Latest / The Christian Reeve Podcast / Tessa Greenspan | The Christian Reeve Podcast | #158 |

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Tessa Greenspan | The Christian Reeve Podcast | #158 | · The Christian Reeve Podcast

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  Hello, and welcome to another episode of the Christian re
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  podcast. Today's guest is a best-selling
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  author, motivational speaker and entrepreneur all the way from
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  st. Louis Missouri, in the United
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  States, her name is Tessa. Greenspan, welcome to the show
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  Tessa. I did, thank you very much.
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  It's an honor to be here with you Christian.
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  The owners always mine, but thank you so much.
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  Yeah, I would have jumped straight into things.
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  Sometimes, I did dilly-dally, but I'm trying to kind of just
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  get straight into it. I want to know.
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  So the journey behind how you became an author and
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  motivational speaker, like what, what led you up to that?
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  Because I think I've had quite a few people on the show that have
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  work in similar fields to yourself.
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  And I always find that the, the journey is, more, is more
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  interesting than the finale. And I mean, it's always about
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  how you got there and it's normally an interesting story,
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  because More often than not, you don't kind of get into that
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  particular, let's say field. Like you look like for instance,
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  when you work, 10 years old, you don't think I want to be a
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  motivational speaker. I mean, maybe some people do, I
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  don't know, but I think it's the sort of thing where you live a
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  life and then you go. Do you know what, I've lived,
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  this long, varied life. I've learned a lot, I feel I
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  have something to share, you know, like something that I can
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  teach others from be it. Big lessons.
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  I've learned mistakes experiences, whatever.
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  So tell us a bit about that. Journey and how you've got to
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  where you are today. Where do you want me to start?
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  Well let's let's kind of start. Let's start at the point where
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  you kind of you transition to becoming an author and a
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  motivational speaker. Like what prompted that decision
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  will where Did you sort of thing?
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  Hmm. Okay, I've got something to
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  share and this is why I want to do it.
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  First of all, I have been positive all my life and it was
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  because my mother was such a role model of being positive.
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  So this has been a way of my life when I, when I got the
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  store, then I had 80 employees. And my goal is always been and
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  has always been to inspire to encourage, and it's really my
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  goal to inspire to encourage, to motivate you to know for you to
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  know that you're enough, no matter where you came from and
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  that you can do it. So this is really Be in a way of
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  my life for many many years. And so it's just really was a
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  great transient motion when I saw this story in 2008 that it
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  was really important for me to put that on paper that perhaps I
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  can help a lot of people. And by the way, the book is
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  going to be the movie. It's being made into a movie.
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  Wow, that's amazing. Oh yeah, I'd be remiss if I
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  didn't ask you about that. So I know you there's you can't
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  talk about certain details, so I'll steer away from that.
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  But wow. Okay.
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  Is it, is it going to be like a major thing or is it like?
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  Yes. Yes, you must be so excited.
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  Yes, I am. Yes.
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  There's lots of things going on in a lot of things.
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  I can't talk about right now and who and what, but there is the
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  screenplay is being written as we speak.
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  You heavily involved in that process are you obeying crime?
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  I'm involved in giving directions far as how it was.
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  They a great question. I don't think I really want to
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  be in the movie. I think it there, there are
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  professional actresses and actors who can do that.
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  So, but we have some really, it will be a big name, which is
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  really, really good. I'm over the moon for you.
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  That's just fantastic. It's always, it's always good
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  when When when a genuinely good story gets turned into into a
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  movie because I think no I mean it's different medium, doesn't
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  it nothing for first. Also always should be the
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  written form and then the visual form, kind of encapsulate
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  sitting in a different way. Can you tell us a little bit
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  about how, how they reached out to you?
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  Or what that conversation was like?
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  Well I will, I will say this, I've always known it was going
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  to be a movie. I just really hadn't known the
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  people or the process. I just knew because again, my
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  goal is to encourage to inspire and millions of people, and this
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  book, the message is really powerful.
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  And so, Actually, my dreams are coming true and its
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  manifestations of, a lot of other things.
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  You know, I'm really big on visualizing so I was Well, a
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  number of people have came to me and it wasn't right.
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  You have to I my go was, you must love the book.
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  It must be more about money for you.
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  And so there, I've had several offers and it just wasn't right.
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  I didn't want that person or that company doing it and I was
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  interviewed on a podcast and she, you know, she said, well, I
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  have a person that you need to talk to so I talk to them.
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  So it came and then I have friends who were in the
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  business, One Flew in from California to see me.
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  So it really has evolved and it has to be perfect.
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  Perfect in, people have to love it and have to really want to
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  get the message out that you can do anything and inspiring.
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  There are many many areas in the book.
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  That is very inspiring for any person.
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  It doesn't matter who that to know that you can do it is.
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  Perseverance is Its resilience. So and positivity is part of it
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  meditation is another part of my whole process.
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  You touched on two things. The the kind of like recent
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  lessons for myself and it's amazing.
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  Like when you're when you're open to these things, like how
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  the universe works, how things work?
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  Firstly this concept of our like you know, you can be working.
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  Doing different things. You know?
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  Like as you said, you were just doing a podcast, just casually
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  promoting what you do and getting and getting more eyes
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  and listeners aware of what you're doing.
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  And then they happen to have a contact and then they forward
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  that contact and then, you know, I mean and it's like you know,
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  connections Making Connections is nothing new.
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  We all know especially in business that this is like a
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  really important thing, but Finding the right connections
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  people that you that you click with, for example, like I'm an
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  aspiring actor, for example. And I've noticed the A big part
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  of this is going to be and is the connections process.
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  Like for instance, the first I had a bit of acting break
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  because of the pandemic because of other things, right?
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  Started up again probably in 2022 and the very first short
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  film. I did we sat in a room and it's
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  a bunch of actors. And after about 30 minutes of
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  talking, it's like all right. So let's past each other's
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  Instagram details like naturally but it kind of It may be think
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  like you know what this is a really really big part of this
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  not just now but for the future and you know, you build rapport
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  with people, you suggest people. You know, I've done that in the
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  podcasts, Fierce, for example, I've I've pitched other guests
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  to other podcasts I've appeared on or who I who've had been on
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  my show and vice versa. So this, I guess my point is is
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  that, you know, it's a big thing with regards to helping each
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  other out and finding the right people.
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  That you Vibe with. And so on it is, it is a big
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  risk. Life is one big networking
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  event. Yes, it is.
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  And I wouldn't to talk to you offline, because I want to give
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  you some processes that can help that process.
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  Yes, look forward to thank you. Oh, yeah.
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  And the other, the other aspect to it, as you said, which I
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  really, really, really believe in touched on a little bit.
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  There is, yeah, finding the right people.
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  Yeah. Because I've had this as well
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  where I've had certain Projects that I've turned down.
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  Because of the very same reasons like identify that she shared
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  this on the podcast before I was, I was doing a commercial.
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  It was around Christmas time company, that obviously, I can't
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  mention for legal reasons, reached out to me and they're
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  very, very big company. International Company, big
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  product, recognizable product and, you know, they weren't
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  offering like loads of money. It was Reasonable but, you know,
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  I come from a marketing background.
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  So I just looked at that like well this is not worth it but
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  this will be good because it will represent the.
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  I always try to look at what the opportunities are with anything.
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  Yes it's like. Okay, right.
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  This is your opportunity to meet people.
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  This is exposure. Maybe it will lead to other
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  things. Etc, etc, etc.
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  Once and so you know, I agree create a little advert for them.
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  Now, bear in mind. I'm not rich guy.
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  I have limited resources and first and foremost they've
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  contacted me. They contacted me through
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  Tick-Tock. And obviously we're Tick-Tock.
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  It's all just creating stuff on phones.
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  Some people have better phones at the time.
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  I had a Reasonable phone wasn't particularly great quality but
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  you could see that I had a style to what I was doing.
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  So wasn't like an in-house production made by a big
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  company. It was like, you know, just the
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  guy with a phone making quirky stuff, that's what it is.
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  That's what my brand still is in many ways or at least it was on
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  that platform. Anyway, they reach out they say,
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  yeah, you know, I know, I know especially now that they were
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  just looking at my numbers because on my main account
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  there's like a big Following right and you get this a lot
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  soon as you start getting the bigger numbers that's all
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  people. See, they don't see the person
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  or you know, the brand or any of that other stuff that I've been
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  trying to build up. And so several other creators,
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  they just look at the numbers. That's just how some people
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  work. That's how some businesses work.
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  I get it. Yeah.
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  And that's right. And that's what they were doing.
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  And then so I make them an advert and I actually like rape
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  made a real effort. I went out with my housemate.
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  We Went to Manchester, which is where I live in the UK, filmed a
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  bunch of different things. It happened to be at Christmas.
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  So I did a Christmas theme. I timed the video perfectly to
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  the, you know, that Christmas song that does indeed.
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  It's the most wonderful time and it was perfectly cut.
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  So that so there's like different clip for each part and
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  then boom. And then I and that was it, and
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  it featured several instances of me using the product and
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  whatever. The off to them and they were
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  like, oh yeah, this is great. But we think you need to add a
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  voiceover and I was like, okay, might ruin it.
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  I was thinking, can I still have the same advert that have a
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  voiceover? Will it work?
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  And as I I'll try and so I did and actually enhanced it made it
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  much better. I said that after them and then
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  they're like, that's great. That's great.
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  But yeah, we need you to be in They said, like you so I live in
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  Manchester. I'm from London, but I live in
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  Manchester they were like, oh, we, you know, we think you
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  should show instances of the tfl.
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  So Transport for London, for those who don't know, and I'm
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  thinking, well, I don't live in London, I live in Manchester,
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  you know, that and what you asked it with you, you're going
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  to pay for me to travel down to London and film that.
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  Like I didn't say this obviously but all these thoughts are going
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  through my head like, okay, let's Track for a second.
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  The saying we want this, we want this, we want this, we want this
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  and I'm thinking to myself, you know what, I'm not a production
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  company. I am one person with a
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  particular brand and that's how I do things.
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  I've done what you asked, but you keep saying it's not enough.
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  So what's the point of this story?
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  Why am I telling this? Well, I walked away from that.
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  I said, okay, let's just agree to disagree on this and go on
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  our way and you know, look I believe even like I wouldn't
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  name the company for obvious reasons, don't get sued but also
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  the bigger more important reason is that you have to know and
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  have self respect for yourself to walk away from certain
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  people. The truth to say no to certain
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  people. As you say, you've had lots and
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  lots of lots of people contact you about this story and wanting
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  to make the story every Seeing you've turned them down every
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  time because it's you know, not everything in life is about
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  money and it shouldn't be. It should be about what you're
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  passionate about, what you believe in.
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  And you know when push comes to shove at the end of the day,
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  that's what really matters in life.
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  Is your principles and your values, and stuff like that
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  because money comes and money goes.
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  You can earn big amounts that all the time if you want.
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  Yeah, that's that's not an issue.
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  It's it's more about what matters and what means
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  something? I think you always get a bigger
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  Sense of self satisfaction from from from saying, no, from
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  standing to your principles, then you do from.
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  Oh, I just sold out, 400 mil. I don't know, we're doing that
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  because when you, you know, actually when you have a need of
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  money or when it would really be good, you know, it's really easy
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  to capitulate when you don't feel right.
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  It's so so important than go by how you feel during this when I
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  was very young really important, we have an inner guide that
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  guides us if we listen to it, Yes.
