Latest / The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast / Almost Famous In Depth: Amanda Stanton

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Almost Famous In Depth: Amanda Stanton · The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: You've planned your wedding and now let the real fun
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  Speaker 1: slash Wedding dash Registry. This is Ben and Ashley, I
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: almost famous in depth. It's a rainy day. We're up
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  Speaker 1: in Napa Valley. Ashley and I are together having a
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: glass of wine. This is my first glass of wine
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  Speaker 1: in a week. Really, you know why I want to diet.
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  Speaker 1: I know I am too, so I've been trying to
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  Speaker 1: be better. But like I've gone three days without it.
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  Speaker 1: So I'm drinking a Glasswe We'll see what this takes me.
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  Speaker 1: This could get weird for me today. Um, but we're
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  Speaker 1: here with one of our favorite people, Amanda stanton Amanda
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  Speaker 1: stanton Um was on Ben Higgins's season of The Bachelor. Um.
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  Speaker 1: She's also appeared on Paradise. I had a couple of
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  Speaker 1: relationships that we'll talk about during the podcast, a lot
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  Speaker 1: of lessons, learned a lot of um amazing accomplishments along
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  Speaker 1: the way. But I want to set the mood right now.
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  Speaker 1: We're having a glass of wine. We're sitting across from
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  Speaker 1: each other at a beautiful table and a beautiful resort
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  Speaker 1: with a fire going, and it's raining outside. So if
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: I start snoring because I'm pretty relaxed, I feel like
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  Speaker 1: Ben's doing a fireside chat right now. It's kind of
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  Speaker 1: a fireside chat. Amanda, welcome to the podcast. Thanks for
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  Speaker 1: having me. Can I ask her a little like warm
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: up question? Since we are in Napa, I mean ard
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: drinking wine? What is your wine of choice? So right
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: now we're drinking Chardonnay. So I'm a big white wine person.
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  Speaker 1: You are, yeah, but I've been really into like the
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  Speaker 1: sauvignon blanc lately. Isn't that white? It's white? Yeah? Yeah,
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  Speaker 1: But I used to be like strictly chardonnay. Yeah, okay, yes,
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  Speaker 1: you're like you're like a housewife of Orange County basically basically, yeah,
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  Speaker 1: I'm on my way there. Okay, that could really be
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: your next show. I'm sure you can find your way
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: on there. I want to start this whole thing. Okay,
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: let's say talking about Let's let's backtrack. Let's start in
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: the middle, little backtrack after that. Okay, I met you
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  Speaker 1: obviously during The Bachelor. Um, I remember you from night
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  Speaker 1: one because you have this like and I think Ashley
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: will completely agree with me. You have this beauty about
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: you that that radiates and stands out. And I remember
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: one night one going that girl is gorgeous and she
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: doesn't talk, Yes, doesn't talk, didn't say a word, like
• 2:57
  Speaker 1: we sat down. When I think of Amanda, I think
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: of her being a talker. Actually she's just quiet, but
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  Speaker 1: I think her voice is awesome. I do know. I
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: always thought that you had a bad crap. You really
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: were that shy at night one. Yeah. So I think
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  Speaker 1: a lot of people don't realize is like when I
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: went on the show, I was a single mom. I like,
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: I hadn't even got my nails done in two years.
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: It was with my kids all the time because my
• 3:24
  Speaker 1: family lived across the country. They lived in well not
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: across but in St. Louis, so I was like far
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: away from them, and I had my kids full time
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: at the time, so like I just hadn't been social
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  Speaker 1: in a really long time. And then I was kind
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: of being like thrown into that. So my mom is
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  Speaker 1: actually the one that nominated me for the show. And
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: I remember when the car was coming to pick me
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  Speaker 1: up to take me there, I was like, I don't
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  Speaker 1: think I can do it, Like I don't want to go.
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  Speaker 1: My mom was like, you better get in the car, Amanda,
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  Speaker 1: and so I went. But I was just like a
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  Speaker 1: deer in headlights, Like I was so nervous, just because
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  Speaker 1: like I had never been away from my kids, I've
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  Speaker 1: never been social. I hadn't gone on the dating forever.
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  Speaker 1: So it was just like a lot for me. Was
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  Speaker 1: best super overwhelm. Was been your first date since your
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  Speaker 1: husband husband? Yeah, it was. It was like my my
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: first date was like our Mexico date on the Hot
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  Speaker 1: air balloon. This is my first date and like a
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  Speaker 1: very long time to do so it was fun. Yeah, yeah,
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  Speaker 1: it was great, but it was just different for me.
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  Speaker 1: Because like you know, most of the girls that were
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: going on the show had been like single for a
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  Speaker 1: while or they were young, and just my life was
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  Speaker 1: just very different before then, so I was nervous. You know.
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  Speaker 1: One of the things that stand out to me about
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  Speaker 1: the season the Bachelor is the only time I ever
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  Speaker 1: got really mad at the show. They made me tuck
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  Speaker 1: Amanda's kids in the bed, and I went to her hometown,
• 4:36
  Speaker 1: and I was excited about meeting her family, and I
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  Speaker 1: remember sitting a ground I'm not gonna I'm not gonna
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  Speaker 1: tuck her kids in the bed, and I knew that
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  Speaker 1: was something that everybody wanted, wanted to have happened, and
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  Speaker 1: I felt like at the time it was I remember
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  Speaker 1: this scenari we were sitting in the living when somebody
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  Speaker 1: comes in and they go, Okay, it's time for bed, Ben,
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  Speaker 1: howboult you go tuck the kids in? And I felt
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  Speaker 1: like I was put on the spot in that moment.
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  Speaker 1: And it was the only time I punched the window
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  Speaker 1: in the van on the way home because I was
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  Speaker 1: so angry because I felt like I was going to
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  Speaker 1: destroy those kids. And also Amanda, you know, was sitting
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  Speaker 1: there and I knew that they had to have a
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  Speaker 1: big impact because I was that first day. I was
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  Speaker 1: those kids first interaction with another man that had been
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  Speaker 1: around their mom. Yeah. Yeah, I mean I think the
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  Speaker 1: thing is, I mean that day specifically, there were so
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  Speaker 1: many other people around, and it was just a crazy
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  Speaker 1: day for them too. I hadn't seen them in like
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  Speaker 1: six weeks. It was the longest I've ever been away
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  Speaker 1: from them. And then we went to the beach, but
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  Speaker 1: it was like you were there, but there was also
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  Speaker 1: producers and tons of other people around. So I don't
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  Speaker 1: think it they really like understood the situation, if that
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: makes sense. They're a little older now, so now they
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  Speaker 1: get it. Like if I would bring a guy around,
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  Speaker 1: they'd be like, who is this? This is your boyfriend?
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: But I mean, Charlie, it's so funny when I like
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: watched that whole episode back. She was literally a baby.
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  Speaker 1: She was so small so she like she couldn't even talk,
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  Speaker 1: so she didn't know but I couldn't talk yet. I mean, yeah,
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  Speaker 1: she was a baby. Yeah. Um, Ben, did you know
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  Speaker 1: going into Top four that you thought that it would
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  Speaker 1: probably be the week that Amanda was gonna go home?
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  Speaker 1: Or were you really just did not know? Where you
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  Speaker 1: stood with her Kayla at the time, between the two
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  Speaker 1: of them, Quite honestly, I knew that that was the
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: moment still that that Lauren and Joejo were standing out,
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  Speaker 1: and which is why I singled out Kayla, Yeah, and
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  Speaker 1: and a man and Kaylor And I think if I
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: remember my thought process, which it was with Becca as well, right,
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  Speaker 1: I thought Becca was incredible Tilly and still his day,
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  Speaker 1: I think I love Becca Um. But it was almost
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  Speaker 1: like in my mind at the time, it was how
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  Speaker 1: long do you want to keep somebody around when you
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  Speaker 1: know at the end it's going to be somebody else?
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  Speaker 1: And after meeting Amanda's kids, I was like, how much
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  Speaker 1: do you want to keep a mom away from kids? Like?
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  Speaker 1: How long can you continue to do that knowing that
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  Speaker 1: you know at the end of this it's going to
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  Speaker 1: be one of two other people and probably the one person.
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  Speaker 1: But even then, you know, I know, it gets weird.
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  Speaker 1: And I I think I feel for any bachelor down
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  Speaker 1: in that final four bachelorrette because you do care about
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  Speaker 1: them all, because you've met their families at this point
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  Speaker 1: and we had a great, great hometown Um I got
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  Speaker 1: to meet the whole family, the sister Um and like
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  Speaker 1: you said, there are two kids, and they were they
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  Speaker 1: were babies at the time, but Kins he still had
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  Speaker 1: I remember you told me on the show like Kins
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  Speaker 1: had this personality that was like radiant. And you're like
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  Speaker 1: you remember this. We're driving the car in Malibu and
• 7:29
  Speaker 1: you said, uh no, there's Orange County and you said,
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  Speaker 1: Kinds is really my best friend. I was like, that's funny,
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  Speaker 1: that's a really cute mom thing to say. And then
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  Speaker 1: I met her. Actually, yeah, tell a little bit, like
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  Speaker 1: who is Like we see it on Instagram? They have
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  Speaker 1: these massive personalities. Yeah, but why does she stand out
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  Speaker 1: like that? Like why is she your best friend? Your daughter?
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  Speaker 1: Intimidates me to be honest. No, yeah, she's she's like
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  Speaker 1: she's something else. Um. So when she was born, it
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  Speaker 1: was funny because like as soon as we took our
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  Speaker 1: home from the hospital, like she already had a personality.
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  Speaker 1: It was the funniest thing. But she's always just been
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  Speaker 1: like super funny and she's just kids. Um. But shortly
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  Speaker 1: after so a lot of people don't know this, but
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  Speaker 1: when she was about ten months old, I actually split
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  Speaker 1: from her dad and I moved out and we moved.
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  Speaker 1: This is before my parents moved to St. Louis. We
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  Speaker 1: moved back into my parents house, so like we just
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  Speaker 1: kind of been through a lot and it was just
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  Speaker 1: us too, and so we just kind of had this bond,
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  Speaker 1: like it was just like me and her, you know,
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  Speaker 1: And so we had that for a while and then
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  Speaker 1: I ended up getting back together with her dad. But
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  Speaker 1: then we had Charlie and she was kind of the
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  Speaker 1: baby and kids was always like my helper. She was
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  Speaker 1: my little sidekick. Like she's always looked out for me
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  Speaker 1: all the time. And I think a lot of people
• 8:46
  Speaker 1: don't understand that relation kind of relationship, but like she's
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  Speaker 1: like very protective over me. She's really mature for her age.
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  Speaker 1: I don't know. I just have a very different relationship
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  Speaker 1: with kids and I do with Charlie. Charlie's like my baby.
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  Speaker 1: I'm like obsessed with her. I still baby talker, but
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  Speaker 1: me and kids are just like best friends. She's like
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: my little sidekick. We've been through a lot together. So yeah,
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  Speaker 1: I'm just intrigue because like for all the moms out
• 9:07
  Speaker 1: there listening, yeah, like they get this. I don't. Like
• 9:10
  Speaker 1: I said it last week. I'm always learning something new
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: about Last week I learned about brawl size. But can
• 9:18
  Speaker 1: you explain a little bit like how you believe that works,
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  Speaker 1: Like why is it that kids has looked at you
• 9:23
  Speaker 1: as a friend and like looked like tried to protect
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: you and had a maturity level level that's far beyond
• 9:29
  Speaker 1: her age. Yeah, she's six or seven. She just turned seven.
• 9:32
  Speaker 1: I mean, I think part of it just like that's
• 9:34
  Speaker 1: who she is as a person. But then I think
• 9:36
  Speaker 1: part of it also, like I said, it's because we
• 9:38
  Speaker 1: went through a lot together, like when she was younger
• 9:40
  Speaker 1: and then she was kind of my helper always with Charlie,
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: And I don't know, I think it's a lot of things,
• 9:45
  Speaker 1: but I also just think it's just kind of her personality.
• 9:48
  Speaker 1: She's just like an old soul and like a kid's body.
• 9:51
  Speaker 1: So does she grill guys that you bring home? Yeah,
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  Speaker 1: So it's funny because she's very protective in me and
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  Speaker 1: she's I know a lot of people think that they've
• 10:02
  Speaker 1: met all these guys and it's very far from the truth. Yeah. Yeah,
• 10:05
  Speaker 1: so I'll explain that. But um, with my last relationship,
• 10:10
  Speaker 1: she was so weird about it. She wouldn't even like
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: throughout her entire relationship, she wouldn't let us, like sit
• 10:14
  Speaker 1: next together on the couch, Like if she was around,
• 10:16
  Speaker 1: she'd have to be in the middle. Like she's very protective,
• 10:19
  Speaker 1: she wants me alter herself all the time. But I
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: don't know. I think it also just depends on the person,
• 10:24
  Speaker 1: because when I was with Josh after the show, she
• 10:26
  Speaker 1: wasn't like that. So I think it's just kind of
• 10:29
  Speaker 1: I don't know, it just depends. Interesting, So the public
• 10:32
  Speaker 1: Bachelor Nation does in this perception that you've brought four
• 10:37
  Speaker 1: guys home, specifically the ones that have been public relationships, Ben, Josh, Robbie,
• 10:44
  Speaker 1: and then Bobby. But the girls have met all of them, right,
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: I know that they never got close to Robbie. Yeah,
• 10:52
  Speaker 1: so so they met Ben, but it was just that
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: one day while we're filming. UM. And then obviously they
• 10:58
  Speaker 1: were close to Josh because you moved in with us
• 10:59
  Speaker 1: for a while. But you know, at that time, like
• 11:02
  Speaker 1: I actually thought like, oh, this is the person I'm
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: gonna be with, Like this is the person I'm going
• 11:05
  Speaker 1: to marry. So you know, that didn't work out. Things
• 11:08
  Speaker 1: that don't always go as planned. Um. But then Robbie,
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: Robbie never met the kids, he was never around them,
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: never came to our house when they were there. The
• 11:16
  Speaker 1: only time he ever even saw them was like briefly
• 11:19
  Speaker 1: in the car when they were strapped in the back
• 11:20
  Speaker 1: of their car seats for like two seconds. But he
• 11:23
  Speaker 1: he's never ever met them, so I always thought it
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: was weird. I think he's mentioned it a few times.
• 11:27
  Speaker 1: I was like, you never met my kids, so we
• 11:30
  Speaker 1: could we can Robbie Tangent, but I don't think that
• 11:32
  Speaker 1: would be helpful for yeah, yeah, yeah, but anyways, I
• 11:35
  Speaker 1: get a little defensive there, um, but yeah, no, he didn't.
• 11:39
  Speaker 1: And then obviously Bobby met them, but I waited a
• 11:41
  Speaker 1: while to introduce Bobby to them too. So and he
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: didn't live with us. Yeah, he didn't live with them
• 11:46
  Speaker 1: until like the last month of your relationship, the last
• 11:48
  Speaker 1: two weeks. Yeah, yeah, yeah, so we didn't live together.
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: Would there be sleepovers with them with them around? Not
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: really because they go to their dad's house. So I
• 11:57
  Speaker 1: was always pretty good about like, well, only like you
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: can only stape over when the kids are with their dad.
• 12:02
  Speaker 1: So yeah, not really. But before we dive in, because
• 12:07
  Speaker 1: I do want to make sure that on this because
• 12:10
  Speaker 1: the relationships that have been on the show are public
• 12:13
  Speaker 1: and I think there's been so much left to the imagination.
• 12:17
  Speaker 1: It really, you know, the questions of how many how
• 12:19
  Speaker 1: many times, who have these guys met the kids, and
• 12:21
  Speaker 1: how much time it's been around him, and like this
• 12:23
  Speaker 1: stuff doesn't get seen, and I want to dive into that.
• 12:26
  Speaker 1: But before I do that, I really want to focus
• 12:28
  Speaker 1: because you launched off on The Bachelor and you were
• 12:32
  Speaker 1: this quiet figure who kind of went through this whole
• 12:35
  Speaker 1: process and it wasn't for a long time until I
• 12:38
  Speaker 1: found out that even had kids. Is there anything else
• 12:40
  Speaker 1: during this time on the show that you wish you
• 12:42
  Speaker 1: would have told me or that was kind of left
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: to the imagination, or there's anything you would have done differently? Um?
• 12:48
  Speaker 1: And and not to like win my heart over right,
• 12:51
  Speaker 1: Like that's not the that shouldn't be the ultimate goal,
• 12:54
  Speaker 1: but like just to better express who you are. Yeah,
• 12:58
  Speaker 1: um no, Actually, I think Guy even said this on
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: the show, was like, I'm like super happy on my
• 13:03
  Speaker 1: own And I think the biggest misconception about me is
• 13:06
  Speaker 1: I think people think that I'm like constantly searching for
• 13:10
  Speaker 1: like a guy or like a dad for my kids
• 13:11
  Speaker 1: or something, and it's so far from the truth. I
• 13:13
  Speaker 1: actually enjoy being single. Um, I love just doing my
• 13:18
  Speaker 1: own thing with my girls. And I think I kind
• 13:20
  Speaker 1: of even said that on your season. I think I
• 13:22
  Speaker 1: said something like, if I meet someone who makes my
• 13:24
  Speaker 1: life better than that's great. But I'm not like desperately
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: looking for somebody. And I think that's like the one
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: thing that just like shocks me. People are always like,
• 13:33
  Speaker 1: oh my god, you're so focused on like finding a guy,
• 13:36
  Speaker 1: And I think obviously because I was on a show
• 13:37
  Speaker 1: where it's kind of what you're doing, people assume that
• 13:39
  Speaker 1: that's all I care about. But I think that's probably
• 13:42
  Speaker 1: the biggest misconception about me, just because actually really like
• 13:45
  Speaker 1: being single. And are you enjoying right now being single? Yeah,
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: I'm like loving it right now. So I think a
• 13:51
  Speaker 1: lot of people were like concerned about at the end
• 13:54
  Speaker 1: because people were like, oh my gosh, she's been so
• 13:56
  Speaker 1: public with Bobby and you even made did you make
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: a comment about how like you saw him being the
• 14:03
  Speaker 1: person you were going to marry before the breakup? Gosh.
• 14:06
  Speaker 1: So this was like probably two weeks or a week
• 14:09
  Speaker 1: and a half before he broke up with me. We
• 14:10
  Speaker 1: did an interview with US Weekly because my clothing line
• 14:13
  Speaker 1: was about to launch and so we did this whole
• 14:14
  Speaker 1: interview where they came to a house and they asked questions,
• 14:17
  Speaker 1: and I remember they asked me that question, and like
• 14:19
  Speaker 1: you know, sometimes when you're doing an interview, they'll ask
• 14:21
  Speaker 1: you a question that you're not fully comfortable answering, but
• 14:23
  Speaker 1: you answered anyways. And I didn't even think they would
• 14:25
  Speaker 1: use it because they asked so many and then they
• 14:26
  Speaker 1: ended up running. It was me being like, I can't
• 14:28
  Speaker 1: see him as like my future husband. But it wasn't
• 14:31
  Speaker 1: like I said that about Chris Souls. Guys. It was
• 14:35
  Speaker 1: more like, yeah, like I was put on the spot
• 14:36
  Speaker 1: and I was asked so like you know, when the
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: article looks like I was just like talking about him,
• 14:40
  Speaker 1: saying like, oh, I want to marry him, but really
• 14:42
  Speaker 1: I was like being asked that, and I was like
• 14:44
  Speaker 1: a little uncomfortable. But I mean, obviously when we moved
• 14:48
  Speaker 1: in together, I kind of told him like, this is
• 14:49
  Speaker 1: a big deal for me because I have kids and
• 14:51
  Speaker 1: I never wanted to move someone in with the kids
• 14:54
  Speaker 1: if I didn't see that lasting. So I mean I did,
• 14:57
  Speaker 1: but I don't know. I just I handled this break
• 15:00
  Speaker 1: up a lot differently than I have in the past,
• 15:02
  Speaker 1: so to give a little bit of perspective. Let's can
• 15:06
  Speaker 1: we I want to do this in a timeline, right,
• 15:09
  Speaker 1: so let's start with the Bachelor, and let's move through
• 15:12
  Speaker 1: these relationships. And because I think what we're gonna find
• 15:15
  Speaker 1: and knowing you a little bit that I do this
• 15:19
  Speaker 1: timeline is going to make more sense to the listener
• 15:20
  Speaker 1: at the end that you're going to continue have grown.
• 15:22
  Speaker 1: I believe you know the famous quote is that we're
• 15:25
  Speaker 1: products of our mistakes or failers, but we don't have
• 15:26
  Speaker 1: to be prisoners of it. And I think that's exactly
• 15:29
  Speaker 1: true for you, right, You've continued to even know, in
• 15:31
  Speaker 1: the public's eyes, we've seen a couple of relationships a
• 15:35
  Speaker 1: breakup and then you know, we're like, oh no, it's
• 15:38
  Speaker 1: happened again. And then then we maybe see the next relationship,
• 15:42
  Speaker 1: because that's what you're gonna promote, but we don't see
• 15:46
  Speaker 1: the in between and the lessons learned and and the
• 15:48
  Speaker 1: things that you've built upon them. So, you know, the
• 15:51
  Speaker 1: Bachelor left and as we just said, like what would
• 15:54
  Speaker 1: you have taken away? What did you learn from that?
