Latest / The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast / Red Flaggy with Kat Izzo

Transcript

Red Flaggy with Kat Izzo · The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: This is the Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous podcast
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: with iHeartRadio.
• 0:05
  Speaker 2: Hey guys, welcome to the Almost in his podcast, it's Ashley.
• 0:08
  Speaker 2: I'm flying solo today and I'm very excited to talk
• 0:11
  Speaker 2: to somebody who I think is one of the people
• 0:14
  Speaker 2: from the Bachelor franchise who she's just meant to be
• 0:18
  Speaker 2: a reality star. And I don't know that we've had
• 0:20
  Speaker 2: a ton of people like that lately, and she fills
• 0:24
  Speaker 2: that category.
• 0:25
  Speaker 3: It is kat Izzo.
• 0:28
  Speaker 2: She was actually you were, Hey, Kat, what's up? You're
• 0:31
  Speaker 2: ondio with Ben. Nice to be with you. You're with
• 0:36
  Speaker 2: Ben a couple months ago in person after a Bachelor
• 0:38
  Speaker 2: in Paradise wrapped. But now, of course we have a
• 0:41
  Speaker 2: breakup that we have to dive into and got to
• 0:45
  Speaker 2: ask off the top. You must be like a little
• 0:48
  Speaker 2: nervous about breaking into the in the breakup because Dale
• 0:52
  Speaker 2: has sent you a cease and desist about it.
• 0:56
  Speaker 4: Yes, you got that right, he did, no word. But yeah,
• 1:00
  Speaker 4: it's different.
• 1:02
  Speaker 3: How does he legally?
• 1:03
  Speaker 2: How are you legally able to send somebody a season
• 1:07
  Speaker 2: desist when it's a relationship and not like you breaking
• 1:11
  Speaker 2: a contract that we have, say for the Bachelor.
• 1:14
  Speaker 4: You know, I don't know the answer to that.
• 1:16
  Speaker 5: You're gonna have to ask the men, because that is
• 1:18
  Speaker 5: like just something that I will never understand.
• 1:22
  Speaker 4: I mean, I guess if I was like running.
• 1:24
  Speaker 5: Around at the time and like saying like crazy things
• 1:27
  Speaker 5: and like it was affecting his business and income and
• 1:30
  Speaker 5: some capacity. But I hadn't even said anything yet, So
• 1:33
  Speaker 5: it was really interesting.
• 1:35
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's so crazy, that's what he said, after before
• 1:39
  Speaker 2: you did any podcast interviews.
• 1:41
  Speaker 3: You're a brave woman for being here.
• 1:43
  Speaker 4: No, because honestly, it was the fact that he sent
• 1:45
  Speaker 4: me it that it was like, I'm gonna.
• 1:46
  Speaker 5: Now go say everything, because like you're not gonna like
• 1:50
  Speaker 5: try to make me silent.
• 1:51
  Speaker 4: That's crazy.
• 1:53
  Speaker 2: Uh.
• 1:53
  Speaker 5: But it came from the fact that he that he
• 1:57
  Speaker 5: went to Preston said that we broke up because we
• 1:58
  Speaker 5: were I guess they're off his friends, is how he
• 2:01
  Speaker 5: worded it. When they reached out to me, as Weekly
• 2:03
  Speaker 5: did for a comment, I gave them the truth. I
• 2:07
  Speaker 5: believe that was sent to his team and they never
• 2:10
  Speaker 5: published it. And then I got that letter like I
• 2:12
  Speaker 5: think the next day of the day of so it
• 2:16
  Speaker 5: just and I wasn't even gonna say anything. I wasn't
• 2:18
  Speaker 5: even even going to do podcasts about the ring up.
• 2:20
  Speaker 5: I was just gonna let people like wonder and they
• 2:21
  Speaker 5: were like, let it move on it when we move
• 2:23
  Speaker 5: on in my life.
• 2:24
  Speaker 4: But it was because that was sent to me that
• 2:25
  Speaker 4: I was like.
• 2:26
  Speaker 5: Well, now I'm gonna now now I'm definitely gonna talk
• 2:29
  Speaker 5: about it, because if you try to silence me, I
• 2:32
  Speaker 5: probably will not like that.
• 2:35
  Speaker 3: Yeah, have you watched her on TV?
• 2:38
  Speaker 4: I'm like, yeah, just a screen latter.
• 2:41
  Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, that that is crazy.
• 2:44
  Speaker 2: I want to go back in time a little bit
• 2:47
  Speaker 2: before we jump into Paradise. Did you watch Dale's season
• 2:52
  Speaker 2: of Bachelorette back then the claritation days?
• 2:55
  Speaker 6: No?
• 2:56
  Speaker 2: Did you know anything about his reputation going into Paradise.
• 3:00
  Speaker 6: No.
• 3:00
  Speaker 5: I just knew he was like an attractive older guy
• 3:03
  Speaker 5: that dated Claire and that they got engaged right away.
• 3:08
  Speaker 5: But I didn't follow him on social media or anything
• 3:10
  Speaker 5: like that. I didn't know like what his story was really.
• 3:13
  Speaker 4: Like at all.
• 3:15
  Speaker 2: So you really went into Paradise with like a fresh
• 3:17
  Speaker 2: slate in your mind about him?
• 3:19
  Speaker 4: About everybody?
• 3:20
  Speaker 2: Yeah?
• 3:20
  Speaker 3: Yeah, about everyone?
• 3:22
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I did not see anyone. If I was gonna
• 3:24
  Speaker 4: do it again, I had to do it differently. Than
• 3:26
  Speaker 4: the first time.
• 3:27
  Speaker 5: I knew everything about everyone and I was on the
• 3:29
  Speaker 5: beach with all my.
• 3:30
  Speaker 4: Best friends, and I think that was not to my benefit.
• 3:34
  Speaker 5: So I was like, I'm going to go in with
• 3:35
  Speaker 5: like a clean slate and just not have any judgments prior.
• 3:40
  Speaker 4: And it actually was so much better that way. Interesting
• 3:44
  Speaker 4: because I feel like if it's not working, like you
• 3:46
  Speaker 4: leave like you're fine, you don't have to Like before,
• 3:48
  Speaker 4: I felt like, you're like, well, I set this idea
• 3:51
  Speaker 4: of what I was supposed to leave with, so now
• 3:52
  Speaker 4: I'm going to do all these crazy things to leave with.
• 3:54
  Speaker 2: That that makes a lot of sense. I went in
• 3:58
  Speaker 2: with that mentality to the second season, and I abandoned
• 4:01
  Speaker 2: it immediately.
• 4:06
  Speaker 4: Conditions made it really easy to abandon yourself, Like these
• 4:09
  Speaker 4: cos were so much better. You feel like ground and
• 4:11
  Speaker 4: like journal and like go to bed and and air
• 4:13
  Speaker 4: conditioning so much better.
• 4:15
  Speaker 3: Oh that's so true. I mean that been.
• 4:20
  Speaker 2: The what I was was called that area. When we
• 4:24
  Speaker 2: lived outside in the glamping, that really did make for
• 4:29
  Speaker 2: us going crazy, like you can't even it's kind of
• 4:33
  Speaker 2: fun to go crazy too, you know.
• 4:35
  Speaker 4: I don't mean I much rather go crazy with air conditioning.
• 4:38
  Speaker 3: With air conditioning Okay, yeah, that was It's that takes.
• 4:41
  Speaker 4: It to a whole other level of like fight or
• 4:44
  Speaker 4: flight that I never want to again.
• 4:49
  Speaker 3: It's so perfectly said like that.
• 4:51
  Speaker 2: So when you were dating him the first week or
• 4:55
  Speaker 2: so in Paradise, there was something that came up and
• 4:58
  Speaker 2: now I'm sorry I don't remember exactly what it was,
• 5:02
  Speaker 2: but it was an argument I believe about how he
• 5:04
  Speaker 2: spoke to you.