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  And it's so important to listen to this and do even though you
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  think, well maybe you know, this would be really helpful in here
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  here, but the point of it is we have an inner guide that really
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  guides us. If we listen I completely agree
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  with this 100%. This is this is a new thing for
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  me because I've always been more skeptical minded.
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  So Believe in the content and the contact concept of like an
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  inner voice that tells you all the time and is always right.
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  It is a bit like well it does that really fit science I don't
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  know but you know what it is true.
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  I'll give you another quick example.
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  So I was out getting phone case for this phone or just got not
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  case something to protect the screen.
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  This this literally happened a couple of days ago and I was
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  with my housemate thank God and we go to this place and it's a
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  DOT the know these phone case shots they're always a bit no
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  idea. I don't know how they In the
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  States, but here in England, they are like no waste.
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  But, you know, this was in Manchester City Centre, it was
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  just a bit like it just had that awkward something off Vibe.
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  And I remember that they pitch the price straightaway, they
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  were like 20 quid and we'll do this, will do that for you.
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  And I was just like Just seems a bit too much like a something
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  felt off and I turned to my housemate and I'm like, what do
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  you think? And he's just like, he's not
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  really saying much and I'm just thinking like and the salesman's
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  like really pushing he's like, oh, you know, we can do this, we
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  can do that. It takes my phone doesn't ask to
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  take my phone by the way, and so I'm just like, well, you took my
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  phone and it's just, it's just like nothing about this feels
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  right. And I'm like, I think I'm going
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  to think about it, and we're about to go and then they keep
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  trying to pull us back in, you know, the classic back and
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  forth, sales thing. And then they picture another
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  products, which is significantly, less success even
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  pounds, but the bigger the, there's like no difference
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  between these two products apart from the fact that if you scan,
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  like a UV light over it or something you can check if
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  there's fingerprints, I'm thinking I'll go.
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  So I'm paying an extra In pounds for more fingerprint.
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  I don't know this. So the whole thing is silly, but
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  the point reason I'm saying this is that as soon as he brought
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  that cheaper product down and also the manager then came.
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  So it was not the sales guy anymore.
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  Trying to make a quick Buck at was the manager and he's going
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  for it with me. And I'm listening.
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  I'm listening. I turned to my housemate, then
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  he starts actually talking now. He's like, well, yeah, this is
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  what I got, and Yeah, I think this is okay.
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  And suddenly my gut my inner feeling was just like I started
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  actually feeling relaxed because before I felt really anxious,
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  like this is wrong. I don't trust this.
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  I don't trust this, I don't know, you know, and years ago I
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  used to ignore that but I never ignore it now because it's as
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  you say it's like a guideline really is important for you and
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  you were see so many things would turn up for you.
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  That is better for you. If you really pay attention, I
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  think it's the most important thing.
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  How did you discover that? How did you discover that inner
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  voice thing? Well, I am really really
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  fortunate because my mother for some reason knew about all of
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  this and actually when I was about 17 or so she said, you
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  know, it's really important for you to pay attention to how you
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  feel. If you are going to get on a
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  plane and you don't feel right do not get on that plane.
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  So she was giving me a great example.
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  Of what to do. And so really since that time,
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  I've developed it more and more and I know even going into a
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  room full of people are if that person I should stay away from
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  and you know, to this is the thing we all know.
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  But many of us do not pay attention to it.
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  So I would suggest for anyone listening to pay attention to,
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  what's going on, and how you feel.
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  It really is a Barometer that is won't fail.
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  You, did you believe your mom straight away when she was
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  telling you this? Or were you cynical?
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  Sure how you did well? My mother had been positive with
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  positive on her life into my mother.
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  And I had this phenomenal, really close relationship.
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  So really anything, she said to me from the time I was very
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  little, you know, I never doubted it anyway.
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  With regards to, let's talk a little bit more about that
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  relationship. So you say that she was a
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  positive person, all of her life, like there particular
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  things, you could say that you learn from your mom that you
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  carry with you into what you teach that.
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  Well, what would you say that the biggest lessons you learned
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  from from your mother and as far as positivity and life in
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  general? She never she had overwhelming.
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  Unbelievable odds. Just her and really tragedies
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  that most people can't live through and she never felt sorry
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  for herself. She was always positive.
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  And so, from a very young age, I look at, look at the bright
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  side, look at the solution for this.
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  This is not, this is okay, this is the challenge.
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  Let's look for the solution. So this is really been ingrained
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  in me all my life. It's really, I'm always looking
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  for the solution, okay? This is a challenge and you
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  know, this could be sad, the thing of it is, what can I learn
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  from this example? Do you think what, what do you
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  think of like, the main ways to be to stay optimistic and
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  positive in the face of adversity in the face of
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  difficult? Because I'm at, I have my own
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  reasons, but you know what this show is about Tessa.
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  I'd love to know how you approach a lot, what key things
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  you keep in mind to keep yourself positive and
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  optimistic. Well, it is really important to
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  have a practice every single day, every single morning, I
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  meditate. I pray, I pray, as I pray, I
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  have readings that I read then I write in my journal from what
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  I've learned and then I read it back to myself.
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  So I spent an hour or two between the medication and on, I
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  mean, it's really a process that really helps my day start off,
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  and then I do a lot of visualization, also of of
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  different things. And so, and then I Say, who may
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  I serve today, put them in my path so that I may say Sir them.
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  So, that's a big thing that you believe in this decide there.
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  That, like, in your life, you're always seeking to help people
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  whatever you like. That's kind of like the purpose
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  if you like, yes, it is, was there a particular moment when
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  you kind of figured out like, that's what I'm supposed to do
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  like that's where my life is headed.
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  I can't say that there's a particular moment, it's just
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  been a way of my life more and more and when I see the joy that
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  I can bring to other people and just from messages, I'm entering
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  a lot of people just mentor and I am I have some gifts that I
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  can impart and it isn't because I know more because I don't but
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  it's just really you know that person really has been put into
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  my path that I can help them or encourage them.
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  It doesn't Help them and I'm not going to fix a person.
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  I am not here to fix anyone. We cannot an internal person is
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  ready even ready to come to me? I really can't help them.
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  I mean you can you can encourage your person and they say the
• 22:07
  same thing over and over well, but you know, so I'm not here to
• 22:12
  fix anyone. I'm here to fix myself and I
• 22:15
  work on myself every single day. It reminds me of When I was
• 22:20
  younger and I used to basically, when I was, as I could teen and
• 22:25
  my early 20s, I used to be like this really negative person.
• 22:27
  Exactly what you were talking about.
• 22:29
  Like just oh no, but that won't work.
• 22:31
  Oh no but everything's terrible La, you know.
• 22:34
  Just and I remember older people that I would work with.
• 22:39
  For example, people in their 30s 40s, would be telling me this
• 22:42
  stuff and they'd hear me saying that and I remember the looks on
• 22:45
  their faces. Kind of, like, I suppose what
• 22:48
  they were thinking was At all. He'll figure out one day.
• 22:51
  It will hit him, but it's saying that doesn't mean anything,
• 22:56
  especially in, you're going through that, it's like it will
• 22:58
  click one day and it did, it did clip, but it's like a process
• 23:04
  and you have to be open to it. And you have to kind of Kind of
• 23:09
  go through the motions to get there.
• 23:11
  Do you know what I mean? Like me becoming a positive
• 23:13
  optimistic person was not like an overnight thing that took
• 23:16
  years and it's germane and it's like.
• 23:21
  And I find myself in the same position now where it's like
• 23:25
  let's a do like a live stream. When I start talking to people
• 23:28
  and I give them advice, they'll voiced a you know the issues
• 23:32
  they're having. And why may be that?
• 23:36
  What I suggest doesn't work and then I kind of say, well, Kind
• 23:41
  of have to trust in the process and as you said you can't fix
• 23:45
  someone's life. No, you're not responsible.
• 23:48
  Like it's but there's this quote in The Matrix the movie which I
• 23:53
  come in breakfast. The first or the second one
• 23:55
  might be the first. I don't know.
• 23:56
  Who cares? The point is the character of
• 23:59
  Morpheus says to me. Oh, I can.
• 24:03
  Show you the door. You're the one who has to walk
• 24:06
  through it. Yeah, I think it's good.
• 24:10
  That is that is it? That's, that's how.
• 24:13
  Like, what? Yeah, yes it is.
• 24:15
  Yes, it is. Well, I want to comment on what
• 24:17
  you've said and that is that you are fortunate, that you were
• 24:21
  friendly open to this. And in our way of life, and when
• 24:26
  we choose to be positive, is a process.
• 24:28
  It's not an instant kind of thing, and it really takes work
• 24:31
  every single day. And I don't I think it's a nice
• 24:35
  long my thing but I know I love my life, I love life and so I'm
• 24:44
  going to continue on doing the things that will help me have
• 24:47
  joy. I've noticed actually the a big
• 24:51
  part of this is like I briefly once said, you know, that you
• 24:58
  should be like water, you know, be like the ocean like go with
• 25:03
  the flow so does. But I'm murdering his quote
• 25:06
  right now. But essentially that's what he
• 25:08
  said and that's what changed for me, specifically, instead of
• 25:14
  trying to resist things, instead of ignoring that inner voice
• 25:16
  excetera just going with the flow, seeing what happens, you
• 25:20
  know? Like often the idea that we have
• 25:23
  of what, this is how it should go.
• 25:24
  This is how I'm going to do it. Never really works out that way.
• 25:27
  It's like life is going in this way and you know, you can try
• 25:32
  and go that way, but you're just going to get pushed back to this
• 25:35
  way, you know. And it's you just have to adapt
• 25:39
  onion and just a really yes you can be really grateful that you
• 25:46
  finally were open and at. So at a young age that you can
• 25:50
  now grow and so it's sort of like the door, you opened the
• 25:54
  door which now Now, the path is really great because you know,
• 25:59
  processes of what you can do. I do think. especially the, once
• 26:07
  you get to that point, it's then you're kind of Obligation.
• 26:14
  And also, It's just right to be able to track to try your best
• 26:22
  to show other people. The way, you know try to push
• 26:26
  people to go follow the same route as you as we said before
• 26:31
  you can't force anyone to do that but you certainly can
• 26:34
  introduce them to ideas. You know, planting the seed for
• 26:37
  in the idea like I always make sure to just say that hmm this
• 26:41
  just because you never know that.
• 26:43
  That's the thing is what you can taste.
• 26:45
  That you can say something to someone.
• 26:47
  And in five years from now it'll click and it's like, but at
• 26:51
  least you said that thing. At least it's in their head.
• 26:55
  That is very true and someone that you that you work at
• 26:58
  helping beforehand me, come back to you in a year or so because
• 27:04
  they know who to go to, that's true.
• 27:08
  Yeah. Yeah.
• 27:08
  I know sometimes your work is not done and dusted.
• 27:11
  Sometimes you go. It's like a red setting thing.
• 27:14
  I don't think work. I mean I'm I love I enjoy.
• 27:18
  I enjoy all of the things I do every single day.
• 27:22
  You know what, major wonderful things are going to happen to me
• 27:25
  today. I'm so looking forward to this
• 27:27
  day. What is happiness and positivity
• 27:32
  to you? Like if you had to Define low,
• 27:35
  what's your definition? I think happiness is free from
• 27:40
  stress. It's really looking at my goal
• 27:43
  is to see the beauty in everyone and everything.
• 27:46
  And I look for this, I look for things so between happiness and
• 27:53
  positivity. I think positivity is is a way
• 27:56
  of life that is like a muscle, you know, when we, I'm a big
• 28:00
  student of the brain and what makes his chick and how we can
• 28:03
  make a difference in how we can make changes in ourselves and it
• 28:07
  It is about practice is really about it's nothing, comes easy.