• 15:56
  Speaker 1: And and you just mentioned you know, it built the
• 15:59
  Speaker 1: strength and like your character, and you start to speak
• 16:01
  Speaker 1: out about your family and you got maybe a little
• 16:03
  Speaker 1: more confidence, and then you went to Paradise and and
• 16:06
  Speaker 1: Ashley is obviously I always love to hear Actuley's perspective
• 16:10
  Speaker 1: on Paradise because she's been there and she found her
• 16:12
  Speaker 1: love there and Ben hasn't experienced it. Yeah, and so
• 16:16
  Speaker 1: it's it's fascinating. It's fascinating to me because I haven't
• 16:19
  Speaker 1: been there, and I don't know what that looks like.
• 16:21
  Speaker 1: But you met Josh, yes, and that was I think
• 16:26
  Speaker 1: I was with Lauren at the time. I was still
• 16:28
  Speaker 1: with Lauren when you met Josh. And remember the phone
• 16:30
  Speaker 1: call that she got from you saying, Hey, I'm with
• 16:33
  Speaker 1: somebody And we said who when you said Josh, and
• 16:37
  Speaker 1: I said, oh, but outside of the public, what drew
• 16:43
  Speaker 1: you to him? I mean, okay, he has some good quality. Also,
• 16:48
  Speaker 1: he is, like I wanted to let Manda say this,
• 16:51
  Speaker 1: but like from a girl's perspective when you first get
• 16:54
  Speaker 1: to know Josh, like in your first encounters, he's extremely
• 16:58
  Speaker 1: charming and he's like a magnet. Yes, he's a magnet
• 17:01
  Speaker 1: for a woman. Yeah, he's a gaston as I always
• 17:03
  Speaker 1: call him. So he's he's very charming. Um, he's like
• 17:08
  Speaker 1: he just like you said, Like when I came off
• 17:11
  Speaker 1: of The Bachelor, I was like finally being able to
• 17:13
  Speaker 1: put myself out there more. I was like becoming a
• 17:15
  Speaker 1: little more confident. And I still hadn't had a relationship
• 17:19
  Speaker 1: in a long time because you know, I guess you know,
• 17:22
  Speaker 1: Ben doesn't really count. Um. So I think it was
• 17:26
  Speaker 1: also like you said, he's just so charming. Um. But
• 17:29
  Speaker 1: also just he was like so into me from like
• 17:31
  Speaker 1: day one, and I think that just felt so good
• 17:33
  Speaker 1: to have somebody just be like so infatuated with me.
• 17:37
  Speaker 1: And he was cute, he told me all the right things. Um,
• 17:42
  Speaker 1: he really, I mean he has a lot of good qualities,
• 17:44
  Speaker 1: you know. So there were things that attract me to him.
• 17:48
  Speaker 1: And I'm gonna grill a little bit and you pull back.
• 17:50
  Speaker 1: You feel like, okay, this is was there enough for you?
• 17:54
  Speaker 1: Why say yes to a proposal? I mean, looking back now,
• 18:00
  Speaker 1: I think it's ridiculous in general to get engaged after
• 18:02
  Speaker 1: three weeks of knowing somebody. Um. And I think in
• 18:05
  Speaker 1: the beginning of a relationship, everyone's nice and especially and
• 18:08
  Speaker 1: we're in a we're in an environment where it's not
• 18:11
  Speaker 1: really real life. We're not working. There's really no stress.
• 18:14
  Speaker 1: We're just sitting on a beach all day. I didn't
• 18:15
  Speaker 1: meet his friends, I didn't meet his family. Um, but
• 18:19
  Speaker 1: I just think, you know, it was like that infatuation.
• 18:21
  Speaker 1: I think that was the reason why I was like, Yes,
• 18:23
  Speaker 1: Like everything that he was saying, I was like, oh, well,
• 18:26
  Speaker 1: that's exactly what I want. Like he wanted kids, he
• 18:28
  Speaker 1: loved kids. You couldn't wait to meet my kids. Like
• 18:31
  Speaker 1: everything that he said was just so exactly what I
• 18:34
  Speaker 1: was looking for. That I was like, oh my god,
• 18:36
  Speaker 1: this is perfect in paradise. You can talk like that too,
• 18:39
  Speaker 1: and you never show how you actually are. So what
• 18:42
  Speaker 1: was she I don't don't understand. Um, Like you can
• 18:46
  Speaker 1: just like talk about what you like and how you
• 18:48
  Speaker 1: deal with regular life and your morals and your values,
• 18:50
  Speaker 1: but you're not You're not actually like in like an
• 18:53
  Speaker 1: environment in which like they shine or are exposed. Yes, yeah, exactly,
• 18:59
  Speaker 1: So I don't know. I mean you can you can
• 19:02
  Speaker 1: attest to it, like he kind of like he could
• 19:05
  Speaker 1: be cool. Oh yeah, I was. I'm gonna be I
• 19:07
  Speaker 1: was totally pro the two of them. I like the
• 19:09
  Speaker 1: way they were together. They were like so in love
• 19:11
  Speaker 1: and infatuated and like the lust was heavy and I
• 19:15
  Speaker 1: couldn't even there was not announce of me that really
• 19:18
  Speaker 1: wanted to be like Amanda, you shouldn't umandation. There's a
• 19:21
  Speaker 1: reason that they never showed me talking to you, um
• 19:26
  Speaker 1: about my worries about him or and I t m
• 19:29
  Speaker 1: is worried about you with him because I just thought
• 19:32
  Speaker 1: I liked you guys together a lot, and he had
• 19:34
  Speaker 1: only shown me kindness. Yeah, that makes sense. I mean, yeah,
• 19:39
  Speaker 1: and I haven't been there. It makes sense when you
• 19:41
  Speaker 1: watch Paradise. It's worked for a few but yeah, you're
• 19:45
  Speaker 1: showing your best side, so every once in a while
• 19:46
  Speaker 1: getting really lucky and you're actually I think when somebody
• 19:50
  Speaker 1: is generally authentic from the beginning and you assume that
• 19:54
  Speaker 1: about the person, then it could work afterwards. But when
• 19:56
  Speaker 1: that changes, things go bad. It It's interesting though, because
• 20:02
  Speaker 1: now you're really close with Andy Dorfman. Is that have
• 20:05
  Speaker 1: you bonded over Josh or is that? Is that odd? Okay?
• 20:10
  Speaker 1: So it's funny because the first time we hung out
• 20:12
  Speaker 1: was it was a while ago out in New York,
• 20:16
  Speaker 1: probably like almost two years ago, and the first time
• 20:18
  Speaker 1: we hung out we talked about him a little bit.
• 20:20
  Speaker 1: But it's funny because now we hang out and everybody
• 20:23
  Speaker 1: will like, we posted a photo together at stage coach
• 20:25
  Speaker 1: and people will be like, oh my god, I bet you,
• 20:26
  Speaker 1: like they talk about Josh and we actually don't anymore.
• 20:29
  Speaker 1: It's like maybe the first time that we hung out,
• 20:31
  Speaker 1: we did, but now like we we don't talk about
• 20:34
  Speaker 1: him at all anymore. Yeah, exactly, so like we don't
• 20:38
  Speaker 1: really talk about him at all, but yeah, at first
• 20:40
  Speaker 1: we did, you know. I want to I want to
• 20:42
  Speaker 1: pause here for a second because I don't want this
• 20:45
  Speaker 1: to feel like we're going to continue to pull back
• 20:46
  Speaker 1: your pass through the whole podcast. I don't want us
• 20:48
  Speaker 1: to be a bachelor. This isn't what the in depth is.
• 20:52
  Speaker 1: It's not pulling back bachelor stories for the whole thing.
• 20:54
  Speaker 1: But we need to get through this to get to
• 20:56
  Speaker 1: the end, which is where we're going to talk about
• 20:57
  Speaker 1: you and where you're at today and the lesson has learned.
• 21:01
  Speaker 1: But I think these stories will will help our listeners
• 21:05
  Speaker 1: understand you more and so they're listening. Um, Amanda is
• 21:08
  Speaker 1: a lot more than this, and we have a lot
• 21:10
  Speaker 1: to talk about at the end when it comes to
• 21:12
  Speaker 1: some of the cool stuff that she's doing. Um. But
• 21:15
  Speaker 1: for now, let's let's continue to dive into the let's
• 21:20
  Speaker 1: in paradise. Um. So, so your relationship with Josh ended.
• 21:25
  Speaker 1: Is there anything else that you feel like hasn't been
• 21:28
  Speaker 1: communicated when your relationship with Josh that you want the
• 21:31
  Speaker 1: public to know now? Um, I mean, that was the
• 21:35
  Speaker 1: hardest breakup I've ever been through, like even to this day,
• 21:37
  Speaker 1: because like I mean, I think you guys probably get
• 21:39
  Speaker 1: it to like you've had that one relationship where like
• 21:42
  Speaker 1: you were like so in love and like that spark
• 21:45
  Speaker 1: was there, and I feel like that's the hardest thing
• 21:47
  Speaker 1: to get over sometimes because I really thought for a
• 21:50
  Speaker 1: while that like, oh my god, like this is too
• 21:52
  Speaker 1: good to be true, like he's perfect. Um. And So
• 21:56
  Speaker 1: it was really hard for me because just as we
• 21:59
  Speaker 1: as he of Din and just you know, as time
• 22:01
  Speaker 1: went on, I could just tell that things weren't going
• 22:03
  Speaker 1: to end up working. But it was still really hard
• 22:05
  Speaker 1: for me to break up with him because I cared
• 22:07
  Speaker 1: about him. Um. So, after we broke up, we actually
• 22:10
  Speaker 1: went back and forth for a little while, like we're
• 22:13
  Speaker 1: still talking, and I mean things never really changed. I
• 22:17
  Speaker 1: feel like it just got kind of got worse. After
• 22:19
  Speaker 1: that because it was like a gray area. UM. But yeah,
• 22:22
  Speaker 1: it's still to this day, like the hardest breakup I've
• 22:24
  Speaker 1: ever gone through. So going off off that, UM, I
• 22:27
  Speaker 1: think that when it comes to breakups, when there is
• 22:30
  Speaker 1: like that initial like crazy feeling, the frenzy, I think
• 22:35
  Speaker 1: it's usually the daydreams dying, the daydreams that you had
• 22:39
  Speaker 1: about your life with that person dying, that is the
• 22:41
  Speaker 1: hardest thing to move on from. And then them it's
• 22:45
  Speaker 1: like the daydreams that you had about your future. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
• 22:49
  Speaker 1: like all the plans that you had. And and it's
• 22:51
  Speaker 1: funny too, like I think I I recently was broken
• 22:55
  Speaker 1: up with, but in the past, I've always been the
• 22:59
  Speaker 1: one to break up with somebody else. And I just
• 23:00
  Speaker 1: think it's so much harder because I started doubting myself, like, well,
• 23:05
  Speaker 1: should I have tried harder? Did I really need to
• 23:07
  Speaker 1: do that? Um? And I think that was kind of
• 23:09
  Speaker 1: the hardest part, was just like wondering if I made
• 23:12
  Speaker 1: the right decision or not. Um. But yeah, I know
• 23:17
  Speaker 1: I've been talking a lot about Jared and my upcoming wedding,
• 23:20
  Speaker 1: But the thing that you may not know that is
• 23:24
  Speaker 1: my ultimate way of relaxing. When I'm feeling overwhelmed with
• 23:28
  Speaker 1: work and wedding planning, which is basically a second job,
• 23:31
  Speaker 1: I take a long, hot bath or shower, and then
• 23:34
  Speaker 1: when I get out, I put my feet on the
• 23:37
  Speaker 1: coziest bath mat ever that I got from our Crate
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: and Barrel Registry, and I wrapped myself in a Turkish robe.
• 23:45
  Speaker 1: They are the fluffiest thing. And then I plopped on
• 23:48
  Speaker 1: the couch, and I've got my lotions that I got
• 23:52
  Speaker 1: from Crate and Barrel in all these nice little containers.
• 23:57
  Speaker 1: It makes it look like a little bed and breakfast
• 23:59
  Speaker 1: in our place. And you probably wouldn't even think to
• 24:02
  Speaker 1: go to Crate and Barrel for candles and lotions and
• 24:05
  Speaker 1: all that, but they have all your bathroom needs. They
• 24:09
  Speaker 1: basically can turn your everyday bathroom into just the cutest
• 24:14
  Speaker 1: little luxurious spot in your home. We signed up for
• 24:18
  Speaker 1: a bunch of these bathroom supplies through our Crate and
• 24:22
  Speaker 1: Barrel Registry. They're timeless pieces. They're well made. You're never
• 24:27
  Speaker 1: gonna like look at them in a couple of years
• 24:29
  Speaker 1: and be like, oh, you know what, that's out of style,
• 24:31
  Speaker 1: or that doesn't look so good anymore. It's always gonna
• 24:33
  Speaker 1: look crisp, clean and high quality. So if you're engaged
• 24:39
  Speaker 1: out there are looking to start a registry, I highly
• 24:41
  Speaker 1: suggest going and starting one with Crate and Barrel. Just
• 24:45
  Speaker 1: go to Crate and Barrel dot com slash Wedding Dash registry. Again,
• 24:50
  Speaker 1: you're engaged out there, be like Jared and me and
• 24:54
  Speaker 1: sign up for a Crate and Barrel registry. It's got
• 24:56
  Speaker 1: everything you're gonna need for your home together as a couple.
• 24:59
  Speaker 1: You're adult home, your own little paradise. Um, it's Crate
• 25:04
  Speaker 1: and Barrel dot com slash Wedding Dash Registry. You're you
• 25:12
  Speaker 1: poured yourself into this relation, Josh, and there was a
• 25:15
  Speaker 1: lot of um I think write ups on just what
• 25:19
  Speaker 1: happened at the end and the kind of the ugliness
• 25:21
  Speaker 1: of it, and we don't dig into that as much
• 25:24
  Speaker 1: of how did you know and how did you communicate?
• 25:26
  Speaker 1: It was over? I think we've gotten a lot of
• 25:28
  Speaker 1: emails in the past about breakups and about that back
• 25:32
  Speaker 1: and forth. Can be friends with xs and how does
• 25:35
  Speaker 1: that operate? But with Josh, it did linger and you've
• 25:38
  Speaker 1: been open up to share that. How did you know
• 25:40
  Speaker 1: when it was done? Um? So, to be completely honest,
• 25:46
  Speaker 1: So we broke up back in I can't remember when
• 25:49
  Speaker 1: it was, and we were just going back and forth
• 25:51
  Speaker 1: just but it was like private, and I think like
• 25:54
  Speaker 1: we didn't weren't very public about it. I think we
• 25:56
  Speaker 1: got caught one time like out at dinner or something,
• 25:58
  Speaker 1: but like I hadn't even told my family that I
• 25:59
  Speaker 1: was hanging out him. Um. But I think it just
• 26:02
  Speaker 1: wasn't going anywhere, like after months and months, and we
• 26:04
  Speaker 1: were like we were fighting more when we were trying
• 26:07
  Speaker 1: to work on things then we were when we were together,
• 26:10
  Speaker 1: just because it was in that like gray area where
• 26:11
  Speaker 1: there's like you don't really know the boundaries, um. And
• 26:15
  Speaker 1: I just think it got to a point where we
• 26:16
  Speaker 1: were both just kind of like exhausted. So, yeah, did
• 26:20
  Speaker 1: your break up with Josh spur on the idea of
• 26:23
  Speaker 1: writing a book? Is Josh like the main reason that
• 26:27
  Speaker 1: you wrote this book? And is he the result of
• 26:29
  Speaker 1: now to Bachelorrette books? I was I was telling my
• 26:33
  Speaker 1: mom actually was talking about it was like he's like
• 26:35
  Speaker 1: the reverse Taylor Swift books about him because it was
• 26:41
  Speaker 1: not fun, not because it was whimsical. Um yeah, but honestly,
• 26:47
  Speaker 1: like I had always wanted to write a book and
• 26:49
  Speaker 1: a lot of the reason I wanted to write a
• 26:51
  Speaker 1: book was more about like being a single mom and
• 26:54
  Speaker 1: all that kind of stuff, But he definitely that relationship
• 26:58
  Speaker 1: motivated me a little bit more. And what's the called.
• 27:00
  Speaker 1: It's called now Accepting Roses and it cost September. Yeah,
• 27:04
  Speaker 1: so it's weird because I've been writing it for so long,
• 27:06
  Speaker 1: like it was a really long process. But I'm really
• 27:08
  Speaker 1: excited for it to come out, and I was able
• 27:10
  Speaker 1: to be a part of the process and later on
• 27:13
  Speaker 1: I can't I can't wait to talk to you about it,
• 27:15
  Speaker 1: um and read it. You know you've obviously I think
• 27:20
  Speaker 1: you're writing a book. Makes sense because then following Josh,
• 27:24
  Speaker 1: you started dating Robbie Hayes dating dating. Yeah. When you
• 27:29
  Speaker 1: say kind of, what do you mean by kind of?
• 27:31
  Speaker 1: I mean, Okay, anyone who watched Bachelor in Paradise could
• 27:34
  Speaker 1: tell that I wasn't like that into Josh status. Yeah,
• 27:38
  Speaker 1: and I think he just became my friend throughout it,
• 27:42
  Speaker 1: like everybody was coupled up, everyone had their people, and
• 27:44
  Speaker 1: like he was like my person, Like he was the
• 27:47
  Speaker 1: person I hung out with the most. And it wasn't
• 27:49
  Speaker 1: really that I really liked him. It was more just
• 27:53
  Speaker 1: like he was my friend, Like he was my best
• 27:54
  Speaker 1: friend there. So after I broke up with them on
• 27:56
  Speaker 1: the show, when I got home, like he was the
• 27:58
  Speaker 1: one that I wanted to call and talk to you
• 27:59
  Speaker 1: about every thing, and he hated me. So I was like, well,
• 28:02
  Speaker 1: it's me definitely's hang out And we ended up hanging
• 28:03
  Speaker 1: out a few times after the show. Hated you, he
• 28:06
  Speaker 1: did hated me, no, no, after after I broke up
• 28:10
  Speaker 1: with him on the show, And then I felt terrible
• 28:12
  Speaker 1: because I was like, you broke up with him on
• 28:13
  Speaker 1: the show, but you still intended to hang out when
• 28:15
  Speaker 1: you got back to l A. You just couldn't like
• 28:17
  Speaker 1: continue the show as like a committed couple. Yeah, but
• 28:19
  Speaker 1: I think he was under the impression we were going
• 28:21
  Speaker 1: to leave the show together as a couple. So I
• 28:22
  Speaker 1: think he was kind of surprised, and he hated me
• 28:25
  Speaker 1: after after that for like for like a couple of days,
• 28:27
  Speaker 1: not like a long period of time. You know, he
• 28:29
  Speaker 1: was just like upset. So there's this phenomenon with Bachelor
• 28:32
  Speaker 1: in Paradise where it is strongly encouraged for you to
• 28:36
  Speaker 1: get engaged or you know, leave alone, because this show
• 28:41
  Speaker 1: is about the show. The Bachelor of the Bachelorette, and
• 28:43
  Speaker 1: Paradise is more about finding like lifelong relationships, not just
• 28:47
  Speaker 1: somebody that you're going to like date for a while
• 28:49
  Speaker 1: and like maybe you'll see for a couple of months
• 28:51
  Speaker 1: or you're going to continue to like test out the waters.
• 28:54
  Speaker 1: So that's what you had with Robbie. It's what I
• 28:57
  Speaker 1: had once. And I think it's kind of confusing to
• 28:59
  Speaker 1: the audience because they're like, oh, why are they still talking.
• 29:01
  Speaker 1: It's like, well, because we probably figured that we weren't
• 29:04
  Speaker 1: going to get married, but we still wanted to see
• 29:06
  Speaker 1: each other a little bit. Yeah, just to bring up
• 29:11
  Speaker 1: a couple that makes like there's breakups last year on
• 29:14
  Speaker 1: the show that then they do they become friends and
• 29:16
  Speaker 1: they get back together, which happened to you and Robbie, Right, Yeah,
• 29:21
  Speaker 1: I mean you guys continue to talk. Where did like
• 29:26
  Speaker 1: where did that lead? Like walk us through how how
• 29:28
  Speaker 1: that relationship ended up moving forward and where did it?
• 29:32
  Speaker 1: Where did that end? So, I mean before before I
• 29:35
  Speaker 1: was going on Paradise, I already had this like idea
• 29:38
  Speaker 1: of Robbie where I was just never thought in a
• 29:41
  Speaker 1: million years that I would ever go for him. But
• 29:43
  Speaker 1: then throughout the show. I mean, he was really sweet
• 29:45
  Speaker 1: to me on the show, and like I said, we
• 29:46
  Speaker 1: became friends, like he was my best friend while filming
• 29:50
  Speaker 1: that season. Um, but I just knew it wasn't going
• 29:54
  Speaker 1: anywhere like I you saw me in Paradise season one,
• 29:57
  Speaker 1: Like it just wasn't it wasn't the same. I just
• 29:59
  Speaker 1: didn't really have like strong feelings for him. So that's
• 30:02
  Speaker 1: why we ended it. But then when we got home,
• 30:03
  Speaker 1: it was like I still wanted to talk, I still
• 30:04
  Speaker 1: wanted to hang out, and so we did a little bit. Um.
• 30:07
  Speaker 1: But after that, it was kind of like a different Robbie,
• 30:09
  Speaker 1: Like the Robbie that I heard about, or the Robbie
• 30:12
  Speaker 1: that I like, I thought that I would never go for.
