Latest / Dear Chelsea / Minisode: Didn’t Make the Cut with Chelsea + Catherine

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Minisode: Didn’t Make the Cut with Chelsea + Catherine · Dear Chelsea

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Okay, guys, the High and Mighty Tour is about to begin.
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: Tour starts on February thirteenth, everybody, DC, I will see
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: you there to jump things off. February fourteenth, Atlantic City,
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: which I just added, Madison, Wisconsin, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, Detroit, Michigan, Cleveland, Columbus,
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: and Cincinnati, Ohio, Denver, Colorado, Portland, Maine, Providence, Rhode Island, Springfield, Massachusetts.
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: April third, which is in Rohnert Park, California. That has
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: just been added. Chicago, of course, Indianapolis, Indiana, Louisville, Kentucky, Albuquerque, Masa, Arizona,
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: Kansas City, Missouri, Saint Louis, Missouri, Minneapolis, Minnesota, Nashville, Tennessee, Charlotte,
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: North Carolina, Durham, North Carolina. May sixth, I'm doing Netflix
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: as a Joke festival. I will be in Los Angeles.
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: That is a new announcement. Saratoga, California, Monterey, California, Modesto, California,
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: and port Chester, New York, Boston, Massachusetts, Portland, Ore and Seattle, Washington.
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: I will be touring from February through June. Go to
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: Chelseahandler dot com for tickets if you want to come
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: see me perform. I will be on the High and
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: Mighty tour. Hi Catherine, Welcome to a minnisode. Welcome to
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: a Dear Chelsea Minichow.
• 1:18
  Speaker 2: It's actually very exciting.
• 1:19
  Speaker 3: We're doing these on video now because we're on Netflix.
• 1:21
  Speaker 2: Hi Netflix, Hello, Hi Netflix.
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: No, I'll see you at the Netflix is a joke
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: festival on the sixth of May, and.
• 1:29
  Speaker 3: People gonna get tickets to that right on Chelsea Handler
• 1:31
  Speaker 3: dot com.
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: Yeah, the best place to get tickets for my show
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: is Chelseahandler dot com, so you don't get gouged by ticketmaster.
• 1:36
  Speaker 2: Okay, perfect.
• 1:38
  Speaker 3: Well I've got some follow ups from a couple previous callers.
• 1:42
  Speaker 3: So one is from our Haileyloo Richardson episode she was
• 1:46
  Speaker 3: dating online and kind of lived in a small town
• 1:48
  Speaker 3: and was thinking about moving to a bigger city for
• 1:51
  Speaker 3: more opportunity. The advice and kind of like dip your
• 1:54
  Speaker 3: toe in the water, set your hinge settings to a
• 1:57
  Speaker 3: wider array of.
• 1:58
  Speaker 2: People, and like the cities because you can always travel
• 2:01
  Speaker 2: there if you're close by.
• 2:03
  Speaker 3: So Lauren says, I just wanted to send an update
• 2:06
  Speaker 3: that I am officially moving to Madison, Wisconsin.
• 2:09
  Speaker 2: May first.
• 2:10
  Speaker 3: I just wanted to say thanks again for the awesome
• 2:12
  Speaker 3: opportunity to be on the show and to Chelsea for
• 2:14
  Speaker 3: her great advice. I see that Chelsea has a show
• 2:17
  Speaker 3: in Saint Louis on April twenty fourth. I plan to
• 2:19
  Speaker 3: attend with friends and can't wait. Thank you, Lauren.
• 2:21
  Speaker 4: Oh great, that's exciting. And she moved. Yes, love it,
• 2:26
  Speaker 4: love it, I love it. I love it.
• 2:28
  Speaker 3: Yes, you're always encouraging people to take big moves, and
• 2:30
  Speaker 3: it's nice to hear.
• 2:31
  Speaker 2: When people do.
• 2:31
  Speaker 4: I'm always encouraging people to move. Yeah, that really changes
• 2:35
  Speaker 4: the energy up?
• 2:36
  Speaker 3: It does it?
• 2:36
  Speaker 4: Does?
• 2:37
  Speaker 5: You know?