• 28:13
  So to make newer new neural Pathways in your brain is really
• 28:17
  a consistent thing. It's sort of like when you're on
• 28:20
  a rutted road you know, your is really you go in that rut rather
• 28:25
  than trying to go on the other side.
• 28:28
  So it's really making new Pathways in your brain, and it
• 28:32
  takes a lot of time and it's persistent and consistent.
• 28:35
  And one of the things that I am grateful for is that I'm
• 28:40
  persistent. I'm consistent, I'm resilient
• 28:43
  and I never quit. There you go, guys.
• 28:48
  That's how you do it. How do you, how do you reach
• 28:53
  people? Because I mean you mentioned a
• 28:55
  bit earlier that you you consult people, you you help you coach
• 28:59
  people and help people. So how exactly do you reach
• 29:03
  people whose minds are closed? Who, you know, are Actively
• 29:08
  you'd like, you know, they're just going to kind of reject
• 29:11
  your ideas. They're going to say no that
• 29:12
  doesn't work. No it doesn't work or it might
• 29:14
  work for you but it's not going to work for me.
• 29:15
  Like how do you reach those people and actually get through
• 29:19
  to them? I don't I think if we are a role
• 29:22
  model in in our in a way of life then people will come to you.
• 29:28
  I don't try to fix anybody and that's really kind of fixing.
• 29:33
  I can't. What I do is I pray for people
• 29:37
  that Have challenges and Horn. Oponopono, it's a Hawaiian
• 29:43
  prayer. That you know it's I love you.
• 29:47
  I forgive you please. Forgive me.
• 29:50
  Thank you. And this is energy in your mind
• 29:54
  so send you to these people where they may have major
• 29:58
  crisis. So we can't fix a people and I
• 30:01
  can't fix a person. But what I can do is I can love
• 30:04
  them, I can send energy to them. Absolutely, and one thing that
• 30:10
  you write about, which I think is interesting as a concept, is
• 30:14
  this idea of positivity practices?
• 30:17
  Could you tell us a little bit more about what these positivity
• 30:21
  practices are and why people should follow them?
• 30:27
  Well, you're happier, first of all you're not miserable that
• 30:34
  that makes a big difference. I think that it's really on how
• 30:39
  we look at life, you know, we can look at something well, you
• 30:42
  know, this didn't go, right? So I always say, what can I
• 30:45
  learn from this? How can I grow as a result?
• 30:47
  So it's really a practice of life and creating different
• 30:51
  practices to get back to center to see the beauty, you know,
• 30:55
  just to look outside. To see the beauty to hear the
• 30:58
  birds sing. If you practice looking for the
• 31:02
  good, you will have a lot more good in your life.
• 31:05
  It's really about gratitude to awesome, is about gratitude.
• 31:10
  And, by the way, the other thing I do is and I've saved like
• 31:13
  70,000 I'm post positive messages on my Facebook page,
• 31:18
  every single two or three and again it's about it saying the
• 31:22
  same thing in a thousand ways gratitude.
• 31:25
  You are what you think you are, can you?
• 31:27
  You are great. You're awesome.
• 31:30
  You know it's a good day to have a good day.
• 31:32
  So I say the same thing. And so that's another way that I
• 31:36
  can make a difference in a lot of people's lives that I met
• 31:39
  some. I don't even know if anybody
• 31:42
  wants to follow me. They can look me up.
• 31:45
  I nearly him, too many people now.
• 31:48
  So I can't really friend a lot of people but they can follow
• 31:52
  me. And every day, my goal is to see
• 31:56
  how I can encourage. Age people have you noticed big
• 32:02
  differences as far as like, generationally speaking?
• 32:05
  Because, like, for instance, you must have the people of all
• 32:07
  different ages and backgrounds kind of approach any and stuff.
• 32:11
  Did you notice any like, major differences, though, as far as
• 32:14
  like, maybe how you have the communique or maybe people's
• 32:17
  priorities, or just where people's heads around, or
• 32:20
  anything like that? I don't know.
• 32:24
  I think it's really finding out where that person is.
• 32:27
  And then really gearing everything towards that where
• 32:31
  you are in life. So it's not about me.
• 32:35
  This is what's really important to it's not about me.
• 32:38
  My prayer always is how can I you know, use me so that I can
• 32:43
  be a vessel and show you be a role model of what's possible in
• 32:48
  life. One thing I find quite
• 32:51
  interesting in my research is that you've helped companies to
• 32:55
  integrate positivity into For Coach which see I've got some
• 33:00
  gripes about companies, I'm very happy to voice them.
• 33:05
  I won't go to do a huge details here.
• 33:06
  But what I will say, is that there are many toxic workplaces
• 33:11
  out there. That's leave it at that.
• 33:12
  And there are genuine attempts, I think made by many companies
• 33:17
  to introduce not necessary positivity.
• 33:21
  But to introduce this idea of culture and to get people
• 33:25
  together. And, you know, some cases is
• 33:27
  it's there is genuine, and they are just trying to create like,
• 33:30
  Synergy create a better team working, a better atmosphere,
• 33:34
  but in many cases it's just maybe pressure or trying to kind
• 33:40
  of The way of control I don't know I mean it varies from
• 33:45
  company to company but I'm intrigued specifically to how
• 33:48
  you actually help these companies and what kind of
• 33:51
  things you introduced and maybe you know you could share with us
• 33:55
  some of those success stories as well.
• 33:58
  First our say, unless it starts from the very top, you cannot
• 34:03
  change a company. You know, the sad part is that
• 34:07
  many companies have merged and really became so big that it's
• 34:10
  not personal anymore, you're just a number.
• 34:13
  So one of the things is to bring it down to small groups, small
• 34:18
  areas that there's a meter from this one but it must always stop
• 34:23
  start from the top. And one of the things I was
• 34:27
  thinking about even is You write a book on culture because I love
• 34:31
  business. And so I am I really noticed
• 34:35
  that when I go into a place, I noticed what they're feeling is
• 34:38
  what the feeling is, for instance, you know, my dentist
• 34:41
  office is a phenomenal place that everybody loves you know.
• 34:45
  So my goal was looking for, what does people love, how do they
• 34:49
  get to that part? And it always starts from the
• 34:52
  top. So the person at the very top
• 34:54
  and maybe the top few levels unless they are opt into it, it
• 34:59
  will never change. You can do all the work in the
• 35:02
  world. But you can't it's like fighting
• 35:06
  against someone when the person at the top is negative and it
• 35:12
  won't do any good. But culture is is so important.
• 35:16
  And for companies that and they've tried, I'm sure but that
• 35:20
  one had merged with each other is really life is gotten about
• 35:25
  money and a number, you are not. It's the numbers and you are not
• 35:30
  important, which that's the most important.
• 35:34
  When you treat people and that was my gift with my store,
• 35:38
  people love to work for me. Actually, they would work in
• 35:41
  high school, come back in college, and then then want to
• 35:44
  work on the weekends when they got out.
• 35:46
  So because I treated them like really great people.
• 35:52
  Actually, I had a PA, it was a big store and when a client when
• 35:58
  it went a person did very well. I would on the PA I would say
• 36:02
  everybody. Tell.
• 36:06
  You know Judy what a great job. She get our Judy did a great job
• 36:10
  on customer service, she gets a star and a candy bar.
• 36:13
  So and when their birthdays were all of the customers and I had
• 36:17
  like a thousand people a day that came through this door.
• 36:20
  All of the customers would say happy birthday to that person.
• 36:23
  And so I gave them also that they were part of it.
• 36:29
  I had her profit sharing plan so that they knew that they were a
• 36:32
  part of it. So I shared things.
• 36:34
  So I love as I said, I love business and so those are some
• 36:39
  of the ways. It's really making people feel
• 36:41
  good and valued as and you treat your employees as if they are.
• 36:44
  Your most valuable client that to me is one of the most
• 36:48
  important things that anybody could do.
• 36:51
  We'll just, yeah, I want to ask you a little bit more about this
• 36:54
  particular place, but I do want to add to that as well because I
• 36:57
  totally agree. It does always kind of puzzle,
• 37:00
  puzzle me, when I see a company, you know, cut into the bottom
• 37:04
  line, cutting this stuff. Off.
• 37:05
  You know, putting more pressure on this stuff.
• 37:07
  It's like your staff are literally what?
• 37:11
  Make the company like, without the staff.
• 37:13
  You've got nothing. Young got business says, like
• 37:15
  when you eat yourself badly, it's like, it's just not
• 37:18
  logical. Like, that's, that's the thing
• 37:20
  about business as well. Like logic needs to be in
• 37:25
  business. You needs to be logical.
• 37:27
  You can't make all the like to say, there's no emotion, or no,
• 37:30
  ego or anything. In business is a crazy thing to
• 37:33
  say, of course there is, you know, so many decisions.
• 37:35
  Asians are driven by, you know, politics and emotion and
• 37:39
  everything. But when you really boil it down
• 37:42
  like you know, the most important things are things like
• 37:45
  trust, you know. Like for instance I can work
• 37:49
  with of a person that doesn't like me, I can go on with people
• 37:51
  that don't like me. That's not a problem.
• 37:53
  I just need to know that I can trust you.
• 37:55
  That's more important in the yeah.
• 37:58
  For a business. But yeah anyway, yeah.
• 38:01
  So this place that you were actually working at you.
• 38:04
  What they're for. 27 years and you were the CEO sappington's
• 38:09
  Farmers Market. They got that right, right?
• 38:13
  What would you say? Were the biggest lessons and
• 38:17
  takeaways from your time there? I think I'll repeat what I said
• 38:26
  that it was. It's really important.
• 38:27
  I found. No I it's been my way of like to
• 38:31
  treat people as human beings and that they're valuable.
• 38:35
  I think this is probably one of the most important things any
• 38:38
  person in business can do from the CEO of a company.
• 38:43
  I think also for them to feel that they're part of it.
• 38:48
  For instance, I had set up a profit sharing plan so that, you
• 38:52
  know, I would say, you know, if Work.
• 38:54
  You know then, let's see how we can improve it, but I wanted
• 38:57
  everybody's input to there was even a suggestion box that they
• 39:01
  could put in. We had the the person of the
• 39:05
  year when somebody did something really good, it was really
• 39:08
  acknowledged. They felt acknowledge.
• 39:13
  And I think this is one of the most important things that we
• 39:16
  can do anywhere in any small or larger acknowledge the people.
• 39:22
  I've really, really agree with that.
• 39:24
  I have to say like I think the ultimate acknowledgement really
• 39:30
  is in the form of rewards that you can't it can't just always
• 39:34
  be, it's working. Yeah, but the but here's the
• 39:38
  thing I think it's the best is to have a mixture of both
• 39:41
  because I think being and I can vouch for this as well.
• 39:45
  Being told that you're doing a good job and that having
• 39:48
  reinforcement does help but it really does.
• 39:51
  I mean the main, the main source of income that I have right now.
• 39:56
  Freelancing for this particular company.
• 39:58
  Like, I have a various different things I do, but there's one
• 40:00
  particular company. I'm freelancing, for really,
• 40:03
  really great startup, great people.
• 40:05
  And when the one thing I've noticed, This really different
• 40:09
  from all the companies I've worked with over the years is
• 40:12
  that there's a certain level of respect as far as communication
• 40:15
  is concerned and things like reinforcement on my direct boss.
• 40:19
  We have a very kind of casual relationship is the formal in
• 40:24
  its you know, where it should be, but it is casual and it's
• 40:27
  also He'll make a point of saying like, hey, good job on
• 40:34
  that, really proud of you for that Etc.