• 30:15
  Speaker 1: It is kind of who he was when we got home. Um,
• 30:18
  Speaker 1: And it just it was like, you know, like I said,
• 30:20
  Speaker 1: I was the one that was saying like a you
• 30:22
  Speaker 1: could tell if you watch this story. I wasn't really
• 30:23
  Speaker 1: that into him. But at the end of the day,
• 30:25
  Speaker 1: it was kind of like a respect thing, like we
• 30:28
  Speaker 1: don't have to date, but like at least be respectful. Um.
• 30:32
  Speaker 1: And I'm sure you guys know about everything that happened
• 30:34
  Speaker 1: after that, the whole concert that you memories back to me.
• 30:40
  Speaker 1: I can't remember specifically the concert concert yeah, yeah, so
• 30:47
  Speaker 1: it was just like a respect thing, you know. Yeah,
• 30:49
  Speaker 1: and so then like those things came out and also emails. Yeah,
• 30:53
  Speaker 1: I mean he just really yeah. Um, I don't know
• 30:57
  Speaker 1: why he was so angry at me. Um, but yeah,
• 31:03
  Speaker 1: I was actually not going to bring up the whole
• 31:04
  Speaker 1: concert thing at the what show is it After Paradise
• 31:07
  Speaker 1: or some kind of talk show like that, and the
• 31:09
  Speaker 1: Twins brought it up, which I mean, I think it
• 31:12
  Speaker 1: was fine. Um, but I know he was really upset
• 31:14
  Speaker 1: about that being brought up. But I don't know. I
• 31:16
  Speaker 1: always say, like, I feel like this happened not just
• 31:19
  Speaker 1: in my situation, but other situations where something gets brought
• 31:22
  Speaker 1: up on the show and guys get so upset, but
• 31:25
  Speaker 1: they're the ones that did it, you know what I mean.
• 31:28
  Speaker 1: So it's like, I'm sorry that it got brought up.
• 31:30
  Speaker 1: Do you feel like Robbie had stronger feelings for you
• 31:32
  Speaker 1: than you had for him, or do you think this
• 31:35
  Speaker 1: was all a response for maybe not ending up a
• 31:38
  Speaker 1: bachelor couple. I think I think he definitely. I mean,
• 31:43
  Speaker 1: this is my this is just how I feel. I
• 31:45
  Speaker 1: don't know how he felt, but I think he probably
• 31:47
  Speaker 1: had ulterior motives. I think he cared about being a
• 31:50
  Speaker 1: bachelor couple. I think he really wanted that. I think
• 31:52
  Speaker 1: he really cared about like the Instagram, fame and all
• 31:55
  Speaker 1: that kind of stuff. So how quickly it's fleeting. Yes,
• 32:00
  Speaker 1: when his last thing you heard about him, Um, I
• 32:04
  Speaker 1: don't know what he's doing. But you're right. I mean
• 32:08
  Speaker 1: but and I mean that, But I also want to
• 32:11
  Speaker 1: say that it's a good point for anybody out there,
• 32:13
  Speaker 1: is like, fame is fleeting. It is not something worthy
• 32:16
  Speaker 1: to chase after. Relevancy is not a pursuit worth having.
• 32:20
  Speaker 1: And so as a result, like if your pursuit is that,
• 32:23
  Speaker 1: you're going to spend years of your life chasing emptiness,
• 32:27
  Speaker 1: and where do you have the turn? You narrowly missed
• 32:31
  Speaker 1: him this year of state coach. I heard that. So yeah,
• 32:35
  Speaker 1: I mean, I don't hate like now I could care less,
• 32:38
  Speaker 1: you know what I mean. Like, that's surprising to me.
• 32:40
  Speaker 1: He said some really mean things publicly. I know, I
• 32:43
  Speaker 1: think I'm just too forgiving of a person just in general,
• 32:47
  Speaker 1: or are Yeah, I know what, I'm traid of conflict.
• 32:50
  Speaker 1: You just want to avoid conflict. I think I just
• 32:52
  Speaker 1: want to. I think it's a mix above. I like,
• 32:55
  Speaker 1: you know, they say like forgive but don't forget. I
• 32:57
  Speaker 1: feel like I forgive and forget too much. But yeah,
• 33:00
  Speaker 1: I mean no, I mean I would never be friends
• 33:02
  Speaker 1: with Robbie again, but I don't hate him. Like, if
• 33:05
  Speaker 1: I saw him, I would say hi. I wouldn't try
• 33:07
  Speaker 1: to linger around by any means, but you would say hi.
• 33:10
  Speaker 1: I would probably say, hey, how was it to see
• 33:13
  Speaker 1: him walk on the Paradise sand a year later? At
• 33:18
  Speaker 1: the end, I didn't even know that he went on.
• 33:21
  Speaker 1: That's how much I don't keep track he went on.
• 33:24
  Speaker 1: You would know did he go on? Oh I remember? Now?
• 33:28
  Speaker 1: Okay myself he did? Oh my gosh, yeah, yeah, I
• 33:35
  Speaker 1: did not face me, so I don't totally forgot he
• 33:37
  Speaker 1: even did that. That's right, that's surprising. Um, we're getting close.
• 33:43
  Speaker 1: We have one more to talk about, right, Um, Let's
• 33:46
  Speaker 1: pause for a second to fill up our glasses of
• 33:49
  Speaker 1: wine and we'll get back in a second. Alright, we
• 33:54
  Speaker 1: filled up with wine glasses. I'm gonna start the second
• 33:57
  Speaker 1: part of the podcast with the store about me because
• 34:01
  Speaker 1: I like stories about me, but it also has to
• 34:04
  Speaker 1: do with Amanda So, Amanda, I have a story that
• 34:09
  Speaker 1: I think you'll be really surprised about. And it's one
• 34:12
  Speaker 1: that if I would have told you two years ago,
• 34:14
  Speaker 1: I wouldn't have been able to do it. Maybe a
• 34:15
  Speaker 1: year and a half a guy, I still would have
• 34:16
  Speaker 1: been able to do it. Today I can. So, you know,
• 34:19
  Speaker 1: Lauren and I broke up? Did you know that I
• 34:21
  Speaker 1: didn't know? Okay, well wait, now let's come up. Okay,
• 34:25
  Speaker 1: you tell a story, then I'll ask the question. So, um,
• 34:29
  Speaker 1: we broke up and I was in Chicago at the time.
• 34:33
  Speaker 1: With the breakup, I was on the road, and no
• 34:36
  Speaker 1: matter what, things weren't good. But I was on the
• 34:37
  Speaker 1: road working. We weren't like split and she called and
• 34:41
  Speaker 1: things happened, and so I went from Chicago to New
• 34:43
  Speaker 1: York City and I flew to New York City for
• 34:46
  Speaker 1: another business trip. So this was on a I went
• 34:48
  Speaker 1: to Hyra on Monday, New York on a Wednesday. I
• 34:51
  Speaker 1: was there Wednesday through Friday, and I landed with my boss,
• 34:54
  Speaker 1: who is one of my best friends, and he at
• 34:59
  Speaker 1: the time. I just when I land I told him, hey,
• 35:00
  Speaker 1: Lauren and I have split. And I was a mess.
• 35:03
  Speaker 1: I was, and and understandably so I think, like I
• 35:06
  Speaker 1: was just a mess, and he's like, all right, well
• 35:09
  Speaker 1: this is we're gonna do. We're gonna go do our
• 35:10
  Speaker 1: meeting and then I'm gonna take you out to the
• 35:12
  Speaker 1: best dinner. This is the story. No, I'm gonna take
• 35:18
  Speaker 1: you out to the best dinner and then um, we're
• 35:23
  Speaker 1: just gonna drink a bottle of wine and we're gonna
• 35:24
  Speaker 1: talk and you can do whatever you want. It was
• 35:26
  Speaker 1: like perfect, sounds great. He's like, but I we'annna do that.
• 35:28
  Speaker 1: We go to get close. It's like, let's go to
• 35:30
  Speaker 1: Zara and Laura and I just did an event in
• 35:32
  Speaker 1: Zara not long before that, and this is that. This
• 35:36
  Speaker 1: is God's on the street what happened. And he's like,
• 35:39
  Speaker 1: let's go to Zarah because it's on fifth FIfF or whatever,
• 35:41
  Speaker 1: and we're right here and our hotel was right there,
• 35:44
  Speaker 1: and so we did. And I walked in and I
• 35:47
  Speaker 1: don't know if you guys ever feel this way, or
• 35:48
  Speaker 1: anybody out there ever feels this way, but I started
• 35:50
  Speaker 1: to get sweaty and like anxious, and I started to
• 35:54
  Speaker 1: feel like and and the last thing you want to
• 35:56
  Speaker 1: do after a breakup is cr X. Right like at
• 35:59
  Speaker 1: the last thing you want to do. And I was like,
• 36:01
  Speaker 1: I feel like Laurence here and he's like, well, maybe
• 36:04
  Speaker 1: because you just did an event here and he knew that,
• 36:06
  Speaker 1: and I was like, yeah, it's probably it, but like
• 36:08
  Speaker 1: I have memories with her, like recently right here, like
• 36:11
  Speaker 1: I feel like she's here. And he's like, this is
• 36:15
  Speaker 1: this is weird. You're being crazy, like you really are
• 36:18
  Speaker 1: messed up, Like you gotta get calmed down. So I
• 36:21
  Speaker 1: was like, you're right. We bought our clothes and I'll
• 36:22
  Speaker 1: try to tell the story, so I don't want to
• 36:24
  Speaker 1: undervalue this story. It's a weird story. So we bought
• 36:28
  Speaker 1: the clothes that we wanted for the night. I went
• 36:30
  Speaker 1: back to the hotel, showered up, changed, and my buddies
• 36:33
  Speaker 1: that live in New York, my college roommates, called, They're like, hey,
• 36:36
  Speaker 1: what are you up to? And I told him we're
• 36:37
  Speaker 1: going to dinner with my buddy, but I have an
• 36:38
  Speaker 1: hour and a half. Um, I mean, jet a bar
• 36:41
  Speaker 1: and let's have some drinks. And I asked in fighted
• 36:45
  Speaker 1: my buddy with me, and they were at a bar
• 36:48
  Speaker 1: just like six fts over, and so we walked and
• 36:52
  Speaker 1: I started feeling that way again and I was like, man,
• 36:55
  Speaker 1: I'm jacked up, like I can't do this, Like I'm
• 36:57
  Speaker 1: more messed up than I even thought it was. I'm
• 36:58
  Speaker 1: like feeling that WARN's watching me, like I'm feeling that
• 37:01
  Speaker 1: she's close. I'm sweating like he he literally looked at
• 37:04
  Speaker 1: me like you're going crazy, like you're having panic attacks,
• 37:06
  Speaker 1: and like there's no good reason why. And I was like,
• 37:08
  Speaker 1: I know. And so we get to the street corner
• 37:11
  Speaker 1: where the bar is and we see the sign. I remember,
• 37:15
  Speaker 1: he and I both looked up and we saw the sign,
• 37:17
  Speaker 1: and he goes stop. We looked down, and you and
• 37:20
  Speaker 1: Lauren are standing on the street corner across from us
• 37:22
  Speaker 1: in New York City, not more than ten ft from us,
• 37:26
  Speaker 1: and I ran. I remember this story once he started
• 37:29
  Speaker 1: telling in what I ran, and I ran, I ran.
• 37:34
  Speaker 1: We didn't see you, obviously, I don't think you did.
• 37:35
  Speaker 1: I want to ask you if you did. I was
• 37:38
  Speaker 1: literally I was literally from you, like ten ft away
• 37:41
  Speaker 1: from you, guys, standing there looking at you and I'm
• 37:43
  Speaker 1: not kidding you. After on three different occasions that in
• 37:47
  Speaker 1: those hours, feeling like I and it could still be
• 37:51
  Speaker 1: just weird because of the fact that like it was
• 37:53
  Speaker 1: fresh and it was new and I just didn't The
• 37:55
  Speaker 1: last thing I want to do is run into her,
• 37:58
  Speaker 1: you know. But literally that came true, and you guys
• 38:01
  Speaker 1: are standing across the street from us. I don't know
• 38:02
  Speaker 1: if you remember that trips it had to be. It
• 38:05
  Speaker 1: was the week we broke up. Yeah, yeah, I remember. Yeah. Wait,
• 38:08
  Speaker 1: so yeah, we definitely didn't see it was a second
• 38:10
  Speaker 1: night or during the day. It was during the day.
• 38:12
  Speaker 1: Oh my god, so crazy. You met up with me
• 38:16
  Speaker 1: and Jared afterwards? Yeah, yeah, did you know we were
• 38:19
  Speaker 1: in New York? Had no clue. Oh my gosh. I
• 38:22
  Speaker 1: thought I thought she was in Denver because when she called,
• 38:24
  Speaker 1: she was in Denver at the house and she was
• 38:27
  Speaker 1: going to start packing up her stuff. And then later
• 38:30
  Speaker 1: that day she was in New York. And then no,
• 38:33
  Speaker 1: two days later she was in New York because I
• 38:36
  Speaker 1: was in Chicago and I flew to New York and
• 38:37
  Speaker 1: she she was there. And so I literally saw you
• 38:40
  Speaker 1: too standing across the street, which was my worst nightmare
• 38:43
  Speaker 1: and still to this day, well still to this day,
• 38:45
  Speaker 1: it shocks me. And it's just a weird thing to
• 38:47
  Speaker 1: think about. That's crazy. Yeah, Okay, Well that leads into
• 38:50
  Speaker 1: this question. So you guys are like super cool and
• 38:54
  Speaker 1: like he always talks you up on the podcast. He's
• 38:57
  Speaker 1: always like a man of really cool chick, really cool chick.
• 38:59
  Speaker 1: Right you are his ex is best friend from the show.
• 39:03
  Speaker 1: Ye you know, we all have our real life best friends,
• 39:04
  Speaker 1: but you guys are the closest from the show. So, like,
• 39:08
  Speaker 1: was there ever like some weird hurl where you guys
• 39:10
  Speaker 1: were like, Okay, well, because this weird community we live in,
• 39:13
  Speaker 1: we're going to have to be cordial and cool or
• 39:15
  Speaker 1: what you just you you were never affected like by
• 39:18
  Speaker 1: the he said she said thing? Wait with with Ben? Okay,
• 39:23
  Speaker 1: I get it. I get what you're saying. Um No,
• 39:25
  Speaker 1: I mean like I've always thought been was like the
• 39:28
  Speaker 1: sweetest guy. Like I literally tell everybody that whenever people
• 39:31
  Speaker 1: will always ask me, like it's been really as nice
• 39:33
  Speaker 1: as see us on the show. I'm like, now, you
• 39:34
  Speaker 1: guys like he really is the nicest guy. Um And,
• 39:37
  Speaker 1: I mean I think even Laura knew, like Ben is
• 39:39
  Speaker 1: such a nice guy. Like just because it didn't work
• 39:41
  Speaker 1: out between him doesn't mean that he's not a good person.
• 39:45
  Speaker 1: Um So I think I mean, I honestly, I feel
• 39:48
  Speaker 1: like it was a pretty cordial break up. I mean,
• 39:50
  Speaker 1: I'm sure it sucks for both of you, but it
• 39:52
  Speaker 1: never really put me in a spot where he had
• 39:53
  Speaker 1: to like hate Ben or chose sides like it was pretty.
• 39:58
  Speaker 1: It was a pretty like mature break up, right for
• 40:00
  Speaker 1: the most part. I think so, Yeah, I mean I think, yeah,
• 40:03
  Speaker 1: I think it's mature as you can make it. Right. Yeah,
• 40:05
  Speaker 1: I mean, it always sucks, it's always hard, But I
• 40:07
  Speaker 1: would say, and I think we've I don't know if
• 40:10
  Speaker 1: we've ever talked about on the podcast or not. And
• 40:12
  Speaker 1: if so, everybody out there listening, I apologize, you're gonna
• 40:14
  Speaker 1: hear it again. Um. There is an element, and I
• 40:17
  Speaker 1: don't know if it exists in the Bachelor world because
• 40:19
  Speaker 1: there hasn't been a lot of breakups outside of like
• 40:23
  Speaker 1: Caitlin and Sean um with couples that have made it
• 40:27
  Speaker 1: from the show. I did feel not from you, from others,
• 40:33
  Speaker 1: isolated and like like the army was out against me,
• 40:36
  Speaker 1: and I couldn't understand why. Right. I remember when she
• 40:39
  Speaker 1: started dating Devon and there was comments that were like,
• 40:42
  Speaker 1: I've never seen you happier. I am so excited for you.
• 40:47
  Speaker 1: This heart makes my heart happy, which are nice comments
• 40:50
  Speaker 1: taken at a surface level, but I remember them and
• 40:54
  Speaker 1: I I this was the hardest part for me about
• 40:56
  Speaker 1: the breakup, because the breakup definitely should have happened, but
• 41:00
  Speaker 1: it was I felt like, all of a sudden, people
• 41:02
  Speaker 1: that I thought were friends of mine as well, I
• 41:04
  Speaker 1: knew they weren't. They weren't. I knew they weren't as
• 41:06
  Speaker 1: close to me as they were with Lauren. I felt
• 41:08
  Speaker 1: like I was an outsider. Yeah, and that really sucked. Yeah,
• 41:13
  Speaker 1: that's hard. Do you do you Let's let's try to
• 41:16
  Speaker 1: break that down though. Do you know why? Like why
• 41:18
  Speaker 1: does that have to happen in relationships in general? We
• 41:21
  Speaker 1: just talked about it with you and I. We've also
• 41:24
  Speaker 1: talked about it before some of your breakups, Like why
• 41:26
  Speaker 1: does that a byproduct? I think I think like whenever
• 41:31
  Speaker 1: someone or whenever anyone goes through a breakup, I think
• 41:33
  Speaker 1: people feel like it has to be like somebody's fault
• 41:36
  Speaker 1: or like this person was in the wrong, where like
• 41:38
  Speaker 1: sometimes like nobody's in the wrong, Like it just is
• 41:42
  Speaker 1: what it is. But I just think that everybody, whether
• 41:44
  Speaker 1: it's just people on Instagram or friends of the person
• 41:47
  Speaker 1: that you're with, like people always just think they have
• 41:50
  Speaker 1: to blame somebody um or like someone has to be
• 41:53
  Speaker 1: the bad guy, and I think that's kind of where
• 41:55
  Speaker 1: it comes from. And I also think breakups are hard
• 41:58
  Speaker 1: and whether or not some moves on faster than the
• 42:01
  Speaker 1: other person. I mean, I'm sure it was hard for
• 42:03
  Speaker 1: both of you, um, but yeah, I don't. I never
• 42:07
  Speaker 1: left a mean comment today today think I think people
• 42:10
  Speaker 1: from the show definitely did know that. And it does
• 42:12
  Speaker 1: it confuses you because you're or what your my assumption
• 42:18
  Speaker 1: goes to. And I think it caused a lot of resentment.
• 42:21
  Speaker 1: And I think this is a good lesson to Lauren
• 42:22
  Speaker 1: for anybody out there. What it did was it made
• 42:25
  Speaker 1: my mind go to, Lauren is talking negative about me,
• 42:29
  Speaker 1: or there is some like something uncommunicated that's been harboring
• 42:33
  Speaker 1: in her heart that she's angry at and she's telling
• 42:35
  Speaker 1: her friends, which is a result her friends are standing
• 42:38
  Speaker 1: up for her and with her. And I was going
• 42:40
  Speaker 1: my question was what did I do wrong? Where do
• 42:42
  Speaker 1: we miss the mark? And what am I missing? Because
• 42:46
  Speaker 1: you don't have answers right, I'm not going to call
• 42:48
  Speaker 1: Lauren six months later when she has a boyfriend and
• 42:51
  Speaker 1: go wait, ye, why why are your friends saying you're
• 42:54
  Speaker 1: so happy now that you're not going to get those answers.
• 42:58
  Speaker 1: But it's how I feel like it's not just an
• 43:01
  Speaker 1: isolated case, right, that's not unfamiliar to people out there.
• 43:04
  Speaker 1: They've gone through breakups and social media comes out against them.
• 43:06
  Speaker 1: But why you have insight now on the both sides.
• 43:09
  Speaker 1: You know that happened, you know those feelings were felt
• 43:12
  Speaker 1: by me, and then say multip people outside of that,
• 43:15
  Speaker 1: they have gone through breakups. Why is that the byproduct?
• 43:18
  Speaker 1: Why why are friends standing up saying I'm so happy
• 43:21
  Speaker 1: for you. They know that hurts that other person and
• 43:23
  Speaker 1: they know the X is going to see it. Yeah,
• 43:26
  Speaker 1: I mean I feel like there's I mean, like you said,
• 43:28
  Speaker 1: I just really think there's there's not really an explanation
• 43:31
  Speaker 1: for or a reason for it. I think it's kind
• 43:32
  Speaker 1: of just like almost it's sad to say that there
• 43:36
  Speaker 1: shouldn't be resentment there, especially if there was really no
• 43:39
  Speaker 1: reason why you guys broke up. No one did anything wrong.
• 43:41
  Speaker 1: But I just think naturally we just resort to like
• 43:44
  Speaker 1: feeling bitter in some kind of way about something because
• 43:48
  Speaker 1: nothing's ever going to go fully your way in a breakup,
• 43:50
  Speaker 1: Like the other person can be like super respectful to you,
• 43:53
  Speaker 1: but you're just not going to agree with like every
• 43:55
  Speaker 1: single thing that that person is doing. And I just
• 43:56
  Speaker 1: feel like it's really easy to get better about things,
• 44:00
  Speaker 1: if that makes sense. Yeah, that's a good point. We
• 44:02
  Speaker 1: resort to like bitterness and yeah, and we lose like
• 44:07
  Speaker 1: rationale sometimes and logic. Breakups are really hard. They're so hard.
