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Tear Out the Tags (with Bee Evans) · The Daily Writer

• 0:07
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to the weekend edition of the Daily Writer.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_00: Each weekday, we bring you a short lesson that helps you live out the four practices of a great writer creativity, consistency, courage, and connection.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_00: Here on the weekend edition, we take a deeper dive into those topics through conversations with notable writers, as well as teaching that helps us apply what we're learning and also prepare for the week ahead.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_00: For more, you can visit us at dailywriterlife.com.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_00: You know, there are a lot of challenging aspects of being a writer.
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_00: There's a lot of potential roadblocks.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_00: There's figuring out our time management, sifting through creative ideas, staying inspired, figuring out our publishing channels, building an audience, and so on and so on.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_00: But in my experience, some of the biggest obstacles come from the inside.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_00: If we look at why we sometimes are not achieving the impact and success that we want, it's because we're probably paying attention to the false labels that other people have given us and that oftentimes we've given to ourselves.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_00: Well I'm thrilled today to have my guest, Bee Evans, who has created an initiative called Tear Out the Tags, which is all about removing the labels that are holding us back.
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_00: Now, I don't often do this kind of thing, but I want to read straight from the bio that Bee sent me, and I want to do this for a couple of reasons.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_00: Number one, it gives you a great taste of who she is, and number two, it's very, very well written.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_00: So I hope you pay attention to how Bee has framed what she does and who she is and how she helps people.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_00: And she did this in just three or four short paragraphs.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_00: So uh again, this is kind of on a double level.
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_00: I want to give you a taste of who she is because she's the guest on the this episode.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_00: But I also want you to see how she's written this bio because it's really great.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_00: So here we go.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_00: In one single day of work, Bee Evans has worn a hard hat, uh, a cheerleading costume, and high heels.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_00: Beginning with a career in oil and gas, Bee found early success as the co-owner of her company.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_00: As a former professional cheerleader for the Phoenix Suns, she'd leave the work boots behind and bring her playful, spirited side onto the court.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_00: No stranger to living in different worlds, Bee could seamlessly slide between the two, but she wasn't happy.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_00: A successful business is a check.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_00: A creative pursuit of dance is a check.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_00: Two amazing kids is a check.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_00: But there was something missing.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_00: She was living out the script that someone else had written for her.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_00: This disconnect began to nag at her.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_00: One day, as the tag on her blazer literally scratched at her neck, she realized that we all live with labels that are often uncomfortable and do not fit who we are or who we wish to be.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_00: So began her next chapter, the act of tearing out her own tags and coming to live in alignment with her passions and her work.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_00: As a professional speaker, coach, and thought leader, Bee helps people break out of the boxes they've been living in, tear out their own tags and create a vision for the life they want.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_00: Isn't that great?
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_00: I really, really love that bio.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_00: And the cool thing is it's not just a fantastic bio, but Bee also has a fantastic message.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm thrilled that she could join me here on this episode.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_00: I've gotten to know Bee over the last few months, and she's not only a genuine encourager, she also helps you see yourself in a brand new way.
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_00: And she truly has a gift, and I mean that sincerely.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_00: So I know that you're going to be blessed by her incredible wisdom in this conversation, which is all about tearing out the tags and removing the labels that hold us back.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_00: This is such an important conversation for writers, for creatives, for artists of any type.
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_00: So without further ado, here's my conversation with B.
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_00: Evans.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_00: Bee, welcome to the podcast.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_00: I'm so grateful to have you here.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_00: Thanks for making time to do this.
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_00: So I love the title of what you're doing.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_00: It's called Tear Out the Tags, which is really a great title because you know, as a writer, I am looking at titles all the time.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_00: And book titles are really important, but titles of companies, products, uh projects, initiatives, those are all really important.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_00: So congrats on creating a really awesome title for one thing.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_00: So that's cool.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_00: But also um the meaning behind tear out the tags is so important.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_00: And we've we've already been talking for like 15 minutes before I even hit record on this.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_00: And this whole idea of labels and tags, it just gets right to the heartbeat of so many people.
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm excited to have you as a guest today.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_01: I'm excited to be here.
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_00: So give us a rundown, if you would, of what is Tear Out the Tags and where did this idea come from?
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_01: So Tear Out the Tags is an example of the labels that we collect through our lives.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_01: And as we walk through and navigate through our lives, we run into people and circumstances and events and experiences.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_01: And as we live our lives, labels kind of attach themselves to us and they can come from other people and they can come from ourselves.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and they actually, I'm happy to share with you today all of the places that they come from, um, because there are six things that kind of um create these tags in our lives.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_02: That would be awesome.
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, create these tags.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_01: So um, you know, through my life, I always felt like I was the um quote, people pleaser.
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_01: And so I, you know, I would be in um an MBA cheerleader.
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_01: I would be in a certain brand, I'd have to show up in a certain way.
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_01: Or if I was working in my oil and gas job, then I had to show up in a in a totally different way.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_01: And I always felt like I had my feet in different areas of my life where I had to sort of be a chameleon in that world.
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_01: And what it left me with was showing up in my mid-30s, going, I have no idea who B really is.
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_01: And so tear out the tags really was um created to reveal for people that it isn't just limiting beliefs that are holding you back.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_01: It's these tags, right?
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_01: It's these labels that come through life, through living, through experience, um, and oftentimes through relationship.
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_01: And so my work is to reveal tags to people, help them decide if they love wearing a tag, if they hate wearing a tag, or oftentimes if there's a tag that needs to be redefined and reattached.
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and I'm happy to share.
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_01: I have a couple of those that I've had to work through and think, oh, I'm gonna tear this out.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_01: But in fact, it was a tag that I love wearing.
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_01: It just needed to be redefined in my terms.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_00: Let me come back to that in just a second because I'm really anxious to dig into that.
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_00: Just so uh that this is more, I guess, my question.
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_00: Um you know, many times I try to ask questions on behalf of listeners uh who are listening to the show.
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_00: But uh as you're talking, this question comes to mind.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_00: Do you think the the tags that we wear, these labels that we assign to ourselves, do those actually come from other people, or are those things where sometimes we think that other people have imposed those on us?
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_00: And it's just like a mental block that we have because we sometimes we can't move forward in life until we deal with those labels and those tags and we embrace kind of a new identity.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_00: Are those things that are within us and that we can deal with those ourselves, or are they things that are externally coming to us most of the time?
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so I think it's a combination of of all um all the things.
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, so that is such an excellent question, and it's a question we really skip over.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_01: But the truth is we are naturally wired from birth.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_01: And so um, in my world, I really find that um, and I'm gonna use tags so that you can kind of relate to uh what type of person we're talking about.
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_02: Perfect.
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_01: So um, overthinkers, people pleasers, perfectionists, empaths, feelers, impact people.
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so think of the person who goes with their heart over their head.
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_01: That's the person who will tend to, it's not that they have more tags, but they will feel their tags more, they'll show their tags more, they'll wear their tags more.
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_01: So these people are more likely to show up in the workplace and be more limited because, you know, they're aware of their stuff, they're aware of their tags.
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_01: And so it's not to say that highly competitive people don't have tags or um people who love to take charge don't have tags.
• 8:53
  SPEAKER_01: They also have tags.
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_01: They just may not be as in tune with how those tags affect them, and they may not let their tags affect them as much.
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_02: So I that's profound.
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_01: So, and it I really do feel like it's a um it really is a combination of some of our tags come directly from us.
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_01: Some of our tags are absolutely mean things or you know, critical things that have been said to us in our lives that we, you know, we just especially if it was a relational tag that was handed to us that was handed repeatedly, we oftentimes will just accept, okay, that must be how I am.
• 9:34
  SPEAKER_01: And so you'll wear it even if it doesn't feel good to you.
• 9:37
  SPEAKER_01: And then, you know, there's also the there there can be tags that come from our environment that are not directly placed on us.
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_01: They're like the um the influence tags.
• 9:49
  SPEAKER_01: So you can, you know, watch a TV show and you can get a tag from that, or you can go to the grocery store and hear two strangers talking and you can have a tag arrive from that.
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and so I think it's really interesting because um tags are really this like vast thing and they can be stacked.
• 10:08
  SPEAKER_01: So oftentimes I have people say, well, you know, my tag is I'm unworthy.
• 10:14
  SPEAKER_01: Well, many of us feel unworthy in a lot of different areas, but oftentimes underneath that tag that says I'm worthy will be 10 to 100 different tags that kind of all combine together.
• 10:28
  SPEAKER_01: If you think of like um, like how your computer boots up and all the information has to connect, right?
• 10:34
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 10:34
  SPEAKER_01: That's how our tags are.
• 10:35
  SPEAKER_01: And so because it's so complex and it's so big, we just say, oh, my tag is I'm unworthy.
• 10:42
  SPEAKER_01: And that's why many times we can't unblock ourselves because we're trying to unblock unworthy when really there's a number of things underneath that that need to be addressed.
• 10:54
  SPEAKER_00: Wow.
• 10:55
  SPEAKER_00: There is so much here to dig into.
• 10:57
  SPEAKER_00: I'm thinking of so many things uh in my own life and in the lives of people that I know.
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_00: Um one person that comes to mind, and then I want to come back in a second to a couple tags that you mentioned for yourself.
• 11:09
  SPEAKER_00: But I'm thinking of a student I have right now.
• 11:11
  SPEAKER_00: Uh for those who are listening who don't know, uh in my day job, I'm a college prof.
• 11:16
  SPEAKER_00: I've been doing that a long time.
• 11:17
  SPEAKER_00: And I have a student right now who I would describe as an overachiever.
• 11:20
  SPEAKER_00: In fact, I was talking to my wife about uh last night about this about how he he just over-prepares everything, you know.
• 11:27
  SPEAKER_00: If I if I sign two pages, he writes three.
• 11:30
  SPEAKER_00: Just over over prepares everything.
• 11:32
  SPEAKER_00: And and I was just like that as a kid as well.
• 11:35
  SPEAKER_00: And I was telling my wife that I I just wonder like, what is what is it about his family of origin or something in his life that he feels like he just has to work so hard to please people.
• 11:44
  SPEAKER_00: And but all but all of us have those things in life.
• 11:47
  SPEAKER_00: We we carry these labels around where we act in a certain way to try and hopefully get a certain response or or something like that.
• 11:53
  SPEAKER_00: So absolutely.
• 11:54
  SPEAKER_00: I think you know, this whole area is this is so important.
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_00: Like the work you're doing with this is really, really critical.
• 12:01
  SPEAKER_00: And it like immediately gets to the heart of so much of what we do as creative people and as writers.
• 12:06
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, no, I appreciate that.
• 12:07
  SPEAKER_01: You know, it's funny, I have a lot of people say, Oh, you teach about limiting beliefs, but it's in our world right now, we go from the mental health spectrum on one end to limiting beliefs on the other end.
• 12:19
  SPEAKER_01: And we're there's conversation, is nothing in between.
• 12:22
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and there's a lot in between those two things.
• 12:26
  SPEAKER_01: So um, you know, it's it's exciting.
• 12:28
  SPEAKER_01: And when you start to find your tags and you get to actually physically tear them out and rip them in half or write them out and redefine them, it is such a liberating and empowering process.
• 12:39
  SPEAKER_00: It's almost like you're walking around to people, you know, we're all in within our own prisons of our own.
• 12:45
  SPEAKER_00: We're we're all in prisons of our own making emotionally, probably a lot of times.
• 12:49
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 12:49
  SPEAKER_00: And it's almost like you're going around with your key and you're able to free those people from these emotional prisons that they have because of these tags and these labels.
• 12:57
  SPEAKER_00: And once they're free, it's like, oh wow, I can I'm actually not that person that maybe I thought I was.
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_00: That's just a label that I was wearing.
• 13:05
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 13:06
  SPEAKER_00: So this is really, really good stuff.
• 13:08
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you.
• 13:09
  SPEAKER_00: Now you mentioned a couple a few minutes ago, a couple of things kind of about your own journey.
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_00: I'd love to hear about those if you if you want to share about that.
• 13:17
  SPEAKER_00: I think that'll really help our listeners to to get more in touch with how does this practically work out in our own lives and in the real world.
• 13:25
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, definitely.
• 13:26
  SPEAKER_01: You know, it's funny.
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_01: You hear a lot of times people say, Oh, I, you know, I lost my voice, or oh, I I needed to find myself.
• 13:33
  SPEAKER_01: And, you know, many of us, it's it's once we've stepped through trauma.
• 13:37
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm no different.
• 13:38
  SPEAKER_01: I went through a divorce about six years ago.
• 13:40
  SPEAKER_01: And um, you know, I just remember feeling like a shell of a person.
• 13:44
  SPEAKER_01: I had no idea who I was.
• 13:46
  SPEAKER_01: My identity was so wrapped up in being a mother and a wife and a business owner and right, the the things we introduce ourselves as.
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_01: And there was nothing, there was no substance there to work with.
• 13:57
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and so, you know, when I developed this message and when we developed this mission to really help people remove the tags and tear out the tags, we um I think our minds as humans want to think, okay, I either am this or I am not this.
• 14:17
  SPEAKER_01: But what I'm here to tell you is a lot of the work that's done with tear out the tags is in the defining process.
• 14:23
  SPEAKER_01: And that's really, if you think about, you know, being defined as a child or being defined as a high school kid or being defined as a college student, being defined as a spouse.
• 14:33
  SPEAKER_01: You're a parent being defined as a parent.
• 14:35
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and so we do the same thing with our tags, but when you when you get involved in tear out the tags, you get to define what everything means to you.
• 14:46
  SPEAKER_01: And so it no longer becomes, I do want to wear this or I don't want to wear this.
• 14:52
  SPEAKER_01: But sometimes it comes down to the redefining of something that doesn't feel good, but it ends up being something that you wear very proudly.
• 15:00
  SPEAKER_01: And for me, um, the tag cheerleader was one that, man, I was sick of wearing.
• 15:09
  SPEAKER_01: And so, so I grew up an athlete.
• 15:11
  SPEAKER_01: I became a cheerleader in high school and got a lot of negative negative feedback.
• 15:17
  SPEAKER_01: A lot of mean things were said, a lot of um, you know, harsh criticisms, a lot of assumptions were made about me because I was a cheerleader.
• 15:26
  SPEAKER_01: And then um, that followed me into I was an MBA cheerleader for two years.
• 15:32
  SPEAKER_01: And during that time, I got asked three questions regularly.
• 15:37
  SPEAKER_01: And those three questions were all degrading in my eyes.
• 15:41
  SPEAKER_01: They were all very harsh and very um, I don't even know how to explain it.
• 15:47
  SPEAKER_01: One of them is you don't make any money doing this, do you?
• 15:50
  SPEAKER_01: So they're asking you a question, but they're telling you the answer to the question.
• 15:55
  SPEAKER_01: And it's right.
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_00: There's an assumption behind it.
• 15:58
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 15:59
  SPEAKER_01: And and so, and that combined combined with a couple of the other questions, you I just got to the point where I felt like, okay, this is something that I need to be ashamed of.
• 16:08
  SPEAKER_01: This isn't something to be proud of.
• 16:09
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not a professional athlete, like these ball players who are getting to dribble down the court and make all this money.
• 16:16
  SPEAKER_01: And and so it felt like there was a value attached to me.
• 16:18
  SPEAKER_01: Like, why are you doing this?
• 16:20
  SPEAKER_01: You're not making any money.
• 16:21
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I know you're not making money.
• 16:23
  SPEAKER_01: And that was the question that was asked.
• 16:25
  SPEAKER_01: And up until a year ago, actually, um, was the first time I was ever asked, what is your favorite part of being an NBA cheerleader?
• 16:33
  SPEAKER_01: And I had never been asked that.
• 16:35
  SPEAKER_01: But it was interesting because after I stopped dancing for the, for the um, I danced for the Phoenix Suns years ago.
• 16:43
  SPEAKER_01: But after I stopped my dance career, I stopped telling people that I was a professional cheerleader.
• 16:49
  SPEAKER_01: And for years I would have people say, Why aren't you sharing this story?
• 16:54
  SPEAKER_01: Like it's so exciting and you know, it it should be something you're proud of.
• 16:57
  SPEAKER_01: And I I wasn't.
• 16:59
  SPEAKER_01: I I just didn't tell anybody.
• 17:01
  SPEAKER_01: And it wasn't until Tear Out the Tags came along that I realized I'm still a professional cheerleader.
• 17:08
  SPEAKER_01: I'm a I'm a coach, I'm a facilitator of training programs, I I'm a I'm a relationship person.
• 17:16
  SPEAKER_01: I like that's who I am.
• 17:18
  SPEAKER_01: That's what what makes me thrive.
• 17:20
  SPEAKER_01: And so it really took me taking out that negative label and processing through why it became negative over time and just redefining it.
• 17:28
  SPEAKER_01: And now I wear cheerleader so proudly.
• 17:31
  SPEAKER_01: Like if you see any emails from me, you'll see that I say cheering for you because that's my job.
• 17:36
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 17:37
  SPEAKER_01: So that's an example of how um, you know, labels can be correct but defined incorrectly.
• 17:45
  SPEAKER_00: So in your in your time as a cheerleader, what were some of the I'm not even sure how to ask this question.
• 17:51
  SPEAKER_00: I don't hope it comes across and it makes sense.
• 17:54
  SPEAKER_00: Because sometimes, you know, in in these podcast conversations, I think of things and then I think they make sense and they actually don't.
• 18:00
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but I'm gonna go ahead and ask it.
• 18:01
  SPEAKER_00: What were some of the hopes and dreams that some of your your um cheerleader colleagues, is that the right way to say it?
• 18:10
  SPEAKER_00: Fellow cheerleaders, what were some of the hopes and dreams that they really wanted to accomplish, but you feel like because they were a cheerleader, they they felt like that was holding them back from doing what they really would have loved to be doing.
• 18:22
  SPEAKER_01: You know, the interesting thing about that world is, and it's it's the most common assumption that I see is people assume that we're just pretty girls in tiny uniforms and we're out there to be objectified by men, to be totally honest with you.
• 18:38
  SPEAKER_01: And that's just not the truth.
• 18:40
  SPEAKER_01: Like these are highly talented women that are highly athletic and they're flexible and they're entertaining and they're they have amazing personalities.
• 18:50
  SPEAKER_01: And on top of having it all, on top of being like having every great quality on the planet and being beautiful, they're like 99.9% of the dancers that I've interacted with are highly educated, highly driven, highly motivated, have huge goals, and are incredibly good humans.
• 19:11
  SPEAKER_01: So, you know, I always tell people back when I was dancing, we had we had engineers, we had nurses, we had teachers, we had um business owners.
• 19:22
  SPEAKER_01: And I mean, these women were, you know, kicking butt and taking names during the day, and then coming and and you know, dancing and entertaining the crowd in the evenings.
• 19:35
  SPEAKER_01: And so it, you know, it really was this fantastic hobby that we all got to just enjoy.
• 19:41
  SPEAKER_01: And it was a huge part of our lives because it was, you know, there's a time period in your life where you can do things like that.
• 19:47
  SPEAKER_01: You have time for things like that.
• 19:49
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm not sure if I answered your question, but yeah, it really does.
• 19:54
  SPEAKER_00: You know, many times as I have seen, and not just cheerleaders, but other I guess other areas.
• 20:02
  SPEAKER_00: Well, let's take football players, for example.
• 20:04
  SPEAKER_00: A lot of people um look at football players and they would go, Well, they're football players, they're you know, it's like they're there's kind of the stereotype of the dumb jock, you know.
• 20:12
  SPEAKER_00: Guys have stereotypes, women have stereotypes, everybody has stereotypes.
• 20:16
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, what a tag.
• 20:17
  SPEAKER_01: I love this.
• 20:17
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 20:18
  SPEAKER_00: But I'm like, you know, to be a cheerleader, like you not only have to be athletic, but you have to be really intelligent because it's now I'm not a cheerleader, I never have been, so I don't claim to have any knowledge of this area.
• 20:30
  SPEAKER_00: Obviously, you're the expert, but it seems to me like you have to be pretty intelligent and really athletic and coordinated to do those routines, especially where you're like stacking on top of people and jumping and you're and people are catching you, and I'm totally blowing this because I have no idea what I'm talking about.
• 20:46
  SPEAKER_01: But it's very accurate.
• 20:47
  SPEAKER_00: No, no, but it just looks like something that is highly coordinated and highly difficult, and you've got to have a high level of athleticism and coordination to pull this off without somebody breaking their neck.
• 20:57
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 20:58
  SPEAKER_00: That's what it looks like to me.
• 20:59
  SPEAKER_01: I think that's the thing.
• 21:00
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, you're you're hitting the nail on the head with every industry and job there is, every single job that exists on the planet, every single role that exists on the planet comes with a pretty large checklist of things that people don't see the back end of.
• 21:14
  SPEAKER_01: I just had a conversation last week with a five-time world champion Wake Surfer.
• 21:18
  SPEAKER_01: Her name is Ashley Kidd.
• 21:20
  SPEAKER_01: And man, to listen to her describe the work that goes into a two-minute ride and you know, maybe 12 or 13 or 20 tricks.
• 21:31
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and and really the people don't see the back end of anything.
• 21:35
  SPEAKER_01: People don't see the back end of what you do in your writing and all that goes into creating a masterpiece of a book.
• 21:43
  SPEAKER_01: So, you know, I would say it's the same thing.
• 21:45
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that's what's so important about tags is we also need to teach people the right questions to ask so that we can really start getting to know the information that's in our world and and see people as a whole person and not just these hashtags, you know, these.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_01: These titles and these labels.
• 22:02
  SPEAKER_01: So, you know, to your point, one of one of the tags that I think is widely criticized by older generations right now is the tag influencer.
• 22:12
  SPEAKER_01: Every kid wants to be an influencer.
• 22:15
  SPEAKER_01: And I have actually heard adults, you know, knock kids down when they say, you know, I want to be an influencer, I want to be a YouTuber.
• 22:23
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I'm here to tell you, and you know this as well as I, as well as I do, that if you're going to be in business for yourself, if you're going to be a creator of any kind, if you're going to offer a service, you almost have to be an influencer in our world.
• 22:37
  SPEAKER_01: And it's only going to keep growing and continue to get out of control.
• 22:42
  SPEAKER_01: But when you really look at the word influence, influencer, it's seen as a negative.
• 22:47
  SPEAKER_01: But being an influencer is just being a leader.
• 22:50
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I'm sorry.
• 22:51
  SPEAKER_01: My kids want to be an influencer.
• 22:53
  SPEAKER_01: Awesome.
• 22:54
  SPEAKER_01: That is awesome.
• 22:55
  SPEAKER_01: My kid wants to be a leader.
• 22:56
  SPEAKER_01: How cool is that?
• 22:58
  unknown: Yeah.
• 22:58
  SPEAKER_01: So that's an example of how society can make us feel like we have a negative tag when really I want to influence people.
• 23:05
  SPEAKER_01: I want to influence change.
• 23:06
  SPEAKER_01: I want to teach people.
• 23:08
  SPEAKER_01: Like, none of that is bad.
• 23:09
  SPEAKER_01: It's all great stuff.
• 23:11
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my goodness.
• 23:12
  SPEAKER_00: I couldn't agree more.
• 23:13
  SPEAKER_00: And I do think that some, and not to knock older generations, and I guess I'm putting myself in this category too a little bit, because so many of us grew up with the idea of okay, you get a job, you're employed by somebody, you have that job for decades, then you retire and then you die.
• 23:27
  SPEAKER_00: And that's pretty much your cycle of life.
• 23:29
  SPEAKER_00: But that's not the case anymore.
• 23:31
  SPEAKER_00: We have so many opportunities.
• 23:32
  SPEAKER_00: And why would you I don't know, I I'm struggling to understand why somebody would be content just getting a job where you're working for somebody else and doing what somebody else wants all day when you have so many opportunities to create your own stuff, to have your own brand to have your own podcast or YouTube channel or books or whatever you whatever it is that you want to do.
• 23:53
  SPEAKER_00: Why would you be content fulfilling somebody else's vision when you have your own vision and you have all the all the opportun opportunities in the world to get your stuff out there, most of it for free, like YouTube or podcasting, which is so cheap, or self-publishing or blogs or whatever it is.
• 24:10
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, it's just I'm just blown away by how so many people they just settle for I'm just gonna work for somebody else my whole life and I'm not gonna attempt to put my own stuff out there because I'm too scared of what people are gonna think.
• 24:23
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, definitely.
• 24:24
  SPEAKER_01: Well, and I think that's a problem.
• 24:25
  SPEAKER_01: I think most people are not content.
• 24:28
  SPEAKER_01: Most people followed that path that was laid out for us, that that exact path that you said.
• 24:34
  SPEAKER_01: And if you think about it, what comes after having kids is retirement.
• 24:39
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, there's a big gap in between those two things.
• 24:43
  SPEAKER_01: And raising kids is hard, right?
• 24:45
  SPEAKER_01: Raising kids is taxing and you lose yourself a lot of times in your family dynamic.
• 24:51
  SPEAKER_01: I see this all the time.
• 24:52
  SPEAKER_01: I have a lot of clients who come to me and they have spent so much time living that role and really just being all about their kids that their marriage is suffering, their career is suffering, their self-worth is suffering because there's not been any work done on their own dreams.
• 25:08
  SPEAKER_01: And we do this.
• 25:09
  SPEAKER_01: We take our dreams that we're told we can't do and we ball them up and we stuff them into the, you know, pits of our fingers and our toes inside of us, and then we stack tags in our bodies that block us from getting anywhere near those dreams.
• 25:24
  SPEAKER_01: Um, you know, it's funny.
• 25:26
  SPEAKER_01: I remember vividly being in second grade and our teacher asked a group of us what we wanted to be when we grew up.
• 25:32
  SPEAKER_01: And I, for the life of me, cannot remember what I said.
• 25:35
  SPEAKER_01: I always wanted to be a mom.
• 25:36
  SPEAKER_01: So that's my assumption that I said I want to be a mom.
• 25:40
  SPEAKER_01: But the the circle went to a little girl who said, I want to be a veterinarian.
• 25:45
  SPEAKER_01: And oh my gosh, fireworks may has may have well has shot out of my teacher's behind.
• 25:51
  SPEAKER_01: She just celebrated this child and you know, just over the top.
• 25:56
  SPEAKER_01: Like, and I at the time remember thinking, okay, so what the rest of us want to do is obviously not good enough because we didn't get that same reaction.
• 26:06
  SPEAKER_01: But this child is better.
• 26:09
  SPEAKER_01: She's, you know, more important.
• 26:11
  SPEAKER_01: And you know, when you're in second grade, that's the only level of comparison you have is like, okay, she's better than me because she wants to do this job.
• 26:20
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I will tell you that that um child became a veterinarian, and it is not necessarily what she thought she was going to be signing up for because she got so much credit from the time she was a young child like that.
• 26:34
  SPEAKER_01: And I think we do this, right?
• 26:36
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I wanted to be a country singer when I was a kid, but I wouldn't have told a soul that because I knew that I would get the feedback that says, Oh, you can't do that.
• 26:46
  SPEAKER_01: There's too many people trying to do that.
• 26:49
  SPEAKER_01: And so I stuffed that dream deep down in my fingertips when I was like before I was even on a stage.
• 26:57
  SPEAKER_01: So yeah, a lot of our tags, you know, they're old and we've been wearing them for a long time, you believe it or not.
• 27:06
  SPEAKER_00: It is really interesting to hear that perspective about the teacher.
• 27:09
  SPEAKER_00: And I've thought about this a lot because I've been a teacher for a long time.
• 27:13
  SPEAKER_00: And many times students will, students who I haven't seen in many years, they'll, you know, I'll talk to them on Facebook, or they'll come back to our school and I'll talk to them or something.
• 27:23
  SPEAKER_00: And a lot of times they'll say something about, oh, I remember in clo one time in class you said this, or they'll remind me of something that happened in class and that I have no memory of at all, or something we covered in a class, and I'm like, I have no idea what you're talking about.
• 27:36
  SPEAKER_00: That's been years ago.
• 27:37
  SPEAKER_00: But it's funny because teachers have such an outsized influence on people, and we don't even realize it sometimes.
• 27:44
  SPEAKER_00: And and there have been times, I probably should admit this on a public show, where a student has come back to me and said, Oh, you said this in a class and this really impacted me, or something.
• 27:54
  SPEAKER_00: And sometimes I just want to go, well, yeah, I've changed my mind about that.
• 27:58
  SPEAKER_00: Like you shouldn't even have listened to me back then.
• 28:00
  SPEAKER_00: I don't even think that way now, or I do it, I think differently about this issue, or whatever it is.
• 28:05
  SPEAKER_00: And so there is kind of a sense in which we assign all this importance to what teachers tell us, but you know, sometimes we should just ignore it because teachers are human too.
• 28:13
  SPEAKER_00: And half the time is and I'm thinking really more of public school teachers here.
• 28:18
  SPEAKER_00: I have a very easy job compared to public school teachers, by the way.
• 28:21
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but public school teachers, especially, man, I think half the time they're just trying to get through the day.
• 28:27
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah.
• 28:27
  SPEAKER_00: Especially right now with the pandemic, their job is so difficult.
• 28:30
  SPEAKER_01: So without a doubt.
• 28:32
  SPEAKER_01: We are so teachers right now.
• 28:34
  SPEAKER_00: That's yeah, my goodness.
• 28:36
  SPEAKER_01: But back to your point.
• 28:37
  SPEAKER_01: Um, you know, when we were talking about the influencer tag, how many teachers do you know that if somebody asked them what do you do for a living, how many of them would say, I'm an influencer?
• 28:47
  SPEAKER_00: Um virtually none of them.
• 28:49
  SPEAKER_01: None of them.
• 28:50
  SPEAKER_01: But they are.
• 28:52
  SPEAKER_01: They don't have to have a million followers to be an influencer.
• 28:55
  SPEAKER_01: They are absolutely there.
• 28:57
  SPEAKER_01: I can name 10 teachers off the top of my head that either influenced me positively or influenced me negatively.
• 29:04
  SPEAKER_01: And that comes with a lot of pressure.
• 29:06
  SPEAKER_01: And you know this as an educator, as an influencer, rather.
• 29:09
  SPEAKER_01: You you know, depending on the personalities of your students too, they're gonna grab on to different parts of what you say and what you're teaching.
• 29:19
  SPEAKER_00: A huge reason why I have wanted to write my whole life is because my middle school um English teacher, her name was Mrs.
• 29:28
  SPEAKER_00: Tull at the time.
• 29:29
  SPEAKER_00: She's she since has gotten remarried and has a different name, but uh, she told me one day, um, she said, I want you to dedicate your first book to me.
• 29:37
  SPEAKER_00: And I held on to that literally for 30 years.
• 29:40
  SPEAKER_00: I know that sounds crazy.
• 29:41
  SPEAKER_00: But I did, and so I did I didn't dedicate my first book to her because that was a super niche book and nobody read it anyway.
• 29:47
  SPEAKER_00: But my second one I did.
• 29:49
  SPEAKER_00: And it's just funny the things that you hang on to from being a kid, those labels, those tags that people give to us, parents, teachers, siblings, whatever, they really do make a difference.
• 30:00
  SPEAKER_00: And hopefully we're all uh assigning good labels to people and affirming them in the good things that they need to be pursuing.
• 30:08
  SPEAKER_01: Well, and even if it's negative, giving them something constructive that they can do something with it, because oftentimes when we give constructive feedback, it's just feels like a dead end, especially as a creator.
• 30:18
  SPEAKER_01: I know you and I have talked a lot about being an artist and being a writer and and why so many of us have issues with creating content and and stepping into that zone of, okay, I'm gonna leave my corporate job, I'm gonna leave this life that was laid out for me.
• 30:33
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm gonna go speak my mind.
• 30:36
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna go use my creativity, I'm gonna go create art and passion and do all these amazing things.
• 30:41
  SPEAKER_01: But when I go back, at least to my childhood, I remember consecutively hearing you can't make any money doing that.
• 30:48
  SPEAKER_01: And I, you know, I think that's a big problem in our world is money is attached to everything, it seems like.
• 30:54
  SPEAKER_01: And so, um, you know, I I have a stepdaughter who's going through, you know, selecting a college major and and starting her education.
• 31:02
  SPEAKER_01: And it's amazing how influencing the the leaders or the um, I'm trying to remember what they're called, you know, the the folks who come in and show you around campus and try to help you get.
• 31:13
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah, like admissions people.
• 31:15
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 31:15
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 31:16
  SPEAKER_01: The so they come in and they say, well, you should go into this major because you can make X amount of money doing this.
• 31:22
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, like advisors.
• 31:24
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 31:24
  SPEAKER_01: That's that's all you want to do is like, okay, yeah, I want to go do that.
• 31:28
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna go make that money because because you wanna, you want to accomplish.
• 31:32
  SPEAKER_01: You want to, you know, you want a home someday, you want to have a family someday.
• 31:36
  SPEAKER_01: So you just go wherever, because you don't have any direction.
• 31:40
  SPEAKER_01: You know, she does.
• 31:41
  SPEAKER_01: She, I will say she has a lot of direction.
• 31:43
  SPEAKER_01: She's a very, very smart girl.
• 31:45
  SPEAKER_01: But, you know, I wasn't, and I got led in a direction that had nothing to do with what I wanted to do in my life.
• 31:53
  SPEAKER_00: Wow.
• 31:55
  SPEAKER_01: I also I also want to um point out what to what you said earlier.
• 31:59
  SPEAKER_01: I think that so many of us as adults have been trained that it's laughable to talk about our childhoods, you know, like, oh, your childhood was 45 years ago.
• 32:09
  SPEAKER_01: Why are you still talking about your childhood?
• 32:11
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 32:11
  SPEAKER_01: I am telling you, 90% of the people who are listening today have tags that have to do with their childhood.
• 32:18
  SPEAKER_01: And the other 10% had them and have discovered them.
• 32:23
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 32:24
  SPEAKER_00: That's a great insight.
• 32:26
  SPEAKER_00: That's a really good insight.
• 32:27
  SPEAKER_00: And that explains why we go into certain careers a lot of times.
• 32:30
  SPEAKER_00: You know, we have a sibling who goes this direction.
• 32:33
  SPEAKER_00: Well, we decide, well, either we love that sibling and they were affirmed by our parents or other family members.
• 32:39
  SPEAKER_00: So we're gonna follow that direction, or they weren't affirmed, or that there's some other um antagonism or conflict there.
• 32:47
  SPEAKER_00: So we decide to go the other direction, regardless of whether that's what we should be doing or not.
• 32:52
  SPEAKER_00: You know, so much of our family of origin determines our direction in life.
• 32:56
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, definitely.
• 32:57
  SPEAKER_00: So some people never they then they never developed a self-awareness to realize, oh, you know, that that's why I went into this field, or that's why I didn't go into this other field, because of those factors that had nothing to do with my desire or my talent or my passion for it.
• 33:10
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 33:11
  SPEAKER_01: And how many of us haven't weren't seen as a child for the talents that we had?
• 33:16
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 33:17
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I was.
• 33:17
  SPEAKER_01: I was very lucky.
• 33:18
  SPEAKER_01: I had parents who who always celebrated anything I wanted to do.
• 33:22
  SPEAKER_01: But my brother was so he was just a shining star.
• 33:25
  SPEAKER_01: He was good at everything.
• 33:26
  SPEAKER_01: And so, you know, even though I had my own, my own talents and my own passions, I still had this tendency to like want to be like him.
• 33:35
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I just idolized him and I wanted to be like him.
• 33:38
  SPEAKER_01: And so, you know, it doesn't always have to be something that you're pressured into either.
• 33:43
  SPEAKER_01: It can just be, you know, again, this influence in your life that you're you're drawn towards.
• 33:49
  SPEAKER_01: So such a good point.
• 33:51
  SPEAKER_00: And I think there does come a time uh for some people where something, uh, you know, a a role for you or uh a tag or a label is good for you for a certain period in your life.
• 34:02
  SPEAKER_00: And then there comes a time in your adult life where you go, you know, this doesn't really fit anymore.
• 34:06
  SPEAKER_00: I think I want to try on something new or to go a different direction.
• 34:09
  SPEAKER_00: That's that's what happened to me in my late 30s, uh probably mid thirties.
• 34:13
  SPEAKER_00: Um what's that?
• 34:16
  SPEAKER_01: What role did you shed there?
• 34:18
  SPEAKER_00: So I went uh to give a little context.
• 34:21
  SPEAKER_00: So I have an older brother, he's five years older.
• 34:23
  SPEAKER_00: Um we're like best friends, we see each other all the time.
• 34:26
  SPEAKER_00: Uh he's been a huge cheerleader and supporter uh of me my whole life.
• 34:32
  SPEAKER_00: We both went into pastoral ministry, went into went to the same college, which is the school where I now teach, actually.
• 34:38
  SPEAKER_00: And um he's always been a pastor, been very, very successful at that, well liked, well loved, is really, really good at what he does.
• 34:46
  SPEAKER_00: He just got his doctorate last year, so he's he has stayed in the same field his whole life and will probably always stay in the same field, and is very gifted um and very, very successful in what he does.
• 34:57
  SPEAKER_00: And I basically went down the same path, except I went into the music side of pastoral ministry, did that for a while.
• 35:04
  SPEAKER_00: And that's I've always been gifted in that area.
• 35:07
  SPEAKER_00: I'm a guitar player, was a worship leader for a long time, and then started to teach in that area when I was 29.
• 35:15
  SPEAKER_00: Um but when I was in my late 30s, I I really and I describe to people sometimes it was as if somebody had flipped flipped off a light switch.
• 35:25
  SPEAKER_00: At that point, I had been doing music ministry stuff, whether in high school or in a church or in a college setting for about 20 years.
• 35:35
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, there there's a reason.
• 35:37
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, just kind of being really honest, there's a reason why in churches that are growing and that use modern contemporary music, there's a reason why you very rarely see worship leaders who are older than like mid-thirties or 40 at the oldest.
• 35:52
  SPEAKER_00: You do sometimes, but not very often.
• 35:53
  SPEAKER_00: And the reason is because it just emotionally takes a lot out of you because every week, you know, you're you have this high pressure to produce a service, and there's a lot that goes into it, especially now with all kinds of media and streaming and stuff.
• 36:08
  SPEAKER_00: And I just got really, really tired of it.
• 36:10
  SPEAKER_00: And um fortunately, my school let me kind of go into a different direction.
• 36:14
  SPEAKER_00: Around that time, I got interested in in blogging and podcasting and have had some success in those areas, and then I've gotten into ghost striping the last couple of years, and that's gone very, very well.
• 36:24
  SPEAKER_00: But I'm fortunate that I had a support system for me to be able to make that change in my life.
• 36:29
  SPEAKER_00: A lot of people don't.
• 36:30
  SPEAKER_00: No, and it's um so I feel very fortunate.
• 36:33
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's intimidating when you don't have a support system.
• 36:36
  SPEAKER_01: And oftentimes when we start to shift and we start to, you know, step out of our comfort zone and go chase something that we we we know we want, our family and our friends want to throw a big rubber band around us and snap us right back into the place that they know us to be.
• 36:51
  SPEAKER_01: And it's, you know, I think oftentimes we we have tend to make the assumption like they don't want to be happy for me or they don't want to support me, they don't understand me.
• 36:59
  SPEAKER_01: And the truth is that they don't understand you.
• 37:01
  SPEAKER_01: That's probably the truest of that.
• 37:03
  SPEAKER_01: Um, because, you know, we are trained that we are we have to kind of be consistent and do the same thing once we are of a working age.
• 37:12
  SPEAKER_01: And that's just not the truth.
• 37:14
  SPEAKER_01: As humans, we're meant to grow and develop, we're meant to chase after new goals and dreams.
• 37:20
  SPEAKER_01: And I mean, we would not have mentorship in this world if it weren't for people who continued to thrive and develop and be hungry for growth.
• 37:29
  SPEAKER_01: So I love that story.
• 37:30
  SPEAKER_01: I'm curious though, if I can dig in here a little bit, even though you had support, I'm curious if you had any tags show up when you made that pivot.
• 37:41
  SPEAKER_00: Oh goodness, that's uh that's a really good question.
• 37:44
  SPEAKER_00: Um You know, my whole life, um, I my brother's name is Don.
• 37:51
  SPEAKER_00: Um in his younger days, he was called Donnie.
• 37:54
  SPEAKER_00: And my whole life, because my brother and I look very, very similar, we sound identical.
• 37:59
  SPEAKER_00: Like people can't tell us apart whenever they talk to us.
• 38:02
  SPEAKER_00: They've always assumed that we were twins.
• 38:04
  SPEAKER_00: Except he has more hair than I do, and he's thinner than I am.
• 38:07
  SPEAKER_00: So as we get older, it's like there were some tags right there.
• 38:10
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and it's uh, but I'm cool with that.
• 38:12
  SPEAKER_00: But uh, I was always known as Don's brother, and which I which it was always a compliment because my brother's an awesome guy.
• 38:19
  SPEAKER_00: But I I really did struggle um you know, six or seven years ago with this idea of you know, I'm not I'm not happy just being a college professor anymore.
• 38:28
  SPEAKER_00: And I I'm not happy just just doing church and ministry stuff.
• 38:33
  SPEAKER_00: Now, there are people who are in my circle, in my college circle, or people who are friends who are pastors, they're gonna hear that and probably think, you know, that's a disappointment, or why is he still teaching at a Christian college and so forth?
• 38:45
  SPEAKER_00: But I think it's actually very healthy if you have something on the side that you're doing because a lot of pastors and a lot of educators, a lot of counselors for that matter, they sink all their emotional and creative energy into that one thing, but they don't have something they're developing on the side.
• 39:03
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that's really, really important.
• 39:04
  SPEAKER_00: Having a side business and doing podcasting and ghostwriting and things like that, writing my own books, that has actually made my teaching a lot better.
• 39:14
  SPEAKER_00: And the teaching also makes my client work a lot better, I think.
• 39:18
  SPEAKER_00: So having both things for me is really, really important, but I had to come to terms with that and really wrestle through that.
• 39:24
  SPEAKER_00: That I wasn't satisfied just doing quote unquote church ministry stuff anymore.
• 39:30
  SPEAKER_00: I wanted to have a bigger ministry and I wanted to impact people who were outside of that realm.
• 39:35
  SPEAKER_00: And uh, you know, just from a strictly like faith perspective, I've had far more conversations with others about faith-related things outside of the kind of the church realm than I ever have.
• 39:46
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, well, I was just thinking.
• 39:48
  SPEAKER_01: There are different ways to influence people to your learn about God, right?
• 39:52
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, that's what you're finding.
• 39:54
  SPEAKER_01: And the the word that really jumps out to me in in what you just said, more than even the tags that you that you described, is the word just.
• 40:01
  SPEAKER_01: So for your listeners, that's I want your listeners to really hear the word just and the languaging around trying to.
• 40:10
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I want to.
• 40:12
  SPEAKER_01: So these if you have these language patterns in your life, pay attention to them, right?
• 40:18
  SPEAKER_01: And that's what Kent is the perfect example of this.
• 40:20
  SPEAKER_01: If you are feeling, I just don't want to just do this anymore, or I really am trying to get to a point where I can write a book, like listen to that and lean into it because your listeners need to know they have it in them.
• 40:35
  SPEAKER_01: It's there, it's always been there, and all they need to do is remove the labels that are holding them back.
• 40:42
  SPEAKER_00: Man, that is so good.
• 40:43
  SPEAKER_00: I feel like we need like an invitation song right now.
• 40:45
  SPEAKER_00: You know, in the church world, we have like these songs.
• 40:48
  SPEAKER_00: People come forward and like that dedicate their lives and all that stuff.
• 40:51
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah.
• 40:52
  SPEAKER_00: You know, it's it's funny that that we got into all this conversation because for years I really felt like other people were holding me back.
• 40:59
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, you know, I just sort of feel a little bit like I'm being held back, like I don't have the opportunities.
• 41:04
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I'm at this small college and I really want more opportunities.
• 41:08
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I think there comes a point where you open your eyes and you go, you know, the problem is not anybody else.
• 41:13
  SPEAKER_00: I actually, this is actually a really awesome place.
• 41:16
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm I'm not seeing all the blessings that I have on all the opportunities that I have.
• 41:21
  SPEAKER_00: The funny thing is that once I started to to think that way and get more pro more proactive, then I started to shift what my role in my day job was.
• 41:30
  SPEAKER_00: And I started to be more assertive and actually asked to teach certain courses.
• 41:33
  SPEAKER_00: That's when I get into teaching more courses on film and storytelling and blogging and media and things like that.
• 41:40
  SPEAKER_00: That now I I love teaching that stuff.
• 41:42
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 41:43
  SPEAKER_00: So there does come a time where you have to stop blaming everybody else and go, you know what?
• 41:47
  SPEAKER_00: I actually have a pretty good situation here.
• 41:49
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 41:50
  SPEAKER_00: And uh I'm gonna take advantage of all the opportunities that I have around me.
• 41:54
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I call this the bully is me.
• 41:56
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah.
• 41:57
  SPEAKER_01: The bully is me.
• 41:59
  SPEAKER_01: And we do, I mean, unfortunately, we are really surrounded by a society that wants to, you know, point the finger at anxiety and point the finger at depression and point the finger at bullying and you know, all the attacks that happen online, cyberbullying and and all these things.
• 42:18
  SPEAKER_01: And ultimately, and I can't remember who said this, I want to say I'm I'm totally gonna do a Dr.
• 42:22
  SPEAKER_01: Phil quote because I think it was Dr.
• 42:24
  SPEAKER_01: Phil.
• 42:25
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but he's he says, you know, you're the one who takes the baton.
• 42:29
  SPEAKER_01: And that is the truth.
• 42:30
  SPEAKER_01: So if if we really sit with the labels that we don't like that are uncomfortable, like I hated being called a millennial.
• 42:38
  SPEAKER_01: That was one of my big tags that needed to be redefined.
• 42:40
  SPEAKER_01: Now that clearly is one I have to wear because I am a millennial.
• 42:44
  SPEAKER_01: Um, although I tried to deny it for years.
• 42:46
  SPEAKER_01: I tried to pretend like I was at the top end that I could pass as a Gen Xer.
• 42:50
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but it's, you know, to that point, it's it's so, yes, there are always going to be outside influences throwing things at us.
• 43:03
  SPEAKER_01: We live in a world.
• 43:04
  SPEAKER_01: The world is always turning, it's always flowing.
• 43:06
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, minus maybe COVID-19 and how much we've been limited socially, but anytime you're going to be interacting with content, people, experiences, events, anything, there are going to be tags and labels that we can grab onto.
• 43:20
  SPEAKER_01: And when we are the bully, we will grab those tags and attach them.
• 43:26
  SPEAKER_01: And they really have nothing to do with anybody else, to your point.
• 43:29
  SPEAKER_00: That's so good.
• 43:30
  SPEAKER_01: So I'd love to share with you.
• 43:32
  SPEAKER_01: If we have time, I'd love to share with you the six things that are written on most tags.
• 43:35
  SPEAKER_00: That was going to be my next question.
• 43:37
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, cool.
• 43:38
  SPEAKER_01: So we've talked about so many pieces of it.
• 43:40
  SPEAKER_01: So I'd love to just kind of encapsulate it for your listeners.
• 43:44
  SPEAKER_01: So if you grab, if you, you know, reach back in your shirt that you're wearing right now and you you have a tag back there.
• 43:50
  SPEAKER_01: Now, if you're a smart Alec and you say, I have a tag that's printed on my shirt, just go with me because you know what I'm talking about.
• 43:58
  SPEAKER_01: So there's a tag on the back of your Shirt and on that tag, there are traditionally six things written on it.
• 44:04
  SPEAKER_01: The very first is always brand.
• 44:06
  SPEAKER_01: And brand shows up in your life in so many areas.
• 44:10
  SPEAKER_01: Brand is the roles that you play in your family, in your life, in your community.
• 44:15
  SPEAKER_01: Um, brand is what you your image is, what you look like.
• 44:19
  SPEAKER_01: What are you blonde?
• 44:21
  SPEAKER_01: Are you brunette?
• 44:22
  SPEAKER_01: Are you, you know, um uh I was thinking tall.
• 44:27
  SPEAKER_01: Sorry, I went off on a tangent there.
• 44:30
  SPEAKER_01: But if you just imagine it's so easy for people to see you and make assumptions about you, and that's your brand, right?
• 44:35
  SPEAKER_01: That's what people just see you as automatically.
• 44:38
  SPEAKER_01: You really get no say in it.
• 44:39
  SPEAKER_01: It's also your job.
• 44:41
  SPEAKER_01: Your brand can be your job.
• 44:43
  SPEAKER_01: You're a writer, that's my brand.
• 44:45
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I'm a public speaker, that's my brand.
• 44:48
  SPEAKER_01: Well, when I was an MBA dancer, that was my brand, but it didn't necessarily fit who I was as a person because it was very much a brand that I had to lean into and be part of.
• 44:59
  SPEAKER_01: The number two thing that's written on every tag is size.
• 45:02
  SPEAKER_01: And oh my gosh, women think size is only relevant for them.
• 45:06
  SPEAKER_01: It's not.
• 45:07
  SPEAKER_01: It is also relevant for men.
• 45:09
  SPEAKER_01: It's the way we're shaped, it's the things we do and don't like about our face structure, it's, you know, our height, weight, how we carry ourselves, how we walk, our presence.
• 45:20
  SPEAKER_01: You know, weight shows up for almost every person on the planet or size.
• 45:25
  SPEAKER_01: I'm sorry, size.
• 45:26
  SPEAKER_01: Um, number three is origin.
• 45:29
  SPEAKER_01: This is the checklist of expectations of what it was like to be Kent Sanders growing up in southern Missouri, or B.
• 45:37
  SPEAKER_01: Evans growing up in, you know, a small town in Wyoming.
• 45:41
  SPEAKER_01: And the interesting thing about checklists, and I want to dive in a little bit on this because we've sort of covered things like this.
• 45:48
  SPEAKER_01: We all think, oh, well, you know, my parents were great parents.
• 45:52
  SPEAKER_01: We get defensive of, you know, how we were raised.
• 45:55
  SPEAKER_01: And that's, I want you to hear that the checklist of expectations isn't necessarily something that was verbalized to you.
• 46:02
  SPEAKER_01: It isn't necessarily a mean bully sibling in your family who told you you weren't good enough.
• 46:08
  SPEAKER_01: A lot of our checklist of expectations that we grew up with is assumed, assumed by us back to, you know, the bully is me thing.
• 46:16
  SPEAKER_01: So true.
• 46:17
  SPEAKER_01: And so, yeah.
• 46:18
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, sometimes it's even the um the community that you live in.
• 46:22
  SPEAKER_01: I I went to a high school that had a large LDS population.
• 46:26
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and for those that don't know what LDS is, it's Mormonism.
• 46:30
  SPEAKER_01: And so, you know, growing up around a Mormon community came with a lot of expectations of how we needed to show up and how we needed to behave.
• 46:39
  SPEAKER_01: And even not being a part of the faith, there was still an expectation there if I wanted to have the friendships that I had.
• 46:46
  SPEAKER_01: And so, you know, that checklist can be pretty vast and it can also be largely assumed.
• 46:52
  SPEAKER_01: Um, the fourth thing is material.
• 46:55
  SPEAKER_01: And the material, if you think about the material that your clothing is made of, that's really what the material is of our inner spirit.
• 47:02
  SPEAKER_01: It's our personality traits, it's our feelings and emotions, it's our faith and our spirituality.
• 47:10
  SPEAKER_01: And it's really what makes up the fabric of who we are.
• 47:14
  SPEAKER_01: The fifth thing, and I think this is so important, is care instructions.
• 47:19
  SPEAKER_01: How many of us had care instructions that weren't clear?
• 47:23
  SPEAKER_01: Or how many of us didn't learn how to properly care for ourselves, how to properly speak to ourselves?
• 47:29
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and you were kind of mentioning earlier you're you're you have a student who's a who's an overachiever.
• 47:35
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I don't know, right?
• 47:37
  SPEAKER_01: I know nothing about his background, but there's probably something in there that he had influenced in him that said, okay, if you're not this good and you're not this high of an achiever and you're not this perfect, that's a word that that comes up in in you know my realm is you have to be perfect.
• 48:00
  SPEAKER_01: Well, what are the care instructions there?
• 48:03
  SPEAKER_01: Is that is he able to give himself a pass?
• 48:06
  SPEAKER_01: Is he able to give himself, you know, the permission to not be perfect and to not come in with, you know, the perfect grade and the perfect test scores and the perfect essay papers and and so on and so forth.
• 48:21
  SPEAKER_01: And so care instructions are oftentimes the thing we find people just don't even were never taught.
• 48:28
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know how to care for myself.
• 48:30
  SPEAKER_01: And then the sixth thing is, and this one is the one that affects me the most.
• 48:34
  SPEAKER_01: And people laugh because if you're someone who isn't affected by this, you don't get it.
• 48:39
  SPEAKER_01: But if you are, you're gonna be like, oh my gosh, that's so me.
• 48:42
  SPEAKER_01: So the sixth thing is foreign language.
• 48:44
  SPEAKER_01: And usually on a tag, there is care instructions written in a foreign language.
• 48:50
  SPEAKER_01: And that foreign language to me is anything that a stranger says to you, right?
• 48:57
  SPEAKER_01: Someone you don't know wants to label you, or someone you do know says something to you that doesn't make sense.
• 49:05
  SPEAKER_01: And you're like, that's that doesn't, that's not who I am.
• 49:08
  SPEAKER_01: Or the third one of that is two strangers having a conversation that pings an injury that you have, an emotional injury that you have inside of you, and you attach a tag because of a foreign conversation that happens outside of your world, right?
• 49:25
  SPEAKER_01: And I, for whatever reason, I am super susceptible to foreign language tags.
• 49:31
  SPEAKER_01: So I can hear a complete stranger talking to another complete stranger, and I will hear something that makes me feel judged or makes me feel like they're making an assumption about me, even though they're not even interacting with me.
• 49:44
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and that's that's um actually a a big area where tags arrive.
• 49:49
  SPEAKER_01: And I don't think we're aware of it as a society.
• 49:54
  SPEAKER_00: Man, this is pure gold.
• 49:56
  SPEAKER_00: This really is.
• 49:57
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, and and I I'm an educator at heart and a writer.
• 50:00
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm looking at this and going, I mean, and we've talked about this before.
• 50:04
  SPEAKER_00: It's like you've got a whole book outline here, you've got curriculum, you've got like stuff for speaking, like you have a whole of course you already know this, but like there's a whole lot of stuff that you can do with this, and this is really, really powerful.
• 50:17
  SPEAKER_01: Well, thank you.
• 50:18
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I appreciate that.
• 50:21
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you.
• 50:21
  SPEAKER_01: I I appreciate that.
• 50:22
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I've got my own tags surrounding it, and so hearing somebody else encourage the content and loving the message is is absolutely affirming, and and it will help me tear out my own tags that I'm still dealing with.
• 50:35
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I think it it is funny.
• 50:37
  SPEAKER_00: I I loved what you mentioned also about our geographic area, you know, our origin tag.
• 50:42
  SPEAKER_00: That is such a such an important thing that many times we miss.
• 50:47
  SPEAKER_00: And I think especially when, you know, we're part of a family of origin, or you know, I come from a town in southern Missouri, very small town.
• 50:55
  SPEAKER_00: And people in every geographic area, they think a certain way, they act a certain way.
• 50:59
  SPEAKER_00: There's assumptions, as you mentioned, that come with that.
• 51:01
  SPEAKER_00: And it is funny though, that whenever you move away from that area and then you go back there, or you're in you're interacting with people who are kind of still in that that area and still in in that that culture.
• 51:14
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes you you just you just look at that and go, wow, I I don't think that way anymore.
• 51:19
  SPEAKER_00: For good or for bad, and it's not a good or bad thing necessarily.
• 51:21
  SPEAKER_00: It's just I'm not that thing anymore.
• 51:24
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 51:25
  SPEAKER_00: Or I have changed or I I've I've let go of tags or I've embraced new tags or whatever.
• 51:30
  SPEAKER_01: So and sometimes and a perfect go ahead.
• 51:33
  SPEAKER_01: I'm sorry, a perfect example of that is the political landscape right now, without diving into any politics here.
• 51:40
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, depending on where you go in this country, it's either red or blue, and it's highly divided right now.
• 51:47
  SPEAKER_01: And it's amazing how you know people vote for reasons that have to do with their area of influence.
• 51:55
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my gosh.
• 51:56
  SPEAKER_01: Absolutely in the industries that they're in.
• 51:59
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I think the most disappointing thing to me about all that is uh it has nothing to do with with one side or the other.
• 52:04
  SPEAKER_00: It's that there's so little nuance in discussions about it.
• 52:07
  SPEAKER_00: You know, it's like you're either this or this.
• 52:10
  SPEAKER_00: And absolutely.
• 52:11
  SPEAKER_01: But I think well, and it's it's a perfect example of if you take two high conflict people who cannot get along because one is red and one is blue in this period in time.
• 52:22
  SPEAKER_01: If you peeled off those labels off of them, likely they would have hundreds of other relation points.
• 52:29
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 52:29
  SPEAKER_01: And that's really where when we have relational conflict, you know, we need to think, okay, I and here I'm gonna give you another little tidbit example.
• 52:39
  SPEAKER_01: I am a stepmom.
• 52:41
  SPEAKER_01: And oftentimes there's conflict in a combined family situation.
• 52:45
  SPEAKER_01: But if I peel off that tag and the other party peels off their tag, we we for sure can get along and have great conversations and have a lot in common.
• 52:56
  SPEAKER_01: Guaranteed.
• 52:57
  SPEAKER_01: Does that always happen?
• 52:58
  SPEAKER_01: No, because those tags are they're blocking us, right?
• 53:02
  SPEAKER_01: And so that's a perfect example of some of our bigger tags can really make us close-minded to seeing the beauty in in another person and what we can really learn from them.
• 53:12
  SPEAKER_00: Oh man, there is so much here, B.
• 53:14
  SPEAKER_00: Like you you just have like a whole world of stuff here.
• 53:19
  SPEAKER_00: I just love the way you've organized this and thought this through.
• 53:22
  SPEAKER_00: And and as you mentioned, this applies not just to individuals, but to organizations.
• 53:26
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, goodness, organizations have their own branding and issues about size.
• 53:31
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, even like where I come from in the church world, if you're a little church and there's a big church down the street, you've got you probably have some insecurity issues.
• 53:40
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 53:40
  SPEAKER_00: Every pastor deals with that.
• 53:42
  SPEAKER_00: Let's just, I mean, a lot of pastors would say that's not the case, but it is true.
• 53:45
  SPEAKER_00: Educators deal with this if you're at a small school.
• 53:48
  SPEAKER_00: Um so it this is an organizational thing.
• 53:51
  SPEAKER_00: I think it's also a generational thing.
• 53:53
  SPEAKER_00: Like you mentioned, the thing about being a millennial, and man, do we ever have a huge problem in the United States with labeling generations?
• 54:00
  SPEAKER_00: This they're the selfish, self-entitled boomers, they're the the cynical, sarcastic Gen Xers that's my generation, you know, like defined by the Seinfeld sarcasm.
• 54:10
  SPEAKER_00: You know, they're the the entitled millennials, they're the social media addicted Gen Zers.
• 54:18
  SPEAKER_00: You know, we all have we have these labels that are not really helpful at all.
• 54:21
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, and you wouldn't believe the corporate divide, the the divide and conflict that's happening in the corporate world right now.
• 54:27
  SPEAKER_01: And you know, the big joke is oh, the boomers don't want to let go, the the boomers don't want to leave.
• 54:32
  SPEAKER_01: Well, we've got at least five more years of some pretty major conflict between generations.
• 54:37
  SPEAKER_01: And if you're a leader listening to this podcast, I I challenge you to pay attention to your impact people.
• 54:44
  SPEAKER_01: They're they're generally your quiet, creative, they're your feelers, they're your thinkers, they're your impact people.
• 54:50
  SPEAKER_01: And oftentimes they're your innovators and leaders are overlooking their innovators on a daily basis because their innovators are too scared and too shy to show up.
• 55:00
  SPEAKER_01: And that's where these tags show up, right?
• 55:03
  SPEAKER_01: All these tags and all these labels, we we categorize people and we kind of stick them in the corner.
• 55:08
  SPEAKER_01: Well, they're in the corner and they have the ideas to change your business, especially in a time where we're going through a pandemic.
• 55:16
  SPEAKER_01: So I hope that at least one leader that's listening to your podcast hears that and does something with it.
• 55:22
  SPEAKER_00: And the truth is that, you know, let's all just be really honest.
• 55:26
  SPEAKER_00: The older that we get, the more that that we tend to get stuck in past ways of thinking and in our in our own experience.
• 55:32
  SPEAKER_00: Like how many times as a parent have we all said, you know, back in my day, this is the way we did it.
• 55:37
  SPEAKER_00: And I didn't have this when I was a kid, and we just assume it has to be that way for our kids or for the the younger people who work with us.
• 55:45
  SPEAKER_00: And man, kids kids today have a reputation, older generations have labeled younger kids as they're not polite, they're sarcastic, they don't want to work.
• 55:56
  SPEAKER_01: You know, to be fair, I think boomers and even the older of the Gen Xers were raised with this you're a kid, your voice doesn't matter.
• 56:03
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 56:04
  SPEAKER_01: Shut up and eat dinner.
• 56:05
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, oftentimes when you hear stories, uh, and they were told you aren't allowed to have feelings about this.
• 56:11
  SPEAKER_01: So, you know, I even with my parents, um, you know, I've said this to my mom a million times.
• 56:16
  SPEAKER_01: It's almost like they were told if you don't suppress all the emotions that came with this, then you're wrong.
• 56:23
  SPEAKER_01: And and that that generation really, that's just how they live.
• 56:27
  SPEAKER_01: They're they're the worker bees, they're the builders, right?
• 56:30
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 56:30
  SPEAKER_01: And so there wasn't room for complaining.
• 56:33
  SPEAKER_01: You got your butt out there in the snow and you and you went to work.
• 56:36
  SPEAKER_01: And and you know, a lot of these stereotypes have some truth behind them.
• 56:40
  SPEAKER_01: But I also, you know, in a generational conversation, I love, I love generational conversations because you cannot take 80 million people and slap the same label.
• 56:50
  SPEAKER_01: Exactly.
• 56:50
  SPEAKER_01: You can't.
• 56:52
  SPEAKER_01: 80 million people have so much that isn't in common.
• 56:56
  SPEAKER_01: You can't just say, okay, they're just, you know, this is the generation of builders, this is the generation of sustainers, this is the generation of innovators.
• 57:07
  SPEAKER_01: That's just, it's not the truth.
• 57:09
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
• 57:10
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
• 57:11
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I would be remiss if I didn't ask you about um, before we wrap this up here in just a minute, um, about the some of the things that you're reading.
• 57:19
  SPEAKER_00: You know, this is a writing podcast, after all.
• 57:21
  SPEAKER_00: So I always have to ask about some things that you're reading or books that have impacted you or that are impacting you right now.
• 57:27
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I would love to.
• 57:28
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I just got referred to a book called Little Black Stretchy Pants by Chip Wilson, and he's the creator of Lululemon.
• 57:36
  SPEAKER_01: So I I just downloaded it this morning, and I don't think I've ever been so excited to jump into it, um, into a book.
• 57:43
  SPEAKER_01: It's it's about how he developed a brand, but it's really about influence.
• 57:48
  SPEAKER_01: And I think it's so relevant in this world.
• 57:50
  SPEAKER_01: You know, this influencer tag, it's on the rise and it needs to be.
• 57:54
  SPEAKER_01: We need to be leading people to change, we need to be leading people to growth.
• 57:58
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm really excited to dive into that book.
• 58:00
  SPEAKER_01: Um, the other, the book that I've read this year that had the most influence on me was um, and I'll show it to you.
• 58:07
  SPEAKER_01: It's Caitlin Crosby, and it's called You Are the Key.
• 58:11
  SPEAKER_01: And the big the reason that this affected me so much is I remember being in college and I went to a concert where she was um the opener and she came out with her guitar and she sang these songs that were um, you know, self-written, and they were just they were about development and growth and and tags really.
• 58:31
  SPEAKER_01: Like when I read her book, I'm like, oh my gosh, she had so many insecurities and she had all these things that were so heavy in her life, but she was doing something with them.
• 58:41
  SPEAKER_01: She was writing these songs that were influence for change and all these amazing things.
• 58:45
  SPEAKER_01: And I remember being that age and thinking, I would do anything to do that.
• 58:50
  SPEAKER_01: I would, I would love to do that.
• 58:52
  SPEAKER_01: I would love to, you know, stand on a stage and and bring these positive messages to people.
• 58:57
  SPEAKER_01: And I just was so envious of her.
• 58:59
  SPEAKER_01: And um, you know, after reading her book, it's like now I'm I'm writing a book.
• 59:05
  SPEAKER_01: And here I am, like 10 steps behind her, finally chasing my own dreams.
• 59:10
  SPEAKER_01: And she writes about all the things that have affected me and caused my own, my own paralysis in in my it with my tags.
• 59:18
  SPEAKER_01: And so, you know, it was really cool when I finished this book.
• 59:21
  SPEAKER_01: I posted it on Instagram and she wrote me a comment on there from from her Instagram.
• 59:25
  SPEAKER_01: And I, you know, it's so cool to see someone who she clearly knows what other women are stepping through and for her to pay attention to her readers and be like, you know, I'm proud of you and and give messages of support.
• 59:37
  SPEAKER_01: I just thought it was really cool.
• 59:39
  SPEAKER_01: Um, she has a company called The Giving Keys, and they are keys that have words on them.
• 59:46
  SPEAKER_01: And they are um, she hires homeless people to come in and and create and and manufacture these keys.
• 59:54
  SPEAKER_01: And so just what she's done is really cool and really influential.
• 59:57
  SPEAKER_01: And so that's the book that I've read this year that I'm just pumped about.
• 1:00:01
  SPEAKER_01: And uh, but I'm I love reading.
• 1:00:04
  SPEAKER_01: Reading is just it is such an open door of of information and intelligence, and it's just brilliant.
• 1:00:12
  SPEAKER_00: Well, B, this has been a blast.
• 1:00:14
  SPEAKER_00: Um, how can listeners find out more about you and your work?
• 1:00:17
  SPEAKER_00: Tear out the tags and all the cool things that you're working on.
• 1:00:20
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, at tearouthetags.com.
• 1:00:23
  SPEAKER_01: We have a free PDF where you can start discovering your tags.
• 1:00:27
  SPEAKER_01: We also are on Instagram and Facebook at emboldenlabel.
• 1:00:31
  SPEAKER_01: It's E-M-B-L-D-N label.
• 1:00:35
  SPEAKER_01: And um, we also have a podcast coming.
• 1:00:39
  SPEAKER_01: I'm so excited.
• 1:00:40
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so on November 26th, 2020, the Tear Out the Tags podcast will be available on iTunes.
• 1:00:47
  SPEAKER_00: Awesome.
• 1:00:48
  SPEAKER_00: Well, congrats.
• 1:00:49
  SPEAKER_00: I'm so excited you're doing a podcast.
• 1:00:50
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you.
• 1:00:51
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, I'm really excited.
• 1:00:52
  SPEAKER_01: Well, you're like my my beacon of leadership.
• 1:00:54
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm watching all the cool things you're doing.
• 1:00:57
  SPEAKER_01: And so I'm just gonna come in and follow Kent's foot footsteps in the podcasting world.
• 1:01:02
  SPEAKER_00: Oh gosh.
• 1:01:02
  SPEAKER_00: Well, we'll follow carefully.
• 1:01:04
  SPEAKER_00: I've made a lot of mistakes over the years with podcasting, but uh I feel like I'm kind of just now getting into my groove a little bit.
• 1:01:11
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm sure you will you will be much faster to success than I am.
• 1:01:15
  SPEAKER_01: The learning comes from the mistakes, so you should be proud of those as well.
• 1:01:19
  SPEAKER_00: Well, that yeah, that's true.
• 1:01:20
  SPEAKER_00: I've made a lot of them, but it's okay.
• 1:01:21
  SPEAKER_00: We're still we're all learning, you know.
• 1:01:23
  SPEAKER_00: That's the whole that's the name of the game.
• 1:01:25
  SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
• 1:01:25
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, keep growing, keep going, right?
• 1:01:27
  SPEAKER_00: Well, thanks again.
• 1:01:28
  SPEAKER_00: This has been a blast, and I know this is really gonna bless listeners.
• 1:01:31
  SPEAKER_00: It's blessed me.
• 1:01:32
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you.
• 1:01:33
  SPEAKER_00: And I really just I want to take a second to acknowledge the work that you're doing and the way that you're putting your heart into something that really is gonna make a difference.
• 1:01:40
  SPEAKER_00: It's already making a difference.
• 1:01:41
  SPEAKER_00: Thanks.
• 1:01:42
  SPEAKER_00: Um, it's impacted me, you know, and we've had numerous conversations in the the total life freedom context, that community which listeners have heard me talk about many times before.
• 1:01:51
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but also just um, you know, just on a few different Zoals here and there.
• 1:01:55
  SPEAKER_00: Um, you've impact impacted me, and I love your message, and I know it's gonna continue to impact thousands.
• 1:02:01
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm I'm gonna be a prophet here and say you're gonna impact millions with this message.
• 1:02:06
  SPEAKER_00: I really believe that.
• 1:02:07
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you.
• 1:02:08
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you.
• 1:02:08
  SPEAKER_01: I hope I do.
• 1:02:09
  SPEAKER_01: I hope I'm I hope I'm able to reach a lot of people who who need to dream bigger and need to go do big things because we are all big and extraordinary, and we have lived in a world that's told us we're average.
• 1:02:22
  SPEAKER_01: So go get out in the world and do some big things.
• 1:02:25
  SPEAKER_00: Awesome.
• 1:02:26
  SPEAKER_00: Thanks so much, B.
• 1:02:27
  SPEAKER_01: Thanks, Kent.
• 1:02:28
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I hope you enjoyed that conversation with B.
• 1:02:31
  SPEAKER_00: It was really thought-provoking, and even though we recorded that conversation probably a month ago, I've thought about it a lot since then.
• 1:02:39
  SPEAKER_00: I would say my biggest takeaway is that we as writers need to tear out the tags.
• 1:02:44
  SPEAKER_00: We need to tear out the labels that are holding us back.
• 1:02:47
  SPEAKER_00: Here's what I mean.
• 1:02:49
  SPEAKER_00: I have a lot of people in my life who support my writing, but I've also had people who didn't believe in me and they thought that it was stupid for me to devote my time to writing.
• 1:02:58
  SPEAKER_00: And I've had people who didn't get what I was doing, and you've probably had the same thing in your life as well.
• 1:03:05
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe even you have some close friends or family members who've labeled you as one thing, but you know you're capable of something more, something more creative, something bigger, something bolder, something different than what everybody around you is doing.
• 1:03:20
  SPEAKER_00: And if you feel that way, tear out those tags.
• 1:03:24
  SPEAKER_00: Give yourself some new ones like a writer, artist, a creative, difference maker, entrepreneur, leader, book author, and so on.
• 1:03:35
  SPEAKER_00: You're not beholden to the labels other people have put on you.
• 1:03:39
  SPEAKER_00: And you can change the negative or outdated labels you've put on yourself.
• 1:03:44
  SPEAKER_00: So that's my encouragement to you, and that's my takeaway from this episode.
• 1:03:47
  SPEAKER_00: This is very, very powerful, and I'm excited to see where B goes with this message uh here over the next two or three years.
• 1:03:53
  SPEAKER_00: I want to encourage you to check out B's website, which is tearouthetags.com, as well as her podcast, which is also called Tear Out the Tags, and I will have links to both of those in the show notes.
• 1:04:04
  SPEAKER_00: Ironically, her podcast just launched a couple days ago on Thanksgiving, and I cannot think of a better day for a podcast like that to launch.
• 1:04:13
  SPEAKER_00: And by the way, if you enjoyed this conversation, make sure to give B a shout-out on Instagram at emboldenlabel, which is EMBL D N Label.
• 1:04:24
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I want to thank my special guest B.
• 1:04:25
  SPEAKER_00: Evans for taking the time out to have this conversation.
• 1:04:28
  SPEAKER_00: It was an absolute blast.
• 1:04:30
  SPEAKER_00: And also I thank you for listening to this episode.
• 1:04:33
  SPEAKER_00: I really appreciate your support, and I look forward to seeing you in tomorrow's episode, where we're going to be talking about 10 ways to give as a writer this holiday season.
• 1:04:42
  SPEAKER_00: As always, remember that your writing has the power to change lives.