Latest / Beyond The Ceremony: Modern Celebrancy. Unfiltered. / Beyond The Ceremony Podcast Ep 5: What Is A Naming Celebrant?
Transcript
- Unknown Speaker 0:00 Hi. So welcome back to another episode of beyond the ceremony. And I am very excited because today I'm going to be joined by one of the graduates from the Academy of modern celebrancy. And this is really exciting because, of course, on the podcast, so far, we've had fellow mentors that have been on. We've had, you know, some other people in the wedding industry, but Jess is actually our first ever graduate. So I would like to welcome you right now to the podcast. Jess, the celebrant. Hello, hi. How are you doing you okay? I'm very good. Thank you. Yeah, good, good. So, Jess, just give us a little introduction to you. So tell us a little bit about you and whereabouts you are based that kind of thing. Tell us a little bit about you as a celebrant. So I'm based in Lancashire. Now, I'm originally from Cheshire, but I cover the whole of the North West. I do weddings, naming days and vowel renewals, and I've been doing celibacy for about two and a half years now. So fantastic. And how are you finding it? Obviously, you know, November 22 is when you graduated. So how's things going? You're kind of just about to enter your what's that going to be? Like, your second, third year? Kind of, yeah. Well, yeah, I guess I've graduated November, so sort of the start of 23 I would say, is like the start of my career. So just over two years. Yeah? So I'm really, really, well, like, surprisingly well. Unknown Speaker 1:23 So I've also been raising two small children. Unknown Speaker 1:28 Yeah, it's Unknown Speaker 1:30 everything that I expected to be. I'm more really. I love everything about it. So, very good, fantastic. So what is it that first attracted you to, you know, applying to be a celebrant. Like, what was it that made you think, yeah, that is for me, I'm gonna, you know, start my training and go for it. It was a bit of a weird one. First of all, I had, I was in the travel industry for years, and years, I had, like, a family travel business, and then Unknown Speaker 1:56 COVID happened. Yeah, obviously, same thing for a lot of people, Unknown Speaker 2:01 yeah. And at the same time, I found out I was expecting our first son, so it was kind of a time where I was thinking about the future and different careers. I'd always gone to weddings and seen registrars and thought, Oh, that would be a really nice job actually, sort of marrying people or doing that kind of thing. Unknown Speaker 2:22 But I didn't know about celebrants. I just happened to be watching an episode of the dog house. I think it was, it's one of my favorite program. And there was a celebrant on the program. Hang on, is this like a dog training program? It's like, the one they're in, it's in a dog shelter, and it's like, where different families go in and they get a dog. It's, it's by, it's like first dates for dogs, baby. I love this. Okay, so that is the program that inspired you to be a celebrant. Yes, because there's a celebrant on there, and she was talking about, and I remember googling that evening what a celebrant was, and obviously came across AMC, and that's how it all started. Oh my gosh, that is amazing. See, that's the thing. Exactly like you said, COVID did change things massively for a lot of people, but everyone's journey into becoming a celebrant is so different. And that's what I really, really love. And I think that's what's so great about this role. Everyone that you speak to has found out about it and come into it in a completely different way. So that is just amazing. Like you say you'd seen it on this TV show and thought, yeah, that's something for me. And not even a TV show about weddings, but about dogs instead. No, Unknown Speaker 3:31 no. Fantastic. So what would you say? You know, since you have, like, done your training, obviously, you trained with AMC, what have you kind of, you know, how's your life been since you trained, like, since you completed your training is, is celibacy your full time job? Or do you do this still alongside something else? Or, how does that work? It is full time. So I actually, we actually sold the travel business, Unknown Speaker 3:55 like I say, I am juggling it with being a mum as well, which is also full time. Yeah. So yeah, at the moment, in terms of when they are in childcare, it's kind of two full days a week, and then obviously the weekend, work evenings, speaking to new couples, that kind of thing. But I see it as my long term full time job, so Unknown Speaker 4:19 I'm taking on as much as I want to at the moment to kind of juggle that. But I think as the children get older and they're at school full time and that kind of thing, hopefully it will become more and more of my life. So I think that's the good thing about celebrancy, that you can carry on doing it into old age. Hopefully, yeah, absolutely. I think that's exactly like you said. You kind of take on as much or as little as you want to. So I'm very similar to you two young boys. I mean, one of mine's three, and the other one's just turned two, and it's like, actually, they are so young and so