• 5:05
  Speaker 3: And you have to refresh my memory. What was that
• 5:08
  Speaker 3: first argument.
• 5:09
  Speaker 4: About, you mean the deb edit argument?
• 5:13
  Speaker 3: Yea, the dead edit. Yeah, the one that he said
• 5:16
  Speaker 3: that he deaded.
• 5:17
  Speaker 5: Yes, yeah, Well it originally came from like, you know,
• 5:21
  Speaker 5: we were so early, we decided we wanted to like
• 5:23
  Speaker 5: we're still going to explore other people. I was like,
• 5:25
  Speaker 5: just like be honest with me, Like we're living in
• 5:27
  Speaker 5: the same quarters. Like, so in this I would say
• 5:31
  Speaker 5: setup was much more private, like you could go off
• 5:33
  Speaker 5: and like not see people, so like if something happens
• 5:36
  Speaker 5: or you're interested in someone else, like just have open communication.
• 5:38
  Speaker 4: And I was constantly like, do you like Ali, do
• 5:41
  Speaker 4: you like Licia? Do you like anyone? And at the
• 5:42
  Speaker 4: time it was Ali, Joe or Zoe.
• 5:45
  Speaker 5: It was like trying to like make sure that I
• 5:46
  Speaker 5: was aware because I didn't want to like find out
• 5:48
  Speaker 5: watching it back because that's like so horrible. And I
• 5:52
  Speaker 5: kept trying to press for like just it and he's like, no,
• 5:54
  Speaker 5: like you're annoine number one, like I don't like my
• 5:56
  Speaker 5: eyes are only for.
• 5:57
  Speaker 4: You, blah blah blah.
• 5:57
  Speaker 5: And then like eventually, like after Roasse ceremony and everything happened,
• 6:01
  Speaker 5: that next day was when he told me he actually
• 6:03
  Speaker 5: did kiss Ali Joe, and I was like, not upset
• 6:06
  Speaker 5: about the kiss.
• 6:06
  Speaker 4: I was like, but why didn't you like tell me,
• 6:08
  Speaker 4: like what is going on? And that could have just
• 6:10
  Speaker 4: been an opportunity for him to say, like I should
• 6:13
  Speaker 4: have like I wasn't thinking and like I'm sorry, I'm
• 6:15
  Speaker 4: like we're done. But of course he minimized it.
• 6:18
  Speaker 5: He's the term dead edit to you know, uh, emphasize
• 6:22
  Speaker 5: whatever he was trying to emphasize at the time, and
• 6:24
  Speaker 5: it just felt like really dismissive. And then I sat
• 6:27
  Speaker 5: with it more. Yeah, extremely dismissive. And then the Rose
• 6:31
  Speaker 5: ceremony argument was where I was like, oh, I think
• 6:34
  Speaker 5: you don't know how to communicate very healthy because it
• 6:37
  Speaker 5: was kind of the same thing of like, you know,
• 6:40
  Speaker 5: I'm want I don't want to understand your feelings. I
• 6:43
  Speaker 5: want you to just you know, feel like I'm not wrong.
• 6:46
  Speaker 5: But by doing so, he was like using like manipulative
• 6:49
  Speaker 5: tactics that at this point I know right, like like
• 6:52
  Speaker 5: it's it's a book, like it's a formulate book when
• 6:54
  Speaker 5: it comes to me, like I've been dated a lot
• 6:56
  Speaker 5: of different versions of men, one of them mostly being manipulators,
• 7:00
  Speaker 5: and so I've studied it, and so I kept seeing
• 7:03
  Speaker 5: these characteristics. And then he also brought up like my
• 7:06
  Speaker 5: background of my family, which is like triggering for me.
• 7:09
  Speaker 3: Oh there was that.
• 7:10
  Speaker 5: Yeah, it was just really unhealthy and really red flaggy,
• 7:13
  Speaker 5: like I just don't.
• 7:14
  Speaker 3: Really saying my family wouldn't do that.
• 7:16
  Speaker 4: My maybe it's our backgrounds, like I have no idea,
• 7:20
  Speaker 4: but like it was just not I wasn't spoken to
• 7:24
  Speaker 4: in the way that like you want to be spoken to,
• 7:25
  Speaker 4: and so there was like really like I was like, oh,
• 7:28
  Speaker 4: I I don't know what's going on, Like I don't
• 7:30
  Speaker 4: like this.
• 7:31
  Speaker 5: And in Paradise or in Raality TV, you want to
• 7:35
  Speaker 5: try to see how they handle conflict and adversity, and
• 7:40
  Speaker 5: I think that says a lot. The only thing that
• 7:42
  Speaker 5: really saved us was that next morning we had a
• 7:44
  Speaker 5: dead day, like the next day we had.
• 7:46
  Speaker 4: Like no, we were just like we had a filming
• 7:50
  Speaker 4: we had a chill day, so we didn't really talk.
• 7:52
  Speaker 4: So it gave us like a day to cool off.
• 7:54
  Speaker 5: And then he, uh, you know, apologized and whatnot. But
• 8:01
  Speaker 5: and I get it, like it's I understand being defensive,
• 8:04
  Speaker 5: but it was probably my first like red flag of
• 8:07
  Speaker 5: like he might not communicay very well.
• 8:10
  Speaker 2: I know.
• 8:11
  Speaker 6: So when I was watching that, I was like, oh
• 8:13
  Speaker 6: my god, she's so too good for him, Like I
• 8:15
  Speaker 6: don't want this to get reconciled ended up being better,
• 8:20
  Speaker 6: and I was like, oh, I don't want her to
• 8:22
  Speaker 6: take him back after he behaved like that around her.
• 8:24
  Speaker 5: Now, I mean, everybody has low character moments, like we're
• 8:27
  Speaker 5: not always going to be in our bestselves. Like being
• 8:29
  Speaker 5: able to recognize that, recognize that we have those parts
• 8:32
  Speaker 5: and like try to do better next time.
• 8:34
  Speaker 4: It's like what I always look for. But it was
• 8:36
  Speaker 4: still really too early to see if he was capable
• 8:38
  Speaker 4: of that.
• 8:39
  Speaker 2: So yeah, I think it's because a lot of the
• 8:41
  Speaker 2: audience was looking at him through the lens of like
• 8:43
  Speaker 2: what we've seen publicly throughout the past, like five six years,
• 8:47
  Speaker 2: like we were looking at him as a character, right,
• 8:49
  Speaker 2: because we were like, oh, we've seen this pattern before.
• 8:52
  Speaker 2: Basically it feels like Claire has mentioned. Yeah, because we
• 8:55
  Speaker 2: know that the Claire thing didn't go well, and I'm
• 8:58
  Speaker 2: sure there's play any of yucky on both sides, but
• 9:03
  Speaker 2: just from talking to Claire, I always like see the
• 9:07
  Speaker 2: red flag looking at Dale.
• 9:09
  Speaker 5: That's funny you say that, because when I was watching
• 9:11
  Speaker 5: it back and then even in real time, I was
• 9:14
  Speaker 5: kind of having similar experiences and I remember like googling
• 9:17
  Speaker 5: like what Claire had said and being.
• 9:20
  Speaker 4: Like, oh, I think I'm still dealing with that.
• 9:24
  Speaker 5: And it's like five years later, like why Yeah, And
• 9:28
  Speaker 5: I wasn't perfect, I mean, but I still just say,
• 9:32
  Speaker 5: I don't know.
• 9:33
  Speaker 4: It was just it was interesting to see the correlation.
• 9:35
  Speaker 3: Still, did you ever want to reach out to Claire.
