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2. MyMaine Birth Nya's Maine home birth story · MyMaine Birth

• 0:01
  Speaker 1: I'm Angela and you're listening to my Maine Birth, a space where we share the real life stories of families and their unique birth experiences in the beautiful state of Maine, From our state's biggest hospitals to birth center births and home births, every birth story deserves to be heard and celebrated.
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: Whether you're a soon-to-be mom, a seasoned mother or simply interested in the world of birth, these episodes are for you.
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: Welcome to episode two of the my Main Birth podcast.
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: If you're interested in sharing your birth story on the podcast, fill out the form over on the podcast page on my website, mymainbirthcom, or shoot me a message on Instagram at mymainbirth.
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: As a special bonus, all of my podcast guests receive a gift certificate for a family adventure photo session, redeemable on the session day of your choice.
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: I host session days for my podcast guests throughout the spring, summer and fall at iconic locations across Maine.
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: Join the community of Maine moms sharing their birth stories on the podcast.
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: Head to my website, mymainbirthcom, for all of the info.
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: Now today's birth story guest is Naya, and she's here to share all about her main home birth as a first-time mom.
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: Hi Naya, Welcome to my Main Birth.
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: How are you Good?
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: How are you, Angela?
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: I'm doing good.
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: I'm super excited to hear your birth story, so, before we get into it, will you share a little bit about you and your family?
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: Yeah, absolutely.
• 1:46
  Speaker 2: So it is me and my partner Isaac we're engaged to be married this December and our little one, aurelia.
• 1:58
  Speaker 2: She's two years old, she just turned two on Valentine's Day.
• 2:02
  Speaker 2: She just turned two on Valentine's Day and we are pregnant with our second kiddo, who is going to be arriving, probably this June, which is exciting.
• 2:12
  Speaker 2: And then we also have two big dogs and a cat.
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: Oh, all right, so let's talk about when you found out you were pregnant and a little bit about how your pregnancy with Aurelia went yeah.
• 2:31
  Speaker 2: So, as I said, isaac and I aren't married and we became pregnant with Aurelia about six months into our relationship.
• 2:35
  Speaker 2: So it was definitely kind of a shock for us.
• 2:39
  Speaker 2: But at the same time we had known from truly, like two weeks after dating that we were meant to have a baby together.
• 2:48
  Speaker 2: It just felt this really strong, deep knowing.
• 2:50
  Speaker 2: So there was a lot of mixed feelings when it actually happened, because of all the societal things about how you're supposed to do things and whatnot.
• 3:02
  Speaker 2: It was definitely scary for me.
• 3:04
  Speaker 2: I was 22 when I found out.
• 3:07
  Speaker 2: I turned 23, like a few weeks after, so I was still pretty young, still like dependent on my parents in a lot of ways for things, and Isaac and I had just moved in together for a few months.
• 3:20
  Speaker 2: So I found out and Isaac was at work and I called him at work and I was crying and scared and he was just very like grounded and stable and he was like OK, like we're going to be fine, and then he hung up the phone and told everyone in his workplace.
• 3:37
  Speaker 2: He's like I didn't know.
• 3:39
  Speaker 2: It was supposed to be a secret, but we were able to shift out of fear and anxiety and into excitement and like connection and closeness over it really quickly, because we had for like six months we had been dreaming of becoming a family together someday.
• 3:59
  Speaker 1: So at that time, what were your thoughts in choosing your care?
• 4:03
  Speaker 2: So I waited a while before I actually started seeking out any care, because I was just so new to all of it and all I knew was like you go to a hospital and you get checked out by an OB, because that's what everyone I knew ever did did.
• 4:29
  Speaker 2: So I waited for quite a few weeks and then I did actually go in to a local hospital just to get like my pregnancy confirmed for my workplace so that I could take some time off.
• 4:36
  Speaker 2: And I went in and it was this male doctor and like first of all, no one even explained to me like who was the doctor and who was the nurses, and like what, what they were going to do and what I was even there for.
• 4:48
  Speaker 2: It was really confusing.
• 4:49
  Speaker 2: And this like old man sat down and didn't say anything, didn't introduce himself, didn't say like, yeah, you're pregnant.
• 4:58
  Speaker 2: He literally sat down in the chair, looks at me and says so, are you going to keep it?
• 5:02
  Speaker 2: Looks at me and says, so, are you gonna keep it?
• 5:11
  Speaker 2: And I was like, oh my god.
• 5:12
  Speaker 2: I just was like whoa, what a, what a disrespectful thing to say.
• 5:13
  Speaker 2: Like is he saying that because I don't have a ring on my finger or because I look young, or does he just say that to everyone like yeah?
• 5:21
  Speaker 2: So I was like yes, and I'd like to talk about my options for care.
• 5:27
  Speaker 2: That's why I'm here.
• 5:30
  Speaker 2: So that was really weird.
• 5:32
  Speaker 2: And then I told him that I wanted a home birth and he kind of laughed and was like oh, we don't do that Cause I I guess I thought that like you could see care at a hospital and then they would just like show up at your house like in the 40s, and they use the term midwife for like three or four different, completely different professions.
• 5:57
  Speaker 2: Like a nurse midwife is a completely different profession than a certified professional midwife.
• 6:02
  Speaker 2: You, you know, then like it.
• 6:04
  Speaker 2: So I just I had no idea what was going on.
• 6:07
  Speaker 2: So when he told me they wouldn't do a home birth, I was like okay, well then, screw you guys.
• 6:11
  Speaker 2: So I started looking around for midwives and literally like a home birth midwife, and the first woman I spoke to on the phone was this CPM who was super, super awesome.
• 6:27
  Speaker 2: We like instantly connected and we got on the phone and she was like listen, I only work with women who want to do like the deep spiritual work of pregnancy.
• 6:38
  Speaker 2: Like I'm not here to just like do your tests and stuff.
• 6:41
  Speaker 2: And I was like awesome, that's what I want.
• 6:43
  Speaker 2: Like I want our prenatal sessions to be about the sacred portal and the rite of passage of pregnancy and birth and I want to process through how like intense that is with a wise woman.
