Latest / Autoras de palabra con Rosa / La escritora Elvira Sastre: "Con este libro he sufrido muchas pesadillas, he soñado con hombres que me persiguen"

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La escritora Elvira Sastre: "Con este libro he sufrido muchas pesadillas, he soñado con hombres que me persiguen" · Autoras de palabra con Rosa

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Everything around Sara is so sad that when I think of her, I try
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to remember that forgotten and dark hallway that we slipped through believing that what was
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waiting for us in the end was kinder than her nightmares and neither harmed vulnerability.
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The vira tailor in word authors with welcome pink. How about how you
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are, because a pleasure told you two seconds ago that you write wonderfully,
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that you make descriptions, I would say poetic and that I am delighted.
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Likewise we ask for this story that does not cease to have a certain mystery.
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It makes you raise a lot of things and question yourself about saying positions,
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pretending you' re the victim of something can have consequences you weren'
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t prepared for. For example, yes, I think that, besides as
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at various levels, not for me this books, but try to leave a
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premise that not everything is black white, that everyone moves a gray scale that
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is very powerful. If you realize, the book, it starts good.
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I don' t know if we can make spoilers or not yet leave it
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to your freedom. It begins with a denunciation that makes the protagonist, Elvira,
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the character of living an aggression that is false, but with a positive
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intention, that is to give voice to this whole issue, the Data Protection
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Agency and so on. And it ends with another one. But backwards,
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with other intentions and with other stories. So, well, consequences or no
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consequences, a word that carries there is a powerful burden, not as responsibility.
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I think it has according to which cases, because it takes more than
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in others to filter lives of sexual content without the consent of the person in
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question. Of course, it is a crime, but the consequences, the
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worst of them, are irreparable. Yes, I think I do, irreparably.
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If they try to repair us here we get a little into the issue
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of mental health, the damage can be very profound, but enter someone professional
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to repair them or if those victims are not provided with that help in a
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slightly simpler way or more at hand. Of course it can be irreparable,
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it can be dangerous. What also happens is that becoming a victim brings with
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it a lot of fears. First, if you make it public in the
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sense that I don' t know how to file a complaint or tell your
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best friend or your closest person. You' re already a victim, but
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the consequences, maybe with respect to your person, are worse because society isn
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' t prepared. Not sure. In addition, I believe that there are
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as a series of characteristics that give to the victims, they are given to
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the people who attack, they are given to the people who save, that
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in the end, then, they are prejudices and pre- labels by calling
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it somehow that, maybe then they do not develop like that, then it
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is complex, it is diffuse. But, of course, for someone to
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come and report something like that, they have to go through hell. And
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for me the message is wrong, because it' s very good to emphasize
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that the allegations are important, but you can' t leave her with the
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full responsibility of a victim of general violence that I denounce every time I give
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a news to a murdered woman at the hands of her partner. The first
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thing he means is if he announced no, then you' re already holding
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her accountable for that. And you can' t. It is that in
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other ways that there are violences and terrorisms, that does not always happen there
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is a third party that intervenes and that helps and that to provide is to
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throw away, that is to fuck, is that it tends to be very
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difficult, because it does not stop being sometimes, because that violence and mistreatment
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happens in a house, with a couple, with someone that you know with
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the father of your children, then you can not leave all that burden to
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rod i person. It' s dishorrible, it doesn' t make any
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sense. You talk about flight, for example, it is different when the
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person who does it is a human, because there also intervenes a dog,
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although sometimes he flees also for pure survival. What happens is that in your
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life you take everything with you. Yes, yes, I think that well,
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we all have tendencies and in this case, because in this character I
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put a little bit that part of running away for survival, like animals,
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which seems to be the lawful way to run away. If you look,
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you' re in danger. But at the same time, because also that
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danger I think has a bit of a hook and I also think it somehow
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touches the ego. You don' t say,' cause maybe I don
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' t run,' cause I can handle this, and maybe it'
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s also wrong about mistrust. Mistrust is nothing but a poorly focused fear,
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because fear protects us, but mistrust limits us. We would have at first
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with the book and you open the story with someone who plays a role,
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but why you want to wait for an answer and a victim appears. There
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you have to start trusting that person who has declared that he has suffered the
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same and that he has trust in you, but mistrust can arise. Yes,
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of course, in the end, because that' s what we talked
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about before, that we' re an amalgam of things that aren' t
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well defined. So you know how a story starts, but you have no
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idea how it can go on, how it can end, because not everything
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is fate. You cannot blame the fate of all you do acts, which
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we said before also have consequences or that cause other acts. Then you have
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no way of knowing all that how it' s going to end. But,
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obviously, I know that everything starts from trust. We were always talking
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about Sarah, and now we' re talking about Elvira and you say yes,
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elvira to be a character. If I could bring to my body the
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sadness of all the beings I love, I would do it without hesitation as
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the one who stands in front of the one who is going to run over.
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I think it' s a profile of a person who gives himself to
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everyone and forgets. He loves everyone and forgets his self- love. Yeah,
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maybe that goes in there. I think it' s also maybe a
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little part of this education we have. Maybe it' s also one thing
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I don' t know if it' s so generational. I don'
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t think so. I think it' s something that' s very related
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to women, which is this instinct to always take care of and protect people
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in general, everything we have around us, this thing that applauds the maternal
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instinct very much and that sometimes condemns you as well and we' re not
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allowed to deny, we' re not allowed to refuse. It' s
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like you see something that' s helpless, like you' re supposed to
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have an instinct that' s gonna lead you to protect him and take care
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of him. So I think it' s a very educational and very referent
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trait that we' ve had, which is so it leads you to behave
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like this somehow in your life leads us all to that. Yes, it
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is difficult to find the line or point between love and conditional and self-
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love Yes? Yeah, yeah, I think the perfect thing. Maybe it
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would be a bit of a balance. I don' t know if unconditional
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love. I have an unconditioned love for my dogs, but for people.
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He tried not to feel it because I don' t think it' s
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healthy or real. Precisely because you don' t allow those people you want
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to fail you. Nor do you give as a freedom that such relations can
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end unconditionally. If you' re gonna be there, whatever happens. And
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it' s there, whatever happens, because being a big mistake can be
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dangerous. So for me, unconditional with my dogs always, but with people
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I go with a little more time to listen to you and have no more
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than one has dog doesn' t know what you' re saying. I
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do, I think we do. Yes, I think it' s love
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and conditional, because you' re to see. I once heard a phrase
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that I thought was very, very inappropriate. You say I' m not
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his mother, he' s not my son, but I' m his
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mother to me and I understand that the vulnerability animals have you for you offer
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them your unconditional love and also, you receive bronchus. Yes, and it
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' s enough for me and I' ve seen this even in therapy,
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taking care of a little like this tendency we were talking about care. Yes,
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because, well, you assume that you have it and that you can
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turn around and it can be dangerous, because to see dome place it And
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I remember is the conversation with my psychologist who told me, well, with
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your dogs, with the dogs you pick up from the street, with the
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dogs that you have the welcome at home and it was like never before.
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You' ve been excused and you see that I have dogs that I'
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ve been misbehaved eh and I have a situation also in my house particularly careful,
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because my bitch is epileptic and gives me a lot of work, but
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it' s enough for me. But I think it' s because they
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' re not touched by the darker parts of the people we have. Everybody.
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They are not like more innocent beings, they are like children who are
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not touched by bad things without seeing bad things happen to them, but well
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you traffic them in another way. Yes, how does the Spanish Data Protection
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Agency work, because it names it in the book and because really, when
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you suffer vici of aggression, this type of violence, which happens more and
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more, unfortunately, among younger people, raises many things, the issue of
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denouncing or not or really comes out and data protection, how much does it
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really protect you? Yeah, it' s an agency that' s dedicated
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to, I don' t know if it' s updated on more things,
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but up to my experience, that I did the charity campaign its part
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of a real experience that I did with them, it' s an agency
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that' s like a quick way out of a situation like this, because
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they' re dedicated to removing from all the social networks on the Internet as
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far as a web dep and so on. I don' t think I
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know if they can do it today or not, but good that most websites,
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in a quick way remove those videos since they continue sharing. And besides,
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but it doesn' t exclude the complaint, that is, it'
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s simply the quick way to tackle the virality of those videos, get them
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removed, but then the complaint becomes necessary. I also understand why. Not
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good, because to eliminate it from all is what they try to make clear,
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because if you don' t imagine, if you have served everywhere as
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an uncontrollable thing on the Internet, then they dissipate. They can access that
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a little faster and ultimately, the consequences don' t end with the pressure,
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they start with it. Yeah, totally. I am also one of
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the conclusions that I have ended with this, which I believe is also a
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question of feeling like a calmer society, which is also licy and I also
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understand it, because already how one stays calm when there has been an attempt
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or an assault and that person, because he puts the aggressor in jail.
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But we really forget that then those victims have psychological consequences that often what we
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said before or are irreparable or take a long time to heal and then they
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can fall on another like the pieces of a domino then, well. For
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me it doesn' t end with that, it' s fine a punch,
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a physical assault that' s horrifying, but the purple one gets out
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of your eye, but what you' re left with the damage inside,
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it just goes with a painkiller. Well, then, it' s a
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topic that I' ve liked to reflect on the book. I think you
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say the emotional dependence that creates total shit abuse. A little more that would
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look at that you have to add more, but we do go with that
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emotional dependence, already to remove the other part of the sentence. But that
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relationship that is created between Sara and Elvira, that dependency, each needs the
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other needs to be supported. I' ll say one more than another.
