Latest / Two Ts In A Pod with Teddi Mellencamp and Tamra Judge / Teddi's Back

Transcript

Teddi's Back · Two Ts In A Pod with Teddi Mellencamp and Tamra Judge

• 0:02
  Speaker 1: This is Teddy Teapot. Hi, guys, I am so happy
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: to be back here with y'all on Teddy Teapot. Give
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: me something a little, you know. With everything that's been
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: going on, it's just such a crazy time and I'm
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: so happy to be here with my friend Tanya. Thank
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: you for joining me. Who thanks for having me. I
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: was like, I can't imagine doing a podcast, my first
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: one back after baby, without like someone I know and
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: trust and care about, and so of course I thought
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: of you. Oh that makes me feel very happy. I
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: appreciate it. I am honored to be your h co
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: host today for your first podcast back post baby, and
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: for anybody that doesn't know, which of course everybody knows,
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: but in case they can't, where do people find you?
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: And can you get tell them a little bit about you?
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: Oh my god, you're so funny. My name is Tanya
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: rad and you can find me at Tanya Read on
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: the Morning Show on the Morning Show a Kiss FM
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: on air of the Rhine Seacrest And then I do
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: the podcast Scrubbing In with Bectillian Tan your Red, which
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: you have been a guest on and that episode was
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: one of my favorites by the way, that was what
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: you guys have to go listen to Tanya's It's It's
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: a tongue twister, but Tanya's tampon show so funny. Actually've
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: been on the podcast multiple times, so that that was
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: your latest, uh the latest time that you were on.
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: But that was so funny. That was one of my
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: favorite episodes. That was so much fun and still unbelievable
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: and like, I'm I'm really hoping that my daughters have
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: quite some time before I have to deal with any
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: pools and tampons and whatnot. I mean, it's it's aroun
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: the corner teddy and just saying, I mean, at this
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: right now that we've got four kids, life is just
• 1:57
  Speaker 1: complete craziness. Tell us all about out like the story,
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: like where where did we leave you? What was happening?
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: And where are you now? Okay, so we left off
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: and I was like a couple of weeks before having
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: the baby, but it ended up being about a week
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: and a half, like after my last I had the
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: baby February UM and essentially like Pisces baby Pisces. People
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: say that's good. I don't know much about Pisces. Pisces
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: are good, You're that's a good yeah, oh good, alright,
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: So dumps of pisces um. The morning I had her,
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: like it was, you know, business as usual. Um, I
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: like went and did a I like did a spin
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: at my house and then like Edwin and I went
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: to the hospital, Like everything was great. The delivery like
• 2:45
  Speaker 1: was my easiest delivery so far. And when people say
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: easy deliveries, it's super annoying, so I get it, but
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: like it really was, comparatively speaking, a super easy delivery,
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: and um, I was super like blessed that this all
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: happened before like coronavirus start. Everything started changing and like
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: Edwin was able to be in the room with me,
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: I was able to have visitors, like because all of
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: that shifted about after how long was your how long
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: was your what's the word I'm searching for, Like how
• 3:17
  Speaker 1: long was I in labor? Labor? Labor, labor labor? Um?
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: I was in labor. So I went in at like
• 3:24
  Speaker 1: ten am and I had her at like five. So
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: but at the same thing happens like my doctor will
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: like come and check me and he'll be like, oh, yeah,
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: you got some time, and then he'll leave the hospital
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: and then I am not kidding. Within like twenty minutes
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: of him leaving, I'm like in full blown labor, waiting
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: on him, like they have to bring somebody in to
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: be like, hey, um, I'm gonna be stepping in for
• 3:50
  Speaker 1: I'm not gonna say my doctor nay, but for blah
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: blah blah until you know you really have to go
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: because you're dilated at ten. And then I'm not kidding.
• 3:58
  Speaker 1: After after the after finally gets there, and I always
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: tease him because he's like super funny and casual and
• 4:03
  Speaker 1: he walks and he's like, EdWay, and you want to
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: help me to do the baby this time, And I'm like, no,
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: we are doing this now, Like what do you mean?
• 4:11
  Speaker 1: He puts Edwin and scrubs. He's like showing him the
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: doctor way to put it on. They're like doing the
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: hands scrubbing. I'm like, now is not the time, gentlemen.
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: Like I'm like like ready to go, right, wait, ten
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: centimeters dially? Do is I mean like you can fit
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: ten fingers in your vagina? Well? I didn't check. I
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: don't actually really I feel like nobody knows. It's just
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: like one of the things that they say I don't
• 4:39
  Speaker 1: actually know. But now that I'm thinking how many ten
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: fingers are and like measuring my fingers. It's frightening, but
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: like I know that they can feel the head in there,
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: and like all kinds you know, oh yeah, so um,
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: Edwin's like pretending he's gonna like be delivering dub and
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: I'm like panicked because I can just one is like
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: a squeamish guy anyway, and like the last time, like no,
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: so anyways, I start to have her. He's there like
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: in the position like he's going to fully deliver, and
• 5:11
  Speaker 1: then as soon as her head fully starts coming out,
• 5:13
  Speaker 1: he's like, no, doctor, no, doctor, I can't do it.
• 5:16
  Speaker 1: And they rotate places and so as of like having her,
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: I'm looking at him. I'm like, I told you I
• 5:22
  Speaker 1: was going to happen. I know, So you wasted all
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: those minutes. And the doctors like Teddy just focus and
• 5:28
  Speaker 1: push and I had forgotten how to push the right way.
• 5:31
  Speaker 1: You wouldn't know that. That was like I felt like, I,
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: you know, I've had two kids. I don't need to
• 5:36
  Speaker 1: do a refresher, but apparently I do. The doctor let
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: me get through the first set of pushing and then
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: he goes Um Teddy you're not supposed to blow the
• 5:43
  Speaker 1: air out like you forgot. And I'm like, you could
• 5:46
  Speaker 1: have reminded me, and he's like, right now you have
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: to push again, and then the second round to push
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: it like she was out and so then so she
• 5:53
  Speaker 1: she was born at five pm. And then did you
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: guys go home the next day? No, not at all.
• 5:58
  Speaker 1: So we we were there. I was having some I
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: might get a little emotional about. I was having some issues.
• 6:07
  Speaker 1: Right after I had her, everything was great. She latched
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: on perfectly, and like, you know, I was so excited
• 6:14
  Speaker 1: because crews had an issue latching because he was in
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: the nick you and so I was like so grateful,
• 6:20
  Speaker 1: and Tanya, latching is like latching onto my breath, latching
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: onto your nipple. I I'm aware I do not have children,
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: but I am aware of some of the leader. Okay,
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: well I don't know. You asked me ten centimeters is
• 6:33
  Speaker 1: tin fingers? I'm like, how much do I need to get?
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: So but I appreciate it. So, you know, the first day,
• 6:42
  Speaker 1: everything was going great and you know, she was latching
• 6:45
  Speaker 1: why we were in our own room. Everything was smooth
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: and she's happy, healthy and happy, and then um, day
• 6:53
  Speaker 1: two she started getting um like fussier, and that's when
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: we started realizing that like something was going um on
• 7:02
  Speaker 1: with like my colostrum, so um right after you know,
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: when your milk doesn't come in for a couple of days,
• 7:09
  Speaker 1: but your colostrums, like they call it like the liquid
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: gold for which is like for your baby. And um,
• 7:17
  Speaker 1: I was able to get a little bit of clustrum
• 7:19
  Speaker 1: out of my right out of one side, but nothing
• 7:22
  Speaker 1: out of the other. And so we didn't necessary we
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: didn't really know what was going on. So we had
• 7:26
  Speaker 1: like a lactation specialists come and all these doctors come
• 7:30
  Speaker 1: in and they start pumping like they used like an
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: industrial size pump and like so much. And what ended
• 7:37
  Speaker 1: up happening was that my um my boobs or my
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: breast essentially got so engorged and the milk came in
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: and everything was happening, but no milk could come out
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: because I had gotten my boobs done after Slate and Cruise,
• 7:54
  Speaker 1: and I had absolutely no idea that this would affect anything,
• 7:59
  Speaker 1: because I've had other friends that have gotten their boobs
• 8:02
  Speaker 1: done and they were totally able to breastfeed. But I got, wait,
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: do something, does something happen? And when you get your
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: boobs done, do they like close some sort of hole
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: that the milk comes out of. I guess because I
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: and you know, this is all things I learned after
• 8:16
  Speaker 1: the fact, and after like honestly over a week of
• 8:19
  Speaker 1: like doctor's appointments and lactation appointments and then actually going
• 8:22
  Speaker 1: to talk to my plastic surgeon like everything, because we
• 8:26
  Speaker 1: were still trying. I was still trying to breastfeed. I
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: was still latching her on and eventually coming out. The
• 8:33
  Speaker 1: milk wasn't coming out, But I guess because when I
• 8:35
  Speaker 1: got my boobs done, I had a nipple reconstruction, like
• 8:40
  Speaker 1: and they went in through that area. So what happened
• 8:42
  Speaker 1: is the milk came in, but no place for it
• 8:45
  Speaker 1: to come out because all of like the nerve endings
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: and everything had been switched and like you like making
• 8:52
  Speaker 1: me so sweaty. I mean, I it was painful. Was
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: it painful? Oh, I'll send you a picture. It was unbelievable.
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: I Mean there was a point in time where because
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: I was like, you know, there's something about like right
• 9:05
  Speaker 1: after you have a baby, like this craziness goes into
• 9:08
  Speaker 1: your head where're like I have to breastfeed, like, well,
• 9:10
  Speaker 1: at least for me, I can't speak. Anything I'm sharing
• 9:12
  Speaker 1: here you guys is like my personal experience and having kids.
• 9:17
  Speaker 1: So don't take this as you know, the mom shaming
• 9:19
  Speaker 1: can be like brutal over this kind of thing. So
• 9:21
  Speaker 1: I've already shamed myself enough. So I, um, you know,
• 9:27
  Speaker 1: we're pumping, We're doing everything we can, We're trying to latch.
• 9:30
  Speaker 1: She's getting upset, and you know, finally after a couple
• 9:33
  Speaker 1: of days, like Edwin's like what Teddy, Like, enough is enough?