• 9:39
  Speaker 4: No, I just didn't want.
• 9:41
  Speaker 5: I know that he was really triggering for her, so
• 9:43
  Speaker 5: I didn't want any like bad memories like of her past.
• 9:46
  Speaker 4: So I never wanted to like yeah, yeah, and like
• 9:50
  Speaker 4: it's not it's really what I'm like dealing with in
• 9:53
  Speaker 4: real time that matters to me.
• 9:55
  Speaker 2: So yeah, that's a good point, and that's very kind
• 9:59
  Speaker 2: of you to not want to put the memory of
• 10:02
  Speaker 2: him back on her in this really wonderful spot of life.
• 10:05
  Speaker 5: She's she's ready be her best life, like there's no
• 10:07
  Speaker 5: reason and yeah, no things have changed.
• 10:11
  Speaker 1: You.
• 10:12
  Speaker 2: Do you think that Dale went on Paradise because the
• 10:15
  Speaker 2: producers may have said, like, we need to reintroduce you
• 10:17
  Speaker 2: to the audience, and this would be a good first
• 10:20
  Speaker 2: step in you becoming the bachelor one day.
• 10:23
  Speaker 4: Oh, I don't know. I don't know, yah, know you
• 10:25
  Speaker 4: not what they talk about. I mean, I can't imagine
• 10:28
  Speaker 4: he would be the bachelor because he doesn't really like
• 10:32
  Speaker 4: speak in full sentences all the time. I feel like
• 10:35
  Speaker 4: you kind of have to do that, like you kind
• 10:37
  Speaker 4: of have to like see people and stuff. I mean,
• 10:40
  Speaker 4: he has moments where he guys, but like not consistently.
• 10:43
  Speaker 4: So I don't know if that was it, but who
• 10:46
  Speaker 4: knows what goes through their head. I I think it
• 10:50
  Speaker 4: worked out where he could potentially meet someone but also
• 10:53
  Speaker 4: like get exposure at the same time, which is kind
• 10:55
  Speaker 4: of like what a lot of people do in this space.
• 10:58
  Speaker 4: But I don't think they promised any of that. But
• 11:01
  Speaker 4: I'm a that I know, But maybe that was what
• 11:05
  Speaker 4: he was thinking, I don't.
• 11:05
  Speaker 2: Know what was your relationship like once you got off
• 11:19
  Speaker 2: the show, which, well, let's actually address the fact that
• 11:22
  Speaker 2: there wasn't a lot of pressure this time around to
• 11:25
  Speaker 2: be leaving in a committed relationship. There was no real
• 11:28
  Speaker 2: engagement on the table, which is kind of relieving. Yes,
• 11:33
  Speaker 2: So did you guys leave with like the thought that
• 11:36
  Speaker 2: maybe you would date in real life or that you'd
• 11:39
  Speaker 2: be boyfriend and girlfriend in real life.
• 11:41
  Speaker 4: Yeah, we left a couple and we continue to date
• 11:45
  Speaker 4: as a couple. I think everywhere, every time in this space,
• 11:49
  Speaker 4: you never know how people are going to be when
• 11:52
  Speaker 4: they leave because like work, family, priorities, everything, life comes
• 11:56
  Speaker 4: into play and you really see how that the person
• 11:58
  Speaker 4: fits in that space, and I think that's what really
• 12:01
  Speaker 4: makes or breaks a relationship. Then you add airing like
• 12:03
  Speaker 4: watching yourself back, bringing up old old experiences, dealing with
• 12:07
  Speaker 4: public responses, stuff like that is how you can really
• 12:10
  Speaker 4: see if the person is going to be your partner
• 12:14
  Speaker 4: or not. But we did leave with the idea that
• 12:16
  Speaker 4: we're going to stay as a couple, and that I
• 12:19
  Speaker 4: felt like this time around, we had a lot of
• 12:20
  Speaker 4: experiences in Paradise to see, okay, this could actually work.
• 12:24
  Speaker 4: Like we had those really unique challenges. We had some adversity.
• 12:28
  Speaker 5: Then I had all this stuff with my ex and
• 12:30
  Speaker 5: all that nonsense come up, but I was able to
• 12:31
  Speaker 5: see him through that, so I felt like I had
• 12:34
  Speaker 5: enough to go off of to feel safe, like leaving
• 12:36
  Speaker 5: boyfriend or girlfriend. So came off and we were still
• 12:40
  Speaker 5: like trying to see each other, but he was really
• 12:42
  Speaker 5: like strict about us not going on.
• 12:44
  Speaker 3: Public okay because he didn't want to get in trouble
• 12:47
  Speaker 3: with the show, right, yeah, Oh you think there's more
• 12:51
  Speaker 3: to that.
• 12:52
  Speaker 4: No, it felt really weird, Like I don't know, it
• 12:54
  Speaker 4: felt really weird. I've just never experienced it to that
• 12:58
  Speaker 4: extent before, you know, but who knows. I don't know.
• 13:01
  Speaker 4: It just felt like not getting it just felt weird.
• 13:03
  Speaker 4: Like we could go to okay, like no one, there's
• 13:06
  Speaker 4: not paparazzi. Okay, yeah, yeah, we could walk into a
• 13:10
  Speaker 4: store together like you know whatever.
• 13:13
  Speaker 2: Yeah, worse that's gonna happen is like a fan takes
• 13:16
  Speaker 2: a picture and it's.
• 13:19
  Speaker 4: Like yeah, at it right, Like like we're like.
• 13:24
  Speaker 2: It's not like you were the lead of a show
• 13:27
  Speaker 2: going out in public, which obviously is a huge no no.
• 13:30
  Speaker 2: But like Bachelor people hanging out together that may have
• 13:34
  Speaker 2: possibly been on Paradise.
• 13:35
  Speaker 3: It's probably not that big of a deal.
• 13:37
  Speaker 2: But I also want to give him the benefit of
• 13:38
  Speaker 2: the doubt, like he.
• 13:40
  Speaker 4: Had experienced that with her, and I was trying to
• 13:42
  Speaker 4: tell him, like it is not the same. I'm also
• 13:44
  Speaker 4: we're not even age, like, we're not deep. We don't
• 13:46
  Speaker 4: even go to like you know what I mean. But whatever,
• 13:49
  Speaker 4: it was just weird.
• 13:49
  Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, So when you did hang out together for
• 13:53
  Speaker 2: the first time off camera, what did it feel like.
• 13:56
  Speaker 5: Honestly, it felt fine. He came to seeing it like
• 13:58
  Speaker 5: right away. I worked, you know, my normal Monday through
• 14:02
  Speaker 5: Thursday schedule. He would like be at my house and
• 14:04
  Speaker 5: it was really like easy and like nice. But we
• 14:08
  Speaker 5: didn't really have like the opportunity to like do stuff
• 14:11
  Speaker 5: outside of my house, so it was kind of just
• 14:15
  Speaker 5: like chill.
• 14:15
  Speaker 4: I felt like we were still in paradise almost.
• 14:17
  Speaker 3: Did it feel like the connection was still very strong?
• 14:20
  Speaker 5: I don't know if the connection was ever like extremely
• 14:23
  Speaker 5: like there was like I was really like letting things
• 14:26
  Speaker 5: move naturally, and if I'm being honest, like it's always
• 14:30
  Speaker 5: stayed kind of like in the middle, never been like,
• 14:32
  Speaker 5: oh I'm so in love or he's one hundred percent
• 14:34
  Speaker 5: my husband, like this is my person forever. I've definitely
• 14:36
  Speaker 5: experienced that before, and I think because I didn't really
• 14:40
  Speaker 5: create people in my mind anymore, like I allowed them
• 14:42
  Speaker 5: to really show me.
• 14:42
  Speaker 4: I was like it was just kind of like medium,
• 14:45
  Speaker 4: you know. I liked him.
