Latest / Serious Lady Business / Beyond the Algorithm: Building a Voice That Lasts with Marta Spirk
Transcript
- Leslie Youngblood (00:01) Welcome back to Serious Lady Business. I'm Leslie Youngblood, your host, feminist and founder of Youngblood MMC, a marketing media and content agency. Today we are joined by Marta Spirk. Marta Spirk is a speaking coach, TEDx speaker, bestselling author and professional singer who helps women entrepreneurs turn their story into a powerful revenue generating signature talk. She supports her clients in clarifying their message, delivering it with confidence. and leveraging speaking as her strategic income stream on stages, podcasts, and within their businesses. Through her coaching programs, keynotes, podcasts, and award-winning book, The Empowered Woman, The Ultimate Roadmap to Business Success, Marta blends storytelling, thought leadership, and practical speaking strategy so women can be seen, heard, and paid for their voices. Welcome to Serious Lady Business, Marta. Marta Spirk (00:50) Yes. Thank you so much for having me. I'm super excited to chat. Leslie Youngblood (00:58) my goodness. Well, I had to emphasize that last part paid for their voice because there is so much value in our voices. And I love that we're going to be talking, building a voice that also lasts today. And you are somebody who's been in the online space for years, clearly from that incredible bio that we just shared for you. What has longevity taught you that trends never could? Marta Spirk (01:25) Mm. I love that. Well, I think it's the power of not giving up essentially. ⁓ have a Martaism that I like to drop here then and again, that is people will notice you if you don't go away. So there's something to be said about, and it's funny, I was teaching about this the other day and I was like, what's an animal that doesn't disappear and keeps coming back and somebody says cockroach? And I was like, well, I need something a little bit cuter. Maybe if she has a skirt and a crown, we can, you Leslie Youngblood (01:49) ⁓ yes! That's a big scooter. Marta Spirk (01:55) own the cockroach. But that's the idea is that, you know, you don't let it get you down. You're resilient ⁓ and you keep coming back. And that's what allows you to have that longevity and for people to recognize you. In a world where things disappear in 24 hours, I mean, talk about social media content and stories, what will actually stay is your ⁓ decision, really. It's your decision to not stop and Leslie Youngblood (01:56) Yeah, she's gonna spit. Mmm. Marta Spirk (02:24) people will notice that and they'll be able to track it back, you know, with search, through search engines, you know, that you've been on. Leslie Youngblood (02:28) Sure. Mm I love that because it is so simple yet so unglamorous and it's not what people want to hear. And, you know, I feel like I have this conversation a lot with the clients that I work with and in my daily life, whether I'm talking about a workout program, right, or building a business. It's like we all want the quick fix. We want the viral posts. We want the beach. body, which I hate that term, but right, we want to get fit with a step of our fingers or a pill or this and that. And there are pills now that can do that and help people that need it, which I think is great. But really, when you don't have that, it's really as simple as being consistent so people end up having to pay attention to you. And I feel like there is a Taylor Swift quote that she talks about that somehow where she's like, I'm not going away or I want people. I'm just going to stick around until people to notice me. And I feel like that's a testament. Marta Spirk (03:00) Yeah. Leslie Youngblood (03:26) and a great example because, you know, she's somebody who started young was discounted and years later has the largest grossing tour of all time, has become a self-made billionaire and has all because she's gone through all sorts of public discourse and just refuses to stop and doesn't care. And it's so and I feel like anybody listening that is really, you know, exactly what you're saying, too. And it doesn't mean you have to play the virality game or the. Marta Spirk (03:29) Yes. Yeah. Leslie Youngblood (03:54) even the relevance game, feel like, like we all try to be relevant. But so and I would love to hear what your thoughts are on the difference between being relevant and being resonant. Marta Spirk (04:06) Mm-hmm. that's such a good question. You have the best questions! ⁓ Leslie Youngblood (04:09) I'm sorry. Marta Spirk (04:10) That's so true because people are seeking the viral because that's that instant. And I'll just, I just want to speak to that for a second because I have had several clients come to me want to start working with me because they did something that made them go viral. And interestingly enough, I had a client that made a post commenting about Taylor Swift and that generated a lot of attention. All of a sudden at the drop of a hat, she gained lots of new followers and she's like, how do I leverage this? Leslie Youngblood (04:30) We love you. Marta Spirk (04:40) And it's very interesting because a lot of people that get this overnight thing, usually they don't have the structure and they don't have what it takes to actually leverage that because it takes a while to learn what you're good at and what you monetize, you know? So speaking to don't give up, don't go away, because eventually you will find where you fit in that beautiful marriage of what people want from you and what you can offer, which is essentially the core of business. Now, talking about Leslie Youngblood (04:40) And there's that. Right. You know? That was nice. Marta Spirk (05:09) relevance and I think social media has really, you know, done a trick on us in terms of that because there are so many, I just, I thought that this idea was gone, but clearly it was not. I stumbled upon a post ⁓ on Instagram, like in the explore page saying, you need to timestamp your stories and you need to start talking about what you're doing in your day. And I was like, my gosh, people are still doing that. Like they're still sharing every moment of their day. I remember when I started with network marketing and that's what was encouraged and it was exhausting, especially as a mom of littles. Like I need to talk about everything that I eat and where we're going and you know, the B-roll of me setting up, changing, getting in the car. Like quickly I decided this is not for me because I'm busy doing other things and it's just so like, it takes up so much brain space and energy that is not allowing me to show up fully. Leslie Youngblood (05:39) Mm-hmm. Sure. I'm sorry. Marta Spirk (06:03) for either the clients, the prospects or my family. So I decided I wasn't going to do that. So social media has not helped with that and a lot of voices on social media because they say, you need to be on all the time. Otherwise you lose your relevance to what you're saying. But throughout the years, and it took me time, it wasn't overnight because I played that game for a long time. And I wanna say that it was in the last couple of years that I... Leslie Youngblood (06:06) Thank Good. Marta Spirk (06:29) allowed this feeling, this need, right? Because it's almost like a drug, like, my gosh, I didn't post today. What if people forget who I am? Right? It's this fear to then the trust of I am positioned in a unique way and I trust myself enough to know that I can take a break and that people are still going to be out there and that I can still reach out to them and have conversations and close clients. So it's something that one of my mentors said, Leslie Youngblood (06:38) Right? them. Mm. Marta Spirk (06:57) Do not lead your business and your life for that matter with frantic energy. So I think the resonance comes into that place of I am not desperate because people notice that. They notice when you're desperate when you're seeing them as another, you know, a number or as a money sign versus the connections because it's quality over quantity if you know how to position the back end. So back to what I had just said, if you're still living in the land of I'm going to run ads to my $27 offer. Leslie Youngblood (07:09) yeah. Marta Spirk (07:28) I'm sorry, that's tough. That's a tough place to be in. And once I switched into having more high ticket, having qualified conversations and less conversations and less content for that matter, everything shifted for me because I don't feel like I need as many numbers people. I'm just having better conversations and it's a lot of trust in who I am, what I have to offer. Leslie Youngblood (07:40) Bye. bright. Yeah. And again, it sounds so simple and it makes so much sense once you figure it out. But when you're in it, can feel so frustrating and desperate because you're like, what do I mean? I need to pay my bills and I have to fix it. I'm still kind of things are trickling in. And so I have to keep on that hamster wheel, essentially a self-made hamster wheel. And and then, like you said, your energy is off. It disconnects you from your voice. You may be more likely to take a client that's not aligned. Marta Spirk (08:09) Yes. Leslie Youngblood (08:19) with what you do or who you, the type of person you want to work with. Was there a moment when you realized that chasing visibility could disconnect you from your voice, yourself, Marta? Marta Spirk (08:30) Yes, absolutely. Because at the end of the day, chasing visibility means and I mean, and I say, I still say to clients, you need to be visible. But there is a difference, you know, with chasing. And I think of it as equaling it to validation, right? When you're not backing it up with a structure of a business. And it's more so look at me and tell me I'm doing a good job. And that doesn't pay. You know, believe me, I have, you know, Leslie Youngblood (08:54) Bye. ⁓ Marta Spirk (08:58) looked for the likes, the comments, but if you don't have that structure in the backend, visibility doesn't mean much. And time and time again, people will come to me and say, you know what, I just need more eyeballs. Do you really, or do you need to get clearer on what you can offer? Because it's again, quality over quantity. And we've known this from watching influencers. They can have a bajillion followers, but... Leslie Youngblood (09:10) Mmm. Marta Spirk (09:20) What are they gaining out of that? Selling their souls to sponsorships and having to film their every waking moment. Is that the lifestyle that you want? Because it's not for me with a family and children. Leslie Youngblood (09:29) Right? Right. Right. And maybe it is for them. Maybe it works for them. And that's okay. And I love that you said there because it's visibility is different for every person too, right? For one woman, it might be that influencer lifestyle. For another, it might be posting on LinkedIn. For another, it might be being in somebody's inbox every day. But we get in our heads of like, I have to be an influencer. post five, 10 times a day, right? Like, Gary, like, are you out of your, like, can you imagine? I don't know. And so it's like, if it feels wrong, then it means it's disconnecting you from your voice and there's a different way to use it that will work for you. And so I think that that's just really important for us all. Remember, because whether you're just starting or whether you've been in