• 9:37
  Speaker 1: Like the doctors told you that it's not gonna happen,
• 9:41
  Speaker 1: And it honestly was making me like so upset. I
• 9:45
  Speaker 1: had like friends coming to visit me in the hospital,
• 9:47
  Speaker 1: and I was like crying to them because I was like,
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: you know, I really wanted to breastfeed. I feel so
• 9:52
  Speaker 1: like there was a part of me that like felt
• 9:54
  Speaker 1: like so selfish that I ever even like got my
• 9:57
  Speaker 1: boobs done, you know, because like I I never I
• 10:01
  Speaker 1: never one. I never thought I was going to be
• 10:03
  Speaker 1: able to have another baby, but to like I had
• 10:06
  Speaker 1: no idea it was going to affect anything, and um,
• 10:10
  Speaker 1: so that was like so that was like a little
• 10:14
  Speaker 1: rough because you know, they're way worse problems, you know,
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: but but it's like sometimes it's like you you take it,
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: you like, why did I do that? Like yeah, it's
• 10:24
  Speaker 1: like like why not necessary? You know, Like I went
• 10:28
  Speaker 1: to all these places, and you know, it was finally
• 10:31
  Speaker 1: my husband that was like like came and gave me
• 10:33
  Speaker 1: a hug, and like, I mean, I'm not kidding. My
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: boobs were bigger than watermelons, hard as rocks, Like I
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: was starting to get infections and he was just like Teddy, please, honey,
• 10:43
  Speaker 1: just stop, like you know, and I said, but I
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: got those couple drops out of the one side, like
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: that should be you know, maybe it'll switch. And he's like, honey,
• 10:52
  Speaker 1: now they're going to have to start you on antibiotics.
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: You're getting you're making yourself sick um. And so then
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: I had to make the decision like you know, obviously
• 11:03
  Speaker 1: I'm going to do the feed my baby. So like
• 11:05
  Speaker 1: then I switched to formula, and you know, everything got
• 11:09
  Speaker 1: a lot more smooth. But it just, you know, I
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: feel like that's something I really didn't even take into
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: account when I got my boobs done, Like I you know,
• 11:20
  Speaker 1: one didn't think I was going to have another. But two,
• 11:22
  Speaker 1: I was like I had so many friends, so like
• 11:24
  Speaker 1: my thing is like I've just really had to work
• 11:29
  Speaker 1: on giving myself some grace and saying like obviously you
• 11:33
  Speaker 1: did everything you could do and you have a healthy,
• 11:36
  Speaker 1: happy baby and you know I you know, essentially like
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: I had to gear up to like tell my family
• 11:43
  Speaker 1: and tell Edwin's family, and nobody was upset and nobody,
• 11:46
  Speaker 1: you know, judged me or anything. Like everybody's like Teddy,
• 11:50
  Speaker 1: you know, like you didn't know anything. But it's like
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: there's already that shame that people like put on you
• 11:55
  Speaker 1: when you don't breastfeed your child, and then for you
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: to say it was because I got my boobs done,
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: it's just like double that and it sucks. It's like,
• 12:02
  Speaker 1: so that's so crappy that you even have to think
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: that way, you know what I mean. And it's like
• 12:07
  Speaker 1: you're already battling yourself internally and then to have to
• 12:09
  Speaker 1: think about that, it's just yeah, and it just it totally.
• 12:13
  Speaker 1: And it was just like that moment where it just
• 12:18
  Speaker 1: felt like it wouldn't end. Like I was like, you're
• 12:20
  Speaker 1: gonna figure this out. It's gonna figure it out. Tomorrow
• 12:23
  Speaker 1: is going to be the day. Tomorrow is gonna be
• 12:24
  Speaker 1: the day, and it just, you know, the fact that
• 12:26
  Speaker 1: it didn't happen, it just made me really sad. But
• 12:29
  Speaker 1: now I've kind of come to the point where like
• 12:31
  Speaker 1: maybe there's a reason for it, you know, in the
• 12:33
  Speaker 1: long run, like she um, we had to you know,
• 12:36
  Speaker 1: there was trying a bunch of different formulas to see
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: which work worked for her and made her stomach feel
• 12:41
  Speaker 1: the best, and like, you know, she's super happy and
• 12:44
  Speaker 1: healthy baby, and I just have to remember that that's
• 12:46
  Speaker 1: what's most important. That I'm able to feed my baby,
• 12:49
  Speaker 1: that she is healthy, that she is happy, and that's
• 12:52
  Speaker 1: what I really have to focus on, because I mean
• 12:54
  Speaker 1: it was hard in the hospital because there's also a
• 12:57
  Speaker 1: huge breastfeeding initiative, so like open you know, the lactation consultants,
• 13:01
  Speaker 1: they're double down and you know, on you and like
• 13:05
  Speaker 1: I just was in the hotel in the hospital room
• 13:07
  Speaker 1: in the middle of the night, just like with the pump,
• 13:09
  Speaker 1: just trying trying, trying to get anything out and not
• 13:12
  Speaker 1: even a drop and just watching not one bit come out,
• 13:15
  Speaker 1: and you're just like I know that that Edwin stepped
• 13:19
  Speaker 1: in was just like Teddy, like I love I've told
• 13:23
  Speaker 1: you this so many times. I love your relationship with
• 13:25
  Speaker 1: your husband so much because I think that you guys
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: really balance each other out. And he like, I love
• 13:32
  Speaker 1: you to death, but like you can be very were
• 13:34
  Speaker 1: very similar in the sense that like we'ld be very
• 13:36
  Speaker 1: determined or like you know what I mean, just hard
• 13:38
  Speaker 1: on ourselves and he's just always there to be like, babe,
• 13:42
  Speaker 1: like you did the best that you could. You know,
• 13:44
  Speaker 1: like I don't know, I just I love your relationship
• 13:46
  Speaker 1: so much, so I'm that made me really happy. When
• 13:48
  Speaker 1: you said that, thank you. I was like glad that
• 13:51
  Speaker 1: he like saw it too. It wasn't a moment like
• 13:53
  Speaker 1: where he was out of the room, but like when
• 13:54
  Speaker 1: they was like just relentless, relentless, and he was just like,
• 13:58
  Speaker 1: you know, it is what it is, honey. You have
• 14:01
  Speaker 1: a healthy, happy baby, Like that is amazing, Like we
• 14:05
  Speaker 1: had a miracle baby the last time you had to
• 14:07
  Speaker 1: do multiple rounds of IVF and this time you're thirty
• 14:11
  Speaker 1: eight years old and you've got pregnant naturally, Like this
• 14:14
  Speaker 1: is a miracle. Like we've got to focus on that.
• 14:16
  Speaker 1: And you know, ever ever since, like I've had days
• 14:19
  Speaker 1: where like you know, this is the first I've I've
• 14:23
  Speaker 1: spoken about it publicly at all because people can be
• 14:26
  Speaker 1: so brutal. Oh, people are the worst. Like I'm scared
• 14:30
  Speaker 1: to even show her with a bottle because people will
• 14:34
  Speaker 1: be like, why are you? What's wrong with you? And
• 14:36
  Speaker 1: then you have to feel like you have to justify
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: yourself to other people, and it's just, uh, so there's
• 14:42
  Speaker 1: that I can't honestly, I cannot even imagine. I feel
• 14:46
  Speaker 1: like the mom shaming is on like a whole another
• 14:48
  Speaker 1: level because I get it in like my dating life
• 14:51
  Speaker 1: and that's like so minimal compared to like the amount
• 14:55
  Speaker 1: of things that moms can get shamed for. It's crazy. Yeah,
• 14:59
  Speaker 1: So it's like I feel like almost better than I
• 15:02
  Speaker 1: was able to share it with you. But I also
• 15:04
  Speaker 1: like I'm already in a full sweat panicking of like
• 15:06
  Speaker 1: the aftermath of after this has been heard and I'm
• 15:09
  Speaker 1: gonna let the mom shaming hate mail come in, which
• 15:12
  Speaker 1: is like really something that like whether it's dating shame,
• 15:16
  Speaker 1: mom shame, whatever, the shaming is, like, I don't get it, Like,
• 15:19
  Speaker 1: have you ever in your life Tonya felt the need
• 15:22
  Speaker 1: to reach out to a stranger and say something making
• 15:25
  Speaker 1: to them No, and what I don't understand too. Is
• 15:28
  Speaker 1: it's like, like, obviously you wanted to breastfeed your daughter,
• 15:31
  Speaker 1: you know what I mean, Like your intention was there.
• 15:34
  Speaker 1: You were not physically able to do that because you
• 15:37
  Speaker 1: got your boobs done, and that's your choice, do you
• 15:40
  Speaker 1: know what I mean? Like that's something that you wanted
• 15:42
  Speaker 1: to do for yourself, and like that's you're allowed to
• 15:45
  Speaker 1: do that, you know what I mean to your life?
• 15:48
  Speaker 1: And had I known, I wouldn't have you know, like totally,
• 15:53
  Speaker 1: had they been like, hey, guess what, you might not
• 15:55
  Speaker 1: be able to do this, you probably would have been like, Okay,
• 15:58
  Speaker 1: hell no, I know you you're like a sense of person.
• 16:00
  Speaker 1: You're like you wouldn't I know for a fact that
• 16:02
  Speaker 1: they said that that was an option. You'd be like
• 16:04
  Speaker 1: I'm good. Yeah, like I'm good, even if there was
• 16:08
  Speaker 1: a small chap. Also, if I would have thought that
• 16:10
  Speaker 1: I could have got pregnant without you know, I v F,
• 16:13
  Speaker 1: I would have been like, well, you know, maybe it's
• 16:15
  Speaker 1: something to consider. But you know, all that being said,
• 16:20
  Speaker 1: you know, we're healthy, we're good. So I had an
• 16:22
  Speaker 1: easy delivery, I have a healthy baby. You know. Until
• 16:25
  Speaker 1: all of this, like social distancing and corona and everything started,
• 16:29
  Speaker 1: and we're like in a full another world. I know,
• 16:32
  Speaker 1: now you're your four children from the age twelve to
• 16:38
  Speaker 1: six six weeks. I have my stepdaughter Isabella, then their
• 16:43
  Speaker 1: slate and Crews, and then now Dove, and like the
• 16:47
  Speaker 1: other kids are old enough now where like they think
• 16:49
  Speaker 1: that she's like her their baby, so they want to
• 16:53
  Speaker 1: do everything, but like she's still a newborn, so it's
• 16:56
  Speaker 1: like there's that thin line that you want to be
• 16:59
  Speaker 1: able to like encourage the kids to help you. But
• 17:03
  Speaker 1: then like my son's like, let's let me take a
• 17:05
  Speaker 1: bath with her, and I'm like, he's like, can I
• 17:13
  Speaker 1: give her this to eat? It's my favorite yogurt. I'm like, no, wait,
• 17:19
  Speaker 1: does your stepdaughters she with you guys full time? She's
• 17:23
  Speaker 1: with us well, in the summer, it's two weeks on,
• 17:25
  Speaker 1: two weeks off, and then um during the school year,
• 17:29
  Speaker 1: she's normally with us every other weekend. But now there's
• 17:31
  Speaker 1: no school, so now we we've been having her more.
