Latest / The Town Square Podcast / Kamal Carter of A Long Talk on Constructive Conversations and the CPR Method — Episode 100

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Kamal Carter of A Long Talk on Constructive Conversations and the CPR Method — Episode 100 · The Town Square Podcast

0:00
[SPEAKER_02]: Welcome to the town square podcast where local advocates for a better community bring their different perspectives to the messy middle to have a conversation where aim is unity not uniformity that's always the part that I always have to make sure in my head I'm not don't get it back to transposing it around but now yeah absolutely absolutely not uniformity and uh Gabriel I don't know if I've even told you this yet but this will be the 100th episode
0:30
[SPEAKER_01]: Who was going to have some sound effects in a can we can edit in some confetti on the screen or something like that That's that's amazing.
0:41
[SPEAKER_01]: Let me just talk them off off camera and offline about
0:47
[SPEAKER_01]: where began just to what two years ago, two, three years ago, two years ago, and how it just has exceeded all of our expectations.
0:55
[SPEAKER_01]: Right.
0:56
[SPEAKER_01]: And then, so 100 episodes later, yeah, my goodness.
1:00
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, that's amazing.
1:02
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes.
1:03
[SPEAKER_01]: When you see, when you conceptualize something and then you see it come into fruition as absolutely gratifying.
1:10
[SPEAKER_01]: Absolutely.
1:12
[SPEAKER_02]: And I don't want to ignore a guest, if I can just set it up to bring here me and I'm not a pro with this, but let me set this up to bring this guy.
1:20
[SPEAKER_02]: Yes, because on our hundredth episode, when the break when you came, when we were having this conversation about having difficult conversations, having a place where we could humanize the point where I could go, wait a minute, why aren't why do you think that way and understand it better and you could go, wait a minute, why don't
1:38
[SPEAKER_02]: So you think that way, that sounds crazy.
1:40
[SPEAKER_01]: Even if I don't agree, I don't have to get angry with you in this agreement.
1:44
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, yeah, absolutely.
1:45
[SPEAKER_02]: But to be able to have those conversations in a place, have an environment where we could have those conversations.
1:50
[SPEAKER_02]: Right.
1:51
[SPEAKER_02]: Was the birth for us, the town square podcast?
1:53
[SPEAKER_02]: Yes, right.
1:54
[SPEAKER_02]: Yes.
1:55
[SPEAKER_02]: And then to, it's just Kismet that,
1:58
[SPEAKER_02]: uh... our good friend gale rothman and you're was at least part of her board for a while that's not a good new education foundation so you know gale well gale sends me this email and she says you've got to meet is it come all come all Carter right so first of all just welcome to show well come and be
2:15
[SPEAKER_00]: honor to be the hundredth episode of the timing of this is synchronicity is unbelievable.
2:21
[SPEAKER_02]: Absolutely.
2:23
[SPEAKER_02]: So Gail says this email that says you've got to meet Kamal and his partner what they have created at a long talk.
2:30
[SPEAKER_02]: And a long talk, I guess, is short for a long talk about the uncomfortable truth about the uncomfortable truth.
2:37
[SPEAKER_01]: Senator, it's just a thing, man.
2:38
[SPEAKER_02]: And I'm telling you that you've been drawing up any better.
2:41
[SPEAKER_01]: That is absolutely amazing.
2:43
[SPEAKER_01]: We're going to trace sent me some information about that.
2:47
[SPEAKER_01]: I was like, dude, this is amazing.
2:49
[SPEAKER_01]: And I was excited about being able not just to meet you, but also just to hear just the story of what you do and how it even came about.
2:57
[SPEAKER_01]: And so yeah, this is a perfect way to come into a hundred of that episode of what we're doing to have somebody that's congruent with our mission.
3:05
[SPEAKER_01]: It's amazing.
3:05
[SPEAKER_02]: And a pro like this is yeah, this guy goes around the country and his yeah, because around the country to have these conversations with, you know, MLB and NBA and NFL and just all of the let I might be getting some of those wrong, but I mean big time folks to have these real conversations.
3:22
[SPEAKER_02]: So we're getting a pro in the studio today.
3:24
[SPEAKER_02]: This feels like a treat to us.
3:26
[SPEAKER_02]: We're honored to have you and, you know,
3:30
[SPEAKER_00]: Come on, if you just want to take it from there, just give us a, so it's my honor, because I'm just a dad, man, my business partner, Kyle, you know, when Kyle found that a long talk, and we started this, we're just two dads who want to things better, and I think a lot of people can relate to that is that.
3:43
[SPEAKER_00]: In this day and age, I love what you all are saying, the middle, like we don't have to agree on everything, but like, how do we get to a point where we're Americans?
3:51
[SPEAKER_00]: We have a stake in this beautiful thing called America, and we don't have to all agree, but we don't have to, to harm each other in our disagreements.
4:00
[SPEAKER_00]: We started as just dads wanting things better.
4:02
[SPEAKER_00]: I have daughters, my good friend Kyle has sons, and we just run it like, how do we make change now?
4:09
[SPEAKER_00]: Now, we don't want to wait 50 years or 100 years if our kids deserve to have an environment where they can be who they are.
4:17
[SPEAKER_00]: Absolutely.
4:17
[SPEAKER_00]: And so, if you want to know or destroy, I don't even really want to start.
4:21
[SPEAKER_00]: I have so much to share.
4:22
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm super excited, but I'm honored because of the platform that you all put together.
4:25
[SPEAKER_00]: like just seeing your previous episodes, reading just how what this represents, it can be more important now.
4:32
[SPEAKER_00]: And so I feel like honored, like just to be in the studio, just to be a part of the collection of great work that you all are doing and what you're putting out.
4:41
[SPEAKER_00]: It's it's undeniable.
4:43
[SPEAKER_00]: It's kind of like a hit record.
4:44
[SPEAKER_00]: Like you would
4:44
[SPEAKER_00]: And you hear that song, if you're a swifty, or if you're like a living rod, drink over, if you're like whoever, you know, fricking me is a freaky bit, like you hear that song.
4:53
[SPEAKER_00]: And you know what's a great song?
4:55
[SPEAKER_00]: That's what I saw when I saw your ass.
4:57
[SPEAKER_00]: That's what I wanted to be here.
4:58
[SPEAKER_02]: Man, I heard a girl dad coming out.
5:00
[SPEAKER_01]: I was like, you met a guy swifty, yeah, absolutely.
5:03
[SPEAKER_01]: Absolutely.
5:03
[SPEAKER_01]: That's such, that's an all-shucks compliment, man.
5:06
[SPEAKER_01]: And I, you know, we appreciate it.
5:09
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, let's just, let's just get into it, man.
5:15
[SPEAKER_01]: I love how you say, you know, hey, I mean, my business partner was just too dance, you know, trailing me and a couple of the guys that started this conversation was just regular people that just got sick of seeing all the vitriol and in conversation and just and what can we do to shift it?
5:29
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes.
5:30
[SPEAKER_01]: I think a lot of times people miss the fact that some of these great movements start by just regular people looking for something different.
5:38
[SPEAKER_01]: So, like, I guess just, you know, talk a little bit more about, you know, just who you are, and how did you and your business partner y'all come into this space that you're in, right?
5:49
[SPEAKER_02]: This episode is brought to you by Angel Pitz, United Banks Wealth Management Advisor in Covington and Madison.
5:55
[SPEAKER_02]: Reach out to Angel Pitz at 770-412-4932.
5:57
[SPEAKER_02]: That's 770-412-4932.
5:58
[SPEAKER_02]: United Bank Wealth Management Services building relationships that go beyond investments.
6:12
[SPEAKER_00]: So interesting enough, we're both former educators, like why I've been in some business consulting and and but I've always just been a servant of the people like let me back all the way up so it stars as my grandfather's both my grandfather's been a military service so seeing like that honor and and just to discipline that it comes with being military, but my my one of my grandfather's was a Tuskegee Airman.
6:35
[SPEAKER_00]: And so being able to see his journey right and understand what that meant.
6:42
[SPEAKER_00]: And I mean, he was a Renaissance man and he taught us, you know, golf and chess.
6:47
[SPEAKER_00]: And like, you know, the airman will play chess when they were, you know, recreating and like he just made sure that we had access and exposure to different things going up.
6:55
[SPEAKER_00]: And so for me,
6:58
[SPEAKER_00]: seeing just being in this environment of of excellence of expectation, but also a service like it kind of shaped who I was as a as a kid growing up that no matter what you do you always you there's always got to be a service what you can choose to serve I think I don't know if it's less brown or ever said services directly pay for the space we take on yeah absolutely so um
7:20
[SPEAKER_00]: That was just kind of embedded like I knew that you had to leave the world.
7:24
[SPEAKER_00]: It was, should you choose that responsibility to leave the world better than you found it?
7:27
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
7:27
[SPEAKER_00]: So what does that mean?
7:28
[SPEAKER_00]: Depending on what your job, your career is, or where you're a volunteer efforts are.