• 2:37
  Speaker 3: Somebody was saying this was Caleb Heron, who I don't
• 2:39
  Speaker 3: know if you're familiar with him.
• 2:41
  Speaker 2: He's an amazing, hilarious comic. But he was saying, he's
• 2:45
  Speaker 2: like I.
• 2:45
  Speaker 3: He was living in la He's like, I felt like
• 2:47
  Speaker 3: I need to just sort of shake my life up
• 2:49
  Speaker 3: in every way just a little bit.
• 2:51
  Speaker 2: So he still travels here.
• 2:52
  Speaker 3: A lot, but he moved to like Missouri and it's
• 2:55
  Speaker 3: just like having a great time.
• 2:56
  Speaker 4: I feel like Nikki lives in Saint Louis, Missouri. NICKI
• 2:59
  Speaker 4: I feel like she does too.
• 3:00
  Speaker 2: I'm pretty sure she does.
• 3:01
  Speaker 4: Yeah, because she wants to. Yeah.
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: I don't know if she still does, but I think
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: and she wasn't living with her parents, she just moved
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: there because she's from there. I think during COVID a
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: lot of people just move back to wherever they like more,
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: you know, once you realize you don't have to be
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: anywhere for anything.
• 3:15
  Speaker 2: Yeah, or like Haleelu moved to Arizona, haleel I moved too. Yeah.
• 3:19
  Speaker 4: Well.
• 3:20
  Speaker 3: Our next follow up is from Ethan. He'd called in
• 3:22
  Speaker 3: on a minisode. He was the guy who was having
• 3:25
  Speaker 3: like a long distance relationship with someone in Chicago. He's
• 3:27
  Speaker 3: in California, and they were like toying with whether the
• 3:30
  Speaker 3: guy would move. He was very in love, very tearful.
• 3:34
  Speaker 3: So Ethan says, hey, there, I hope you're doing well.
• 3:37
  Speaker 3: I wanted to give you an update. The boy from
• 3:38
  Speaker 3: Chicago and I have worked everything out. We've decided to
• 3:41
  Speaker 3: be long distance friends for now and let things develop naturally.
• 3:44
  Speaker 3: It feels healthy and pressure free, and I'm genuinely happy
• 3:47
  Speaker 3: he's still in my life, just in a way that
• 3:49
  Speaker 3: makes sense for both of us.
• 3:50
  Speaker 2: Ethan, So not a big move. We haven't ruined any
• 3:54
  Speaker 2: lives yet, not yet. Not today, not today.
• 3:59
  Speaker 3: Okay, Well take a quick break and we'll get back
• 4:01
  Speaker 3: into our color when we get back.
• 4:03
  Speaker 4: Okay, and we're back.
• 4:09
  Speaker 2: We are back.
• 4:09
  Speaker 3: So our caller today is Marie, and she's having some
• 4:12
  Speaker 3: wedding potential wedding drama. So she says, Dear Chelsea, I'm
• 4:16
  Speaker 3: a twenty eight year old woman and I'm getting married
• 4:18
  Speaker 3: next year. My fiance and I are having a destination wedding,
• 4:21
  Speaker 3: which means we're working with a strict guest cap of
• 4:24
  Speaker 3: one hundred people due to venue restrictions. We both live
• 4:27
  Speaker 3: very full lives and have a lot of friends, so
• 4:29
  Speaker 3: getting a final guest list took forever. I have a
• 4:32
  Speaker 3: large friend group of about twenty girls from college. We
• 4:35
  Speaker 3: stayed closed for the last ten years, talk regularly in
• 4:38
  Speaker 3: various group chats, and take annual girls' trips together. There
• 4:41
  Speaker 3: are a small handful of women from this group who
• 4:44
  Speaker 3: I adore but don't keep up with one on one,
• 4:46
  Speaker 3: who didn't make the guest list. I feel confident in
• 4:49
  Speaker 3: this decision to not invite them, and I think they'll
• 4:51
  Speaker 3: completely understand and agree about our level of closeness. However,
• 4:55
  Speaker 3: I'm dreading the way they'll find out Save the dates
• 4:58
  Speaker 3: are going out soon, and I know the group will
• 5:00
  Speaker 3: inevitably be full of photos of people receiving these save
• 5:03
  Speaker 3: the dates and general excitement around the event.