it, there's always, or, you know, there's always a new tool that's coming along to help you or everybody's hot on as well. So I think. Marta Spirk (09:56) that. I don't Leslie Youngblood (10:24) it's really important and you may not even realize that you're performing, right? Versus utilizing your voice. Is there, how do you even know without somebody telling you that Marta? How do know you're performing versus expressing? Marta Spirk (10:40) think it has a lot to do with that clarity of who you are and that comes with time as well. But having mentors and people to reflect back because you may think you know ⁓ what you're doing and who you are, but listening to your network, listening to clients, think there's such huge value in reverse engineering and analyzing data of once somebody says yes to you, where did they come from? What was the sales cycle, so to speak? Like how long did it take for them to actually say yes to you? And what did they say yes to? Because let's not reinvent the wheel. Let's do more of what works and less of what does not. ⁓ And to your point, different things work for different people and there are different seasons, right? There was a season where I was okay with posting more often because people will ask me, how are you doing this all the time? And to me it was like, well, ⁓ I enjoy it. Leslie Youngblood (11:17) I'm doing it. Marta Spirk (11:33) And I'm doing it. And then now I'm at a moment where it's like, delegate a lot. So I'm still being visible, but I am not the one doing it. And so when you were talking about, know, influencers and other people, you have to realize that some of them have large teams and people that literally are walking with them, recording that content. So it's not just you with your tripod trying to do it all by yourself and then spending hours editing that stuff. Like there's other people doing it. Leslie Youngblood (11:34) See ya. Yeah. I'm home. yeah. Marta Spirk (12:00) So there's, you know, ⁓ my gosh, there's so much, I think, behind the scenes that people don't see. And that's intentional to make it look like it's effortless, you know? But once you see the behind the scenes, for one, it's not as glamorous as it looks because work is work. So I've been saying this a lot. You know, there's the quote, you know, find something you love and you won't work another day in your life. That's BS. There is work involved. There are moments when you're not going to want to show up because we're human. Even if you love it. Like, I love my clients. Leslie Youngblood (12:07) to work. ⁓ Right. Marta Spirk (12:30) And after, when we're done with the call, I'm like, my gosh, now I remember why I love doing this. But some days I don't wanna get the call started. Some days it's a rough start, you know? So we gotta remember that. We're human. Leslie Youngblood (12:40) Yes. Oh my goodness. A hundred percent. And it is. And that's why I love these conversations because you learn everything. Everything is a mirage in a way, right? Like all these things we put out. And that was something that really flipped my brain when I was in the corporate space playing the corporate game of like, I want the corner office and I want the title and I want the salary. And then you get there and not only are you burned out because it's not aligned, but then you see the people that are doing it also have no idea and are no smarter than you. And behind the scenes, it's like, wait, why I was supposed to get to a place where it's a weather that's in corporate or in your own business. Like I'm going to get to my million dollar a year and you get your million dollar a year and you're burned out and you're exhausted. And you're like, this isn't how it's supposed to be. It's because something along the way you. weren't aligned with or you got carried away by the idea of what you thought you should do. And it's so easy. We all do it. And so I think it's important to have these conversations. It's all a joke. It's all a joke. mean, it's all a play. know, if life is but a stage. But that's you know, such a truth that I think we again forget to take into consideration when we're just trying to grind it out. Marta Spirk (13:42) Yeah, I'll do it. Thank Leslie Youngblood (14:00) and build a successful business and life. And it can be said, you know, how important sustainability is in that action and sustainable action. And it takes consistency, but you're ambitious. You're like ready to roll. You don't want to lose out on opportunity and you're feeling that drive. But what does sustainable ambition look like from your perspective, Marta? Marta Spirk (14:25) ⁓ I love that because I've been having lots of these conversations about what ambition means because I think it means different things again for different people but at different stages. So for me ambition in the beginning meant that drive that I'm not going to say no to an opportunity obviously you know if it feels aligned or whatever but a lot of it had to do a little bit with FOMO like I don't you never you don't know who's in the room. maybe this is going to be, you know, an amazing connection. And especially as you're starting out in business, there, there's a lot of truth in that. Like you want to build that visibility and to not shy away from opportunities because everything is a connection and it's a planted seed for the future. But then there's a moment, which it, what I feel like I'm living now where I've been in a lot, in a lot of rooms, I've done a lot of things and a lot of things. And that has come with time because you know, it's interesting cause I think that's been a theme in my life. remember I got married, generally speaking, young. I was 23. And ⁓ I moved away from