• 17:35
  Speaker 1: Got I got I got it? Yeah, so our kids
• 17:38
  Speaker 1: are in like week three, I think of homeschooling, so
• 17:44
  Speaker 1: it's like virtue and I can't do first grade math,
• 17:48
  Speaker 1: and I'm being really honest with it, Like I don't
• 17:51
  Speaker 1: know what this new math is that they teach, but
• 17:53
  Speaker 1: it is brutal. What is it you do? Like don't
• 17:57
  Speaker 1: carry numbers? It has like a special name. It's whole
• 18:00
  Speaker 1: new level of math. I've been watching YouTube's. I'm like
• 18:03
  Speaker 1: blocking it out for like finally I had to ask
• 18:06
  Speaker 1: the teacher. I'm like, can we do a zoom call
• 18:08
  Speaker 1: where like you explain it once and then sl takes
• 18:11
  Speaker 1: it from here because I can't do this. I wouldn't
• 18:14
  Speaker 1: be able to do it either. There's no chance. I don't.
• 18:16
  Speaker 1: I don't even there's no way. And then you have
• 18:19
  Speaker 1: to feel that that and then I have to be like, well,
• 18:20
  Speaker 1: I'm a good speller, just so you know, slight, just
• 18:22
  Speaker 1: so you know I am. I do have right, just
• 18:25
  Speaker 1: wait till you get to history class. I can really
• 18:27
  Speaker 1: help you out there, but math is going to be
• 18:30
  Speaker 1: a no for me. Yeah. So, I mean it's like
• 18:33
  Speaker 1: coming up with it. Like I'm sure you're the same
• 18:35
  Speaker 1: way with work and the radio show and everything. You
• 18:38
  Speaker 1: have to like kind of schedule your day. But at
• 18:41
  Speaker 1: some point, like my schedule goes like out the door
• 18:44
  Speaker 1: because there's four kids. I can't I literally cannot even imagine.
• 18:50
  Speaker 1: I can't. I really can't, because I'm like dealing with um.
• 18:53
  Speaker 1: For me, I think that the thing that's been so
• 18:55
  Speaker 1: hard is like I feed off of other people's energy,
• 18:57
  Speaker 1: and since I don't have that right now, it's like
• 19:00
  Speaker 1: a really weird thing. I think everybody has kind of
• 19:03
  Speaker 1: had this like a cloud of like anxiety and it's
• 19:06
  Speaker 1: just like this really weird feeling, you know. And so
• 19:08
  Speaker 1: I'm like trying to do everything I can to bring
• 19:10
  Speaker 1: like the normalcy or like the routine back in my life.
• 19:12
  Speaker 1: I'm actually going to start all in on Monday. I know.
• 19:16
  Speaker 1: I'm so happy to have you back. I've missed you.
• 19:18
  Speaker 1: I like, you know those whenever I'm like whenever you're texting,
• 19:23
  Speaker 1: I'm always like, yeah, I've got room, even though I've
• 19:25
  Speaker 1: been like fill it up, not for I know, you
• 19:31
  Speaker 1: always have like a waiting list of like weeks. You're like, Okay,
• 19:34
  Speaker 1: if anybody wants to start the program in ape or
• 19:36
  Speaker 1: what is I guess it is April, May or June,
• 19:38
  Speaker 1: and we have slots open. So and I texted you,
• 19:40
  Speaker 1: I was like, can I do it next week? I
• 19:41
  Speaker 1: was like really hoping for a friend card right there,
• 19:43
  Speaker 1: with that one because I think it's gonna help me
• 19:46
  Speaker 1: bring back the like the structure and the routine and
• 19:50
  Speaker 1: like just I don't know, kind of give me a
• 19:51
  Speaker 1: little bit, like reel me back into that headspace that
• 19:55
  Speaker 1: I think I like really thrive in. No, I mean,
• 19:57
  Speaker 1: and I was telling you, but I haven't. I guess
• 19:59
  Speaker 1: I haven't told our listeners yet. But I had to
• 20:03
  Speaker 1: actually go through the program myself, like a version, because
• 20:07
  Speaker 1: after I had Dov and then all of a sudden,
• 20:09
  Speaker 1: we're in our homes, I was like, go going to
• 20:12
  Speaker 1: snack every time I felt uneasy and like unnecessary snacking
• 20:17
  Speaker 1: or unnecessary alcohol like and I was I was realizing,
• 20:21
  Speaker 1: like I'm using this to cope, not because I'm actually hungry,
• 20:25
  Speaker 1: and I need to nip this in the butt, like
• 20:28
  Speaker 1: before it spirals back to where I was, you know,
• 20:32
  Speaker 1: five years ago. It's interesting that you bring this up
• 20:35
  Speaker 1: because the other day I posted something I did this
• 20:37
  Speaker 1: like hack for on Earth Ran Seacrest. It was like
• 20:40
  Speaker 1: how to um Like a girlfriend of mine told me
• 20:43
  Speaker 1: she's like she packs her breakfast and lunch the night before,
• 20:45
  Speaker 1: like she was if she was going to work, so
• 20:46
  Speaker 1: that she stops like just going randomly into the kitchen
• 20:49
  Speaker 1: and doing all that kind of stuff. And so I
• 20:51
  Speaker 1: posted that like tip, and I got like i'd say,
• 20:54
  Speaker 1: like the feedback was like this is such a great idea,
• 20:57
  Speaker 1: but there's always those few that trickle in, you know,
• 21:00
  Speaker 1: that are just like you should not be shaming people
• 21:02
  Speaker 1: if they want to eat a little extra, if you're
• 21:04
  Speaker 1: gonna gain weight during this quarantine, like whatever people need
• 21:06
  Speaker 1: to use to cope, blah blah. And I responded to
• 21:09
  Speaker 1: each and every one of them, and I actually got
• 21:11
  Speaker 1: a bunch of responses back, like apologizing, saying like, you
• 21:15
  Speaker 1: know what, you're absolutely right, And because I kept saying,
• 21:17
  Speaker 1: I was like, it's not about the weight. It's not
• 21:19
  Speaker 1: about the number. It's about what it's like mentally. It's
• 21:23
  Speaker 1: like giving me this structure for me what I eat
• 21:26
  Speaker 1: when I put my body is like it all just
• 21:28
  Speaker 1: kind of it's all one situation here. It's not about that.
• 21:33
  Speaker 1: And so it's like a very like um thoughtful response.
• 21:37
  Speaker 1: And then like I kept then they responded to like, oh,
• 21:39
  Speaker 1: you know what, like you're totally right, and I can
• 21:41
  Speaker 1: see that, and so I have no problem saying that
• 21:44
  Speaker 1: because it's like I do. It's I think whatever you
• 21:47
  Speaker 1: need to do right now, especially this time to cope.
• 21:49
  Speaker 1: It's like, do it whatever you need to do. But
• 21:53
  Speaker 1: for me, I need the structure. I need the like
• 21:56
  Speaker 1: I need it. Yeah, I mean I think it's to
• 21:59
  Speaker 1: eat each his own. And that's why why you know,
• 22:01
  Speaker 1: people will say the same thing to me, like, oh,
• 22:03
  Speaker 1: you shouldn't focus on that, And I'm like, here's my focus,
• 22:06
  Speaker 1: feeling my absolute best that I can in this time.
• 22:10
  Speaker 1: And if I'm not doing that, and if I'm not
• 22:13
  Speaker 1: setting myself up to feel my best, then I'm gonna
• 22:16
  Speaker 1: be at my worst. So whatever that means to you,
• 22:20
  Speaker 1: that's what's important. But for me, that means I have
• 22:23
  Speaker 1: to be moving my body. I have to do something
• 22:25
  Speaker 1: active every day. I have to have like some interaction
• 22:28
  Speaker 1: with others. So like even this even talking to you
• 22:31
  Speaker 1: right now, like it's filling up my tank. Um. I
• 22:34
  Speaker 1: have to know that I'm eating healthy foods to fuel
• 22:37
  Speaker 1: my body, because when I eat a bunch of junk food,
• 22:39
  Speaker 1: I'm lethargic, I'm unable to get stuff done, and it
• 22:42
  Speaker 1: just puts me in a different mind space. So those
• 22:46
  Speaker 1: are the tools I know I have to follow. Those
• 22:48
  Speaker 1: may not be yours, but most of the time, the
• 22:50
  Speaker 1: people that get angry and reach out, so you shouldn't
• 22:52
  Speaker 1: shame are the ones that want to make those changes
• 22:55
  Speaker 1: but aren't ready yet. Yeah, so it's like, you know,
• 22:59
  Speaker 1: you just kind of have to take it and know, like,
• 23:02
  Speaker 1: you know, we're all where we're we all are doing
• 23:04
  Speaker 1: the best we can, and that is okay. Some days,
• 23:09
  Speaker 1: some days were disasters and some days were great. Totally totally,
• 23:15
  Speaker 1: but I'm bad. I'm ready to be back. I'm happy
• 23:17
  Speaker 1: to be in daily communication with you again. I'm we're
• 23:20
  Speaker 1: excited about that. Oh yeah, Monday is a big day
• 23:24
  Speaker 1: for us. I'm like, well, you're always so positive to like,
• 23:27
  Speaker 1: I love you know, I love working with people that
• 23:30
  Speaker 1: start the day regardless of what's going on, you have
• 23:34
  Speaker 1: a kindness to you and I think that's so important.
• 23:37
  Speaker 1: You know, you have a kindness and a light, and
• 23:39
  Speaker 1: when you have those things, it's like such an amazing
• 23:42
  Speaker 1: experience to coach somebody that's like that, because you're I
• 23:47
  Speaker 1: don't even know how to put it into but I
• 23:49
  Speaker 1: don't know. I know, I know exactly what you mean
• 23:51
  Speaker 1: because I feel it on the other end, like I
• 23:54
  Speaker 1: feel it like as you're I don't know a student.
• 23:57
  Speaker 1: I don't know what I would call myself, um, but
• 24:00
  Speaker 1: I feel it on the other end because I think
• 24:02
  Speaker 1: it is tough. It's it's not an easy program for sure.