7:32
[SPEAKER_00]: So for me, that was kind of like in my DNA growing up, seeing that, find a call stand up for or help those who can't help themselves.
7:40
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
7:41
[SPEAKER_00]: So I'll fast forward to just,
7:46
[SPEAKER_00]: When me and Kyle, I was in Atlanta, you know, spear doing the pandemic and Kyle's in DC with in his sons are we trying to figure out a way like how can we sustain people speaking up for change?
8:02
[SPEAKER_00]: I reckon we do that to sustain that and Kyle reached out to me and he's like, you know what, my sons really are at a point to where we're home doing the pandemic and my two oldest sons are college basketball players.
8:14
[SPEAKER_00]: And they are figuring out how can they use their voice for change?
8:19
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, how can they bring about, you know, a way to say that when we go back after this pandemic's over, that we can all focus on coming to our team, bring it all of our different differences to our team, and supporting each other.
8:31
[SPEAKER_00]: And so his sons kind of, one of them had,
8:37
[SPEAKER_00]: after going to a protest in D.C. at the White House on his way home he had.
8:42
[SPEAKER_00]: There was a, a, a, a, a, a, a senior captain that he had, it just was, it just coming, and this is again, a, a long talk about the uncomfortable truth.
8:49
[SPEAKER_00]: This is the birth of it.
8:50
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
8:50
[SPEAKER_00]: I need to tell you how it really got here, because here you have a kid who played basketball with this captain, the previous summer before COVID, and now there's this, this disagreement, this
9:05
[SPEAKER_00]: just assuming something but without how you also we can sit down and talk right this captain was not bringing that it's it's accusatory it's it's words vitra everything you said it was and so it was explosive like this here's a freshman incoming freshman I play a basketball with you I felt you know we had this camaraderie and you didn't even give me a chance like you just assume you were saying things that were not true that were accurate yeah and so now imagine a father's driving home
9:35
[SPEAKER_00]: His son is just struck the other son is now involved.
9:38
[SPEAKER_00]: He says stop texting out this old school, this online, go call each other exactly.
9:44
[SPEAKER_00]: Bad idea, bad idea, bad idea, bad idea.
9:46
[SPEAKER_00]: And if this time had a fight for you, they got worse.
9:48
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
9:49
[SPEAKER_00]: So nice, I go my gosh, when I get home, what about this coach is in the middle.
9:53
[SPEAKER_00]: He's going to get on the Zoom call Monday.
9:55
[SPEAKER_00]: I think it's going to be cool by now.
9:56
[SPEAKER_00]: And it's going to be explosive.
9:58
[SPEAKER_00]: Text the coach, call me tomorrow.
10:02
[SPEAKER_00]: Coach calls him at 10 o'clock at night, and now the phone's ringing and he's like, Oh, I should answer this and he just wouldn't go to voicemail.
10:10
[SPEAKER_00]: So he answers it.
10:11
[SPEAKER_00]: So what's up coach?
10:12
[SPEAKER_00]: You want to talk in a coach?
10:13
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, it's a good time of talk.
10:14
[SPEAKER_00]: He's like, no coach.
10:15
[SPEAKER_00]: I told you to call me tomorrow.
10:16
[SPEAKER_00]: My son's a motion.
10:17
[SPEAKER_00]: It's a lot.
10:18
[SPEAKER_00]: But let's talk.
10:19
[SPEAKER_00]: And that's the birthplace of a long talk.
10:22
[SPEAKER_00]: Wow.
10:23
[SPEAKER_00]: Had this coach not.
10:26
[SPEAKER_00]: Listen to this father.
10:27
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
10:28
[SPEAKER_00]: And just blew him off.
10:29
[SPEAKER_00]: Here's a person in authority.
10:31
[SPEAKER_00]: He's a termining in my son's playing time, competition career stuff, but they had a conversation, a conversation versus confrontation.
10:39
[SPEAKER_00]: That's right.
10:40
[SPEAKER_00]: And it just,
10:42
[SPEAKER_00]: it was a shift.
10:43
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, it was a moment where we can't talk.
10:46
[SPEAKER_01]: Absolutely.
10:47
[SPEAKER_00]: And we can listen.
10:48
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
10:49
[SPEAKER_00]: And we can agree to disagree.
10:50
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
10:50
[SPEAKER_00]: We can also stand up for the right thing.
10:52
[SPEAKER_00]: And so I get emotional because I think about that second and how many times my grandfather tried to have that conversation as airman.
11:00
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
11:01
[SPEAKER_00]: the him not being able to qualify for the GI Bill all the stuff that he faced and is I didn't realize that he was depressed growing up after the war because he felt less than but if he had had someone he could talk to right what would that mean yeah and so that was it and so we had we had to had a great conversation um it was interesting because um the coaches listen for 15 minutes to the father
11:26
[SPEAKER_00]: And he's like, I get it.
11:27
[SPEAKER_00]: I understand why you're son, like, oh my gosh.
11:30
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, I didn't know all this.
11:32
[SPEAKER_00]: Like he was blown away so much.
11:34
[SPEAKER_00]: So the next morning, he texted my 10 a.m. You know, he sent me some information.
11:38
[SPEAKER_00]: And then it just started and Kyle sent him a video.
11:41
[SPEAKER_00]: He could learn stuff.
11:42
[SPEAKER_00]: And then this coach just started doing stuff on his campus.
11:45
[SPEAKER_01]: Wow.
11:45
[SPEAKER_00]: For all people who didn't have voices.
11:47
[SPEAKER_01]: That's awesome.
11:48
[SPEAKER_00]: And it's like, wait a minute, this worked on one campus.
11:50
[SPEAKER_00]: What about another campus?
11:51
[SPEAKER_00]: Must have plays in the Ivy League.
11:52
[SPEAKER_00]: Let's try the Ivy's.
11:53
[SPEAKER_00]: And then it went from there.
11:54
[SPEAKER_00]: And then next thing we knew six weeks later, we had a call with 107 college basketball coaches for national champions.
12:01
[SPEAKER_00]: ESPN was the moderated grant.
12:02
[SPEAKER_00]: Grahe was the moderated ESPN was on the call.
12:05
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
12:05
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean legends like Hall of Fame was like blue blood chips like coaches who were retired and it was it was amazing and we as educators knew that if we could come up with this curriculum and figure out an adult learning cycle around we don't like this alone talk about the uncomfortable truth how do we have conversations instead of conversations yes it applies in the locker room it applies in the board room and it just so we were doing this call one time as dads to bring these
12:36
[SPEAKER_00]: That was it.
12:37
[SPEAKER_00]: We got a call from women's basketball teams, softball teams across rowing teams, and then it just exploded.
12:43
[SPEAKER_00]: From there, the pandemic ended.
12:45
[SPEAKER_00]: We started traveling the college campuses and Wall Street Warden.
12:49
[SPEAKER_00]: We started just people kept telling people, so I'm just like Hamilton.
12:52
[SPEAKER_00]: There've been a lot of great Broadway plays, but when Hamilton was produced written, performed a cause of this reaction, we were like, I don't watch, you know, my gosh.
13:00
[SPEAKER_00]: We weren't like just being ourselves and creating a space, hey, what you all did, what you all have here, we just did it on Zoom and then we took it and just shared across the country.
13:11
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, man.
13:13
[SPEAKER_01]: I think the thing that I love about this the most and why it resonates is again, it's like it's something that, you know, we've always said it in our own ways and I'm sure we say individually as well.
13:26
[SPEAKER_01]: People always waiting for, you know, the president, the government, the, you know, somebody makes it.
13:35
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes, these big named individuals with these big named entities to be the ones to come down and fix it all for us.
13:44
[SPEAKER_01]: And then the truth of the matter is, when the movement's like what you started happen, would
13:50
[SPEAKER_01]: What we've been able to do others it's usually a trickle up situation instead of a breakdown where it's people who were just kind of on the front lines on the daily basis and then it spreads and that and I love how like you said it just
14:06
[SPEAKER_01]: the people that y'all were able to rope into this.
14:09
[SPEAKER_01]: But the way it just started was just two guys who were like, hey man, let's do something different.
14:14
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, it has an amazing.
14:16
[SPEAKER_02]: And it has that, like the people you're describe and that we look to, the president, the government, somebody, they don't have an opportunity to have a long talk.
14:24
[SPEAKER_02]: Oh, like that's the name of the film.
14:26
[SPEAKER_01]: Right, they don't have a name.
14:27
[SPEAKER_02]: They have to pander to the lowest common denominator to get a six-sounds in it, right there, real quick.
14:33
[SPEAKER_02]: And so you can't have a conversation like that.
14:36
[SPEAKER_02]: You can't tweet a conversation like that.
14:39
[SPEAKER_02]: You can ruffle a lot of feathers.
14:40
[SPEAKER_02]: But you can't have a conversation a long talk.
14:43
[SPEAKER_02]: So you've kind of given us the spark that got us to got you to the long talk.
14:48
[SPEAKER_02]: If someone were to listen right now, what exactly is it then?
