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4 Ways To Become Unrecognisable By The End Of The Year · Two Broke Chicks

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  Speaker 1: This podcast is recorded on gadagle Land Always was, always
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: will be Aboriginal Land.
• 0:13
  Speaker 2: Patach Simon and I'm and this is too broad cheeks
• 0:15
  Speaker 2: to show that she has love, lessons and tips to
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  Speaker 2: help make you rich in life.
• 0:19
  Speaker 3: And welcome back to another cheek day. Why are ye?
• 0:24
  Speaker 3: Juesday Day?
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  Speaker 2: How are you?
• 0:28
  Speaker 3: I'm good, I'm cold, but I've got my nice little
• 0:32
  Speaker 3: hot cup of tea. She's got a Kappa coppa. Here's
• 0:36
  Speaker 3: your week been? What's the rub? Yeah? Good? What's the tea?
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  Speaker 1: Good?
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  Speaker 3: What is the tea? It's been a good week. August.
• 0:44
  Speaker 3: I can't believe it. Last month of winter. Yeah, devastated, devastated.
• 0:52
  Speaker 3: Do you like spring?
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  Speaker 1: I do, But in Australia spring gets so hot, like
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: the October long weekend is always fucking hot.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah.
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  Speaker 2: I would love to one time experience a fall same Yeah,
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  Speaker 2: like a Gilmore Girl's.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah, like the Halloween fall.
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  Speaker 1: Oh, like I would love to go to a Halloween
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  Speaker 1: party where I'm not sweating.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, in my mind, it's kind of already October. I
• 1:18
  Speaker 2: don't know how I've gotten there, but I'm already.
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  Speaker 3: Like spooky season. Yeah it's not.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, but we were talking about potential Halloween plans last
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  Speaker 1: night and like watching spooky movies with girls, So maybe that's.
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  Speaker 2: Why Yeah in the air and like wake me up
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  Speaker 2: when September end.
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  Speaker 3: Literally yeah, yeah, you know.
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  Speaker 2: But today we have a very fun little episode. We've
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  Speaker 2: did one of these a while ago and you chicks
• 1:47
  Speaker 2: loved it, so we're doing an updated version and it's
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  Speaker 2: basically how to become unrecognizable by the end of the
• 1:52
  Speaker 2: year because I've really got about five months left. I know,
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  Speaker 2: literally like less than one hundred days till the end
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  Speaker 2: of the year or something like that.
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  Speaker 3: It's not but don't fact check me, but yeah, yeah,
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  Speaker 3: and we're in like that second half of the year.
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  Speaker 1: I think it's a good time to reflect on, you know,
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  Speaker 1: where you feel like you're at at this point, like
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  Speaker 1: the things that you've achieved so far this year. Good vibes,
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  Speaker 1: good vibes, and just like maybe thinking ahead on how
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  Speaker 1: you want to end the year and like who you
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  Speaker 1: want to.
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  Speaker 3: Be by the end of the year exactly. But before
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  Speaker 3: we get into that, of course, we must discuss our
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  Speaker 3: obsessions of the week. Yes, hit me, what do you
• 2:37
  Speaker 3: got me? Shut? My obsession of the week is Copenhagen
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  Speaker 3: Fashion Week. Oh has this been all over?
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  Speaker 2: Your feeding has been and it's the heavy on the heels?
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  Speaker 3: Oh yeah, we've obviously discussed this this week.
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  Speaker 2: But how do you feel about the heavy, the heavy heel,
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  Speaker 2: the humble heavy heel?
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  Speaker 1: Well, you know I love the humble heavy, Yes, I
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  Speaker 1: mean I did the humble heavy need a humble heavy heel?
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  Speaker 3: I think slave only because I'm like, why not innovate?
• 3:10
  Speaker 3: Do you know what?
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  Speaker 1: I didn't expect this from you, and I really like
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: it and take a chance on something, and I just
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  Speaker 1: think it's camp. Yeah, you know see I was being
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: a bit of a hater, Yeah, because I think that's
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: the thing. I was like, I don't know if I
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  Speaker 1: love it or I hate it. Yeah, And I'm like
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  Speaker 1: I don't know how to look away.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm like, I wouldn't. I don't.
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  Speaker 1: I would never wear them, but I do think that
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  Speaker 1: they're quite camp.
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  Speaker 2: What happened if a Jeannie came out of a bottle
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  Speaker 2: and then they said you have to wear the humble
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  Speaker 2: heavy heel for every day for an entire year and
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  Speaker 2: you will get fifty thousand dollars tax free, would you
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  Speaker 2: do it?
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  Speaker 3: Yeah?
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  Speaker 1: I'd probably do it in this economy, Yeah, I would
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  Speaker 1: buy my groceries for two weeks literally.
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  Speaker 2: One yeah, literally, he went milk no for two years,
• 4:01
  Speaker 2: three years for that.
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  Speaker 3: But yeah, tell me more about Copenhagenpenhagen. Yeah exactly, girl,
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  Speaker 3: after your own Heart.
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  Speaker 1: It's the fifth fashion week and it's actually the only
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  Speaker 1: one where sustainability compliance is a mandatory.
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  Speaker 3: To show, wow, which I thought was really cool.
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  Speaker 1: So, for example, every brand that's showing in the calendar
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  Speaker 1: has been screened against nineteen mandatory sustainability standards, including no
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  Speaker 1: for no exotic skins, and no destroying unsold stock, which
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  Speaker 1: I was like, that is amazing. And apparently London Fashion
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  Speaker 1: Week are going to be following suit, yeah, because I
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  Speaker 1: think their fashion week is in September.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah, and I'm like, yes, like, let that be a
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  Speaker 3: trend seriously. Yeah. So I thought that was really really cool.
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  Speaker 1: But I do think that interest in Copenhagen Fashion Week
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  Speaker 1: has definitely increased over the last couple of years, and
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  Speaker 1: it's where we see really really cool street style, and
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  Speaker 1: I think because it is sort of innovating in that
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  Speaker 1: space and showing that like fashion and sustainability can go
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  Speaker 1: hand in hand and it's important to care about that
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  Speaker 1: kind of stuff that it is becoming more and more
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  Speaker 1: popular and getting more recognition.
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  Speaker 3: Which I really really like because usually.