• 24:05
  Speaker 1: So it is like it's it's there are moments where
• 24:08
  Speaker 1: you're just like, but I feel like this love and
• 24:10
  Speaker 1: you feel like you're all in it together, and I
• 24:13
  Speaker 1: don't know this, this is weird. It's like a sense
• 24:14
  Speaker 1: of community that I'm like obviously lacking right now. So yeah,
• 24:18
  Speaker 1: it's not hard, I'm like, and you know, and and
• 24:22
  Speaker 1: it's it's comfort knowing that you're not I mean, we
• 24:25
  Speaker 1: are not in this alone, no matter what it is,
• 24:27
  Speaker 1: no matter if it's all it, no matter if it's
• 24:29
  Speaker 1: your happy hour with your girlfriends that you have or
• 24:31
  Speaker 1: whatever it is. I think so many of us feel like,
• 24:35
  Speaker 1: you know, when you start to feel alone and then
• 24:37
  Speaker 1: instead of taking action, you just become more and more alone,
• 24:41
  Speaker 1: Like you just distance yourself even more. Because it's so
• 24:44
  Speaker 1: hard sometimes to say, like, you know, it was probably
• 24:47
  Speaker 1: you probably thought about sending that text for a couple
• 24:49
  Speaker 1: of days before you actually sent it, you know, like
• 24:53
  Speaker 1: it's you know, it's hard to take action. So even
• 24:55
  Speaker 1: if it's journaling or whatever it may be to make
• 24:59
  Speaker 1: you feel better, like just putting your feelings out there
• 25:02
  Speaker 1: to remember this time. I mean, that's even what I've
• 25:04
  Speaker 1: been saying to my kids, Like because my kids, like
• 25:07
  Speaker 1: my daughter is doing an online play right now because
• 25:09
  Speaker 1: the place she normally does, they're they've canceled. How do
• 25:13
  Speaker 1: they do that? Do you do it for three hours
• 25:16
  Speaker 1: on Tuesdays? I'm like, God bless her that she can
• 25:18
  Speaker 1: sit there and do this or three hours over like
• 25:21
  Speaker 1: that's actually nice for you. Uh yeah, I'm like, oh
• 25:25
  Speaker 1: my goodness, But like they are missing out on so
• 25:28
  Speaker 1: many things that they are that they're used to. But
• 25:31
  Speaker 1: then I put all this pressure on myself like gosh,
• 25:33
  Speaker 1: you know, normally I have them so so many activities,
• 25:36
  Speaker 1: and we were doing so many things and we're having
• 25:37
  Speaker 1: so much fun. And then I actually asked my kids
• 25:40
  Speaker 1: the other day like how are you doing, and they
• 25:43
  Speaker 1: were like, my daughter's slate goes. Mom, I have actually
• 25:46
  Speaker 1: been loving this time. We've had so much together time.
• 25:50
  Speaker 1: And I was like, oh, I was like, I'm putting
• 25:54
  Speaker 1: all this pressure on myself and my kids are happy,
• 26:00
  Speaker 1: So like what am I doing? Why am I putting this? Like?
• 26:03
  Speaker 1: Why am I adding this extra pressure like our kids.
• 26:06
  Speaker 1: And also like at the end of the day too,
• 26:08
  Speaker 1: it's like if they get a little behind on their schoolwork,
• 26:10
  Speaker 1: like it's fine, we all ended up fine. I don't
• 26:13
  Speaker 1: remember what I did in first grade, like you know, yeah,
• 26:17
  Speaker 1: and I think I've also learned, like and this will
• 26:19
  Speaker 1: go the same, Like we also need to talk about
• 26:21
  Speaker 1: your boyfriend by the way, who uh yeah, well we'll
• 26:25
  Speaker 1: get into that in one second. But um, there's you know,
• 26:29
  Speaker 1: so much of this that's been going on right now,
• 26:32
  Speaker 1: like with the kids with everything. At first, like I
• 26:35
  Speaker 1: was bawled up and like not wanting to talk about
• 26:37
  Speaker 1: it with them, you know, like only giving them the
• 26:39
  Speaker 1: information that like I felt like was completely like kid proof.
• 26:43
  Speaker 1: And then I realized, like I can have a real
• 26:45
  Speaker 1: conversation with them, Like the other morning, like I was like, sorry,
• 26:48
  Speaker 1: if mom seems like a little bit um stressed, I
• 26:51
  Speaker 1: am a little stressed today. I have a lot of
• 26:53
  Speaker 1: press I need to do, you know, for the show
• 26:55
  Speaker 1: because it shows about to start airing on April fifteenth,
• 26:58
  Speaker 1: And with that, you know, and not being able to
• 27:01
  Speaker 1: like I'm doing them on my computer with you guys
• 27:03
  Speaker 1: all here. I've just been feeling stressed, So sorry if
• 27:05
  Speaker 1: you're feeling that way, and like Slate like it was
• 27:07
  Speaker 1: like thanks, Mom, andreis like no problem, Mom, you don't
• 27:10
  Speaker 1: even seem stress, you know, Like but just talking to them,
• 27:14
  Speaker 1: talking to the people in your life and telling them
• 27:16
  Speaker 1: what you need or how you're feeling, it's such a
• 27:18
  Speaker 1: game changer. Yeah, I was gonna ask you do you
• 27:21
  Speaker 1: tell them like do they know what's going on? Like,
• 27:24
  Speaker 1: I mean, obviously they know what's going on, but like
• 27:26
  Speaker 1: do you share the news with them or like how
• 27:28
  Speaker 1: much do you tell them about all this? I don't,
• 27:31
  Speaker 1: you know, I didn't feel like it was healthy for
• 27:33
  Speaker 1: me even to keep the news on and constantly listen
• 27:37
  Speaker 1: like I was spiraling. So I'm more of like tell
• 27:39
  Speaker 1: me what I need to know and I'll do I'm
• 27:42
  Speaker 1: you know, we really talked about like the importance of
• 27:44
  Speaker 1: like washing your hands and you know those types of things.
• 27:46
  Speaker 1: They their school has done a nice job of just
• 27:49
  Speaker 1: like explaining coronavirus to them, um and you know the
• 27:54
  Speaker 1: importance of like staying home and all of that. But
• 27:58
  Speaker 1: other than that, no, Like I think there was one
• 28:00
  Speaker 1: day where we had the news on quite a bit
• 28:03
  Speaker 1: and UM crews actually like said to my husband, like
• 28:06
  Speaker 1: can we change the channel? Dad, Like this is kind
• 28:09
  Speaker 1: of making me sad because it's just you know, it's yeah,
• 28:15
  Speaker 1: it's better just to have a for me to have
• 28:17
  Speaker 1: a candid conversation with them and just say like where
• 28:20
  Speaker 1: we are, but like also set up their expectations, like, guys,
• 28:23
  Speaker 1: there's a chance we won't be going back to school
• 28:25
  Speaker 1: this year, like just giving you a heads up, like
• 28:28
  Speaker 1: there is a chance. We don't know. You know, it's
• 28:31
  Speaker 1: day to day, but I just want you guys to
• 28:33
  Speaker 1: manage kind of your expectations. And it's you know, um
• 28:39
  Speaker 1: right there not going back to school. Of usually announced
• 28:43
  Speaker 1: it at our school, they're saying at the end of
• 28:47
  Speaker 1: you know, these four weeks, then you know, but everything
• 28:50
  Speaker 1: is different, and then you know you're on are I
• 28:52
  Speaker 1: assume are you on all these group texts where like
• 28:54
  Speaker 1: everybody's sending information and sometimes I'm like, don't tell me this.
• 28:58
  Speaker 1: I don't I think like that, like honestly that like really,
• 29:03
  Speaker 1: um so it was kind of nuts because I feel
• 29:05
  Speaker 1: so grateful that I do get to be able to
• 29:07
  Speaker 1: have a job that I can do from home, you know,
• 29:09
  Speaker 1: like I'm very grateful especially with all like I keep
• 29:12
  Speaker 1: reading about all these layoffs and furloughs, and you know,
• 29:15
  Speaker 1: people's businesses are are failing, and it's like it's really
• 29:18
  Speaker 1: really a sad, sad time, and so I'm like so
• 29:20
  Speaker 1: grateful for the fact that I can do this. Um,
• 29:24
  Speaker 1: but I think I got to this point where it
• 29:25
  Speaker 1: was like I would get up the second I woke up,
• 29:27
  Speaker 1: I'd come out here, I'd look on the screen. We
• 29:29
  Speaker 1: would do the radio show to like eleven or whatever.
• 29:31
  Speaker 1: Then we would have a meeting, and then I would
• 29:33
  Speaker 1: have conference calls all day, and then we'd have another
• 29:35
  Speaker 1: group meeting at like five, and before I know it,
• 29:37
  Speaker 1: like Son's going down. I hadn't left my house, I
• 29:40
  Speaker 1: hadn't seen anything but a screen, and I think it
• 29:42
  Speaker 1: was really starting to like, um, it's been like more
• 29:45
  Speaker 1: of a mental thing for me to kind of like
• 29:49
  Speaker 1: go through all this, you know, like I wasn't sure
• 29:51
  Speaker 1: how to Like I didn't step outside once the whole
• 29:53
  Speaker 1: day and and I love like being outside, and you know,
• 29:57
  Speaker 1: so it's kind of like trying to figure out. I
• 29:58
  Speaker 1: think the first like two weeks it was just trying
• 30:00
  Speaker 1: to figure out this new normal and like how to
• 30:02
  Speaker 1: adjust and kind of make sure that my mind wasn't
• 30:05
  Speaker 1: like because I never really I'm not a big I
• 30:07
  Speaker 1: never really suffered from anxiety before, and I'm I'm feeling
• 30:10
  Speaker 1: a lot of it now lately, and so it's just
• 30:12
  Speaker 1: kind of like navigating all that and just trying to
• 30:14
  Speaker 1: like be verbal about it and just kind of expressing
• 30:16
  Speaker 1: how I'm feeling and just know because it's like for me,
• 30:19
  Speaker 1: I'm such a positive person and I like, you know,
• 30:21
  Speaker 1: I try to look at the glass half fool all
• 30:23
  Speaker 1: the time, and sometimes I think it's important to just
• 30:25
  Speaker 1: be like, no, I'm having a crappy day and that's okay,
• 30:29
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna try I'm gonna be better tomorrow. Yeah, yeah, tomorrow.
• 30:33
  Speaker 1: And I've realized with everybody I've really talked to, that's
• 30:36
  Speaker 1: kind of how they're feeling because we don't have control
• 30:39
  Speaker 1: over anything right now. So it's like I feel like
• 30:42
  Speaker 1: I'm constantly like you don't want to let people down.
• 30:44
  Speaker 1: So it's like with work, I'm trying to do as
• 30:46
  Speaker 1: much work as possible because I know like everybody's just
• 30:48
  Speaker 1: trying to navigate. And then like with friends, I'm trying
• 30:51
  Speaker 1: to be there for my friends that are really struggling,
• 30:53
  Speaker 1: but it's also you know, and then like with your family,
• 30:55
  Speaker 1: you're trying to be it's like you're just trying to
• 30:57
  Speaker 1: manage manage it all, and it's like we're just just
• 31:01
  Speaker 1: just going through it together. I think, you know, like
• 31:04
  Speaker 1: one of the listener questions was like, how how am
• 31:07
  Speaker 1: I balancing being a mom and entrepreneur and a wife
• 31:10
  Speaker 1: and all those things, And you know, same with you
• 31:12
  Speaker 1: like with work and you have the radio show and
• 31:15
  Speaker 1: then you have the podcast, all of these different things.
• 31:17
  Speaker 1: And I think what I've learned is some days you're
• 31:21
  Speaker 1: gonna be super great at something and something else is
• 31:25
  Speaker 1: going to fall through the cracks a little bit and
• 31:26
  Speaker 1: one and then you know what, the next day it
• 31:28
  Speaker 1: will be something else like and that is okay. I
• 31:31
  Speaker 1: think honestly having perfect balance is impossible. Yeah, And also
• 31:35
  Speaker 1: think like learning how to navigate to because I was realizing, um,
• 31:40
  Speaker 1: like I was on the air, but I felt like sad,
• 31:43
  Speaker 1: like I didn't feel like myself, and so I, um,
• 31:47
  Speaker 1: I was like, what can I do to kind of
• 31:48
  Speaker 1: get my energy up, you know, so that I can
• 31:51
  Speaker 1: instead of being around people that will help me, you know,
• 31:54
  Speaker 1: keep my energy up. And so I'd like put a
• 31:56
  Speaker 1: jump rope behind like my little table here and just
• 31:59
  Speaker 1: was like in between songs, I would like do some
• 32:01
  Speaker 1: jump rope and like get myself up. You know, it's
• 32:04
  Speaker 1: so weird going. I know it's have to like kind
• 32:09
  Speaker 1: of keep you have. I almost have to like get
• 32:12
  Speaker 1: a little bit of like a rush so that I
• 32:14
  Speaker 1: can get get the momentum going, because if not, I'm like,
• 32:18
  Speaker 1: there's no urgency. All right now, There's gotta be urgency.
• 32:21
  Speaker 1: There's gotta be something because I to make you feel alive. Yeah,
• 32:33
  Speaker 1: so you met your boyfriend on hinge? I need more details? Uh, yes,
• 32:37
  Speaker 1: we met on hinge. UM, which is like the craziest
• 32:40
  Speaker 1: thing to me because I was always so poo poo
• 32:42
  Speaker 1: on dating apps. And but then so I don't know
• 32:46
  Speaker 1: if that's a swiping one or a clicking one or
• 32:49
  Speaker 1: what it is for someone telling they're they're all swiping
• 32:53
  Speaker 1: every single one of them you swipe on, so it
• 32:55
  Speaker 1: doesn't really narrow it down. Yeah yeah did you? Did
• 33:00
  Speaker 1: you swipe because of the picture or because of what
• 33:03
  Speaker 1: it said? Um? So this one I actually really like
• 33:07
  Speaker 1: because it does give you a little bit more insight.
• 33:10
  Speaker 1: Asked to like the person that they are. UM one
• 33:13
  Speaker 1: of his Like two of his questions were like literally,
• 33:16
  Speaker 1: so me, um, he's sleeping right now, so I feel
• 33:20
  Speaker 1: okay it's saying this. Um. They were so me that
• 33:23
  Speaker 1: I was like, oh my gosh, this is my dude.
• 33:24
  Speaker 1: He in one of them, he described like what he's
• 33:27
  Speaker 1: looking for and it was literally like me. And then
• 33:29
  Speaker 1: another one it was like something about food and he
• 33:32
  Speaker 1: was like dare like doesn't need dairy black, like all
• 33:34
  Speaker 1: like the things like my weird food things. And I
• 33:37
  Speaker 1: was like, oh, this this is my this is this
• 33:38
  Speaker 1: is a yes for me. But how you were always
• 33:44
  Speaker 1: again because I do. Actually we did something on the
• 33:47
  Speaker 1: podcast about dating apps once and um, you know there's
• 33:51
  Speaker 1: a lot of people are like they just don't work,
• 33:53
  Speaker 1: they just don't work, or some that are like I've
• 33:55
  Speaker 1: been on it forever. What do you think was like
• 33:58
  Speaker 1: made it just all click? I don't. It's so weird
• 34:03
  Speaker 1: because I've been on all the dating apps for years,
• 34:06
  Speaker 1: like they've always just been on and like in the background,
• 34:09
  Speaker 1: does that make sense? Like I was on Bumble and
• 34:12
  Speaker 1: Tinder and Raya and Coffee meets Bagel and Ja Swipe
• 34:15
  Speaker 1: and like Bagel I could not with that name. I
• 34:22
  Speaker 1: was on every single one of them. But I wasn't
• 34:23
  Speaker 1: like actively pursuing anybody that I met, Like I would
• 34:28
  Speaker 1: talk to them for maybe like a day, and then
• 34:29
  Speaker 1: I would just like stop engaging. Like I only had
• 34:32
  Speaker 1: met like physically one guy that I met Mett on
• 34:35
  Speaker 1: match dot com, and then one guy I met on Raya,
• 34:38
  Speaker 1: and then and then my now boyfriend. So I really
• 34:40
  Speaker 1: have only met three guys off of a dating app.
• 34:44
  Speaker 1: But I don't know because it's like I don't I
• 34:46
  Speaker 1: don't really know something about him. The conversation was really easy,
• 34:50
  Speaker 1: like when we were texting, and then I just kind
• 34:51
  Speaker 1: of like one of my girlfriends actually, Sierra, I was
• 34:54
  Speaker 1: just like, just meet this guy, like I have good vibes.
• 34:56
  Speaker 1: I could just have a good feeling about him. So
• 34:57
  Speaker 1: I went and met him for a drink, and I
• 34:58
  Speaker 1: was like expecting it to be not good, and so
• 35:00
  Speaker 1: I was like, Okay, I'll meet you at five thirty.
• 35:02
  Speaker 1: Was planning on leaving at seven thirty because I had
• 35:04
  Speaker 1: to go to New York the next day, and um,
• 35:07
  Speaker 1: we ended up like meeting and having like really easy conversation,
• 35:11
  Speaker 1: like really good chemistry. I was with him until like
• 35:13
  Speaker 1: ten o'clock that night. Whoa, that's late for you, super
• 35:19
  Speaker 1: late for me. And I was going to New York
• 35:20
  Speaker 1: the next day and I hadn't packed. Like that's how
• 35:23
  Speaker 1: like into it I was, So you gotta trust your gut,
• 35:26
  Speaker 1: be ready, be open, read and see if they like
• 35:29
  Speaker 1: dairy or not. But like his explanation of like what
• 35:35
  Speaker 1: he's looking for in a girl was like super meat.
• 35:37
  Speaker 1: It was something like I don't remember it exactly, but
• 35:40
  Speaker 1: like it was something I have it somewhere, I screenshot
• 35:44
  Speaker 1: at it. But it was something along the lines of like,
• 35:46
  Speaker 1: you know, good partner, blah blah blah. But then I
• 35:49
  Speaker 1: can also just like loves just like can be just
• 35:52
  Speaker 1: as comfortable with like jeans and no makeup, you know
• 35:54
  Speaker 1: what I mean, like which is perfect. Yeah. Oh that
• 35:59
  Speaker 1: makes me so happy. I know he's a good one.
• 36:03
  Speaker 1: He's a really good one. Um. Okay, So I have
• 36:06
  Speaker 1: a question. I actually read something that about Gwyneth Paltrow
• 36:09
  Speaker 1: and her husband and like intimacy with having all the
• 36:13
  Speaker 1: kids in the house. But I guess, aren't your kids
• 36:15
  Speaker 1: always in the house? Well for for yeah, I mean
• 36:19
  Speaker 1: my kids are always in the house, but like normally
• 36:21
  Speaker 1: they'd be at school during the day. Some of them,
• 36:22
  Speaker 1: but I haven't been clear Well, intimacy and sex, I
• 36:25
  Speaker 1: know are different, but I haven't even been cleared to
• 36:27
  Speaker 1: have sex yet. I'm not at six weeks. That's next Tuesday.
• 36:31
  Speaker 1: Oh you have it marked on kid, Well, I guess
• 36:39
  Speaker 1: by the time everybody's listening to this, it will be
• 36:42
  Speaker 1: that day. It'll be a surprise day. So no, like
• 36:45
  Speaker 1: Edwin is like, we need he he actually today because
• 36:48
  Speaker 1: I had to get like dressed up for I mean,
• 36:51
  Speaker 1: like I say dressed up. I have my hair half
• 36:53
  Speaker 1: up and like a little bit of mascar on. But
• 36:56
  Speaker 1: he was like, because I got ready for a president.
• 36:58
  Speaker 1: He's like, whoa. He's like, we had six weeks. I'm
• 37:01
  Speaker 1: like not yet. I'm like, but I'm sure we're fine.
• 37:02
  Speaker 1: Weren't five and a half weeks. He's like, nope, the
• 37:05
  Speaker 1: doctor said six weeks, so it's just let me know.
• 37:08
  Speaker 1: I'm like, oh my god, so cute. He's like, panics,
• 37:14
  Speaker 1: something bad will happen if we do before um. But yeah,
• 37:19
  Speaker 1: so sex, I'm not there yet, So I don't know
• 37:21
  Speaker 1: how to answer that question. But intimacy, our biggest thing
• 37:26
  Speaker 1: is like just to set aside some time for ourselves.
• 37:30
  Speaker 1: So like a couple of nights ago. It was like
• 37:33
  Speaker 1: a day that it was like a high anxiety day
• 37:35
  Speaker 1: for me. And I like said to Edwin in the morning, like,
• 37:37
  Speaker 1: you know, I'm having a little bit of a day.
• 37:39
  Speaker 1: Like I'm doing everything that I can. I've worked out,
• 37:42
  Speaker 1: you know, I've gotten my work done. There's nothing I'm
• 37:44
  Speaker 1: putting off, but I just still feel anxious. And he
• 37:47
  Speaker 1: was like, well, hey, why don't we like just pick
• 37:50
  Speaker 1: a movie that we can watch and that can be
• 37:52
  Speaker 1: the time when like the kids are allowed to have
• 37:54
  Speaker 1: their tablet and you know, like we'll come up with
• 37:58
  Speaker 1: an activity that they could you know whatever it was
• 38:00
  Speaker 1: as and so like we gave the kids the tablet.
• 38:02
  Speaker 1: We fed the kids dinner, and then we gave them
• 38:04
  Speaker 1: the tablet, and like we said and not dub du
• 38:07
  Speaker 1: just like sat on me. But we just like cuddled
• 38:09
  Speaker 1: on the couch watched an adult movie together. But like
• 38:13
  Speaker 1: in that one like hour and a half, I felt
• 38:15
  Speaker 1: more connected to Edwin than I had, like because we're
• 38:18
  Speaker 1: both like so busy. It's like a business exchange, like
• 38:21
  Speaker 1: I'll have that like he has done right now, and
• 38:24
  Speaker 1: then like we switched it off and blah blah blah,
• 38:26
  Speaker 1: you know, like we're just like constantly in motion, and
• 38:30
  Speaker 1: so it really was just like about taking that moment
• 38:32
  Speaker 1: to like actually like cuddle and touch and like be
• 38:35
  Speaker 1: near one another where it's not like we're just you know,
• 38:38
  Speaker 1: going through the motions of making sure we're like working
• 38:41
  Speaker 1: hard and taking care of our kids. Um, I am,
• 38:44
  Speaker 1: how like PG, do you keep it on your podcast?
• 38:48
  Speaker 1: I mean not, We've talked a lot about sex in general.
• 38:52
  Speaker 1: But what what's your question? Because my question is do
• 38:54
  Speaker 1: you give him blow jobs? Um? Well, I mean yes,
• 39:04
  Speaker 1: but um, the last week I have not because we've
• 39:08
  Speaker 1: been at our beach house and my son has been
• 39:11
  Speaker 1: in our room with us and the baby. So like
• 39:14
  Speaker 1: it just feels heard a lot of people so like
• 39:21
  Speaker 1: I should like he probably wouldn't be as ready to
• 39:24
  Speaker 1: go if this wasn't like, but the last like let's say,
• 39:30
  Speaker 1: ten days have been a little slow. But like, I
• 39:33
  Speaker 1: don't know, I feel weird when the kids are in
• 39:35
  Speaker 1: the room, even if they're sleeping. Yeah, that would be
• 39:40
  Speaker 1: a hard note for me. There are some parents that do,
• 39:43
  Speaker 1: and I'm not judging them, but there are some that
• 39:45
  Speaker 1: are and I but I can't not No, I don't
• 39:48
  Speaker 1: think I could. I don't think I could either. But
• 39:51
  Speaker 1: my son is like definitely going through the phase of like, well,
• 39:54
  Speaker 1: if baby Dove gets to be in the room, then
• 39:56
  Speaker 1: so do I. And I'm like, you want to be
• 39:59
  Speaker 1: up for every night multiple times and he's like, yep,
• 40:03
  Speaker 1: I don't care. So, like we've the sleep schedule was
• 40:07
  Speaker 1: going so well with I mean, sleeping on his own
• 40:10
  Speaker 1: was going so well. But now we've had a yeah,
• 40:14
  Speaker 1: we're gonna try, Yeah, we're gonna have We've pivoted, We're
• 40:16
  Speaker 1: gonna try again tonight. We've got our meditation apps. We're
• 40:19
  Speaker 1: going in full force. I'm sure yours is a little different, though,
• 40:24
  Speaker 1: you guys like crazy crazy over there. I know, it's
• 40:29
  Speaker 1: so funny. I was actually reading like my blow jobs
• 40:33
  Speaker 1: are going just fine, thank you. But I couldn't even
• 40:39
  Speaker 1: imagine having kids because I always get nervous that like
• 40:41
  Speaker 1: my neighbors can hear me, do you know what I mean?
• 40:43
  Speaker 1: Like that's like my fear is like no, because my
• 40:46
  Speaker 1: walls are super thin in my apartment complex, so I
• 40:49
  Speaker 1: can hear like they're yeah, I can hear their TV,
• 40:52
  Speaker 1: like when I go to the bathroom, Like I can
• 40:54
  Speaker 1: hear the TV from my neighbors. So I'm like, oh, like,
• 40:57
  Speaker 1: what can they hear? And here? Oh I've just had
• 41:01
  Speaker 1: so many visuals. Now I need to reel it back in,
• 41:03
  Speaker 1: reel it back in. Um. Yeah, so one of us,
• 41:08
  Speaker 1: one of us is getting a lot more action than
• 41:10
  Speaker 1: the other on this podcast. But you guys, check me
• 41:13
  Speaker 1: back next week. I'll be I'll be making a turn.
• 41:16
  Speaker 1: I'll be back to my two times a week. Guys.
• 41:18
  Speaker 1: Don't worry. Oh is that is that like your is
• 41:20
  Speaker 1: that your guys? This thing too? You do it two
• 41:22
  Speaker 1: times a week. We make sure to there. There's add
• 41:26
  Speaker 1: ons occasionally that you know, like days, anniversaries. No, I
• 41:32
  Speaker 1: actually I actually like to to do more, but I'm
• 41:36
  Speaker 1: saying we make sure it's at least two because life
• 41:39
  Speaker 1: like gets really crazy with with all these kids and
• 41:42
  Speaker 1: work and and so we're like we made a deal,
• 41:44
  Speaker 1: like we'll be like, all right, if it's like Thursday
• 41:47
  Speaker 1: and we haven't yet, I'm like one of us will
• 41:49
  Speaker 1: be like, hey, we're at zero and we're like, oh, shoot,
• 41:52
  Speaker 1: we gotta get one in. Let's go. So that's like
• 41:55
  Speaker 1: a little like understanding that you guys have in your marriage.
• 41:59
  Speaker 1: Then we have to have closet time. What's closet time?
• 42:04
  Speaker 1: Sometimes you have to just do it in the closet
• 42:06
  Speaker 1: because it is the only place close. I think that's
• 42:17
  Speaker 1: I think that's so cute though, because I think it,
• 42:19
  Speaker 1: I do think it's very important. And I also think
• 42:21
  Speaker 1: that like I can't imagine, especially now with four kids
• 42:25
  Speaker 1: running around, like I feel like that probably that time
• 42:27
  Speaker 1: gets like less and less. And so the fact that
• 42:29
  Speaker 1: you guys have this like understanding that like, Okay, it's
• 42:30
  Speaker 1: going to happen at least twice a week, Like that's
• 42:33
  Speaker 1: really cute. Yeah, And I mean it makes it kind
• 42:37
  Speaker 1: of fun because like, well, well before we were you know,
• 42:40
  Speaker 1: when we weren't working together all the time, like in
• 42:43
  Speaker 1: each other's space all the time. Like if he would
• 42:46
  Speaker 1: be at the office, he'd like send me a text,
• 42:47
  Speaker 1: he'd be like number one, you know, like question mark
• 42:51
  Speaker 1: or you know, like whatever. You know, Like that's so cute.
• 42:57
  Speaker 1: I think that's so sweet. I really do. I got
• 43:01
  Speaker 1: a lot of heat from it. I talked about it
• 43:03
  Speaker 1: publicly once and someone's like, you schedule sex, how I
• 43:06
  Speaker 1: don't romantic? And I was like, we don't like schedule
• 43:09
  Speaker 1: and it's not like four pm on Thursdays it's just
• 43:11
  Speaker 1: we make sure that it happens and we make ourselves
• 43:14
  Speaker 1: a priority because like I will say that after I
• 43:17
  Speaker 1: had Clayton Cruise, like there was a time where like
• 43:21
  Speaker 1: there was you know, we had like you know, a
• 43:24
  Speaker 1: low point like where you know, I wasn't feeling my
• 43:27
  Speaker 1: best and then I wasn't like in the mood. Or
• 43:30
  Speaker 1: then he would come home from work and I would
• 43:32
  Speaker 1: be so exhausted that then like I'd be complaining to
• 43:35
  Speaker 1: him instead of like, you know, it just it changed.
• 43:39
  Speaker 1: It changes after kids. So I think the fact that
• 43:42
  Speaker 1: like we can talk about it and make it, you know,
• 43:45
  Speaker 1: something that we can laugh about makes it a lot easier. Also,
• 43:49
  Speaker 1: like if I want to schedule a blow job at
• 43:51
  Speaker 1: four pm on a Thursday, like I'm going to do
• 43:53
  Speaker 1: that because guess what, it's my life and it's my
• 43:55
  Speaker 1: prerogative and I get I can guarantee you when I
• 43:58
  Speaker 1: have kids, I will probably be scheduling those things. Is
• 44:02
  Speaker 1: it going to be color coordinated? What blowjop friend for
• 44:13
  Speaker 1: love are? No? I know it's so funny. Daily makeouts
• 44:18
  Speaker 1: are gonna have to be daily make out? Yeah? I
• 44:21
  Speaker 1: know it. The kids are, but also kids are funny too,
• 44:24
  Speaker 1: They're like, ohh you guys are disgusting, Like what see
• 44:31
  Speaker 1: you two kids? I'm like come on, and they're like
• 44:36
  Speaker 1: that's now. I'm like, yeah, okay, guys, but I think
• 44:39
  Speaker 1: it's healthy for knstucing you like give your partner. You're like,
• 44:43
  Speaker 1: I think it's I think that's really important that your
• 44:46
  Speaker 1: kids see you guys like kissing and loving each other
• 44:48
  Speaker 1: for sure. I mean maybe not like grabbing your boobs
• 44:51
  Speaker 1: and button things like that, but I think kissing is
• 44:53
  Speaker 1: so sweet. Me too, I think so too. They just
• 44:56
  Speaker 1: like to cheose us and then and then crews always go, Dad,
• 44:59
  Speaker 1: what are you trying to be handsome for mom? You
• 45:02
  Speaker 1: can be handsome? Yeah, So that's that. That's that we're
• 45:09
  Speaker 1: gonna get back in the swing of things. Come to night. Baby, wait,
• 45:14
  Speaker 1: I need to know, so like, okay, this is like
• 45:16
  Speaker 1: sick because I'm actually gonna be thinking about this on Tuesday.
• 45:18
  Speaker 1: So like, are you gonna like wear something nice? Are
• 45:22
  Speaker 1: you gonna do something just just regular straight sex. It's
• 45:28
  Speaker 1: gonna be like one. It's like been a while, so
• 45:31
  Speaker 1: we have like Also, it's I mean, last trimester of
• 45:37
  Speaker 1: sex is like a whole situation because you can only
• 45:40
  Speaker 1: do it from one ankle, like it's a whole thing.
• 45:43
  Speaker 1: So this is like i't I might be still in
• 45:47
  Speaker 1: a little bit of pain. So you have to like
• 45:49
  Speaker 1: tread softly the first time, like there's no funny business
• 45:54
  Speaker 1: because like your uterus is still shrinking and like there
• 45:57
  Speaker 1: could be you know, like you're still like bleeding weeks
• 46:00
  Speaker 1: after having a baby. I love that you like touch
• 46:03
  Speaker 1: your book as I say that. It makes me so
• 46:07
  Speaker 1: it's like so intense. So we have to we have
• 46:11
  Speaker 1: to you know, we'll be careful the first time, but
• 46:13
  Speaker 1: the second time during the week, you know, I bet
• 46:15
  Speaker 1: we'll really have to ex handle. Do they stitch? Because
• 46:18
  Speaker 1: you had dumb naturally right like out the hole, out
• 46:23
  Speaker 1: the whole of how many stitches did you have with
• 46:28
  Speaker 1: Slaton cruise stitches and with dub I didn't need? Does
• 46:36
  Speaker 1: that mean you're vagina was so stretched out embarrassed when
• 46:43
  Speaker 1: I when I asked how many stitches and he said that,
• 46:50
  Speaker 1: I was like, what can you just put a courtesy
• 46:54
  Speaker 1: stitch in there? Because I obviously can you tighten the
• 46:59
  Speaker 1: backup down there? He's like, great news, you didn't tear,
• 47:05
  Speaker 1: And I was like, I share, it's actually hilarious. That's
• 47:13
  Speaker 1: so funny. That's better for the recovery, right, Yeah, it
• 47:17
  Speaker 1: was great for the recovery, terrible for the ego. Can't
• 47:26
  Speaker 1: tell On that note, Tanya, thanks for joining me today
• 47:29
  Speaker 1: and getting me to share my most um embarrassing topics.
• 47:34
  Speaker 1: You're so welcome. I was just happy to, so happy to.
• 47:38
  Speaker 1: I can't wait until you have kids that I can
• 47:40
  Speaker 1: grill you on your vagina. Dude, I can't wait too,
• 47:44
  Speaker 1: because I mean I can't wait, and I will wait.
• 47:46
  Speaker 1: But um, it's such a new world that like it's
• 47:50
  Speaker 1: just so I don't even know where I'm gonna begin,
• 47:53
  Speaker 1: Like I'm gonna be reading all the books, all the things,
• 47:57
  Speaker 1: but then it's gonna be totally different from me, for you,
• 48:00
  Speaker 1: for them, whatever you read or here, because like every
• 48:02
  Speaker 1: single person I know has like a completely different story.
• 48:05
  Speaker 1: And you know, we get ourselves all amped up for
• 48:08
  Speaker 1: something that doesn't happen, and then you know, you end
• 48:10
  Speaker 1: up stitch less, stitch less, stitchless with faulty boobs, but
• 48:17
  Speaker 1: somehow we're surviving. So I'm like literally trying to envision
• 48:22
  Speaker 1: like what no, like how sexy my stitchless? Uh? Crying
• 48:29
  Speaker 1: and then having to ask edwin to take my placenta
• 48:32
  Speaker 1: outside to drop it off to the placenta ladies so
• 48:34
  Speaker 1: I could have them made into pills so I could
• 48:37
  Speaker 1: eat them. Do you ask Edwin, like, is my vagina
• 48:42
  Speaker 1: like shrutch here? Well I have. I didn't ask him
• 48:49
  Speaker 1: if I missed any spots like grooming, and he was like, actually, baby,
• 48:58
  Speaker 1: you did a really nice job up. And I was like,
• 49:01
  Speaker 1: you shave it before you give birth. You just think
• 49:04
  Speaker 1: I might to have a bunch of hair out that now?
• 49:09
  Speaker 1: Of course, of course I did, and I was serious
• 49:12
  Speaker 1: about it. I went in the bath with a mirror.
• 49:18
  Speaker 1: I could not handle if there was like a like
• 49:22
  Speaker 1: a weird spot or some kind of like misshaving or
• 49:25
  Speaker 1: not even for just my husband my doctor, Like I
• 49:28
  Speaker 1: don't right right the nurses, gosh, not be the worst
• 49:34
  Speaker 1: scene of the day, right right right? I get that. Wow,
• 49:39
  Speaker 1: Edwin really has really just stepped up. He's stepped up.
• 49:44
  Speaker 1: I see him at the with a whole new set
• 49:45
  Speaker 1: of eyes. Now. Yeah, So anyways, so I'm well kempt
• 49:50
  Speaker 1: keeping things together. But yeah, but now I can see
• 49:53
  Speaker 1: mine again and it's it seems fine. We'll see how
• 49:57
  Speaker 1: it goes. I'm gonna tell see you on Tuesday and
• 50:00
  Speaker 1: be like, happy hump Day, Happy hump Day, hump Day.
• 50:07
  Speaker 1: Oh my god, you made me like cry laughing thing.
• 50:09
  Speaker 1: I've totally forgotten about the stitches and now I'm back.
• 50:14
  Speaker 1: You're I don't know what, but what you name your
• 50:15
  Speaker 1: podcast episodes with this one should be stitchless, stitchless, stitchless
• 50:22
  Speaker 1: stitchless and hormonal stitch listen hormonal. Thanks for tuning in.
• 50:28
  Speaker 1: But I do think a lot more energy because I
• 50:31
  Speaker 1: ate my pacenta pills. I'm serious. I'll read about that
• 50:35
  Speaker 1: some day. I can't wait to eat my own placenta.
• 50:38
  Speaker 1: On that note, On that note, it's all unapproved, so Tanya.
• 50:45
  Speaker 1: Next up, we have Jinny Marie Batistan and she has
• 50:49
  Speaker 1: books on Mindfulness for Teens and ten Minutes a Day
• 50:53
  Speaker 1: and then Mindfulness Journey for Teens. They're both available now.
• 50:56
  Speaker 1: But she's going to talk to us about like coping
• 50:58
  Speaker 1: with anxiety with everything that we're going through right now. Nice,
• 51:02
  Speaker 1: I love that, So let's take a little break and
• 51:05
  Speaker 1: then we'll come back with her. Right I can't believe
• 51:16
  Speaker 1: you've got me to share that stuff. Wait, would you
• 51:18
  Speaker 1: not normally share that stuff? I'm sorry, Hi, how are
• 51:26
  Speaker 1: you guys. Good. Thanks, you're on with Tony and Teddy.
• 51:30
  Speaker 1: All right, Hi, Hi you guys holding up there, We're
• 51:36
  Speaker 1: holding up. We're so okay, we can see you. We're
• 51:39
  Speaker 1: so happy to hear from you because we would love
• 51:43
  Speaker 1: to hear some ways to reduce anxiety and stress during
• 51:47
  Speaker 1: these uncertain times. Rates I'd love to chat with you
• 51:50
  Speaker 1: guys about that. What would you say, like, just off
• 51:54
  Speaker 1: the top of your head, is like the number one
• 51:56
  Speaker 1: way to reduce stress and anxiety right now? You know,
• 52:01
  Speaker 1: one of the things that I'm noticing with a lot
• 52:03
  Speaker 1: of my clients is, you know, it's important to acknowledge
• 52:06
  Speaker 1: the feelings and not push it away. I think a
• 52:09
  Speaker 1: lot of times we think like I just shouldn't think
• 52:10
  Speaker 1: about this, but sometimes that it actually makes us more anxious.
• 52:14
  Speaker 1: But if we can just acknowledge it and just say, like,
• 52:16
  Speaker 1: I'm knowing you've seeing I'm having an anxious thought about
• 52:20
  Speaker 1: what's going on, and then once we notice it, we
• 52:23
  Speaker 1: can then actually then commit our attention to focus on
• 52:27
  Speaker 1: something that is within our control, so something inside of
• 52:31
  Speaker 1: our home, something with our kids, something with our partner,
• 52:35
  Speaker 1: um and you know, and then that will really start
• 52:39
  Speaker 1: to lessen the anxiety because if we worry about everything
• 52:42
  Speaker 1: that's out there, we can't control what's going on outside
• 52:45
  Speaker 1: of our home right now for sure. And the more
• 52:49
  Speaker 1: we try to control the uncontrollable, the worst we get. Yes. Absolutely,
• 52:54
  Speaker 1: And do you care if I just kind of go
• 52:57
  Speaker 1: through some listener questions right now because so many people
• 53:00
  Speaker 1: bull are just like at their within right now, and
• 53:02
  Speaker 1: I want to make sure that we get through them. Yes,
• 53:04
  Speaker 1: that's great, all right. The first one is what can
• 53:08
  Speaker 1: I do to make grocery shopping less stressful? Uh? That's
• 53:13
  Speaker 1: a great one. I think if we can really try
• 53:16
  Speaker 1: to create a menu for the week, and it can
• 53:19
  Speaker 1: be really fun too, if we engage the family, we're
• 53:23
  Speaker 1: home by ourselves. Maybe we can just be creative and say, hey,
• 53:26
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna create some fun recipes this week. Make a list,
• 53:30
  Speaker 1: and then be strategic about your list of Okay, I'm
• 53:33
  Speaker 1: gonna go out and I'm gonna do shopping for two
• 53:35
  Speaker 1: weeks um as much as possible, because that lessons are
• 53:38
  Speaker 1: contact out there. Uh, and then we can do simple
• 53:41
  Speaker 1: things when we're out there as far as you know.
• 53:43
  Speaker 1: If we have our own disinfecting wives, take them with us,
• 53:46
  Speaker 1: just an extra precaution, but just being aware of our
• 53:49
  Speaker 1: where our placement of our body is and that we
• 53:53
  Speaker 1: can keep ourselves safe. And I think before you actually
• 53:56
  Speaker 1: leave the house, just remind yourself, hey, I can be
• 53:58
  Speaker 1: aware of myself. I can keep myself safe by keeping
• 54:02
  Speaker 1: appropriate distancing. I'm in control of my space and my body.
• 54:06
  Speaker 1: And if we start with that mindset, it tends to
• 54:10
  Speaker 1: lessen our anxiety when we're out there in the public.
• 54:13
  Speaker 1: That's really good advice because we just start to spiral
• 54:17
  Speaker 1: and like already planned the next grocery trip when you're
• 54:21
  Speaker 1: at the current one. I know, and like, I hate
• 54:24
  Speaker 1: going to the grocery store because it makes me anxious.
• 54:26
  Speaker 1: And I'm like, I'm starting to get better about just
• 54:28
  Speaker 1: being like this is fine. I can do it and
• 54:31
  Speaker 1: safely do it. And I'm I'm good. I know. I
• 54:34
  Speaker 1: keep I keep checking Amazon Fresh to see if it's
• 54:37
  Speaker 1: like working, and it's not. I'm always like, all right,
• 54:40
  Speaker 1: I gotta go the next. The next one is about
• 54:44
  Speaker 1: hand washing, and it's I'm so paranoid about washing my hands.
• 54:48
  Speaker 1: They're starting to crack and bleed. What do I do?
• 54:51
  Speaker 1: How can I manage it? It's become a compulsion. Ah yes,
• 54:56
  Speaker 1: So part of that is just acknowledging too. Again, I'm
• 55:00
  Speaker 1: having the thought of being anxious about coronavirus. I'm noticing
• 55:06
  Speaker 1: that thought, and sometimes if we actually just actually acknowledge it,
• 55:10
  Speaker 1: then we start to lessen our anxiety about it and
• 55:13
  Speaker 1: then say a statement with that of I can take
• 55:16
  Speaker 1: care of myself. I can be aware of when I
• 55:19
  Speaker 1: need to wash my hands. So you know, if we're
• 55:22
  Speaker 1: staying in our home, we're safe in our home. Uh.
• 55:26
  Speaker 1: You know, we've we we're protecting ourselves, so our handwashing
• 55:29
  Speaker 1: doesn't need to be as extreme when we're home. Sometimes
• 55:33
  Speaker 1: we focus on that because it feels like something within
• 55:35
  Speaker 1: our control. But if we've come home and we've washed
• 55:38
  Speaker 1: your hands, we're good there. So acknowledge I'm having that thought.
• 55:42
  Speaker 1: Acknowledge I already took an action. I came home, I
• 55:45
  Speaker 1: washed my hands. And then of course we can use
• 55:48
  Speaker 1: some really great things like get some lavender uh scented lotions.
• 55:54
  Speaker 1: Uh that can be just really soothing for our hands
• 55:57
  Speaker 1: as well as you're gonna get that little boost of
• 55:59
  Speaker 1: amotherapy of lavender that just calms the body. So we're
• 56:03
  Speaker 1: moisturizing our hands because we're washing them more often, but
• 56:06
  Speaker 1: we're also doing something that's going to calm us a
• 56:09
  Speaker 1: little bit. I like the idea of the lavender that
• 56:11
  Speaker 1: and I like that, all right, I can do that.
• 56:13
  Speaker 1: And then what about for extroverts who are really finding
• 56:19
  Speaker 1: it difficult to be home right now? Like what I
• 56:22
  Speaker 1: know likes have helped, but like, what other tools do
• 56:26
  Speaker 1: you recommend? Yeah, so of course we've got the zoom calls. Uh,
• 56:30
  Speaker 1: you know, I think people are getting creative. They're also
• 56:33
  Speaker 1: doing that Netflix watch parties together where you can chat
• 56:36
  Speaker 1: with your friends. I think also if we can just
• 56:39
  Speaker 1: commit ourselves to an action that we can do at
• 56:41
  Speaker 1: home that could be really fun and engaging that maybe
• 56:45
  Speaker 1: we don't always do. So maybe we can play a
• 56:48
  Speaker 1: board game with our family if we have someone who's
• 56:51
  Speaker 1: home with us. If we don't have anyone who's home
• 56:54
  Speaker 1: with us, then it's again finding something in the house
• 56:57
  Speaker 1: that we feel like we can put our time in
• 56:59
  Speaker 1: our energy too, that's enjoyable. And then maybe we share
• 57:02
  Speaker 1: with our friends and our family of the progress that
• 57:05
  Speaker 1: we've had on a project at home can be really helpful.
• 57:09
  Speaker 1: Of course, there's games you can play too. I think
• 57:11
  Speaker 1: a lot of people are having fun playing in these,
• 57:13
  Speaker 1: you know, remote games with each other. It's another fun
• 57:16
  Speaker 1: way to connect. And I mean watching Tiger King, I
• 57:20
  Speaker 1: really was. I really enjoyed that. That like got me
• 57:24
  Speaker 1: out of like I was kind of spiraling and then
• 57:26
  Speaker 1: I watched that, and I'm like, you know what, I
• 57:28
  Speaker 1: could be Joe exotic and now I feel better. It's
• 57:32
  Speaker 1: so funny how everyone is totally jumped on that Tiger
• 57:35
  Speaker 1: King guy. I've got to watch it now. I know.
• 57:37
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna watch it this weekend. Are you guys? You
• 57:40
  Speaker 1: haven't watched it. I cannot believe it. I was like,
• 57:45
  Speaker 1: I'm blown, So you need to watch it. It's not
• 57:48
  Speaker 1: just like an Instagram sensation. It's so crazy good. It's unbelievable. Okay,
• 57:53
  Speaker 1: we're gonna watch that again. I gotta do it. Yeah,
• 57:57
  Speaker 1: all right, So this one's funny. Um how he's asking,
• 58:03
  Speaker 1: which I think everybody can relate to. Um, how do
• 58:06
  Speaker 1: I not lose it on my husband being around him
• 58:08
  Speaker 1: all day every day? Oh my goodness, I am hearing
• 58:13
  Speaker 1: this one a lot, especially because I'm a relationship therapist. Um,
• 58:17
  Speaker 1: you know, I think it's really important that we have
• 58:19
  Speaker 1: a ten minute check in with our partner and say Hey,
• 58:21
  Speaker 1: what do you need today? Um? What would be helpful
• 58:25
  Speaker 1: for you? And and then create sanctuary zones in your
• 58:28
  Speaker 1: house where it's kind of like the no go zone
• 58:31
  Speaker 1: of where you're going to ask your partner for something
• 58:33
  Speaker 1: that's their zone. You're not going to enter it and
• 58:36
  Speaker 1: go like hey can you fix the toilet or hey
• 58:38
  Speaker 1: can you do another little laundry for me or whatever. Um,
• 58:42
  Speaker 1: You're just really going to protect th zones. Um. And
• 58:45
  Speaker 1: then if you do that ten minute check in of like, hey,
• 58:48
  Speaker 1: how are you feeling about things? How do you feel
• 58:49
  Speaker 1: like we're doing in the house, negotiating, getting things done,
• 58:53
  Speaker 1: taking care of the kids, or taking care of work? Uh?
• 58:57
  Speaker 1: And you know, how are you generally feeling in the
• 59:00
  Speaker 1: day to day of all of what we're going through.
• 59:03
  Speaker 1: And by doing that ten minute check in a lot
• 59:05
  Speaker 1: of times, that's gonna be stress reducing and that's going
• 59:08
  Speaker 1: to help us. You know, I feel a little bit less, uh,
• 59:12
  Speaker 1: you know, with our partner and that we want to
• 59:15
  Speaker 1: just um, you know, maybe send him along to the
• 59:17
  Speaker 1: Tiger King. Well, I feel like I totally agree because
• 59:21
  Speaker 1: I was talking earlier with telling me about it, and
• 59:23
  Speaker 1: I did say, like in the morning, my husband. I
• 59:26
  Speaker 1: like have a little conversation where I'll be like today
• 59:28
  Speaker 1: I'm feeling anxious or the time I'm feeling and kind
• 59:30
  Speaker 1: of like setting the tone to like we know how
• 59:33
  Speaker 1: to manage each other, or like I'm feeling on top
• 59:36
  Speaker 1: of the world today. I can do this. I've got
• 59:38
  Speaker 1: you know, like, so you have an idea because most
• 59:40
  Speaker 1: of the time we're projecting how we're feeling on our
• 59:43
  Speaker 1: partner and it has nothing to do with them. So
• 59:45
  Speaker 1: I try to always remember, I mean, I'm not perfect
• 59:48
  Speaker 1: at this. Like sometimes like last night, his phone was
• 59:50
  Speaker 1: like making a noise and I was like, and then
• 59:54
  Speaker 1: he was like, you need to take a breath, like
• 59:58
  Speaker 1: some other time. He One of the other things I
• 1:00:01
  Speaker 1: teach my couples is what I call CPR. So CPR
• 1:00:05
  Speaker 1: would be a compliment for the CEE. Give your partner
• 1:00:08
  Speaker 1: a compliment um or and I appreciate statement. And then
• 1:00:12
  Speaker 1: if you've got a problem, then leading into the problem
• 1:00:15
  Speaker 1: and say, but say it in this format. You know,
• 1:00:17
  Speaker 1: I'm feeling anxious about, you know, whatever you're feeling anxious about,
• 1:00:23
  Speaker 1: and then follow it by what you need and I
• 1:00:25
  Speaker 1: really need uh, And then your partner is going to
• 1:00:28
  Speaker 1: lean in a little bit more towards you and be
• 1:00:30
  Speaker 1: able to help meet those needs. Okay, all right, I'm
• 1:00:33
  Speaker 1: gonna I'm gonna app my compliments. I'm sure Tony is
• 1:00:35
  Speaker 1: already good at the complimenting. Yeah, but also, like you
• 1:00:39
  Speaker 1: also have to understand we're newly dating, so that's like
• 1:00:43
  Speaker 1: not you know, but I also think when I'm when
• 1:00:44
  Speaker 1: I'm telling people that are like going and saying with
• 1:00:47
  Speaker 1: their partners is like, just have a little bit of
• 1:00:50
  Speaker 1: grace for everybody right now, you know what I mean.
• 1:00:52
  Speaker 1: Like we're all going through emotions and feelings that we've
• 1:00:54
  Speaker 1: never had or felt before. So it's just kind of like,
• 1:00:57
  Speaker 1: let's just all have a little bit of great for
• 1:01:00
  Speaker 1: one another. Yes, that's so true. And I think it's
• 1:01:03
  Speaker 1: important for us to also have compassion for our own
• 1:01:06
  Speaker 1: self as well during this time and understand it is
• 1:01:08
  Speaker 1: difficult times. So if we can have self compassion first,
• 1:01:11
  Speaker 1: then we also are able to have compassion and kindness
• 1:01:14
  Speaker 1: with our partner. Alright, Alright, I know we've all we've
• 1:01:18
  Speaker 1: all got to work on that. Guys. Nobody needs to be,
• 1:01:21
  Speaker 1: you know, losing it on their husbands every day. Let's
• 1:01:23
  Speaker 1: let's let's keep it to like every five days. I
• 1:01:26
  Speaker 1: think that's okay, that's a fair compromise. It just needs
• 1:01:30
  Speaker 1: to me every day. We have enough um. And then
• 1:01:33
  Speaker 1: the final question before we have to wrap up because
• 1:01:35
  Speaker 1: we're running out of time, is somebody's saying I haven't
• 1:01:38
  Speaker 1: showered in four days and I wear sweats every day.
• 1:01:41
  Speaker 1: One thing that I can say is I pretty much
• 1:01:43
  Speaker 1: wear sweats on the bottom every day, but I do
• 1:01:46
  Speaker 1: take a shower because the shower actually makes me feel better.
• 1:01:50
  Speaker 1: I take multiple showers a day. I could not imagine
• 1:01:52
  Speaker 1: not showering for five days. That would really throw me
• 1:01:55
  Speaker 1: into another tailsman. You have to shower, and if you
• 1:01:58
  Speaker 1: don't even like showers, like even if you take a
• 1:02:00
  Speaker 1: bath and look at it like self care and like
• 1:02:03
  Speaker 1: make it like a place where you're reading, or put
• 1:02:07
  Speaker 1: some some bath salts in there, like find a way
• 1:02:09
  Speaker 1: that like you can take a moment to yourself to
• 1:02:12
  Speaker 1: enjoy the process. Because I know with myself, when I
• 1:02:16
  Speaker 1: am not like clean, I don't feel good and I
• 1:02:19
  Speaker 1: can't like take action. But you know true, I mean,
• 1:02:24
  Speaker 1: is there anything else you guys want to add to that? Yeah,
• 1:02:28
  Speaker 1: put some candles on. And also we know that you
• 1:02:31
  Speaker 1: know our anxieties are going to be lessened if we
• 1:02:33
  Speaker 1: keep a routine and a schedule. So a showers an
• 1:02:36
  Speaker 1: important part I hope of our normal schedule. So keep
• 1:02:40
  Speaker 1: that going perfect. Well, you guys, thank you so much. Um,
• 1:02:45
  Speaker 1: thank you for joining me, both of you guys. I
• 1:02:47
  Speaker 1: think it's so I mean, we had some laughs and
• 1:02:49
  Speaker 1: then also I think these are some great tools and
• 1:02:51
  Speaker 1: the most important thing we can all remember is like
• 1:02:54
  Speaker 1: we're not in this alone. We're all together, and you know,
• 1:02:57
  Speaker 1: we're doing what's best for for us and are staying
• 1:03:00
  Speaker 1: healthy in our families and everyone around us. And you know,
• 1:03:03
  Speaker 1: I'm really grateful to you guys because having this like
• 1:03:07
  Speaker 1: contact and speaking with you guys has really made me
• 1:03:10
  Speaker 1: feel good today. So thank you, yes, yes, thank you
• 1:03:13
  Speaker 1: and everyone hanging there. We're gonna all get through this together.
• 1:03:17
  Speaker 1: Yeah we well, thank you, thank you. Hi. Thanks for listening.
• 1:03:22
  Speaker 1: Subscribe to n T pot on I Heart radio or
• 1:03:25
  Speaker 1: wherever you listen to podcasts.