• 14:47
  Speaker 5: I was still really excited for a future and like
• 14:50
  Speaker 5: at that time, like I was like, Okay, this could
• 14:52
  Speaker 5: be like something that grows into something great, but it
• 14:54
  Speaker 5: was still really early.
• 14:55
  Speaker 2: So when it wasn't super early, but like when it
• 14:58
  Speaker 2: started airing, so like two months into after, like you
• 15:03
  Speaker 2: guys left Paradise, did you go into that press thinking
• 15:08
  Speaker 2: that you were like a strong couple or were you
• 15:10
  Speaker 2: worried that you were going to present yourself as a
• 15:11
  Speaker 2: couple and it didn't feel very good? Which time when
• 15:15
  Speaker 2: you started doing like the wrap up press like after
• 15:18
  Speaker 2: a finally, Well.
• 15:19
  Speaker 4: So at that time I was going through everything with
• 15:22
  Speaker 4: like Alicia and Sean and all the things that were
• 15:25
  Speaker 4: coming from that, and he was really supportive, so I
• 15:28
  Speaker 4: felt like actually like very taken care of or at
• 15:31
  Speaker 4: least like understood, and like like last time I did
• 15:34
  Speaker 4: Paradise and I went through all like the public hate
• 15:37
  Speaker 4: and all the things with that, I didn't have as
• 15:39
  Speaker 4: much support for my partner that I think I just
• 15:43
  Speaker 4: did it because he wasn't really capable of that.
• 15:45
  Speaker 5: So it felt really good to have someone that was
• 15:47
  Speaker 5: like there and like not letting outset opinion adjust their
• 15:50
  Speaker 5: opinion of me. But it was also really focused on
• 15:53
  Speaker 5: that because it was bringing up a lot of like
• 15:54
  Speaker 5: traumatic memories of two years ago.
• 15:57
  Speaker 4: So it was I felt pretty good at that time.
• 16:00
  Speaker 4: And then I think when it was done wrapping and
• 16:03
  Speaker 4: we were living our life as a normal couple, like
• 16:06
  Speaker 4: we can go out in public, we can live life,
• 16:08
  Speaker 4: we can do all the things. Is when I was
• 16:10
  Speaker 4: like still unsatisfied and feeling just like there's still more
• 16:15
  Speaker 4: than I needed and I wasn't getting and it was
• 16:17
  Speaker 4: just weird. And so that's when you could really see
• 16:21
  Speaker 4: if there was any longevity with it.
• 16:23
  Speaker 2: And you were just on Bachelor Happy Hour where you
• 16:25
  Speaker 2: talk about kind of the demise of the relationship happens
• 16:28
  Speaker 2: at a fight in Vegas where you had to skip
• 16:32
  Speaker 2: Fashion Week in New York, which you were looking forward
• 16:34
  Speaker 2: to because he convinced you that it'd be fun to
• 16:36
  Speaker 2: go to Vegas for this fight and then you get
• 16:39
  Speaker 2: there and you realize, like this is breg upworthy that
• 16:42
  Speaker 2: you have to live in an influencer house for.
• 16:45
  Speaker 4: A content with all men, with literally all men. I
• 16:49
  Speaker 4: have never put on boxing clubs in my life. Like
• 16:52
  Speaker 4: it was the day before we were leaving and I
• 16:54
  Speaker 4: saw the itinerary and I was like, what are these workouts?
• 16:58
  Speaker 4: And what am I doing? And I thought we were
• 16:59
  Speaker 4: saying in hotel and like why are we doing? This
• 17:03
  Speaker 4: is not like what I thought it was gonna be.
• 17:06
  Speaker 4: But at the same time, I'm like, Okay, maybe it'll
• 17:09
  Speaker 4: be fun, like he'll like still like it'll just be still,
• 17:11
  Speaker 4: like we can have time together and like still like
• 17:14
  Speaker 4: spend our time together. And when we were there, like
• 17:18
  Speaker 4: I still felt so alone, like chased more. Uh.
• 17:22
  Speaker 5: I was having more fun with him and hanging out
• 17:23
  Speaker 5: with him, and he was talking to me more than
• 17:25
  Speaker 5: my own boyfriend. It was like so strange. So and
• 17:28
  Speaker 5: then like I'm like upstairs and like not like I
• 17:33
  Speaker 5: he doesn't even like come to He's was like he
• 17:35
  Speaker 5: just did not care if I was there or not.
• 17:36
  Speaker 5: It just felt like I was like kind of an
• 17:38
  Speaker 5: accessory and I don't I'm not an accessory to anybody.
• 17:41
  Speaker 3: Like we sorry.
• 17:43
  Speaker 5: So it felt very and then at the time, obviously
• 17:45
  Speaker 5: it was already in my head, so like things were
• 17:47
  Speaker 5: really heightened, I think.
• 17:48
  Speaker 4: But yeah, I know that was so not me.
• 17:52
  Speaker 5: And like, let's say I brought him to an influencer
• 17:54
  Speaker 5: house for like a beauty thing whatever, and like, you know,
• 17:58
  Speaker 5: they're bringing all the people. I would know that he's
• 18:00
  Speaker 5: out of his space, so I would try my best
• 18:02
  Speaker 5: to make sure that he's comfortable.
• 18:03
  Speaker 4: And I just did that, so.
• 18:05
  Speaker 5: I like kind of compared to how I would move
• 18:07
  Speaker 5: and I was not getting that. And that was like
• 18:09
  Speaker 5: when I was like, wow, I'm literally like just here.
• 18:12
  Speaker 4: So it was just so weird.
• 18:15
  Speaker 2: I go to the fight and then he leaves to
• 18:18
  Speaker 2: get a drink for like an hour, and you knew
• 18:20
  Speaker 2: that he just ended up chatting and doing business and
• 18:23
  Speaker 2: leaving you in the seat alone.
• 18:25
  Speaker 4: Couldn't tell what he was doing.
• 18:26
  Speaker 5: But I called him and I was like, all right,
• 18:29
  Speaker 5: like I think I'm going to like he did he
• 18:30
  Speaker 5: like forwarded my call and I was like, Okay, I'm
• 18:33
  Speaker 5: sitting there in these stands like by myself, and uh,
• 18:36
  Speaker 5: He's like I was like.
• 18:37
  Speaker 4: I think I'm going to go, and he's like I'm
• 18:40
  Speaker 4: getting a drink like relax, like blah blah blah, and
• 18:44
  Speaker 4: was like really mean to me and did not handle
• 18:46
  Speaker 4: that well, and I was like actually going to leave.
• 18:50
  Speaker 5: I was like a calling where I could care less
• 18:51
  Speaker 5: for the fight or not, but he was you know,
• 18:53
  Speaker 5: came back to the stands and then was kind of
• 18:55
  Speaker 5: just like being unkind, but like the guy who ran
• 18:59
  Speaker 5: who like set everything up, was like to my right,
• 19:01
  Speaker 5: and then Dale is like to my left, and he's
• 19:02
  Speaker 5: just like this fight is literally starting and he's like
• 19:05
  Speaker 5: going on and on and on, and I'm like, well,
• 19:08
  Speaker 5: I can't fight with him because then it's going to
• 19:09
  Speaker 5: look bad in front of the sky, and also like
• 19:12
  Speaker 5: I don't want to like escalate it.
• 19:14
  Speaker 4: But that's when he said.
• 19:14
  Speaker 3: The light yeah I know.
• 19:17
  Speaker 4: And then he was like if you want someone that's
• 19:19
  Speaker 4: going to be like obsessed with you, like it's not
• 19:20
  Speaker 4: going to be me this.
• 19:23
  Speaker 3: I heard you say this and the other interview, and.