• 44:12
  Speaker 1: And that leads us into this last one for you,
• 44:16
  Speaker 1: um with Bobby. Yeah, it's it's the one. I mean,
• 44:20
  Speaker 1: Ashley and I are both like we were shocked. I actually,
• 44:23
  Speaker 1: you know how I found out about this At Indiana University.
• 44:27
  Speaker 1: I was doing a thing for a guy that you
• 44:32
  Speaker 1: used in a restaurant in my hometown that I really
• 44:33
  Speaker 1: liked to open up on the Blue me Town. I
• 44:35
  Speaker 1: was down there visiting it for dinner. Somebody came up
• 44:37
  Speaker 1: and goes, how sad are you about Amanda and Bobby.
• 44:39
  Speaker 1: I was like, I don't know about it because I
• 44:42
  Speaker 1: think it cut us all off guard. Yeah, I mean
• 44:44
  Speaker 1: I was pretty caught off guard, to be honest. How
• 44:47
  Speaker 1: is Bobby take how do you take being sort of
• 44:51
  Speaker 1: an Instagram celebrity without ever having kind of like a voice,
• 44:56
  Speaker 1: Because like all of us referred to like oh, Manda
• 44:59
  Speaker 1: and Bobby Bobby, But like I've never met Bobby, and
• 45:02
  Speaker 1: I just had like an image of what Bobby must
• 45:04
  Speaker 1: be like. Did he like that attention? Yeah, I think
• 45:09
  Speaker 1: he did. He did, and I think, I mean, I'll
• 45:11
  Speaker 1: go I'll start from the beginning with that is just
• 45:13
  Speaker 1: like Okay, So when I met Bobby, we we just
• 45:15
  Speaker 1: met online. We started talking. We were talking for a
• 45:17
  Speaker 1: few months before we ever met in person. Um. And
• 45:20
  Speaker 1: in the past, I've always dated guys, not always, but
• 45:24
  Speaker 1: since since my divorce, I've dated guys that were in
• 45:27
  Speaker 1: the spotlight from the show, like guys that loved attention. Um.
• 45:33
  Speaker 1: I mean Josh was like very outgoing, friendly, center of
• 45:36
  Speaker 1: attention kind of guy, like lots of energy um Kins
• 45:39
  Speaker 1: and Charles Dad's like that also, like very energetic, outgoing.
• 45:42
  Speaker 1: You always said that they were simpler. Yeah, Like I've
• 45:45
  Speaker 1: always dated guys that love being the center of attention,
• 45:47
  Speaker 1: and I've always kind of been like the one that
• 45:50
  Speaker 1: wasn't quite as much like the quieter one. And when
• 45:53
  Speaker 1: I met Bobby, he was super quiet, he shy. Um.
• 45:58
  Speaker 1: He was just so different, Like he doesn't drink, he
• 46:01
  Speaker 1: doesn't go out, like he's just very different than any
• 46:04
  Speaker 1: other guy I dated. And I think at the time,
• 46:05
  Speaker 1: I thought like, oh, this is good for me, Like
• 46:07
  Speaker 1: this is what I need. I need someone that's like
• 46:09
  Speaker 1: more mellow and as a homebody and you know, is
• 46:13
  Speaker 1: quiet and all that. So I think I thought it
• 46:15
  Speaker 1: was really good for me and something that I needed,
• 46:17
  Speaker 1: like as a mom um. So that's kind of like
• 46:21
  Speaker 1: what attracted me to him in the first place. But
• 46:23
  Speaker 1: our relationship wasn't as easy in the beginning as some
• 46:27
  Speaker 1: of other relationships that I've had, Like you saw like
• 46:29
  Speaker 1: the spark I had with Josh, Like it wasn't really
• 46:32
  Speaker 1: like that with Bobby. It was more like, to be honest,
• 46:35
  Speaker 1: it was almost more like a friendship throughout our relationship.
• 46:39
  Speaker 1: And I think I was cool with that sometimes because
• 46:41
  Speaker 1: I felt like we're best friends, like we stay home
• 46:45
  Speaker 1: all the time with the kids, like it's great. But
• 46:47
  Speaker 1: I do feel like I wasn't fully being myself throughout
• 46:52
  Speaker 1: our entire relationship, Like I feel like I wasn't allowed
• 46:54
  Speaker 1: to really be myself. And I don't think I realized
• 46:57
  Speaker 1: that our entire relationship until after we broke up. You
• 46:59
  Speaker 1: know how that happen. And sometimes you kind of have
• 47:00
  Speaker 1: your blinders on and I told you, guys, with Josh
• 47:03
  Speaker 1: or in the past, when I've broken up with people,
• 47:05
  Speaker 1: I always thought like, did I try hard enough? So
• 47:07
  Speaker 1: I really tried this time, and I think I was
• 47:10
  Speaker 1: forcing it too much because I think in the past
• 47:13
  Speaker 1: I felt like I didn't try hard enough, and this
• 47:16
  Speaker 1: time I think I tried too hard to where like
• 47:19
  Speaker 1: I just think we weren't right for each other because
• 47:22
  Speaker 1: you felt like it was the right thing. You were
• 47:24
  Speaker 1: trying hard because the image of him being clean cut
• 47:28
  Speaker 1: and tall, dark and handsome and then not a drinker
• 47:32
  Speaker 1: and loving the kids was like what in your mind
• 47:35
  Speaker 1: it was ideal got on paper, And I think I
• 47:38
  Speaker 1: was forcing it. But like I said, I don't really
• 47:40
  Speaker 1: think our entire relationship. I was like fully myself, like
• 47:43
  Speaker 1: even my sister said, and this, this is not a
• 47:46
  Speaker 1: job at him in any way. I mean, it's a
• 47:47
  Speaker 1: job at me. Like my sister said, she's After we
• 47:50
  Speaker 1: broke up with my sister and I went to New
• 47:52
  Speaker 1: York this weekend. It was gonna sound so mean, but
• 47:54
  Speaker 1: I swear it's not meant to be mean. But I
• 47:56
  Speaker 1: was with my sister. We're in New York, and we
• 47:57
  Speaker 1: were like having so much fun. We went to dinner,
• 47:59
  Speaker 1: we went to catch like, we were drinking. We're just
• 48:01
  Speaker 1: having a fun Girl's Nate. And my sister was like,
• 48:03
  Speaker 1: I'm not trying to be mean, but she's like, you're
• 48:05
  Speaker 1: just so much more fun than when you're with Bobby.
• 48:08
  Speaker 1: And I was like, really, She's like, no offense, but
• 48:09
  Speaker 1: like I would have rather hung out with like a rock.
• 48:11
  Speaker 1: When you're with Bobby, you were so boring. So she
• 48:13
  Speaker 1: told me, yeah, and that's not anything on him, it's
• 48:16
  Speaker 1: just on me, Like, I just don't think I was myself. Okay. Yeah,
• 48:20
  Speaker 1: I want to get back to Bobby. Okay, but I
• 48:22
  Speaker 1: want to stop here, okay, because I think this is
• 48:24
  Speaker 1: our first pivot point in your story. Yeah, I'm going
• 48:28
  Speaker 1: to say something that you're probably gonna not love, okay,
• 48:31
  Speaker 1: and you're going to have to respond. Alright, Fine, I'm
• 48:34
  Speaker 1: used to that. I think you've consistently adapted to who
• 48:37
  Speaker 1: the man is in your life to make it work. Yeah,
• 48:41
  Speaker 1: it's true, and you've done it now in the public
• 48:43
  Speaker 1: a couple of times, and with Bobby than once. What
• 48:47
  Speaker 1: have you learned from that? If anything? And you don't
• 48:49
  Speaker 1: have to have learned anything, but if your sister is
• 48:52
  Speaker 1: willing to tell you, Amanda, you were boring and now
• 48:54
  Speaker 1: you're not. Yeah, I think it's pretty clear what she's saying. Uh, um, okay,
• 49:02
  Speaker 1: So I mean in the past, Yeah, I mean I
• 49:04
  Speaker 1: think I've I've tried really hard to make relationships work,
• 49:08
  Speaker 1: but I don't actually feel like I've ever really changed
• 49:12
  Speaker 1: who I was. I think it was just more like,
• 49:16
  Speaker 1: like I told you guys, I thought that this was
• 49:17
  Speaker 1: good for me, like this is what I need. So
• 49:19
  Speaker 1: I think it was more like in my head, it
• 49:21
  Speaker 1: wasn't really that I changed, like as a person or
• 49:24
  Speaker 1: I didn't change my beliefs in my opinions or how
• 49:26
  Speaker 1: I feel about things. And Bobby and I, yeah, like
• 49:29
  Speaker 1: Bobby and I had very different beliefs on like a
• 49:31
  Speaker 1: lot of things. It was more just like, yeah, like
• 49:34
  Speaker 1: a lifestyle change, like I was just boring. But that's suppressing,
• 49:41
  Speaker 1: like your personality something that, yeah, that should be shining.
• 49:45
  Speaker 1: You have a great you are, You're you know, let's
• 49:49
  Speaker 1: let's love on Amanda for a second. Terrific mom, bubbly, uh,
• 49:53
  Speaker 1: super personal and kind, very easy to talk, easy to
• 49:56
  Speaker 1: talk to you. I think when you take those things away,
• 49:58
  Speaker 1: you become a shell of yourself, which ultimately becomes you
• 50:02
  Speaker 1: probably a less likable or at least a less authentic
• 50:05
  Speaker 1: version of yourself, which is unfair to any relationship. And
• 50:08
  Speaker 1: if that's who you've been, how do we stop that? Exactly?
• 50:12
  Speaker 1: I mean? And that's my thing now, Like you know,
• 50:14
  Speaker 1: you learned something from every relationship that you're in, and
• 50:19
  Speaker 1: this time around, I think it just kind of taught me.
• 50:21
  Speaker 1: Like I might have thought something was good for me.
• 50:24
  Speaker 1: I thought I needed something that maybe I didn't, but
• 50:26
  Speaker 1: like I never really I think I just need someone
• 50:28
  Speaker 1: obviously like anyone does that you can fully be yourself
• 50:30
  Speaker 1: around and it just likes you for you and doesn't
• 50:34
  Speaker 1: judge you if you are different than them in certain ways. Um,
• 50:40
  Speaker 1: And yeah, I mean I do think in my last
• 50:41
  Speaker 1: relationship I definitely conformed. But it was also one of
• 50:43
  Speaker 1: those things like I really cared about him and like
• 50:46
  Speaker 1: he was just different and I it wasn't in a
• 50:48
  Speaker 1: in any way that was like harmful or like toxic.
• 50:51
  Speaker 1: It was just like he was just different than me
• 50:53
  Speaker 1: and probably different than the person that I'm going to
• 50:56
  Speaker 1: end up with, you know what I mean. So yeah,
• 51:00
  Speaker 1: So with the Josh, you went back and forth a
• 51:02
  Speaker 1: little bit where you're like, are broken up and went
• 51:04
  Speaker 1: broken up with Bobby? Was it just a clean break?
• 51:07
  Speaker 1: Pretty much left, He took all of his stuff and
• 51:09
  Speaker 1: after a few days of um not talking, I was like,
• 51:12
  Speaker 1: either you need to break up with me or you
• 51:15
  Speaker 1: need to come back right now. But I'm done having
• 51:17
  Speaker 1: this period of like us not talking. I don't even
• 51:19
  Speaker 1: know what you're doing. He wouldn't even answer my phone calls.
• 51:21
  Speaker 1: It was like strictly like a couple of text messages
• 51:23
  Speaker 1: here and there. And so he was like, fine, I
• 51:25
  Speaker 1: want to break up. So I was like, okay, but
• 51:27
  Speaker 1: I'm just letting you know if we break up, I'm
• 51:28
  Speaker 1: not breaking up any back together because I feel like
• 51:31
  Speaker 1: in the past that's what's made my break up so
• 51:33
  Speaker 1: much harder. It's like continuing in that gray area, like
• 51:36
  Speaker 1: I just don't do well with that um And so
• 51:40
  Speaker 1: he's like, okay, I want to break up. Well, then
• 51:41
  Speaker 1: a couple of days later I was like, well, you
• 51:44
  Speaker 1: kind of gave me an ultimatum. I didn't really want
• 51:46
  Speaker 1: to break up, but I also don't want to jump
• 51:49
  Speaker 1: back into it. So I think we should like take
• 51:52
  Speaker 1: things slow and start dating, like you know, you can't
• 51:57
  Speaker 1: backtrack exactly. And I was like, we just moved into
• 52:01
  Speaker 1: this house together. And he I lived an Irvine before,
• 52:05
  Speaker 1: and I actually really liked it. Like he's he plays
• 52:07
  Speaker 1: beach volleyball, so he's like I have to be by
• 52:09
  Speaker 1: the beach. Like he had like two cities you wanted
• 52:11
  Speaker 1: to live in. It was either like Newport or Laguna.
• 52:13
  Speaker 1: Like he was, you know, like a little picky when
• 52:16
  Speaker 1: it came to like the house hunting process. So it's
• 52:18
  Speaker 1: like I got this house. I wouldn't have moved into
• 52:20
  Speaker 1: that house if it weren't for him. Yeah, So it
• 52:23
  Speaker 1: was kind of frustrating. But I was like, I just
• 52:25
  Speaker 1: got this house literally like for us, like kind of
• 52:29
  Speaker 1: for you. So how am I supposed to backtrack and
• 52:32
  Speaker 1: be like okay, like let's go from taking this huge
• 52:35
  Speaker 1: step in our relationship to like just dating again. I
• 52:40
  Speaker 1: was like, no, so yeah, that's it. I don't think
• 52:45
  Speaker 1: you can can't. Yeah, I was like, that doesn't even
• 52:51
  Speaker 1: make sense, Like, and I also, I don't. I don't
• 52:53
  Speaker 1: do breaks in relationships. I don't know. I mean, I
• 52:57
  Speaker 1: think some people could probably do it in a healthy way,
• 52:59
  Speaker 1: but I don't know. I just don't, Like I said,
• 53:01
  Speaker 1: I don't do well with that, like gray area. It's
• 53:04
  Speaker 1: either like I don't know. I've heard of this method
• 53:07
  Speaker 1: multiple times now and it is so wacky to me.
• 53:09
  Speaker 1: It's like, now you can't say I love you be
• 53:12
  Speaker 1: dating seriously to like, and we just took a huge step.
• 53:16
  Speaker 1: So I'm like, how do we and why do I
• 53:18
  Speaker 1: just keep this house for me? You're not going to
• 53:20
  Speaker 1: live here, You're going to get your own apartment, Like
• 53:23
  Speaker 1: it was just odd. I was like, no, I guess
• 53:25
  Speaker 1: it matters what your definition of dating though is, because
• 53:27
  Speaker 1: I do think there's something sweet and I'm just like
• 53:30
  Speaker 1: processing this as you say this in my head about
• 53:33
  Speaker 1: a couple that a couple of gets a divorce, they split,
• 53:37
  Speaker 1: and they go, we want to start dating again? Different
• 53:40
  Speaker 1: I think like dating again, And so my mind is like,
• 53:43
  Speaker 1: you just have to get that restart to say we
• 53:45
  Speaker 1: need to intentionally start dating again, like having fun again,
• 53:48
  Speaker 1: enjoying it to regain like a spark or something. But
• 53:52
  Speaker 1: you can't. You can't be in a dating relationship break
• 53:55
  Speaker 1: up and now say yeah, but like, let's just pull back, right,
• 53:57
  Speaker 1: Let's not look for exclusiveivity. Let's pull back of our
• 54:00
  Speaker 1: emotions and feelings and let's just like start hanging out exactly.
• 54:04
  Speaker 1: And I think it makes sense because he's we're just
• 54:07
  Speaker 1: like very different, like you know, we have like we're
• 54:10
  Speaker 1: just very different people. So I think that's something that
• 54:13
  Speaker 1: he would be able to do. Tell us more. You
• 54:19
  Speaker 1: the public, I mean, it's not naive and you've read
• 54:22
  Speaker 1: it like she's had all these field relationships. This is
• 54:24
  Speaker 1: how we know Amanda, this is who she is. Of
• 54:26
  Speaker 1: course this is going to happen. Is stuff that you
• 54:28
  Speaker 1: have to hear of all the time. What is your
• 54:31
  Speaker 1: response then, I mean, I think over the past four years,
• 54:36
  Speaker 1: I think with being on the show and just having
• 54:40
  Speaker 1: this last relationship, being a mom, having some of the
• 54:44
  Speaker 1: opportunities that I've had, I think I've grown a lot
• 54:46
  Speaker 1: and I think I've I really like believe in myself
• 54:49
  Speaker 1: and who I am, and I know myself pretty well now,
• 54:52
  Speaker 1: so it doesn't really bother me. But I think there's
• 54:54
  Speaker 1: just times where it's like I know how hard I
• 54:57
  Speaker 1: tried in a relationship, or how good I was or
• 54:59
  Speaker 1: all the m you know, things that I did to
• 55:02
  Speaker 1: make a relationship work, and other people didn't see that.
• 55:04
  Speaker 1: So I think sometimes that's frustrating. But I think That's
• 55:06
  Speaker 1: something that you just have to deal with when you
• 55:09
  Speaker 1: know you're in the position that we're in where people
• 55:11
  Speaker 1: are never going to know every detail and people are
• 55:13
  Speaker 1: going to judge you, and you kind of just have
• 55:15
  Speaker 1: to accept it for what it is and talk. You
• 55:17
  Speaker 1: can't sit there and defend and say every detail of
• 55:20
  Speaker 1: your life and you know it's not worth it. I
• 55:23
  Speaker 1: talked about that with Caitlin. We were talking about how
• 55:27
  Speaker 1: when you break up with somebody in the public eye,
• 55:31
  Speaker 1: or even even not break up, just like little actions
• 55:33
  Speaker 1: that you make, and you kind of part of you
• 55:38
  Speaker 1: wants to go and tell the entire story to everyone,
• 55:41
  Speaker 1: and then the other part of you know, is like
• 55:42
  Speaker 1: how petty that would look and how you want to
• 55:44
  Speaker 1: be above it, and you're like, where do I find
• 55:47
  Speaker 1: this fine line of getting my story out there and
• 55:50
  Speaker 1: its entirety but also not looking like this person that
• 55:53
  Speaker 1: is just so obsessed with appearances and what other people
• 55:55
  Speaker 1: think of it. It's that that's where it's like, it's
• 55:58
  Speaker 1: just not worth it, you know. At the Caitlin and Ica,
• 56:01
  Speaker 1: at the end of the day, is it's not worth
• 56:03
  Speaker 1: It isn't worth it. So that's why we choose not
• 56:05
  Speaker 1: to and to continue to have that lingering frustration inside frustrating.
• 56:10
  Speaker 1: There is a really good time to share that, and
• 56:11
  Speaker 1: that's on the in depth almost Famous Podactyl. Because you're
• 56:17
  Speaker 1: not you did you did not ask we asked you
• 56:18
  Speaker 1: to do this. Yeah, and it gives you, hopefully time
• 56:21
  Speaker 1: to talk it out. I mean, like like therapy, it's
• 56:23
  Speaker 1: really nice than you. We just want to get to
• 56:26
  Speaker 1: know you because your story ultimately really matters to the
• 56:30
  Speaker 1: people listening, and it really matters to us because I
• 56:34
  Speaker 1: think what actually and I have seen is that this
• 56:37
  Speaker 1: world gets confusing, it gets hard in situations like this exists,
• 56:41
  Speaker 1: and it looks ugly and it may look like a
• 56:43
  Speaker 1: soap proper as times, but ultimately we all need a
• 56:47
  Speaker 1: place to be us and we need a place to
• 56:50
  Speaker 1: share our stories because stories do matter. And so like
• 56:52
  Speaker 1: we said at the beginning, once you get to know
• 56:53
  Speaker 1: somebody more, it's hard to hate them. Yeah. But yeah,
• 56:56
  Speaker 1: like I was saying, how like I said, I was
• 56:58
  Speaker 1: super blind taded at the time, and he broke up
• 57:00
  Speaker 1: with me. But then afterwards I kind of, you know,
• 57:04
  Speaker 1: realized that there were things like leading up to that,
• 57:07
  Speaker 1: and then I think also like someone's in your relationship,
• 57:09
  Speaker 1: you have your blinders on, and after you start seeing things.
• 57:11
  Speaker 1: And there was like a couple of things that happened
• 57:14
  Speaker 1: during our breakup and like how it was handled that
• 57:18
  Speaker 1: I think made me realize a lot of things. Like, um,
• 57:22
  Speaker 1: one of those things was like, obviously I said he
• 57:23
  Speaker 1: broke up with me, and I was already going through
• 57:26
  Speaker 1: a lot at the time, which I'm sure we're talking
• 57:28
  Speaker 1: about leader, but like I had the whole like hacker
• 57:30
  Speaker 1: situation at my doctor's office, and I was just going
• 57:33
  Speaker 1: through a lot, and instead of asking me how I
• 57:35
  Speaker 1: want to handle it or letting me confirmed to everybody
• 57:38
  Speaker 1: that we broke up, he just kind of went ahead
• 57:40
  Speaker 1: and handled it himself. And then also like set his
• 57:42
  Speaker 1: Instagram to private when people were speculating to gain more followers,
• 57:47
  Speaker 1: because I guess I don't understand. Yeah, it's uh, yeah,
• 57:51
  Speaker 1: how do you gain more followers? But in private? Because
• 57:53
  Speaker 1: if you're public, people can like lurk on your page
• 57:55
  Speaker 1: and they can go speculate and not follow you. But
• 57:57
  Speaker 1: if you go private, then they have to actually follow you.