dependent, obviously, because they're still so tiny, they are still babies, so they are a full time job in themselves. Unknown Speaker 5:00 Like you say, I maybe don't take on as many weddings at the moment as I will once they're, you know, at school and a bit more independent, that kind of thing. So I think that is absolutely like you said. It's good that you can do it flexibly and, you know, say yes to as many or as little ceremonies as you like, yeah, that's it. And like, kind of juggling that with my husband's work, where he doesn't work weekends. It's quite nice that then I have some time at the weekend to go and do it, you know, do something that I want to do. Because although it is a job, as you all know, Laura, it's actually really, really enjoyable. It's nice to get dressed up and go to a wedding at the weekend. Yeah, I was absolutely talking to someone about this at the weekend. I was like, Look, yes, it's my job. And, you know, the days in the week where I'm script writing, or I'm doing site visits or, you know, I'm I'm filling out paperwork, those kind of things. Yes, it feels like a job. But when it gets to the weekend and you get to get dressed up, do your hair, do your makeup, like get ready, which doesn't happen very often as a mum to young little ones, that actually it is really nice as well. It's kind of gives you that fulfilling side too, doesn't it, which is lovely, yeah, yeah, definitely. I guess as well, what we're going to focus on today, we've we've done an episode on what is a wedding celebrant. We've spoken about what is a funeral celebrant. So what we're actually going to focus on today is what is a naming celebrant. So people who are listening, who are, you know, just thinking about the idea of becoming a celebrant. They may have seen celebrants at funerals. They may have seen wedding celebrants, but I think naming celebrants are maybe not as well known, and people maybe haven't experienced naming ceremonies as much as they have weddings. So talk to me a little bit about that side of things. What made you want to qualify as a naming celebrant? I think from a personal point of view, having been to quite a number of christenings in the past, and also sort of having my own children, and knowing that that wouldn't be a route that I would want to go down, I really like the idea that you can have a day to celebrate a new baby or a new person in your family, or whoever it might be, and not have to have that religious element now, which I think more and more people probably are looking at as an option. Really, I'd had a few friends that had naming days for their children that I'd been to that were really nice, so I just wanted to have it as something that I could offer as well. They're just really enjoyable, lovely day. So absolutely, and I think exactly like you said, for weddings, for example, if you're not religious, you still have the option of a civil ceremony, which is, you know, the legal side of it, with the registrar. And then you have, obviously the best option, but you know, then you have the celebrant wedding too, the personal. But actually, for you know, children, if you are looking at it in that sense, obviously we know naming ceremonies can be for a wide range of ages, which we will cover very soon. But when you're looking at, you know, a new baby, it's kind of like a christening or nothing. And it's like, actually, that needs to change. There needs to be that option for people who aren't religious. And that's where naming ceremonies are rising in popularity all the time, as people are discovering that actually naming ceremonies are a thing. I remember when I was doing my training, and I did, you know, a naming ceremony for my nephew, and this was in, I think it was 2018 Unknown Speaker 8:14 and my sister was like, oh, but are people going to be like, what is it? It's a Christian, but non religious. I'm like, No more. People need to do it. So I think it's about that education as well. Isn't it about people realizing that they actually have got a choice if they're not a religious family, but they still want to do a celebration for their you know, their new baby or their new child? Yeah, it's really nice. I think really like a christening is to kind of welcome a child into the church, whereas a naming Day is all about celebrating that child and their place in the family and sort of officially welcoming them. So I think it's just a really nice concert, absolutely, and I think exactly like you touched on there, it's welcoming them into the family, and it's celebrating them as a person, rather than them belonging to that religious community. Actually, it's it's focusing on them and actually them as a person, and talk to me about, obviously, the options we've discussed briefly on the fact that you might have a naming ceremony for a child, but what about other ages? What other kind of examples are there of naming ceremonies that people could have a celebration for? So if you've welcomed an older child into the family through adoption. I think it's a really lovely idea to kind of officially welcome them and really make them feel part of the family. Unknown Speaker 9:28 Obviously, with people changing