• 19:25
  Speaker 2: I'm like, oh my goodness, that is the moment I
• 19:29
  Speaker 2: think I just get up.
• 19:31
  Speaker 4: I couldn't. But also when you're in those moments and
• 19:35
  Speaker 4: someone is saying that to you.
• 19:36
  Speaker 5: You're not thinking, like like I was like, oh, my god,
• 19:39
  Speaker 5: I'm like I'm too much, Like I'm asking for too much.
• 19:41
  Speaker 4: I am too much.
• 19:42
  Speaker 5: Like somebody Like I had that like insecurity deep down,
• 19:46
  Speaker 5: so like in that moment, and I wasn't thinking like
• 19:48
  Speaker 5: that's really unkind to say and like rude and maybe
• 19:51
  Speaker 5: like I am wanting too much. When I process it,
• 19:55
  Speaker 5: I was like, no, like that's I'm asking for the
• 19:57
  Speaker 5: bare minimum, Like I'm really asking for the bear minimum,
• 20:00
  Speaker 5: and like I'm okay to ask for things that I
• 20:02
  Speaker 5: need or want, and like it should it shouldn't be
• 20:05
  Speaker 5: this like hard, you know, But that's I felt like
• 20:08
  Speaker 5: was a pattern with the communication. And then, like I said,
• 20:11
  Speaker 5: I felt like, are you like the way that he
• 20:14
  Speaker 5: argued kind of brought up parts of myself that I
• 20:16
  Speaker 5: didn't really like very much.
• 20:18
  Speaker 4: That I've worked really hard to not be.
• 20:21
  Speaker 5: And you never want your partner to bring out a
• 20:23
  Speaker 5: worse version of you, So I yeah, I don't think
• 20:27
  Speaker 5: I was like probably being healthy at that moment, but
• 20:29
  Speaker 5: that fight was to me like something's got to change,
• 20:32
  Speaker 5: like I need something different. And then he brought up
• 20:35
  Speaker 5: like my past relationships and like trying to turn to
• 20:37
  Speaker 5: it was.
• 20:38
  Speaker 4: Just really like just let's I don't like being.
• 20:41
  Speaker 5: Mean and to your partner when you're having like disagreements,
• 20:45
  Speaker 5: you should never try to hurt them, Like you can
• 20:48
  Speaker 5: be defensive and disagree, but like to say things that
• 20:51
  Speaker 5: you know are going to hurt their feelings is like
• 20:52
  Speaker 5: such a.
• 20:53
  Speaker 3: No go for me, of course. Yeah, yeah, it's not right.
• 20:57
  Speaker 3: I'm so sorry that you felt that way.
• 21:00
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm okay.
• 21:01
  Speaker 5: It was just that was like a glimpse of like
• 21:03
  Speaker 5: something probably needs to change.
• 21:05
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and you're like, you know what, I'm not even
• 21:07
  Speaker 3: that into him.
• 21:08
  Speaker 2: So this has been a couple months of my life
• 21:11
  Speaker 2: and it is time to put it into an end.
• 21:13
  Speaker 4: Now.
• 21:13
  Speaker 3: Would you guys say that the breakup was mutual?
• 21:16
  Speaker 4: I mean it wasn't.
• 21:17
  Speaker 5: It was just like when you're not feeling like the
• 21:19
  Speaker 5: relationship's progressing, like how into it could you be? And
• 21:21
  Speaker 5: I kept trying to see like where we were going
• 21:23
  Speaker 5: to go next, and eventually was like, well, he's not
• 21:28
  Speaker 5: even going to move to Sant Diegor to feel like
• 21:30
  Speaker 5: he was going to anytime soon. I never really got
• 21:32
  Speaker 5: a full answer, So yeah, I was like, I think
• 21:35
  Speaker 5: we're just not meeting each other's needs, Like you're.
• 21:38
  Speaker 4: Not meeting mine. I'm clearly not meeting yours.
• 21:40
  Speaker 5: Because I'm probably needing too much, and uh it felt mutual. Yeah,
• 21:45
  Speaker 5: like we I mean I put this on a break
• 21:48
  Speaker 5: after his birthday so I could just like process my
• 21:50
  Speaker 5: emotions without any distractions while still talking like maybe once
• 21:54
  Speaker 5: a week. And then we saw each other when he
• 21:56
  Speaker 5: came here for San Diego, and he did reflect, like
• 21:59
  Speaker 5: he did take some time to assess where he was
• 22:01
  Speaker 5: like probably not showing up like best with his work
• 22:04
  Speaker 5: and like prioritizing appropriately for what I needed. So when
• 22:07
  Speaker 5: he was like I want to make this work or
• 22:09
  Speaker 5: like I love you and I miss you, I thought
• 22:12
  Speaker 5: something would change, but it didn't. So after those two weeks,
• 22:17
  Speaker 5: I gave him a.
• 22:18
  Speaker 4: Call and I was like, I think it's best that
• 22:19
  Speaker 4: we just like can vomp with our life and like
• 22:22
  Speaker 4: it's okay and like no bad blood and he's like, yep,
• 22:25
  Speaker 4: I agree, Like everything's good on my end blah blah blah.
• 22:28
  Speaker 4: But then I got the hay Gurly text after that,
• 22:31
  Speaker 4: so that's when I.
• 22:31
  Speaker 3: Was like, oh, we got the what girl? Like what,
• 22:34
  Speaker 3: hey girly?
• 22:35
  Speaker 4: You know, like when someone's like hey, girly, so like
• 22:37
  Speaker 4: I don't know if you know, have you ever seen
• 22:38
  Speaker 4: that like on Instagram or.
• 22:40
  Speaker 2: Like yeah, like I'm going to say this because I'm
• 22:43
  Speaker 2: going to try to soften the blow that's to come.
• 22:45
  Speaker 4: Yeah, pretty much like I picked up with your man
• 22:47
  Speaker 4: kind of thing, like hey, girly.
• 22:49
  Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, So you you got this text a couple
• 22:52
  Speaker 2: of days after this conversation.
• 22:54
  Speaker 5: No, like in like the moment I got off the
• 22:56
  Speaker 5: phone with him, we got no yeah, no, it was
• 22:59
  Speaker 5: divine intervention.
• 23:00
  Speaker 2: It was okay, So tell everybody I know what this is,
• 23:03
  Speaker 2: but tell everybody else it doesn't know.
• 23:05
  Speaker 5: Oh yeah, So I got a text from my girlfriend
• 23:07
  Speaker 5: who gets a text with someone else that's like I
• 23:10
  Speaker 5: don't know if like I want this to get to
• 23:12
  Speaker 5: cat sooner, but I don't know for her in jeler together.
• 23:14
  Speaker 5: But he one hundred percent like suck with someone last night,
• 23:17
  Speaker 5: and like I just thought she should know. And I
• 23:19
  Speaker 5: called him back immediately and I said, I just got
• 23:22
  Speaker 5: this text, like did you hook up with someone last night?
• 23:24
  Speaker 4: And he's like, no, someone was trying, but like I
• 23:27
  Speaker 4: never actually did. And I think he was like going
• 23:30
  Speaker 4: into his house or something, so he was like his
• 23:32
  Speaker 4: hands were full and he's like I'll call you back.
• 23:33
  Speaker 4: So it's like okay. Then I reached out to the.
• 23:35
  Speaker 5: Girl, and like it just kept going and like more
• 23:38
  Speaker 5: and more kept coming out, and I kept trying to
• 23:40
  Speaker 5: give him opportunity because at one point she was like,
• 23:42
  Speaker 5: there's a picture and stuff like.
• 23:44
  Speaker 4: That, and he's like, well, we did hook up, but
• 23:47
  Speaker 4: we didn't like fully, like go all the way sex.
