Latest / The Tom & Gerry Show Podcast / Episode 120: Off-Center Cam
Transcript
- 0:00Speaker 1: Hello folks, it's Fred here. I was just listening to
- 0:04Speaker 1: the Tom and Jerry show talking about Japanese iron workers
- 0:08Speaker 1: having ceremonies for their favourite tools and machinery, and I
- 0:12Speaker 1: told they it brought a tear to my eye, I
- 0:15Speaker 1: must say. And I thought to myself of some of
- 0:18Speaker 1: the tools I've had down through the years, like this
- 0:22Speaker 1: one chisel I had for 40 years, until eventually I
- 0:26Speaker 1: did it that many times it disappeared into naught. Just
- 0:30Speaker 1: returned into atoms and blew away in the breeze. I
- 0:34Speaker 1: had to rip the rest of the bloomin' chimney down
- 0:37Speaker 1: with me bare hands. I mean, a deadline is a
- 0:40Speaker 1: deadline after all. Anyways, I'll see you.
- 0:48Speaker 2: There.
- 0:56Speaker 3: Come, I'll tell you one thing now. will ruin your day.
- 1:00Speaker 3: Did you ever have your dog be mad at you?
- 1:02Speaker 4: She takes a fucking notion every so often, our dog.
- 1:05Speaker 4: And she does this thing where she'll... She'll put on
- 1:07Speaker 4: a limp, our fucking dog. She'll put on a fucking limp.
- 1:11Speaker 4: As if to say, look how fucking sick I am, like.
- 1:14Speaker 3: Yeah. My fella's down here now and he's looking at
- 1:16Speaker 3: me up through... Up from under his eyes, like this
- 1:19Speaker 3: sort of thing. Like, you done terrible wrong. And I
- 1:21Speaker 3: don't know what I did terrible wrong for that dog.
- 1:24Speaker 4: Yeah, I... Maybe I don't pick up on.
- 1:28Speaker 4: I, I, my dog, to be fair, she thinks, if
- 1:33Speaker 4: she could get a tattoo of me, she would. Right.
- 1:36Speaker 4: She thinks I'm that class.
- 1:37Speaker 3: You're the alpha.
- 1:39Speaker 4: Every time, like I go out the door for 30
- 1:41Speaker 4: seconds and come back in, she's like, fucking class.
- 1:42Speaker 3: Yeah, Jesus Christ, where's Kim? That's my dog normally as well.
- 1:46Speaker 4: What's, I don't know.
- 1:47Speaker 3: I don't know, Tom, but I'll tell you, your life
- 1:49Speaker 3: will be going all right. And then you turn around
- 1:51Speaker 3: and the fucking dog's mad at you.
- 1:52Speaker 4: Well, I tell you, at least only my outer body
- 1:55Speaker 4: is fucking mad at you. Right now, my, uh, If
- 1:59Speaker 4: you could smell me through the fucking screen right now,
- 2:01Speaker 4: I smell like wintergreen and diphen mixed together. There is
- 2:07Speaker 4: so much me. The sacred blends. The sacred blends. I
- 2:11Speaker 4: went out concrete. I sent you a picture on Saturday. Yes.
- 2:13Speaker 4: It's what my Saturday looks like. And a ton of
- 2:17Speaker 4: gravel and sand and 10 bags of cement. And there
- 2:21Speaker 4: we are. It was a great notion in my head.
- 2:23Speaker 4: Got it done out of brute ignorance. Could have stopped.
- 2:26Speaker 4: Could have stopped it.
- 2:27Speaker 3: But.
- 2:28Speaker 4: Didn't, Ger. Didn't. Ploughed on because of one of our
- 2:34Speaker 4: favourite words, fucking ignorance.
- 2:36Speaker 3: Pure ignorance.
- 2:37Speaker 4: And then when you start concrete, you can't stop. There's
- 2:42Speaker 4: no like, I'll finish it off later. It's not a cake.
- 2:45Speaker 3: It's not cake.
- 2:46Speaker 4: No.