14:51
[SPEAKER_00]: What do you guys then do to facilitate this long talk?
14:55
[SPEAKER_00]: Great question, great question.
14:57
[SPEAKER_00]: And what I do and it's,
15:01
[SPEAKER_00]: It's real simple, and it's to solve a lot of the issues we have.
15:05
[SPEAKER_00]: It's not rocket science.
15:06
[SPEAKER_00]: It's doing what you all are doing, just talking.
15:08
[SPEAKER_00]: Like if we could sit down over a dinner table or a cup of coffee and just have a conversation, a lot of times there's things that we think or things that we bring, perceive things that are may or be true or untrue that we've learned, we have to unlearn, but if we're open.
15:21
[SPEAKER_00]: So that's really the secret.
15:22
[SPEAKER_00]: There's no, it's how do we create a space and environment.
15:25
[SPEAKER_00]: That's not accusatory.
15:26
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes.
15:27
[SPEAKER_00]: And we bring people in and we ask them,
15:30
[SPEAKER_00]: It's real simple.
15:31
[SPEAKER_00]: Our formula is just information plus empathy equals action.
15:35
[SPEAKER_00]: So if we could get people to become empathetic to one another, to listen to one another, then if I'm like, like a lot of our teams that we work with last year one, NCAA championships in their sports.
15:45
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, so in that locker room, you're bringing people from all over the world a lot of times depending on your sport or all over the country.
15:52
[SPEAKER_00]: and everyone may have different, I like different food or it may be something small.
15:56
[SPEAKER_00]: But while we go argue on the bus about who leaves their room or their dorm dirty and we're trying to focus on a championship plan.
16:03
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, so what we do is we create an environment, we teach, okay, we have a disagreement as a teammate or colleague or a C-suite exit.
16:11
[SPEAKER_00]: How do we role play this these techniques or mechanisms for instead of me being mad and going to tell someone or me just simmering or me yelling out at you?
16:22
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
16:23
[SPEAKER_00]: We actually practice and we teach a skill set on how to interrupt problematic statements or interrupt harmful hurtful statements or if I'm a teammate and I hear something that's going on, how can I not just watch my two teammates argue, but how can I say, hey, look, have you
16:40
[SPEAKER_00]: kindergarten human nature, but it's elevated up and I'm simplifying it, but it's really not rocket science though.
16:47
[SPEAKER_00]: It's setting the stage is being a good facilitator.
16:50
[SPEAKER_00]: If you were high school teacher or if you were a college professor, you want your classroom or really more so K12, you have to teach to all 30 students.
16:57
[SPEAKER_00]: That's right.
16:58
[SPEAKER_00]: different learning styles.
16:59
[SPEAKER_00]: So how do we do that in a setting to where when we're around topics where I mean people now are so afraid to say stuff like for example I'll give you a topic or not even a topic like we all can relate we've been in conversations where sometimes people will tell a story I met such and such and they were.
17:17
[SPEAKER_01]: And they were like someone's going to jump out of the sky.
17:20
[SPEAKER_00]: It's okay to say black.
17:21
[SPEAKER_00]: It's okay to say white, like, so, yeah, I'm sorry.
17:24
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm sorry.
17:25
[SPEAKER_01]: Listen, that is, no, it's really absolutely right.
17:29
[SPEAKER_01]: I literally had a conversation the other day.
17:32
[SPEAKER_01]: And that's why I'm like, I'm like this, got literally had a conversation with somebody other day in person.
17:37
[SPEAKER_01]: And we're talking about nothing, it's just completely innocent.
17:41
[SPEAKER_01]: It's not accusatory.
17:42
[SPEAKER_01]: They were trying to describe
17:44
[SPEAKER_01]: somebody to me did you see so and so he's a favorite guy like it's okay you can say everything first right he's tall he's tall he's tall he's tall he's tall he's tall he's tall he's tall he's tall he's tall he's tall he's tall he's tall he's tall he's tall he's tall he's tall he's tall he's tall he's tall he's tall
18:05
[SPEAKER_01]: So it's just, but it is absolutely amazing how our society has, I will say it devolved into this space where it's almost like you have to walk on eggshells just to say some of the simplest stuff, you know, and it's, it's from something that right like that reaction is from probably years of, of,
18:28
[SPEAKER_02]: being too loose with our language and stuff and then or actually having implicit bias or racism and not knowing it and then you're then you get called out on it and with the culture that we're in.
18:39
[SPEAKER_02]: Right.
18:39
[SPEAKER_02]: We certainly went through a series of times, particularly when you guys were launching where cancel culture was hot, right?
18:45
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, absolutely.
18:46
[SPEAKER_02]: Man, like you said one thing wrong or you said one thing wrong, 20 years ago, you know, you could be off the deal.
18:53
[SPEAKER_02]: But I want
18:59
[SPEAKER_02]: But the tagline and I wanted to make sure I got the language rise more read it.
19:03
[SPEAKER_02]: You guys help people interrupt ignorance and bigotry in real time.
19:08
[SPEAKER_02]: That's awesome.
19:09
[SPEAKER_02]: I feel like I know where you come from, but just help me out.
19:12
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, so it go just and oh, I wish we had our soul.
19:16
[SPEAKER_00]: So I'm going to bring in the egg shells.
19:18
[SPEAKER_00]: This is all going to please feel this all going to kind of answer that question.
19:26
[SPEAKER_00]: First thing we started to give each other grace is not about canceling.
19:29
[SPEAKER_00]: How we ever going to have progress in the conversation if we can't really talk because what I used to do and I was trained I would show up on my professional self.
19:38
[SPEAKER_00]: I would have this wall.
19:39
[SPEAKER_00]: I would have these eggshells, but you wouldn't make the real come all like why can't I?
19:43
[SPEAKER_00]: What have I make a mistake?
19:44
[SPEAKER_00]: Can you extend that grace to me as a human like I don't have to be perfect around you?
19:48
[SPEAKER_00]: You don't have to be perfect around me so we start with that not removing the eggshells and creating an environment where
19:55
[SPEAKER_00]: people are okay.
19:57
[SPEAKER_00]: I can ask questions because maybe I don't know.
19:59
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
19:59
[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe something I've heard.
20:00
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm not sure how this can I ask you honestly, and you can give me honest answer.
20:05
[SPEAKER_00]: So if we remove that, and the next thing we say is progress over perfection.
20:09
[SPEAKER_00]: Like if I know that you're trying,
20:12
[SPEAKER_00]: to learn or be supportive of I'm a college teammate if I'm a colleague if I'm a at a church and I'm part of the executive team and I'm trying to give me that grace.
20:21
[SPEAKER_00]: If I mess up, can you give me that grace as I'm going to give you that grace?
20:23
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
20:24
[SPEAKER_00]: So if someone makes a bigger statement that's bigger than it or what have you, a lot of times what happens is people freeze.
20:31
[SPEAKER_00]: They get sore.
20:32
[SPEAKER_00]: It's so shocking.
20:33
[SPEAKER_00]: I can't believe they said that.
20:35
[SPEAKER_00]: Someone makes a sexist comment or whatever the guy
20:39
[SPEAKER_00]: and or either the reactions.
20:41
[SPEAKER_00]: You can't say that.
20:42
[SPEAKER_00]: Do you know how bad?
20:43
[SPEAKER_00]: But wait a minute.
20:44
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
20:45
[SPEAKER_00]: Let's, what if there was a skill set where we could?
20:50
[SPEAKER_00]: use maybe ask a question, hey, how do you think that makes them like if we can get to the root of it and that's where the interruption comes in is that if we can train people not to stand by in shock or stand by or react with rage and use critical thinking because critical thinking is like kryptonite to ignorance absolutely.
21:09
[SPEAKER_00]: It just and for those many people I know my my daughters like you can't even all kryptonite know also so many is not an avenger like okay.
21:17
[SPEAKER_00]: He's going with me right now.
21:19
[SPEAKER_00]: It was Super Mac, a fly, a kryptonite will make him weak.
21:22
[SPEAKER_01]: He was a Super Mac, he was like my son.
21:24
[SPEAKER_01]: He was, he'll poke a hole in an argument in a minute.
21:27
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm like, I don't think I got, I got a good saying here.
21:30
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, don't interrupt me right now.
21:32
[SPEAKER_01]: Don't do that.
21:32
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, but so what happens is, so first thing is it's so interesting because
21:42
[SPEAKER_00]: In the skill set that we teach and the answer to that question, so imagine where we're in a setting, the eggshells have been removed, the force fields and visible walls that we have and we're learning that what happens when someone hears that statement, people either freeze or they react within tense reaction.
21:58
[SPEAKER_00]: So let's let's let's let's de-escalate that.
22:01
[SPEAKER_00]: Let's practice the technique.
22:03
[SPEAKER_01]: And let's go from furious to curious.
22:07
[SPEAKER_01]: That's the first
22:09
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, someone makes a statement, whatever the statement is, I don't know, I'm not saying you even believe that, but if I can self-regulate myself, and it's not, it's sometimes the easier than others.
22:21
[SPEAKER_01]: That's right.