• 23:51
  Speaker 4: And I said, well, why didn't you tell me you
• 23:52
  Speaker 4: hooked up the first time? He'said, well, I thought you
• 23:54
  Speaker 4: meant sex. It was just like all this like run
• 23:56
  Speaker 4: around nonsense. And eventually I spoke to the girl herself
• 24:02
  Speaker 4: and found out all the like intricacies of how he was,
• 24:05
  Speaker 4: how he lied and lied to me for about like
• 24:07
  Speaker 4: two hours straight about things.
• 24:09
  Speaker 3: So they actually did sleep together.
• 24:11
  Speaker 4: They did end up sleeping together fully and like he
• 24:15
  Speaker 4: was the one that was pursuing her, he was one
• 24:17
  Speaker 4: that kicked her, or she was one that kicked him
• 24:18
  Speaker 4: out of the room, like that's why he slept in
• 24:20
  Speaker 4: his own bed stuff like that, and so I think
• 24:23
  Speaker 4: you made it very clear. I was like, I won't
• 24:24
  Speaker 4: be mad if you hook up with someone. I just
• 24:26
  Speaker 4: like want you to be honest with me, and I
• 24:28
  Speaker 4: don't want to keep finding any things out like this
• 24:30
  Speaker 4: should have come from you to begin with, Like we
• 24:32
  Speaker 4: never set boundaries, but like we should have. You need
• 24:34
  Speaker 4: to communicate with me like these things. And it honestly
• 24:37
  Speaker 4: felt a lot about.
• 24:38
  Speaker 5: Like it felt like the dead conversation where he's like
• 24:41
  Speaker 5: minimizing it and then being like, what, it's not happening,
• 24:44
  Speaker 5: and it didn't happen, but like it did so just
• 24:47
  Speaker 5: so many things. I think back now to the relationship
• 24:50
  Speaker 5: where I wonder what was honest or not because his
• 24:53
  Speaker 5: capacity to be dishonest was insane, and that's what that's
• 24:57
  Speaker 5: what made me the most upset.
• 25:00
  Speaker 2: I'm assuming that you thought back on a lot of
• 25:01
  Speaker 2: times where possibly he was hooking up with other girls
• 25:04
  Speaker 2: when it was kind of understood that you were dating.
• 25:08
  Speaker 4: Yeah. Yeah, there were some like blind things that came
• 25:10
  Speaker 4: out on the internet that and I just felt like anytime,
• 25:13
  Speaker 4: like he I ever asked him a lot of times
• 25:17
  Speaker 4: and every time, but like a lot of times and
• 25:18
  Speaker 4: I would bring things up to him, it was always like,
• 25:22
  Speaker 4: let me flip it on you in some way for
• 25:24
  Speaker 4: you to feel like crazy first asking to begin with.
• 25:27
  Speaker 4: But I will say I had the most fun in
• 25:30
  Speaker 4: this in this breakup because when he was trying to
• 25:33
  Speaker 4: call me.
• 25:33
  Speaker 5: Back because after I spoke to the girl, I like
• 25:35
  Speaker 5: would not talk to him. I was like, you will
• 25:37
  Speaker 5: never have this to communicate with me again. So he
• 25:39
  Speaker 5: was calling me back and like it would answer, and
• 25:41
  Speaker 5: I was just sending him links to like better help therapy,
• 25:45
  Speaker 5: you get yours.
• 25:47
  Speaker 4: Together and leave me alone. And then he was like,
• 25:50
  Speaker 4: I did tell you we hooked up like like that
• 25:53
  Speaker 4: from that last call.
• 25:55
  Speaker 5: And I'm like I wrote in CHATGYBT. I was like,
• 25:57
  Speaker 5: what does it mean when someone tells you something happened
• 25:59
  Speaker 5: that didn't have and there was like a definition of gaslighting.
• 26:03
  Speaker 4: So I sent it.
• 26:05
  Speaker 5: And then like the next day when he's trying to
• 26:07
  Speaker 5: get more information about what I know, I told him
• 26:09
  Speaker 5: like the only person should be calling is your therapist.
• 26:11
  Speaker 4: Like I was having fun. I was having fun.
• 26:13
  Speaker 3: Oh my goodness, gracious, And then you post.
• 26:17
  Speaker 2: Then you posted on TikTok to really like make it
• 26:20
  Speaker 2: official that you were like.
• 26:21
  Speaker 3: All those guys that were in my.
• 26:22
  Speaker 2: TM for the past like seven months. So I'm going
• 26:25
  Speaker 2: to revisit this.
• 26:27
  Speaker 4: No, I don't, I know. I was I'm traumatized. I
• 26:31
  Speaker 4: was traumatized woman. But yeah, I.
• 26:34
  Speaker 5: Just felt like he just he has a lot of
• 26:38
  Speaker 5: growing to do in my opinion, I mean, we all do.
• 26:40
  Speaker 4: But it felt really like it was very obvious.
• 26:43
  Speaker 2: I feel like he's a character in a rom com,
• 26:45
  Speaker 2: you know what I mean. Like he's like the guy
• 26:48
  Speaker 2: in a rom com that's just like brings you in
• 26:51
  Speaker 2: with the green eyes, and like he's just very obviously
• 26:55
  Speaker 2: like beautiful man and then yeah, you're else does this
• 27:01
  Speaker 2: and then at the end of the day, the girl
• 27:03
  Speaker 2: finds somebody troots her well, and we've heard that maybe
• 27:08
  Speaker 2: you're dating somebody.
• 27:09
  Speaker 4: Now I am dating someone.
• 27:11
  Speaker 5: Yes, it's it's really new, but very kind to me,
• 27:15
  Speaker 5: very smart, very present, laughs at all my jokes, and
• 27:22
  Speaker 5: like just feels really like easy, like I've never I
• 27:25
  Speaker 5: feel like, typically I am trying to pull like emotion
• 27:29
  Speaker 5: out of people, yeah, or they're like somewhat present, but
• 27:32
  Speaker 5: not He's very present, emotionally available.
• 27:35
  Speaker 4: So I'm really excited to see where this can go.
• 27:39
  Speaker 4: But he's probably the nicest I've never had someone be
• 27:41
  Speaker 4: like so kind to me.
• 27:42
  Speaker 7: Oh my gosh, that's so sweet.
• 27:44
  Speaker 3: I'm so happy for you.
• 27:45
  Speaker 5: Really sweetly. Yeah, So that's been really refreshing. It's still early,
• 27:48
  Speaker 5: so who knows he is still breaking heart.
• 27:50
  Speaker 3: But how did they how'd you guys meet?
• 27:55
  Speaker 4: We met at like a housewarming praty we have a
• 27:57
  Speaker 4: mutual friend so in the wild.
• 27:59
  Speaker 3: Oh wow, that's also so rom coming.
• 28:02
  Speaker 4: I'm so fare I know, I know, yes, And I
• 28:05
  Speaker 4: was like still dealing with some emotional stuff in the beginning,
• 28:07
  Speaker 4: like I didn't want to not be present enough, so
• 28:10
  Speaker 4: I was really honest about that. And he loves to
• 28:12
  Speaker 4: tell me how difficult I was, which we have to.
• 28:16
  Speaker 5: Yeah, it's just fun like to see like what you can,
• 28:20
  Speaker 5: like what it really should feel like. Like every time
• 28:22
  Speaker 5: I describe the relationship, everyone's like, well, I'm supposed to
• 28:24
  Speaker 5: feel like I'm like, deep, see my dating history.
• 28:27
  Speaker 4: Okay, I'm just like this is so crazy new to
• 28:31
  Speaker 4: me that this is what everybody actually gets to experience.
• 28:33
  Speaker 4: Like this is so beautiful.