• 40:36
  And I kind of find it amazing that like, even after all these
• 40:41
  years, young 29 year old man, like I still get a kick out of
• 40:45
  that. I still feels good to be told.
• 40:47
  Yeah, I did. I did I did work hard for that
• 40:49
  and it's nice to be told that and thank you, you know, it's,
• 40:53
  you need to hear that in end, not just at work, either in all
• 40:56
  aspects of life. I think you're right, you are
• 40:59
  Right. So it isn't, you're right about
• 41:01
  it. It should be both, it should be
• 41:03
  acknowledgement and monetary so that you know, I mean you can
• 41:07
  not pay a person and and compliment them all day long,
• 41:12
  but that really isn't. So should your right.
• 41:14
  It should be both people will work more for acknowledgement in
• 41:19
  for recognition than they will for work.
• 41:23
  And it really is it is an inherent nature that we all like
• 41:29
  to You have to know that we've done good or that we've made an
• 41:32
  impact or that something, somebody recognized that this
• 41:36
  was a nice thing. Yeah, I think again I feel like
• 41:42
  I'm repeating myself here but is it is true like you want to feel
• 41:47
  that you're part of something or you want to feel that you're
• 41:50
  important or you matter you are needed.
• 41:52
  You know, that's so important in life.
• 41:54
  Like well I'll give an example is not really related to work,
• 41:57
  but I just want something, I pay attention to is that, you know,
• 42:00
  when you go out with like, a group of friends, for instance,
• 42:02
  or maybe, maybe even people, you don't know, like, you met them
• 42:05
  for the first time. Maybe you've had an invitation
• 42:07
  and And you know one person they don't really know the others.
• 42:11
  Sometimes you see that there's someone there bit quiet, they
• 42:15
  haven't said much, they could just be a quiet person and that,
• 42:19
  that's fair. But sometimes it will be that
• 42:21
  they've just been left out there not being included.
• 42:24
  And whenever I see that, I always try and make a point of
• 42:27
  including that person. Not because I'm some big st.
• 42:31
  And Nolan on, I great, it's more because I just say, I don't want
• 42:35
  anyone to ever feel like that and B, I think.
• 42:38
  It's so important to try and include everyone and make
• 42:41
  everyone feel important special. And there should be like a
• 42:45
  conscious effort for people to do that especially in a work
• 42:49
  place. You know, you you've got like a
• 42:52
  group of people, they're all totally different and while you
• 42:56
  might have a shared Vision or shared understanding, or
• 42:59
  similarities between you, you are fundamentally all different.
• 43:03
  You'll think the different ways and have different values, Etc.
• 43:05
  So, you there really has to Be commitment to understanding
• 43:11
  people from an individual perspective in terms of what
• 43:15
  people want and what's important to people and being included,
• 43:19
  but also from a collective standpoint as well.
• 43:22
  And it's It is interesting to me how we have experienced this
• 43:29
  major shift in business now, but we're still not there because I
• 43:33
  think sometimes like there's a lot of companies that get it,
• 43:35
  right? And there are companies that get
• 43:38
  it, right? I don't lose the faith.
• 43:40
  There are companies that get it, right.
• 43:41
  But there's, there's my feel that, there's many companies
• 43:43
  that take that really good idea and try and hide jacket and
• 43:48
  Janome and it's like not always. So whenever I think a good piece
• 43:56
  of advice, we could. We could probably both give
• 43:58
  anyone listening is if you're ever applying to a company pay
• 44:02
  attention to what people are saying about the company and how
• 44:12
  like for instance if you let's say you walk into into a Room
• 44:18
  around a business headquarters, or something like that and you
• 44:21
  see all the people and you see just to pay attention to how
• 44:24
  they look their body language, things like that.
• 44:26
  Do they look comfortable? Are they talking to each other?
• 44:28
  Do they look happy? Or do they look miserable?
• 44:31
  Do they are they watching the clock?
• 44:32
  You know, you can, you can tell and don't get me wrong, it's
• 44:36
  easy to put on an impression. But a lot of the time you can
• 44:39
  see through things, you can see what the reality is.
• 44:41
  And I think That's the biggest Telltale you go look for it.
• 44:46
  It's true. I have a great story about that
• 44:49
  because I feel the same way I've always in organizations that I
• 44:52
  belong to, I was on the welcoming committee even a
• 44:55
  church. I like to include people because
• 44:59
  people, you know, when they go in, it is uncomfortable.
• 45:03
  But this great story, I belong to an organization.
• 45:06
  I belong to a lot of organizations, by the way, but
• 45:10
  this particular organization, it was Climber quite a long time
• 45:14
  ago. But anyway, it was this great
• 45:17
  organization and we had this Gathering and I saw this
• 45:23
  beautiful black woman standing and I said, are you having fun?
• 45:27
  She's a know. This is the most closed group
• 45:29
  I've ever seen in my life. I said we're going to fix it.
• 45:33
  So I took her around and I introduce her to everyone.
• 45:37
  This was one of the most talented persons great business
• 45:42
  Had, I mean she was really amazing.
• 45:46
  So she was included in everything within two years.
• 45:50
  She was the president of the organization and so it's really
• 45:54
  that thrilled me to no end not because of her color but because
• 45:59
  that you know, it's one little thing and I'm not paying myself
• 46:02
  on the back except that I am. I'm thrilled that yes, celebrate
• 46:08
  yourself. Why don't I get?
• 46:11
  You know that's that's what. Before, thank you for sharing is
• 46:15
  so important at the. I think they're this is
• 46:18
  something I learned over the years as well.
• 46:20
  Like you need to, we need to look out for each other and it's
• 46:25
  not just a cliche thing of like or come on everybody look out
• 46:29
  for your fellow man, you know. It's got to be like a A way of
• 46:34
  looking at life, you know, a way of understanding life like you
• 46:38
  come first and foremost in terms of like, you gotta look out for
• 46:41
  number one, you got to look out for your best interests and make
• 46:44
  sure you are happy. But if you're happy and you're
• 46:48
  in a good space, then you got to help other people to get to that
• 46:54
  space, you know, like I often prisoners at my last guess we
• 46:57
  were talking about empathy and I was saying how, you know, when
• 47:01
  it comes to lifting people up, it's a lot like watering a
• 47:04
  plant, you know, if a plant will starts to, will you water into
• 47:08
  it raises up here and it's the same principle with with people,
• 47:12
  isn't it? You know, and that we're going
• 47:15
  to have bad days, you know, especially in workplaces, you're
• 47:17
  going to have days where you just not 100%, and that Could be
• 47:21
  personal reasons. It could be just mental health,
• 47:24
  reasons, depression, whatever it could be a myriad of different
• 47:27
  reasons. And the way to combat that is to
• 47:33
  look out for one another and then just talk and communicate
• 47:36
  and show that you are interested in the happiness and
• 47:42
  comfortability of others. It's being aware is really what
• 47:48
  you're saying is being aware of the people around you.
• 47:52
  And you're right week, notice that this person saw.
• 47:55
  So, you know, I can say, how can I help you?
• 47:58
  You know what, you know, what is going on?
• 48:01
  Or is there something that I can do to help you or you know, the
• 48:04
  next day you can bring a nice card or something for that
• 48:07
  person. It's little things that make all
• 48:10
  the difference in the world, you know, I am so blessed.
• 48:13
  I have a lot of friends. I am not really that out and I'm
• 48:18
  so grateful and I have friends that send me cards all the time,
• 48:24
  just, you know, I'm so glad you're in my life, whatever.
• 48:27
  But really, those that are things are really important to
• 48:31
  Middle. Think make all the difference in
• 48:33
  the world and we never know that our words can uplift.
• 48:38
  Your person's J. It's true.
• 48:41
  It really, really is Amazing stuff.
• 48:46
  Let's talk about your book. We mentioned it a little bit
• 48:49
  before the books called from Outhouse to Penthouse.
• 48:54
  Yes. what would you say are the main things that why should
• 49:02
  people read this book? What can they get from this
• 49:04
  book? They can't be inspired, they can
• 49:09
  know that. Anything is impossible.
• 49:11
  It doesn't matter where you come from.
• 49:13
  It's really what you decide you're going to do with your
• 49:16
  life and perseverance. So it's inspiring.
• 49:19
  I mean do you want me to talk a little bit about the book shit?
• 49:22
  Yes, please please stay. Yeah, I think it's really
• 49:25
  important for people to know. I mean, because many of the
• 49:29
  people I've now was just as an adult, a successful
• 49:32
  businesswoman. So they think, you know, you
• 49:35
  could think was She had it all going for her all of her life
• 49:38
  and, you know, silver spoon. That's not the case.
• 49:42
  The case is, when my mother was 14, she went to a picnic and met
• 49:49
  a cute boy, and he pulled her in the woods and raped her.
• 49:53
  And he threatened her and said, if you tell your parents, I'm
• 49:56
  going to come and kill them. So she was promised her and she
• 49:59
  was 14 years old. So, she didn't tell anyone
• 50:04
  because she was afraid that he would come and kill her parents.
• 50:08
  And when she was about, Six months old are six months along
• 50:14
  her stepmother. Wanted her to have an abortion.
• 50:17
  Now, this is the back Hills of Arkansas.
• 50:20
  Think of this. There were seven kids her mother
• 50:24
  died. When she was 5, there were seven
• 50:26
  kids, her father, married a woman.
• 50:30
  Who had three kids? So, there were 10 kids and two
• 50:34
  adults, and this Shack with a hard dirt floor, no electricity,
• 50:39
  no running water and an outhouse, a back.
• 50:44
  So, you know, just for somebody to pay attention to you was
• 50:47
  really something. When she was six months long,
• 50:52
  her stepmother saw that she was pregnant and she wanted her to
• 50:56
  have an abortion by this back Country Doctor or this country.
• 51:00
  And she reviews. Now this is a woman, the father
• 51:04
  made all the girls quit when they were in the eighth grade
• 51:06
  because they felt they were going to be Farmers wise and
• 51:09
  they didn't need an education. So this is a person that worked
• 51:13
  in the fields since the eighth grade probably 12 or so.
• 51:21
  And so she refused. Now this is a person that didn't
• 51:24
  have any education, didn't have anything but she knew that she
• 51:27
  wasn't going to have an abortion.
• 51:29
  Well they didn't want another mouth to feed.
• 51:33
  So they found a man that she could marry. well, I am the
• 51:39
  product of this rape and I was born in that house with hard
• 51:45
  dirt for no electricity, no running water and an outhouse
• 51:49
  out back and so it really was Something.
• 51:54
  So, she married, the man that they found for her to marry, he
• 51:58
  wanted to get out of the draft. And so, she got married and went
• 52:03
  away with him and had another little girl, 23 months later by
• 52:08
  him. Well, the problem was he drank
• 52:12
  and he took all of the money. So she had to pick cotton
• 52:16
  pulling this really 50-pound sack with the baby on her back.
• 52:21
  And her sister was watching me. So, to put food on the table.
• 52:28
  And she just had enough. And this is really a great
• 52:31
  structure. So and you could not do this
• 52:33
  today, but she wrote to the draft and said, my husband needs
• 52:39
  to be grafted he worked, but he takes, he drinks and he takes
• 52:43
  all of my cotton-picking money. She sent this to the draft board
• 52:49
  and this was a long time ago. And within three months, he was
• 52:53
  drafted into the army, which could never happen today because
• 52:59
  we have all of the computers. But, I mean, evidently somebody
• 53:02
  felt sorry for her and so he went into the service.
