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Why You Sabotage Money When Things Start Going Well?- Money Manifestation Chapter 10 · Rock My Finances

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  Speaker 2: Before you make.
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  Speaker 1: a financial or tax professional to discuss your individual circumstances
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  Speaker 1: and objective.
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  Speaker 3: Welcome to the Rock My Finances Show on k FORHD
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  Speaker 3: Radio and Talk for TV, where we put the fund
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  Speaker 3: in finance joint powerhouse Jeffer josp CDFA CMC and Private
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  Speaker 3: Wealth Advisor as she collaborates with you to create clarity,
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  Speaker 3: control and confidence with your money, your way. It's not
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  Speaker 3: about the zeros, So what is it all about? Let's
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  Speaker 3: find out now. Here's your host and weekly friend, Jennifer Jose.
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  Speaker 4: Welcome back to Rock My Finances. I'm so glad you're here.
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  Speaker 4: This is so fun. We're doing the Money Manifestation series.
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  Speaker 4: This is chapter eleven, the five money Decisions Smart Women Regret.
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  Speaker 2: Are you ready for that? Oh? This is going to
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  Speaker 2: be so good?
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  Speaker 4: So do you consider yourself a smart woman? Have you
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  Speaker 4: always done things really well around your money?
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  Speaker 2: Right? I mean a lot of us?
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  Speaker 4: Do?
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  Speaker 2: I love that? So you're smart? You figured out a
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  Speaker 2: lot in life. You might have a great career.
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  Speaker 4: You might have jumped up a million times in your corporation,
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  Speaker 4: or every time you've gotten a new career, you've stepped up.
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  Speaker 4: Your business has always increased, You've always increased your income
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  Speaker 4: or your clientele. Like, it feels pretty good, right. You've
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  Speaker 4: probably had a lot of moments where you thought I
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  Speaker 4: knew better? So why did I do that? That decision
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  Speaker 4: didn't feel right, didn't make sense, and it might have
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  Speaker 4: cost you money. I just did this like a couple
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  Speaker 4: times now. I bought new health insurance and I sent
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  Speaker 4: the email to the old health insurance to cancel it.
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  Speaker 4: It never canceled and I missed it, so I paid
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  Speaker 4: an extra month that I needed to pay.
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  Speaker 2: Like, what is that?
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  Speaker 1: Right?
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  Speaker 3: Oh?
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  Speaker 4: Drives me crazy when I do that? This is not
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  Speaker 4: about intelligence. It's about how you make decisions in the moment.
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  Speaker 4: And I know that I'm just way too busy and
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  Speaker 4: I did not follow up, follow up, follow up, follow up. Right,
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  Speaker 4: So this looks like saying yes to something that you
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  Speaker 4: can't afford. Maybe, or letting someone influence your decision. Ooh,
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  Speaker 4: that's a good one. You talk to your friends and
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  Speaker 4: neighbors about your finances or relationships or anything. I do
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  Speaker 4: a lot, maybe not asking questions, not asking enough questions,
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  Speaker 4: not asking yourself the questions as well. Right, It's so
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  Speaker 4: it's so easy to point fingers at someone else before
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  Speaker 4: or we look.
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  Speaker 2: At what we did wrong.
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  Speaker 4: We really need to take a look at what our
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  Speaker 4: part is in it, taking responsibility for our own actions,
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  Speaker 4: our own words, before we start blaming someone else. Maybe
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  Speaker 4: we could be waiting too long to make a decision
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  Speaker 4: or to actually do something, or maybe we're just jumping
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  Speaker 4: into it way too fast. So smart women don't lack knowledge,
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  Speaker 4: they lack decision making process. So we're going to change
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  Speaker 4: all that today. So you don't need more information necessarily,
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  Speaker 4: but you need a better way to make the decisions.
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  Speaker 4: Sometimes we get an information overload, and especially when it
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  Speaker 4: comes to your finances and money. My goodness, there's so
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  Speaker 4: many things you can read and listen to and hear
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  Speaker 4: from and talk you know. I mean, you could have
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  Speaker 4: two or three financial advisors. They're all going to give
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  Speaker 4: you a different opinion. So I know it can get
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  Speaker 4: really crazy, all right. So here's the five money decisions
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  Speaker 4: the smart women regret with the answers, of course, So
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  Speaker 4: number one saying yes too fast?