• 28:35
  Speaker 5: I'm so fun and amazing and it makes you so
• 28:37
  Speaker 5: excited for the future. And I know that it's coming
• 28:40
  Speaker 5: from a healthier place because before I would feel that
• 28:42
  Speaker 5: it's a prefrontal like low it.
• 28:45
  Speaker 4: Was not enough to be saying that stuff. So now
• 28:47
  Speaker 4: I'm like, okay, I still go to therapy every other week,
• 28:49
  Speaker 4: Like I feel like I know, but I want who
• 28:53
  Speaker 4: he is, so we'll.
• 28:54
  Speaker 7: See your ex.
• 29:06
  Speaker 2: John seems very sweet though he seemed like he treated
• 29:10
  Speaker 2: you well. He did.
• 29:11
  Speaker 5: He actually like probably the most, like like he's still
• 29:14
  Speaker 5: my friend, like we still talk.
• 29:15
  Speaker 4: Yeah, but emotionally, like emotional availability, we were disconnected in
• 29:21
  Speaker 4: that space. So yeah, he was like really sweet to
• 29:23
  Speaker 4: me and like never felt like any of those like
• 29:26
  Speaker 4: toxic things at all in that relationship. But I would
• 29:29
  Speaker 4: say the emotional capacity we were like at two different parts,
• 29:33
  Speaker 4: if that makes that makes sense.
• 29:34
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that makes sense.
• 29:35
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm sorry I forgot to ask this question when
• 29:38
  Speaker 2: you said it. But Dale did say that. He said
• 29:41
  Speaker 2: I love you, did you guys exchange?
• 29:43
  Speaker 3: I love yous?
• 29:44
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean he said that like pretty early on too.
• 29:48
  Speaker 4: I didn't say it for a while, and.
• 29:51
  Speaker 5: I don't think I ever really fully said it back
• 29:54
  Speaker 5: or like like I wasn't like I'm so with you
• 29:57
  Speaker 5: like and I don't think he really meant it that
• 29:59
  Speaker 5: way either.
• 30:00
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it was more like as a person, I love you.
• 30:03
  Speaker 5: Yeah, because I feel like we cared a lot about
• 30:05
  Speaker 5: each other, you know, when you you developed this like
• 30:08
  Speaker 5: bond in those settings of Paradise and like Bachelor World.
• 30:11
  Speaker 5: So I feel like there's like you can confuse like
• 30:15
  Speaker 5: care and with love in a way. But I was
• 30:20
  Speaker 5: very like every time everyone asked me if he was
• 30:23
  Speaker 5: the one, I was like, I don't know, and like
• 30:25
  Speaker 5: I've never said, I usually am like, yeah, one hundred percent,
• 30:28
  Speaker 5: he's my.
• 30:28
  Speaker 4: Asset, But there's nothing that I could really.
• 30:32
  Speaker 5: I was truly just like seeing where it went, and
• 30:36
  Speaker 5: when it didn't go to that direction, I was like,
• 30:38
  Speaker 5: well then I don't want to do it anymore.
• 30:40
  Speaker 4: So yeah, I don't know. It takes time, but I
• 30:45
  Speaker 4: don't have god blood. I just want like my story
• 30:47
  Speaker 4: to be told of the situation. I don't think he
• 30:50
  Speaker 4: was like intentionally trying to hurt anybody. I just think
• 30:53
  Speaker 4: people that have not connected enough with themselves accidentally hurt
• 30:58
  Speaker 4: other people. And and I think it's time that we
• 31:01
  Speaker 4: recognize that.
• 31:03
  Speaker 2: I think you're coming across very maturely. I think you're
• 31:06
  Speaker 2: coming across also kind. I don't know why there be really,
• 31:09
  Speaker 2: honestly a season desist about this.
• 31:11
  Speaker 3: You're not painting him to be this evil villain.
• 31:15
  Speaker 2: You're literally like, I think so therapy could help this
• 31:17
  Speaker 2: man deal with relationships better. So I mean, if the
• 31:23
  Speaker 2: worst thing you have to say is that, like he
• 31:25
  Speaker 2: took you to an awful influencer event and that, but
• 31:28
  Speaker 2: then the comment he made was pretty crappy. And I
• 31:31
  Speaker 2: completely agree that the man has showed a lot of
• 31:34
  Speaker 2: flaws publicly and the way he navigates relationships.
• 31:36
  Speaker 3: But like, I don't think you're slandering him.
• 31:39
  Speaker 5: No, I just don't think he wanted his I just
• 31:42
  Speaker 5: think he really cares what people think, and he takes
• 31:45
  Speaker 5: it too far sometimes as.
• 31:46
  Speaker 4: We all care. But like you don't have that is
• 31:48
  Speaker 4: not necessary, And I think he also has a little
• 31:52
  Speaker 4: bit of trauma, maybe from his previous relationship and publicly
• 31:55
  Speaker 4: with that. But like do better, like just be a
• 31:59
  Speaker 4: better person, like don't take.
• 32:01
  Speaker 5: The time to be a president partner, and you wouldn't
• 32:04
  Speaker 5: have to worry about that or own your mistakes, Like
• 32:06
  Speaker 5: it's not that hard. It's really not that hart to
• 32:09
  Speaker 5: just own like moments of flawed character.
• 32:12
  Speaker 3: Definitely that it would be good for his public image.
• 32:18
  Speaker 5: I don't think he's like I don't I don't even
• 32:20
  Speaker 5: think he knows himself, Like that's my opinion. I feel
• 32:23
  Speaker 5: like he really lacked that connection with himself, so it's
• 32:26
  Speaker 5: really hard to be like present and connecting with another
• 32:28
  Speaker 5: person when you like don't even know yourself.
• 32:32
  Speaker 2: Yeah, talking about connecting with another person. Do you think
• 32:35
  Speaker 2: he's connecting with Kelly Flann.
• 32:36
  Speaker 4: Again, No, I think that's like straight for clout fully. Yeah.
• 32:40
  Speaker 4: I mean he's best friends with Peter, so I don't
• 32:43
  Speaker 4: know why that would be like a.
• 32:46
  Speaker 5: Thing, but I do know that he definitely like does
• 32:50
  Speaker 5: social stuff with people that will give him engagement.
• 32:53
  Speaker 4: I also think the.
• 32:54
  Speaker 5: Timing of all of it like is careless with everything
• 32:57
  Speaker 5: else that's going on in the world, Like people don't
• 33:00
  Speaker 5: need to see you trying to be a bad actor
• 33:02
  Speaker 5: on social media, like you need to be using your
• 33:04
  Speaker 5: platform for good right now.
• 33:06
  Speaker 4: But that's just my opinion.
• 33:08
  Speaker 3: So I just yeah, I'm wondering how Peter feels about
• 33:13
  Speaker 3: all this now.
• 33:15
  Speaker 4: They probably all love it because his name is being
• 33:17
  Speaker 4: said too, Like I feel like they all just love
• 33:18
  Speaker 4: the attention. It's really interesting.
• 33:20
  Speaker 5: I want I don't want that attention at all, Like
• 33:23
  Speaker 5: that's like, I don't know, it's just weird.
• 33:27
  Speaker 4: And it also.
• 33:28
  Speaker 5: Me and him a very different content styles, like you
• 33:31
  Speaker 5: will never see me like do like fake stuff on
• 33:34
  Speaker 5: social media?
• 33:35
  Speaker 2: He like exactly stuff, which is I can't fault him
• 33:38
  Speaker 2: for any of it.
• 33:38
  Speaker 3: We do lots of cheesy on Instagram.
• 33:41
  Speaker 4: So yeah, but you normal, I keep saying.
• 33:46
  Speaker 5: I keep saying he's a millennial on a boomer's body,
• 33:48
  Speaker 5: like it's he's a boomer and a millennial's body, like
• 33:52
  Speaker 5: it's so interesting, Like I don't get it.