• 6:54
  Speaker 2: I don't really care about like the medical tests and stuff.
• 6:57
  Speaker 2: So she came over and did like a super long meeting with us, just as like a consultation, and I fell in love with her and Isaac and I had a conversation afterward just to like confirm if we wanted to do it.
• 7:13
  Speaker 2: And he actually he had like never heard of free birth or anything like that really before.
• 7:17
  Speaker 2: But he was like well, can't we just do it by ourselves?
• 7:23
  Speaker 2: Like if you're not going to do most of the tests during pregnancy anyways, and you want your midwife to be super hands-off, like what are we hiring her for?
• 7:33
  Speaker 2: Like you can just do it by yourself.
• 7:36
  Speaker 2: And I was still kind of in that.
• 7:38
  Speaker 2: I was still very much in like a semi-medicalized mindset of fear, of like I don't really know.
• 7:45
  Speaker 2: Like I I wasn't sure if I trusted that my body could do it.
• 7:50
  Speaker 2: So I liked having someone there, basically like for emergencies, because I wanted someone to save me in case of an emergency and I wasn't ready to take the full, radical responsibility of doing that myself.
• 8:02
  Speaker 2: Now I am, but I don't feel any real regret for the way I did it, especially because I went through this like really incredible 10 module course with my midwife that she created, all about learning how to heal childhood wounds through the wisdom of the five elements earth, water, air, fire and ether and really doing some like deep psycho-spiritual work through that coursework with her, alongside with Isaac, like he did the coursework too and we did special rituals for every element every month and like journal writing and stuff.
• 8:44
  Speaker 2: All this stuff like processing, getting ready to become parents and it truly I absolutely believe that that was like a core component to me, leaving behind this like fearful, medicalized persona and stepping into medicalized persona and stepping into my power so that by the time I was ready to birth like I probably could have I know for a fact that I could have done it without my midwife there and it was like minutes after the birth that I had that light bulb moment and I was like, oh, like Isaac was right, like I could have done this all by myself, like that was so that was so like easeful.
• 9:27
  Speaker 2: Obviously, birth is hard, but like or it was hard for me.
• 9:31
  Speaker 2: But I just remember feeling like, oh wow, like I didn't need anyone to save me, like I didn't need anyone to mother me or protect me from this dangerous thing that is birth like I'm so glad I had my midwife there as I was going through that transition.
• 9:51
  Speaker 2: But as soon as I birthed my baby, I like came out the other side and I think it's because of the like hardcore work, that like spiritual work that she did with me during pregnancy and I've yet to find another licensed midwife who's prioritizing that kind of work so I didn't do any of the like tests tests.
• 10:13
  Speaker 2: She did check my blood pressure a handful of times, but once she realized that like my standard is really low, she was like we're fine, we don't need to do this anymore.
• 10:22
  Speaker 2: I did get some ultrasounds and actually at 15 weeks I had like a freak out about whether my baby was alive or not and I like demanded an extra ultrasound just because I was like having a mental breakdown and wanted to see that my baby was alive, which now I look back on as like so ridiculous because my baby literally could have died, walking from the ultrasound back into my car in the parking lot and like there's no real reassurance there.
• 10:53
  Speaker 2: You know, I just like had no coping mechanisms for my own fear at that point.
• 10:59
  Speaker 2: So I did get a total of three ultrasounds.
• 11:02
  Speaker 2: I think my last one was the anatomy scan at 20, some odd weeks.
• 11:06
  Speaker 2: And then I got like a blood test for nutritional paneling because I was vegan at the beginning of my pregnancy and my midwife was like really trying hard to get me to eat animal fats and like heme iron.
• 11:20
  Speaker 2: So we did a blood test to show me that I was severely malnourished as a vegan and that helped a lot, kind of give me like something on paper to help change my diet.
• 11:33
  Speaker 2: And I changed my diet within a few months.
• 11:35
  Speaker 2: I was like accelerating my iron and all of those things like really quickly.
• 11:41
  Speaker 2: So, yeah, very basic.
• 11:43
  Speaker 2: But I didn't do the glucose screening for gestational diabetes.
• 11:49
  Speaker 2: I didn't do any other like blood tests for that.
• 11:52
  Speaker 2: I didn't do the group B strep swab at the end.
• 11:57
  Speaker 2: I didn't do any like internal exams during pregnancy whatsoever.
• 12:02
  Speaker 1: Really like nothing invasive at all, except the ultrasounds which were I didn't realize how invasive they were at the time- Now will you share about the final few weeks and then days leading up to when your labor started and about your birth?
• 12:18
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so my birth story kind of starts like in the weeks leading up to it, because I birthed at almost 42 weeks, which of course when you have a licensed midwife, starts to become a risky situation because you run the risk of them being forced to transfer you to a hospital even if nothing is medically wrong medically wrong.
• 12:47
  Speaker 2: So once we got past the 40 week mark it was kind of like this clock started ticking of, like okay, I have two weeks to give birth and if I don't, then like I don't get my home birth, even if I'm fine to give birth at home because of her regulations and the state laws for that and everything which I still didn't like fully understand.
• 13:02
  Speaker 2: And I had and basically like decided in my head that if I got fully to 42 weeks that I would just like fire my midwife at the last minute and just do it at home and then call her as a friend if I was having an emergency.
• 13:21
  Speaker 2: But luckily we didn't have to get to that point.
• 13:24
  Speaker 2: So my parents from Hawaii were in town and they were not super stoked on the idea of a home birth and there was a lot of tension going on like unspoken, passive tension going on between us because of that and just the craziness of the situation, like they had only met my partner one time and barely knew him and felt like I barely knew him at that point.
• 13:54
  Speaker 2: And so there was a lot, a lot of like unspoken wounding going on, a lot of like mother wound stuff that I had to work through in those last few weeks, and it culminated in one like really peak, intense moment with my family where I like officially uninvited them to my birth because previously, like, we had been planning to have my whole family in the house with me while I was birthing, which now I look back on it's just like a crazy idea, like why would I want that many people in my, in my birth space.