• 58:00
  Speaker 1: So it's like a tactic. And I don't know, I
• 58:02
  Speaker 1: guess it just bothered me, Like you're using our breakup
• 58:04
  Speaker 1: as a tactic to like gain followers. I don't know,
• 58:06
  Speaker 1: it just kind of like just kind of rub me
• 58:09
  Speaker 1: the wrong way, and it was just something I was like, yeah, yeah,
• 58:13
  Speaker 1: And I was just like it just kind of not
• 58:15
  Speaker 1: like made me insecure in any way. But I was like,
• 58:17
  Speaker 1: I guess that's something you need to look out for.
• 58:19
  Speaker 1: Is like like he's never had a serious girlfriend before. Yeah,
• 58:24
  Speaker 1: Like he's never like you know, had a very serious,
• 58:27
  Speaker 1: committed relationship. And I always kind of wondered, like, well,
• 58:29
  Speaker 1: like why with me? Like of course, like there's the option,
• 58:32
  Speaker 1: like you just really love me, but like how at
• 58:33
  Speaker 1: that age, like do not have you not had like
• 58:35
  Speaker 1: other serious relationships? And I think just like moving forward,
• 58:38
  Speaker 1: you just have to be kind of careful, like oh,
• 58:40
  Speaker 1: with someone's intentions, like do they want Instagram fame or
• 58:44
  Speaker 1: like we said with Robbie, like do you just want
• 58:46
  Speaker 1: to be a bachelor couple? Like there's always ulterior motives
• 58:49
  Speaker 1: of people sometimes And I'm not saying that that's that's
• 58:51
  Speaker 1: what Bobby had, Like I don't know that, but it's
• 58:55
  Speaker 1: just like that made me feel that way a little bit.
• 59:00
  Speaker 1: You know. I was thinking about this and it's an
• 59:02
  Speaker 1: interesting I think correlation. I was trying to figure out
• 59:07
  Speaker 1: how to date in the real world. Everybody was always asked,
• 59:10
  Speaker 1: are you I was nervous about what people's intentions are
• 59:12
  Speaker 1: is what I always got, right, and I was I
• 59:14
  Speaker 1: was like, I don't think so, because I think you
• 59:16
  Speaker 1: could read through them. And then I was I say
• 59:18
  Speaker 1: about this a couple of months ago. You know, I'm
• 59:20
  Speaker 1: the only bachelor as long as I remember, that's dating
• 59:24
  Speaker 1: somebody outside the franchise. What about Nick? I mean, he's
• 59:30
  Speaker 1: not dating anybody. So he's not in a committed relationship
• 59:33
  Speaker 1: with anybody. Yea, yeah, And so it is a kind
• 59:38
  Speaker 1: of a new frontier, right, I mean every other bachelor
• 59:42
  Speaker 1: has somebody within the franchise or is not dating at all.
• 59:46
  Speaker 1: And so Amanda, I get what you're saying, and like,
• 59:48
  Speaker 1: it is a frontier that we don't know how to
• 59:50
  Speaker 1: navigate now. I you know, I'm with Jessica, and I
• 59:52
  Speaker 1: know her intentions are very pure, and it was very
• 59:55
  Speaker 1: clear from the beginning what her intention works. I worked,
• 59:58
  Speaker 1: I reached out to her, yeah, and she had no
• 1:00:01
  Speaker 1: you know, no idea that was coming. But it is interesting,
• 1:00:04
  Speaker 1: how do you think you do handle filtering through people's intentions.
• 1:00:10
  Speaker 1: I mean, I just think that you just you can.
• 1:00:14
  Speaker 1: I feel like most people have like a gut feeling,
• 1:00:16
  Speaker 1: and you can kind of tell, like you said, like
• 1:00:18
  Speaker 1: you can tell if someone really likes you for you,
• 1:00:20
  Speaker 1: if they have ulterior motives with everything. But I think
• 1:00:23
  Speaker 1: sometimes it's hard to tell. I think sometimes it can
• 1:00:25
  Speaker 1: be a mix of both. You know, I think sometimes
• 1:00:27
  Speaker 1: somebody can like you for you but also be a
• 1:00:30
  Speaker 1: little intrigued by whatever else it is. Um But yeah,
• 1:00:34
  Speaker 1: it's hard because some people are really good at hiding things.
• 1:00:38
  Speaker 1: So a lot of Bacheldoornation who's like really invested in
• 1:00:41
  Speaker 1: relationships after the show will say that they see a
• 1:00:46
  Speaker 1: lot of Robbie and Bobby. How do you think about that?
• 1:00:50
  Speaker 1: I mean, I actually hated that when we were dating.
• 1:00:56
  Speaker 1: I don't know, I didn't like that, but I guess
• 1:00:58
  Speaker 1: I see what they're saying and so a certain way,
• 1:01:00
  Speaker 1: like they do have like a similar look, although like
• 1:01:02
  Speaker 1: I don't think they look too similar, but I see
• 1:01:05
  Speaker 1: they have like the same kind of coloring and eyes,
• 1:01:08
  Speaker 1: and I can see why people think that. Very different
• 1:01:12
  Speaker 1: people though, So how do you explain to your daughters
• 1:01:15
  Speaker 1: when you're going through a breakup, whether it be with
• 1:01:17
  Speaker 1: Bobby or Josh. Yeah. Um, so it was a lot
• 1:01:24
  Speaker 1: different when I broke up with Josh than this time
• 1:01:26
  Speaker 1: around when I broke with Bobby, because it was it
• 1:01:28
  Speaker 1: was like about two and a half years difference. But
• 1:01:31
  Speaker 1: I feel like that makes a pretty big difference when
• 1:01:33
  Speaker 1: that understand. Yeah, so like now they understand, and I
• 1:01:37
  Speaker 1: don't know, I have a pretty good and honest relationship
• 1:01:40
  Speaker 1: with them, and I don't really have a problem kind
• 1:01:43
  Speaker 1: of telling him how it is. And they knew Bobby
• 1:01:46
  Speaker 1: was my boyfriend just moved in together, and I kind
• 1:01:47
  Speaker 1: of just told them like, oh, well, like me and
• 1:01:50
  Speaker 1: Bobby broke up, and it was just pretty honest with
• 1:01:52
  Speaker 1: them about it because I don't know, I don't I know,
• 1:01:56
  Speaker 1: there's like a lot of people out there that think that,
• 1:01:58
  Speaker 1: and a lot of times it's the people that don't
• 1:02:00
  Speaker 1: kids that feel this way. But they're like they just
• 1:02:02
  Speaker 1: think that you need to raise your kids to just
• 1:02:04
  Speaker 1: think everything's like happy all the time and put on
• 1:02:07
  Speaker 1: this front to your kids like this world is like perfect,
• 1:02:10
  Speaker 1: and I don't know, I just don't really agree with that.
• 1:02:12
  Speaker 1: I'm pretty honest with them, like they know when I'm
• 1:02:15
  Speaker 1: going through something like life has its ups and downs.
• 1:02:18
  Speaker 1: Like people are together, they can break up. Like obviously
• 1:02:22
  Speaker 1: there are things that I don't show them, and there's
• 1:02:24
  Speaker 1: things that I'm super adamant about, like I'll never argue
• 1:02:26
  Speaker 1: with somebody in front of them, you know, stuff like that.
• 1:02:29
  Speaker 1: But for the most part, I can be pretty honest
• 1:02:31
  Speaker 1: about what's going on with them. I think that's kind
• 1:02:34
  Speaker 1: of how you handle it. I feel like that it's
• 1:02:37
  Speaker 1: the I'm not a parent, so I feel even yeah,
• 1:02:40
  Speaker 1: I have I feel weird even yeah, saying it has
• 1:02:43
  Speaker 1: to be because you don't get a naive or uh
• 1:02:47
  Speaker 1: an abstract view of life where it's everything is perfect
• 1:02:50
  Speaker 1: and it's false because then once you get into the
• 1:02:52
  Speaker 1: real world and you go to college or whatever, everything
• 1:02:54
  Speaker 1: like people start you've experienced heartbreak for the first time,
• 1:02:57
  Speaker 1: or people start arguing in front of you for the
• 1:02:59
  Speaker 1: first time, or and then all of a sudden, there's
• 1:03:01
  Speaker 1: I think, I forget what the realization is. But there's
• 1:03:04
  Speaker 1: a moment in every person's life where you realize your
• 1:03:07
  Speaker 1: your parents aren't perfect. Yeah, and it's like it's one
• 1:03:10
  Speaker 1: of those like major life changing moments. If that could
• 1:03:13
  Speaker 1: happen at an early age, I would imagine that it's
• 1:03:15
  Speaker 1: a healthier foundation to build upon. I don't know, or
• 1:03:18
  Speaker 1: like I think if you, you know, raise your kids
• 1:03:20
  Speaker 1: thinking like everything is perfect all the time, and then
• 1:03:22
  Speaker 1: they grow up to start having their own problems and
• 1:03:25
  Speaker 1: they're like, wait, like this isn't normal, This isn't supposed
• 1:03:28
  Speaker 1: to be this way. Things are supposed to be perfect,
• 1:03:30
  Speaker 1: And I think it's just like and I always am
• 1:03:32
  Speaker 1: like like, so for this breakup, for example, they don't
• 1:03:35
  Speaker 1: see me like broken or like not being motivated, like
• 1:03:40
  Speaker 1: I'm still feel exactly like I'm fine. So I think
• 1:03:43
  Speaker 1: it's good for them to see that, like, hey, like
• 1:03:46
  Speaker 1: this didn't work out, like we're two different people, but
• 1:03:48
  Speaker 1: like I'm still okay and I'm still happy and like
• 1:03:51
  Speaker 1: life goes on and I don't know, I don't that's
• 1:03:54
  Speaker 1: just personally how I choose to handle situations. But when
• 1:03:58
  Speaker 1: you talk about parenting in general, I feel like it's
• 1:04:00
  Speaker 1: so tricky because everybody parents in a different way, and
• 1:04:02
  Speaker 1: everybody has such different beliefs, and if people don't agree
• 1:04:06
  Speaker 1: with the way you parents, they'll like shame you or
• 1:04:08
  Speaker 1: say that your kids are going to be messed up
• 1:04:10
  Speaker 1: someday because of how you're raising them. It's just like
• 1:04:12
  Speaker 1: such a crazy thing. So that's why I don't really
• 1:04:15
  Speaker 1: talk too much about how I handle situations with my
• 1:04:18
  Speaker 1: kids or talk about it, because that's what I believe in.
• 1:04:20
  Speaker 1: But not everybody believes in handling things that way, and
• 1:04:24
  Speaker 1: a lot of judgment comes from that sometimes. So are
• 1:04:26
  Speaker 1: the girls sad after these breakups? Are they like? Are
• 1:04:29
  Speaker 1: we ever going to see them again? I think you
• 1:04:31
  Speaker 1: made a comment on Instagram that, like the girls, we're
• 1:04:33
  Speaker 1: going to see Bobby? But like does that change with time? No? No,
• 1:04:37
  Speaker 1: So I I just think it's better. I mean, I
• 1:04:39
  Speaker 1: was dating him for a year. He didn't even meet
• 1:04:41
  Speaker 1: the kids for a few months into our relationship, so
• 1:04:44
  Speaker 1: I just didn't see the need for him to still
• 1:04:46
  Speaker 1: be coming around. I felt like that would just confuse
• 1:04:48
  Speaker 1: them even more. Um So, I just didn't think it
• 1:04:50
  Speaker 1: was necessary. But um so, Charlie, Charlie was pretty close
• 1:04:55
  Speaker 1: with him. She's like younger, she really gets along with everyone.
• 1:04:58
  Speaker 1: She really dim But Kinsley, like I said, she was
• 1:05:03
  Speaker 1: different with Bobby than she was with Josh. Like with Josh,
• 1:05:05
  Speaker 1: she was like like I loved him, was fine, Like
• 1:05:08
  Speaker 1: I could like kiss Josh in front of her. She
• 1:05:10
  Speaker 1: didn't care with Bobby. She was very like I couldn't
• 1:05:14
  Speaker 1: even hold his hand, like, she was very clean. I
• 1:05:15
  Speaker 1: don't know. She was very different this relationship, and I
• 1:05:19
  Speaker 1: don't know whether it's the guy's vibe. Yeah, I have
• 1:05:22
  Speaker 1: no idea, and so, I mean every kid's different, every
• 1:05:25
  Speaker 1: relationships different, But I don't know. Kinds was kind of
• 1:05:28
  Speaker 1: just like okay, like that's fine. Like they've asked about
• 1:05:30
  Speaker 1: him a couple of times, mostly when there's bugs in
• 1:05:32
  Speaker 1: the house, because they're like, who's going to kill this bug? Yeah,
• 1:05:37
  Speaker 1: not not me, I mean Charlie usually kills him. No, yea,
• 1:05:42
  Speaker 1: all right. My last question about your girls in relationships
• 1:05:45
  Speaker 1: is you you get so much flak and it drives
• 1:05:50
  Speaker 1: me bananas when you're away on a trip, because people
• 1:05:54
  Speaker 1: are like, who's taking care of your kids? Like do
• 1:05:56
  Speaker 1: you ever spend time with your kids? Or even every
• 1:05:58
  Speaker 1: time you go to Paradise or do the Bachelor, it's
• 1:06:01
  Speaker 1: like three weeks, three four weeks people, you know, right,
• 1:06:04
  Speaker 1: and yes that it's a very long amount of time.
• 1:06:06
  Speaker 1: But the girls are always with a family member, be
• 1:06:09
  Speaker 1: their dad or their grandma. Yes, okay, so I don't
• 1:06:12
  Speaker 1: have a nanny. I actually don't even have a babysitter
• 1:06:15
  Speaker 1: at all, like a consistent babysitter. No, not even a
• 1:06:18
  Speaker 1: once in a while babysitter. I literally do not have
• 1:06:20
  Speaker 1: one at all. So the only people that watch my
• 1:06:23
  Speaker 1: kids are either me, their dad, or my mom. And
• 1:06:27
  Speaker 1: my parents just moved back. My parents were living in St.
• 1:06:29
  Speaker 1: Louis for a while, so I didn't have them back then,
• 1:06:33
  Speaker 1: so it's kind of a newer thing for me, and
• 1:06:35
  Speaker 1: it's nice to have their help. So every Tuesday and
• 1:06:37
  Speaker 1: my mom will pick the girls up from school and
• 1:06:39
  Speaker 1: take them to dance, and then I'll pick them up
• 1:06:41
  Speaker 1: later from dance. So it gives me Tuesday to get
• 1:06:43
  Speaker 1: work done and stuff like that. Um. But besides that,
• 1:06:46
  Speaker 1: I mean kids goes to school. I drive him to school,
• 1:06:48
  Speaker 1: pick them up every day. Um. If I go on
• 1:06:50
  Speaker 1: a trip, it's usually during their dad's weekend. Actually of
• 1:06:54
  Speaker 1: the time it's during their dad's weekend. Um, because I
• 1:06:59
  Speaker 1: don't know, it's kind of a lot for my parents
• 1:07:00
  Speaker 1: to watch both kids, especially overnight, so it's not something
• 1:07:03
  Speaker 1: that I do often. UM. So anytime, like when I
• 1:07:07
  Speaker 1: was at Stagecoach there with their dad that weekend, um,
• 1:07:11
  Speaker 1: I was just in New York with my sister. It
• 1:07:12
  Speaker 1: was their dad's weekend. So people will judge me for it,
• 1:07:14
  Speaker 1: but I'm like, whether I was home or whether I'm
• 1:07:17
  Speaker 1: in New York with my sister, I'm not going to
• 1:07:19
  Speaker 1: be with my kids either way. So it is what
• 1:07:22
  Speaker 1: it is. And it's not like, obviously I wish I
• 1:07:25
  Speaker 1: could be with my kids all the time, but it's
• 1:07:28
  Speaker 1: just it's our life and that's just always how it's been.
• 1:07:31
  Speaker 1: Ever since the girls were born, I've split custody with
• 1:07:33
  Speaker 1: their dad. So it's just how how it is. How
• 1:07:38
  Speaker 1: how's your relationship with their dad. It's had its ups
• 1:07:41
  Speaker 1: and downs, like throughout the years. So when we first
• 1:07:44
  Speaker 1: split up, obviously it was not very good and um,
• 1:07:48
  Speaker 1: but like over the years, we've had our ups and downs,
• 1:07:51
  Speaker 1: but it's good right now. It's good. It's been good
• 1:07:53
  Speaker 1: for a while. I feel like we are also very
• 1:07:57
  Speaker 1: different people, I think, so I never post anything about
• 1:08:00
  Speaker 1: their dad, But the other day I've been getting a
• 1:08:01
  Speaker 1: lot of crap lately because they've been traveling and people
• 1:08:03
  Speaker 1: are like, we're you're your kids, and like you guys,
• 1:08:05
  Speaker 1: they have a dad. It's funny. Someone actually commented there,
• 1:08:08
  Speaker 1: like the dad passed away. I'm like, no, he's I'm like,
• 1:08:11
  Speaker 1: I'm like, he's very much alive. He's here. Um, So
• 1:08:14
  Speaker 1: I posted something the other day of like me dropping
• 1:08:16
  Speaker 1: Charlie off at his house, and all these people were like, oh,
• 1:08:20
  Speaker 1: like that's their dad, blah bla, because they've I don't
• 1:08:22
  Speaker 1: think I've ever posted anything of him. But um, we
• 1:08:25
  Speaker 1: would never get back together or anything like that. But
• 1:08:27
  Speaker 1: we have a fine relationship. We're not close, but we're
• 1:08:32
  Speaker 1: like said breakups aren't easy. It's cordial. Yeah, No, we're cordial.
• 1:08:35
  Speaker 1: I mean we we even like talk sometimes about like
• 1:08:37
  Speaker 1: random things that he can tell me about a girl
• 1:08:39
  Speaker 1: he's dating or I can tell him about. It's it's
• 1:08:42
  Speaker 1: not weird. We don't get there's not that like ex
• 1:08:45
  Speaker 1: like jealousy thing between. It's like the only time wherever
• 1:08:48
  Speaker 1: on bad terms is like sometimes things will come up
• 1:08:51
  Speaker 1: with the kids, but I feel like that happens even
• 1:08:53
  Speaker 1: when you're married, Like you have arguments over like the kids,
• 1:08:55
  Speaker 1: you know. So it's nothing. We have a we have
• 1:08:57
  Speaker 1: a pretty good relationship. How old were you when you
• 1:08:59
  Speaker 1: got married? It was twenty one two. I was twenty
• 1:09:07
  Speaker 1: one when I got pregnant, but I just turned twenty
• 1:09:09
  Speaker 1: two when I had her, so it was really young. Yeah.
• 1:09:11
  Speaker 1: And my last question is you mentioned earlier that when
• 1:09:15
  Speaker 1: before char came along that it was just you and kids,
• 1:09:19
  Speaker 1: and you were like and you kind of had her
• 1:09:21
  Speaker 1: full time? Then did you did you have her full time?
• 1:09:23
  Speaker 1: It was so it was once Charlie was born that
• 1:09:26
  Speaker 1: it was what custody. Yeah, so I had them full
• 1:09:29
  Speaker 1: time until Charlie was like six months old. Yeah, and
• 1:09:35
  Speaker 1: then we started putting it up. Yeah, you know, it's
• 1:09:38
  Speaker 1: it is interesting, and I think again it's nice to
• 1:09:41
  Speaker 1: be able to talk about it because the public does
• 1:09:43
  Speaker 1: watch your social media and they say you're gone all
• 1:09:46
  Speaker 1: the time, and where are the kids, And it's nice
• 1:09:49
  Speaker 1: to be able to say, I hope, like, well there,
• 1:09:52
  Speaker 1: no matter what, I'm not going to be with them.
• 1:09:53
  Speaker 1: Like if I'm back in, I'm gonna you're gonna sit
• 1:09:55
  Speaker 1: alone at home where I'm gonna to go go out
• 1:09:57
  Speaker 1: and live a life and do my thing. And I
• 1:09:59
  Speaker 1: had joy traveling. I enjoy doing things, so it's like
• 1:10:02
  Speaker 1: it's nice for me to have that time that like
• 1:10:05
  Speaker 1: I'm not going to have with them anyways, you know
• 1:10:07
  Speaker 1: what I mean. Who takes care of them primarily when
• 1:10:09
  Speaker 1: you are doing paradise, is it a split between your
• 1:10:12
  Speaker 1: mom and dad? So when I was in Paradise, my
• 1:10:15
  Speaker 1: mom watched him fully and let me unless it was
• 1:10:17
  Speaker 1: like next time to have him, then he would take him.
• 1:10:19
  Speaker 1: But it was like the same schedule that we have
• 1:10:21
  Speaker 1: when I'm home, but my mom was taking care of him. Yeah. UM, Amanda,
• 1:10:26
  Speaker 1: we have a little bit more to talk about, UM,
• 1:10:30
  Speaker 1: A lot less to talk about with your relationships. UM,
• 1:10:33
  Speaker 1: but you have one more relationships. Yeah, but we do
• 1:10:36
  Speaker 1: want to want to close this session out, UM with
• 1:10:40
  Speaker 1: the cheers to you. Thanks, cheers, Amanda, thanks for coming in. UM.