22:21
[SPEAKER_01]: Absolutely.
22:22
[SPEAKER_01]: Absolutely.
22:23
[SPEAKER_00]: It is, but what if we had, and if it was a, we're in a board room, we're in a meeting, and if we could, the leaders can go from fear to care, so just a few people.
22:33
[SPEAKER_00]: And so now,
22:36
[SPEAKER_00]: Can we have a step where we can find out maybe what this person meant?
22:39
[SPEAKER_00]: And that's the interrupter.
22:41
[SPEAKER_00]: That's the interrupter piece, right?
22:42
[SPEAKER_00]: And it's better that if it's, let's say it's a lot of sea-sweet executives and there's one woman in the sea-sweets, right?
22:48
[SPEAKER_00]: And all the, and two or three of the guys make the comment, they're looking at the woman executive to step step up.
22:53
[SPEAKER_00]: But what if one of the guy steps up?
22:55
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
22:56
[SPEAKER_00]: It says, hey, you know, have you ever thought about?
22:58
[SPEAKER_00]: And that's the interrupter because you use it,
23:00
[SPEAKER_00]: if the person is making a statement to like get people round up order to draw reaction will you barter react to opposite of what they think you know man you know you're you've taken a lot of the venom out of that even just from the reaction a lot of that yeah yeah wow
23:16
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
23:17
[SPEAKER_00]: And then someone else steps in and can ask the probing question.
23:19
[SPEAKER_00]: So we just teach us method of how to, I mean, and I very few people I think are going to want to remain in space once they realize that they set something that's harmful, hurtful, they want to learn from it.
23:29
[SPEAKER_00]: And they're like, no, I want to, I want, this is what I meant.
23:31
[SPEAKER_00]: I want to own this, but you're giving them a chance, kind of, as opposed to just casting them out of canceling.
23:37
[SPEAKER_02]: because you have to either assume intent, like, admit to do it, or ignorance, like you're saying, and they're just in the kind this way.
23:43
[SPEAKER_02]: Like, hey, you just didn't know.
23:44
[SPEAKER_00]: Right, right, right, ignore, you're not knowing.
23:46
[SPEAKER_00]: Exactly, not, yes.
23:47
[SPEAKER_02]: So then you become curious, let me just ask you, what, what, like, did you intend to say, yeah, did you know that's what that meant?
23:52
[SPEAKER_02]: Like, oh, did you have any idea where that might feel like to someone?
23:55
[SPEAKER_02]: Right, and I'll use the kind of interruptions.
23:57
[SPEAKER_02]: Exactly, okay.
23:58
[SPEAKER_01]: because I've even seen in social media where, you know, sometimes even on Twitter or something, you know, you make a statement and then somebody doesn't like it.
24:09
[SPEAKER_01]: So then they'll come and they go straight zero to 100.
24:13
[SPEAKER_01]: They're calling you all kinds of this and that.
24:15
[SPEAKER_01]: And then every times or instead of me coming back at them with that,
24:19
[SPEAKER_01]: I laugh at all for I do something I say something else or I say something you know Hey, it sounds like you're actually really upset about blah, blah, blah and then I notice what happens It takes the venom out and then the next thing you know by the end of the interaction He's like, oh best of luck to your team, you know
24:38
[SPEAKER_01]: Do you see hundreds of things like that in these interactions at y'all have where you actually even Befang the situation and then now all of a sudden people are talking Congenially yeah in ways and what maybe initially they were just trying to blow their anger off or something like that
24:56
[SPEAKER_01]: And yeah, I just, just, I'm, this, this kind of talk always gets me excited because I feel like we've got more of this in us than society is kind of made us think.
25:10
[SPEAKER_01]: 100% of that makes it.
25:11
[SPEAKER_00]: And that fear is to care as pieces.
25:13
[SPEAKER_00]: It is a game change.
25:15
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
25:15
[SPEAKER_00]: I'll take an event amount.
25:16
[SPEAKER_00]: It's the same.
25:16
[SPEAKER_00]: It is such, it's unnatural because I know that usually if I hear something that's offensive or big in it or what?
25:23
[SPEAKER_01]: Wait a minute, I got a react or I got a react in the same way, and sometimes that's why they're saying it because they want you to react in the same way, and then you don't, and then it's like, oh wait, okay.
25:32
[SPEAKER_01]: Let's do something.
25:33
[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe the first has some information that's not accurate, and they had never had a new one, talked to him compassion.
25:38
[SPEAKER_00]: So we're not, again, we, we the people in this country, this is our country, and we should not be fighting like like this to like, we don't have to do that.
25:46
[SPEAKER_00]: We don't have to, yeah.
25:47
[SPEAKER_02]: I would love for us to be the United.
25:49
[SPEAKER_01]: Absolutely.
25:50
[SPEAKER_01]: It's the United.
25:50
[SPEAKER_02]: Absolutely.
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26:37
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26:44
[SPEAKER_01]: Absolutely.
26:45
[SPEAKER_01]: Absolutely.
26:45
[SPEAKER_02]: So has there been a moment or an organization or in one of your consulting moments where you thought they got it like that was it they got it like did because there's got to be reward for you.
26:58
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, intrinsic reward when you ask you.
27:00
[SPEAKER_02]: You had to one of these moments, and you're like, oh, they did it, yeah, yes.
27:04
[SPEAKER_02]: And you're giving an example without name and names here.
27:06
[SPEAKER_00]: So I'll say we work with a championship basketball team last year.
27:11
[SPEAKER_00]: I'll just say that.
27:11
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay.
27:12
[SPEAKER_00]: And it was beautiful to see we started in July, and just to see the team chemistry.
27:18
[SPEAKER_00]: and a watch to go through that entire progression and then it goes to the banquet at the end of the year, like winning a division one basketball championship is not easy.
27:27
[SPEAKER_00]: No, yeah.
27:29
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, and so it's just beautiful, like, because a lot of times it's so interesting as we're going through our sessions, people are waiting to have, like, imagine if you've been walking around on egg shells and that pressure's been taken off with you.
27:42
[SPEAKER_00]: And all I have to do is perform.
27:45
[SPEAKER_00]: At my highest athletic ability, where I'm gifted enough train, we had a student at the two, was a freshman on a soccer team that is hall effect legendary division on program.
27:54
[SPEAKER_00]: And this young man, maybe 19 or 18 years old, phenom, he said, imagine all these years that took me to get to XYZ school.
28:02
[SPEAKER_00]: and I play with this pressure and I still perform how much better could I be if I didn't have to walk like so that those moments where were his teammates saw him as a freshman step up in this story program and just shared that I still made it here but I was carrying weight.
28:19
[SPEAKER_00]: I was in those locker rooms.
28:20
[SPEAKER_00]: I was out on the fields and I was dealing with stuff and I still play that just high level.
28:24
[SPEAKER_00]: Now I'm free just to play and I know y'all have my back.
28:27
[SPEAKER_00]: I know that I can just play my game and I can intervene if I have to, but I know as a team, y'all are there for me.
28:35
[SPEAKER_00]: So those are moments for me that are prices be it.
28:38
[SPEAKER_00]: We've worked in K-12 spaces where you have schools and kids come up standing ovations like for kids maybe who will bully it.
28:46
[SPEAKER_00]: Like it's just
28:47
[SPEAKER_00]: There's so many moments that I think about that.
28:49
[SPEAKER_00]: This is really mission work for us.
28:51
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, we don't stop.
28:52
[SPEAKER_00]: We will travel, fly, swim, paddle, but wherever we have to go when people call, because I know the power of chain, and what this can do for the, maybe that person was quiet.
29:04
[SPEAKER_01]: was just sitting back was one at someone to like right to engage them and to pull out of them what's been in their brain is just just scared to talk about.
29:12
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes.
29:13
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
29:13
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
29:14
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
29:15
[SPEAKER_01]: That's pretty awesome.
29:15
[SPEAKER_00]: It sounds like magic.
29:17
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
29:17
[SPEAKER_01]: Absolutely.
29:17
[SPEAKER_01]: Absolutely.
29:18
[SPEAKER_01]: Absolutely.
29:18
[SPEAKER_01]: He's like it's so simple.
29:19
[SPEAKER_01]: Like wait a minute.
29:19
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
29:20
[SPEAKER_02]: Maybe it's so simple.
29:20
[SPEAKER_02]: We don't be doing it.
29:21
[SPEAKER_02]: Listen.
29:22
[SPEAKER_02]: Listen.
29:22
[SPEAKER_01]: Listen.
29:23
[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, kind of to that point too, you know, you like you have this this workshop conversations versus
29:33
[SPEAKER_01]: How would you, out of the perspective of this, this, I'll call it what you call it, this mission that you have, yes.
29:41
[SPEAKER_01]: How do you define the difference between the two?
29:43
[SPEAKER_01]: And then how do you maybe can tell, like if you're in a conversation that maybe starts off productive, but starts veering, you know, how can you tell that's happening and what kinds of things you do to try to real that thing back here?
29:56
[SPEAKER_00]: So great.