• 33:57
  Speaker 4: I don't. I don't think that's.
• 33:58
  Speaker 5: Like really good because it looks fake in my opinion,
• 34:02
  Speaker 5: Like if you're good at.
• 34:02
  Speaker 4: It, like Kat Stickler, she like I think she's good
• 34:07
  Speaker 4: at it, I haven't seen you're very good. Yeah, Like
• 34:09
  Speaker 4: if you're good at it, hell yeah yeah, but like
• 34:12
  Speaker 4: if it's entertaining, but it's not entertaining to me, or
• 34:14
  Speaker 4: maybe because I know so just ingenuous that it pisses
• 34:17
  Speaker 4: me off and I'm just like being normal.
• 34:22
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it's probably because you know them too well.
• 34:24
  Speaker 2: When you know people and then you watch their social
• 34:26
  Speaker 2: media and it doesn't match to who they are in
• 34:28
  Speaker 2: real life, that's when you're like, oh, this is make
• 34:30
  Speaker 2: I can't look at social media because now I'm gonna
• 34:33
  Speaker 2: feel totally different way when I see him in real life.
• 34:36
  Speaker 4: So I feel like if I ever saw a man
• 34:38
  Speaker 4: dance with his shirt on and his pants off, like
• 34:41
  Speaker 4: and putting his shirt on first, like on with a
• 34:43
  Speaker 4: tripod setup, I would always like be grossed out.
• 34:47
  Speaker 3: But you dated the guy who does that. That's why
• 34:49
  Speaker 3: I have to look at their socials before you date them.
• 34:51
  Speaker 3: In Paradise did.
• 34:52
  Speaker 4: Not do that take it down.
• 34:54
  Speaker 5: I would have made him take it off like the
• 34:57
  Speaker 5: se And that's why I said I will never date
• 35:00
  Speaker 5: a man that owns a tripod again, because.
• 35:02
  Speaker 4: Like you literally need it, not how to use the phone,
• 35:06
  Speaker 4: like you know how to use your camera to take
• 35:08
  Speaker 4: pictures of me. You know how to use the lighting
• 35:10
  Speaker 4: in the angles. That's how you know how to operate.
• 35:12
  Speaker 4: But like the imagine a man literally like setting up
• 35:15
  Speaker 4: a tripod, putting up a ring light and like doing
• 35:17
  Speaker 4: a skincare teen like that's for the girls, Like that
• 35:19
  Speaker 4: is not loud, and I it's so bad. I hated it.
• 35:24
  Speaker 4: I hated it.
• 35:25
  Speaker 2: I tell Jared to like, you know, do more social
• 35:27
  Speaker 2: stuff because obviously for business, but you're right, it is
• 35:32
  Speaker 2: far more attractive if they don't.
• 35:34
  Speaker 3: But I guess when you're already married to him. But yeah,
• 35:37
  Speaker 3: he's not. He's also doing like movie reviews. He's not
• 35:40
  Speaker 3: like trying to matter.
• 35:42
  Speaker 4: Like if you're talking about like stuff't matter.
• 35:43
  Speaker 5: It's like sure, but also he was so not present
• 35:46
  Speaker 5: with me in real life, Like I think I mentioned
• 35:47
  Speaker 5: the Prodrey's game where we literally didn't talk and he
• 35:50
  Speaker 5: did it for social.
• 35:51
  Speaker 4: Like it seemed like and he wasn't.
• 35:54
  Speaker 5: We were doing these things together and it wasn't even fun,
• 35:57
  Speaker 5: So it's not very fun to like then you're acting
• 36:00
  Speaker 5: also like fun and like normal and real life, but
• 36:02
  Speaker 5: like you didn't even.
• 36:03
  Speaker 4: Have a conversation with me.
• 36:04
  Speaker 5: I literally was making up questions about baseball that I
• 36:08
  Speaker 5: already knew answers to, just.
• 36:09
  Speaker 4: So we can have like some type of conversation, like
• 36:13
  Speaker 4: like what many are in it? Like I know how
• 36:15
  Speaker 4: many names are in it, but like I don't know.
• 36:17
  Speaker 4: Guys like to like teach you stuff, So let me
• 36:19
  Speaker 4: give you something.
• 36:20
  Speaker 3: No, I don't dumb yourself down for a man.
• 36:23
  Speaker 4: No, but like it's sports, like I don't really care.
• 36:26
  Speaker 4: I know, but it was just like but that's how
• 36:28
  Speaker 4: desperate I was to just get some type of connection.
• 36:31
  Speaker 2: This brings up a point that our producer made before
• 36:35
  Speaker 2: you got on here. She said that when we were
• 36:37
  Speaker 2: doing the interview, when Ben was there doing the interview
• 36:40
  Speaker 2: for the finale, that people on our iHeart team saw
• 36:44
  Speaker 2: you guys fighting over doing tiktoks. There was like bickering
• 36:49
  Speaker 2: over tiktoks, which I can relate. It isn't easy to
• 36:53
  Speaker 2: do as a couple.
• 36:55
  Speaker 4: Think you wanted me to do this that we're TikTok
• 36:58
  Speaker 4: which one I don't know where he's like dancing or something.
• 37:02
  Speaker 3: I hated it and you were just like, ew, no, things,
• 37:04
  Speaker 3: don't dance.
• 37:05
  Speaker 4: He wasn't even like it was just felt like he
• 37:07
  Speaker 4: really needed to get this TikTok out. But like before
• 37:09
  Speaker 4: that he was barely talking to any like it just
• 37:11
  Speaker 4: fe I don't know, I don't like, I don't like it.
• 37:15
  Speaker 4: I don't remember. I probably was just like I don't
• 37:17
  Speaker 4: want to do this weird dance, Like what are you
• 37:18
  Speaker 4: talking about?
• 37:19
  Speaker 2: So it's needless to say your new boyfriend or guy
• 37:25
  Speaker 2: you're dating, yeah, doesn't own a tripod.
• 37:28
  Speaker 4: He doesn't own a tripod, but he actually it's really
• 37:30
  Speaker 4: good at taking like scenic photos and stuff. I was like, wow,
• 37:34
  Speaker 4: that looks so good. He like knows the angles with that,
• 37:36
  Speaker 4: so that was really cool.
• 37:38
  Speaker 3: He's a very lucky man dating.
• 37:40
  Speaker 2: He's a beautiful, lovely lady and as I like said
• 37:44
  Speaker 2: in the beginning a woman who.
• 37:46
  Speaker 3: Was born to be a reality star.
• 37:48
  Speaker 4: Yeah, you really really were.
• 37:50
  Speaker 3: You have the best funniest takes.
• 37:53
  Speaker 2: You're so honest, You're so funny intentionally and non intention
• 38:00
  Speaker 2: I've always been a fan, so it's really sweet.
• 38:02
  Speaker 4: I mean, it's if you're just yourself, it's so much
• 38:05
  Speaker 4: easier to be on camera. I feel like it's like
• 38:07
  Speaker 4: when people try to overthink it. But yeah, it's been
• 38:11
  Speaker 4: it's been interesting being in this space. Hopefully no more
• 38:13
  Speaker 4: dating shows, but I'm happy to go be a personal
• 38:16
  Speaker 4: emails in another in another space.
• 38:19
  Speaker 3: Alrighty, well do you think Dale's gonna listen to this?
• 38:22
  Speaker 4: I don't know, maybe probably probably Hey Dal, okay, alerts
• 38:29
  Speaker 4: for his name coming on my god.
• 38:32
  Speaker 2: All right, Kat, thanks for joining us. Until next time,
• 38:36
  Speaker 2: I've been Ashley
• 38:37
  Speaker 1: By Follow the Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous podcasts
• 38:42
  Speaker 1: on iHeartRadio or subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts.