAKER_03: Either I maul you to death or we have rough sex.
• 20:06
  SPEAKER_05: Like bears have not rough sex, right?
• 20:08
  SPEAKER_03: Again, in the dream, the complexities of these thought processes.
• 20:12
  SPEAKER_06: You know, like that onion you were talking about.
• 20:15
  SPEAKER_06: Totally.
• 20:16
  SPEAKER_06: I do need to point out, I think Steve is an authority on bears.
• 20:21
  SPEAKER_03: That's something that we should discuss later, too.
• 20:23
  SPEAKER_05: You mean like football or dub bears?
• 20:25
  SPEAKER_05: I score about as often as they do, but I digress.
• 20:27
  SPEAKER_05: But anyway, that's all right.
• 20:29
  SPEAKER_03: All right, so the grizzly bear has his way with it.
• 20:33
  SPEAKER_03: He decides to cooperate and not be mauled to death.
• 20:36
  SPEAKER_03: It has his way with him.
• 20:38
  SPEAKER_03: He survives.
• 20:39
  SPEAKER_03: This time it takes several months, but he fully recovers.
• 20:43
  SPEAKER_03: Now he's completely outraged.
• 20:45
  SPEAKER_03: So he goes back to Alaska, he manages to track down the grizzly bear, he shoots it.
• 20:53
  SPEAKER_03: He feels sweet revenge.
• 20:55
  SPEAKER_03: And then moments later, a tape on his shoulder.
• 21:01
  SPEAKER_05: A lot of cousins.
• 21:03
  SPEAKER_03: Uh-huh.
• 21:04
  SPEAKER_03: He turns around.
• 21:05
  SPEAKER_03: This is a giant polar bear standing there.
• 21:09
  SPEAKER_03: Again, Arctic Ocean.
• 21:11
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah.
• 21:12
  SPEAKER_03: At this point, Bob turns to me.
• 21:14
  SPEAKER_03: He says, What does this dream mean?
• 21:16
  SPEAKER_03: And this is where I get serious.
• 21:19
  SPEAKER_03: I look Bob straight in the eyes, and I say, Bob, it's obvious you are not going to Alaska for the hunting.
• 21:29
  SPEAKER_05: Wow, yeah.
• 21:31
  SPEAKER_05: Alaska's like his impala, maybe.
• 21:34
  SPEAKER_06: Yeah, that was great.
• 21:36
  SPEAKER_06: And I'm sure that that really happened, but it sounds really familiar.
• 21:40
  SPEAKER_06: Well, she'd say it if it didn't happen, Jeff.
• 21:42
  SPEAKER_06: I mean, uh yeah, there's no doubt.
• 21:44
  SPEAKER_06: Of course it happened.
• 21:45
  SPEAKER_06: Doesn't it ring a bell, Steve, that we've heard something like that, or that we've heard that story before?
• 21:51
  SPEAKER_06: I don't I don't know exactly.
• 21:53
  SPEAKER_05: You know, when we had the joke writer on, who has by the way owes us some jokes, but I digress.
• 21:58
  SPEAKER_05: The joke writer told A joke very similar to that.
• 22:02
  SPEAKER_05: Joey.
• 22:03
  SPEAKER_05: Joey.
• 22:04
  SPEAKER_05: Joey Bishop Schwartzman.
• 22:06
  unknown: Wait.
• 22:06
  SPEAKER_06: Wow.
• 22:07
  SPEAKER_06: So are you related to Joey?
• 22:10
  SPEAKER_03: Well, it just so happens that yes, yes, I am.
• 22:14
  SPEAKER_03: Yes, he's my brother.
• 22:15
  SPEAKER_03: He was uh once removed, twice, twice.
• 22:19
  SPEAKER_03: Anyway, he was removed by force.
• 22:21
  SPEAKER_05: I bet he's been thrown out of a lot of places.
• 22:24
  SPEAKER_06: He's a riot.
• 22:26
  SPEAKER_06: So that that's interesting.
• 22:27
  SPEAKER_05: If he's your brother and you're writing jokes, are you really a doctor of dreams?
• 22:32
  SPEAKER_03: Oh my gosh, absolutely.
• 22:34
  SPEAKER_03: Yes, I get some of my best jokes from listening to people's dreams.
• 22:37
  SPEAKER_03: God, some people's dreams are fucking hilarious.
• 22:42
  SPEAKER_06: In fairness, Steve, the story about the Buick, we've gotten a lot of mileage out of that over the years.
• 22:46
  SPEAKER_05: So Jeff, it actually was an impala, but I digress.
• 22:50
  SPEAKER_05: The mileage was outstanding.
• 22:51
  SPEAKER_05: The steering, it had very fine bones in the steering wheel and the lines in the back, especially.
• 22:59
  SPEAKER_05: Jeff, we shouldn't have started talking about this.
• 23:01
  SPEAKER_06: But I think it's the best of both worlds because it's entertaining and informative.
• 23:06
  SPEAKER_05: It's not maybe exactly what we expected, but you know, when you think about it, aren't dreams kind of funny?
• 23:12
  SPEAKER_05: I think the doctor has a point.
• 23:14
  SPEAKER_05: I mean, in every dream, you're either lost or you're falling or you're drowning or you're flying, right?
• 23:20
  SPEAKER_05: Exactly.
• 23:21
  SPEAKER_05: Those are all pretty funny, right?
• 23:23
  SPEAKER_06: Sounds like an amusement park.
• 23:24
  SPEAKER_06: Yeah.
• 23:24
  SPEAKER_06: Right?
• 23:25
  SPEAKER_05: That's what you're kind of doing it in or it sounds like sounds like my mom's house on a Saturday night.
• 23:29
  SPEAKER_05: Getting to the truth, to the core, to the stem, to the seeds.
• 23:32
  SPEAKER_05: We we we just really got to it all there.
• 23:35
  SPEAKER_05: Right to the flower top leaves.
• 23:37
  SPEAKER_05: I think we've got everything.
• 23:39
  SPEAKER_03: It's all about going in deep.
• 23:40
  SPEAKER_03: It is absolutely getting deep, deep into it.
• 23:44
  SPEAKER_05: Oh, my mom always used to say that too.
• 23:46
  SPEAKER_05: I have to agree.
• 23:47
  SPEAKER_05: God, I feel like a cigarette right now.
• 23:49
  SPEAKER_06: I will in about 10 minutes.
• 23:50
  SPEAKER_06: Yeah.
• 23:51
  SPEAKER_06: It's it's fascinating.
• 23:52
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, I wish we had more time to hear about you know, dreams or or some more jokes, because you know, you and Joey, I bet we we gotta get the two of you together.
• 24:00
  SPEAKER_05: Boy, you'd really fling the jokes.
• 24:01
  SPEAKER_05: But it looks like we are just about out of time.
• 24:03
  SPEAKER_05: And since they kind of let us in here when they really weren't supposed to, so I don't wanna I don't want to make them too mad.
• 24:09
  SPEAKER_05: We probably are gonna have to end the show.
• 24:10
  SPEAKER_05: But thank you, Jolene, Dr.
• 24:12
  SPEAKER_05: Jolene, for joining us today.
• 24:14
  SPEAKER_03: Thank you, Dr.
• 24:14
  SPEAKER_03: Jake.
• 24:15
  SPEAKER_03: Thank you.
• 24:15
  SPEAKER_03: Thank you for having me.
• 24:17
  SPEAKER_03: And speaking of having me, did you hear the one about how many therapists it takes to change a light bulb?
• 24:21
  SPEAKER_03: No, only one, but it takes a long time, and the light bulb has to want to change.
• 24:28
  SPEAKER_03: Inside baseball comedy there.
• 24:30
  SPEAKER_06: Several months of billing.
• 24:31
  SPEAKER_06: To be consistent with this episode, I assume we're talking about screwing the light bulb on as well.
• 24:36
  SPEAKER_05: Well, probably and Jeff, you know, I'm I'm no dream doctor, but at some point I gotta say, I don't think you're here for the illumination.
• 24:44
  SPEAKER_05: You know what I'm saying?
• 24:45
  SPEAKER_06: I do.
• 24:45
  SPEAKER_06: So I have a lot to think about.
• 24:47
  SPEAKER_06: Some of it is even about dreams.
• 24:49
  SPEAKER_05: I gotta think you've had some bizarre dreams in your life.
• 24:53
  SPEAKER_05: You may not feel comfortable sharing them in front of this big platform right now, but I bet you've had some strange dreams.
• 24:59
  SPEAKER_06: My dreams mostly right now are trying to find a way to get into the studio without getting bit by those parrots.
• 25:05
  SPEAKER_06: Because Steve, it's turning out these parrots are almost more aggressive than the dogs.
• 25:10
  SPEAKER_05: Well, yeah, and they know they know swear words.
• 25:12
  SPEAKER_05: I I've never even heard.
• 25:13
  SPEAKER_05: And oh, please, you know my mom.
• 25:14
  SPEAKER_05: I've heard everything.
• 25:15
  SPEAKER_05: I've never heard some of these.
• 25:16
  SPEAKER_05: But I digress.
• 25:17
  SPEAKER_05: Well, Doctor, thank you very much for coming in.
• 25:20
  SPEAKER_05: And boy, Jeff.
• 25:21
  SPEAKER_06: Say hi to your brother for us.
• 25:22
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, say hi to Joey and tell him he wants to get us those jokes.
• 25:25
  SPEAKER_05: Hopefully, we're gonna be in back in the big studio next time.
• 25:28
  SPEAKER_05: We'll get those negotiations going, we'll get the the good feelings, we'll get the reunification, we'll be reunited because it feels so good.
• 25:36
  SPEAKER_05: Reunited because you know it's understood.
• 25:38
  SPEAKER_03: I hope that all of your dreams come true and that you're able to get in wherever you want to.
• 25:43
  SPEAKER_06: Well, Dr.
• 25:44
  SPEAKER_06: Jolene, thank you.
• 25:45
  SPEAKER_06: And yeah, and everybody needs to pick up your book.
• 25:47
  SPEAKER_06: What is that book called again?
• 25:49
  SPEAKER_03: Not all dreams are wet.
• 25:51
  SPEAKER_05: I'm not gonna read that because I didn't know that.
• 25:53
  SPEAKER_05: I didn't know any of them were wet.
• 25:54
  SPEAKER_05: Been a while.
• 25:55
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, you know, we we should really get our guests some more things for being on the show.
• 25:59
  SPEAKER_05: Johnny, tell us what she's gonna get for being on our show.
• 26:03
  SPEAKER_05: All right, Steve.
• 26:04
  SPEAKER_05: Our producer, Miss Claire, decided that our guests should be rewarded the same way the employees are rewarded.
• 26:10
  SPEAKER_05: So here's what we have for our guests.
• 26:13
  SPEAKER_05: First, a totally useless medical card that she can't use anywhere.
• 26:18
  SPEAKER_05: Next, a ride with Uber Our Lyft at her own expense past the Farnum Hotel, combining outdated elegance with deferred maintenance.
• 26:27
  SPEAKER_05: If it ain't broke, it ain't the Farnum.
• 26:29
  SPEAKER_05: And last but not least, wait, least but not last, it's a parrot.
• 26:34
  SPEAKER_05: A dead parrot that we used to have in the studio, but I got scared of.
• 26:40
  SPEAKER_05: So it's dead now, and she's free to make any comedy routine she wants to about it.
• 26:46
  SPEAKER_05: Watch out for copyright violations.
• 26:49
  SPEAKER_05: Be sure and follow or subscribe to the Steve and Jeff Show wherever you listen to podcasts.
• 26:55
  SPEAKER_05: This is Johnny speaking.
• 26:57
  SPEAKER_05: I still won't be paid next time, but I'll see you soon.
• 27:00
  SPEAKER_05: Maybe from my car.
• 27:02
  SPEAKER_05: Good night.