29:57
[SPEAKER_00]: So this is a great thing about it.
29:59
[SPEAKER_00]: Is that?
30:00
[SPEAKER_00]: We have to realize that people have the right to remain like, we're not here to change people's opinions.
30:05
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
30:06
[SPEAKER_00]: You can share perspective and ask them and let them know that, hey, maybe there's a different way.
30:10
[SPEAKER_00]: We could do this here in a board room or in a locker room or wherever, but people absolutely have a right to believe what they want to believe.
30:16
[SPEAKER_00]: And so we can take that agency away.
30:18
[SPEAKER_00]: So that's the thing, as we're having our conversations, we actually will practice, as someone is, is this is what I believe.
30:26
[SPEAKER_00]: This is why I'm doing this.
30:26
[SPEAKER_00]: You can say, well,
30:28
[SPEAKER_00]: Our team is focused on when a championship is here in our locker room.
30:31
[SPEAKER_00]: We just want to keep our locker room, you know, that you can set the boundaries.
30:35
[SPEAKER_00]: But I think it's freeing when you know that you're not, we're not trying to convince everyone.
30:39
[SPEAKER_01]: Right.
30:39
[SPEAKER_00]: We're not trying to save everyone or we're not trying to pull you to our side.
30:42
[SPEAKER_00]: It truly is a conversation.
30:44
[SPEAKER_00]: So when someone gets confrontational and if they keep getting confrontational and number one, it's illogical if you're calm.
30:51
[SPEAKER_00]: like like if someone gets mad and and and you can just stop at us are you okay like that that it so you're not but it's to bring it down it brings it down if they want to keep going and you can end it like your your goal is not to stay in five and ten minutes you know conversations with people are not open or if it's not a dialogue if you give your feeling of energy
31:10
[SPEAKER_00]: and if it's pulling from you, this thing is supposed to help relieve people and so I love it.
31:15
[SPEAKER_00]: You have to kind of gauge and that's why it takes practice in the sessions.
31:18
[SPEAKER_00]: We literally go through and we're practicing with someone at level 10 who believe something that's harmful to our team, our environment, our culture and they're going to own it, get into it just so you're going to be.
31:29
[SPEAKER_00]: And that person can feel it and they can use the techniques that we're teaching and as they're seeing it, it's okay.
31:34
[SPEAKER_00]: Can I remain?
31:36
[SPEAKER_00]: curious and not fierce.
31:37
[SPEAKER_00]: Am I trying to say things to get you to know?
31:39
[SPEAKER_01]: Right.
31:40
[SPEAKER_00]: No, we are truly engaging in dialogue.
31:42
[SPEAKER_00]: And a lot of people, I think in this age, with cell phones and lack of communication, this is an art form.
31:47
[SPEAKER_00]: It takes practice.
31:48
[SPEAKER_00]: But once you get it, it's almost like muscle memory.
31:53
[SPEAKER_00]: We have to retrain our muscles in this skill set.
31:56
[SPEAKER_00]: Because typically, I want to prove my point.
31:58
[SPEAKER_00]: Your point, my point, your point, no, no, it's the conversation.
32:01
[SPEAKER_00]: It's not.
32:06
[SPEAKER_00]: Then, hey, you know what, I see, you know, you're right.
32:09
[SPEAKER_00]: I understand how you feel, this, you're entitled to how you feel, but I just want, you know, here with our team or here in our church and our organization, these are things like words that can hurt individuals and want to make sure it's the place for everyone.
32:21
[SPEAKER_00]: And that's it.
32:23
[SPEAKER_02]: So in that seminar or workshop, if you guys were to be hired by a company or a group, or whatever,
32:30
[SPEAKER_02]: part of this conversation versus a confrontation you teach a CPR.
32:35
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, it's a great accurate.
32:37
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, you teach CPR.
32:39
[SPEAKER_02]: Clare for pro reader rig.
32:41
[SPEAKER_02]: Absolutely.
32:42
[SPEAKER_02]: Can you take a street with that?
32:43
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
32:43
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, absolutely.
32:44
[SPEAKER_00]: So it's just, it's very, very simple.
32:46
[SPEAKER_02]: The first thing is,
32:48
[SPEAKER_00]: which when you move into the CPR as an acronym for a clarify pro redirect, and it's a mechanism, it's a tool for conversation.
32:57
[SPEAKER_00]: And it's almost like, you have a playbook or you have something that I don't know what to say when someone says this thing.
33:04
[SPEAKER_00]: So we give you just a simple technique.
33:05
[SPEAKER_00]: First one is the clarify.
33:08
[SPEAKER_00]: Someone makes a statement.
33:09
[SPEAKER_00]: And you just ask them, what do you mean when you say blank?
33:14
[SPEAKER_00]: Not think about it.
33:15
[SPEAKER_00]: So a lot of times,
33:17
[SPEAKER_00]: someone makes a statement and it's just, it just goes like level 10, but we don't give people a chance to clarify.
33:27
[SPEAKER_00]: So it's almost like if we're in the room, someone makes a statement.
33:31
[SPEAKER_00]: What do you mean when you say whatever the problematic statement is, right?
33:35
[SPEAKER_00]: And then the trick is we have to be quiet.
33:38
[SPEAKER_00]: A lot of times we want to, we have to let them answer.
33:40
[SPEAKER_01]: Because sometimes we want to.
33:42
[SPEAKER_01]: What do you mean when you say that?
33:43
[SPEAKER_00]: Because blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah
33:57
[SPEAKER_00]: or I've never really thought about it.
33:59
[SPEAKER_00]: It's just a cool thing that popped up on my phone.
34:00
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm repeating it because the guys are saying I've never thought about it enough to explain why I say it's like, yeah, yeah.
34:09
[SPEAKER_00]: This critical thing.
34:10
[SPEAKER_00]: So that's the first step is that clarify.
34:12
[SPEAKER_00]: So we give them a chance to clarify whatever the problematic statement is.
34:15
[SPEAKER_00]: So you have a question you're trying to figure out why do they say that we're in a
34:21
[SPEAKER_00]: And after they've, you've gone through the clarification that's the C in the CPR, that you want to go to the probing.
34:27
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
34:31
[SPEAKER_00]: So once we, it's, it's so interesting because you can actually clarify a few times.
34:36
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
34:37
[SPEAKER_00]: You can, you can, you can, yeah.
34:38
[SPEAKER_00]: Claire for our few times.
34:39
[SPEAKER_00]: But this is the part that's the sort.
34:43
[SPEAKER_00]: How do you think it would make?
34:46
[SPEAKER_00]: Women feel, you know, your mom feel, your sister feels, she heard you say that.
34:50
[SPEAKER_00]: We're in a locker room with guys and one of the guys makes a comment that's off putting that sexist, that's harmful towards women, and you just ask, how do you think it will make your mother feel if she heard you say, all right, how do you think my sister will feel?
35:04
[SPEAKER_00]: Now, that's tough because you're talking about that's bold.
35:08
[SPEAKER_02]: I mean, it already feels uncomfortable.
35:10
[SPEAKER_02]: I mean, here in this, I'm like, oh, man, what I'm able to do this?
35:13
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
35:14
[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm like, you know, we're here to, like, tell me in championships, but you're making comments that a little, like, that's how do you, so you're asking it, you're just asking them how, so, but again, they're, they're having the, in their mind, they're doing the lifting and the gymnastics.
35:27
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
35:28
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
35:28
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, you know what?
35:29
[SPEAKER_01]: I'll just probably for the first time, too, maybe even the that kind of lifting that kind of process.
35:35
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes.
35:36
[SPEAKER_01]: They've never fully thought it through.
35:37
[SPEAKER_00]: Because everyone just lasted off or some of lost to say something that I don't know what to say.
35:41
[SPEAKER_00]: So now what you're doing is you're giving the honest on them.
35:44
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
35:44
[SPEAKER_00]: And then there's just a redirect.
35:46
[SPEAKER_00]: What do you think will happen to be supported women or supported this community versus opposed them?
35:51
[SPEAKER_00]: But so but see the that when you're asking them how do you think it makes them feel if the person I don't care most people are not going to say I don't care You know how this person feel that group with what no one wants to just be that person But maybe there are some people that's fine.
36:05
[SPEAKER_00]: Once they tell you I don't care you know
36:08
[SPEAKER_00]: I understand who we're dealing with.
36:10
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, and maybe this may not be a good fit for you.
36:12
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't know or understand, like as the organization, we're not gonna put stuff like that out online, because our company we're a billion dollar company.
36:20
[SPEAKER_00]: And we have different beliefs and we have different values and you represent our company.
36:27
[SPEAKER_00]: Just keep that, you can, if that's what you believe, but you're not coming over to my house, like for dinner or we're not coming to my Christmas party.
36:33
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, you just keep that in your house.
36:36
[SPEAKER_00]: So that's not magic, it's really, but again, as we're getting in groups like it's to practice the skill set and to not be furious as people are saying that it's such a, it does take retraining those muscles because the immediate thing is the, is the furious.