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Perhaps and in that dependency is psi shelter that you express so much in the
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book that you open up to open your house, share your dog. You
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' re giving it all away, but at the same time you believe or
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think about it or feel it. You' re also getting that support from
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the other person' s side. Yeah, it' s like some kind
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of exchange. What happens is that I think that when there are such irrational
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deliveries and when there are care involved, I think it always answers something else,
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that is, the part of Sara' s character. Even clear what
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your initial motivations are or what you need or what you seek or what you
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are asking for what you lack best said. But, on the other hand,
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I don' t think it' s just this instinct to take care
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of and then you give it up. Everything is that I think that really,
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for that to work, that character also has shortcomings and also has gaps
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that he needs to fill and also takes advantage in the good sense, because
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he does it for something noble and something good. But it serves that relationship
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and that dependence to fill the parts of it than perhaps, because they are
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more empty. Or he doesn' t even know it and he realizes it.
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Then yes, a delicate topic is to know how to touch the key
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as you say it right, because you may be thinking that you are helping
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and what you are driving without wanting something more serious. Yeah, totally in
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fact, that at first was like a very big concern of the vira character
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and then there' s like a twist in which she also looks comfortable in
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that role, because suddenly it' s that toxic thing of power to say
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there and it' s very hard to recognize that. But there' s,
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like, some weird pleasure in such absolute dependency dynamics, in which you
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feel like you' re doing it for something right, you find a strange
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pleasure in which that person you' re caring for asks you permission to smoke
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a cigarette and it' s you who' ll tell him and yes or
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no, then. There, as there is also something about the ego of
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power that those grey areas are that I' m very interested in exploring with
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writing, because that' s what I find most interesting. We all know,
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then, the characteristics you can put on the carer and the carer of
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what we said before. But I wanted to explore that a little bit more
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to the point of how it might be that someone gives himself so much and
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remains there even if it is doing him wrong. So that addictive sense of
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power is one of them in grey areas. You said just now. The
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first thing you see is a video of a sex scene. Bonography whatever you
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want and you' re watching it and you' re paralyzed. If you
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' re the victim, imagine, but the next question comes. What led
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to that, what did that video do? It means you also put it
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in the book. I mean, first the video is the scene, but
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on the one hand, some part of society will think good here there is
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no apparent aggression. It means what situation got that taped. I' m
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not asking you, but we' d tell you the book of course,
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of course you' re also wondering. Of course, someone' s taking
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a video. True what you mean, because I really appreciate not having the
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answer to that, because, of course, it' s something in my
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head that doesn' t fit. Then it' s like I don'
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t know what can lead to someone. I don' t know. I
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guess I don' t know a crooked education, corrupt values, a sense
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of impunity, maybe a sense of power also for disgusting power. I don
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' t know how to be in control. I don' t know really
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disturbing things. He thinks yes, but what I was saying, above all,
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is that society can ask itself that question. Not how they are given
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to judge, for example, what you raised before. I don' t
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know, there' s been a murder of a woman, of course,
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but I don' t file a complaint. That' s the clearing.
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But this can also be raised by a certain part of society. Well,
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sure, but the video was voluntary. What was before. No, well,
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we left it there, of course, yeah, I mean. I
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think that' s good. These kinds of questions that kind of appeal more
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to a part of society I think is minority. I liked to think that
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maybe, because if you read in the book, you really discover, because
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that' s wrong, because it' s true that for me there are
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things that are so obvious that it' s how you have to underline them
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and then you realize that, yes, you have to sub- shut them
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down, even if they are obvious. But well, I hope there are
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more people who have learned through literature, from these kinds of situations and wake
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them up something inside that makes them click Let' s go with another character.
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Beach what you can tell me, because for me it is a fundamental
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character in this story. I think he exercises a little bit of that team
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that you talk about in history, makes a little counterweight to the hardest part
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of what he does. The life character also takes care of things that she
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entrusts to us. And if life succeeds, an apparent success, it'
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s because you' ve ordered it other things and then that relationship between them
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and that specific moment that happens with laya also at a time in history.
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I also found it very interesting to write about it, to go deeper into
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his doubts, to follow, not to follow, to abandon, not to
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abandon, and to think a little about it and about what the expectations that
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have put in a character like her of this kind of stories. Nightmares are
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another form of autoboycott or simple warnings about the ridiculousness of obsessions. Very good
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reflection, because promo is the answer this book also questions. But it'
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s true that nightmares are sometimes caused by yourself. You' re not there
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as if you' re getting more out and other times it' s like
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what a little pilot is on? Yeah, me with this book writing hasn
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' t happened much. I have many nightmares, in fact, until I
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finished, that is, I had a time that I had many and I
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dreamed a lot about things that happened with the characters and, in fact,
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many later even incorporated them through things that I count in the book, because
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I had nightmares very lived. I don' t know very specific, and
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I am of that kind, in me the ones that are very obvious.
