Latest / The Career Mentor Podcast with Fexingo: Finding Mentors, Sponsors, and Career Advisors / How to Find a Mentor When You're a Non-Native English Speaker
Transcript
- Lucas: Luna, I was looking at some data from the Bureau of Labor Statistics this morning — between 2020 and 2025, the share of college-educated workers in the U.S. who speak a language other than English at home grew from about 19 percent to nearly 24 percent. Luna: That's a big jump in just five years. And I bet a lot of those professionals are navigating their careers in English as a second — or third — language. Lucas: Exactly. Which brings me to the topic for today. We've done 63 episodes on finding mentors in every imaginable scenario — as an introvert, as a remote worker, as a career returner. But we've never talked about what happens when the language you're networking in isn't the one you grew up speaking. Luna: And that is a huge and often invisible barrier. Look, if we've helped you think through a career move or decision — or if you've ever felt that language gap in a networking conversation yourself — we'd love it if you considered supporting the show. It's listener-supported, ad-free, and you can do it at buy me a coffee dot com slash fexingo. That genuinely helps us keep going. Lucas: Yeah, and we're grateful for every person who chips in. So — let's get into it. I want to start with a specific finding from a 2024 study in the Journal of Vocational Behavior. Researchers surveyed 500 foreign-born professionals in the U.S. and found that the single biggest predictor of whether they had a mentor was not their English fluency — it was their willingness to initiate the conversation. Luna: So it's not about perfection. It's about taking the first step. But that first step is exactly where language anxiety hits hardest. Lucas: Right. And one of the most practical strategies I've heard for that comes from a career coach I know who works with ESL professionals in tech. She calls it the 'pre-script' method. Before any one-on-one meeting — coffee chat, informational interview, even a casual catch-up — you write down three sentences you know you'll say. Your introduction, your key question, and your closing thank you. You practice them aloud three times. Luna: That's so simple but I bet it takes the edge off. You're not improvising under pressure. Lucas: Exactly. And it turns out there's a neuroscience reason for that. When you rehearse, you activate the same neural pathways — so when you're in the moment, your brain isn't scrambling for vocabulary. It's executing a motor pattern. That frees up cognitive bandwidth for listening. Luna: I love that. So the listener isn't worrying about 'am I saying this right?' — they're actually present in the conversation. Lucas: Right. Second strategy — and this one comes from a mentor of mine who is a VP at a large financial firm and grew up speaking Mandarin — she told me she uses what she calls the 'two-minute rule' for asking questions. If she's in a group setting and wants to ask something, she gives herself exactly two minutes to formulate the question in her head before she opens her mouth. That way she doesn't freeze mid-sentence. Luna: That's interesting because in many cultures, a pause is actually a sign of respect — but in fast-paced American meetings, silence can feel awkward. So she's using the pause productively. Lucas: And she said something else that stuck with me. She said, 'I used to apologize for my accent. Then I realized my accent is a sign that I speak two languages. The people who matter don't care about the accent — they care about whether you add value.' Luna: That's exactly the reframe that can unlock someone's confidence. And it's backed up by research — bilingual speakers actually show higher cognitive flexibility and task-switching ability. So in a way, being a non-native speaker can be an asset, not a liability. Lucas: Let's talk about the role of a sponsor — which is different from a mentor. A mentor gives advice. A sponsor uses their political capital to open doors for you. For a non-native speaker, a sponsor can be especially powerful because they can vouch for your competence in rooms where you might not have a seat yet. Luna: And how do you find that sponsor? Same way you find a mentor — through relationships. But I think the key is to demonstrate competence first. Show up, deliver results, and then ask for advocacy. Lucas: I'd add one more thing. If you're a non-native speaker and you're early in your career, consider targeting mentors who have themselves worked across cultures. They're more likely to understand the specific challenges — and less likely to misinterpret a pause or a grammatical stumble as lack of capability. Luna: That's a great tip. So not just any mentor, but a culturally competent one. And you can often identify those people through their LinkedIn profiles — look for international experience, multilingual profiles, or even posts about inclusion. Lucas: And here's a counterintuitive point I've heard from multiple non-native professionals: they actually prefer mentors who are native speakers, not other non-natives. The reason is that they want to absorb the cultural and linguistic nuances that come with the native perspective. Luna: That makes sense. But it also puts the onus on native-speaker mentors to be patient and open. And I don't think that's a given in every workplace. Lucas: No, it's not. And that's where companies can do better. A 2023 report from the Harvard Business Review found that organizations with formal mentorship programs for non-native speakers saw 30 percent higher retention rates among that group. It's not just a nice to have — it's a business advantage. Luna: So what's the one thing a non-native listener should do after hearing this episode? Lucas: I'd say pick one upcoming networking opportunity — a conference, a coffee chat, even a team meeting — and apply the pre-script method. Write down your three sentences, practice them, and then go in with the mindset that you belong in that room. Luna: And if you're a native speaker listening, maybe think about how you can be a better mentor to someone who's navigating a second language. A little patience goes a long way. Lucas: That's a great note to end on. Thanks, Luna. Luna: Thanks, Lucas. See everyone next time.