• 53:08
  When this is another thing and I think it's really important to
• 53:11
  know what shapes and I say to people that we all have one
• 53:15
  thing, many are sometimes several things that really
• 53:19
  impact our lives that that we say we're going to never do
• 53:22
  anything or we're going to do something or we're, you know,
• 53:26
  we're never going to be like that when my sister and I were
• 53:30
  visiting, my mother worked as a waitress, my sister.
• 53:32
  And I were visiting my grandparents in Arkansas.
• 53:35
  I was four and a half and she was two and a half.
• 53:40
  And the man who I didn't know was my I thought was my father
• 53:44
  came in and his army sir soon. He was home from the, it was
• 53:48
  Christmas time and he was home from the Army.
• 53:52
  And he picked up my sister, brought her a DA and a pearl
• 53:56
  necklace, necklace and nothing for me.
• 54:01
  It was like I didn't exist. How do you process this when
• 54:04
  you're four and a half? I went into the kitchen and aunt
• 54:08
  said to me honey, don't you worry?
• 54:10
  That's not your daddy anyway. I didn't know how to process
• 54:16
  that. I'll so it was that moment
• 54:20
  though that made me the person that I am incensed part of me
• 54:25
  and that is our decided at that moment that I was going to be so
• 54:29
  cute. So smart so strong.
• 54:31
  So everything that no one could ever ignore me again.
• 54:35
  And actually that particular incident made me an overachiever
• 54:39
  and prune really working to prove my worth for a good part
• 54:42
  of my My adult life or younger adult line.
• 54:47
  So I like for everyone to sort of think about it, there could
• 54:51
  be several, it could be, you know, 5 7, 9 12 with that.
• 54:57
  You've heard this over and over again.
• 54:59
  You're no good. Are you're so smart or whatever
• 55:02
  it is you take this on and many people.
• 55:07
  Take that particular situation and decide the rest of their
• 55:12
  life. I'm going.
• 55:13
  Be so successful. I'm going to be, you know, I'm
• 55:15
  no good my dad says or whatever it is.
• 55:19
  But I really like for people to stop and think what impacted
• 55:23
  your life, what made you decide to be the person that you're
• 55:27
  going to be, it really is a great thinking.
• 55:32
  Thought processes, you can even write it down the different
• 55:34
  things that stick out in your mind that made you decide.
• 55:41
  To adopt habits that that was instilled upon you.
• 55:50
  Thank you so much for sharing that.
• 55:54
  I know it's not easy to share such personal stories, but I
• 55:58
  think it's smart, it's not hard anymore at all.
• 56:01
  Because I've learned so much as a result and that I can say that
• 56:07
  incident was really one of the helpful things, even though I
• 56:11
  did, you know, I succeeded a lot because proving my worth that I
• 56:15
  am good enough. It doesn't matter who my dad is.
• 56:18
  Is this? So I can say it's I attribute
• 56:22
  that to my being able to be a massive success.
• 56:27
  One thing that's always amazed me over the years is that often
• 56:30
  the people with the hardest lives. turn out to just be like,
• 56:37
  They turn it into a positive. Like, literally, your story is
• 56:40
  is turning difficulties in life and Turning that into something
• 56:46
  positive. It's like choosing not to say
• 56:50
  live life as like I'm going to be a victim and I want sympathy,
• 56:53
  it's like, no, you know what? I'm gonna pursue and make the
• 56:58
  most out of life and get everything from it.
• 57:00
  And I'm never gonna, as you said, I allow someone to tell me
• 57:04
  my wife to tell me that I'm nothing Etc.
• 57:07
  It's like I think that's such an important lesson in life, isn't
• 57:10
  it? It's like continued to know your
• 57:12
  Worth to know the worth of others to know that.
• 57:15
  We always said, we can do what we want to do in life and that
• 57:19
  no one gets to tell us what our worth is or to tell us that we
• 57:24
  can't do something because I mean, obviously I've had a
• 57:29
  different opinion, bringing to yourself but one thing I can say
• 57:32
  is that I think I've always been stubborn and other plenty of
• 57:35
  people. Tell me less than Pleasant
• 57:39
  things. I think for me when I was
• 57:41
  growing up, a big thing was and this was not from parents or
• 57:45
  anything. I'm like that.
• 57:45
  They were they were lovely. It was from other people.
• 57:48
  Yes. School teachers, so-called
• 57:50
  friends, bullies Etc. Was this idea of not believing
• 57:58
  that I was very intelligent or and not believing that I was
• 58:03
  able to do certain things. And obviously when you hear that
• 58:08
  continuously it's like it's like a mantra, isn't it?
• 58:11
  You start believing it. You start thinking oh, well I
• 58:13
  guess I'm just, I'm this, I'm not able to do this.
• 58:17
  Like a big example is music. I had people tell me, you know,
• 58:23
  you're tone deaf, can't sing at all.
• 58:25
  You'll never be able to do this. We can do this.
• 58:28
  You can't do this. Excuse me.
• 58:30
  And I find it funny now because it'll be easy as later.
• 58:37
  I'm now able to sing it falsetto level not perfectly, you know.
• 58:43
  I think I'll always be like, an okay singer but I proved them
• 58:48
  wrong and I think a big part of it, part that motivation
• 58:53
  stubbornness was that journey of just continuously, trying to
• 58:56
  prove people wrong and prove them wrong.
• 58:58
  And then there's it is, it's kind of a Bittersweet moment.
• 59:01
  When you realize, when you get to that point, you know what I
• 59:04
  mean? It's like you, you finally
• 59:05
  achieve those things. Will you overcome that belief
• 59:09
  within yourself and then you're like oh my God, they were always
• 59:14
  wrong. I just didn't believe in myself
• 59:20
  and now I do and it's as well as say.
• 59:23
  Like, it always believe in yourself.
• 59:26
  It's the really is the most important thing you can do
• 59:29
  because it's amazing how people can Crush that and take that
• 59:32
  away from you. Yes, it really is in, you know,
• 59:35
  you can be proud of yourself because you made a decision, you
• 59:38
  didn't let all of the others, you know, it could have for a
• 59:42
  while, but you had the strength within you to Come what anybody
• 59:47
  else and believe in yourself and you probably had good parents
• 59:51
  who helped you to believe in yourself.
• 59:53
  I think made my mum share a massive stubbornness which helps
• 59:58
  it's like. When someone says you can't do
• 1:00:01
  this, it's like, oh, really. Okay, then we'll see what's it
• 1:00:06
  brother? Well, I'd like to tell you
• 1:00:11
  another story about my mother which is really a great.
• 1:00:15
  It's really Yeah, I think it's inspiring her husband got out of
• 1:00:20
  the service and he came by and said he wanted to divorce.
• 1:00:24
  He didn't want children. And she was working at a
• 1:00:28
  restaurant at night time and her sister.
• 1:00:31
  Watched my sister and I and so we were at my grandparents again
• 1:00:37
  and it was summertime this time and she was coming to get us in.
• 1:00:41
  So her friend that she worked with said, I have a car, I will
• 1:00:44
  take you. And so they were driving and
• 1:00:47
  driving fast. And we're about 70 miles an hour
• 1:00:50
  and hit a concrete abutment bridge, crushed her.
• 1:00:55
  From the waist down. They had to cut her out of the
• 1:00:58
  car. They could not, they couldn't
• 1:01:01
  get her out of the car until they cut off everything.
• 1:01:03
  And so they didn't expect her to live.
• 1:01:06
  She was crushed for her waist down every bone in her legs, her
• 1:01:10
  pelvis, everything was broken. She was in the hospital for over
• 1:01:16
  a year for 13 months. Wow, if your legs and cast up in
• 1:01:21
  the air, I mean how she live now.
• 1:01:23
  She was 20 years old. And think about this 20 years
• 1:01:28
  old at that time. After 12 months, gangrene set in
• 1:01:33
  to her left leg and the psychiatrist came in.
• 1:01:37
  And this chosen by my mother to tell her that they had to
• 1:01:41
  amputate her last name. Because gangrene has said in,
• 1:01:45
  and she said, you were, you have to do, I have to get out of
• 1:01:49
  here? I have two little girls to raise
• 1:01:54
  So, that's the courage that she had.
• 1:01:57
  She got out of the hospital. She had two kids, one leg, and
• 1:02:03
  no money. We were on welfare and we lived
• 1:02:05
  in Section 8, housing, Nothing. We had nothing and so She
• 1:02:16
  decided she did not want to be on welfare.
• 1:02:19
  So she found a government program.
• 1:02:20
  So this is resilience, this is resilience.
• 1:02:24
  She found a government program that taught people how to do it
• 1:02:28
  with disabilities to choose a different profession.
• 1:02:31
  And so, she went to school on a bus with crutches because her
• 1:02:38
  leg had to heal for over a year, learning to be a secretary in
• 1:02:42
  office. And she was fitted with a
• 1:02:46
  prosthesis so that's determination and that's really
• 1:02:49
  what I would like to really have the audience know.
• 1:02:53
  It really isn't what you've been don't is really what you decide
• 1:02:57
  to do about it. Absolutely amazing.
• 1:03:04
  Sometimes, I find myself listening to stories on this
• 1:03:06
  show about people's lives and I find myself kind of speechless,
• 1:03:11
  and this is one of those moments.
• 1:03:13
  I think it's as one of the reasons why I do this show
• 1:03:19
  actually, it's because I love to hear about people's lives and
• 1:03:23
  stories and I think it's a the sort of thing that it's
• 1:03:30
  important to know about other people's trials and tribulations
• 1:03:33
  in life and struggles because I think it teaches you about your
• 1:03:37
  own life about other people's lives about the fact that as you
• 1:03:41
  say, resiliency is such a big thing in life, you know some
• 1:03:47
  like sometimes courage and strength is just getting on a
• 1:03:51
  bus every single day, getting up in the morning and just go just
• 1:03:55
  to just getting out of bed, sometimes it really does come
• 1:03:58
  down to that and Wow, what an amazing woman.
• 1:04:02
  Your mother was just pure white and she never felt sorry for
• 1:04:06
  her. So this is what is so amazing to
• 1:04:08
  me even today. She never felt sorry for her.
• 1:04:10
  So she sang gospel songs all day long.
• 1:04:13
  And I think it was just Sue's yourself but never felt sorry
• 1:04:17
  for her. So, now this is a person that
• 1:04:19
  could have felt. Sorry for her son.
• 1:04:21
  I mean, she didn't have a lot of things going for her at all, but
• 1:04:24
  she took it and made something out of it.
• 1:04:28
  Did she ever say to you? Did you ever Oscar like how she
• 1:04:33
  kept going and despite of that, because I think it would have
• 1:04:35
  been very easy and fair that she could have complained, she could
• 1:04:38
  have been angry upset, you know, obviously, you come from a
• 1:04:41
  religious background, I imagine it would have been very easy to
• 1:04:45
  be like wool to even lose your religion at a time.
• 1:04:47
  Like that when life is following you, so many generally mean,
• 1:04:51
  like so many different challenges and it doesn't seem
• 1:04:55
  fair. Like, how do you stay positive?
• 1:04:58
  How did she stay positive? How did she stay up there?
• 1:05:01
  It really always amazes me to because there were so many
• 1:05:04
  things and there and in the book there's a lot there's a lot more
• 1:05:07
  of different challenges that she had and and I did as a result.