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And besides, there' s a fragment there where I tell it, which
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is pretty real. If I am more exposed to something in my work,
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then a dream all the time with men who persecute me dream a lot when
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I am in time of creation and I am very self demanding and dream a
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lot that I have exams from the College of knowledge of the medium, than
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I suspend everything then that in the end has a part as a ridiculous half,
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because it is knowledge of the medium and another part that I swear to
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you, that I rise with anxiety, that I cannot when I think of
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the moment of examination of anything, because I always go as without having studied
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and that eats me in white. Yeah, so, well, they have
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that double reading there, sometimes the fifth most serious, and all the time
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then I take another one of your sentences. When you say get inside the
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scenes and be the one fighting the nightmare, sleep with her and give her
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all your strength, that' s a little what you just said. No.
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Yeah, yeah, yeah total, try to do something when you can
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' t do anything. You say there' s damage that' s like
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a meteor hit and you' re torn apart by parts you don' t
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even know, and you can' t do anything to avoid it. That
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' s right, on the one hand, you don' t know what
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you had in there, but you' re getting tough in there. Yeah,
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yeah, let' s see, it' s a little title.
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We' re not vulnerable So recognizing it puts you on the lookout and you
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can be a false step. You can do less harm than the damage you
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' ve done by trying to do this process of recognizing us and recognizing our
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vulnerabilities and it requires an act of courage, of course, to do that
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exposure, either at an intimate level, on a private level. When you
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' re telling someone something that happens to you, you' re giving them
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a potential tool that I can hurt you. What happens is that there comes
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trust and relationships between people and your circle and all that. But, well,
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if we' re just talking about abuse, it can' t happen
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in couples, it can happen between friends. You' re exposing yourself.
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I don' t know if you pin the bad guy. You' re
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exposing yourself and you' re offering that and you trust others to swim bad
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with it. That' s what you just said. Sometimes your interiorities are
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often told to someone you don' t know, because they won' t
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doubt you clearly. Sometimes it' s a little easier. It' s
20:36
a little simpler. That' s why and that should also make us think
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a little bit you think being connected or realizing that vulnerability makes you stronger.
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I don' t know if the antithesis of vulnerability is strength. I'
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m not so clear. I think it makes you know more at the end
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and maybe know more, because I tell you a certain strength in facing life,
21:02
because you know and know your reactions, maybe know your frailties. It
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lets you know that, maybe there are certain things that don' t suit
21:11
you, certain places where you don' t want to be because you feel
21:15
bad or don' t like IT in particular, and that allows you to
21:18
decide not to go there. Whether that makes you stronger or I don'
21:21
t know. I think it makes you more conscious, and that' s
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always positive to feel what writing makes you feel a lot of things. I
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think that mainly for me it is like my source of that or when life
21:37
surpasses me, because I put it in writing and it seems that suddenly it
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becomes a bit of sense and this book is born a little of an intention
21:45
to give meaning to something that for me in its day did not have it
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and to me it makes me very crazy to feel that something has happened to
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me that is happening, something that has no explanation whatsoever that in the end,
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that is life. But, well, I have that tendency also to
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try to get out of an entire explanation or that does not mean to justify
22:02
it, but I do find a sense and for me this book responds a
22:07
little to that attempt that has left me quite calm. That' s what
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I was gonna tell you. You find your own answer once you write,
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no, but the fact that you haven' t found my answers beyond a
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generic one of giving a sense to something I think you never find what you
22:21
expect to find when you start writing a book, you find other things,
22:25
but it has helped me realize that there are things in life that have no
22:27
answer and that in the end, they are experiences that you live that you
22:33
can' t have an answer for everything. I also write a lot of
22:36
poetry and in the end, poetry for me does try to give answers to
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things that happen to me and it seems to me that the poem ends and
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serves me when something that maybe does sadder. I give you a sense and
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the question I have asked myself is because it happens to me a lot.
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I feel like writing a poem and suddenly something that I don' t understand
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is answered to me only then I console it with poetry. With this book
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it hasn' t been that way and I liked it as well as allowing
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me to take it off a little bit. That useful part of saying.
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You have to answer everything and you have to know everything and recognize, because
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as if it were another vulnerability more than good, there are no answers for
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everything. And what we were saying at the beginning is that not everything is
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black and white. And of course, because I end with vulnerability is the
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light that doesn' t measure the living, that' s a pleasure.
23:22
Thank you very much, thank you gra