• 1:10:45
  Speaker 1: We have two more seconds left. We're going to dive
• 1:10:48
  Speaker 1: into who Amanda is, who is she becoming, and what
• 1:10:51
  Speaker 1: has she learned. But first we had to fill up
• 1:10:52
  Speaker 1: our wine glasses, so we're gonna take a break again.
• 1:10:57
  Speaker 1: So let's get serious for a minute. Okay, UM, I
• 1:11:02
  Speaker 1: know that you have zero desired to name names and
• 1:11:04
  Speaker 1: it's not important here, but you have mentioned publicly that
• 1:11:07
  Speaker 1: you've been in abusive relationships. UM. Anytime we talked about
• 1:11:11
  Speaker 1: these topics on the podcast, we have a lot of listeners, UM,
• 1:11:14
  Speaker 1: predominantly female listeners. U. I said female once in the
• 1:11:18
  Speaker 1: podcast I got, I didn't realize females no longer a
• 1:11:20
  Speaker 1: word to use. It's it's the women I got. I
• 1:11:22
  Speaker 1: don't know women. It has to be women now, which
• 1:11:24
  Speaker 1: is great. I'll say women. I'm getting better at it.
• 1:11:26
  Speaker 1: I'm working on it. Uh. We have a lot of
• 1:11:28
  Speaker 1: women listeners, and um, they always respond in a very
• 1:11:35
  Speaker 1: vulnerable way when stuff like this has talked about. Since
• 1:11:38
  Speaker 1: you have publicly started stated this before, I want to
• 1:11:40
  Speaker 1: ask you a few questions following this. One is why
• 1:11:42
  Speaker 1: do you think you're attracted to those types of guys?
• 1:11:45
  Speaker 1: I think, to be honest, I think I hate to
• 1:11:50
  Speaker 1: say it like this, I do think like it's just
• 1:11:52
  Speaker 1: kind of my personality. I also think those kind of
• 1:11:54
  Speaker 1: guys are attracted to me, and I think it's because
• 1:11:57
  Speaker 1: I'm very nice and very forgiving. Um, I kind of
• 1:12:01
  Speaker 1: see the good in people. So I kind of think
• 1:12:04
  Speaker 1: I'm an easy, easier target for somebody like that like
• 1:12:07
  Speaker 1: to be manipulated by. But the crazy thing is about
• 1:12:10
  Speaker 1: like when you're with someone that you would consider abusive,
• 1:12:13
  Speaker 1: as a lot of times they don't think they're abusive,
• 1:12:16
  Speaker 1: and so I think that's the hard part is it
• 1:12:18
  Speaker 1: makes you feel like, well, was it really in an
• 1:12:21
  Speaker 1: abusive relationship? Or am I just being dramatic by saying
• 1:12:23
  Speaker 1: that because I think they don't believe that they're being abusive,
• 1:12:27
  Speaker 1: And I think there's so many different forms of emotional
• 1:12:31
  Speaker 1: physical abuse that like, if you feel like you're in
• 1:12:35
  Speaker 1: an abusive relationship, you probably are. You don't really need
• 1:12:38
  Speaker 1: you know, proof for that. So yeah, I want to know.
• 1:12:44
  Speaker 1: I want to understand a little bit here when we oftentimes,
• 1:12:48
  Speaker 1: as we said on multiple occasions, we see the negative
• 1:12:50
  Speaker 1: and relationships when it's over and you look back on it,
• 1:12:53
  Speaker 1: Is that the same thing when it comes to abusive
• 1:12:56
  Speaker 1: relationships or as somebody that is the victim, are you
• 1:13:00
  Speaker 1: knowing at the time and it's just hard to get
• 1:13:02
  Speaker 1: out or are you looking back and saying I was
• 1:13:06
  Speaker 1: a victim of abuse? I think you can see it
• 1:13:08
  Speaker 1: when you're in it, like you know, but then I
• 1:13:11
  Speaker 1: think that, I mean, it's different for everybody, but I
• 1:13:14
  Speaker 1: think when you're in an abusive relationship and you see
• 1:13:17
  Speaker 1: those things when you're in it, a lot of times
• 1:13:19
  Speaker 1: they have a way of making you feel like you're
• 1:13:21
  Speaker 1: crazy or that it's you, or that it's not that way,
• 1:13:24
  Speaker 1: or you're being dramatic. So I feel like you do
• 1:13:26
  Speaker 1: see those things, but it really takes until after to
• 1:13:28
  Speaker 1: look back and be like and really see things more clearly.
• 1:13:32
  Speaker 1: That makes sense. What are some of the lessons than
• 1:13:34
  Speaker 1: for anybody out there? Because I'm telling you a man,
• 1:13:37
  Speaker 1: it we get some emails that are hurt. I feel
• 1:13:39
  Speaker 1: like it's so common, like whether it's why why is
• 1:13:42
  Speaker 1: it so common? Because I just like I said before,
• 1:13:45
  Speaker 1: I think there's really no way to define an abusive relationship.
• 1:13:48
  Speaker 1: Like there's so many different ways that a relationship can
• 1:13:50
  Speaker 1: be abusive, like especially emotionally, um, if somebody is like
• 1:13:54
  Speaker 1: manipulative or controlling, or there's just so many different ways
• 1:13:59
  Speaker 1: that it can really affect somebody's mental health and that's
• 1:14:03
  Speaker 1: considered abusive. But like I said before, I think a
• 1:14:05
  Speaker 1: lot of people that are abusive don't actually think that
• 1:14:08
  Speaker 1: they are even though they are. So I think that's
• 1:14:10
  Speaker 1: why there's so many people that are in relationships like that. Um.
• 1:14:16
  Speaker 1: But what the question was, how do you like What
• 1:14:19
  Speaker 1: would be my advice to somebody? UM, I would just say,
• 1:14:21
  Speaker 1: like trust your gut and don't doubt yourself, Like if
• 1:14:24
  Speaker 1: you feel like that's the case too, trust yourself and
• 1:14:28
  Speaker 1: just get out of it. Um. So I think that's
• 1:14:30
  Speaker 1: the hardest part about getting out of a relationship like
• 1:14:32
  Speaker 1: that is a lot of times you're being manipulated and
• 1:14:35
  Speaker 1: you start doubting yourself or you think you're the crazy one,
• 1:14:37
  Speaker 1: or you're the problem. And that's why you stay in
• 1:14:40
  Speaker 1: it longer than you should, because you start to believe
• 1:14:42
  Speaker 1: that you're the problem. So I think you just got
• 1:14:45
  Speaker 1: to trust your gut. It's it's I mean, I always
• 1:14:48
  Speaker 1: found it. I was shocked, and you know, I've heard
• 1:14:51
  Speaker 1: your stories and I've seen your relationships, and I've been
• 1:14:53
  Speaker 1: a fan of you, and I've dated you and got
• 1:14:54
  Speaker 1: to know you a little bit. And then the headlines
• 1:14:57
  Speaker 1: came out in Vegas and all of these things started
• 1:15:00
  Speaker 1: swirling around and it and it felt like in my
• 1:15:04
  Speaker 1: eyes at least as somebody that probably knows you, and
• 1:15:06
  Speaker 1: I feel like I'm a little bit taint because I
• 1:15:07
  Speaker 1: know you a little bit more than maybe the public.
• 1:15:10
  Speaker 1: I felt like a paradigm shift where you now became
• 1:15:15
  Speaker 1: the person that people are like, WHOA, She's claimed this,
• 1:15:19
  Speaker 1: but now it's switched. Two questions are because I want
• 1:15:22
  Speaker 1: you just kind of the freedom to explain it. I
• 1:15:24
  Speaker 1: don't want to. One is how did you handle that?
• 1:15:28
  Speaker 1: How did that make you feel? And what what did
• 1:15:32
  Speaker 1: what do you do? Now? Yeah, so obviously that whole
• 1:15:36
  Speaker 1: situation was like just a complete nightmare. Um. There, you know,
• 1:15:43
  Speaker 1: there's like a truth to the situation that I can't
• 1:15:47
  Speaker 1: really explain or I can't really talk about. Um. But
• 1:15:51
  Speaker 1: for the most part, I mean, I think anyone that
• 1:15:54
  Speaker 1: knows me knows that that is not who I am.
• 1:15:57
  Speaker 1: That's not also the kind of really and the Bobby
• 1:16:00
  Speaker 1: and I had, I mean we broke up now and
• 1:16:02
  Speaker 1: our relationship wasn't perfect, but that was never something that
• 1:16:05
  Speaker 1: was an issue. Um. And yeah, I mean everybody was
• 1:16:09
  Speaker 1: just like everyone that knows me was like, that doesn't
• 1:16:12
  Speaker 1: really make any sense, and even you know, it didn't.
• 1:16:15
  Speaker 1: And I think it's easy to look at a situation
• 1:16:18
  Speaker 1: like that and see it in the media and assume
• 1:16:21
  Speaker 1: things or jump to conclusions or think. I think a
• 1:16:24
  Speaker 1: big thing is people see somebody or think they know
• 1:16:26
  Speaker 1: someone and they see something like that and they're like, oh,
• 1:16:28
  Speaker 1: this is who you really are, and that's not the case.
• 1:16:31
  Speaker 1: And I think everyone that knows me knows that that's
• 1:16:32
  Speaker 1: not the case at all. Um, I really have nothing
• 1:16:34
  Speaker 1: to hide. I've always been pretty open and honest with
• 1:16:37
  Speaker 1: everything going on with me. Um, So I guess it
• 1:16:41
  Speaker 1: was just frustrating having a situation like that that was
• 1:16:46
  Speaker 1: very misconstrued, be so public and then having people like
• 1:16:48
  Speaker 1: jump to these conclusions about me that weren't necessarily true.
• 1:16:52
  Speaker 1: So we were talking about how there are certain stories
• 1:16:56
  Speaker 1: out there that the full story isn't out there, and
• 1:16:59
  Speaker 1: you need to choose between whether or not you want
• 1:17:01
  Speaker 1: to reveal it or just let it go wet, and
• 1:17:04
  Speaker 1: it was It's so hard because I had moments where
• 1:17:07
  Speaker 1: I'm like, should I just put it out there? But
• 1:17:10
  Speaker 1: you there's just times where you can't win because either
• 1:17:13
  Speaker 1: you can put your story out there and people are
• 1:17:15
  Speaker 1: going to be like you're making an excuse or you're lying,
• 1:17:21
  Speaker 1: or I I think something else really happened, or you're
• 1:17:25
  Speaker 1: like throwing somebody else under the bus, and it just
• 1:17:29
  Speaker 1: wasn't worth it. So my approach to it was just
• 1:17:32
  Speaker 1: to kind of like let it be and move on
• 1:17:34
  Speaker 1: from it. And it was really hard. That was probably
• 1:17:36
  Speaker 1: the hardest thing not to talk about, just because it
• 1:17:38
  Speaker 1: was like affecting my life so much. Um. But yeah,
• 1:17:41
  Speaker 1: it's exactly one of those situations like when you break
• 1:17:43
  Speaker 1: up with someone, you're like, I want everyone to know
• 1:17:44
  Speaker 1: the truth. It was like the same thing. I'm like,
• 1:17:46
  Speaker 1: I wish everyone could just know. But there's just certain
• 1:17:49
  Speaker 1: things and I think I'm pretty open and honest about
• 1:17:52
  Speaker 1: a lot of things with like my followers, Like I said,
• 1:17:55
  Speaker 1: I have nothing to hide, But that was just one
• 1:17:57
  Speaker 1: of those things where I just kind of had to
• 1:17:58
  Speaker 1: like do what was best, and I think, you know,
• 1:18:03
  Speaker 1: what was best was just kind of leaving it. I don't.
• 1:18:06
  Speaker 1: I don't know how to communicate this really well, so
• 1:18:10
  Speaker 1: just deal with me, and if you don't get it,
• 1:18:12
  Speaker 1: we'll just ask me a couple of questions. But it
• 1:18:15
  Speaker 1: feels like in life, you can do a lot of
• 1:18:20
  Speaker 1: really great things and we're all going to make a
• 1:18:23
  Speaker 1: lot of really bad mistakes. That's just life. We're gonna
• 1:18:26
  Speaker 1: fail and we're gonna succeed, and we're gonna fail and
• 1:18:28
  Speaker 1: we're gonna succeed. We're gonna keep failing and hopefully we
• 1:18:31
  Speaker 1: succeed or do things good more than we do bad.
• 1:18:34
  Speaker 1: But it feels like I don't I mean, I didn't
• 1:18:38
  Speaker 1: live two years ago, so I can't compare. But it
• 1:18:40
  Speaker 1: feels like right now, people are waiting to jump in
• 1:18:45
  Speaker 1: celebration on people who fail or fall, and I think
• 1:18:50
  Speaker 1: that's a dangerous perspective for one reason. And then I
• 1:18:54
  Speaker 1: have a question that follows us up and this is
• 1:18:56
  Speaker 1: my my point, Because we're all going to fail and
• 1:18:59
  Speaker 1: we're all going to fall, and if that is just life,
• 1:19:04
  Speaker 1: then how often are we going to be celebrating other
• 1:19:06
  Speaker 1: people's dark times, the times that they're in the valley
• 1:19:10
  Speaker 1: and instead and you know, as as a believer and
• 1:19:15
  Speaker 1: in Jesus, you know, and instead of lifting people up
• 1:19:18
  Speaker 1: when they're down and meeting people when they're where they're at,
• 1:19:22
  Speaker 1: it feels like we're trying to push everybody to a
• 1:19:24
  Speaker 1: balanced level, which is ultimately where we're at our weakest.
• 1:19:30
  Speaker 1: I want to know then, for you, if that's what
• 1:19:32
  Speaker 1: it felt like, how do you handle being in that
• 1:19:38
  Speaker 1: season of life where it feels like the masses are
• 1:19:41
  Speaker 1: jumping on top of you and celebration or just support
• 1:19:46
  Speaker 1: of something that's hard? Yeah, I mean, I think this
• 1:19:51
  Speaker 1: just it's one of those situations that I think when
• 1:19:55
  Speaker 1: you follow someone on social media, you watch them on
• 1:19:57
  Speaker 1: reality TV, you're just seeing a certain part of their life.
• 1:19:59
  Speaker 1: For I mean, everybody's life on Instagram looks perfect, and
• 1:20:03
  Speaker 1: I think that's why people are so quick to jump
• 1:20:05
  Speaker 1: on somebody when they fail, because it's like, oh, like
• 1:20:09
  Speaker 1: I caught them at a moment where like it wasn't
• 1:20:11
  Speaker 1: perfect or I think that's kind of what it's like.
• 1:20:14
  Speaker 1: You know, everyone's life looks amazing on Instagram. Everyone's showing
• 1:20:17
  Speaker 1: their highlight reel, and so I think that's why people
• 1:20:19
  Speaker 1: are just so quick to, like you said, celebrate when
• 1:20:23
  Speaker 1: somebody is down. Um. And that's definitely what it felt like.
• 1:20:26
  Speaker 1: And it was frustrating, it was hard. It was honestly
• 1:20:28
  Speaker 1: probably one of the hardest things that I've dealt with ever. Um.
• 1:20:33
  Speaker 1: But like I said, I mean, I like, I know
• 1:20:34
  Speaker 1: who I am. Everyone close to me knows who I am. UM,
• 1:20:38
  Speaker 1: And I got through it and I learned a lot
• 1:20:41
  Speaker 1: from that whole experience. Um. But I think learning how
• 1:20:44
  Speaker 1: to handle that situation was like one of the hardest
• 1:20:47
  Speaker 1: things that I've ever dealt with because you just can't win,
• 1:20:50
  Speaker 1: you know, and you at the end of the day,
• 1:20:52
  Speaker 1: you have to just worry about yourself and take care
• 1:20:54
  Speaker 1: of yourself. And we all care what other people think,
• 1:20:58
  Speaker 1: you know, we try not to but we do, especially
• 1:21:00
  Speaker 1: when you're being attacked and on social media and news
• 1:21:03
  Speaker 1: articles or whatever it is. Um. But I think I
• 1:21:06
  Speaker 1: really just tried to focus on myself and you know
• 1:21:10
  Speaker 1: how I was feeling and the people close to me
• 1:21:12
  Speaker 1: were feeling. So it was also hard for my family, UM,
• 1:21:15
  Speaker 1: and I tried not to focus on everyone else so much,
• 1:21:18
  Speaker 1: and I think that really helped. How long did it
• 1:21:20
  Speaker 1: take you to feel like life was normal again? And
• 1:21:24
  Speaker 1: how much stronger do you think you are for going
• 1:21:27
  Speaker 1: through that media appearance crisis? Yeah. I mean, like I said,
• 1:21:32
  Speaker 1: there's a lot of things that I can't say, but
• 1:21:34
  Speaker 1: it's not like that's a kind of a situation that
• 1:21:36
  Speaker 1: I'll ever go through again. Like it was one time thing.
• 1:21:39
  Speaker 1: It was crazy, Um, I would say life was very
• 1:21:43
  Speaker 1: different for seen in September. I would say probably till
• 1:21:47
  Speaker 1: like around the New year. I mean, things were pretty
• 1:21:50
  Speaker 1: different for like a few months. It was hard, um,
• 1:21:54
  Speaker 1: But after that, yeah, Like, I mean, I think it
• 1:21:56
  Speaker 1: definitely made me stronger. It made me kind of like
• 1:22:00
  Speaker 1: I don't know, it's so weird, but every time I
• 1:22:02
  Speaker 1: go through something hard, it just like makes you in
• 1:22:03
  Speaker 1: a way more confident because you've realized, like oh, I
• 1:22:06
  Speaker 1: can get through this, like their situations where you think
• 1:22:09
  Speaker 1: would like crush you and you're like, oh, I'm still fine.
• 1:22:11
  Speaker 1: So it kind of gave me like this confidence and
• 1:22:15
  Speaker 1: I learned a lot about myself and um, yeah, I
• 1:22:18
  Speaker 1: mean I feel I feel good about it now. But
• 1:22:21
  Speaker 1: obviously it was not an ideal situation. So yeah, you've
• 1:22:24
  Speaker 1: had Speaking of ideal situations, you've had a couple of
• 1:22:27
  Speaker 1: things come up. Um, and one is this the hacker
• 1:22:30
  Speaker 1: situation that you've made very public and um, for those
• 1:22:35
  Speaker 1: who have no clue what this is, can you take
• 1:22:37
  Speaker 1: a second before we ask a follow up questions on it?
• 1:22:39
  Speaker 1: What exactly is going on here? So back last yeah,
• 1:22:44
  Speaker 1: this the like the last year. Someone actually told me.
• 1:22:47
  Speaker 1: I never believed in like mercury is in retrograde until
• 1:22:50
  Speaker 1: this past year. I was like, wow, this is a
• 1:22:52
  Speaker 1: real thing. Um. So I was pretty open about it.
• 1:22:57
  Speaker 1: But I got like a breast augmentation back in February
• 1:23:02
  Speaker 1: and I went in from my surgery all of that.
• 1:23:06
  Speaker 1: It's been a while since then, and randomly one night
• 1:23:09
  Speaker 1: it was beginning or middle of March, I think, and
• 1:23:12
  Speaker 1: I was sleeping and I don't know why, it was
• 1:23:14
  Speaker 1: like you're weird feeling in New York, Like, I just
• 1:23:16
  Speaker 1: had this feeling of anxiety, Like woke up in the
• 1:23:18
  Speaker 1: middle of the night and I was like sweating, and
• 1:23:20
  Speaker 1: I was like, I just had anxiety for some reason.
• 1:23:22
  Speaker 1: So I couldn't fall back asleep, so I just grabbed
• 1:23:24
  Speaker 1: my phone. I opened up my email, and I have
• 1:23:26
  Speaker 1: emails from this person and the name was the name
• 1:23:29
  Speaker 1: of my doctor, but it wasn't his email address, and
• 1:23:33
  Speaker 1: it was basically an email saying that this guy had
• 1:23:35
  Speaker 1: hacked into my doctor's database. He stole these photos of me,
• 1:23:39
  Speaker 1: and he was trying to get money. He's like, if
• 1:23:40
  Speaker 1: I don't get this money, I'm going to send it,
• 1:23:42
  Speaker 1: and then I send your photos, and he attached all
• 1:23:44
  Speaker 1: the photos to the email of me from the doctor's office. Yeah,
• 1:23:48
  Speaker 1: because I know that there's like a scam going right
• 1:23:50
  Speaker 1: now where people will say, oh, I have these photos,
• 1:23:52
  Speaker 1: but they don't actually have them, so and I thought
• 1:23:55
  Speaker 1: at first, I was like, this is a scamp, but
• 1:23:56
  Speaker 1: then he actually had all the photos attached down there,
• 1:23:59
  Speaker 1: and so I thought it was like just like a
• 1:24:02
  Speaker 1: bad dream or like a nightmare. And um the next
• 1:24:06
  Speaker 1: day ended up calling my doctor. All these people they
• 1:24:08
  Speaker 1: had a bunch of people, the police, FBI where they're
• 1:24:14
  Speaker 1: So I guess he hacked into my doctor's database. So
• 1:24:16
  Speaker 1: we got photos of a lot of his patients. But
• 1:24:20
  Speaker 1: I think he just saw me on his website and
• 1:24:22
  Speaker 1: saw that I had somewhat of a following, so he
• 1:24:25
  Speaker 1: decided to target me because I thought it would be
• 1:24:26
  Speaker 1: more effective doctors. UM. So yeah, Basically he was like,
• 1:24:32
  Speaker 1: you have three days to either like get me the
• 1:24:34
  Speaker 1: money or I'm going to start sending your photos out.
• 1:24:37
  Speaker 1: So and then there was also no proof like say
• 1:24:39
  Speaker 1: we give this guy the money, Like, how do we
• 1:24:41
  Speaker 1: know he's even going to delete the photos. We'll probably
• 1:24:43
  Speaker 1: just keep asking for more. So it was just pointless.
• 1:24:46
  Speaker 1: And started setting the photos to everybody that I followed.
• 1:24:50
  Speaker 1: UM sent him to people that I have worked with,
• 1:24:52
  Speaker 1: sent him to like my friend's boyfriends. He was sending
• 1:24:55
  Speaker 1: oh yeah, yeah, he sent him out to like a
• 1:24:57
  Speaker 1: ton of people. So at first he's like, I'm going
• 1:24:59
  Speaker 1: to start the or stay by sending him to five people.
• 1:25:01
  Speaker 1: Then the next day, IM gonna sent him to ten.
• 1:25:02
  Speaker 1: Next I'm gonna sent him to twenties. So after two weeks,
• 1:25:05
  Speaker 1: all these people started getting it, and the more people
• 1:25:06
  Speaker 1: he was sending him to, the more people I had
• 1:25:09
  Speaker 1: texting me every day like hey I just got this
• 1:25:11
  Speaker 1: weird message from someone. I just want to let you know,
• 1:25:15
  Speaker 1: or people were calling me. So eventually it just got
• 1:25:17
  Speaker 1: so exhausting telling the story that I was like, I'm
• 1:25:19
  Speaker 1: just going to address it publicly. That way, this guy
• 1:25:21
  Speaker 1: hopefully sees that like he doesn't have this power over
• 1:25:25
  Speaker 1: me and stops and actually kind of actually worked. So job. Yeah,
• 1:25:29
  Speaker 1: I was glad I addressed it, but it was hard,
• 1:25:32
  Speaker 1: and the pictures haven't ever leaked, no, because luckily everyone
• 1:25:35
  Speaker 1: that he sent them to are people that I follow,
• 1:25:37
  Speaker 1: and I mean everyone's been respect called out. The bully.
• 1:25:43
  Speaker 1: He didn't make his move. He never like posted them online.
• 1:25:47
  Speaker 1: I don't even know like where he would post them,
• 1:25:50
  Speaker 1: you know what I mean. They're medical photos, Like it
• 1:25:52
  Speaker 1: wasn't like, yeah, they're not trust me, They're very far
• 1:25:55
  Speaker 1: from sexy. I'm like, this isn't It's not like I
• 1:25:58
  Speaker 1: did anything wrong. So that's why I was over all
• 1:26:00
  Speaker 1: the threats every single day because I was like, I
• 1:26:01
  Speaker 1: can't come out, like what's the like if it's embarrassing
• 1:26:05
  Speaker 1: for me or it sucks or it's violating, but it
• 1:26:07
  Speaker 1: was like, I didn't do anything wrong. So yeah, you
• 1:26:10
  Speaker 1: got some flack for doing that. Inst the story in
• 1:26:14
  Speaker 1: which you revealed the hacker with the dog filter on, Yeah,
• 1:26:17
  Speaker 1: why do you think much? I was like shocked. I
• 1:26:21
  Speaker 1: was like you, guys, honestly, I was crying. I was
• 1:26:24
  Speaker 1: not expecting to cry that much. And it's funny because
• 1:26:26
  Speaker 1: I actually started filming it without it, but I I
• 1:26:30
  Speaker 1: wasn't cover my face right now because I want to know.
• 1:26:33
  Speaker 1: I'm saying something very excited made me feel, made me
• 1:26:36
  Speaker 1: feel better, and yeah, I just think it made me
• 1:26:40
  Speaker 1: look cuter when I was ugly crying. So that's when
• 1:26:43
  Speaker 1: I went with the job filter. For you've been through this,
• 1:26:46
  Speaker 1: and man, this is a scary situation, and I hope
• 1:26:50
  Speaker 1: I mean really scary. But for anybody that happens to
• 1:26:52
  Speaker 1: go through this, what would be your advice? What have
• 1:26:55
  Speaker 1: you learned on the right steps to take if somebody
• 1:26:58
  Speaker 1: were to do this to somebody listening? Um, I mean
• 1:27:04
  Speaker 1: I was so stressed for like a solid month over it,
• 1:27:06
  Speaker 1: and I think the one thing that I learned from
• 1:27:10
  Speaker 1: it is you can't stress every single day and have
• 1:27:12
  Speaker 1: anxiety about stuff that you can't control and unfortunately there
• 1:27:16
  Speaker 1: are bad people out there, and UM, it's not an
• 1:27:20
  Speaker 1: ideal situation, but I just think you need to not
• 1:27:24
  Speaker 1: let somebody ever have that power over you. I think
• 1:27:26
  Speaker 1: being blackmailed every single day was the hard part. So
• 1:27:29
  Speaker 1: I'm really glad that I did what I did and
• 1:27:30
  Speaker 1: I kind of took the power over it saying like
• 1:27:33
  Speaker 1: this is what's going on. Um, I think that really helped.
• 1:27:35
  Speaker 1: So I guess that would be my advice is just
• 1:27:37
  Speaker 1: not to let someone have that power over you, no
• 1:27:39
  Speaker 1: matter what the situation is. Never let someone hold something
• 1:27:41
  Speaker 1: over your head because that's stressful and it's out of
• 1:27:43
  Speaker 1: your control. So I think that really helped. So the
• 1:27:50
  Speaker 1: whole like month that I was dealing with the hacker situation,
• 1:27:54
  Speaker 1: I was really just freaked out because I had like
• 1:27:56
  Speaker 1: the FBI at my house, the police, like I lived
• 1:27:59
  Speaker 1: with the kids. I didn't know what other information this
• 1:28:00
  Speaker 1: person had. The he had my address, my phone number,
• 1:28:02
  Speaker 1: you know, he had your address like that, and it
• 1:28:06
  Speaker 1: was it was before we moved, so I was like,
• 1:28:08
  Speaker 1: I don't think he has my new one. But it's
• 1:28:09
  Speaker 1: still just freaked me out because I don't know, Like
• 1:28:11
  Speaker 1: I'm like, did this person hack into my phone, like
• 1:28:13
  Speaker 1: can you read my text? Like I didn't know what
• 1:28:15
  Speaker 1: this person could do, you know. Um, So I was
• 1:28:18
  Speaker 1: just really paranoid. And one night, my sister was sleeping
• 1:28:21
  Speaker 1: over and she was using my cellphone charger and I
• 1:28:24
  Speaker 1: was sleeping upstairs and my phone was dying, and I
• 1:28:28
  Speaker 1: because of the situation going on with all the hacker
• 1:28:30
  Speaker 1: and everything, I was like, I don't really want to
• 1:28:32
  Speaker 1: sleep with my phone dead in case of an emergency,
• 1:28:33
  Speaker 1: so like, I'm just going to run down to my
• 1:28:35
  Speaker 1: car really quick and charge my phone. So I go
• 1:28:38
  Speaker 1: down to my car and it wouldn't charge my phone.
• 1:28:40
  Speaker 1: Let's turn my car on. So I opened my garage
• 1:28:42
  Speaker 1: and I had this guy that was like sitting in
• 1:28:44
  Speaker 1: a prius outside my house, and I don't know why.
• 1:28:46
  Speaker 1: It freaked me out. I'm like, why is this guy?
• 1:28:47
  Speaker 1: He was literally parked in my driveway, so I'm like,
• 1:28:49
  Speaker 1: why is this person parked in my driveway? So I'm
• 1:28:51
  Speaker 1: like staring at him. I turned my car on and
• 1:28:54
  Speaker 1: he's just like staring at me. It was super ready
• 1:28:57
  Speaker 1: just parked there. So then I pretended like I was
• 1:28:58
  Speaker 1: going to back out the guy out of his car,
• 1:29:01
  Speaker 1: So I'm like just being I was just super paranoid.
• 1:29:04
  Speaker 1: It just is kind of funny. So this guy gets
• 1:29:06
  Speaker 1: out of his car. He goes to grab something from
• 1:29:07
  Speaker 1: the trunk, and like, oh my god, is this guy
• 1:29:09
  Speaker 1: grabbing like a gun? Like what's happening is he's going
• 1:29:11
  Speaker 1: to break in her house. He grabs a banana out
• 1:29:14
  Speaker 1: of his trunk and he starts eating a banana in
• 1:29:17
  Speaker 1: his front seat. So I'm like, why is this guy
• 1:29:19
  Speaker 1: eating a banana in front of my garage? So then
• 1:29:22
  Speaker 1: he starts to pull away, and so I don't know
• 1:29:24
  Speaker 1: what was wrong with me. I was just going through
• 1:29:27
  Speaker 1: a lot guys. I decided to I decided to like
• 1:29:31
  Speaker 1: chase this guy around my neighborhood at night, and so
• 1:29:36
  Speaker 1: I was following him because he was like, just parked
• 1:29:38
  Speaker 1: in front of my house. He wouldn't leave. Long story short,
• 1:29:41
  Speaker 1: I was freaked out. He pulls back in front of
• 1:29:43
  Speaker 1: my house again because I did a circle, he didn't
• 1:29:45
  Speaker 1: see me. So I was following him. He's back in
• 1:29:47
  Speaker 1: front of my house. So I parked the car, run inside.
• 1:29:50
  Speaker 1: I go, wake up Bobby. I'm like, there is somebody
• 1:29:53
  Speaker 1: stalking our house. As I'm telling him, someone knocks on
• 1:29:57
  Speaker 1: our door. Our front door, and I was so freaked out.
• 1:30:00
  Speaker 1: I called nine one one and the police came and
• 1:30:03
  Speaker 1: everything and anyways, nothing happened. I feel really bad. I
• 1:30:07
  Speaker 1: didn't know my neighbors, like down the street we're having
• 1:30:08
  Speaker 1: a party. And he was like, I'm pretty sure that
• 1:30:11
  Speaker 1: was just like a lift driver who was like waiting
• 1:30:12
  Speaker 1: for someone, like he got hungry and like at a
• 1:30:14
  Speaker 1: banana but like it's so embarrassing. But I was just
• 1:30:18
  Speaker 1: like so freaked out. Okay, I was like Bobby was
• 1:30:24
  Speaker 1: scared too. It wasn't just me, like it sounds like
• 1:30:26
  Speaker 1: a crazy person, but everybody someone knocked on our door,
• 1:30:28
  Speaker 1: and then when we went down there, there was nobody there.
• 1:30:30
  Speaker 1: How did Bobby deal with the whole hacker situation? Like
• 1:30:32
  Speaker 1: emotionally with you? Emotionally honestly not very supportive. And I
• 1:30:38
  Speaker 1: think that was really hard for me too, because I
• 1:30:40
  Speaker 1: was really he he was just very black and white
• 1:30:44
  Speaker 1: about it, like he was like, you need to follow
• 1:30:46
  Speaker 1: a lawsuit against your doctor, and I get it, but
• 1:30:51
  Speaker 1: also like it I don't need the money that by
• 1:30:54
  Speaker 1: my doctor is so sweet, And he was really stressed
• 1:30:56
  Speaker 1: about the situation too, like he felt terrible. Um, we
• 1:31:00
  Speaker 1: just had different views about it, and at the end
• 1:31:01
  Speaker 1: of the day, like I didn't care about a lawsuit,
• 1:31:03
  Speaker 1: Like I just wanted like a little sympathy, I guess,
• 1:31:05
  Speaker 1: and like emotional support, and um, it just wasn't really there.
• 1:31:10
  Speaker 1: So yeah, I'm glad the situation seems to have subsided.
• 1:31:17
  Speaker 1: We're gonna take a break here and when we come back,
• 1:31:20
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna have my favorite time of the In Depth
• 1:31:23
  Speaker 1: Podcast with Amanda, where Amanda and I sit down and
• 1:31:26
  Speaker 1: talk about the cool things she's doing, what's coming up
• 1:31:29
  Speaker 1: in her life. And then Ashley is going to have
• 1:31:31
  Speaker 1: her favorite time on the In Depth Podcast with Amanda,
• 1:31:33
  Speaker 1: and she's gonna rapid fire some questions and we're gonna,
• 1:31:36
  Speaker 1: you know, Amanda before we head out of here in
• 1:31:38
  Speaker 1: a really fun way. So stay tuned, listen up. We'll
• 1:31:41
  Speaker 1: be back in just a second. So, Amanda, you've we've
• 1:31:48
  Speaker 1: now walked through your timeline over the last a few years. Um,
• 1:31:52
  Speaker 1: and it's a it's a lot has happened in the
• 1:31:54
  Speaker 1: last few years. It's right now. Recently, you're launching a
• 1:31:58
  Speaker 1: few products and jacks that I think you're super excited about.
• 1:32:04
  Speaker 1: And we were missed without allowing you the space and
• 1:32:06
  Speaker 1: the time and work site about him to share. Let's
• 1:32:09
  Speaker 1: start with the book tell us a little bit more.
• 1:32:12
  Speaker 1: We've mentioned it earlier in the podcast. I contributed to
• 1:32:16
  Speaker 1: it and actually did as well, Wow, look at us
• 1:32:21
  Speaker 1: represent um yeah, tell tell whatever you want our listeners
• 1:32:26
  Speaker 1: to know about your book. Just shut out there. So
• 1:32:29
  Speaker 1: it's like a little all over the place. They have
• 1:32:31
  Speaker 1: a lot of people ask me what it's about, and
• 1:32:33
  Speaker 1: it's kind of an autobiography. It's a little bit about me.
• 1:32:35
  Speaker 1: It's also just kind of like a self help book
• 1:32:37
  Speaker 1: of like all the things that I've learned from certain experiences.
• 1:32:40
  Speaker 1: It's kind of cute, like in every chapter there's like
• 1:32:42
  Speaker 1: the roses and the thorn, so like the pros and
• 1:32:44
  Speaker 1: the cons of like each situation and um yes, um
• 1:32:50
  Speaker 1: so I think I think people will really enjoy it.
• 1:32:51
  Speaker 1: It's kind of like a fun read. There's like everyone
• 1:32:54
  Speaker 1: keeps asking me like, oh, is it juicy? Is their tea?
• 1:32:56
  Speaker 1: And I'm like, there is, But that's kind of wasn't
• 1:32:59
  Speaker 1: the purpose of it? And I probably should say that
• 1:33:01
  Speaker 1: there is. I feel like people will be more to
• 1:33:03
  Speaker 1: read it, but and there is, for sure, But I
• 1:33:05
  Speaker 1: just think I anything that I said, it was like
• 1:33:08
  Speaker 1: only if it was useful, Like, oh I learned from this,
• 1:33:11
  Speaker 1: Like there's really not anything in there that's just like
• 1:33:12
  Speaker 1: irrelevant just to like bash upbody. Yeah, so but I
• 1:33:16
  Speaker 1: mean it is, it's good. It's it was fun to write,
• 1:33:19
  Speaker 1: and I've been writing it for like the last two
• 1:33:21
  Speaker 1: and a half years and it's finally coming out. What
• 1:33:26
  Speaker 1: was that? What ages of people would benefit? Gosh, I
• 1:33:29
  Speaker 1: think anyone from like high school too, you know, any
• 1:33:35
  Speaker 1: age I guess, um, it's like pretty universal. At first,
• 1:33:40
  Speaker 1: I was like, you know, I really want to write
• 1:33:41
  Speaker 1: something for single moms, but it's definitely not just for moms.
• 1:33:44
  Speaker 1: It's for anyone. So yeah, it's really good. I'm excited
• 1:33:49
  Speaker 1: for you. It comes out September beginning of September, and
• 1:33:54
  Speaker 1: it's a it's called now Exhibiting Roses, and it's really cute.
• 1:33:57
  Speaker 1: There's like a little chapter so been An actually keep
• 1:34:00
  Speaker 1: saying that they're in it, and there's like a little
• 1:34:02
  Speaker 1: chapter that I had stories like funny for State, stories
• 1:34:05
  Speaker 1: from other people that were on the on the show,
• 1:34:07
  Speaker 1: and it's pretty funny chapter. So that's why I like it.
• 1:34:09
  Speaker 1: I think it's like a really easy read, like you
• 1:34:11
  Speaker 1: can hang out at the beach and read it like
• 1:34:12
  Speaker 1: it's fun. Um. So yeah, I think people really like it.
• 1:34:16
  Speaker 1: So it's not just a tell all but you have
• 1:34:17
  Speaker 1: like cute two stories and yes, it's like fun. Yeah,
• 1:34:20
  Speaker 1: don't make you laugh. Are you doing a whole book tour? Yeah,
• 1:34:23
  Speaker 1: a few places, not like a full one, but going
• 1:34:26
  Speaker 1: to a few places to look for Amanda Stanton author
• 1:34:28
  Speaker 1: Amanda Stanton showing up in your local neighborhood signing books,
• 1:34:33
  Speaker 1: talking life and talking to roses and thorns on top
• 1:34:36
  Speaker 1: of the book and talk on top of being a mom.
• 1:34:39
  Speaker 1: You've started a new clothing line. Yeah, I'm fairly unfamiliar
• 1:34:43
  Speaker 1: with this. I don't shop there. I'm pretty familiar because
• 1:34:47
  Speaker 1: everything is so cute. You truly designed pieces that you
• 1:34:52
  Speaker 1: wear from like Revolve and stuff, but you made them
• 1:34:55
  Speaker 1: your own and they're they're so signature to you and
• 1:35:00
  Speaker 1: I love them and they're so cute and you're doing
• 1:35:02
  Speaker 1: so well with them, Like every piece soil sells out
• 1:35:04
  Speaker 1: right away. Yeah. So it's actually my favorite project that
• 1:35:07
  Speaker 1: I've ever worked on before. It's like something I've always
• 1:35:09
  Speaker 1: wanted to do. So it's been really fun um and
• 1:35:13
  Speaker 1: I love the kids are like a huge part of it,
• 1:35:15
  Speaker 1: which is so nice because they're super picky with their clothes.
• 1:35:18
  Speaker 1: So every time we're like designing a new collection, they'll
• 1:35:20
  Speaker 1: help me and they'll tell me what they like, what
• 1:35:22
  Speaker 1: colors they like. Kids is my little fit model, she's
• 1:35:25
  Speaker 1: my model on my website. Um So they kind of
• 1:35:27
  Speaker 1: feel like it's their thing too. So it's been really
• 1:35:29
  Speaker 1: fun and we love like dressing up and fashion, and
• 1:35:33
  Speaker 1: it's been my favorite project so far. So what's the
• 1:35:36
  Speaker 1: motivation behind it? Why? So, like, ever since the girls
• 1:35:41
  Speaker 1: were little, I just love dressing them up, and obviously
• 1:35:44
  Speaker 1: I love dressing myself up. Um So it just kind
• 1:35:46
  Speaker 1: of came from that, Like I just wanted to design
• 1:35:49
  Speaker 1: a line of things that like I loved and that
• 1:35:51
  Speaker 1: made me feel confident and wanted other people to get
• 1:35:54
  Speaker 1: to wear them. It's also pretty affordable, I think, compared
• 1:35:56
  Speaker 1: to like a lot of other brands, So I wanted
• 1:35:58
  Speaker 1: to kind of create something that was cute and made
• 1:36:01
  Speaker 1: people feel good and was also affordable, especially for like
• 1:36:04
  Speaker 1: the mommy and Me stuffs, and made some stuff in
• 1:36:06
  Speaker 1: kids sizes too. So yeah, yeah, I like the way
• 1:36:09
  Speaker 1: that you guys can be matchy. Yeah, because I feel
• 1:36:12
  Speaker 1: like sometimes like matchy clothes with your kids, like the
• 1:36:14
  Speaker 1: kids versions cute, but like the mom versions like kind
• 1:36:16
  Speaker 1: of dorky. So I just wanted to make something that
• 1:36:19
  Speaker 1: was like cute and matchy and I like that. How
• 1:36:22
  Speaker 1: did you come up with the name of the label? Uh,
• 1:36:25
  Speaker 1: there's really like no reason behind it. It's Hawaiian. It's
• 1:36:28
  Speaker 1: Lonnie the label, so it's Hawaian l A and I
• 1:36:32
  Speaker 1: the label. So it's Hawaiian for heaven. Hawai is your
• 1:36:36
  Speaker 1: favorite place. But there's really no meaning, like super meaningful
• 1:36:42
  Speaker 1: girls first. Yeah, and I just thought it flowed nicely.
• 1:36:44
  Speaker 1: So label, Yeah, Lonnie the label check it out? Where
• 1:36:49
  Speaker 1: can they? Where can all the listeners find it? Um,
• 1:36:51
  Speaker 1: so you can find it on just Lonnie the Label
• 1:36:53
  Speaker 1: dot com and then our Instagram is Lonnie the Label, Amanda,
• 1:36:58
  Speaker 1: This is my time with you, Okay, this is where
• 1:37:00
  Speaker 1: we get to dig in for a little bit. Um.
