Latest / Darren “Whackhead” Simpson’s prank calls on Kfm Mornings / Whackhead Prank: Senseless survey – highway to hell and a stairway to heaven

Transcript

Whackhead Prank: Senseless survey – highway to hell and a stairway to heaven · Darren “Whackhead” Simpson’s prank calls on Kfm Mornings

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Here we go, Here we go. Here He's another senseless
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: survey from Darren Wackhead Simpson on KFM Mornings, KFM Mornings.
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: All right, throw a kiss at me, Sherlon Barnes. How
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: many says of survey questions will I ask this morning? Five? Five?
• 0:19
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I feel like people have moneless for you today.
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: Sure, morale is low the sighting five.
• 0:26
  Speaker 3: Okay, okay, I'm going to be a little bit more hopeful.
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: I'm going to say twelve. Dearren, Well, okay, Ramis con
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: fourteen questions? Fourteen you see you cheating? What are you cheating?
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: You're looking at the length of what you're about to play.
• 0:44
  Speaker 3: That's a long one.
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: Yeah, no, I just guess. I still guess, but I
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: get a little bit of an upper hand, a little bit.
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: Producer bread thirteen thirteen, number thirteen. All right, thank you?
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: So RuMIS you are the closest. Oh, yes, but you
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: are not correct. I thought he was gonna say no,
• 1:07
  Speaker 1: I won't. No, you didn't. All right, Umm, no more
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: takers on the WhatsApp telephone. Here we go, this is
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: where and these are very important questions. Like I said,
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: you know what I mean, these questions really need need
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: to be addressed before this nation can advance forward? You know, yeah,
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: So I will not hamper the progress of this nation,
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: and I will ask the questions that need to be asked,
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: and that is why I do the senseless survey. Thank
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: you for going speaking.
• 1:42
  Speaker 2: How may I help you coome morning?
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: Sir? I made you three one nine six two. I
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: just need to ask you a couple of questions for
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: your country. Won't take more than about thirty seconds. Okay,
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: let's do it. Pick So, why is there a highway
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: to hell and only a stairway to heaven?
• 2:00
  Speaker 2: Quickly get theres How many plants do you think humans
• 2:07
  Speaker 2: smoked before settling on tobacco?
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: I don't know against maybe five. Would you watch the
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: sequel to Mally and Me if the dog lives but
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: the owner does. Now are pets better than children because
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: they eat less, they don't ask for money, and if
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: they get pregnant, you can sell their babies. I want
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: the baby.
• 2:44
  Speaker 3: Money is something that comes in goes, so I should
• 2:47
  Speaker 3: not worry about money.
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: Do you know to never compliment a woman on her sideburns? No? Yes?
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: Would people read the obituaries a lot more if the
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: cause of death was described in detail. No, I don't
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: think so. Did you know that parents who informed their
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: children that they should know better are really only critiquing
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: their own parenting skills? Would it be more intimidating going
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: for a job interview at Google because you know they
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: know your entire search history and your browsing habits.
• 3:36
  Speaker 2: Yeah, definitely have been trouble because nowadays it's like everything that.
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: You do is just go Google. Did you know that
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: a German shepherd is also a type of human? Okay, okay,
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: all right? Look after some ship in from gym in.
• 3:58
  Speaker 1: When you lose a sock, should there be a place
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: to donate it for people with only one foot? I
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: know I would throw it with the other one. How
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: come we never wash our belts when it's the first
• 4:13
  Speaker 1: thing we touch after going to the toilet. Ah. Now,
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: every hot girl that has ever turned you down, does
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: it make you feel better that at some point she
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: has had explosive diarrhea? Uh? Explosive sounds. Sure he had
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: time for you. He got a tough set of questions
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: to that. Many put down questions. Actually the mally and
• 4:56
  Speaker 1: me one. But no, but listen they think about that,
• 5:04
  Speaker 1: think about that. No, I don't want to because I
• 5:07
  Speaker 1: can't watch a movie if an animal does. You know,
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: every dog movie, I know the dogs are gonna die.
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: I won't watch it and then make you fall in
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: love with that dog. And you can now hear it's coming, Yeah,
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: it's coming. So you see, maybe there would be more
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: watching the genre if that was the case.
• 5:28
  Speaker 3: Molly and me was brutal.
• 5:30
  Speaker 1: Look at baby, I mean, baby, let's not do a
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: rundown now of all the movies when I watch a
• 5:42
  Speaker 1: movie and and and the dog does, and it's I'm
• 5:46
  Speaker 1: just my whole week is what's that movie that whether
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: the dog follows the owner? That Japanese movie.
• 6:00
  Speaker 3: Because everyone was being like, oh good, that's too much,
• 6:03
  Speaker 3: I was like, Molly, I mean.
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: The most sort of traumatizing movie that I've ever watched
• 6:13
  Speaker 1: in my life. And I was a kid, and I
• 6:16
  Speaker 1: still went to the movies to go and see it.
• 6:18
  Speaker 1: Jock of the bushfelt, oh yeah, no, you bring up
• 6:25
  Speaker 1: that one once a year, Jock.
• 6:29
  Speaker 3: That was that was court trauma. And also when you
• 6:34
  Speaker 3: hear the Johnny Claig song, that totally that that was
• 6:39
  Speaker 3: especially rough because that was the owner.
• 6:42
  Speaker 1: You see, it's black eyed peas. I got a feeling
• 6:45
  Speaker 1: here on Cave Mornings and you are through to the
• 6:50
  Speaker 1: championship round Savannah. Good morning from Belvolle.
• 7:00
  Speaker 3: Guys, could god, we're healing minute by minute, hour by hour.
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: Yeah? Were you watching the football last night? I wasn't.
• 7:13
  Speaker 1: Not a football phone or no, that's okay. Did you
• 7:17
  Speaker 1: have a good night sleep at least?
• 7:20
  Speaker 3: I did? Okay?
• 7:22
  Speaker 2: Watching and ready for the week?
• 7:25
  Speaker 1: So what were you doing at nine o'clock last night?
• 7:29
  Speaker 1: Do you really want to know? Yes? I do. So.
• 7:33
  Speaker 1: It was my son's birthday this weekend, so you got
• 7:37
  Speaker 1: so much crazen. I was organizing his room.
• 7:39
  Speaker 3: Man, are you packing all his toys and his clothes
• 7:43
  Speaker 3: and so forth?
• 7:44
  Speaker 1: How old is your son? He just done five, precious,
• 7:50
  Speaker 1: So it's always it's all those one to two year
• 7:53
  Speaker 1: old toys that you're chucking out. Now it's just different
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: colored bits of plastic.
• 8:00
  Speaker 3: That's right. But doesn't it just feel amazing when everything
• 8:05
  Speaker 3: is organized and in its place?
• 8:08
  Speaker 2: Yes, but that's just the sad because it's like a
• 8:11
  Speaker 2: certain phase is now over now.
• 8:13
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I know that little walker. Did you check
• 8:18
  Speaker 1: that out or did you keep it for a long
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: time ago? Did you that bad? Did you check it out? Though?
• 8:24
  Speaker 1: Like gone no, no, we also all these old stuff
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: that he doesn't use anymore. We give away, right, okay,
• 8:32
  Speaker 1: and tell me how many cars had four wheels? Listen,
• 8:40
  Speaker 1: we don't even count anymore. Yeah, okay, alright, Savannah, give
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: me the correct answer. How many sens of survey questions
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  Speaker 1: did I ask?
• 8:51
  Speaker 2: But sixty?
• 8:53
  Speaker 1: That's the correct answer? Well done? Sixteen? You see that?
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: Is that a new record? No, I've been in the
• 8:58
  Speaker 1: twenties before. Okay, so listen, you deserve something really really nice. Yeah, okay,
• 9:08
  Speaker 1: let's spin the will Foster slow left or right? Savannah
• 9:14
  Speaker 1: fast and rides. Okay, so tell me something, Savannah. You're
• 9:34
  Speaker 1: a place where you live. Do you own it? No?
• 9:41
  Speaker 1: You renting? Oh, then this ain't going to be a
• 9:44
  Speaker 1: good price for you. It's a it's an Algae non
• 9:55
  Speaker 1: inverter back to back air conditioner unit from Ocean Breeze
• 9:59
  Speaker 1: air Conditioning. Yeah, it's an incredible price. But if it's
• 10:08
  Speaker 1: not your house, you're not going to be able to
• 10:10
  Speaker 1: put it in. If you don't know, it's my mother
• 10:14
  Speaker 1: in laws. Now okay, we yes, yes, yes, okay, your
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: mother in law's house. Remember if you move out to
• 10:23
  Speaker 1: just tell her she needs to pay you back for
• 10:26
  Speaker 1: this thing. How long is the lease?
• 10:32
  Speaker 2: So there's no contract with this.
• 10:34
  Speaker 1: We just we all love to do in one place. Okay.
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: So this is a nine thousand btu non inverter, back
• 10:42
  Speaker 1: to back air conditions. So you're gonna have to pick
• 10:45
  Speaker 1: a room. Who deserves to be warm? Do you have
• 10:47
  Speaker 1: any other aircorns in the house?
• 10:50
  Speaker 3: No?
• 10:51
  Speaker 1: Okay, You're going to have to decide who gets the heat.
• 10:55
  Speaker 1: I think you deserve it, yes, yeah, nice things. I
• 11:01
  Speaker 1: think nine thousand btu is ideal for like a four
• 11:06
  Speaker 1: bar four room four meters by four meters max. Might
• 11:11
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• 11:16
  Speaker 1: you've won this morning, Savannah, courtesy of Ocean Breeze. Much school, Savannah,
• 11:26
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• 11:30
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• 11:33
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• 11:36
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• 11:42
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• 11:49
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• 12:00
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• 12:04
  Speaker 1: zero seven four two three four one two three four