• 5:05
  Speaker 2: I hate the idea of these few.
• 5:07
  Speaker 3: Women finding out they're the only ones not invited because
• 5:09
  Speaker 3: they didn't get one. So my question is it better
• 5:12
  Speaker 3: to say nothing and let the unfold naturally or is
• 5:15
  Speaker 3: there a kind mature way to acknowledge it ahead of
• 5:17
  Speaker 3: time without making things awkward. Does addressing it beforehand create
• 5:21
  Speaker 3: unnecessary discomfort or is it actually the more respectful move?
• 5:25
  Speaker 3: And in a situation where it feels like I'm too
• 5:27
  Speaker 3: close with them to not address it, but not close
• 5:29
  Speaker 3: enough to actually invite them, You're the queen of sisterhood
• 5:32
  Speaker 3: and what it means to be honest and a good friend.
• 5:34
  Speaker 2: So I love your opinion.
• 5:35
  Speaker 4: Marie Hi, Marie Hi, Hi, You're so cute.
• 5:40
  Speaker 5: Oh my god, thank you.
• 5:41
  Speaker 4: You're welcome to How many of them?
• 5:42
  Speaker 5: So you're cute?
• 5:44
  Speaker 4: How many of the girls did you?
• 5:45
  Speaker 1: Out of the twenty girls, were you not able to
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: invite three?
• 5:49
  Speaker 4: Okay?
• 5:49
  Speaker 5: Just horriful because I feel like if it was a
• 5:51
  Speaker 5: bigger group, it was half of them. This is self explanatory.
• 5:54
  Speaker 5: I would just let it like play out naturally, but
• 5:56
  Speaker 5: the small group makes it feel targeted and I just
• 6:00
  Speaker 5: don't like it.
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and there's no way to include them even without
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: guests if you could.
• 6:09
  Speaker 5: Not. Really, I've just compromised so much with my fiance,
• 6:14
  Speaker 5: like my friends already take up the whole event, have
• 6:18
  Speaker 5: to let him invite people from his life too, So
• 6:21
  Speaker 5: I just feel like, again, I'm like confident in the
• 6:24
  Speaker 5: decision not to invite them, and I don't think that
• 6:26
  Speaker 5: they would be shocked. I just I don't like the
• 6:30
  Speaker 5: idea of being like I didn't receive mine and no.
• 6:35
  Speaker 1: No, I definitely think three is a tricky number to
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: leave out out of twenty. So I think that's a
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: little sensitive. So I think you should be You should
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: shoat it with some sensitivity and reach out to the
• 6:43
  Speaker 1: three girls beforehand, and maybe there's something nice you can
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: do for them that doesn't involve inviting them to your
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: wedding and sending them a nice card or a great idea.
• 6:51
  Speaker 1: I mean, you want them to find out sooner than later,
• 6:53
  Speaker 1: but I think you should definitely say something before just
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: say listen. It was huge compromise to get as many
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: people as I wanted to wanted to invite to this,
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: Like we have a limit, and we have limited funds,
• 7:04
  Speaker 1: we have a limited capacity. I know you guys will
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: totally understand, but I just wanted to let you know
• 7:09
  Speaker 1: that I wasn't able to invite everyone from our group,
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: you know, and that makes it clear that they're not
• 7:15
  Speaker 1: invited to the thing. But I definitely think you should
• 7:17
  Speaker 1: reach out before they find out another way and just
• 7:19
  Speaker 1: and you can also say, I know you're going to understand.
• 7:22
  Speaker 1: I'm sure have any of the three been married? Have
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: they been through this experience?
• 7:27
  Speaker 5: Yeah, one of them has. And I think, like what
• 7:30
  Speaker 5: adds a different dynamic to this is I'm the first
• 7:33
  Speaker 5: one that's ever not invited the whole group. Like we
• 7:35
  Speaker 5: very much are a group that just we just are like,
• 7:40
  Speaker 5: come one, come all. We all love to hang out together.