identities, if you change whether that's you could have got divorced and just changed your name, or you could have Unknown Speaker 9:37 changed gender, or, you know, there's lots of options these days, of ways that people want to mark becoming a new person. So the possibilities are quite endless, absolutely. And I think as well, they don't have to be just one person, do they? I think naming ceremonies can be about a whole family, a lot a lot of people, you know, if they're starting a new blended family, maybe they've just got my. Unknown Speaker 10:00 Recently, and actually they want to celebrate all the children coming together and and I think that's the thing. There's a lot of flexibility, isn't there really, with naming ceremonies. And maybe that's where we need to keep educating our celebrants and telling people, actually, what are all the different opportunities, because it's still a relatively new thing. I know they've been around for quite a while, but the not everyone knows about them. They haven't really, they haven't crossed over yet to become mainstream, whereas I think weddings and funerals are already at that stage. So I think there's probably still a bit of educating to be done from us as celebrants, really. Yeah, definitely. I think, like in terms of the percentage of bookings that I get naming ceremonies, definitely need to sort of speed up a bit, I get sort of a steady flow of them. But like you say, I don't think there's enough out there for people to see it as like an immediate option if they're thinking of marking a new baby or somebody in their family. So yeah, it's something that people need to know more about. Yeah, absolutely. And what are the kind of things about the role that you really love? So what are the things about a naming ceremony that you think these are fantastic. More people need to know about this. The thing that I've got from probably every naming ceremony that I've done, and weirdly, all the naming ceremonies that I've done so far have either been on a baby's first birthday or in the same week as the first birthday, I really think kind of Yeah, and then it's always kind of been not just sort of welcoming them, but also celebrating the fact that the parents have survived. That is a Unknown Speaker 11:31 great celebration, definitely, and one Unknown Speaker 11:35 they need, yeah, and just, they're really nice opportunities to thank all the people that have helped them get to that point as well. So I've had some really nice kind of readings that have incorporated special friends or families or neighbors that have been a big part in their child's life. And it's just really nice that you get that kind of community feeling at naming days. I think, yeah, absolutely. And I guess everyone talks about that, you know, it takes a village. And I think it's, it's kind of about acknowledging that village as well, isn't it, as well as the, you know, the child or the person themselves. It's actually about that community and and who they kind of belong to. So what are some of the other ways that people can involve those special people then as well as you've, you've touched on, you know, a reading. Are there any other ways that people can kind of get family members, friends, community involved, yeah. So most families that I've worked with so far have chosen mentors or guide parents for the children, so they're kind of the alternative godparent, I guess people that they want to be there to guide their child through their life and be an influence on them. So it's really nice including people in that way. And they can either sort of write their own promises to the person, or parents can give me sort of the reasons why they have chosen these people. So that's always really nice. We've had things like fingerprint trees. I've had it a couple of times. Yeah, they're cute, aren't they, because you can keep them afterwards as well. So yeah, everybody at the naming day puts their fingerprint onto the tree as like a leaf on the branches, so that it shows that they're all there to support that person. Um, trying Unknown Speaker 13:21 to think now I now Unknown Speaker 13:23 I've done like candle ceremonies to blend together or show the the joining of families, or sand ceremonies. I've had a couple of naming days as well. Which same thing, sort of the blending of the grains of sand, to show that everyone's love and support has been poured into that person's life. So, yeah, there's lots of ways that you can include a wider group of people in the day, which is really nice, absolutely. And I think things like a first birthday celebration, yeah, you can have a party with a soft play and a cake, and it's lovely. But actually a naming day really talks about that child and how they have changed their parents life in that perhaps first year, first few years, you know, whenever it is that you decide to have the naming day, but it's talking about them individually, but also, as it says on the tin, it's talking about that name, because it's a massive decision for families when you're naming a child, and you know, it might be that you recognized relevant people within a middle name or even a first name, or that kind of