- 2:46Speaker 3: You can't put it in the fridge and come back
- 2:48Speaker 3: to it.
- 2:48Speaker 4: So when you find yourself quite literally hobbling over and
- 2:52Speaker 4: back with barrels of concrete and then you sit yourself
- 2:55Speaker 4: into the old fucking wagon driving home and you're like,
- 2:57Speaker 4: that was a terrible mistake. And then a kid stayed
- 3:01Speaker 4: to buy his birthday party yesterday. Needless to say, I
- 3:04Speaker 4: was up to my fucking eyeballs in everything. I could
- 3:07Speaker 4: get on myself and in myself just to get, I was,
- 3:10Speaker 4: do you remember the wrestler?
- 3:12Speaker 3: Yeah, I was going to say, do you remember your
- 3:14Speaker 3: man in Dune, the fucking bad fella? Do you remember
- 3:17Speaker 3: he'd lower himself down to like a pool of flash?
- 3:19Speaker 3: That was you in the deep.
- 3:21Speaker 4: Quite literally me. Floating up out of a gun. We
- 3:25Speaker 4: need to hold on to the spice markets. My wife
- 3:29Speaker 4: was like, what spice markets?
- 3:31Speaker 3: I want a spice market for my dinner.
- 3:34Speaker 4: So that's where I am. And I'm just only coming
- 3:36Speaker 4: around now. And do you know what? There's still more
- 3:39Speaker 4: to be done.
- 3:40Speaker 3: Oh, there should never end.
- 3:42Speaker 4: The request has come in from another week. Another week
- 3:47Speaker 4: before I'll have recovered from that much. And then I
- 3:49Speaker 4: ain't ever doing it again.
- 3:51Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah.
- 3:52Speaker 4: Yeah, that's where I'm at.
- 3:54Speaker 3: Ladies and gentlemen, we air in our pints around here
- 3:56Speaker 3: on the Tom and Jerry show, which this is, by
- 3:58Speaker 3: the way. We should have probably said that up the top,
- 4:01Speaker 3: but I guess, you know, you didn't blindly stab at
- 4:05Speaker 3: the first podcast you saw and just say, fuck it,
- 4:07Speaker 3: let's roll. I'm assuming you clicked on our wonderful faces.
- 4:11Speaker 3: I am Jerry McBride. That is Tom O'Mahony. Comedians, be
- 4:15Speaker 3: they working, as in Tom's case, and lapsed in mine,
- 4:18Speaker 3: but we still put out a Tom and Jerry show podcast.
- 4:21Speaker 3: Every week for you fine folks, I don't see why
- 4:22Speaker 3: this week is any different Tom, even though you're muscularly
- 4:29Speaker 3: pained and I have a dog that's mad at me.
- 4:33Speaker 4: Listen, you know we were in top form last week,
- 4:35Speaker 4: we were up to our eyes on, I think we
- 4:36Speaker 4: were both on gear, were we last week?
- 4:38Speaker 3: We were indeed, if by gear you mean ibuprofen.
- 4:41Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- 4:42Speaker 3: Ibuprofen and Neutrogena hand cream, but look over here, let's
- 4:45Speaker 3: see if we can do battle this week, sound good
- 4:47Speaker 3: to you buddy?
- 4:47Speaker 4: Sounds good to me.
- 4:49Speaker 3: Fuck it, let's launch into the weekly what-have-you.
- 4:51Speaker 4: This is a very complicated case, Maude.
- 4:53Speaker 3: You know, a lot of ins, a lot of outs,
- 4:54Speaker 3: a lot of what-have-yous, and a lot of strands to
- 4:58Speaker 3: keep in my head, man.
- 4:59Speaker 4: Kanshasa! Do you know.
- 5:05Speaker 3: What does kanshasa mean?
- 5:06Speaker 4: Kanshasa!
- 5:08Speaker 3: Kanshasa!
- 5:08Speaker 4: It is exactly as you'd imagine, Joe.
- 5:13Speaker 3: It could be.
- 5:15Speaker 3: Japanese, that could be thank you, or prepare to die,
- 5:20Speaker 3: or annual figures are up. It could be literally anything, Tom.
- 5:24Speaker 3: What does it mean?
- 5:25Speaker 4: It could be, they've all got lovely bottoms, Gerry. They've
- 5:28Speaker 4: all indeed got lovely bottoms. It is a ceremony, a
- 5:32Speaker 4: Thanksgiving and farewell ceremony, when retiring old machinery. It's got
- 5:39Speaker 4: a specific thing. Now, this is something that, that happens
- 5:45Speaker 4: and there's a couple of different types of ceremonies but
- 5:47Speaker 4: the specific one to machinery and giving it thanks is
- 5:51Speaker 4: called Kanshasae.
- 5:53Speaker 3: And this happens enough in Japan for it to warrant
- 5:56Speaker 3: having a name.
- 5:57Speaker 4: In that it wouldn't it is in no way odd
- 6:00Speaker 4: now not every it was something that was brought to
- 6:03Speaker 4: our attention in that it popped up and I'm sure
- 6:06Speaker 4: if there was any Japanese people listening going yeah we've
- 6:09Speaker 4: been fucking doing that.
- 6:10Speaker 3: For years has that the weekly what have you.
- 6:13Speaker 4: It only comes from The Land of the Rising Sun
- 6:16Speaker 4: To us this week And it would seem When I
- 6:19Speaker 4: started digging into it It was like Oh this goes
- 6:21Speaker 4: on Oh this is a thing It isn't specific It
- 6:25Speaker 4: isn't a set specific thing That you have to do
- 6:27Speaker 4: But it is It comes from Shinto beliefs Because Shinto
- 6:31Speaker 4: would be a big thing You know It's a good
- 6:34Speaker 4: honest way of thinking Of things You don't have to
- 6:36Speaker 4: tell me about Shinto Tom You know Shinto well Tell
- 6:39Speaker 4: the listeners Essentially, it is the way is conducting yourself
- 6:43Speaker 4: fucking right. That's what the Shinto beliefs are. Conduct yourself
- 6:46Speaker 4: fucking right.
- 6:47Speaker 3: Keep Scientology working.
- 6:50Speaker 4: So. It influenced by the idea of Kami, meaning spiritual
- 6:55Speaker 4: essence exists in everyday objects and tools. So not saying
- 7:00Speaker 4: that fucking when we all go to bed that, you know,
- 7:02Speaker 4: Woody sits up and talks to the Makita drill. Right.
- 7:06Speaker 4: What they're saying is that there is an energy force
- 7:08Speaker 4: in everything that is of use to you, whether it
- 7:10Speaker 4: is a sweeping brush, you know, a drill, a lead
- 7:15Speaker 4: or whatever else. But also it's seen, it's good manners
- 7:18Speaker 4: to have respect for your labor. So it honors the
- 7:21Speaker 4: hard work that it went through with you. You know
- 7:23Speaker 4: what I mean? It's not that you had a relationship
- 7:24Speaker 4: with it. Like we talked about those kinky bastards before,
- 7:27Speaker 4: you know, sticking their flute up the exhaust of a,
- 7:29Speaker 4: you know, a 94 Honda.
- 7:30Speaker 3: Yes.
- 7:31Speaker 4: It's not that.
- 7:32Speaker 3: It ain't that. We only have one of those stories
- 7:34Speaker 3: a year, folks, and we've spent that money already. It's gone.
- 7:38Speaker 4: But if the machine, much like much Japanese machinery, if
- 7:43Speaker 4: the machine is a good bit of stuff and it
- 7:45Speaker 4: does its work, well then, fair play to it. When
- 7:49Speaker 4: it is being switched out, it's not just rolled out
- 7:51Speaker 4: into a heap of shit and scrapped. A little ceremony
- 7:55Speaker 4: just to say thanks very much to the machine. is
- 7:58Speaker 4: sent out the door. And the one that popped in
- 8:00Speaker 4: front of us.