36:56
[SPEAKER_00]: And then I'm not gonna ask how, what do you mean, I'm gonna talk over your point, but we want the person making the statement, they have to,
37:02
[SPEAKER_00]: Think critically, each step of the way and hopefully they're brain and the heart connects and that's the technique.
37:09
[SPEAKER_02]: So I'm assuming then because like you gave the scenario of like in a locker room.
37:13
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, you're going to you're going to teach in in in in the seminar for the workshop first, right?
37:19
[SPEAKER_02]: Like, so this they're not doing it for the first time in the locker room.
37:22
[SPEAKER_02]: Now, alright, let's try this.
37:23
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, hey, man, why don't you say that right?
37:25
[SPEAKER_02]: It's like, okay, let me teach you first how to do this.
37:27
[SPEAKER_02]: Let's remove some of those egg shells like you were talking about.
37:29
[SPEAKER_02]: Let's figure out what your intent is really own that.
37:30
[SPEAKER_02]: Do you know what you're saying so you practice it first?
37:31
[SPEAKER_02]: I guess is what you're saying?
37:32
[SPEAKER_02]: Absolutely.
37:32
[SPEAKER_02]: Absolutely.
37:33
[SPEAKER_02]: Is that something we can do in practice?
37:34
[SPEAKER_02]: Listen, let's practice it, dude.
37:35
[SPEAKER_02]: I mean, I'm scared to death, but I mean, you know, I'm 100 episode.
37:36
[SPEAKER_02]: It can be the last, but it might be listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen
37:49
[SPEAKER_01]: But remember, progress over perfection.
37:51
[SPEAKER_00]: If you walk in the decentralized, I'm going to be terrible at this.
37:54
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm never done it, and that's how we start.
37:56
[SPEAKER_00]: You all are high level athletes.
37:57
[SPEAKER_00]: You see sweet execs, you guys are winners, and whatever you do, this we're all babies.
38:03
[SPEAKER_00]: So we give each other grace progress.
38:05
[SPEAKER_00]: So we don't have to be perfect at it.
38:06
[SPEAKER_00]: What if we mess it up 10 times, and get it right at the 11 times?
38:09
[SPEAKER_00]: What do you mean when you say, I don't know what I said, we just give yourself that progress over perfection.
38:17
[SPEAKER_01]: Wow.
38:18
[SPEAKER_01]: I love it.
38:19
[SPEAKER_01]: I love it.
38:20
[SPEAKER_01]: I feel it.
38:20
[SPEAKER_01]: You want, I can see it.
38:22
[SPEAKER_01]: I see it.
38:22
[SPEAKER_02]: You want it.
38:23
[SPEAKER_02]: Go ahead.
38:23
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't know.
38:24
[SPEAKER_02]: I mean, I would need some guidance.
38:25
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't know what I don't know what I'm doing.
38:26
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
38:27
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay.
38:27
[SPEAKER_00]: So you would just take this scenario.
38:28
[SPEAKER_00]: It takes this grip.
38:29
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
38:30
[SPEAKER_00]: And one person will be person playing the person that's making the problematic statement.
38:33
[SPEAKER_00]: And the other person will use the CPR protocol.
38:36
[SPEAKER_00]: Hey, what do you mean when you say, given their exact words back?
38:40
[SPEAKER_00]: You're going, when you start a wall plan, you're going to see how difficult it is, right?
38:43
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
38:43
[SPEAKER_00]: But so
38:47
[SPEAKER_00]: And then one person asks the questions and then the person, you know, just go to the CPR protocol and then there may be a third observer who's like, when you said this, this work, that works, but it's good.
38:57
[SPEAKER_00]: And then we switch roles, so everyone has a chance to ask the questions.
39:00
[SPEAKER_01]: So like if I come to the training and say, you know what, try everybody in Newton County is racist.
39:09
[SPEAKER_02]: I go, okay, well, you're probably right.
39:14
[SPEAKER_01]: So what do you like what do you mean when you say like what yeah, so then so you he asks me what I mean so then now the whole this is on me To be like you got to think through what you just said, you know, so I'll say well And this is kind of something like
39:30
[SPEAKER_01]: When I was 10, you know, I remember my daddy, you know, when I was at the grocery store and we was getting ready to leave and this car rolled up and it was three white guys in it.
39:42
[SPEAKER_01]: We called my dad the N-word and I remember that.
39:45
[SPEAKER_01]: And ever since then, I just look at everybody in Newton County differently, man.
39:53
[SPEAKER_02]: Like immediately there, I'm like, and then you're, maybe to cyberthetic, maybe.
39:59
[SPEAKER_01]: No, this is definitely hypothetically.
40:00
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, my dad's never been, but I'm just saying this.
40:02
[SPEAKER_02]: But I'm like, I immediately feel it, right?
40:04
[SPEAKER_02]: Like I feel it, and I go, man, that must have stopped, right?
40:10
[SPEAKER_02]: Like, that must have failed awful to feel that and to go through that.
40:13
[SPEAKER_02]: Really?
40:13
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, it failed awful.
40:14
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
40:15
[SPEAKER_01]: And then I see how people around here treat each other.
40:18
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, you didn't vote for this person,
40:23
[SPEAKER_01]: here's racist.
40:24
[SPEAKER_02]: Okay, good.
40:24
[SPEAKER_02]: So now I'm trying to clarify.
40:26
[SPEAKER_02]: Now I'm going to probe a little bit and I'll go, man, do you think I'm racist?
40:30
[SPEAKER_02]: Like we hang out and we talk.
40:33
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, because in now I have to, yeah, because now because now I may I may end up saying something like,
40:44
[SPEAKER_01]: You know what, I don't know, man.
40:45
[SPEAKER_01]: This is a long term.
40:47
[SPEAKER_01]: This is a long term.
40:48
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm kind of like, we ain't never had no problems, but how do I know when you go back home with your people, with your family that you're not saying blah, blah, blah, about me, you know, that kind of thing.
40:58
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
41:02
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm not.
41:03
[SPEAKER_01]: You're not.
41:03
[SPEAKER_01]: You're not.
41:04
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm not.
41:05
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
41:05
[SPEAKER_01]: So I can go home with you and everything to be cool.
41:08
[SPEAKER_02]: Absolutely.
41:09
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
41:09
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
41:09
[SPEAKER_02]: And then that kind of, yeah.
41:11
[SPEAKER_02]: This is good, man.
41:11
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
41:12
[SPEAKER_02]: It's hard work.
41:12
[SPEAKER_01]: Because then now, because then now for me, what's happening is.
41:16
[SPEAKER_02]: you poked a whole absolutely logic and logic.
41:19
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, everybody in Newton County can't be racist because Tray's not.
41:24
[SPEAKER_02]: What if their families are not?
41:26
[SPEAKER_01]: Maybe there are other people like Tray, right?
41:28
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, so.
41:28
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
41:30
[SPEAKER_01]: Absolutely.
41:30
[SPEAKER_00]: We tracking in the.
41:31
[SPEAKER_00]: We're absolutely.
41:33
[SPEAKER_00]: And the last thing.
41:33
[SPEAKER_00]: How do you think if you support people in Newton, everyone?
41:36
[SPEAKER_00]: Like.
41:37
[SPEAKER_00]: the three people who are in the truck or is does that everyone like you can ask the goal is to keep asking questions that poke holes in the logic.
41:44
[SPEAKER_00]: And so you the more you practice your questions will force him to because his logic is already falling apart.
41:50
[SPEAKER_00]: Because you can say something like how many times has that happened to you?
41:54
[SPEAKER_01]: but that's the only time to remember you know okay well how many cars have passed you that never happened to you but there's one group of three that did it you know yeah man yeah yeah yeah yeah and you know I think some conflict resolutionists
42:09
[SPEAKER_01]: We probably do this more than we think we do, and we just don't realize the process that we're actually engaging a process that is, that is, yeah, that's, yeah.
42:21
[SPEAKER_02]: But I can see we're practicing that practice in a safe space, right?
42:25
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, he created the safe space.
42:26
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes.
42:27
[SPEAKER_02]: And you've given hypotheticals first, and then you work into the real, the real stuff.
42:32
[SPEAKER_02]: I can see, man.
42:33
[SPEAKER_01]: Because I can see that.
42:35
[SPEAKER_01]: So, if I'm seeing this properly, so you're goal and you go into whether you, like you say, you either see sweet execs.
42:43
[SPEAKER_01]: football teams, basketball teams, whatever, you say we're not trying to change you.
42:49
[SPEAKER_01]: So the goal then is what it's, we're trying to get you to be cohesive enough to be able to function together as a team, as a business as a whatever, as an absolute, absolutely.
43:00
[SPEAKER_00]: So even, so, and this is where it takes like the practice and the repetition works.
43:06
[SPEAKER_00]: his exact words like when when when and we teach our class to use their exact words to give them to listen to whatever everyone in Newton County, whatever you said, I'm going to give you those exact words back and then I'm just going to pause to let you hear it feel I'm going to let you hear it feel that even if it gets silent for a little while.