Brazil to marry my American husband and came to America. And I remember the words that my dad, the word that my dad said when he handed me off was patience. Because for me, my entire life, it's like everything now and everything fast, everything yesterday. So I have brought this energy into my business. Leslie Youngblood (15:40) you Mmm. Marta Spirk (15:47) Which I think is a positive, because I'm willing to do what it takes. I am not going to back down. Like, tell me I need to do something. I'm doing it probably two minutes after you told me. I'm not going to wait. And I know there are some people that are like, analytical, know, let's wait out. Let's see. And to me, that kills me because I'm like, I'm there right now. You know, don't don't ask me twice. I will weigh out the choices and benefits after the fact and learn from it, you know. But at this moment in my life, I feel like ambition. Leslie Youngblood (15:59) Yeah. Marta Spirk (16:17) has meant a lot of integration ⁓ and maturity as well. Like being mature enough to know that I don't have to chase, that I have done my time in the chasing ⁓ time, you know, in the chasing season, because in the beginning it took a lot of that to fine tune. But then once you ⁓ have built your credibility and you have done the work, which I have for several years, it's about Leslie Youngblood (16:27) Mmm. Marta Spirk (16:47) Just learning to be at peace with what you've accomplished because it can be exhausting and then it becomes more of that validation that you realize never comes, you know, to speak to this happens in corporate as well. Like, where else can you go? I'm going to have to buy the company. I'm going have to be the president, but you're still going to have problems, right? Life will still be life. So it's coming to the point where Leslie Youngblood (17:07) Yeah, right. Marta Spirk (17:15) I'm not going to fall off the face of the earth, which that could be a desire that you have. You know, I don't know. It could be that the next phase of retirement. I don't know. But it's more so like learning to enjoy. know it's cliche, but having that gratitude of look at how far I've come. I actually have a lot of wisdom and I can help somebody out that's just starting by having conversations like this and telling them not everything that glitters is gold. And I know that not because it's a Leslie Youngblood (17:20) Mm-hmm. Right? Yes. Marta Spirk (17:44) you know, a saying, I've seen it with my own two eyes. Leslie Youngblood (17:49) 100%. And once you see it, you'll never forget it either. Right. It's like an important lesson that you'll carry with you. I also think though, too, Marta, it's a testament to you because you learn to delegate, like you said. Right. And so it's like, what's next? I can't sustain this. You know, and so many business owners and women, because we juggle and do so many things, will become a bottleneck in our business because we don't want to give things up. to whether we feel like it's admitting weakness or that we don't know or that we aren't so trusting in the people. How did you figure, how did you navigate that when you were at that stage? Marta Spirk (18:34) Yeah, I think it's it's again that trust in yourself, right? That you can't I could absolutely do this, but it's going to take me so much more time. And I think with having done this for so long, it's almost like, my gosh, this makes me want to take a nap. I'd rather have somebody else do it and then have to fix it or just not be 100 percent the way I wanted it to do, then have to do it myself, honestly, and always. And also the trust that it's still OK. Leslie Youngblood (18:58) Mm-hmm. Marta Spirk (19:02) because I've been doing this for a while and I know better that it doesn't have to be, you know, this specific way for it to work. I know I think a lot of it is that trust ⁓ in myself and in others. And ⁓ also being willing to ⁓ give up on people's expectations. I think, you know, is this going to look weak? I don't care at this point. If you think I look weak, that's on you, you know? Leslie Youngblood (19:11) Mm-hmm. Hmm. Marta Spirk (19:30) And if you're wasting your time thinking about me looking weak, you're wasting your time because you should be doing something else, focusing on yourself. And honest to God, this has taken, I think, the longest time. And it's just, think, in looking about like my life path and the different personality frameworks and different things that I've studied throughout the years, I know. And it's interesting because that's what I talk about. And that's the focus of my business, because I think it's like the life lesson that you're meant to learn. That's why. Right. ⁓ Leslie Youngblood (19:35) Right. Right. Yeah, hot, yes. Marta Spirk (19:59) is not seeking people's approval and to impress people. And when you look at me with a life of a performer and helping people be visible, that's exactly what a lot of it is. It's I need to look impressive to build credibility and build authority. ⁓ But on the same hand, I don't depend on that as my identity and to feel good about myself. Like, ooh, it's so hard to separate the two. It's so hard to separate the two. Leslie Youngblood (20:04) Mmm. my gosh, can't even especially as a performer because that's the basis you're picked for your chosen or the audience laughs or they don't laugh or they react or they don't and it's very quick like in the net sense and it's very raw. I can't imagine how raw that is and we can take it internally and make it about us or you can just realize You got to do it and move on and that you have to let go of the outcome. And that's probably when you get your great role or have that great talk or the voice really