• 1:05:14
  And so we have choices, we can decide, you know, I decided that
• 1:05:18
  I was going to really make something of myself and I even
• 1:05:22
  learned to so when I was young because I would go to Goodwill
• 1:05:25
  and buy something for 25 cents and then carry it apart and make
• 1:05:28
  it. So, a woman down the street
• 1:05:30
  taught me how to So I was 12 years old, I was going to have
• 1:05:34
  nice clothes no matter what so we can find a way.
• 1:05:37
  If you have a determination we can find a way.
• 1:05:40
  And so getting back to what made her.
• 1:05:42
  I don't know what made her posit.
• 1:05:44
  I know her faith. I know her singing suture but
• 1:05:47
  she had a really great deep faith that that, you know,
• 1:05:51
  nothing is impossible and it really is true.
• 1:05:55
  I mean, there might be some circumstances in life, but very
• 1:05:58
  few. Incredible.
• 1:06:02
  I will say actually because as I was asking that question, I
• 1:06:04
  think a big thing, especially for a mother as well to keep
• 1:06:08
  going, is her children. You know, it's sometimes it's
• 1:06:12
  like, It stops being about you and it starts being about, like,
• 1:06:17
  I loved it. When I hear people talk about
• 1:06:19
  having children, they often say particularly mothers that that
• 1:06:24
  is then the most important thing in their life and suddenly,
• 1:06:27
  their happiness is not as important.
• 1:06:29
  As like, for instance, I remember my mum used to tell me
• 1:06:32
  stories about when I was young. If she didn't have any money,
• 1:06:36
  she would skip meals to make sure that I could eat, which I
• 1:06:40
  obviously felt bad about. When I was old.
• 1:06:41
  I was I, oh my God, I can't believe you did that and she
• 1:06:44
  It's kind of made it seem like, well, of course you would do
• 1:06:46
  that. Like, that's just what we had to
• 1:06:48
  do, and it just blew my mind because I think.
• 1:06:59
  If you haven't had children, I'm not so, I'm not saying it's a
• 1:07:03
  prerequisite of being a selfless, selfless person
• 1:07:06
  because it's not, but I do think it helps you to appreciate. the
• 1:07:11
  needs of others, and why it's important to To be there for
• 1:07:18
  people in every sense of the word, you know?
• 1:07:20
  And that it's not just about buying things or providing, it's
• 1:07:25
  just it's the emotional stuff. Like I think probably the
• 1:07:28
  biggest lesson we can learn from your mother as far as like life
• 1:07:33
  lessons in general. It's not about just about the
• 1:07:35
  resiliency, and the positivity is, it's also about Emotion
• 1:07:40
  being emotionally headstrong because I would, I would
• 1:07:42
  imagine, especially when she didn't have a partner by her
• 1:07:45
  side. There were probably many moments
• 1:07:47
  tough moments when she was on her own and she's thinking like,
• 1:07:49
  how am I going to make it? How am I going to keep going?
• 1:07:52
  How am I going to provide? You know, and it's then it's a
• 1:07:55
  battle with yourself. Then the challenges, your own
• 1:07:59
  mental health. And all of course, you know,
• 1:08:00
  we're talking at a time when, you know, you didn't have like,
• 1:08:03
  oh, I can just go to the therapist and talk about these
• 1:08:07
  things, like there wasn't anything like that.
• 1:08:09
  If there was you know, maybe it was reserved for the highest
• 1:08:11
  people in society or whatever. Like the everyday person didn't
• 1:08:15
  have that option so you just expected to just get on with it.
• 1:08:20
  You know. And Society was a lot more.
• 1:08:24
  I would say that bit tougher, you know what people like for
• 1:08:27
  instance here in the UK, we had this old woman tally of I'm sure
• 1:08:32
  you've heard of like the stiff-upper-lip British, you
• 1:08:34
  know, you need to take it on the chin.
• 1:08:36
  So the thing and I used to I used to think that that was As a
• 1:08:39
  positive thing I used to think. Oh yeah, you know that stiff
• 1:08:42
  upper lip and, you know, we take it on the chin, but actually,
• 1:08:45
  that's kind of a bad thing. Like, in the sense that what
• 1:08:48
  that really means when you break it down, his people were putting
• 1:08:51
  aside their own. Troubles and things that they
• 1:08:56
  should really be addressing because they had to because of
• 1:09:00
  the pressure because people didn't talk about those things,
• 1:09:04
  you know? And it wasn't done and there was
• 1:09:06
  a pressure from society, family and others.
• 1:09:08
  It's like I'm sure everyone would have wanted to get in the
• 1:09:10
  room and just share stories about, you know what?
• 1:09:13
  This is hard like, sucks. This is this ready really hard?
• 1:09:17
  But just you just didn't do that.
• 1:09:20
  And luckily, we now are in a time when we can talk about
• 1:09:23
  these these things and we can share these things and we can we
• 1:09:26
  can and Yeah, just amazing. Just really, really amazing
• 1:09:32
  story. Thank you, thank you so much for
• 1:09:34
  sharing and I can. Now the more you tell me about
• 1:09:38
  this, now I'm just thinking back to what you said at the very
• 1:09:40
  beginning about about this book, becoming a movie.
• 1:09:43
  And I think It really is a story that should be should be told
• 1:09:49
  and I'm so grateful that you've you've shared it here.
• 1:09:53
  So thank you for that. Let's let's move it forward.
• 1:09:58
  Got a few random questions for you, your motto.
• 1:10:03
  I thought, I thought this is quite interesting is failure, is
• 1:10:05
  not an option 3 and I get where you're coming from on this, But
• 1:10:11
  one thing I wanted to ask you is a two-part question.
• 1:10:14
  The first question is How did this become your motto?
• 1:10:19
  And the second question is, D, you do not believe in the idea
• 1:10:25
  of failure at all because I think, sometimes in life, you do
• 1:10:29
  have to know when to call it quits, not because you're giving
• 1:10:32
  up on things completely. But because, you know, sometimes
• 1:10:35
  it's just not possible to do something in a moment or
• 1:10:37
  sometimes. Failure is leading us to a
• 1:10:41
  bigger success later down the line.
• 1:10:42
  So those are might sort of two questions to you like what your
• 1:10:46
  thoughts on that right? Failure you really need
• 1:10:49
  everybody needs to fail in order to know.
• 1:10:52
  About 100 wins their. It really is I think knowing
• 1:10:55
  when to quit hmm you know I have a tendency to push myself really
• 1:11:03
  Beyond when I should have quit. So I am aware actually that can
• 1:11:09
  be a detriment to me because I pushed Beyond really what was
• 1:11:16
  possible. So it's really having the
• 1:11:18
  wherewithal to know, okay? This is not working.
• 1:11:21
  It's time for me to make a move and to go on to something else
• 1:11:25
  but I think it's really important to fail so that you
• 1:11:28
  know you're not Superman or whatever.
• 1:11:30
  That Really? This is part of learning so what
• 1:11:33
  can we learn from that? So when so this is what I'm
• 1:11:36
  saying. Failure is not an option but we
• 1:11:39
  can quit. But what can we learn from that?
• 1:11:43
  There is something good to learn from that experience want.
• 1:11:47
  Maybe I should have given up sooner or a lot of other things,
• 1:11:50
  but it's really important. So that's how I really present
• 1:11:55
  that. I don't mean that we can't fail
• 1:11:57
  because we are must and we all have Is really what can we learn
• 1:12:03
  from that? So therefore it's not a failure.
• 1:12:08
  If we learn from that experience.
• 1:12:10
  So it's really all in how you look at everything.
• 1:12:14
  Yeah. Yeah, perception is key.
• 1:12:18
  What was the other part? Oh right.
• 1:12:23
  Well I guess. It was if to Butler, I guess I
• 1:12:28
  wanted to know if there was like, a particular story behind
• 1:12:31
  how that became your motto, like a sometimes that when you're, in
• 1:12:35
  a certain saying, becomes your, you're saying, it's because of
• 1:12:39
  particular thing that's happened in Life or circumstances, there
• 1:12:44
  have been a lot of circumstances.
• 1:12:48
  Actually, there are several but I will tell you in I I was
• 1:12:55
  fortunate to have a role model of a person who didn't give up.
• 1:12:58
  Now I do want to say too many people, they may not have had
• 1:13:03
  that kind of role model. I feel that I was really blessed
• 1:13:07
  beyond measure to really have the a great role model.
• 1:13:11
  Now everyone has Role Models or whether it's good or bad.
• 1:13:15
  But from teachers from ants, from grandparents from a lot of
• 1:13:19
  different people. They take those Role Models.
• 1:13:22
  So, I don't want Bunny to ever feel bad because they didn't
• 1:13:25
  have a mother that were was a role model because there are
• 1:13:28
  many people who are not nurturing.
• 1:13:31
  So I really always want to say that and I didn't want to tell
• 1:13:38
  you a little bit about the store because I think this too is
• 1:13:42
  something. But again, it's because I
• 1:13:44
  learned from my mother but you can learn from, you know, you
• 1:13:47
  could even have a wealthy person that just doesn't even know
• 1:13:50
  about you to be a role model. I do.
• 1:13:53
  So it's really, we can search for role model.
• 1:13:57
  I really want. I thought that was really
• 1:13:59
  important to say that we can find a role model whether it be
• 1:14:03
  from a book, or from a grandparent, or from a teacher
• 1:14:08
  or from a friend or an answer. So a lot of people.
• 1:14:12
  So I really want, I don't want anyone to ever feel bad because
• 1:14:15
  their mother was not a role model for them.
• 1:14:18
  So that to me is a really important thing to say, I'll
• 1:14:22
  tell you a little bit about the store but I first want to tell
• 1:14:28
  you that everybody has a choice in how they choose to live a
• 1:14:31
  life. In my sister did not feel the
• 1:14:35
  same way and and I do want to say, I don't want to disrespect
• 1:14:39
  her. The thing of it is though, it's
• 1:14:42
  how it's choices that we make. And it's what we decide my
• 1:14:47
  sister decided. Poor me, I didn't have this.
• 1:14:50
  I didn't have that or whatever. I decided, Well, I didn't hear
• 1:14:53
  that but so what I'm going to find another way.
• 1:14:55
  So it's really how we look at things that my sister became an
• 1:14:59
  alcoholic and had two children and abandon her children, and
• 1:15:07
  then became a heroin addict and eventually died of an overdose.
• 1:15:11
  So, yes, it was, it was sad because this person actually she
• 1:15:17
  was brilliant. She had the IQ of a genius and
• 1:15:19
  she could have, you know, I don't have that IQ, but it's
• 1:15:23
  really, and I'd like everybody to think about that too.
• 1:15:26
  It's not really always about how smart you are.
• 1:15:29
  I feel is how determined you are.
• 1:15:34
  Now, I just feel that the world was she was too gentle for the
• 1:15:38
  world. I mean, she was really a great
• 1:15:40
  person. Would give you the shirt off her
• 1:15:41
  back, but she was too gentle for the world.
• 1:15:46
  That's really hard to describe it.
• 1:15:47
  So I don't know how much time we have that but there's a few
• 1:15:52
  things that are really I think really important.
• 1:15:57
  My husband and I I had a store and and so I wanted to to say,
• 1:16:01
  determination to show people, determination can make such a
• 1:16:05
  difference in life in your life. I wanted to help my sister have
• 1:16:11
  an apartment and so she can get her kids back.
• 1:16:14
  And so my husband and I had a store that we service Peddlers,
• 1:16:17
  you know, people that that had street corners with it, they
• 1:16:21
  sold produce and we service them.
• 1:16:24
  So I was looking for a way to Make extra money that I would
• 1:16:28
  not take away from my family to give to my sister.
• 1:16:33
  So I saw these Peddlers we're making a lot of money, I thought
• 1:16:40
  I can do that. So I bought a big bread truck, a
• 1:16:45
  big bread truck and there was a problem I couldn't drive a stick
• 1:16:49
  shift but I learned I learned I'm going on a parking lot in
• 1:16:58
  there, so I rented an empty gravel lot in Illinois.
• 1:17:02
  A four-way stop. I learned how to drive the
• 1:17:07
  truck. I picked the fruit grows up and
• 1:17:11
  I went to my lat, my grab a lot and I had milk crates and I had
• 1:17:16
  Plywood And then I had an A-frame that I would paint with
• 1:17:21
  white shoe polish every day, the special of the day.
• 1:17:24
  I built such an enormous business.
• 1:17:27
  I did this for five years, I drove this truck every single
• 1:17:30
  day I was able to get my sister apartment and really helped my
• 1:17:33
  mother June Because she wants my children when I did this.
• 1:17:38
  That was the first example of determination, you know, many
• 1:17:43
  people would think well, that's about them.
• 1:17:45
  You know, I couldn't do that, but the point of it is nothing
• 1:17:50
  is above us. And I proved a point that was
• 1:17:52
  another one of my proofs that it doesn't matter what you can do
• 1:17:57
  it. So again, I made a lot of money
• 1:18:02
  and I did this for five years in a row and I'm, I have regular
• 1:18:06
  customers in there. Most people now I want to tell
• 1:18:09
  you this was a long time ago and I really not good.
• 1:18:11
  This blonde with cutoff jeans and her Straw Hat.
• 1:18:16
  It was, it was cute. So that's really how I got my
• 1:18:20
  start in really loving produce. And then my husband told the
• 1:18:27
  story. He went into host of mine and I
• 1:18:30
  decided I was looking for something to do.
• 1:18:33
  And I asked a Fun and Sun, if they would like to be partners
• 1:18:37
  with me in a fruit and produce store in st.
• 1:18:40
  Louis and they had a chance stores.
• 1:18:43
  And so they said, yes, they were open to him.
• 1:18:47
  And so our agreement was they would run the store because I
• 1:18:50
  didn't have as much experience in retail.
• 1:18:56
  And so that was our agreement, this was in 1981 when we made
• 1:19:02
  the agreement and we had the store really nice store that we
• 1:19:05
  built it really a great clientele.
• 1:19:10
  At the end of 1986 October 30th. As a matter of fact, my
• 1:19:16
  partner's wanted a meeting. Now, first of all, I take
• 1:19:19
  responsibility for this because I was not paying attention, I
• 1:19:21
  was really big into cherries and doing a lot of different things
• 1:19:25
  for a nonprofits. At the meeting they handed me
• 1:19:30
  the keys and said they were declaring bankruptcy.
• 1:19:35
  Well, their business had went bad soldier in the kind of
• 1:19:38
  faltered it was traumatic. It was shocking.
• 1:19:45
  I couldn't even catch my breath. I couldn't believe it.
• 1:19:51
  When I got into the books more, I saw that they had siphoned a
• 1:19:55
  lot of money now, I want everyone to know that I take
• 1:19:59
  responsibility for this. I was not watching, I was not
• 1:20:03
  paying attention. This is one really good thing to
• 1:20:05
  tell. Everyone always watch your
• 1:20:07
  business. It doesn't matter who you trust
• 1:20:10
  or anything else, always watch your business.
• 1:20:15
  But the amount of money they siphon was tremendous that the
• 1:20:20
  amount of money I owed in today's money is a million
• 1:20:23
  dollars. Wow, so I decided I was going to
• 1:20:29
  give it. My are die.
• 1:20:30
  Trying now that could have been, I don't know.
• 1:20:34
  So by the grace of God and working night and day, I
• 1:20:38
  eventually paid off all of that. Now, one of the most important
• 1:20:43
  things that I can never tell anyone, is it is so important to
• 1:20:48
  forgive because forgiveness is, like, taking unforgiveness is
• 1:20:52
  like taking poison and waiting. Waiting for the other person to
• 1:20:55
  die. I forgave my partners and they
• 1:20:58
  did it right away because I had to spend every ounce of my
• 1:21:04
  energy working at turning the store around.
• 1:21:08
  As I said, I prayed a lot. I would go to the park and pray
• 1:21:13
  when I went to the, I to the bank every day because we just
• 1:21:16
  had money for that day and working night and day.
• 1:21:21
  I eventually it took me 10 years to pay off that money.
• 1:21:27
  The store was doing very, very well and then I even developed a
• 1:21:32
  Homestyle business and then had trucks to deliver into
• 1:21:36
  restaurants. So, little by little in another
• 1:21:41
  thing, if you don't know something take a course, you
• 1:21:44
  know, I wanted to know everything so I took a, you
• 1:21:47
  know, I took all of these night courses on accounting and
• 1:21:51
  marketing and a lot of other courses because I wanted to be
• 1:21:56
  able to Able to do it. And no and not have someone
• 1:22:01
  else. Tell me.
• 1:22:01
  So I learned our lesson, always be involved in your business.
• 1:22:07
  I decided I was going to open a store, three times the signs
• 1:22:10
  after this, because it was limited as far as what I could
• 1:22:15
  sell and how much money we can make.
• 1:22:17
  So, I opened this door three times the size and that too was
• 1:22:23
  working night and day and turn that around into some really
• 1:22:28
  great stories. If, if people like and I won't
• 1:22:31
  tell them all, but there's some really great stories on
• 1:22:33
  marketing and how, you know, you find Need in Philly.
• 1:22:37
  So again by the grace of God built that business from 96 to
• 1:22:45
  2008 and turned it into 10 million dollars in sales.
• 1:22:49
  And then I sold it. Amazing.
• 1:22:57
  It really is after I look at a lot of things after the fact and
• 1:23:01
  see things were really amazing and the things I did were so
• 1:23:04
  ahead of the curve that I didn't know it.
• 1:23:07
  But again, I took courses at read books, I was going to find
• 1:23:09
  a way. To make the best of them.
• 1:23:15
  Other than your, the resiliency, I suppose trait that you learned
• 1:23:20
  from your mother. And so, it's like, how did you
• 1:23:23
  keep going? How did you?
• 1:23:26
  Because that's the thing, you say, five years, ten years,
• 1:23:29
  right? And people picture that in their
• 1:23:31
  mind, what that looks like. But, you know, often they forget
• 1:23:34
  that. You know, it's day in day out
• 1:23:37
  and there's these daily struggles.
• 1:23:38
  You have each day, and it's, it's a slog.
• 1:23:41
  It's, it's a journey, it's two marathons.
• 1:23:44
  Of race. How did you keep going in there?
• 1:23:49
  An and also, I just want to ask a little bit more about the
• 1:23:52
  biggest forgiveness aspect as well.
• 1:23:54
  Like, I agree with you. I think forgiveness is a concept
• 1:23:57
  that if you don't forgive someone it hurts, you more than
• 1:24:00
  it hurts the other person. But then again, it's it's a,
• 1:24:03
  it's a Grace thing, you know? I mean, I'm not a religious man,
• 1:24:06
  but I do believe in the concept. I think that it's a very
• 1:24:09
  powerful thing, but given that they put you in such a difficult
• 1:24:14
  call position. How did you forgive them
• 1:24:18
  straight away? Like Was it not anger or
• 1:24:22
  frustration upset? Like it was eating me up.
• 1:24:25
  There was so much anger frustration, and in unfairness,
• 1:24:29
  and all of these things, it was eating me up.
• 1:24:31
  And that's why I had to make that decision.
• 1:24:33
  Doesn't mean that I forgot it. It doesn't mean that could add
• 1:24:36
  really, I have to let that go because my, my, my aim was
• 1:24:40
  bigger than my forgiveness. My aim was to really have
• 1:24:45
  employees that that love what they did in be able to pay the
• 1:24:48
  employees. And so, it's really what you
• 1:24:50
  focus on expands. So I focused on being able to
• 1:24:53
  turn this tour around and every time I ever come to me I would
• 1:24:57
  think about what we are doing and how we what we have you know
• 1:25:01
  and what we can achieve rather than what.
• 1:25:04
  Again that's my favorite saying by the world word way what you
• 1:25:08
  focus on expands, the more you focus on Injustice and honest,
• 1:25:13
  it's going to expand the more you focus on making a difference
• 1:25:16
  being great, customer service, all of these things.
• 1:25:20
  Spans visits. Let The Law of Attraction,
• 1:25:23
  really? Isn't that what you said?
• 1:25:24
  Yeah. Well, you spend your time?
• 1:25:27
  Yes, I have to say like, I mean I feel almost City like bringing
• 1:25:34
  up my quote unquote. No Sense trouble is, but what
• 1:25:40
  are the things I often think about?
• 1:25:41
  Is the fact that like, with, in my life, the things I'm building
• 1:25:45
  the things I'm working towards there are many moments where I
• 1:25:49
  get frustrated and it's like, a god, this isn't happening, this
• 1:25:51
  isn't happening etcetera. But then I think back to what
• 1:25:55
  you just said, which is this idea of kind of looking at the
• 1:25:58
  bigger picture? See, in the things that are
• 1:26:01
  working and seeing how it is kind of a domino effect when you
• 1:26:06
  keep doing it, keep doing it. Keep doing it, like, for
• 1:26:09
  example, This podcast I might not be hitting the numbers that
• 1:26:15
  I want to hit but I tell you what, I've been having the time
• 1:26:18
  of my life in the last year or so just doing this because of
• 1:26:21
  the people I get to speak to and the stories that get shared like
• 1:26:25
  it. I mean it's in his inspiring
• 1:26:28
  Journey for me, just listening to Amazing Stories such as yours
• 1:26:31
  and kind of That in of itself is enough for me to just keep this
• 1:26:39
  show going, just because it's like a platform to share Amazing
• 1:26:43
  Stories. Amazing people.
• 1:26:45
  And even if just one person hears that and goes.
• 1:26:49
  Wow. Exactly.
• 1:26:51
  And then they go and do something amazing with their
• 1:26:53
  life. Like that is the power of just
• 1:26:57
  inspiration. Spiring people is this concept
• 1:27:00
  of just one person, one person, hears it, and then Comes the
• 1:27:07
  domino effect? Yes, I'd like to share a process
• 1:27:12
  that can help anyone and you two and me too.
• 1:27:16
  And that is when you have a negative or something comes,
• 1:27:20
  this is not working or whatever. In this is called craft.
• 1:27:23
  And it isn't something that I developed it was from the book,
• 1:27:26
  The psycho cybernetics by Maxwell maltz and c-raf G1
• 1:27:33
  letter on top of the other. You think the best experience
• 1:27:38
  that you've ever had in your life?
• 1:27:39
  The most excitement, maybe it wasn't Ward.
• 1:27:41
  Maybe it was just so much fun. You put that the, the sides to
• 1:27:46
  Sound and Music. Put yourself in that place and
• 1:27:49
  that day, and you put that in the top of your mind, and you
• 1:27:53
  can have more than one even if you want.
• 1:27:55
  So when this, oh, this is not going to work or, you know, this
• 1:27:59
  was hard or whatever. You can't judge, you craft.
• 1:28:04
  It, you stop it. You cancel this, thought, you go
• 1:28:11
  to that really great experience that you've had, then you
• 1:28:17
  reframe it, and you go back to this.
• 1:28:21
  You affirm this really great experience and get the sights,
• 1:28:26
  the sounds of feelings and everything and you focus on this
• 1:28:31
  great experience that you've had and then you train yourself to
• 1:28:34
  do it over and over again until you are able to stop that.