• 7:42
  Speaker 5: So I think that's like playing in my mind a
• 7:44
  Speaker 5: little bit. I'm like I have to be the first
• 7:45
  Speaker 5: one that's like creating some sort of smaller group, which
• 7:51
  Speaker 5: which kind of sucks. But yeah, I just have never
• 7:53
  Speaker 5: really heard I like, I love your advice, but I'd
• 7:55
  Speaker 5: never really heard of somebody like telling someone they're not
• 7:57
  Speaker 5: invited to a party before they.
• 7:59
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know, but but I think it's
• 8:02
  Speaker 1: a nice thing to do, considering that that everything you
• 8:04
  Speaker 1: keep saying just reinforces the fact that I think you
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: should do it, Like if they've all been included in everything,
• 8:09
  Speaker 1: like I think you should double down and like.
• 8:11
  Speaker 4: Listen, your friendship is very meaningful to me.
• 8:13
  Speaker 1: I don't want you to take this as a sign
• 8:15
  Speaker 1: that it's not, Like I still want the twenty of
• 8:17
  Speaker 1: us to do things in groups and all of those
• 8:19
  Speaker 1: you know what in your own words obviously, but I
• 8:22
  Speaker 1: don't want you to take not being invited to my
• 8:24
  Speaker 1: wedding as a personal affront. Like I actually try to
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: figure out every way I could do this, and it's
• 8:30
  Speaker 1: just not possible for me to go over the amount
• 8:32
  Speaker 1: of people that I have right now, you know, and
• 8:35
  Speaker 1: lay it out for them. But I think it will
• 8:36
  Speaker 1: be appreciated more so than them finding out, because then
• 8:40
  Speaker 1: there's awkwardness and there's tension, So like, just get rid
• 8:43
  Speaker 1: of the tension before there is any.
• 8:45
  Speaker 3: Yeah, And I love the idea of sending them something,
• 8:47
  Speaker 3: whether it's like a little box of chocolates or some flowers,
• 8:50
  Speaker 3: and then really really hit like the nail on the
• 8:52
  Speaker 3: head of like I had. There are a hundred people,
• 8:55
  Speaker 3: my husband has a big family, et cetera, et cetera.
• 8:57
  Speaker 3: Like blame it on the venue. Having that cap I
• 9:00
  Speaker 3: think is helpful too. That way, it's not just like, oh, well,
• 9:03
  Speaker 3: you know, we wanted to have a small way. You know,
• 9:04
  Speaker 3: it's like, really, there's a strict number.
• 9:06
  Speaker 5: I like it. I mean, I yeah, I had a
• 9:08
  Speaker 5: feeling I should address it. So it kind of answers
• 9:11
  Speaker 5: my Yeah, of course, that's why I came here, I guess.
• 9:14
  Speaker 5: But yeah, something felt wrong about.
• 9:16
  Speaker 2: Just not saying anything.
• 9:17
  Speaker 5: It just like happened, especially because we are so active
• 9:21
  Speaker 5: in different group chats.
• 9:22
  Speaker 4: I think it's just like the.
• 9:24
  Speaker 5: Day and age now everything is online and indifferent. Everyone's
• 9:27
  Speaker 5: sharing everything twenty four to seven.
• 9:29
  Speaker 3: So you might also think about the girls that are invited,
• 9:34
  Speaker 3: maybe just having a separate group chat, being like, hey,
• 9:37
  Speaker 3: not everyone from our big group is invited, but I
• 9:39
  Speaker 3: wanted to have a separate chat here since it's a
• 9:41
  Speaker 3: destination wedding and making plans. Yeah, and just kind of
• 9:44
  Speaker 3: letting them know not everybody from the group is getting
• 9:46
  Speaker 3: a save the date, but you guys will get your
• 9:48
  Speaker 3: soon and I'm so excited to have you, et cetera.
• 9:51
  Speaker 4: I love it. Well, thank you. Yeah, okay, the.
• 9:53
  Speaker 5: Numbers small, so it's weird. I hate that the numbers three.
• 9:56
  Speaker 4: I don't like that either, So that's what's bumping me.