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  Speaker 2: Have you ever done that? It happened?
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  Speaker 4: Right? You want to be easy. Somebody might put you
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  Speaker 4: on the spot. You don't want to have to be
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  Speaker 4: the no person, so you just want to say yes
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  Speaker 4: too quick. You don't want to create tension, and you
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  Speaker 4: don't want to feel like you're put on the spot. Right,
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  Speaker 4: So result, you say yes too quick and you regret it.
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  Speaker 4: How can we fix this next time? Say, let me
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  Speaker 4: think about it and I'll get back to you.
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  Speaker 2: As simple as that.
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  Speaker 4: Right, This alone can change your financial life. Mine is
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  Speaker 4: I think about it overnight and I'll let you know tomorrow.
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  Speaker 4: I always give a date, give myself a date, me
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  Speaker 4: a date, them a date, so everybody knows I don't
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  Speaker 4: make big decisions until the next day. Is anything can change, right,
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  Speaker 4: Number two, not asking enough questions. This is a good one,
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  Speaker 4: So why does this happen? You don't want to seem difficult.
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  Speaker 4: Maybe maybe they're not answering your questions well enough, so
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  Speaker 4: you're under you're not understanding them, so you don't want
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  Speaker 4: to ask even any more because you don't think you're going.
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  Speaker 2: To understand them.
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  Speaker 4: When actuality, if you ask a deeper question, you might
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  Speaker 4: a different answer, so you assume they know more than
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  Speaker 4: you do. Could be another reason why you don't ask
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  Speaker 4: enough questions. And it's embarrassing like you're asking questions that
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  Speaker 4: you don't know the answers to, so you're kind of
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  Speaker 4: admitting that you don't know, right. So it's kind of like, Hi,
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  Speaker 4: I don't know about this, so can I ask questions?
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  Speaker 4: Can I ask a question? It's kind of hard to
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  Speaker 4: ask questions in a lot of different settings right now.
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  Speaker 4: When I have people come to me and they're looking
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  Speaker 4: for a financial advisor, I always have to meet three
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  Speaker 4: financial advisors, and this is like my criteria for picking
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  Speaker 4: a financial advisor. Ask questions, and if you do not
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  Speaker 4: understand the answer, that's not your person. You have to
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  Speaker 4: understand the answer from your financial advisor or doesn't make
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  Speaker 4: any sense to have them work with you.
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  Speaker 2: Now.
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  Speaker 4: I have to say, I've had some women in their
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  Speaker 4: seventies and they're used to men being the know it
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  Speaker 4: all right, Like I was just talking to somebody else
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  Speaker 4: about this. Men walk in the door with credibility. And
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  Speaker 4: this is JJ's words, Jennifer's words, this is my thoughts, right,
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  Speaker 4: this is what I've experienced. They already have credibility walking
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  Speaker 4: in the door. You just think they know just because
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  Speaker 4: of the way we've grown up. So they women usually
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  Speaker 4: at that age want if a male financial advisor, because
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  Speaker 4: they want a male doctor, they a male dentist, they
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  Speaker 4: want they just feel more comfortable with that type of authority.
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  Speaker 4: And they just being a man, they walk in with
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  Speaker 4: that type of authority. So we might not want to
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  Speaker 4: ask them or question them. It might feel like interrogation
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  Speaker 4: to them, or we might think it might feel like interrodiation,
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  Speaker 4: so we don't ask enough questions, and then we automatically
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  Speaker 4: give them trust just because you might ask one question,
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  Speaker 4: maybe two questions, and then we think that we trust
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  Speaker 4: them when we did not ask enough questions, so we
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  Speaker 4: become confused and then we make bad decisions. So how
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  Speaker 4: can we fix this. Well, let's ask more questions.
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  Speaker 2: Right.
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  Speaker 4: Confidence comes from understanding, not just guessing. So we want
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  Speaker 4: to ask. Maybe if you ask one question, take that
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  Speaker 4: one question and go deeper on that one subject. So
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  Speaker 4: you can go deeper and deeper and deeper, like question
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  Speaker 4: three or four times down on that same exact subject,
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  Speaker 4: and don't just bounce all around. So ask them another
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  Speaker 4: question about that, another question about that. Sometimes you'll get
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  Speaker 4: different answers depending on your questions, right, So your confidence
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  Speaker 4: will come out of asking more questions and understanding it more.