thing, or their surnames. For example, it might be that the parents aren't married and don't share a surname. So what is the reasoning behind that surname that you've chosen for the child? Like all of these things actually are so relevant, and it's like really nice to have an occasion to be able to kind of mark all of that. Yeah, I absolutely love researching all the meaning of names. It's my favorite bit. Yes, I've had some really unusual baby names that have gone away and sort of found out what they mean. And they're always like, really lovely meanings, aren't they? Can you think of any examples off the top of your head? I'm putting you on the spot now, but is there any that you can kind of think of so the last one that I did actually last month, though. Unknown Speaker 15:00 A little baby called Keely, which is k, i, L, I, it was a little boy. It has like a an accent over the first eye. And it was actually from they were into, like Norse mythology, wow. But it was also a character in The Hobbit, oh, they were really Tolkien, so yeah, he was like a really mischievous little dwarf in The Hobbit. Unknown Speaker 15:24 And was he living up to his name? Has he been living up to Yeah, but Unknown Speaker 15:30 it did look quite cheeky. And then there was another family, actually, that had a really sort of heartwarming story where they'd actually lost their first baby was stillborn, and their daughter, Nova means shining star. And it was kind of to signify the light that she'd brought back into their family. Unknown Speaker 15:54 I know it was really cute that one. So, yeah, it can be really quite, you know, heartwarming, and after try not to cry, yeah, absolutely, there's a lot of meaning behind it. Isn't there? It's not just a pie, yeah, let's have a crystal that isn't religious. Actually, there's so much more to it than that. And I think that is something like we spoke about earlier. A religious celebration is about that, you know, welcoming them into the church community, rather than actually them, and specifically, you know, drilling down into the meanings behind it. And look at those examples you've given. I mean, they're absolutely beautiful. So it's so nice to have a special occasion to kind of, you know, be able to mark that. And what would you say for anyone listening who's thinking, Yeah, I would love to be able to create those ceremonies. What kind of you know Are you do you think the attributes that you need to be able to create a good naming ceremony, like, what is it that you you need to provide that family with? I think really sort of getting to know them and talking openly with the family, you know, whether that's meeting up face to face, or sending them questionnaires and having chats over zoom, I think getting the background story is as important as the actual meaning of the day, because they're the bits that really like help to make the day special. And you get relatives of the family or friends of the family coming up afterwards and saying, you know, how much they've enjoyed it and how personal it was. And so it's really sort of focusing on that aspect of things, getting to know them as a family, and what's really important to them. I think, yeah, absolutely, that personality. Do you think it's important that you've got children yourself to be a good naming celebrant? Or do you not think it's relevant? Don't think so. I mean, I think Unknown Speaker 17:40 kind of helps on the day, maybe with the logistics of things, because you understand, yeah, you understand, Unknown Speaker 17:46 yeah. They don't normally start on time if you're doing naming ceremony, because there's normally quite a few other kids there. So, but yeah, I don't think in terms of writing. I think perhaps the because I always get them to talk about sort of when the baby arrived, if it's a baby, and sometimes, like the birth stories and that kind of thing. I guess if you've gone through that yourself, you can empathize. But I think you can still write an amazing ceremony and deliver an amazing ceremony if you haven't had your own children, definitely, absolutely now, I think that's a fantastic point. And have you got, like, a standout naming ceremony that you've delivered? So is there something that you're like, oh, that will go down in history. I'll remember that one forever. I think maybe the one that I've already mentioned, though, is the family that had had the child that they've lost before, because there was just a sense, a real sense, of, Unknown Speaker 18:38 like, joy and celebration, and that was on their daughter's first birthday as well. So I think getting through that first year of parenthood, and the dad of that family had a daughter from a previous relationship who was a little bit older, I think she was maybe 1213, and she'd written the poem for her baby sister, Unknown Speaker 18:59 which was really, really gorgeous. And just seeing how close the family were after everything that they've been through, I think it sort of sticks with me that one a little bit so absolutely I can imagine. And what would you say are your absolute favorite things about being a naming celebrant? Like, what are the best bits of the job for you getting to