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  Speaker 1: We would just think like New York, London, Paris fashion weeks,
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  Speaker 1: so the biggest fashion weeks.
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  Speaker 2: Right, Yeah, I would argue that Copenhagen is the best
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  Speaker 2: fashion week.
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  Speaker 3: Hmmm, just throwing that out there. Yeah, well apparently been.
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  Speaker 3: But from what we've seen from the other side of
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  Speaker 3: the screen.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, and yeah, apparently interesting. Copenhagen Fashion Week is
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  Speaker 1: up one hundred and ten percent this.
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  Speaker 3: Year versus the period last year. Yeah, pretty cool, very cool.
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  Speaker 3: Copenhagen girls trip exactly. Yeah, what's your obsession?
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  Speaker 2: Okay, my obsession of the week is a post I saw.
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  Speaker 3: On the line and it's old jobs that no longer exist.
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  Speaker 3: Oh my god, you're gonna like this.
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  Speaker 2: So human alarm clocks. So before alarm clocks, knocker uppers
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  Speaker 2: were hired to wake people by tapping on windows with
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  Speaker 2: long poles, clubs or pebbles so they wouldn't miss work.
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  Speaker 3: Well, you'd be like, fuck off, stephens, cut them on. Yeah,
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  Speaker 3: go to work. I don't know why there's an accent there.
• 6:21
  Speaker 3: Why not. The Australian version would be like, oh, we
• 6:24
  Speaker 3: get up, but starting for work. You're lazy. Fuck, I'm
• 6:30
  Speaker 3: Saturday a lamplighter.
• 6:34
  Speaker 2: So before electricity, lamplighters used long poles to light, refuel,
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  Speaker 2: and extinguish street lamps. Bring that back aircraft listeners, so
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  Speaker 2: before radar armies use this giant acoustic device that was
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  Speaker 2: like on people's heads that they would like capture the
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  Speaker 2: sound and it would like go with like a big
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  Speaker 2: cone in their ear to detect approaching enemy aircrafts.
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  Speaker 3: You couldn't scroll on your phone on that job. Yea god.
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  Speaker 2: Pressure pin setters at the bowling alley they would set
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  Speaker 2: up the pins the Milkman factory lectors, so before radio's
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  Speaker 2: factory electors read aloud to workers during long shifts, the
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  Speaker 2: original live potio.
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  Speaker 3: Yes, I was just gonna say, they're coming for a gig.
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  Speaker 3: Town crier. We'd be good at that.
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  Speaker 2: We would be yeah, being like yo, I got some tea.
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  Speaker 2: Basically before newspapers and mass communication, town criers announced news
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  Speaker 2: and public messages in the streets. I would love that job.
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  Speaker 2: The next job I would not love is rat catchers.
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  Speaker 2: Oh god, it seeks for itself. And then, last, but
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  Speaker 2: not least, the human computer before electronic computers, human computers
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  Speaker 2: performed complex mathematical calculations by hand.
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  Speaker 3: We'd be really good at that one. I'd be better
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  Speaker 3: at being a rat catcher than that one. I'd put
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  Speaker 3: my hand up with that one over the human.
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  Speaker 2: Seriously, would you rather be a rat catcher than a
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  Speaker 2: human computer?
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  Speaker 3: I think I'd be better at being a rat catcher,
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  Speaker 3: for sure. I get await with animals. I like small,
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  Speaker 3: but I don't know what happens once you catch the rats.
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  Speaker 1: Right, they all live with me and they become my
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  Speaker 1: army second moys.
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  Speaker 3: Slowly over the word live live. Yeah, who do you
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  Speaker 3: think would win? A thousand rats or a gorilla?
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  Speaker 1: A gorilla stump stamp stump dead.
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  Speaker 2: They take three steps stop, but they could really like
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  Speaker 2: swarm it.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah, it could just lay.
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  Speaker 1: Down on them, but literally just lay down to a
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  Speaker 1: couple of roly polies squashed a couple.
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  Speaker 3: Like do the role? I should watch s Wrek this weekend.
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  Speaker 2: Well, given that where we've answered many of the FAQ's
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  Speaker 2: that we have multiple episodes gorillas and rats, let's get
• 9:02
  Speaker 2: into the episode. Okay, the first way to become unrecognizable
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  Speaker 2: by the end of the year is lock back into
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  Speaker 2: good vibes only we've kind of spoken about it here
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  Speaker 2: and there throughout the year, but we very much try
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  Speaker 2: to purposely keep a good ViBe's PMA all day. And
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  Speaker 2: like that's not to say that you know there are
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  Speaker 2: going to be moments where.
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  Speaker 3: It's not good vibes.
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  Speaker 2: Sometimes you have to have sad vibes, but there's definitely
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  Speaker 2: moments where you can choose to lean into the winge,
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  Speaker 2: or lean into the moan or the bend or being
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  Speaker 2: angry about things, or you can kind of purposely project
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  Speaker 2: and lean into positivity and good vibes only.
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  Speaker 3: But I was doing actually a little bit of research, believe.
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  Speaker 2: It or not, and bring in good vibes scientifically makes
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  Speaker 2: you hotter. So this episode is not about literally being like, okay,
• 10:04
  Speaker 2: so now you're gonna get a blowout and now you're
• 10:05
  Speaker 2: gonna get a fig ten and you're gonna pluck your eyebrows,
• 10:07
  Speaker 2: don't wax them at home. But it's actually how can
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  Speaker 2: you become unrecognizable in like your energy not physically, but
• 10:16
  Speaker 2: to your vibes that you're putting out to other people,
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  Speaker 2: to your energy to other people, so.
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  Speaker 3: Kind people are literally perceived as more physically attractive. MM.
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  Speaker 2: So a twenty twenty five paper in the British Journal
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  Speaker 2: of Social Psychology run ten studies with foury one hundred
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  Speaker 2: and ninety two participants. People portrayed as pro social, kind, helpful,
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  Speaker 2: generous were rated as more physically beautiful.
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  Speaker 3: Isn't that wild? I can completely say that.
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  Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm glad that there have been actual scientific
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  Speaker 1: studies done to prove the fact. But how many times
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  Speaker 1: do you, like, you know, you think about people and
• 10:58
  Speaker 1: you're like, yeah, they're really hot, but they have an
• 11:01
  Speaker 1: awful personality, so I don't consider them attractive anymore?
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  Speaker 3: Like it really is?
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  Speaker 2: It does. Yeah, it's like the twits, twats no tweets, twitts, twats.
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  Speaker 3: It's like the twats. You know that kids the Kids
• 11:15
  Speaker 3: book the Twats.
• 11:16
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, it's like the twits.
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  Speaker 3: They have awful personality.
• 11:23
  Speaker 2: The ugly thoughts. You've become ugly on the outside. And
• 11:26
  Speaker 2: so this effect in the study appeared for both men
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  Speaker 2: and women, and remarkably pro sociality think I'm saying that
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  Speaker 2: right had a stronger effect on beauty ratings than other
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  Speaker 2: desirable traits like intelligence or humor. So you don't need
• 11:41
  Speaker 2: to be the smartest person in the room. You don't
• 11:44
  Speaker 2: need to be the funniest person in the room. Being
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  Speaker 2: hot in twenty twenty six literally is being a good
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  Speaker 2: vibe and being kind and being nice. And it's very
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  Speaker 2: very easy to get pulled into, you know, when someone's
• 12:00
  Speaker 2: bitching about someone at work.
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  Speaker 3: Like oh yeah, yeah, be like, oh you don't like Jessica.
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  Speaker 3: I fucking hate Jessica, Sorry Jessica, but.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, Like, it's actually better for you to lean into kindness.
• 12:14
  Speaker 2: And I feel like, not in like the way be
• 12:16
  Speaker 2: Me Kained, you know that show, but it really does
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  Speaker 2: make a difference. And when I think of people that
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  Speaker 2: I enjoy being around, they are those people that do
• 12:26
  Speaker 2: really lean into prioritizing positivity and niceness. So the researchers
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  Speaker 2: also suggest that part of this happens because we want
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  Speaker 2: to associate with good people.
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  Speaker 3: Being around good people also makes us good people.
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  Speaker 2: You are the company you keep seriously, and then it
• 12:42
  Speaker 2: kind of changes how positively we perceive them overall. And
• 12:46
  Speaker 2: the same thing also happens with random acts of kindness.
• 12:51
  Speaker 2: So researchers studying everything from giving strangers hot chocolate to
• 12:55
  Speaker 2: giving someone a gift found that the person performing the
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  Speaker 2: kindness systemat underestimated how good it would make the recipient
• 13:04
  Speaker 2: feel the receiver valued the kindness more than the giver expected.
• 13:09
  Speaker 2: And there's also we've spoken about it before, but the
• 13:13
  Speaker 2: law of reciprocity, and basically when you compliment someone, you
• 13:18
  Speaker 2: also get the dopamine hit as if someone complimented you.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah, So, like if.
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  Speaker 2: You want to become unrecognizable by the end of the years,
• 13:27
  Speaker 2: just start throwing out the good vibes, yeah, and like
• 13:30
  Speaker 2: set that intention at the start of your day, like
• 13:33
  Speaker 2: it's all well and good to be like cool for
• 13:35
  Speaker 2: the rest of the year, I'm going to be a
• 13:36
  Speaker 2: really nice person. Like that's I feel like that's not
• 13:38
  Speaker 2: necessarily actionable, do you know what.
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  Speaker 3: It's just easy to forget.
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  Speaker 1: It's easy to back get to old habits because, like
• 13:47
  Speaker 1: Alexis was saying in our episode the other week, like
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  Speaker 1: you can have a legitimate addiction to misery and you
• 13:54
  Speaker 1: get kind of almost like addicted to that, like those
• 13:57
  Speaker 1: senses of like those emotions and also the tension that
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: comes with that.
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  Speaker 3: And also just it can be really easy to.
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  Speaker 1: Rely on the negative, yeah, and just always focus on that.
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  Speaker 1: I think a lot of people are like negatively biased
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  Speaker 1: just by nature.
• 14:15
  Speaker 2: Well, it's like the Lucky Girl syndrome, which we're going
• 14:17
  Speaker 2: to do an episode on this, But there's actually science
• 14:19
  Speaker 2: behind like paying attention to good things that happen versus
• 14:23
  Speaker 2: paying attention to bad things that happen. It's easier to
• 14:26
  Speaker 2: pay attention to the negative and for that to stand out.
• 14:29
  Speaker 2: But when you purposely give your brain evidence of good.
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  Speaker 3: Things, it'll be like, oh, no, it's a good day. Yeah,
• 14:35
  Speaker 3: this happened.
• 14:36
  Speaker 2: And then someone said your hair log nights, and then
• 14:39
  Speaker 2: you gave your brist you're a compliment and.
• 14:40
  Speaker 3: It was a good day.
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and you're like yeah, okay, yeah, and then you're
• 14:44
  Speaker 1: more present in those moments when those good things happen.
• 14:47
  Speaker 1: But also they then become habits that like every day,
• 14:50
  Speaker 1: when you see someone, you're probably just going to give them.
• 14:52
  Speaker 2: A compliment exactly out of habit exactly. Okay, what's your
• 15:03
  Speaker 2: next one?
• 15:03
  Speaker 1: Okay, my next way to become unrecognizable by the end
• 15:08
  Speaker 1: of the year is breaking free from this self absorption paradox. Yeah,
• 15:14
  Speaker 1: stop being so obsessed with yoursessed with me?
• 15:20
  Speaker 2: What a hit?
• 15:21
  Speaker 3: What a fucking hit? Where I really ate with that?
• 15:24
  Speaker 2: You know about? I was literally about to say, can
• 15:27
  Speaker 2: we bring back good diss tracks please.
• 15:30
  Speaker 3: Like what swish swishish? Okay, seriously.
• 15:38
  Speaker 2: From the record, take it off the streaming services.
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: Yeah, but I want like distracks of like women on
• 15:45
  Speaker 1: like their shitty x's or just.
• 15:49
  Speaker 3: Whereas that was more like the girl and girl beef. Yeah,
• 15:52
  Speaker 3: let's start ripping on the man again. Yeah, let's polusic,
• 15:57
  Speaker 3: let's do that's the next way to become unrecognized? Bully man.
• 16:01
  Speaker 2: Yeah, no, I thought this was He said it quietly,
• 16:08
  Speaker 2: Bully like, it's a secret. Be like, now that you've
• 16:11
  Speaker 2: been in this episode for ten minutes and you know what,
• 16:13
  Speaker 2: girls have the men gone?
• 16:16
  Speaker 1: Yeah?
• 16:17
  Speaker 2: So yeah, that's yeah, bull men next to self absorption paradox.
• 16:21
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that one's self explanatory. Don't you dare cut that
• 16:24
  Speaker 3: from the episode either? All right, no, men are listening. Yeah,
• 16:29
  Speaker 3: we've seen in the audience demographics. Yeah yeah, yeah, I
• 16:32
  Speaker 3: think it's like one percent. Yeah. So, I think the
• 16:35
  Speaker 3: interesting thing is that I think a lot of people
• 16:37
  Speaker 3: would see the episode title like how to Become Unrecognizable
• 16:40
  Speaker 3: by the end of the year and think that it
• 16:42
  Speaker 3: really is like make of Vermontage.
• 16:45
  Speaker 1: Yeah, fully, like giving two thousands movies and listen here
• 16:49
  Speaker 1: you are ugly fucks a mirror.
• 16:52
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 16:53
  Speaker 1: So I think the thing that is interesting about this
• 16:55
  Speaker 1: episode is that, yeah, a lot of people would look
• 16:57
  Speaker 1: at it and be like, all right, so I am
• 16:59
  Speaker 1: going to focusing a lot on myself and the things
• 17:02
  Speaker 1: that I can do and the things that I can
• 17:04
  Speaker 1: do to improve and better myself. But a big part
• 17:08
  Speaker 1: of that is actually stepping away and focusing less on
• 17:13
  Speaker 1: yourself and more so around like your self awareness of
• 17:18
  Speaker 1: other people and like the things around you that are
• 17:22
  Speaker 1: actually bigger than you, which I think it's only natural to, like,
• 17:29
  Speaker 1: we're all the main.
• 17:30
  Speaker 3: Character in our own yeah story, the.
• 17:32
  Speaker 1: Main character too hard though, Yeah, And it is really
• 17:35
  Speaker 1: good to have self awareness and know like the impact
• 17:39
  Speaker 1: that you have on people and that your habits are
• 17:41
  Speaker 1: having on yourself and your behaviors.
• 17:43
  Speaker 3: But I remember how we've.
• 17:44
  Speaker 2: Spoken about as well that like, I feel like we
• 17:47
  Speaker 2: could probably all think of or know someone that took
• 17:50
  Speaker 2: like being a main character a little bit too literally
• 17:52
  Speaker 2: as well. And then like chaos and misery and drama
• 17:57
  Speaker 2: becomes like a necessity, yeah, to life.
• 18:01
  Speaker 1: Because they're so often the juiciest plot lines. Yeah, so
• 18:04
  Speaker 1: they become you know, almost like a little bit addicted
• 18:06
  Speaker 1: to those sorts of things.
• 18:08
  Speaker 3: But then also, yeah, there's a difference.
• 18:10
  Speaker 2: They blame like being rude or late or being like
• 18:14
  Speaker 2: main character, not yeah, you just being a shit friend,
• 18:18
  Speaker 2: Like no, you actually forgot my birthday and didn't show
• 18:21
  Speaker 2: up and kicked my dog. Like that's not being a
• 18:24
  Speaker 2: main character, Jessica, it's being.
• 18:30
  Speaker 3: For I love Jessica.
• 18:32
  Speaker 1: Yeah, but yeah, so it's good to have self awareness,
• 18:36
  Speaker 1: but if you're obsessing over your behavior and being overly
• 18:40
  Speaker 1: controlling and rigid with your life or overly critical with yourself,
• 18:45
  Speaker 1: sometimes that can also do more harm than good. So
• 18:49
  Speaker 1: I think that when you are looking at how do
• 18:53
  Speaker 1: I want to spend the rest of the year, how
• 18:54
  Speaker 1: do I want like this second half of the year,
• 18:56
  Speaker 1: to look where do I want to be when I'm
• 18:58
  Speaker 1: like walking into twenty twenty s I.
• 19:02
  Speaker 3: Know it's crazy.
• 19:03
  Speaker 1: Instead of directing all of the attention just towards yourself
• 19:07
  Speaker 1: and what you need to control, you can also shift
• 19:10
  Speaker 1: your mindset to direct that attention elsewhere so that it
• 19:14
  Speaker 1: isn't all just about you and like what you're doing,
• 19:19
  Speaker 1: like focus on things that are bigger than you and
• 19:23
  Speaker 1: the people in your life. Who need you and what
• 19:26
  Speaker 1: is bigger than you, Because like you were saying in
• 19:29
  Speaker 1: your tip before, like you're doing something for somebody else,
• 19:33
  Speaker 1: but it does have direct benefits.
• 19:36
  Speaker 3: Oh in the longer, the biggest gas up.
• 19:38
  Speaker 2: Of the century, the best way, Like if you help
• 19:42
  Speaker 2: someone else, you're going to feel so gassed, and like
• 19:45
  Speaker 2: there are also such easy little ways to do all
• 19:49
  Speaker 2: of that, Like some of my personal favorites since you asked,
• 19:53
  Speaker 2: sound like donating blood, going and donating like plasma or blood.
• 20:00
  Speaker 2: You can also go and donate old books to those
• 20:03
  Speaker 2: like communal libraries on the street.
• 20:05
  Speaker 3: Like community libraries.
• 20:07
  Speaker 2: You can donate old towels or bedding to shelters like
• 20:11
  Speaker 2: they always need things like that. There's very easy ways
• 20:14
  Speaker 2: to kind of do something for someone else, and I'm sure.
• 20:17
  Speaker 3: It has the same effect as what.
• 20:19
  Speaker 2: We were saying before, is the compliment thing of being
• 20:21
  Speaker 2: like I did something for the greater good today.
• 20:24
  Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, signing a petition.
• 20:26
  Speaker 1: Literally yeah, or like going to a fundraiser or donating
• 20:32
  Speaker 1: to a charity that you care about, or even like
• 20:35
  Speaker 1: if you're say a friend is like hosting an event,
• 20:39
  Speaker 1: or they're you know, doing something for work, or they're
• 20:43
  Speaker 1: even like creating content on social media and you're like
• 20:46
  Speaker 1: engaging with their content, or you show up to the
• 20:48
  Speaker 1: event that they're doing, or you tell them congratulations.
• 20:51
  Speaker 3: Having a friend to an airport. Yeah, driving a friend
• 20:53
  Speaker 3: to the airport, helping them move.
• 20:55
  Speaker 1: The aim here is to do something for someone else,
• 20:58
  Speaker 1: and if you can't, at least try and surround yourself
• 21:03
  Speaker 1: with things that are bigger than you. Like, you know,
• 21:08
  Speaker 1: not everything has to be like altruistic and you don't
• 21:11
  Speaker 1: have to go and like donate to charity every single day,
• 21:14
  Speaker 1: but like you can do things like that, or even
• 21:17
  Speaker 1: just like show up for your friends or show up
• 21:19
  Speaker 1: for your family, like make sure that you're checking in
• 21:22
  Speaker 1: and like asking people how they're going, or if a
• 21:25
  Speaker 1: friend is sick, like offer to drop them off like
• 21:28
  Speaker 1: some soup or something.
• 21:28
  Speaker 3: Well, even if they're not sick, take your friend soup.
• 21:31
  Speaker 3: It's me, I'm the friend. Honestly, I would never say
• 21:35
  Speaker 3: nosily soup soup weather. Soup is good for the soul.
• 21:43
  Speaker 3: It honestly is.
• 21:44
  Speaker 1: But I just think that the purpose of this way
• 21:47
  Speaker 1: to become unrecognizable is that it can really help put
• 21:51
  Speaker 1: things into perspective and like help bring you out of
• 21:55
  Speaker 1: your own head, especially if you are finding yourself in
• 21:59
  Speaker 1: a position where you're like really obsessing over the things
• 22:01
  Speaker 1: that you're doing, and you're spiraling a little bit and
• 22:04
  Speaker 1: feel like you're not doing enough or that you always
• 22:06
  Speaker 1: need to be optimizing your life. It's like maybe becoming
• 22:10
  Speaker 1: unrecognizable and the better version of yourself isn't actually about you,
• 22:14
  Speaker 1: It's about the people around you, and like the values
• 22:17
  Speaker 1: that you align with.
• 22:19
  Speaker 3: Love that wholesome, wholesome queens.
• 22:22
  Speaker 2: Moving on to my neck's very wholesome tip is to
• 22:25
  Speaker 2: get rid of the friend that secretly hates you. Yeah,
• 22:28
  Speaker 2: as my headline, friendship audit friendship audits, but just like
• 22:33
  Speaker 2: drainers and diminishes, audit more so. Truly, if you want
• 22:38
  Speaker 2: to become unrecognizable by the end of the year, go
• 22:40
  Speaker 2: through a breakup.
• 22:42
  Speaker 3: That's the real glower pack. You are never hotter than
• 22:46
  Speaker 3: when you go through a breakup.
• 22:48
  Speaker 2: I have that's the hardest I've ever been in my
• 22:51
  Speaker 2: entire life. Seriously, I've never gone to the gym more,
• 22:54
  Speaker 2: I've never like worked on my actual self more, and
• 22:58
  Speaker 2: I've never.
• 22:58
  Speaker 3: Been hotter than when I'm dumped.
• 23:00
  Speaker 2: But you can break up with lots of people and
• 23:03
  Speaker 2: that's what I'm going to talk you through right now.
• 23:06
  Speaker 2: So basically, it's like a massive part of becoming unrecognizable
• 23:11
  Speaker 2: isn't adding things, but it's also deciding what you're no
• 23:15
  Speaker 2: longer available for.
• 23:17
  Speaker 3: So that's where.
• 23:18
  Speaker 2: We're identifying our drainers and our diminishers, because these are
• 23:22
  Speaker 2: the things that leave you feeling like lack.
• 23:24
  Speaker 3: Luster, a little bit meh, you know me. They can
• 23:29
  Speaker 3: be like people who make you feel stuck in the past.
• 23:32
  Speaker 2: Certain triggers from prior negative experiences or actions or habits
• 23:36
  Speaker 2: of others that don't align with your morals anymore. So
• 23:40
  Speaker 2: some friendships can be built on like competitiveness and jealousy
• 23:47
  Speaker 2: rather than mutual support and love.
• 23:50
  Speaker 3: Frenemies. Frenemies.
• 23:52
  Speaker 2: Frenemies are just the strangest thing to me true, Why
• 23:58
  Speaker 2: would you take, like fill up a slot in your
• 24:00
  Speaker 2: life which there's limited slots. There's only so many people
• 24:03
  Speaker 2: you can really be proper friends with due to just
• 24:07
  Speaker 2: like time and energy with someone that like isn't very
• 24:11
  Speaker 2: nice to you, or that you don't really.
• 24:12
  Speaker 3: Like that much, do you know what I mean? It
• 24:14
  Speaker 3: doesn't like you.
• 24:16
  Speaker 2: Like if you feel if you feel like you're taking
• 24:18
  Speaker 2: on the role of a savior in a new friendship
• 24:21
  Speaker 2: as well, Like, that's probably a warning sign, you know,
• 24:25
  Speaker 2: so this is unattainable for you, and it puts all
• 24:28
  Speaker 2: the responsibility on you to be the better person in
• 24:31
  Speaker 2: a friendship.
• 24:32
  Speaker 3: If you're kind of.
• 24:33
  Speaker 2: Always letting things slide with this one friend who you know,
• 24:36
  Speaker 2: maybe they're a little bit mean to you, or maybe
• 24:38
  Speaker 2: their tone is kind of a bit rude. Sometimes you're
• 24:41
  Speaker 2: a bit like, it's okay, it's just Jessica's just Jessica.
• 24:45
  Speaker 3: It's just jess Like that's just what she does.
• 24:47
  Speaker 1: They like make fun of you and out of their
• 24:49
  Speaker 1: way to like kind of embarrass.
• 24:51
  Speaker 3: You or battle you.
• 24:52
  Speaker 2: But the other thing that might be a sign that
• 24:55
  Speaker 2: a friend secretly hates you or is not a good
• 24:58
  Speaker 2: friend for you, is a friend of me if you will,
• 25:00
  Speaker 2: is that they're.
• 25:01
  Speaker 3: Always telling you who you are. They're always saying things
• 25:06
  Speaker 3: like that's so not you. You would hate that, since
• 25:13
  Speaker 3: when do you like this?
• 25:15
  Speaker 1: You know you'd never do that, and in a way
• 25:20
  Speaker 1: that's condescending. I think there could be a difference between
• 25:23
  Speaker 1: that and I don't know, like literally being like, oh,
• 25:27
  Speaker 1: you'd probably hate that movie.
• 25:29
  Speaker 2: These type of friends make you the villain for growing
• 25:33
  Speaker 2: or acting differently, or finding new passions or finding new friends.
• 25:38
  Speaker 2: If you have a friend that doesn't like that, you're
• 25:40
  Speaker 2: making friends unless these new friends are a terrible influence
• 25:44
  Speaker 2: and they're like, yeah, let's go rob a.
• 25:45
  Speaker 3: Bank or something. Yeah, and yeah, maybe.
• 25:49
  Speaker 2: Like the friendship hasn't always been like that. But if
• 25:51
  Speaker 2: there is a friend that is anchoring you, or a
• 25:55
  Speaker 2: relationship that is anchoring you to a past version of
• 25:59
  Speaker 2: yourself because that's more comfortable for them, that is an anchor,
• 26:03
  Speaker 2: you got a let up, cut off, get him out
• 26:07
  Speaker 2: of it, even just creating some space. But it kind
• 26:10
  Speaker 2: of when I was going down this rabbit hole, if
• 26:12
  Speaker 2: you will, I came across this thing which kind of
• 26:15
  Speaker 2: a similar kind of is not But have you heard
• 26:17
  Speaker 2: of the August theory.
• 26:19
  Speaker 3: I've heard of it, but I get confused.
• 26:22
  Speaker 2: Yes, every month, the March theory, there's the Updavid theory.
• 26:26
  Speaker 3: Now we have the August theory.
• 26:29
  Speaker 2: So it's basically a twenty twenty six like social media
• 26:32
  Speaker 2: dating trend, and it says that August is.
• 26:35
  Speaker 3: A relationship turning point.
• 26:37
  Speaker 2: It's when situationships either become more serious or they end,
• 26:41
  Speaker 2: or an x like will re enter the scenario, back,
• 26:47
  Speaker 2: get back. So the logic is that August kind of
• 26:50
  Speaker 2: sits at the end of you know, a loose, carefree
• 26:54
  Speaker 2: summer period if you're in the northern hemisphere, and it's
• 26:58
  Speaker 2: right before people kind of are returning to their routine,
• 27:02
  Speaker 2: especially for like as well Vice versa late summer.
• 27:05
  Speaker 3: Like you're going out, you're having.
• 27:06
  Speaker 2: Fun, you're getting out of hibernation that is winter, and
• 27:10
  Speaker 2: it's kind of this natural pressure to like reassess what
• 27:14
  Speaker 2: and who you want to take into the end of
• 27:16
  Speaker 2: the year. And experts quoted by Vice described it as
• 27:20
  Speaker 2: basically make or break moments, and that's what August is.
• 27:26
  Speaker 3: So like relationships either continue or the end.
• 27:28
  Speaker 1: Yeah, well it's like do you want to take this
• 27:30
  Speaker 1: relationship into Christmas and the New Year?
• 27:32
  Speaker 3: Exactly? So spoiler a lot.
• 27:36
  Speaker 2: There's actually no like magical force that makes this happen
• 27:39
  Speaker 2: in August. There is the lions Gate though in August,
• 27:44
  Speaker 2: which the lions Gate, it's lovely, it's a bit witchy.
• 27:50
  Speaker 2: I think it's the eighth of August, so it's gone
• 27:54
  Speaker 2: by the time this episode comes out. But we can
• 27:57
  Speaker 2: just maybe take that entire energy into August. But August
• 28:00
  Speaker 2: is like really strong for like wishing and manifestation, and
• 28:04
  Speaker 2: so the lions Gate is traditionally like really good for
• 28:06
  Speaker 2: manifesting what you want and putting good feelers out there.
• 28:10
  Speaker 2: The fifth of August is apparently also really good for
• 28:12
  Speaker 2: making wishes, which.
• 28:13
  Speaker 3: Both of those hast so say this episode for next year. Yeah,
• 28:17
  Speaker 3: they're like, you didn't do it earlier. I'm like, nah,
• 28:19
  Speaker 3: forgot sorry, Market and the Cow.
• 28:21
  Speaker 2: But there's also some psychology to why periods like August
• 28:26
  Speaker 2: can be so significant, and it's because researchers call them
• 28:30
  Speaker 2: temporal landmarks. So things like birthdays, Mondays, New Year's Day,
• 28:37
  Speaker 2: or the beginning of a new season naturally divide our
• 28:41
  Speaker 2: lives into before and afters, so they create psychological distance
• 28:46
  Speaker 2: between who we've been and who we want to become,
• 28:48
  Speaker 2: which can make it easier to start behaving differently.
• 28:51
  Speaker 3: And I think that's where this.
• 28:53
  Speaker 2: Whole idea of like August comes into it being like
• 28:56
  Speaker 2: five months left of the year, Who do I want
• 28:58
  Speaker 2: to be at the end of the year, Time to reset,
• 29:01
  Speaker 2: And it does have that kind of like feeling to
• 29:03
  Speaker 2: it that comes with a Monday, Yeah, you know, fresh
• 29:07
  Speaker 2: start exactly, because you don't have to wait till January
• 29:10
  Speaker 2: to like reinvent yourself.
• 29:11
  Speaker 3: You don't even have to wait till Monday.
• 29:13
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, you can kind of just start uplifting
• 29:17
  Speaker 2: yourself whenever you want. But in order to do that,
• 29:20
  Speaker 2: you also can't be weighed down by things that diminish
• 29:23
  Speaker 2: or drain your light in that So if their relationship,
• 29:27
  Speaker 2: including relationships, if there's someone that makes you feel sad
• 29:30
  Speaker 2: or bad, like distance the shit out of that you
• 29:32
  Speaker 2: be like sorry, sorry, bye bye. I think that's the
• 29:35
  Speaker 2: thing that's so tough, because especially with those friendship Like
• 29:38
  Speaker 2: with friendships like that, I think a lot of the
• 29:41
  Speaker 2: reason that people hold on to them is because one, like,
• 29:44
  Speaker 2: you have history with somebody and like you probably still care,
• 29:47
  Speaker 2: Like you very likely still care about them even if
• 29:50
  Speaker 2: you have like a bit of a toxic friendship. But
• 29:53
  Speaker 2: also somebody who is like constantly putting you down or
• 29:58
  Speaker 2: like doesn't want you to grow or change and evolve
• 30:00
  Speaker 2: into a better version of yourself. Like maybe it's like
• 30:04
  Speaker 2: potentially likely to be more combative, and that can be scary,
• 30:09
  Speaker 2: But I think that's the thing to remind yourself that
• 30:11
  Speaker 2: you don't have to ease yourself out of these relationships
• 30:14
  Speaker 2: in a confrontation. You can set boundaries and do it
• 30:18
  Speaker 2: in a way that still feels like soft and safe
• 30:21
  Speaker 2: and gentle for you. You don't have to like go
• 30:24
  Speaker 2: in and be like fuck you Jessica, Like you can
• 30:27
  Speaker 2: just start putting up those boundaries first. Does it need
• 30:30
  Speaker 2: to be like a big announcement, Like you don't need
• 30:32
  Speaker 2: to send out a newsletter being like, by the way,
• 30:34
  Speaker 2: I'm not friends with Jessica anymore.
• 30:35
  Speaker 3: Yeah, get the town cryer. Yeah, send us to your
• 30:41
  Speaker 3: friends that you don't want to be friends with them.
• 30:42
  Speaker 3: We'll announce it on the podcast.
• 30:43
  Speaker 1: Yeah. It will be like remember on Saturday Disney and
• 30:47
  Speaker 1: they would do like the list of birthdays and you'd like,
• 30:49
  Speaker 1: watch out for your name.
• 30:51
  Speaker 3: These are the friends.
• 30:51
  Speaker 1: Getting dumped in today's episode.
• 30:54
  Speaker 3: Just check junking your friends. Yeah.
• 31:07
  Speaker 1: Our last way to become unrecognizable by the end of
• 31:10
  Speaker 1: the year is review.
• 31:12
  Speaker 3: Your life with the Wheel of Life Tooloo wheel of
• 31:17
  Speaker 3: the Wheel of something that's in like a romance book. Yeah,
• 31:22
  Speaker 3: the Wheel of Life tool.
• 31:23
  Speaker 1: I feel like this is something that could be really
• 31:25
  Speaker 1: useful if you're more of a visual learner or if
• 31:29
  Speaker 1: you're more of a visual person. That's how you like
• 31:31
  Speaker 1: to map out like goals and progress and like check
• 31:34
  Speaker 1: in with yourself.
• 31:36
  Speaker 3: So essentially, with the wheel.
• 31:38
  Speaker 1: Of life, then give your life like a pizza or
• 31:41
  Speaker 1: a circle.
• 31:42
  Speaker 3: I to go with pizza delicious.
• 31:44
  Speaker 1: Okay, So divide the circle into eight quadrants, and then
• 31:49
  Speaker 1: each quadrant will represent a different element of your life.
• 31:52
  Speaker 3: Okay, you obviously can pick whatever you customize your pizza.
• 31:56
  Speaker 2: You can be like pepperoni, pineapples, chili. We've really made
• 32:01
  Speaker 2: a very unique.
• 32:03
  Speaker 3: I feel like that's giving chef special. No, like, what's
• 32:07
  Speaker 3: the other one? Supreme?
• 32:09
  Speaker 2: Exactly, it's a supreme pezza and you are the supreme pezza.
• 32:13
  Speaker 3: Your life. Your life is a supreme pizza.
• 32:16
  Speaker 1: So yeah, obviously you can customize this to whatever your
• 32:20
  Speaker 1: priorities are in life. But for example, on each of
• 32:24
  Speaker 1: the slices, you would label it with.
• 32:25
  Speaker 3: Things like business and career, your physical.
• 32:28
  Speaker 1: Environment, your health, finances, romance, family and friends, personal growth,
• 32:33
  Speaker 1: fun and hobbies. Then you look at each of these
• 32:38
  Speaker 1: quadrants and you rate your satisfaction level with each area
• 32:42
  Speaker 1: of your life from one to ten. So you either
• 32:45
  Speaker 1: can like write one to ten or you can like
• 32:48
  Speaker 1: color it in a card. Yeah, and you're essentially because
• 32:53
  Speaker 1: I'm rather than looking at your life big picture and
• 32:55
  Speaker 1: trying to be like, how am I feeling right now?
• 32:59
  Speaker 1: Like that can be a little bit complicated because also
• 33:01
  Speaker 1: multiple things can be true at once. You know, like
• 33:04
  Speaker 1: you could have a lot of really amazing things going
• 33:07
  Speaker 1: on in your romantic life, but maybe work isn't so great.
• 33:11
  Speaker 1: And that's kind of the point of this exercise is
• 33:14
  Speaker 1: that it gives you a visual representation of how you're
• 33:17
  Speaker 1: feeling about those individual elements of your life that all
• 33:21
  Speaker 1: add up together into this big picture of.
• 33:24
  Speaker 3: Who you are.
• 33:25
  Speaker 1: And while there are eight different slices of this, it
• 33:29
  Speaker 1: doesn't mean that you have to fix all eight slices
• 33:32
  Speaker 1: at once. Ideally you would look at the areas of
• 33:36
  Speaker 1: your life that are low scoring and prioritize those as
• 33:40
  Speaker 1: areas to focus on because also, like you don't have
• 33:45
  Speaker 1: to like none of this is permanent either, Like these
• 33:48
  Speaker 1: things will change. And that's why I think it is
• 33:50
  Speaker 1: something that's good to do, you know, like once a
• 33:53
  Speaker 1: year or every six months, to like check in and
• 33:55
  Speaker 1: see how you're feeling about certain things and maybe about
• 33:59
  Speaker 1: how certain habits or routines that you've put in and
• 34:03
  Speaker 1: if they're actually helping or if you're loving.
• 34:06
  Speaker 2: As much effort into things in your life that you
• 34:09
  Speaker 2: want to be Like, yeah, does.
• 34:11
  Speaker 3: Where your scores on your pizza is sit?
• 34:15
  Speaker 2: Is that a reflection of your values or what you
• 34:17
  Speaker 2: want to be putting your effort into, Like should should
• 34:21
  Speaker 2: work be ten ten and friendship be two ten? Like
• 34:25
  Speaker 2: that's not actually strong? Like it's a strong pizza is
• 34:30
  Speaker 2: actually maybe everything's actually a seven because that's balanced, and
• 34:33
  Speaker 2: that's how you can actually achieve the supreme pizza.
• 34:37
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, but I do also think that it can.
• 34:41
  Speaker 1: It's important to remember that not every single element of
• 34:45
  Speaker 1: your life is going to be thriving at all times, Like.
• 34:49
  Speaker 3: That is quite unrealistic.
• 34:51
  Speaker 1: Like there's that quote in The Devil Wears Prata and
• 34:54
  Speaker 1: he's like, tell me, when your life goes up in flames,
• 34:57
  Speaker 1: it's time for a promotion.
• 34:58
  Speaker 3: It's like, when you're.
• 34:59
  Speaker 1: Doing well at work, then maybe, you know, some of
• 35:03
  Speaker 1: these other things in your life might fall by the wayside.
• 35:06
  Speaker 1: And this can be explained by something called the four burners.
• 35:10
  Speaker 3: Theory, which is basically like, so, like the burners on
• 35:15
  Speaker 3: the stove top, right, do you have a favorite one
• 35:19
  Speaker 3: just on the stove? Yeah, on my stove. Yeah, yeah,
• 35:23
  Speaker 3: which one's your favorite? The bottom right is my favorite.
• 35:26
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm a bottom left, bottom left, and top right
• 35:31
  Speaker 2: that's the gombo oh, whereas.
• 35:33
  Speaker 3: I'm bottom right, top left. Well, look at us ying
• 35:36
  Speaker 3: and Yang. We perfectly slept together exactly. That's where I
• 35:39
  Speaker 3: cut your film exactly.
• 35:44
  Speaker 1: So basically, with the four burners theory, it refers to
• 35:50
  Speaker 1: this feeling where you want to be good at everything
• 35:53
  Speaker 1: and all these elements of your life and fill all
• 35:55
  Speaker 1: of your cups. But often being really good at one
• 35:59
  Speaker 1: thing means that you have to sacrifice the others. And
• 36:03
  Speaker 1: I don't like that. I know, but that don't like that.
• 36:05
  Speaker 1: That's kind of a reality of life though, Like you
• 36:07
  Speaker 1: can't be good at everything all the time, and that's okay,
• 36:13
  Speaker 1: just got ah.
• 36:14
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 36:15
  Speaker 1: So in this theory, for example, you have your four burners,
• 36:18
  Speaker 1: say you have like your health, family, social life, and
• 36:21
  Speaker 1: your career, and it's just about acknowledging that as people,
• 36:24
  Speaker 1: we only have a finite amount of resources and energy
• 36:28
  Speaker 1: to give to every single element of your life and.
• 36:31
  Speaker 3: To try and be present.
• 36:33
  Speaker 1: And know that if you're gonna, like if you're trying
• 36:37
  Speaker 1: to keep all four burners going and like bubbling at
• 36:41
  Speaker 1: the exact same time, it's very likely that one of
• 36:44
  Speaker 1: them is going to spill over and get burnt, and
• 36:46
  Speaker 1: you're going to get burnt.
• 36:48
  Speaker 3: As a result.
• 36:49
  Speaker 1: So instead, sometimes it's actually better to focus your energy
• 36:54
  Speaker 1: on like one or two burners at a time, so
• 36:58
  Speaker 1: you have the other ones just simmering in the back around. Yeah,
• 37:02
  Speaker 1: they can kind of just bubble away quietly in the
• 37:03
  Speaker 1: back bubble over. Yeah, And then the others is where
• 37:06
  Speaker 1: you're like putting your energy in. And just like with
• 37:09
  Speaker 1: a stovetop, you can always move things around, like.
• 37:13
  Speaker 2: You can move them to the top right, yeah, all
• 37:16
  Speaker 2: the top left, yeah. Yeah.
• 37:18
  Speaker 1: And I think that can help take off that pressure
• 37:22
  Speaker 1: and that feeling that we need to have it all.
• 37:25
  Speaker 1: Because as much as I do love that concept of
• 37:28
  Speaker 1: like you can have it all, you can have you know,
• 37:30
  Speaker 1: like an amazing career and social life and friendships and
• 37:33
  Speaker 1: you could also be going to the gym four times.
• 37:36
  Speaker 3: One can do that.
• 37:39
  Speaker 2: No one can do that unless you're literally a billionaire,
• 37:42
  Speaker 2: Like who can build a gym in your fucking backyard?
• 37:46
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and fly on a PJ to meet your friend
• 37:48
  Speaker 3: in MAYORCA.
• 37:49
  Speaker 2: Like, lower your expectations of yourself and then lower them again. Yeah,
• 37:55
  Speaker 2: because like we expect way too much of ourselves.
• 37:58
  Speaker 1: Yeah, but I think that that's why I like both
• 38:01
  Speaker 1: of these theories, because the wheel of life theory helps
• 38:04
  Speaker 1: you understand like the areas of life where you do
• 38:07
  Speaker 1: feel satisfied and the ones where you don't, and then
• 38:11
  Speaker 1: prioritize the areas where maybe you're not feeling as satisfied
• 38:14
  Speaker 1: and being like one does that like even align with me?
• 38:17
  Speaker 3: Is that something that I even want to put my
• 38:19
  Speaker 3: energy in? Or am I feeling dissatisfied by it? And
• 38:22
  Speaker 3: it actually is.
• 38:23
  Speaker 1: Something that I do think is important, but I just
• 38:26
  Speaker 1: haven't been focusing on. And is it time to like
• 38:28
  Speaker 1: move that pot onto the top the top right burner.
• 38:35
  Speaker 3: Yeah, if you will, it's a good one. I highly
• 38:37
  Speaker 3: recommend the top right burner.
• 38:39
  Speaker 2: It's a doodle be a good episode.
• 38:44
  Speaker 3: Someone's Laughing by Lobby Chicks