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  Speaker 4: And most of the time, if we do that, we
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  Speaker 4: start to feel comfortable with that, and then it becomes
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  Speaker 4: a great dialogue. Number three. Making decisions based on other
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  Speaker 4: people bomp bomb bah, Oh my gosh, I get this
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  Speaker 4: all the time. I get this all the time. Well,
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  Speaker 4: my neighbor's portfolio does this, or my dad taught me
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  Speaker 4: how to do this, or my mom said to do this,
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  Speaker 4: not you know, my friends doing this, or my first
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  Speaker 4: husband and I did this. Like, Okay, that's other people's decisions.
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  Speaker 4: Friends are doing it. Social media says you should do it.
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  Speaker 4: Someone else sounds really convincing. Okay, the result is misalignment.
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  Speaker 4: It's not aligned with who you are and your decision
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  Speaker 4: making process and how you feel about things right this minute.
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  Speaker 4: So how does it fit in your actual life? Well,
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  Speaker 4: we want to say if I do this, what does
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  Speaker 4: it look like in my life?
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  Speaker 2: So they, you know, okay, friends are doing it. Okay,
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  Speaker 2: so they're doing that. Does that feel good for me? Bitcoin?
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  Speaker 4: That's a great one, or you know that currency? Do
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  Speaker 4: you want that my friends are doing it? I was
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  Speaker 4: in San Diego. I was living in San Diego at
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  Speaker 4: the time, and it was right after the pandemic, and
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  Speaker 4: I went to this restaurant really really can't remember the
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  Speaker 4: name of it, but it was awesome rooftop bar. All
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  Speaker 4: that this guy had just like I want to say,
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  Speaker 4: three million dollars in bitcoin. He was so over the moon,
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  Speaker 4: bought everybody around your drinks like he was just doing amazing.
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  Speaker 2: So what does that tell me? Do I need to
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  Speaker 2: be investing in that? Do I need to do that?
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  Speaker 4: As a financial advisor at the time, I couldn't really
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  Speaker 4: do much of that cryptocurrency. I needed to learn more
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  Speaker 4: about it, right, So just because friends are doing it,
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  Speaker 4: does that work for you?
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  Speaker 2: Would that stress me out watching that go up and down?
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  Speaker 4: Because I know there's bull markets and there's bear markets,
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  Speaker 4: but the bar last four years. You know all this,
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  Speaker 4: there's a lot to learn around it. So how does
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  Speaker 4: that work for me and my life? So everything that
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  Speaker 4: you hear friends and people are doing, how does that
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  Speaker 4: look in my life? Okay, because everybody's different, and it's
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  Speaker 4: okay for you to be completely different. It is absolutely
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  Speaker 4: okay for you to be completely different. Okay, next question,
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  Speaker 4: I mean next four number four. Avoiding decisions completely. Oh,
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  Speaker 4: that's a good one. Why does this happen? Well, there's
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  Speaker 4: a lot of reasons why it happens. We can just
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  Speaker 4: get overwhelmed with our schedule. We can be just so
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  Speaker 4: in fear about making the wrong decision right, so we
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  Speaker 4: don't make any decisions at all. We're not feeling very
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  Speaker 4: free or ready to react right now, and we're missing opportunities.
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  Speaker 4: When we just avoid all the decisions completely, we're missing
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  Speaker 4: a lot. If we're not looking back at our statements,
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  Speaker 4: our credit card statements, all of these automatic withdrawals, all
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  Speaker 4: these automatic payments that are being paid. There's always a mistake.
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  Speaker 4: There's always a mistake somewhere somewhere. I always find it.
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  Speaker 4: So we have to look at things we cannot just
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  Speaker 4: avoid decisions completely. How do we fix this? There's no
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  Speaker 4: perfect decision, there's only informed decisions.
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  Speaker 2: And my favorite f word, what feels good at the time.
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  Speaker 2: You are who you are right now.