meet cute babies. It's always quite nice, Unknown Speaker 19:25 um, Unknown Speaker 19:26 just getting to know lovely families and hearing people's stories. And I think you've got to be quite nosy to be a celebrity. Oh, yeah, Unknown Speaker 19:34 we're all nosy. We all love a chat. Yeah. So that that's it. That's always my favorite bit of any part of celebrancy, really just and being a part of that really special day, and getting feedback from people afterwards to say, sort of how special you've made it, and how it will be something that I'll remember. So that's lovely. Yeah, absolutely. And what about some of the more challenging parts of the role? Is there anything that really springs to mind that you think, yeah. Unknown Speaker 20:00 Do you know what that is? Something that I've had to learn to, you know, overcome as an obstacle, I think maybe, like I mentioned briefly, the logistics of naming days can be a little bit harder, because often they're not at, like a wedding venue type venue, or that they're not going to run to as tight as schedule. You're not working with other suppliers. That is just you. So you might be in like a church hall on one occasion, and then you're in like a bar another time, or someone's house, or you don't really know what you're going to turn up and find on the day, quite a few, you know, quite a lot of the time with the naming day. So that can be a little bit of a challenge. Yeah, yeah, it's good. If you're good at multitasking or organizing events. Maybe that's probably a Yeah, yeah. And what would you say? Then your one piece of advice is for anyone that's listening right now and they're thinking, yeah, do you think, you know what? I think I want to become a celebrant? What would your one piece of advice be? Speak to as many people as you can, whether that is other celebrants or suppliers, you know, in the wedding industry, or whatever industry you want to go into. But also, don't pay too much attention to what everyone else is doing, because we're all different, and it's really hard, especially with Instagram. And you see, oh yeah, Unknown Speaker 21:17 really well. And you think, oh gosh, they've absolutely nailed it. I think we're all doing the same thing, really, and we all look at other people and think that they're doing great, but you should just focus on what you're doing and and believe in yourself is like a massive thing that I've learned, I think, over the last 12 months. So absolutely. And I think Instagram is so easy, like everyone always says it, but we don't actually remember it, that it's your highlights real, rather than, you know, the full edit. And it's like, actually, yeah, but when you go on Instagram, you forget that, and you just think, oh my gosh, everyone's out there absolutely smashing it and and I think, like you say, It's about remembering that you're doing a great job, but also having those real, honest conversations with us, other celebrants is so important. Like you and I, we've connected on Instagram. We've never met in person, and we're still not we're still talking through a screen today. But you know, I mean, like you build up those relationships with your community, and I think that is so important. I think that's a great piece of advice, because actually talking to other people, that's where you make those real connections, and you get those real honest conversations. So I think definitely that is such an important thing to say. Yeah, it's quite an unusual industry to be in, really, because we're not in competition with each other. We are all different. And it's one of the few jobs I think, that you can just speak to people and get advice and not feel like they're going to be thinking, Oh, well, you know, I don't want to help them. Yeah, yeah, absolutely, yeah. It's really nice in that way. Fantastic. Well, thank you so much for joining me. Jess and when's your next naming ceremony? Have you got one coming up very soon? I I have actually, yeah, I've got one next month, but it's actually another wedding supplier. The last this one I've got coming up on the last one are both wedding florists that have had naming day. How lovely. I think that's the other thing as well. Like your own network is the best place to start with your marketing, whether you're offering funerals, whether you're offering weddings, whether you're offering naming ceremonies. I actually think if you start telling everyone within your own network, that's the best place to start. And I always advise my students that when I'm mentoring them, I'm always like, yes, you might not be walking straight into a wedding venue or a funeral directors right now, but start telling your next door neighbors, start telling your friends from work, start telling your family like the word spreads and actually exactly like you just said, your last one and your next one, both naming ceremonies are for suppliers that you've met through the wedding industry. So how fantastic. Oh, good for you. Well done. Jess, we'll keep smashing it smashing celebrant live and smashing. Mum, life. Well done. You Unknown Speaker 23:45 all right, lovely. Cheers. See you later. Thank you, bye, bye. Transcribed by https://otter.ai