• 1:28:41
  You know, this is going to work youth, you think of the things
• 1:28:44
  that work and that was so exciting and so wonderful.
• 1:28:47
  So that's a way to really change and make new neural pathways.
• 1:28:52
  To positivity. Instead of - I teach that drove
• 1:28:56
  a lot of people and it's really a process that works.
• 1:28:59
  It's not again it's I attributed to that book but I've read
• 1:29:03
  thousands of books, that's where I've learned a lot of things.
• 1:29:07
  They say the where preconditions to to have negative thoughts to
• 1:29:12
  have negative mindsets and I think there is a degree of Truth
• 1:29:17
  in that. For example, I said earlier in
• 1:29:20
  the show, I'm a Of person. But that doesn't mean that I
• 1:29:23
  don't have negative thoughts. I do.
• 1:29:26
  For example, when people suggest things to me saying in my
• 1:29:31
  community online, they'll suggest have you tried this?
• 1:29:34
  The first thing that will come to my head is either either That
• 1:29:40
  didn't work because it's something I've already tried or
• 1:29:43
  it won't work. That's the first things that
• 1:29:45
  come to my head. Now years ago, it used to be
• 1:29:50
  just dismissing it like our, yeah, you know, it just won't
• 1:29:54
  work. There's no point trying, right.
• 1:29:55
  Which is crazy to think about in retrospect.
• 1:29:57
  Like now, like what that you just don't not gonna try like
• 1:30:01
  you what, but it's a process and you have to work on it.
• 1:30:07
  And now I can say It's the sort of thing where I will still have
• 1:30:12
  those thoughts but then I'm just like, I won't act on them.
• 1:30:14
  I'll be like, okay well I haven't tried it so let's try or
• 1:30:19
  if I have done it already. The first thing that will come
• 1:30:22
  to, my mind was okay, it didn't work last time, maybe it worked
• 1:30:26
  this time, maybe I'll try something different.
• 1:30:28
  This time. Maybe it's the timing.
• 1:30:30
  You know, it's that it's defeating that inner voice
• 1:30:35
  that's telling you that negative stuff and try and write Put
• 1:30:39
  yourself in that positive headspace we like, okay.
• 1:30:43
  That's The Sweet Spot. That's where you need to be,
• 1:30:46
  because that's good cliche to say.
• 1:30:49
  But that's where the magic happens.
• 1:30:50
  It's true. Like you want to be in that that
• 1:30:52
  head space because that's where you'll be able to create things
• 1:30:56
  and I truly believe that that's where your head space was
• 1:30:59
  throughout all those hard times that well, okay, this hard stuff
• 1:31:03
  is in front of me but I know it's going to be okay and yeah,
• 1:31:09
  let's keep going. It's Heavenly, yes, keep never.
• 1:31:12
  Quitting. So they've got a couple of final
• 1:31:16
  questions to ask for you. I could I could question you all
• 1:31:19
  Dave conscientious of time here. What's the best advice you've
• 1:31:25
  ever received? You know, one of the things when
• 1:31:34
  I had the bankruptcy, my attorney was sort of my role
• 1:31:38
  model to, he really was protective of me.
• 1:31:41
  I mean, he was like, this Bulldog that you couldn't say no
• 1:31:44
  to me. But, you know, so he was my
• 1:31:47
  mentor also. But he said to me, It's Only
• 1:31:52
  Money, you have your health, you're smart, you can make more
• 1:31:58
  money that was really one of the best advice that I've ever had.
• 1:32:03
  And it's so true. Think about this, it's only
• 1:32:07
  money, you have your health, you have it, you have your, you
• 1:32:11
  know, you're smart, you have your family, you have everything
• 1:32:14
  going for you. I agree and I like to this as
• 1:32:19
  well. And the last five years, I've
• 1:32:21
  learned a lot of life lessons and this is one of them as well
• 1:32:25
  as this idea that circumstances can change quicker than you
• 1:32:28
  think examining. That's the thing, like a lot of
• 1:32:31
  the time we think like our it will take forever.
• 1:32:34
  It will take forever. Sometimes things happen quickly.
• 1:32:37
  Like if you start let's say you start making Steps towards
• 1:32:42
  something that you want to change in life.
• 1:32:44
  Let's say you want to retrain, I don't know, let's say you want
• 1:32:46
  to become, I don't know an accountant, right?
• 1:32:52
  And you're in something completely different and your
• 1:32:55
  concerns are. Well, I'm working all the time.
• 1:32:58
  How am I going to do it? Okay, well look there's
• 1:33:00
  different hours in the day. Take a night course or take an
• 1:33:03
  online course, you know, and then you start doing the course.
• 1:33:07
  And then you complete the course and you know, okay, and then you
• 1:33:11
  get a job and then you quit the job that you have and now you
• 1:33:14
  are going to count it and you're doing what you love, you know.
• 1:33:17
  It's like those little steps to get to that, that bigger goal.
• 1:33:21
  And before, you know it, your life is completely changed and
• 1:33:23
  then you look back and it's like six months later and you're
• 1:33:25
  like, oh, I can't believe I ever doubted the process or anything
• 1:33:29
  like it's but that's the thing. It's that willingness to take
• 1:33:32
  that first step and to keep moving forward and You know, you
• 1:33:37
  don't always see the process straight away.
• 1:33:39
  I mentioned on, I mentioned on the show.
• 1:33:42
  Recently, the ivory joined the gym recently and I'm not seeing
• 1:33:47
  the progress straight. I have noticed a little bit here
• 1:33:49
  and there but it's not exactly in the areas I want it.
• 1:33:52
  And I know that Jim is one of those perfect example, because I
• 1:33:55
  think the funny thing about Jim is it such a great metaphor for
• 1:33:58
  life. If you don't go to the gym or
• 1:34:01
  you don't train, I really recommend you do it not just for
• 1:34:03
  health reasons but because it will teach you so much about
• 1:34:06
  Life and yourself, and just, Just Fitness in general taking
• 1:34:10
  care of yourself. It really does teach me about
• 1:34:12
  life and it for me, it teaches me patience and consistency and
• 1:34:18
  all these important lessons. So yeah, brilliant stuff.
• 1:34:22
  Your cure is, I do the same thing.
• 1:34:25
  In fact I speak on the four pillars of health and how to
• 1:34:27
  live it Peak potential. I'm a real big HealthNet.
• 1:34:30
  I was the first person in St Louis to bring in our gang Foods
• 1:34:33
  bike in 2001. So I I've been out in sorry,
• 1:34:37
  nobody knew about it. So I had to start teaching and
• 1:34:40
  training of so, but it's so true.
• 1:34:44
  You know, if you do not keep up with all of the things that go
• 1:34:48
  into you in there are canning Foods, what the self, trunk.
• 1:34:52
  Many other things, then you will not live.
• 1:34:56
  If he could control your life, I mean, if you look at older
• 1:34:59
  people, you know, they're heavy, you know, they sit down and
• 1:35:03
  watch television all the time, a lot of other things.
• 1:35:06
  And I Consider myself in that class that arm.
• 1:35:10
  It's funny, isn't it like? Yeah, it all comes down to
• 1:35:14
  Choice. Like, I think about always, it's
• 1:35:18
  like, for instance, what you're talking about with regards to
• 1:35:21
  the? Yeah, you say that people get
• 1:35:22
  older, they retire. They stop moving.
• 1:35:25
  They stop doing things and it's like, I understand wanting to
• 1:35:30
  rest after it like a long lifetime of hard labor and work,
• 1:35:35
  but life doesn't just end German life, just life goes on until
• 1:35:41
  the moment you die. That's when it ends and then.
• 1:35:45
  So, why would you stop? Why not keep going.
• 1:35:48
  I mean, I think my, my total, you know, I think I like my
• 1:35:52
  personal opinion is I cannot live long enough to learn all
• 1:35:56
  the things. I take many courses, I am really
• 1:35:59
  Bound, in Charities, I'm involved with mentoring.
• 1:36:02
  I'm involved in doing podcasts and movie.
• 1:36:04
  So I have so Anna, right, I'm going to another book to, by the
• 1:36:07
  way, it's called it's a good day to have a good day and be out in
• 1:36:11
  the phone and its really positivity.
• 1:36:13
  It's different information, nothing like the first book.
• 1:36:15
  So so anyway if person to be passionate about life is so
• 1:36:21
  important because the older, you get, you have a lot of knowledge
• 1:36:25
  and you have a lot of knowledge to share and if you Stop it.
• 1:36:29
  My goodness. What a waste. yeah, I mean it's
• 1:36:34
  almost like giving up on life in a way, which is kind of crazy
• 1:36:37
  but I get it, you know, I get that not everyone is in the same
• 1:36:40
  head space and it I said, I think I decided early on that.
• 1:36:46
  I actually not only on. No, that's a lie.
• 1:36:51
  Again, in the last five years, I've kind of figured out that
• 1:36:54
  I'm a workaholic. I love to work.
• 1:36:56
  I live to work not that I love what I love doing, what
• 1:37:01
  passionate about. I should yes Miku, right?
• 1:37:04
  Yes. And I remember hearing this
• 1:37:06
  saying, I think it might mean. Christopher Lee the actor who
• 1:37:09
  said he wanted to die with his boots trapped on and I love that
• 1:37:13
  concept, this idea of just you work till the end and as you
• 1:37:16
  said, there's never enough time, there's never enough time, but
• 1:37:19
  you got to just For things and like to experience behind other
• 1:37:23
  Tremor. I mean, my daughter and I went
• 1:37:25
  to Europe in Spain and in Jamaica and so many other
• 1:37:29
  places. But so there's so many things in
• 1:37:31
  life that you can really find Joy.
• 1:37:35
  I went ziplining several years ago in Jamaica and then Mexico
• 1:37:39
  so lots of fun in life. Uh-huh.
• 1:37:43
  Absolutely. You got to make the most of it,
• 1:37:48
  just another question for you as well.
• 1:37:49
  What's the biggest life lesson? And you've learned so far.
• 1:37:57
  Everyday live life full out as if it's your last day enjoying
• 1:38:02
  this moment. This time live like for my goals
• 1:38:06
  in life is to live life full out.
• 1:38:10
  Healthy touches, many people in positive ways.
• 1:38:13
  I possibly can to live a life of significance.
• 1:38:16
  In to leave a legacy of positivity, incredible, thank
• 1:38:21
  you. As we draw things to a close for
• 1:38:24
  today. Do you have any upcoming
• 1:38:25
  projects or some final thoughts that you'd like to share with
• 1:38:27
  our listeners? Watch the movie and it will
• 1:38:31
  probably be closer to years but watch for my new book.
• 1:38:35
  But yes, everybody can go to my website Tessa Greenspan.com and
• 1:38:41
  look on it and this will be on one of the things on it.
• 1:38:44
  And follow me on Facebook if you want to have a daily inspiration
• 1:38:50
  some time and just live life full out every single day.
• 1:38:57
  Look for the good in life. Brilliant.
• 1:39:01
  It's been an absolute honor having you on the show.
• 1:39:03
  I've really enjoyed a conversation and thank you so
• 1:39:05
  much for sharing all these stories and your perspective on
• 1:39:11
  life. Thank you so much.
• 1:39:13
  Thank you. You're just a, you are gifted
• 1:39:16
  interviewer. Thank you, thank you so much and
• 1:39:21
  thank you to the listeners of the Christian read podcast.
• 1:39:24
  I hope you've enjoyed this episode.
• 1:39:25
  And as always be safe, be well and I'll see you in the next
• 1:39:29
  one.