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  Speaker 4: It is a combination of your experiences, everything that you've
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  Speaker 4: lived through, your thoughts, your beliefs, and who you are
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  Speaker 4: right now. Who are you going to be tomorrow is
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  Speaker 4: going to be a different person. So you're making the
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  Speaker 4: best decision you can make at this moment. If we
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  Speaker 4: all could have done better, of course, that's okay.
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  Speaker 2: That is life.
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  Speaker 4: That's what life's all about, is living life. So there's
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  Speaker 4: no perfect decision. There's only informed decisions for that moment. Okay,
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  Speaker 4: So then we're going to choose and we can adjust
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  Speaker 4: and change that later. So how does it fit in
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  Speaker 4: my life today? When we're overwhelmed and we're avoiding that decision,
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  Speaker 4: we want to sit down, have some space to have
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  Speaker 4: our money date. Right, we're not feeling ready. It's okay
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  Speaker 4: to pause for a moment. You can pause. You just
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  Speaker 4: can't avoid it completely forever. So then what does that
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  Speaker 4: look like? If I'm overwhelmed, I need to schedule some
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  Speaker 4: time in my calendar to have my money date so
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  Speaker 4: that I just don't over avoid it forever. So if
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  Speaker 4: I'm in really big fear of making the wrong decision,
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  Speaker 4: I need to go back to step number two and
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  Speaker 4: ask more questions. So step number one was saying yes
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  Speaker 4: too Fastnumber two is not asking enough questions, number three
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  Speaker 4: is making decisions based on what other people are doing,
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  Speaker 4: and number four just avoiding decisions altogether. So we need
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  Speaker 4: to ask more questions so that we can get more
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  Speaker 4: clarity and feel more comfortable by making the decisions our
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  Speaker 4: last one. Number five deciding in an emotional state. Oh,
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  Speaker 4: my goodness, yes, yes, yes, Okay again we're going to
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  Speaker 4: go over them again. Five, I'm sorry. Five money decisions
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  Speaker 4: smart women. Regret number one staying yes too fast, number
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  Speaker 4: two not asking enough questions, number three making decisions based
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  Speaker 4: on what other people are doing, Number four avoiding decisions
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  Speaker 4: completely ostriche putting our head in the sand. And number
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  Speaker 4: five deciding in an emotional state. Oh this is a
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  Speaker 4: good one.
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  Speaker 2: Okay. Why it happens because we're stressed out?
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  Speaker 4: My goodness, we have so much on our plate, people places, things,
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  Speaker 4: We got so much on our plate. Oh yes, this
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  Speaker 4: it's going to bring in our emotions and money could
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  Speaker 4: just be an emotional topic for us all together.
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  Speaker 2: Excitement. We could be really excited about something. You've ever
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  Speaker 2: done that.
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  Speaker 4: Oh my gosh, I'm so guilty of that. I've done
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  Speaker 4: that so many times. I love this. It could be
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  Speaker 4: a dress, it feels so good. I've been wedding dress
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  Speaker 4: shopping with my daughter for a mother of the bride dress.
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  Speaker 4: We've been to a million places. It's been really really fun.
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  Speaker 4: And I'll put a dress on and feel really good
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  Speaker 4: on it. Okay, that's it. Then put another dress on, Okay,
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  Speaker 4: that's it, and it's like, okay, wait a minute, none
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  Speaker 4: of those are it. And I've done that like probably
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  Speaker 4: twenty times. So just being excited to find that one
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  Speaker 4: dress and be done and to feel really good in
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  Speaker 4: that dress.
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  Speaker 2: Pressure.
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  Speaker 4: It could be my daughter's done shopping, she's over this,
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  Speaker 4: she's like, just pick one already. It could be any
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  Speaker 4: pressure from anyone trying to make a decision, and that
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  Speaker 4: puts us into an emotional state, right, especially big purchases
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  Speaker 4: like cars, cars, houses. Definitely, it totally triggers our emotional state.
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  Speaker 4: I just bought a new car with it. That whole process,
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  Speaker 4: I do it like every ten years, and it literally
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  Speaker 4: puts me in an emotion because I love my cars.
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  Speaker 4: I've always loved my cars, and I'm a car person.
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  Speaker 4: I love cars, and so that does put me into
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  Speaker 4: an emotional state because I'm going to have a relationship
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  Speaker 4: with this car every day for a long time. I
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  Speaker 4: keep my cars forever. And so what is it going
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  Speaker 4: to feel like driving this car all the time? Am
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  Speaker 4: I going to be able to get it worked on?
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  Speaker 4: Is it going to feel good driving up in this car?
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  Speaker 4: I don't want it some beat up, old car, right,
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  Speaker 4: I want it to feel good driving up. You know,
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  Speaker 4: I always get a white car because I don't want
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  Speaker 4: it to look dirty all the time, and I have
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  Speaker 4: no time or inclination to be keeping it clean all
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  Speaker 4: the time, So I always buy a white car. But
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  Speaker 4: all of that goes to my emotional state of who
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  Speaker 4: am I in this car? When I'm driving this car,
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  Speaker 4: how do I feel? Do I feel safe? Do I
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  Speaker 4: feel secure? I need to be able to get in
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  Speaker 4: and out of danger quickly. All this is an emotional
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  Speaker 4: state when I'm going to buy a car. So yeah,
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  Speaker 4: there's pressure, you know, the salesperson's putting pressure on us.
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  Speaker 4: The finance person's putting pressure on us. We can feel
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  Speaker 4: a lot of pressure. So how do we fix this?
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  Speaker 4: How do we not feel in an emotional state? Okay,
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  Speaker 4: it's very simple. I feel emotional right now. I'm not
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  Speaker 4: going to make a decision. So now we need to
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  Speaker 4: figure out what is emotional. So get that wonderful chart.
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  Speaker 4: Check it out on the internet. Emotional state of being,
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  Speaker 4: all the emotions. We go up the chart, an emotional chart.
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  Speaker 4: We need to know how we feel now. We need
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  Speaker 4: to be very aware of how we feel now, and
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  Speaker 4: if it's coming from emotions good or bad, we need
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  Speaker 4: to be aware of that. And we don't want to
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  Speaker 4: make in an emotional state on really high peak excitement
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  Speaker 4: or really scared scarcity or negativity or pressure. We need
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  Speaker 4: to make sure that it's just a nice, calm, easy
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  Speaker 4: I call it in the flow decision. I love my
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  Speaker 4: in the flow's decision. They're so amazing if it's so easy.
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  Speaker 4: It's just in the flow and it's easy, and it
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  Speaker 4: feels good and it's right, and it's not taking too
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  Speaker 4: much emotional capacity, it's not taking too much energy not
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  Speaker 4: it's just clear, incisive, clear, easy destiny decisions. It just
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  Speaker 4: feels really really good. So you might want to give
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  Speaker 4: it a day, you might want to give it a night.
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  Speaker 4: You want to as peterle and my friend says, space
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  Speaker 4: between the rain drops. We want to find that space
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  Speaker 4: before we make that decision.
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  Speaker 2: So I did that.
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  Speaker 4: When I was buying my car, I heard all about
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  Speaker 4: it from one person, left, came back the next day,
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  Speaker 4: heard all about it from another person. Great, then talked
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  Speaker 4: to the finance person that day. Left, came, went and
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  Speaker 4: checked out my insurance, you know, things like that, how
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  Speaker 4: would I turn in my other car?
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  Speaker 2: Things like that. Then I went back. I think I did.
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  Speaker 4: I decide all within a week, but it took me
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  Speaker 4: probably maybe four five days to decide, and it just
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  Speaker 4: it was it, and it was I call it almost
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  Speaker 4: even a god thing. When I make an easy, peasy
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  Speaker 4: decision like that, it's a god thing. Like I literally
• 17:09
  Speaker 4: saw that car on Sunday and I drove it home
• 17:15
  Speaker 4: on I think Thursday or Friday. Like it was so
• 17:18
  Speaker 4: quick because it was just that's that's my car. I
• 17:21
  Speaker 4: knew that was my car. It was the only used
• 17:23
  Speaker 4: one because I bought I like used, and it was
• 17:26
  Speaker 4: the only used one in the area. And it was
• 17:27
  Speaker 4: white tan interior exactly what I wanted, big engine like
• 17:30
  Speaker 4: I wanted, sunroof like I wanted. It was just perfect
• 17:34
  Speaker 4: everything that I wanted. So when it feels good, do it.
• 17:39
  Speaker 4: You heard it here on Rock My Finances. When it
• 17:42
  Speaker 4: feels good, do it for sure. I love that, Okay.
• 17:45
  Speaker 4: So the quality of our financial life is directly tied
• 17:49
  Speaker 4: to the quality of our decisions.
• 17:52
  Speaker 2: Yes, ma'am.
• 17:53
  Speaker 4: The quality of our financial life is directly tied to
• 17:56
  Speaker 4: the quality of our decisions. So take your time, get
• 18:00
  Speaker 4: ask questions, second opinions. I am such a great financial
• 18:04
  Speaker 4: advisor a lot of times for people because I'm they're
• 18:07
  Speaker 4: bouncing their springboard. I'm just their sounding board, like they
• 18:10
  Speaker 4: just want to talk about things. They want to hear
• 18:13
  Speaker 4: somebody else's opinion or a different way to come about
• 18:17
  Speaker 4: figuring out how you're making the decision.
• 18:20
  Speaker 2: That's awesome.
• 18:21
  Speaker 4: So a client told me, Actually, one time I agreed
• 18:23
  Speaker 4: to something financially and I instantly knew it wasn't right.
• 18:26
  Speaker 4: So I asked her, well, what would have happened if
• 18:28
  Speaker 4: you waited twenty four hours? Everything would have changed, right,
• 18:32
  Speaker 4: I would have changed, I would have fel felt completely different.
• 18:36
  Speaker 4: So just ask yourself what happens. If you wait twenty
• 18:39
  Speaker 4: four hours, that's it. And before you make any decision,
• 18:43
  Speaker 4: ask yourself, do I feel calm? Do I feel pressured?
• 18:47
  Speaker 4: Do I fully understand what's happening? I do that all
• 18:51
  Speaker 4: the time with people and investing. If you don't fully
• 18:54
  Speaker 4: understand it, we're not making a decision until you completely
• 18:57
  Speaker 4: understand it. And I will talk every day for a
• 19:00
  Speaker 4: month until you completely understand it. Does this align with
• 19:04
  Speaker 4: who I am? We talk a lot about risk tolerance.
• 19:07
  Speaker 4: Does it align with your risk tolerance? Or am I
• 19:11
  Speaker 4: saying yes to avoid discomfort? That's a great one. Am
• 19:15
  Speaker 4: I saying yes to avoid discomfort? If it's not clear, pause,
• 19:20
  Speaker 4: wait twenty four hours, Calm down, relax. Smart women don't
• 19:24
  Speaker 4: need more advice. Sometimes they don't necessarily need more strategies.
• 19:30
  Speaker 4: What they really need is a better system to make decisions.
• 19:33
  Speaker 4: I hope that makes sense. So you're not bad with money.
• 19:37
  Speaker 4: You've just been making decisions too fast under pressure without
• 19:40
  Speaker 4: a process. So once you change that, you're going to
• 19:43
  Speaker 4: change that. You're going to find more clarity, confidence, and control.
• 19:46
  Speaker 4: That's going to be your diamond life. I want you
• 19:49
  Speaker 4: to be able to calm down, see where you're at
• 19:51
  Speaker 4: making these decisions and get a process for every decision.
• 19:55
  Speaker 4: How does it feel? Does it feel good in my body?
• 19:58
  Speaker 4: Then you can make that decision. I hope that helps
• 20:00
  Speaker 4: y' all. I want you all to be able to
• 20:02
  Speaker 4: listen to these episodes and be able to say, I
• 20:05
  Speaker 4: rock my finances.
• 20:08
  Speaker 3: We appreciate you joining us today, and don't forget to
• 20:11
  Speaker 3: subscribe to the rock my Finances YouTube channel for more
• 20:14
  Speaker 3: engagement and bonus content. Tell me what is your money story?
• 20:19
  Speaker 3: Let's find out with Jennifer right here on K FOURHD
• 20:22
  Speaker 3: Radio and Talk for TV. It's not about the zero,
• 20:26
  Speaker 3: It's about the F word. Feelings, feelings. Jennifer can't wait
• 20:30
  Speaker 3: to explore with you next week. Until then, let's all
• 20:33
  Speaker 3: say I rock my Finances.