43:26
[SPEAKER_00]: So now it's sinking in and you did it was great how you gave him this words back, but then they're doing they're almost backpelling or they're doing the gymnastics, they're lifting because they made the statement you didn't make the statement.
43:37
[SPEAKER_00]: You're entering in this as a blank state.
43:39
[SPEAKER_00]: You're like, wow, tell me more.
43:41
[SPEAKER_00]: Like if you like, they think about it of a five year old says something that's problematic.
43:45
[SPEAKER_00]: You don't yell at the, like, you might ask them, where did you learn that?
43:49
[SPEAKER_00]: I can get that curiosity.
43:50
[SPEAKER_00]: It, it, it, it, it this arms them and it gets them to speak.
43:53
[SPEAKER_01]: And also now they're trying to justify the, oh wait, I'm just three people was one for, I don't know because it, because then if you say, if I say every body in Newton County's races, you can put, you say that right back to me.
44:05
[SPEAKER_01]: And then I,
44:07
[SPEAKER_01]: What that does at least in my mind is, okay, you're using my exact words.
44:12
[SPEAKER_01]: So now if I try to say, well, you know, most people, you didn't say, Most of everybody.
44:17
[SPEAKER_01]: So let, you know, that's that's that's a genius way of of of looking at it, you know,
44:24
[SPEAKER_02]: So you, that's awesome.
44:26
[SPEAKER_02]: I really is.
44:27
[SPEAKER_02]: And like, I'm now, we'll have to share your website.
44:31
[SPEAKER_02]: I want to get it to a lot of people different places.
44:33
[SPEAKER_02]: I feel like this, this conversation, these long talks, these are having the places or that mercy.
44:38
[SPEAKER_02]: And I think I would feel the same way you feel.
44:40
[SPEAKER_02]: But like, yeah, when they get it, you know, like, oh, we got it.
44:43
[SPEAKER_02]: Man, we're a team.
44:44
[SPEAKER_02]: We're a team.
44:44
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
44:46
[SPEAKER_02]: But you mentioned, you're not trying to change everyone's.
44:49
[SPEAKER_02]: opinion or are they're perspective?
44:51
[SPEAKER_02]: If they're really rooted in something, have you, have you with dealt with some people like that?
44:55
[SPEAKER_02]: You're like, guys, you're not going to change that.
44:58
[SPEAKER_00]: Sure.
44:59
[SPEAKER_00]: And that, but that's the greatest, it's a great study because we have to realize that people have a right to believe what they want to believe, but they, so, but they may not have the right to exist in our space or like, you can't be the head pastor of your, like, maybe like so, but you do have the right.
45:14
[SPEAKER_00]: And that's important to understand that we can't infringe upon people's rights.
45:18
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
45:18
[SPEAKER_00]: But we can't compartmentalize.
45:19
[SPEAKER_00]: I can decide if I want to have, you know, have you over for the holiday gathering or I want to spend how if I want to spend time with you or sit with you at that lunch, I can just sit at a different table.
45:29
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
45:30
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
45:30
[SPEAKER_00]: So, but we, I just think it's important that everyone realizes that again.
45:35
[SPEAKER_00]: you're gonna meet people that made just a hundred percent feel the certain way we want to speak a certain way and it's like if we have kids and we're having a holiday celebration or dinner it's someone who's saying things at the dinner table that's that's harmful that we're not gonna sit our kids around there and and keep showing up or going to this family's house or having that person over we might put them at the little table or be like we're not yeah when it's almost like
46:02
[SPEAKER_00]: smoke.
46:03
[SPEAKER_00]: Think about this cigarette.
46:05
[SPEAKER_00]: If you can imagine, now I don't know, you guys are kind of young.
46:08
[SPEAKER_00]: You may not remember there was a time-action when people could smoke cigarettes on airplanes.
46:14
[SPEAKER_01]: I wasn't around, but I do remember seeing like commercials and different things where that was.
46:20
[SPEAKER_00]: So when we're working with our student athletes, they're blown away like, what we have to show to the pictures like the pile of a combined light people cigarettes in
46:31
[SPEAKER_00]: It was the Americana, if you could roll up that cigarette in your sleeve, like you were tough and cool, like it was everywhere, but because, but we didn't know, we were ignorant, we had ignorance did not know the harmful effects, but then all of a sudden people started getting, wait a minute, you got a cough, you got a cough, you got cancer, and so then it was just all out campaigning on, we need to educate the American population, like put a sticker on these boxes, it's cancer, it can kill you.
46:54
[SPEAKER_00]: And people were like, well, that's fine, but
46:59
[SPEAKER_00]: Wait a minute, then it started killing people through secondhand smoke.
47:02
[SPEAKER_00]: It started getting six.
47:03
[SPEAKER_00]: So then it was e-e-a-flow out blitz.
47:06
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, I mean, commercials, campaigns, school assemblies.
47:10
[SPEAKER_00]: And then it was designated smoking spots, where you could smoke care or in the building on this floor or this room, but then eventually, what did they do?
47:19
[SPEAKER_00]: They were like, people, as are Americans, I have a right, you can't take my cigarettes from me, you get, yeah.
47:24
[SPEAKER_00]: But what we can do is we can tell you to take that outside.
47:27
[SPEAKER_01]: Because I got it right, too, to not inhale your smoke and put my life in there.
47:29
[SPEAKER_01]: So they're outside in these designated areas.
47:30
[SPEAKER_01]: And now, we have no smoking side.
47:31
[SPEAKER_00]: There's not even, there's not even signs anymore.
47:33
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
47:33
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
47:34
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
47:34
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
47:34
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
47:34
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
47:34
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
47:35
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
47:35
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
47:35
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
47:36
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
47:36
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
47:36
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
47:37
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
47:38
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
47:38
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
47:39
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
47:40
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
47:40
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
47:40
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
47:40
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
47:40
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
47:40
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Right.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Right.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Right.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Right.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Right.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Right.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Right.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Right.
47:42
[SPEAKER_01]: Right.
47:43
[SPEAKER_01]: Right.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Right.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Right.
47:43
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
47:44
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
47:44
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
47:45
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
47:45
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
47:45
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
47:45
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
47:45
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
47:46
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
47:46
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
47:46
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
47:46
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
47:46
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
47:47
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
47:47
[SPEAKER_00]: You absolutely have the right to believe, but just not here in our walls when you're coming to worship.
47:50
[SPEAKER_00]: Not here when you're coming to City Council, not here when you're coming to schools, but we're not going to bring this.
47:55
[SPEAKER_00]: So that's the mission.
47:58
[SPEAKER_00]: And we did it with cigarettes in less than 30, 20, 30 years.
48:01
[SPEAKER_00]: Like it's phased out.
48:02
[SPEAKER_00]: This generation has no clue that that was a thing.
48:06
[SPEAKER_00]: Cars with ash trays, all the stuff.
48:08
[SPEAKER_00]: Guard.
48:09
[SPEAKER_00]: No more signs even needed.
48:10
[SPEAKER_00]: So what if we had a way where it's just okay?
48:14
[SPEAKER_00]: just not just like the cigarette smoke don't put bring that into my organization.
48:18
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, I love the analogy.
48:19
[SPEAKER_02]: That's a good one.
48:20
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm gonna push back a little bit, not only the analogy itself, but I just, because
48:25
[SPEAKER_02]: that was a full-on campaign, everyone got behind it, even those who didn't like it felt like there were some rights being in French don't, but yet you still could do it.
48:35
[SPEAKER_02]: You just can't do it next to me, right?
48:37
[SPEAKER_02]: I get to make a choice in this matter.
48:38
[SPEAKER_02]: You got to go outside.
48:40
[SPEAKER_02]: I can interrupt your ignorance or bigotry.
48:42
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't have to deal with that, right?
48:43
[SPEAKER_02]: And you can go outside, if that's what you believe, right?
48:45
[SPEAKER_02]: Right, essentially.
48:46
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
48:47
[SPEAKER_02]: However, with online social media, how much more is the
48:55
[SPEAKER_02]: exacerbated now through social media and we have less conversation.
48:59
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, I think it was created to have conversation show everybody your friends you had what spaghetti made look at special stuff again.
49:05
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, I mean everybody's like, Oh, look, my kid went to bed just for the social media was supposed to be.
49:10
[SPEAKER_02]: Right.
49:10
[SPEAKER_01]: First of all, the Facebook came out.
49:12
[SPEAKER_01]: It was the, you know, hey, you kids catch up with my classmates and college, but it has a devolved into something.
49:17
[SPEAKER_01]: Right.
49:17
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
49:18
[SPEAKER_01]: Does that push against your your mission?
49:22
[SPEAKER_02]: This episode was brought to you by Angel Pitz, United Bank's wealth management advisor in Coventon and Madison.
49:28
[SPEAKER_02]: You can contact Angel at 770-412-4932.
49:29
[SPEAKER_02]: That's 770-412-4932.
49:30
[SPEAKER_02]: United Bank, wealth management services, building relationships that go beyond investments.
49:45
[SPEAKER_00]: It doesn't, it doesn't, so it's both Anne.
49:48
[SPEAKER_00]: I think that social media breeds a breeding ground for toxic behavior and you can hide behind a keyboard and your identity can be masked and you can say things that are harmful.
49:57
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes.
49:58
[SPEAKER_00]: Rarely in face-to-face situations or situations where maybe you're tied to a company if you're on zooms or wherever it is, like where there's accountability because social media gives you a chance to mask that layer or by step.
50:12
[SPEAKER_00]: or skip over that accountability layer.
50:14
[SPEAKER_00]: But if I'm saying things, and I work for it, just building a dollar corporation, and I'm the VP, and I'm treating my employees a certain way or what have you.
50:21
[SPEAKER_00]: There's a, there's a, there's a, there's a accountable, like the sin you can't, you're not going to walk or start smoking.
50:27
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
50:28
[SPEAKER_00]: Think about it.
50:28
[SPEAKER_02]: That's true.
50:29
[SPEAKER_02]: Yes.
50:31
[SPEAKER_00]: It's a cover stable, just like this, it's a terrible, it's a terrible, it's a terrible, it's a terrible, it's a terrible, it's a terrible, it's a terrible, it's a terrible, it's a terrible, it's a terrible, it's a terrible, it's a terrible, it's a terrible, it's a terrible, it's a terrible, it's a terrible, it's a terrible, it's a terrible, it's a terrible, it's a terrible, it's a terrible, it's a terrible, it's a terrible, it's a terrible, it's a terrible, it's a terrible, it's a terrible, it's a terrible, it's a terrible, it's a terrible, it's a terrible, it's a terrible, it's a terrible, it's a terrible, it's a terrible, it's a terrible, it's a terrible, it's a terrible, it's a terrible, it's a terrible, it's a terrible, it's a terrible, it's a
50:49
[SPEAKER_00]: The like the the campaign was cigarette smoking.
50:51
[SPEAKER_00]: You're right.
50:52
[SPEAKER_00]: It it was hundreds hundreds of millions of not billions of dollars poured in like I don't but it was a a national buying but this It only takes one or two brave people in each space and and people want to learn how once they see this
51:05
[SPEAKER_00]: they can go back and teach their family members or the kid on the playground was being teased because whatever now they can teach this person out of support them.
51:13
[SPEAKER_00]: It's a beautiful thing, but we don't need that same type of deployment, the smoking and combating cancer and what cigarettes cause for this to catch fire, really.
51:24
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, yeah, grassroots.
51:25
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, absolutely.
51:27
[SPEAKER_01]: I love it.
51:27
[SPEAKER_01]: I love it.
51:28
[SPEAKER_01]: Man, this is so awesome.
51:29
[SPEAKER_01]: So let me ask you this.
51:34
[SPEAKER_01]: you know into something where now people I guess are reaching out to you when they're wanting to get some resolution into some of the things that are happening in their organizations like how do people connect with like if somebody's listening to this now and they're sitting at thinking like geez I know my you know let's bring this guy to our jeff
51:55
[SPEAKER_00]: Let's bring this guy to my office like how do people connect with you in this just on our website I'm a long talk dot com or either on our social media along talk 2 0 2 0 as a long talk 2020 and we've had most people connect to our website or just send us an email you know and just go there and it's interesting because some people connect
52:16
[SPEAKER_00]: when they have an issue that they want to kind of discuss.
52:19
[SPEAKER_00]: But a lot of people just want to install a culture, where it puts, it's almost getting ahead of an issue.
52:25
[SPEAKER_00]: And this is what it means to be a part of XYZ company, or XYZ non-profit or school district.
52:30
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, when you come to our school, we treat everyone as friends.
52:33
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, just so people install this culture, because if you teach your leaders how to do this,
52:39
[SPEAKER_00]: then it keeps you away from being on a TV or a lawsuit or what have you or it just makes it a great place to work live or play whatever you do.
52:48
[SPEAKER_02]: I was just thinking like and I'm not I don't want to throw any organization under the board but like just our school board like our our local city councils and our county commissioners and you know in any county, I'm not specific because I didn't county we've been new county base for a long time but it's spread nettle a bit.
53:04
[SPEAKER_02]: Any of those groups, I think, would benefit hugely from having these kind of conversation on this.
53:09
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm thinking about...
53:10
[SPEAKER_00]: Your congregation.
53:13
[SPEAKER_01]: I can see this issue is going to be an issue, hey, come on, come here, let's do a workshop just to get ahead.
53:20
[SPEAKER_01]: I like how you said to get ahead of this situation, so we can even instill this culture as a deterrent, hopefully, you know, I can absolutely see, and I feel like, you know, not in against, you know, smaller organizations, but I do feel like,
53:35
[SPEAKER_01]: the bigger and the larger and the more at stake, you know, with the organization, the more important this work becomes.
53:42
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh yeah.
53:43
[SPEAKER_02]: When you're trying to win a national championship and you're trying to, you know, lead a multi-billion dollar organization or set policy for your community.
53:51
[SPEAKER_02]: Yes.
53:51
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, speaking of churches, we have a great relationship with the United Methodist Church and with the particularly New England Conference, and we've worked with their bishop, with their leaders, and a lot of their pastors, and we've done some great, and it's interesting to hear you talk about that, just putting a culture in.
54:07
[SPEAKER_00]: where you can have conversations versus confrontation.
54:09
[SPEAKER_00]: How do we, if I'm shepherding over these different individuals who are coming in the worship and how do we come together and just like the myth, like what you also said, the messy mental, we can cultivate these cultures, but we can't act like they don't like.
54:25
[SPEAKER_00]: We don't talk about it like when you're kids sometimes when you hide, you think if you close your eyes, they can't see me.
54:29
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm like, I'm invisible.
54:31
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
54:31
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
54:31
[SPEAKER_01]: I just stand in the middle of your eyes closed.
54:33
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
54:34
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
54:34
[SPEAKER_01]: I love it.
54:35
[SPEAKER_01]: I love it.
54:35
[SPEAKER_01]: I love it.
54:36
[SPEAKER_02]: Come on.
54:36
[SPEAKER_02]: What you and Kyle are doing in your whole team and it's a lot of you guys that are working on this thing.
54:41
[SPEAKER_02]: It encourages me, it gives me hope, like I feel like we're not the only people in the world.
54:47
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, yelling out into the, yes, into the abyss, trying to get people to listen.
54:52
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, man.
54:53
[SPEAKER_02]: And I just, I really hope people will take you up on your offer and and check out the website.
54:59
[SPEAKER_02]: And, man, if you watch a couple of just a couple of the testimonial videos, you'll be hooked.
55:03
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
55:03
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, okay.
55:04
[SPEAKER_02]: If they can do it.
55:05
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
55:06
[SPEAKER_01]: I know we can do it, man.
55:07
[SPEAKER_01]: Absolutely.
55:08
[SPEAKER_01]: Absolutely.
55:08
[SPEAKER_02]: So thank you for your work.
55:09
[SPEAKER_02]: Thank you for taking time out.
55:10
[SPEAKER_02]: I have to come all the way out here to the country to your top one podcast with us.
55:15
[SPEAKER_02]: We're grateful and just love what you're doing, man.
55:17
[SPEAKER_02]: Can't wait to hear the great stories that come out of this.
55:20
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, thank you.
55:20
[SPEAKER_00]: And I just love the work that you all are doing.
55:23
[SPEAKER_00]: And like I think that I've already shared it with people and that and it's so interesting because you never know like when you throw that that stone and the lake and the ripples like this.
55:31
[SPEAKER_00]: What you all are doing a hundred episodes like I'm going through your catalog like I'm pulling up stuff and it's It's interesting like even your guests that you've had the different topics.
55:39
[SPEAKER_00]: It's so necessary Yes, I don't I don't want to give the secret out where everyone's rushing here and people are coming to Newton County building hold the people are knocking on your door but like
55:49
[SPEAKER_00]: I love it because it's what we need.
55:50
[SPEAKER_00]: And again, we, the people like when Gale, that email and to see the, the links that that she shared and you all shared and and just the spirit and wishes is being done, I was like, I got to make it work.
56:02
[SPEAKER_00]: I got to figure out a way that I can meet these guys in person, be on this show and share and being fellow ships.
56:07
[SPEAKER_00]: So I'm honored.
56:08
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, you're hundreds of us are like, I am, I am.
56:10
[SPEAKER_00]: All right, man, let's hear it.
56:12
[SPEAKER_00]: I have 100 more for sure.
56:14
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I can speak it in.
56:16
[SPEAKER_01]: We get to 200, we call it in the back.
56:17
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
56:18
[SPEAKER_01]: Before then, probably, but definitely, absolutely.
56:21
[SPEAKER_01]: This is brilliant.
56:22
[SPEAKER_02]: Well, thanks again for being here.
56:23
[SPEAKER_02]: Appreciate it.
56:23
[SPEAKER_02]: Thank you.
56:24
[SPEAKER_01]: All right.