• 10:00
  Speaker 5: I know, I know, I know, I don't. Yeah, I
• 10:02
  Speaker 5: would like to expand it, but I can't. There's groups
• 10:05
  Speaker 5: that live together. There's like a whole dynamic that I
• 10:08
  Speaker 5: just yeah, I'm trying to navigate. So I'm thankful though
• 10:11
  Speaker 5: that I have such a great group of friends.
• 10:13
  Speaker 1: So yeah, and make sure you put that at the
• 10:15
  Speaker 1: end of the letter, just say I'm really grateful.
• 10:16
  Speaker 4: You know.
• 10:17
  Speaker 1: This is just one of the things that I'm not
• 10:19
  Speaker 1: able to negotiate or mess with right now. So I mean,
• 10:23
  Speaker 1: I hope to make it up to you in the
• 10:24
  Speaker 1: future in some way.
• 10:26
  Speaker 5: Unless people say no, then they can be on the
• 10:28
  Speaker 5: second tier. But that feels.
• 10:29
  Speaker 2: Worse, right yeah right, yeah, yeah, I don't like this.
• 10:35
  Speaker 4: Well, you're getting married. Try and focus on the positive.
• 10:37
  Speaker 2: I gues, true, very true.
• 10:39
  Speaker 4: Yeah, all right, you know, okay, thanks for calling so
• 10:43
  Speaker 4: much fun.
• 10:43
  Speaker 2: Bye bye bye. All right, Well that's our minisode for today, Chelsea.
• 10:48
  Speaker 4: Okay, I love it. Wonderful, wonderful.
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: Okay, guys, the High and Mighty Tour is about to begin.
• 10:53
  Speaker 1: I'm in DC February thirteenth. February fourteenth Atlantic City which
• 10:57
  Speaker 1: I just added. Fifteenth is Norfolk, Virginia. February nineteenth Madison, Wisconsin.
• 11:02
  Speaker 1: February twentieth is Milwaukee, Wisconsin. February twenty first Detroit, Michigan.
• 11:07
  Speaker 1: February twenty second, Rama, Ontario. That's Canada for those of
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: you who don't speak Canadia. March thirteenth, Cleveland, Ohio. March
• 11:16
  Speaker 1: fourteenth Columbus, Ohio. March fifteenth, Cincinnati, Ohio. And then March
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: twentieth is Denver, Colorado. March twenty seventh, Portland, Maine. March
• 11:26
  Speaker 1: twenty eighth, Providence, Rhode Island. March twenty ninth, Springfield, Massachusetts.
• 11:31
  Speaker 1: April tenth is Chicago. I'll be at the Chicago Theater
• 11:35
  Speaker 1: in April eleventh. Indianapolis, Indiana. April twelfth Louisville, Kentucky. April
• 11:41
  Speaker 1: sixteenth is Albuquerque, New Mexico. April seventeenth is Mesa, Arizona.
• 11:46
  Speaker 1: April twenty third is Kansas City, Missouri. April twenty fourth
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: is Saint Louis, Missouri. April twenty fifth is Minneapolis, Minnesota.
• 11:54
  Speaker 1: April thirtieth Nashville, Tennessee. May first is Charlotte, North Carolina.
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: May second is Durham, North Carolina. May sixth I'm doing
• 12:02
  Speaker 1: Netflix as a joke festival. I will be in Los Angeles.
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: That is a new announcement. And May fifteenth Saratoga, California.
• 12:11
  Speaker 1: May sixteenth Monterey, California. May seventeenth Modesto, California.
• 12:15
  Speaker 4: And then June fourth Portchester, New York.
• 12:18
  Speaker 1: June fifth is Boston, mass And June twelfth is Portland, Oregon.
• 12:23
  Speaker 1: And then Seattle is June thirteenth. So suck on that, everybody.
• 12:28
  Speaker 1: Go to Chelseahandler dot com for tickets.
• 12:31
  Speaker 3: If you want advice from Chelsea, write into Dear Chelsea
• 12:34
  Speaker 3: podcast at gmail dot com.
• 12:36
  Speaker 2: Dear Chelsea is a production of iHeartMedia.
• 12:39
  Speaker 3: Follow Chelsea on all socials at Chelsea Handler, and find
• 12:42
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• 12:45
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• 12:50
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• 12:53
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