clicks. And it's it's it's frustrating that it has to work that way. But it does. Yeah. Marta Spirk (21:07) Yeah, it's the only way. Yeah, I mean, it's learning, right? It's learning to walk while falling. There's no other way. There's no other way. And it's so frustrating. And it really is what you were saying, when do know the difference between performing and expressing? And that's it. It's the rawness of at the end of the day, I don't really care if you come up to me because I've had so many, you know, Leslie Youngblood (21:12) Yes, yes, there's other way. Marta Spirk (21:30) Based on what you're telling me, you understand what I'm saying. I've had people when I started singing and really putting myself out there, people would come back to me and say, I have some strategies and exercises to help you project your voice more. And I'm sure they thought that they were helpful, but you you go through these things and that can make you second guess yourself. And it's got nothing to do with the audience and what they say to you. It's how you take it. So it's tough. Leslie Youngblood (21:50) Right. my goodness. ⁓ 100%. I completely agree. And I think, and I want to go back to two with delegating because I think that's so important. And I learned this lesson recently where I delegated something and the person brought it back and it was even better than I expected. And I was like so stressed about letting this thing go and giving it to somebody else. And it came back and I'm like, my God. I'm Marta Spirk (22:10) Hmm. Leslie Youngblood (22:18) And you forget in your brain that's just like, you know, go, go, go, go. And I got to do this and I don't want to give this up. But I know I have to. And then somebody gives it back. And it's like way better than you ever could have done. And it's like, this is why you also have to delegate, because you got to let others shine and express themselves. And you're all working together and they see the vision. And so you can you're you're you're hindering yourself or you're taking away that ability to be delighted by people, too, in that collective. Marta Spirk (22:45) Yeah. Leslie Youngblood (22:46) coming together to make something really cool that is in your brain into reality. Marta Spirk (22:51) Yeah, absolutely. And also understanding that everybody has, we talk about this, but then we forget. Because as solopreneurs, when we start, we have to do everything, right? So it's so hard. It's like you're telling me I need to delegate, but when I first started, I need to do everything. Like pick something, you know? Make up your mind. And it's like, no, it's different phases of things. And understanding that people have different zones of genius. I've just been having this conversation with my sister, actually, because she's like, I don't know what I want to do next, and feeling kind of lost in her direction. And she's like, what I'm really good at, I think, is Leslie Youngblood (23:05) You know, don't... Marta Spirk (23:19) helping organize and I'm like, you're totally ops. And she's like, what does that even mean? Cause like in the, in the world of business, you know, I'm like, well, let me tell you what this means. In the world of business, like, that's total opposite. I am not the ops person. I am the person that comes in. I encourage you, you know, I set the room on fire and I'm like, no, go out there and do great things. And again, it takes a while for you to get to the point of not only recognizing that you're good at that and being like, and I'm not good at the other things. Leslie Youngblood (23:24) you Marta Spirk (23:46) Let other people, let me be delighted by other people that are great with spreadsheets that are so organized. And I can let that go, not because it's a sign of weakness, but it's actually, to think Brene Brown, vulnerability is strength, to admit, I suck at this and I don't wanna be good at it because I'm almost 40 and I've my lane. Leslie Youngblood (23:49) Right. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yes. Yes. Right. I'm over it. I'm good. Somebody else, please, please help me. I want to give this away. I want to give this away. And you've come so far and done so much, Marta. Tell us a little bit about your journey and how your voice has evolved over time. Marta Spirk (24:27) my gosh, it's crazy to think and I think the closest I get to turning 40, which will be in a few months, it's having me reflect even harder on the last 10 years. I mean, obviously the last 40 years, but especially with having my business, they have been the biggest life bootcamp because they have gone hand in hand with raising my kids. So I have triplets, they recently turned 10 and I actually started my business when they ⁓ were just a few months old. So it's been in parallel, you know, raising my kids and raising, they say your business is your baby too. So like the fourth baby there. ⁓ And it's been, it's been a journey of allowing myself to lean into the things that I have felt, felt the pull to do, which I'm very grateful that the entrepreneurial journey allows for that. Because when you're, you know, when you have a boss and when you have somebody telling you what to do, Leslie Youngblood (25:04) Yes. Marta Spirk (25:23) You don't have as much freedoms to go out on a whim and say, want to do a photo shoot. I want to rebrand, right? I want to change. And that's where I've been also able to dive into music more because I realized I'm the boss here. So if I want to add this, even if I don't know exactly what it looks like, I can. I can experiment. I think that's what this journey has taught me is the power of experimentation. and not being afraid that it doesn't lead anywhere because it did if they give you information on where you wanna go next, you know? And not being so attached to failure or success or being willing to ⁓ modify your definition of success as you go, that's been the journey really. Cause to me in the beginning success meant, I don't know, hitting six figures. Cause that's what I saw everybody talking about, you know? And then I hit six figures and it's like, wow, this guys didn't part. Leslie Youngblood (25:59) Yeah. Sure. Huh? Marta Spirk (26:14) interesting, I thought they would, you know, and it's like the goalpost moves and and then figuring out what is that, you know, and so I think this journey of starting, I started with network marketing because that's where I was at, you know, postpartum with little babies and the promise of make a few bucks while your kids are napping to realizing I really cannot have a boss. I want to build my own things and I want to sell my own things and then figuring out what what is that. Leslie Youngblood (26:15) Mm-hmm. Yeah. Marta Spirk (26:43) you what does the audience want? What can I offer? Moving from life coaching into more marketing and now full on being in the world of messaging and speaking. And to look back and say, you know, I have two degrees in English. I started teaching English in Brazil when I was 14 years old. It's always been about voice and it's always been communication, you know? So it's like, I knew I had a glimpse, but it took all these years to see it come to pass and it's not over. So it'll still unfold. Leslie Youngblood (27:00) Wow. and Right. Sure. Well, and there's people that go their whole lives and don't figure anything out, right? And don't want to get honest or given to themselves and what your inner voice is telling you truly. Is there something that younger Marta believed about success that you no longer believe, Marta? Marta Spirk (27:30) I it has a lot to do with, and I'm still letting go of that. think, again, I really believe that this is my life's journey is I don't need the applause and the accolade to feel good about myself. Like I am worthy as I am just by being who I am. And I don't need all of that. I can have it, but I don't need it. And I thought that I needed it, you know? So that's, and. Leslie Youngblood (27:43) Mm. Hmm... Hmm... Hmm... Yep. Marta Spirk (27:58) It's like I know now that I don't need, but getting to the point where I feel it in my bones, I think that that's the journey, right? So I think she thought she didn't know that she didn't need it. Now I've because I've accomplished so much, now I know better. But there are times because I want to be honest that I still feel like. This is going to be something that is going to add to my life and make me feel better about myself. And time and time again, I am proven wrong that it's not. It's really within and it's always been within, you know? Leslie Youngblood (28:29) No no no no. Mmm. mean, if that's not just the journey for all of us, right? We project and look externally when really it's an inside job. And it's really hard. It's the hardest job of all is that, is there something that you've learned that you're no longer willing to do for growth, Marta? Marta Spirk (28:56) think compromise my values and my family life because like I said, I was so gung-ho on many things and that was a point of contention in my marriage for a long time because my husband is not in the entrepreneurial world and I'm grateful for that. have resented it but it's good to have somebody outside of it to ground you ⁓ and that's hard to say that people, know, Leslie Youngblood (29:06) Mmm. Yes. Marta Spirk (29:23) couples that are both entrepreneurs that don't have a good life. just saying in my instance, this has been good for me because we really balance each other out. Like he's the analytical. mean, he's an electrician, so he needs to be very attention to detail. You know, his life depends on it. ⁓ And I'm the total opposite. I'm flying high in the sky, you know, so we really help each other in that sense. ⁓ But I think in the beginning, ⁓ Leslie Youngblood (29:34) Yeah. You Marta Spirk (29:50) It's almost like I resented my reality of I felt like, you know, having triplets was holding me back. ⁓ So I needed to go even faster and, harder because it's like I'm losing opportunities and time. And now 10 years later, I look back and these were some of the things that he would tell me, you know, it's like, it's okay. You don't have to do this now. You can wait until later, but it didn't matter because that's where I was at, you know, and I'm grateful that he stuck with me. Even... Leslie Youngblood (29:56) Mmm. Yes! Marta Spirk (30:19) it all. But now I look back and I was like, dang it, I didn't need to. Again, I didn't need to, but I did. So I have many results and fruits out of that because I did it. So that's good. I'm grateful for it. But I think now I am, it's been easier to say no because in the beginning, everything was a yes, you know, because it's like, what if this my big break? And now that I'm doing this, I'll do anything. Leslie Youngblood (30:25) Mmm. Yeah. Right. Right. Yeah, right! Anything! Marta Spirk (30:48) Now that I realize there is no big break. It's a combination of many opportunities. It's really a puzzle and there are pieces in the puzzle. There is not a giant piece. Otherwise, it's not a puzzle. You know? It's not. Leslie Youngblood (30:51) Mmm. Yeah, it's not a puzzle if it's a giant piece. I love it. I mean, I relate to that so much because my husband is not in business. My husband is a firefighter and it's really difficult because so with his particular profession, we've had arguments and discussions. Marta Spirk (31:05) Yes. Okay. Leslie Youngblood (31:22) More so when I was in a corporate space, I was working 80 plus hours a week. That was but that was me making bad decisions and not setting boundaries that I so I take full responsibility. But even now as an entrepreneur and just in general, it's like he's on it eight and he's off at eight and nobody is texting him about things about work in that time that he's off work. And so when I'm like, you know, just work and I could like work for forever, like, you know, do this, it like frustrates him and he doesn't get it. And I'm like, you know. Like, you don't understand. I wish I had somebody that understood. But then I think I chose this person that is at a totally different perspective than me, right? And compliments me and it's not exactly the same and challenges me. I chose this. This is my person for a reason and I have to learn from this. And this is making me think differently and being a better entrepreneur, professional, mom and wife, because I'm not like... Marta Spirk (32:04) Mmm. Yeah. Leslie Youngblood (32:16) ignoring my, not that I'm ignoring my family for hours and hours upon and I'm being more present and trying to do better. And he's also learning. And so it's just so funny. And I would love to have a conversation. I've thought about bringing him on, but having conversations with ⁓ female entrepreneurs about the spouse dynamics, because so much of what we're also and I think it's changing. And I think that's something that's really important to see and know more female entrepreneurs, more female business owners. But we see these successful men. Marta Spirk (32:34) Yeah. Leslie Youngblood (32:46) Right. And the majority of VC funding goes to men. VC funding goes to men. And there's women supporting them behind the scenes through their kids with, you know, all the things. it's like, my God, you know how much I could accomplish if I had a wife. Man, was right in there. So it's just it's just a different. And it's not to say it's holding us back. We just have to do it differently. We have a different path and our. Marta Spirk (33:01) Hahaha Right. Yes. Leslie Youngblood (33:12) It's not a hindrance, it's an asset, and we just have to figure out how to make it work in our puzzle and find that puzzle piece too. So it's just and then I don't know if you think about this. I wrote this book. I want to talk about this because I'm sure you'll have opinions on it, Marta. Have you heard of the nine nine six rule for working? Marta Spirk (33:19) Yeah, absolutely. I don't think so. Leslie Youngblood (33:32) the 996. It's really big. It's like big in the VC and like the startup space, I think primarily out in Silicon Valley. But I saw a post about it recently about a founder, male founder who uses this 996 rule. It's was it? ⁓ my goodness. Nine from nine in the morning to nine at night, six days a week. They're focused on work and building something out. And and I'm like, Listen, nine a.m. to nine p.m. Can you imagine like And your kids get off school at 350. And then it's so, it's like begging for burnout that's begging for, you know, for chaos. And it's just such a male, I think school of thought, like, obviously, a male came up with that way Marta Spirk (34:02) Thanks. Yeah, there's a lot of press. Mm-hmm. Leslie Youngblood (34:20) in Marta Spirk (34:20) you Mmm. my gosh. So first of all, I want to speak to this thing that you just mentioned and something you said before when and thank you for sharing about your journey and your marriage and your relationship because that is really important to talk about because for a long time when I first started we are so Susceptible when we're you know beginner entrepreneurs because we don't know anything So tell me what to do and I'll listen to you especially if you look successful and there was a huge You know, there still is sort of but I think things are shifting but there was a huge movement of boss babes that retired their husbands and that was the goal Leslie Youngblood (34:25) You That's good. Mm-hmm. yeah. Marta Spirk (34:50) That Leslie Youngblood (34:51) Yep. Marta Spirk (34:52) is the measure of success, right? If you retire your husband, you've reached the epitome. That is never happening in my life. My husband is never going to allow me to retire him. He's always going to be doing something and he really prides himself in his trade. ⁓ In fact, he wants to indoctrinate my kids like, don't go to college, get into the trades. because that's his life, that's what he knows. So it is, yeah. So whatever works for somebody else does not necessarily work for you. And something you said is I have a different path. Leslie Youngblood (35:06) Aww. I love it. Totally. It's important. Marta Spirk (35:20) And we all have a unique path. And that's something that in the beginning of my business, it helped me. And again, I started seeing it, but it took a while for me to actually internalize it and embody it because, you know, we're stubborn, but it's like seeing somebody's life and thinking, my gosh, she has it all together. And then realizing, no, she doesn't. She may be making a million dollars, but you know, her marriage is falling apart, whatever it may be. And that's not to point fingers, but that is to say, Leslie Youngblood (35:33) down. Marta Spirk (35:48) You don't want somebody else's life. You really don't. You really don't because at the end of the day, they have a completely different background, a completely different setup. You have your own path. So just be proud of it and learn to work with it. And I say this because of my unique situation with having triplets. Like I am not a single woman that is just dating a guy and can do the nine to nine, six days a week. I'm not. So why would I put myself in there? Leslie Youngblood (35:51) night. Marta Spirk (36:16) and jeopardize my, the things that I already have that are sacred to me, which are my marriage and my children, because somebody out there said that I need to do that. No way. No, thank you. I will find what works for me. And again, if that works for me and my husband's on board and we're working it out, then that's okay. But I have had several mentors that didn't say necessarily directly to me, but part of their teachings were, if your husband's not on board, say goodbye, you know? Leslie Youngblood (36:19) Yummy. Marta Spirk (36:45) If your husband's not on board, you just got to keep going. Right. And again, there's something to be said about, you know, certain relationships where you have to know when it's time to say goodbye. Right. But then there are moments where it's like you need to stick it out and it's actually your fault that it's not working out. You know. So now speaking about burnout, which is what was your original question? And I have so many thoughts. Leslie Youngblood (36:51) Hmm Sure, right. Yes. Marta Spirk (37:11) than so many things that you said that I was like, my gosh, I need to piggyback on that and comment. ⁓ I feel like a lot of it is grounding yourself in the people that love you and want the best for you. And sometimes it's not the other entrepreneurs around you. Maybe it is, but sometimes it's not. It's actually what we were just talking about at the end of the day, the people that are not in business, the people that don't know what your world looks like. Leslie Youngblood (37:25) Mm-hmm. ⁓ you Marta Spirk (37:40) And then they can look you in the eye and say, I will still love you even if all of it falls apart in your shadow band online. We can move. Exactly. We can move. You're hacked. Whatever. You lose all your people and nobody wants to buy from you anymore. We can move to the country and we will have a life and it'll be OK. I think having that support is super important, but maybe it could be other entrepreneurs. Leslie Youngblood (37:47) Mmm. Yeah. Once all of your shadow man- Marta Spirk (38:10) that give it to you straight and say, you're chasing things that are not going to fulfill you because they know better. So I would say it's having that support network around you because they will pick you back up and say, hey, that was not the path. You didn't listen, you know, or you just had to go down that route to understand. Sometimes we do, we have to go down that route to be like, yeah, it's not here. So I think that's what has helped me in my chasing journey, you know, but Leslie Youngblood (38:36) Mm-hmm. Yes. Marta Spirk (38:39) what could help somebody else that's feeling burnt out is ground yourself in the people that truly, truly care about you because there's a lot of people out there that do not, they just want your money. Leslie Youngblood (38:48) on Marta Spirk (38:48) They're Yeah, so this book is sharing a little bit more about my journey, where I come from, who I am, and then the beginnings of building a business. So encouragement ⁓ in the beginnings of business and also in continuing on, but it's grounded in understanding who you are. So I, like I said, I'm a geek on personality stuff. So I leveraged the Enneagram, which is a framework that really, really helped me in the beginning of my business and still does. ⁓ Because it helped me see who I am and why I was drawn to doing the things that I was doing in a time of my life where I felt so confused with just having had triplets and moving back from Brazil to the United States and there was so much going on and I still felt this pull to start the business and I felt wrong, you know? So if you're feeling like you are wrong, like you're broken, I... Leslie Youngblood (39:37) Yeah. Marta Spirk (39:38) Created this book to help you realize that we all have our specific gifts like that's the goal of my book is to help you see that you are unique and there is something for you to do on this earth there is a purpose for you and There are people out there waiting for you to fulfill this purpose and start taking steps in to this Calling of yours so that they can benefit from it so that they can fulfill yours like I I love the imagery that the Bible brings of us being a body because I really think that that's what it is. And everything has its place. Nothing replaces the other and we need it all for it to work. understanding yourself really, really helps. And that's what the book is about. So I call it the ultimate roadmap to business success because I'm not sharing the gimmicks of message to people. And all those things are important. We have to do those, which is the boring things, right? I don't want to have to send the email, follow up email, you know. Leslie Youngblood (40:11) Mm-hmm. Yeah. Wait. Wait. I know. Yeah. I don't know what you're talking about. Right. Marta Spirk (40:36) Like we need to Leslie Youngblood (40:37) Yeah. Marta Spirk (40:37) do all those things, but it's more even before that, it's how do you feel about yourself? How do you feel about when people are not nice to you? You know, how does that impact how you show up? So that's, that's what I believe is the foundation anyway. Leslie Youngblood (40:52) are gonna judge Marta Spirk (40:52) Yeah. Leslie Youngblood (40:53) and Marta Spirk (40:53) Thank Yes, absolutely. So if you Google me, Marta Spurk, I am the only one as far as I know, so you should be able to find me. I, know, besides my website, MartaSpurk.com, I do have my podcast called The Empowered Woman. My book is on Amazon. I have music out on Spotify and Apple Music. And you can find me on LinkedIn, Instagram, and Facebook. Yes, it was my pleasure. Thank you.