• 14:28
  Speaker 2: But at the time I was like, oh, I want my mom and my stepdad and my sister there and whatever.
• 14:33
  Speaker 2: So that obviously created like a huge rift in us and they actually flew home to Hawaii and I could feel my body like holding out and kind of waiting in tension until they left, because the day that they finally got on the plane to leave the state my waters broke.
• 14:59
  Speaker 2: So I had been.
• 15:03
  Speaker 2: A few days prior I had tried using castor oil, which, for anyone listening, I absolutely do not recommend.
• 15:11
  Speaker 2: It's not even necessarily safe, but you know, above all, that it's just completely not enjoyable and it's completely, completely, not ever, ever, ever necessary.
• 15:21
  Speaker 2: So don't do it.
• 15:23
  Speaker 2: You like violent diarrhea until the elimination contractions start, causing uterine contractions as like a at home induction method?
• 15:37
  Speaker 2: Bad idea, don't do it.
• 15:38
  Speaker 2: So I did that and it kind of started working and then fully didn't work, so that I went like five days after that and then my parents left and then I woke up at 4am on Valentine's Day and Isaac and I we both woke up at like 4, 4.30am so he could get ready for work and I just kind of felt like really jittery and really awake and like excited for some reason, and I just kind of was like rolling on the yoga ball, like letting my hips I don't know like loosen up.
• 16:13
  Speaker 2: I had no idea that I was like entering into the birth portal, right.
• 16:17
  Speaker 2: I was just like Ooh, like yoga ball feels nice, and I just was kind of like relaxing on my couch, like texting my friends and fully feeling finally like very relaxed and at peace, because my family wasn't there, unfortunately, like I had to have that to feel relaxed and I was totally home alone.
• 16:40
  Speaker 2: No one was there.
• 16:41
  Speaker 2: Isaac was at work and at like 9 am I think it was at like 9 20 I stood up from the couch because I felt like I had to go pee and as I stood up, just like this huge gush, like like in the movies, like the big, fully soaking I was wearing a big fluffy bathrobe, soaked right through it like there was so much fluid, and I walked all the way to the bathroom and leaked fluid the whole way.
• 17:08
  Speaker 2: There sat on the toilet, leaked more fluid and then I went back to the couch and that happened like three more times.
• 17:15
  Speaker 2: So I went back and forth to the toilet a bunch of times because I kept leaking more fluid and I was like, oh, I didn't realize like it happens it doesn't happen all at once, you know.
• 17:26
  Speaker 2: So eventually I just stood in the shower and was like I'm just gonna let it all come out and I told Isaac and I told my midwife and then I called Isaac's mom and asked her to come and bring me some food because she was in town.
• 17:43
  Speaker 2: Um, she lived right near us.
• 17:45
  Speaker 2: So she went and brought me some scones, which were super yummy, and came over and chatted for a little bit and I pretty much immediately, like as my water broke, started having some like crampy type contraction feelings, but I wouldn't even call them contractions, like they were just very light surges of little tiny feelings of pain that kind of wrapped around my back and it was like borderline pleasurable, you know, because it was so light.
• 18:18
  Speaker 2: But I was also so happy that I was finally giving birth, that it it actually felt good and it didn't.
• 18:25
  Speaker 2: I was going about my day completely normally for quite a few hours like that, chatted with Isaac's mom and grandmom for a little bit.
• 18:34
  Speaker 2: They came over and then when they left I like listened to music and like turned on the radio and cooked myself some breakfast and just kind of danced around the house by myself, even though it was the middle of February, we had just had a huge snowstorm.
• 18:53
  Speaker 2: It was really bright and sunny, felt so good and I was just having like a blast.
• 18:58
  Speaker 2: I was having so much fun.
• 18:59
  Speaker 2: There was no like time pressure on anything anymore.
• 19:02
  Speaker 2: I felt completely free, like that was my time to just be in the moment with birth.
• 19:09
  Speaker 2: And the contraction started getting like closer together and a little bit more intense, but never that so much that I couldn't like enjoy myself and have a smile on my face.
• 19:20
  Speaker 2: So I kind of cleaned up the space and like lit some of my candles and things like that.
• 19:25
  Speaker 2: And at a certain point it started getting more intense, to the point where I did want a little bit of like pain relief on my back.
• 19:35
  Speaker 2: So I got into the shower and just like let the hot water run on my back and at this point it was probably like one in the afternoon or so and I was texting Isaac the whole time because he was set to work until 7pm that night.
• 19:52
  Speaker 2: He was working like an all day long double shift and I was telling him what was going on for me and he was like I think I should come home.
• 20:00
  Speaker 2: And I was like no, like it could go on like this for days.
• 20:03
  Speaker 2: It really like I have no expectation that this is gonna to all of a sudden shift and like many first time moms have multiple day labors.
• 20:13
  Speaker 2: It's completely normal.
• 20:14
  Speaker 2: So like don't rush home, expecting that I'm going to have a baby in a couple hours.
• 20:19
  Speaker 2: And he was like no, I'm going to come home.
• 20:21
  Speaker 2: So he came, he started heading home and I just talked.
• 20:25
  Speaker 2: I just like had the phone on speaker and let him kind of talk to me about his day as a little bit of like distraction from the contractions.
• 20:35
  Speaker 2: While I was in the shower I was on my hands and knees letting the water go on my back and I was just kind of swaying and he was talking with me and he I started feeling like more, more conscious and specific of like my preferences for everything.
• 20:53
  Speaker 2: I started really tuning into what I wanted and what I needed in a very clear way, which, looking back, is actually really cool.
• 21:01
  Speaker 2: Like so many women describe that in labor as like oh, I just got really bitchy and demanding, but like what's really happening is that you're getting in tune with your truth, your needs.
• 21:11
  Speaker 2: So Isaac was asking me like what I wanted for lunch.
• 21:14
  Speaker 2: So he was going to stop at the store and I was like, well, I want something cold, but not like this and not a salad.
• 21:25
  Speaker 2: And I want something fresh and like really nourishing, but it it has to be cold, it can't be hot and like can't be a dessert food, like maybe some fruit and like some cold meat or whatever.
• 21:36
  Speaker 2: And I don't even remember what he brought me but I like took one bite of it and I was like nope, that wasn't it.
• 21:44
  Speaker 2: So he got home and like pretty instantly like kicked into gear in terms of really getting the space ready.
• 21:52
  Speaker 2: We already had like a birth pool set up and stuff.
• 21:55
  Speaker 2: We set our birth pool up at like 38 weeks so we literally had a birth pool in our house for a month, like in our living room.
• 22:02
  Speaker 2: But he started like lighting sage and cleansing the space and lighting candles and turning on like my Christmas lights and stuff like that.
• 22:12
  Speaker 2: And I had little affirmations hung up on the wall like total like first time mom home birth vibes, just like really wanted to feel beautiful.
• 22:21
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and he he took care of our dogs.
• 22:24
  Speaker 2: One of our dogs was like really dying, really at the end of his life at that time, which was kind of special for us to both be in these like big portals together.
• 22:34
  Speaker 2: So Isaac took care of the dogs and cooked some food and we just kind of like were in it.
• 22:40
  Speaker 2: I was I don't remember a whole lot about this time because my contractions at that point I think they were closer to like three or four minutes apart and they stayed that close for a long time Like my body did a lot of hard work at the beginning and then kind of sat in this space for a long time, but again, like I didn't have vaginal exams, so I don't know how many centimeters dilated I was or whatever, and I didn't really track my contractions either.
• 23:07
  Speaker 2: I just at one point I was like looking at a little clock on my phone and realizing that they were close.
• 23:14
  Speaker 2: So we did that for a while, just kind of laughing and talking and cracking jokes and whatever.
• 23:21
  Speaker 2: And then Isaac asked me if I wanted to play a video game with him, like on the Xbox, which we had played together a bunch, and it was like super fun and silly, just like lighthearted childhood stuff for us, and I kind of was like I don't know, now it doesn't really seem like the right time.
• 23:42
  Speaker 2: And he was like, oh, come on.
• 23:43
  Speaker 2: Like it seems like you're doing fine and we're having fun, so like let's just do something to like distract us and and pass the time.
• 23:49
  Speaker 2: And I was like, okay.
• 23:51
  Speaker 2: So he turned on the television and turned on the xbox and like as soon as a screen was on and I I felt like I could literally feel the radiation coming off the screen and into my body and it actually like hit me and I was like, oh fuck, that like turn that off, like I can't have that kind of technology in my space.
• 24:16
  Speaker 2: And it like it like threw me into a huge contraction and I was leaning over the back of the couch and I like got thrown forward and was in this big contraction.
• 24:26
  Speaker 2: That actually quite hurt.
• 24:28
  Speaker 2: And I just looked at Isaac and I was like turn it off, like we're not playing games right now.
• 24:34
  Speaker 2: So from that point on things got a little more serious and I, I called, I had Isaac call the midwife.
• 24:42
  Speaker 2: Not long after that, I think, she got there at like four, 3.30 or 4 pm and she was really insistent on the phone, phone like are you sure Naya wants me to come?
• 24:54
  Speaker 2: And I was.
• 24:55
  Speaker 2: And I was like yes, I do.
• 24:56
  Speaker 2: Um, so that was nice.
• 24:58
  Speaker 2: She was like not rushing to get over there by any means.
• 25:01
  Speaker 2: And she got there and at that point I was like naked, with just my robe on, like I didn't want any clothes on, and I was rolling on the ground on a yoga ball, like leaning over it, and still like in a good mood, still kind of laughing and talking in between contractions, but nothing.
• 25:20
  Speaker 2: You know, it was getting my zone of consciousness getting smaller and smaller and closer and closer to myself, because I was having to focus more and more during the contractions.
• 25:31
  Speaker 2: So she got there.
• 25:34
  Speaker 2: I didn't even really notice she got there, she just started setting up her essential oils, things like that, and I was at this point moving around different positions around the house and we had music playing and stuff and I I think she used a Doppler to check the heartbeat a handful of times, but I really don't remember because I was just like so focused in on myself and everything was obviously fine.
• 25:59
  Speaker 2: And then I started entering into transition, which now I know is transition, but at the time I thought like this just got really hard.
• 26:07
  Speaker 2: So I was on the couch and I was like on my back on the couch, leaning back, because my back was hurting so bad.
• 26:19
  Speaker 2: I felt like I needed to rest it.
• 26:20
  Speaker 2: But then, as soon as the contraction would start, it would like force me to go forward, but I couldn't get all the way up and forward onto my hands and knees in time.
• 26:32
  Speaker 2: So what I would do was, in between contractions, I'd lay on my back and then, when I felt the contraction starting, I'd flip sideways off the couch on my hands and knees and then, as soon as it ended, I would flip back onto the couch, onto my back.
• 26:48
  Speaker 2: So I did a bunch of this flip flopping like a fish out of water, like one arm off the couch, one leg off the couch, just like truly writhing around like an animal.
• 26:58
  Speaker 2: That I was in the most, most pain and discomfort of my life during that moment.
• 27:02
  Speaker 2: And I asked them to get the birth pool ready for me and they got it ready.
• 27:07
  Speaker 2: So I got in the birth pool and that was like pretty instant relief, like truly liquid epidural felt really good.
• 27:16
  Speaker 2: So I labored in the pool for a while and then got out of the pool a couple of times and just kind of got in and out of the pool and played around with that.
• 27:24
  Speaker 2: But things were definitely like calming down.
• 27:28
  Speaker 2: And at some point I got back in the pool and just like leaned up against the back of the pool and closed my eyes and pretty much like fully fell asleep for I think like an hour and a half, like two hours, and I could still feel that I was having contractions, like my body was having surges.
• 27:51
  Speaker 2: But it wasn't.
• 27:54
  Speaker 2: They weren't painful at all, it was completely a hundred percent painless and I was like dreaming, fully asleep, dreaming, yeah, that was really beautiful, and my dreams were like super psychedelic and weird and I don't remember any of them, I just remember they were like crazy and beautiful and psychedelic and super like prophetic type dreams.
• 28:16
  Speaker 2: And then I just kind of like shot awake at one sensation after all of that, like deep meditative time, and felt like it was time to push.
• 28:28
  Speaker 2: I didn't really feel an urge to push, I just had a voice in my head say like it's time to push.
• 28:34
  Speaker 2: So that was interesting because I was like I don't know if my body is actually pushing, but at that point it must've been like 8.30 PM or so and it was dark out.
• 28:47
  Speaker 2: Like when I opened my eyes it was dark and I was like, oh, okay.
• 28:51
  Speaker 2: So I felt like I wanted to get out of the pool.
• 28:54
  Speaker 2: I got out of the pool, didn't make it very far.
• 28:59
  Speaker 2: My midwife asked if she could do a vaginal exam and I agreed.
• 29:03
  Speaker 2: It's probably the one thing I regret about my birth was agreeing to that.
• 29:07
  Speaker 2: It was very uncomfortable, especially after having been in such a like autonomous, peaceful, like easy place for so long in the birth, like for my whole birth up until that moment, all of a sudden, like having someone's fingers inside me, felt like not great, but also I didn't know, because I'd never had a vaginal exam before, so really like had no idea that it was going to be like that.
• 29:31
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so that was like it kind of like zapped me out of that deep meditative zone a little bit and I started like after that I started trying to bear down and it wasn't really working.
• 29:44
  Speaker 2: Um, like nothing.
• 29:46
  Speaker 2: I didn't feel like anything was happening.
• 29:47
  Speaker 2: I'm sure things were happening.
• 29:50
  Speaker 2: And my midwife suggested that we go to the bathroom and I was like no, I really don't want to go to the bathroom, I don't want to give birth to my baby in the bathroom.
• 29:57
  Speaker 2: And she was like, well, some women really benefit from sitting on the toilet because it's like what you're used to pushing things out on.
• 30:05
  Speaker 2: And I was like, oh, okay, we walked.
• 30:09
  Speaker 2: I walked with a lot of assistants, had a couple of contractions that I had to stop halfway there, and then I got to the toilet and someone sat me down on the toilet and then they both left the bathroom and I was completely alone and I was like where did you guys go?
• 30:24
  Speaker 2: Like why are you leaving me alone.
• 30:26
  Speaker 2: But looking back, I'm glad they did that, because I had like two really big contractions on that toilet that like completely brought my baby down and I put my own hand just like barely on the outside of my yoni and I could feel my baby's head.
• 30:42
  Speaker 2: I was like, oh shit, like she's literally crowning right now.
• 30:46
  Speaker 2: I had no idea.
• 30:47
  Speaker 2: So I just called for Isaac and I was like Isaac, she's coming, and he like gracefully slid like a fluffy blanket on the floor as I guess Rachel pulled me up off the toilet and I kind of like just plopped down onto my hands and knees and that's where I stayed.
• 31:04
  Speaker 2: So I just kind of got.
• 31:07
  Speaker 2: I was in like a modified child's position, child's pose, with my butt up in the air and my head down on my hands, like this, so it wasn't fully hands and knees and I pushed for maybe like 20 minutes.
• 31:21
  Speaker 2: That time on the floor was really when I felt like the I guess you could say the fetal ejection reflex, because like I was not in control of that, like there was.
• 31:33
  Speaker 2: There were some moments where I really added to it with my own pushing because I felt like that's what I wanted and needed to do, but there was no stopping like those pushing contractions.
• 31:47
  Speaker 2: And I really remember myself like roaring and I look over and my midwife's on one side and Isaac is on the other, and they both were like a few feet away, giving me some space and just like being quiet and gently, encouraging me.
• 32:02
  Speaker 2: And then, when the head came out, I heard my midwife give Isaac a few like instructions to like catch the baby, and so Isaac put his hands just under, ready to catch, and she really like slid out super easily.
• 32:20
  Speaker 2: Like you know, obviously, I felt like the ring of fire when her head came out, but there was like the ring of fire.
• 32:27
  Speaker 2: Really wasn't that like painful or uncomfortable for me at all.
• 32:30
  Speaker 2: It was like, again, borderline, pleasurable, because I could feel my body releasing her.
• 32:36
  Speaker 2: So she slid out into Isaac's hands and I like, instead of waiting for him to pass her under my legs to me, I like lifted one leg up and like flipped over the umbilical cord backwards and leaned up against the bathtub, because I like, instantly, as soon as she was out of my body, I was like she needs to be on me, like I just held her and she didn't cry and I didn't cry.
• 33:16
  Speaker 2: We just kind of like I held her and looked at her and brought her close to me and just looked down at her little eyes, like opening up, and we just kind of gazed at each other and she made these little sweet noises like she was totally fine and happy.
• 33:32
  Speaker 2: But she didn't give that big new baby cry, you know, and yeah, it was beautiful.
• 33:37
  Speaker 2: Like I looked up at Isaac and he kind of had almost tears in his eyes and my midwife was saying, like you did it and it was really nice and my placenta was like basically already sitting right there in my yoni.
• 33:56
  Speaker 2: So my midwife was like your placenta's right there and ready, like do you want to birth your placenta?
• 34:02
  Speaker 2: And so I just coughed and she kind of used her hands to like guide it out into a bowl and super easy, like barely felt that at all.
• 34:12
  Speaker 2: Um, I didn't.
• 34:13
  Speaker 2: I know a lot of women, even in home births, received like Pitocin after birth to help get the placenta out and like prevent hemorrhaging.
• 34:20
  Speaker 2: Um, I didn't have any of that.
• 34:23
  Speaker 2: It was completely unnecessary.
• 34:24
  Speaker 2: I had my baby on me, I was at peace, I was undisturbed and my placenta truly just like split out with a couple coughs.
• 34:32
  Speaker 2: So yeah, at that point it was like 9 pm.
• 34:37
  Speaker 2: So my labor was exactly from 9 am to 9 pm, 12 hours.
• 34:42
  Speaker 2: Just took a whole day and it was perfect.
• 34:46
  Speaker 2: I absolutely loved that timeline.
• 34:50
  Speaker 2: I wouldn't have wanted it to be any quicker, really, and I wouldn't have wanted it to be any longer.
• 34:55
  Speaker 2: It was just beautiful.
• 34:57
  Speaker 2: We eventually got up and made our way over to one of the couches where we kind of cozied up for a while and tried to breastfeed.
• 35:05
  Speaker 2: She actually didn't latch really right away breastfeed.
• 35:06
  Speaker 2: She actually didn't latch really right away.
• 35:09
  Speaker 2: I struggled to figure that out.
• 35:11
  Speaker 2: So we got upstairs and can't believe I walked upstairs.
• 35:16
  Speaker 2: We should have set up a bed downstairs.
• 35:17
  Speaker 2: But I walked upstairs and got into bed and went to sleep with her.
• 35:34
  Speaker 2: She was right on Isaac's chest at that point because I needed some space to just rest and she woke up and we had our first really successful breastfeeding session like in the middle of the night when she woke up after.
• 35:43
  Speaker 2: So, but we basically got like a full night's sleep, woke up the next morning and was like oh, I've got a baby here, like figured out the breastfeeding, breastfeeding thing literally like overnight.
• 35:56
  Speaker 2: So we were able to like wake up the next morning, have it be a new day have her breastfeed and it just like everything felt like completely normal, like she had always been there, and I just laid in bed and looked at her like all day.
• 36:13
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, it was pretty incredible, pretty pretty beautiful experience and and the the knowledge and the feeling of serious power that I felt after that birth because I really did it like on my own that led me to so many other major life decisions afterward that allowed me to step into my power in other areas of life you know that completely, completely transformed my life and that that birth is the reason why I was able to like quit my job and start my own business and become a birth worker.
• 36:51
  Speaker 2: And and everything I've done since then has been initially inspired by the like total freedom and empowerment that that birth ignited within me.
• 37:03
  Speaker 2: That I really don't think would have been possible if I had been in an environment even in my home, with a more hands-on midwife that had like managed me, you know, and like made sure I was safe, because that whole notion of being managed or being like watched over and ensured your safety by somebody else, it takes the responsibility and the power away from you and thus like some of the pride, you know, when it's all said and done, like really being able to say like I did that like and I didn't need anybody there, in fact, like I really didn't even need the people there that were there.
• 37:51
  Speaker 2: You know, like looking forward to this next birth, I told Isaac, like if you don't want to be like right there at the birth, like you don't have to be like you could.
• 38:03
  Speaker 2: If you want to be outside with a, really I like working on the yard or something and I just like give birth by myself in the house, like that's fine, like I just don't feel this need or pressure to like make it anything.
• 38:20
  Speaker 2: You know, it just feels really like normal and natural and very integrated and like birth is really simple and it's just going to happen.
• 38:29
  Speaker 2: You know, I feel very confident in that this time around because of that first birth it sounds like Isaac had a lot of good instincts he really does like with everything.
• 38:42
  Speaker 2: He's so connected to his intuition and it's like a huge reason why we have been a successful couple and why we've been a successful like parenting unit, because both of us have worked really hard to listen to our intuition and to listen to our faith.
• 38:58
  Speaker 2: You know, above, like anything else really, um, and that has led us to so many big, important decisions.
• 39:10
  Speaker 2: You know, like like giving birth autonomously and and empowered, and this time, choosing like an unassisted pregnancy and an unassisted birth and just it feels, yeah, everything we do is like very guided by intuition all right.
• 39:29
  Speaker 1: So how did your postpartum time with Aurelia go?
• 39:32
  Speaker 2: postpartum was a completely different story, very challenging, mostly because I put truly zero effort into understanding or learning effort into understanding or learning anything about postpartum at all during that pregnancy, because I was so focused on the birth, kind of from a place of fear of like I need to make sure that the birth goes okay.
• 39:58
  Speaker 2: You know that I just like had no space, time or energy to think about postpartum and I had absolutely no idea what it would be like.
• 40:08
  Speaker 2: I was in a lot of pain in like my perineum and in my yoni, just like a lot of pain, I think, probably because I was like trying too hard to push and I just like breastfeeding.
• 40:26
  Speaker 2: We did have some challenges.
• 40:27
  Speaker 2: I'm fairly certain Aurelia has an undiagnosed lip tie that is resolving itself with time.
• 40:33
  Speaker 2: But you know, early postpartum that makes things hard.
• 40:36
  Speaker 2: So I had like really painful breastfeeding stuff like cracked, bloody nipples, like huge blisters on my nipples, like crying, really crying every single time.
• 40:48
  Speaker 2: She latched on for like over a month because it hurt so bad and my body was like the muscles and everything were in pain for like many weeks, not just like the first few days, and I bled post birth for like at least three weeks.
• 41:07
  Speaker 2: I know lots of women only bleed for like three to three to 10 days.
• 41:12
  Speaker 2: I bled for like at least three weeks and so it was just like everything took a really long time to heal and I was in a lot of pain and a lot of discomfort and our dog was dying, who required a lot, a lot of like hands on dog was dying, who required a lot, a lot of like hands-on care.
• 41:27
  Speaker 2: He couldn't walk, he was having accidents all the time.
• 41:31
  Speaker 2: Um, so there were all these like circumstantial things that were going on.
• 41:34
  Speaker 2: Plus I was still navigating the huge, huge emotional separation from my parents that like now they were in hawai.
• 41:45
  Speaker 2: So over text, we're literally trying to like mend this huge argument that we had and it was just there was like so much stress, stress and tension and everything in the air.
• 41:58
  Speaker 2: Um, and on top of that, because I didn't know anything about postpartum cause I didn't educate myself at all on like the reality of what postpartum would be like Isaac and I never really had a clear conversation about like him staying home from work.
• 42:13
  Speaker 2: So day one postpartum like that first day after me giving birth happened to be his one day off, so he was there for that day, but then he just went back to work like normal, so he didn't actually take like a single sick day or anything like that, because we just didn't know that I would need that.
• 42:37
  Speaker 2: So very basic things like day two postpartum I was like completely home alone and just like getting up three times a day for my own meals and like cooking a meal, or like even just heating up a meal that someone had pre-prepared for me.
• 42:54
  Speaker 2: Or like getting up multiple times to use the bathroom and then getting up to change the baby's diaper every time because I didn't have like a diaper changing setup right where I was resting, so I had to like get up and carry the baby to the changing table and like all that stuff.
• 43:12
  Speaker 2: And then like getting the dogs outside to take care of the dogs and it was winter.
• 43:18
  Speaker 2: So you know, just like everything, I did like nothing right in terms of setting myself up for success in postpartum and I went a long time in victimhood saying like oh, just postpartum in general is like so hard and so awful and like people should have showed up for me more and whatever, and all this like victimhood mentality.
• 43:42
  Speaker 2: And I look back and I'm like I created that, like I didn't do any research.
• 43:49
  Speaker 2: I didn't learn anything about what my body would be going through or about like pelvic floor physiology or breastfeeding or any of that.
• 43:58
  Speaker 2: I just like completely set myself up for failure and then after a few weeks, when I realized how hard it was, I didn't ask for help.
• 44:09
  Speaker 2: I like felt super weird and blocked about like asking people for help.
• 44:14
  Speaker 2: So I really like that postpartum was a huge, confronting time for me to learn what it really means to be a motherhood, which is like we have to be educated about our own bodies.
• 44:31
  Speaker 2: We have to be educated about what is optimal for our babies and for our bodies.
• 44:38
  Speaker 2: And like getting up and walking around the house and preparing food for yourself on day two.
• 44:43
  Speaker 2: Postpartum is not optimal and can set you up for a lot of pelvic floor problems down the line, and I do believe that I had some undiagnosed pelvic floor problems because of how I treated myself in postpartum.
• 44:56
  Speaker 2: That lasted for like at least a year, just like things like incontinence and like really challenging issues during sex for a long time.
• 45:08
  Speaker 2: And, yeah, just like pain and weird discomfort in my yoni for like a year after birth, which is common actually a lot of women experience that.
• 45:21
  Speaker 2: But it's not normal, like we're not supposed to be broken and battered after birth, especially after an undisturbed birth where like no one was messing with me.
• 45:32
  Speaker 2: I really did that to myself in postpartum.
• 45:35
  Speaker 2: So I think that I a little bit kind of upper limited myself, Like I just couldn't handle how incredible and expansive the powerful feelings of the birth were.
• 45:48
  Speaker 2: So I a little bit self-sabotaged my own postpartum after that to bring myself back down to where I was comfortable, you know.
• 45:56
  Speaker 2: But that all kind of started fading and shifting at like month three or four and things started feeling a little more normal, like for many women it does just pass with time.
• 46:06
  Speaker 2: But that is one thing that I am doing very differently this time around.
• 46:11
  Speaker 2: I'm like absolutely I've set not just like planning for postpartum, but I have set my whole life up like my normal day-to-day life in a way that like I can transition in and out of pregnancy, birth and postpartum and like these phases of the childbearing years with ease because of the way my life is set up now, like I don't have, don't have to like apply for maternity leave or paternity leave for Isaac or anything like that.
• 46:47
  Speaker 2: I just can, like we can just kind of flow with our life and he'll be here to take care of me.
• 46:55
  Speaker 1: So you're a radical birth keeper.
• 46:57
  Speaker 1: Can you share a little bit more about your work and the services that you offer, and the services that you offer.
• 47:05
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so, like I said, after I gave birth I felt like a really strong calling to create my own business and also, you know, share this, share this feeling of empowerment with other people.
• 47:26
  Speaker 2: And I got involved with Emily Saldea from the Free Birth Society and I took her Radical Birth Keeper School, which is a authentic, unlicensed midwifery program to teach women how to truly attend births in integrity, completely non-medically, as like unlicensed, non-medical professionals.
• 47:46
  Speaker 2: So I took that program.
• 47:49
  Speaker 2: I did attend a couple hospital births in the area when Aurelia was maybe like six months old or so, and I was just like nope, not doing that again.
• 48:02
  Speaker 2: Like the stark difference between like what I got to experience as a healthy mother versus what other healthy mothers had to go through in the hospital, supposedly for their safety, was absolutely like appalling to me and and honestly, like quite traumatizing for me even in like these, these like very natural hospital births.
• 48:27
  Speaker 2: So I quickly got out of that environment and took the radical birthkeeper school and within like a few weeks of me really opening my heart up to doing this kind of underground birth work, I got contacted by someone I was leading these village prenatals, which are like women's circles for supporting pregnant women and and empowering pregnant women as they move closer toward their birth ceremony.
• 48:54
  Speaker 2: And I was reached out to by a woman in that circle who was, I think she was like 40 years old, so she's already high risk, right, and she had tested positive for group B strep and she was like she had like checked all these boxes that the hospital doesn't like for high risk people or whatever, and she was just so tired of the way they were treating her.
• 49:21
  Speaker 2: So she like fired her OB at like 38 weeks and called me and was like, will you be at my birth?
• 49:27
  Speaker 2: So 10 days later I showed up at her home and witnessed her give birth completely unassisted, at home, with no medical providers or midwives or anything there, and it was incredible and that like started me on a path of creating this, this business which at the time was called Shakti Rise Healing, and I've shifted now into wildlife wellness because I've realized that I want to work not just within the motherhood continuum but with people of all phases of life in terms of supporting people in getting to radical responsibility for their own health and wellness, like radical responsibility in pregnancy and in birth and in postpartum, but also in parenthood in general in you know, pre parenthood, in menopausal times of life and all of it.
• 50:27
  Speaker 2: And I've been a yoga teacher for almost, yeah, seven or eight years now and that has kind of folded beautifully into this business where I'm doing a lot of like deeply healing yoga for people and then I'm taking care of women in this authentic, non-medical way throughout their whole pregnancy Women who are truly having wild, unassisted pregnancies and witnessing births completely outside of the system and providing really loving, nourishing postpartum care for people in their home, which is like a huge heart service for me because of how hard I know postpartum can be.
• 51:10
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and then I started folding in a lot of online coaching because I realized I wanted to reach more people outside of just Maine.
• 51:19
  Speaker 2: So I also offer a few different coaching packages specifically around like pregnancy and birth education outside of the system, so women who are curious about what like diy prenatal care can look like.
• 51:38
  Speaker 2: Women who are curious about optimal nourishment for pregnancy when you're not whether you're in the medical system or not, but how to take care of yourself optimally in pregnancy without the guidance of a doctor, so that you truly are setting yourself up for an uncomplicated birth.
• 51:58
  Speaker 2: And then I also lead one-on-one courses and coaching through radical birth education, which is teaching the physiological truths about birth and all of the research and all of the history and all of the biology about how birth really works and what is required for a truly physiological, uncomplicated, easeful birth, which, as many of you know, the primary requirements is being undisturbed, being left alone, being at peace in a comfortable environment, a familiar environment like your home, and not being touched or talked to or poked or prodded or any of that stuff.
• 52:48
  Speaker 2: So you know, through that course I've I've helped women really uncover and understand not just like that empowered birth at home is actually biologically optimal for safety, but that it's most women's deep desire.
• 53:08
  Speaker 2: And that desire is often covered up by a lot of fear and a lot of programming from our society and a lot of misinformation about the reality of birth and the risks of birth and a lot of like media programming about what birth is like and stuff to the point where some women don't even believe that they can do it without an epidural because they just don't believe that their body was meant to handle birth, which is, which is wild, because it is the one thing that every single person was born to be able to handle.
• 53:44
  Speaker 2: You know, it is truly our biological, evolutionary necessity that we that we handle it.
• 53:51
  Speaker 2: So my coaching tends to be a combination of of the more research, science based education about birth, and then also the psycho-emotional, spiritual work of supporting and guiding people through their fears and back home to what their dream birth actually really is.
• 54:11
  Speaker 2: Yeah, we offer a lot of different kind of things in wildlife wellness.
• 54:16
  Speaker 2: Isaac is also in the process of being folded into the business as a nutritional therapist, which is really exciting, because nutrition and how we nourish ourselves, how we take care of our bodies, is a huge part of having a successful pregnancy, birth, postpartum, breastfeeding, fertility, anything to do with like motherhood in general.
• 54:39
  Speaker 2: So having him and his knowledge as a budding nutritional therapist is really really incredible for that.
• 54:47
  Speaker 2: But really like at the core, we are all about people truly taking sovereign, radical responsibility for their lives and living in this more ancestral way of like eating right for your body, moving your body right, keeping your body healthy, birthing your babies healthily and living in power with what your destined path, what your you know biology is is meant to do, including like career and business paths and wellness as well, because you know your work is your life, and being able to truly, to truly be empowered and radically responsible in your work is just as important as in your fitness, your diet, your pregnancy, your birth.
• 55:46
  Speaker 2: You know all of this stuff, so that really is like the core of of all our offerings.
• 55:53
  Speaker 1: Great, so what's the best way for people to get ahold of you?
• 55:56
  Speaker 2: Yeah, primarily on Instagram at wildlife wellness, which is W O I L D L A F E wellness it's W-O-I-L-D-L-A-F-E wellness or on our website, wildlifewellnesscom, and both Isaac and I are on those platforms so you can DM us, you can email us or contact us through the website.
• 56:17
  Speaker 2: See all our different offerings there for all the different radical phases of life.
• 56:24
  Speaker 2: And, yeah, reach out to us.
• 56:27
  Speaker 2: We do.
• 56:27
  Speaker 2: We have offerings for people truly all around the world as well as in-person offerings for people right here in Maine.
• 56:36
  Speaker 2: For the in-person offerings we only serve really down East Maine, like in and around the Ellsworth area.
• 56:44
  Speaker 2: So, yeah, but we're always open to working with people virtually for just about anything.
• 56:50
  Speaker 1: All right, well, I will link all of your information in this show notes so people can find you, and thank you so much, naya, for sharing your birth story today.
• 56:59
  Speaker 2: Oh, thank you so much, angela, and thank you again for the lovely family photo shoot of all of us.
• 57:04
  Speaker 2: We happened to get engaged the next day after that photo shoot, so those have become our engagement photos and, yeah, we love those photos so much.
• 57:15
  Speaker 2: We treasure them and send them to everybody for Christmas.
• 57:19
  Speaker 2: So I'm really happy that you're doing that.
• 57:22
  Speaker 2: You're doing birth photography as well.
• 57:23
  Speaker 2: That's such a hugely important part of processing birth for people.
• 57:29
  Speaker 2: So, thank you.
• 57:30
  Speaker 1: Oh, I love that.
• 57:31
  Speaker 1: Congratulations on your engagement and I hope you enjoy a happy, healthy rest of your pregnancy.
• 57:36
  Speaker 1: Bye Naya, thanks, and that's the end of another episode of the my Main Birth podcast.
• 57:45
  Speaker 1: Thank you for joining me and listening.
• 57:47
  Speaker 1: If you're looking to document your birth story or if you're interested in doula support for your upcoming birth, head over to my website, mymainbirthcom and check out my packages.
• 58:01
  Speaker 1: I'm a certified professional birth photographer and an experienced doula, and I offer in-person services to families throughout the state of Maine, as well as virtual birth coaching worldwide.
• 58:13
  Speaker 1: I want to invite you to grab my top free resource for newly pregnant moms.
• 58:19
  Speaker 1: It's called 37 Questions to Ask your Care Provider Whether you've already established care or if you're in the process of interviewing new providers.
• 58:28
  Speaker 1: This is for you.
• 58:29
  Speaker 1: Not only are you going to get the questions to ask, but I also share how to assess their answers and the major red flags that you should be looking for.
• 58:39
  Speaker 1: So go, grab that.
• 58:41
  Speaker 1: It's at mymainbirthcom slash download.
• 58:45
  Speaker 1: Thank you again for tuning in and I look forward to bringing you more amazing birth stories.
• 58:52
  Speaker 1: Don't forget to subscribe and leave me a review, and I'll see you back here again next week.