• 1:37:03
  Speaker 1: Ashley pretty much she chimes in every once in a while,
• 1:37:05
  Speaker 1: but she pretty much takes a back seat. This is
• 1:37:08
  Speaker 1: definitely his cup of tea and the next thing is
• 1:37:10
  Speaker 1: definitely mine. Um, we've learned a lot about you. I
• 1:37:14
  Speaker 1: know you're tired our listeners. I'm assuming you have listened
• 1:37:16
  Speaker 1: to this for last four days straight. Um, at this point,
• 1:37:19
  Speaker 1: they've been they've been listening in the car driving to work, pausing,
• 1:37:24
  Speaker 1: getting in car from work, starting again, so excited to
• 1:37:26
  Speaker 1: listen to what it is. No, we're so pumped. And
• 1:37:30
  Speaker 1: this is how these have been and this is why
• 1:37:32
  Speaker 1: we love these. I mean, honestly, I mean, I don't
• 1:37:34
  Speaker 1: know what you think of these in depths, but you know,
• 1:37:36
  Speaker 1: our almost famous podcast has done really well over the
• 1:37:39
  Speaker 1: last two years and it continues to grow, and it's
• 1:37:42
  Speaker 1: it's it's an awesome we love it. It's a breakdown
• 1:37:44
  Speaker 1: of the podcast. It's super light. It adds no stress
• 1:37:46
  Speaker 1: to our lives. But again, as we mentioned, like these
• 1:37:48
  Speaker 1: in depths really allow us to get into our friends better,
• 1:37:51
  Speaker 1: the other contestants better. Allows us to sit down and
• 1:37:53
  Speaker 1: just hang out and talk uh in a way that's
• 1:37:56
  Speaker 1: not threatening or we're not trying to get anything out
• 1:37:57
  Speaker 1: of anybody. Uh and our listen. I mean, these these
• 1:38:00
  Speaker 1: podcasts are beginning a ton of lestens because I think
• 1:38:03
  Speaker 1: it's enjoyable. So you're talking a lot. I think it's
• 1:38:06
  Speaker 1: fun for everybody, and we appreciate it. Um, this woman
• 1:38:09
  Speaker 1: asking you to talk a Ton though, so Amana, we've
• 1:38:12
  Speaker 1: we've got to hear your whole story, and we started
• 1:38:15
  Speaker 1: this podcast off. I mean, if you think about that,
• 1:38:17
  Speaker 1: when we just started talking in a couple of hours ago,
• 1:38:19
  Speaker 1: we were talking about these random relationships and the breakups
• 1:38:23
  Speaker 1: and in our time together on the show. But there
• 1:38:25
  Speaker 1: wasn't Amanda way before this show, um that existed that
• 1:38:30
  Speaker 1: had been through heartbreak and obviously came on the show
• 1:38:32
  Speaker 1: and in a place of pain for a second. I
• 1:38:36
  Speaker 1: just want to now kind of sum this all up,
• 1:38:38
  Speaker 1: like who were you coming into the show. I mean,
• 1:38:42
  Speaker 1: I think I'm still the same person as it was
• 1:38:44
  Speaker 1: back then. I think back then, I just, um, I
• 1:38:47
  Speaker 1: was young. I think I kind of like had this
• 1:38:50
  Speaker 1: idea of like what my life should be or what
• 1:38:52
  Speaker 1: I should be doing. And I think I've kind of
• 1:38:54
  Speaker 1: learned to balance everything and focus a little more on myself.
• 1:39:00
  Speaker 1: And I think I've had a lot of experiences over
• 1:39:03
  Speaker 1: the last couple of years that have really helped me
• 1:39:04
  Speaker 1: find myself. So I think now I'm just a little
• 1:39:06
  Speaker 1: more confident and um just kind of have a better
• 1:39:12
  Speaker 1: idea of how to balance everything. You mentioned a couple
• 1:39:14
  Speaker 1: of times that you're a kind person, you're super forgiving,
• 1:39:19
  Speaker 1: But what is it about you that you're scared of?
• 1:39:23
  Speaker 1: Like where your weaknesses lie? And where were these things
• 1:39:26
  Speaker 1: coming into the show? And then also now that sit
• 1:39:28
  Speaker 1: there that that you're fearful of, because I think it's people.
• 1:39:31
  Speaker 1: One of the things we can all relate on is
• 1:39:32
  Speaker 1: we have failures and we have fears and and even
• 1:39:36
  Speaker 1: if you are a super kind person, there's something in
• 1:39:38
  Speaker 1: there that still exists. So like, what are my weaknesses? Um, gosh,
• 1:39:47
  Speaker 1: I mean I have a few. Um, I mean this
• 1:39:50
  Speaker 1: sounds like super cliche, but I do think I like
• 1:39:54
  Speaker 1: tend to see the good in people instead of the bad.
• 1:39:57
  Speaker 1: And I kind of think that's where my relationships have
• 1:39:59
  Speaker 1: gone wrong. Is the focus too much on the good
• 1:40:01
  Speaker 1: until it's over and then I kind of take my
• 1:40:05
  Speaker 1: blinders off. But I think just in general, like I'm
• 1:40:07
  Speaker 1: a perfectionist, so I think I'm too hard on myself
• 1:40:10
  Speaker 1: a lot of the time. Um yeah, yeah, that ISID
• 1:40:17
  Speaker 1: a good enough in isaid a good answer? It's good
• 1:40:19
  Speaker 1: enough if you think it's good enough. I don't know.
• 1:40:21
  Speaker 1: I mean I have I have quite a few more,
• 1:40:23
  Speaker 1: but I think that's good. The The thing of this,
• 1:40:26
  Speaker 1: this whole process is life is is this whole thing
• 1:40:31
  Speaker 1: has helped us become something. And I think I want
• 1:40:33
  Speaker 1: to ask you, is who are you becoming? Like who
• 1:40:36
  Speaker 1: is Amanda Stanton? And who are you becoming in the future?
• 1:40:40
  Speaker 1: And now what are your dreams for yourself? Um? I
• 1:40:46
  Speaker 1: think I just kind of I'm just me, and I
• 1:40:49
  Speaker 1: think I've learned to kind of accept me. I mean,
• 1:40:53
  Speaker 1: I just have learned to kind of do what makes
• 1:40:55
  Speaker 1: me happy and do life the way that I want
• 1:40:59
  Speaker 1: to do it and of stopped thinking I need to
• 1:41:02
  Speaker 1: be doing things a certain way or be listening to
• 1:41:05
  Speaker 1: other people or what they think. I think I've kind
• 1:41:07
  Speaker 1: of learned to just kind of do my own thing
• 1:41:09
  Speaker 1: and be confident in that. And so if anything, that's
• 1:41:12
  Speaker 1: kind of what I hope to inspire other people to do,
• 1:41:14
  Speaker 1: especially like when their moms. I think there's so many
• 1:41:18
  Speaker 1: stereotypes and things that people think that you need to
• 1:41:20
  Speaker 1: be doing, and I just think that everyone should just
• 1:41:23
  Speaker 1: really do what makes them happy because life short and
• 1:41:25
  Speaker 1: I think it's important to be happy and just believe
• 1:41:28
  Speaker 1: in yourself and know that you're a good person and
• 1:41:30
  Speaker 1: not really care what everyone else thinks. And I think
• 1:41:33
  Speaker 1: one thing that I've learned throughout all of this is like,
• 1:41:36
  Speaker 1: of course everybody knows they get a lot of haters
• 1:41:38
  Speaker 1: and judgment, but I never really change what I'm doing.
• 1:41:40
  Speaker 1: It kind of continue to do the same thing. Um.
• 1:41:44
  Speaker 1: So yeah, I think I just I'm just happy and
• 1:41:47
  Speaker 1: I want everyone to be happy. Has there been a
• 1:41:49
  Speaker 1: moment in this whole thing that I mean and it
• 1:41:52
  Speaker 1: feels weird? I don't want to say this whole thing
• 1:41:54
  Speaker 1: because it feels weird to sum up the last six
• 1:41:56
  Speaker 1: years as your life and you've had a life way before.
• 1:41:59
  Speaker 1: Is there been a moment in life where you felt
• 1:42:01
  Speaker 1: like you're getting off that track of that whatever you
• 1:42:04
  Speaker 1: wanted to become and however you were becoming that it
• 1:42:07
  Speaker 1: felt like you've derailed and there's no place to turn.
• 1:42:11
  Speaker 1: I don't really think I've ever felt like there's no
• 1:42:12
  Speaker 1: place to turn, but I've definitely had ups and downs.
• 1:42:15
  Speaker 1: I mean we just talked about one, like the whole
• 1:42:17
  Speaker 1: Vega situation was like a huge thing for me. Um,
• 1:42:22
  Speaker 1: obviously when I've gone through breakups, that was a big
• 1:42:24
  Speaker 1: thing for me. Just things like life doesn't always go
• 1:42:26
  Speaker 1: as planned or how you expect it. And I think
• 1:42:28
  Speaker 1: there's been multiple times throughout the past five years where
• 1:42:32
  Speaker 1: I've totally thought my life was going in one direction
• 1:42:34
  Speaker 1: and then it doesn't. Um. But I've never really felt
• 1:42:37
  Speaker 1: like super unmotivated, like oh, like life's over. But there's
• 1:42:40
  Speaker 1: definitely been times where I've had to like change things
• 1:42:43
  Speaker 1: around a little. So what is that motivation that? I mean,
• 1:42:46
  Speaker 1: how do you continue to move forward? Um? I mean
• 1:42:51
  Speaker 1: I obviously, like sounds cliche, but I have my kids,
• 1:42:54
  Speaker 1: so I always have to like be happy and be
• 1:42:57
  Speaker 1: the best version of myself for them. But I think also, um,
• 1:43:01
  Speaker 1: I've just kind of learned to be a little bit
• 1:43:03
  Speaker 1: more adaptable. Like I'm happy if I find somebody and
• 1:43:08
  Speaker 1: I get married in two years and have another baby.
• 1:43:10
  Speaker 1: And I'm also fine if I'm single for the rest
• 1:43:12
  Speaker 1: of my life. Like at the end of the day,
• 1:43:14
  Speaker 1: like i think, I'm just good no matter what. And
• 1:43:16
  Speaker 1: I've just kind of accepted that. So let's just close
• 1:43:20
  Speaker 1: here with a couple. I want to have a couple
• 1:43:21
  Speaker 1: of questions about your kids. Who are who are they becoming?
• 1:43:24
  Speaker 1: Like what are your dreams for them? Um? So I
• 1:43:27
  Speaker 1: mean I'm biased. I just think they're like the best, cutest,
• 1:43:32
  Speaker 1: smartest little humans in the entire world. Um, And I
• 1:43:35
  Speaker 1: tell them all the time, like, you guys can do
• 1:43:37
  Speaker 1: whatever you want. Um, you guys can be anything that
• 1:43:40
  Speaker 1: you want to be. Kids is like such an entertainer.
• 1:43:42
  Speaker 1: I can see her doing something like in the entertainment industry.
• 1:43:44
  Speaker 1: But at the end of the day, I mean, she
• 1:43:46
  Speaker 1: can do whatever she wants. Um. And Charlie is just
• 1:43:49
  Speaker 1: so sweet. I mean, both of them are so different,
• 1:43:51
  Speaker 1: but they both are just so special in their own ways. UM.
• 1:43:54
  Speaker 1: So I'm really proud of them. Charlie starting kindergarten this year.
• 1:43:57
  Speaker 1: So it's I always say the best part about being
• 1:44:00
  Speaker 1: a mom's like seeing your kids grow up to be
• 1:44:02
  Speaker 1: like their own people and kind of develop their own
• 1:44:05
  Speaker 1: personalities and interests and all of that stuff. So, um, yeah,
• 1:44:09
  Speaker 1: they're really Cute's awesome. Yeah, Amanda, great job. Thank you
• 1:44:14
  Speaker 1: for coming on the podcast today. I'm gonna pass this
• 1:44:15
  Speaker 1: over to Ashtuff close out uh in a really fun no. Um, Amanda,
• 1:44:23
  Speaker 1: you uh you definitely. We we love to sum up
• 1:44:27
  Speaker 1: these podcasts, uh with those questions and a little bit
• 1:44:31
  Speaker 1: of notes. But you really are becoming, uh somebody that
• 1:44:34
  Speaker 1: I think is confident. We see that and also from
• 1:44:37
  Speaker 1: from our perspective and we get to see a little
• 1:44:40
  Speaker 1: bit more than most is you are a great mom.
• 1:44:42
  Speaker 1: And uh, there's some things in life that I would
• 1:44:45
  Speaker 1: say that we need to listen to the people that
• 1:44:47
  Speaker 1: are critiquing us, but those are typically the people that
• 1:44:48
  Speaker 1: are in the arena with us or our family members
• 1:44:50
  Speaker 1: and friends. People from now soide don't know. But you
• 1:44:53
  Speaker 1: as a mom is something that I think not only
• 1:44:57
  Speaker 1: adorable because I think your friendship with them is incredib
• 1:45:00
  Speaker 1: will have a good friendship with my parents, but just
• 1:45:02
  Speaker 1: the way that you your parents as well. So um, yeah,
• 1:45:06
  Speaker 1: thanks for being with us today, Ashley. Take it away,
• 1:45:09
  Speaker 1: all right, So here's your speed round. We'll try to
• 1:45:11
  Speaker 1: keep it as like you know, as phrases, got it.
• 1:45:14
  Speaker 1: But the first one I have is in a phrase,
• 1:45:17
  Speaker 1: how frustrating is it when people say you don't have
• 1:45:21
  Speaker 1: a job or go get a job? Yeah, it's really frustrating.
• 1:45:25
  Speaker 1: I mean, it can't get more annoying, right, yeah, because
• 1:45:28
  Speaker 1: you can't explain it every single time. You can't explain
• 1:45:30
  Speaker 1: what you do, probably because there's just like a whole
• 1:45:32
  Speaker 1: bunch of different things and they would never understand how
• 1:45:34
  Speaker 1: time consuming it is. It's frustrating, it's annoying. It's just
• 1:45:39
  Speaker 1: really a sound. It's like, actually, that feels like more
• 1:45:42
  Speaker 1: of like a personal question to Amanda for yourself, because
• 1:45:45
  Speaker 1: I though I absolutely know that you can relate. I
• 1:45:50
  Speaker 1: can feel the anger building up on this side of
• 1:45:52
  Speaker 1: the table. But do you not feel the same? Yeah?
• 1:45:57
  Speaker 1: But do you even do do it? Like you don't
• 1:46:00
  Speaker 1: have a job. Even I'll hear people that even know
• 1:46:04
  Speaker 1: us and they'll be like, well, you know, they don't
• 1:46:07
  Speaker 1: have a job, you know, referring to one of our
• 1:46:10
  Speaker 1: friends in the circle, and it's like, uh no you do. Okay,
• 1:46:15
  Speaker 1: moving on? What's your Starbucks order? Okay, so a song?
• 1:46:18
  Speaker 1: I get a cold found cappuccino with almond milk, one
• 1:46:20
  Speaker 1: pump of vanilla in an added chat of espresso, A
• 1:46:24
  Speaker 1: complicated one. Yeah, and like that person I know favorite musician? Ah,
• 1:46:31
  Speaker 1: oh my gosh, I don't have one. Come on, who
• 1:46:34
  Speaker 1: do you listen to the most? Like? Who do you
• 1:46:36
  Speaker 1: go to most? On your iPod? iPod iPhone? I've been
• 1:46:44
  Speaker 1: very into Celindon lately. Fantastic answer, timeless, classic, Um, what
• 1:46:50
  Speaker 1: would be your last meal? A big bull of pasta? Okay, Scaretty,
• 1:46:55
  Speaker 1: like describe it to me, just like a big bull
• 1:46:59
  Speaker 1: of baghetti. No, I mean like what kind of noodle
• 1:47:02
  Speaker 1: and what sauce? Spaghetti, red sauce, Maybe a pizza too?
• 1:47:05
  Speaker 1: Can I can? I have multiple things in the mail,
• 1:47:07
  Speaker 1: so okay, okay. In food I asked this question, I
• 1:47:11
  Speaker 1: chose salad. Remember that Colton also chose salad when I
• 1:47:15
  Speaker 1: asked him this question, Like pizza, pasta, sushi, Chick fil a? Okay,
• 1:47:20
  Speaker 1: sounds great? Okay. Who's your celebrity crush? Um? I feel
• 1:47:28
  Speaker 1: you have them. I feel like I've heard you Bradley
• 1:47:30
  Speaker 1: Cooper good one? Yeah, Bradley Cooper clean? Or are we
• 1:47:33
  Speaker 1: talking like you know stars Warren Bradley Jackson Me, yeah,
• 1:47:38
  Speaker 1: it's the best time. He's so hot. Who's the Bachelor
• 1:47:40
  Speaker 1: Nation crush that you have that you never dated? Ah?
• 1:47:45
  Speaker 1: I can't say, come on, just who's hot? Okay? I
• 1:47:49
  Speaker 1: think next? Really cute? Okay? Yeah? Great, well you kind
• 1:47:52
  Speaker 1: of almost you went on a date? Yeah? Something that
• 1:47:55
  Speaker 1: you can watch over and over again. Well, there's a
• 1:47:58
  Speaker 1: TV show or movie? Friends? Okay, how often do you
• 1:48:02
  Speaker 1: have a beauty related appointment? You and I are the
• 1:48:04
  Speaker 1: same here, and this is why I can ask you
• 1:48:06
  Speaker 1: like every other day between nails, brows, hair, yeah, like
• 1:48:13
  Speaker 1: laser hair, moable lashes, facials, botox, like probably twice a week, Okay,
• 1:48:21
  Speaker 1: twice a week. I'd say that I'd be like, at
• 1:48:22
  Speaker 1: the minimum once a week, and I like to fill
• 1:48:25
  Speaker 1: them all within a week that I have nothing to do.
• 1:48:27
  Speaker 1: Get a facial, get my lashes done, get my nails done,
• 1:48:30
  Speaker 1: all in one day, just like a whole day of
• 1:48:32
  Speaker 1: like beauty appointments. You can get like laser like before
• 1:48:36
  Speaker 1: the weekend so that you know people don't see you
• 1:48:38
  Speaker 1: all poppy. YEA best vacation you've ever been on? My
• 1:48:42
  Speaker 1: favorite place is why? I kind of all the places
• 1:48:45
  Speaker 1: you've been to, ye, best gift you've ever received? Um,
• 1:48:50
  Speaker 1: things that can chart makes me at school? Is there
• 1:48:53
  Speaker 1: one picture that you're definitely just going to say for
• 1:48:55
  Speaker 1: a lifetime. Yeah, So Charlie made me like a little
• 1:48:57
  Speaker 1: Christmas one and it has your picture on it and
• 1:48:58
  Speaker 1: like her smile is the cutest thing here. So that's
• 1:49:00
  Speaker 1: probably my favorite. My mom still has that Christmas ornament
• 1:49:03
  Speaker 1: that we made with my face in the middle, the
• 1:49:06
  Speaker 1: outside the snowflake. It's still on the tree years later.
• 1:49:09
  Speaker 1: She just looked so proud in it favorite Bachelor moment
• 1:49:13
  Speaker 1: that didn't make air um or b I p oh
• 1:49:20
  Speaker 1: in Bachelor in Paradises. I mean it's not a favorite moment,
• 1:49:22
  Speaker 1: but it was like kind of a funny one. I
• 1:49:24
  Speaker 1: got attacked by mosquitoes. I don't know if you remember that.
• 1:49:25
  Speaker 1: My arm like that, My god, nobody's ever seen an
• 1:49:29
  Speaker 1: arm like Amanda's arm. Yeah. I was so glad they
• 1:49:31
  Speaker 1: didn't hear it. But yeah. Oh and I also got
• 1:49:33
  Speaker 1: seasick on Josh and I's first date. Okay, yeah, so
• 1:49:36
  Speaker 1: there was like lots of moments because neither of those
• 1:49:38
  Speaker 1: your favorite moments, but like I'm memorable, memorable. Were also
• 1:49:41
  Speaker 1: concerned about your arm? It, guys, it was blown off.
• 1:49:45
  Speaker 1: It was as if she was allergic to I was allergic. Yeah,
• 1:49:51
  Speaker 1: I was not. Okay. The first thing you would save
• 1:49:54
  Speaker 1: in your house if it was on fire, my kids. Okay,
• 1:49:58
  Speaker 1: find possession a material object my designer handbags and choose.
• 1:50:05
  Speaker 1: Perfect lead into what's your favorite thing in your closet?
• 1:50:08
  Speaker 1: My designer handbags and choose. My last question is would
• 1:50:13
  Speaker 1: you ever be bachelorette? Um? I mean I have no
• 1:50:16
  Speaker 1: desire to know, but if they came to you with
• 1:50:18
  Speaker 1: a contract. It would be hard to say no, yeah,
• 1:50:21
  Speaker 1: but I don't really want to yeah. And does that
• 1:50:25
  Speaker 1: conclude our mini series of a podcast with Amanda stands
• 1:50:29
  Speaker 1: amazing eight episodes, Amanda follow our lead here. Thank you
• 1:50:33
  Speaker 1: again everybody out there listening. Make sure you tune in
• 1:50:37
  Speaker 1: next week for another episode of Almost Famous. I've Been Been,
• 1:50:41
  Speaker 1: I've been Ashley. I'm Amanda, I've been I've been Amanda.
• 1:50:45
  Speaker 1: I don't know why we started this, but we've done
• 1:50:47
  Speaker 1: it for two years later. Guys By