- 8:01Speaker 3: Yeah, this is what I was going to say, because
- 8:02Speaker 3: you showed me this, and I said, that's a wonderful story,
- 8:04Speaker 3: let's cover it. I thought it was just this one
- 8:06Speaker 3: story in this one place. I didn't know there was
- 8:08Speaker 3: a whole thing.
- 8:09Speaker 4: No, no, it's a whole thing. Now, again, I said,
- 8:12Speaker 4: you don't have to do this if you have a
- 8:14Speaker 4: Japanese company, but if it's a company... Like, to give you...
- 8:19Speaker 4: The oldest company in the world is a carpentry company.
- 8:21Speaker 4: It's 532 years old in Japan, and it's still running today.
- 8:26Speaker 4: You know that kind of way?
- 8:27Speaker 3: Excellent, excellent.
- 8:28Speaker 4: So needless to say, they mind their fucking tools there.
- 8:30Speaker 3: Do you know what I mean?
- 8:32Speaker 4: And we often talk about it as just mind your gear.
- 8:35Speaker 4: And in this one, the one that I sent you,
- 8:38Speaker 4: a former factory manager, his job is to come in
- 8:42Speaker 4: every so often and perform the ceremonies. And 92-year-old lad
- 8:45Speaker 4: used to run the show. And it's a purification ceremony.
- 8:48Speaker 4: They put a little cloth on him. It's about time
- 8:50Speaker 4: they put a little cloth on him. Yeah, I know
- 8:53Speaker 4: he's ancient, but at the same time, you know what
- 8:55Speaker 4: Japanese people are like, that fella could hit the ton 10,
- 8:57Speaker 4: no fucking bother.
- 8:58Speaker 3: Yeah, handy.
- 8:58Speaker 4: And there was one, it seems like one of the
- 9:03Speaker 4: early doors, C & C lead. You know, you put
- 9:06Speaker 4: in the program, you put in your chunk of metal,
- 9:07Speaker 4: you close the two doors, and you monitor from the outside.
- 9:11Speaker 3: We had a small version of this at school.
- 9:13Speaker 4: Same as that. And that one was 30 years it
- 9:15Speaker 4: ran for. And the other one was 37 years. So
- 9:19Speaker 4: you could imagine how much money them Them two yokes.
- 9:22Speaker 4: And probably saw a good few workers pass through it.
- 9:25Speaker 4: And like that, they wheeled them out respectfully. And it's
- 9:28Speaker 4: a nice little cultural thing to wheel them out respectfully
- 9:31Speaker 4: out on trolleys. I don't know what tune they played.
- 9:34Speaker 4: I'd like to think it's... Something to that effect. And
- 9:39Speaker 4: then some shiny new, you know, new kid of a
- 9:42Speaker 4: thing where I don't know if there's a ceremony for
- 9:44Speaker 4: bringing in a new one or what the crack is.
- 9:48Speaker 4: There was no mention of that, but it would seem
- 9:50Speaker 4: that you can let a good bit of hit now
- 9:55Speaker 4: I'm not saying that's every vice gripster but a right
- 9:57Speaker 4: good yoke it would seem that you know i know
- 10:01Speaker 4: i know i know fellas that have big fucking time
- 10:03Speaker 4: on some of their yokes and they they go a.
- 10:06Speaker 3: Long way you'd be sorry to see it go i'll
- 10:08Speaker 3: tell you one thing tom here's what we'll do as
- 10:10Speaker 3: well for listeners we understand that this is a The
- 10:13Speaker 3: way we consume information has changed and they've started doing
- 10:16Speaker 3: this in TV as well. They know kind of like
- 10:19Speaker 3: you'll be on your phone and only sort of half
- 10:20Speaker 3: listening and half watching. So everything you watch on Netflix now,
- 10:23Speaker 3: you find people kind of stop every now and then
- 10:25Speaker 3: and just fucking spell it out for you because they
- 10:28Speaker 3: knew you were making tea and not paying attention. So
- 10:30Speaker 3: if anybody's like listening to this and sort of like
- 10:33Speaker 3: half listening and they're like, give it to me in
- 10:36Speaker 3: one line, lads. Yeah, in Japan, if your machine in
- 10:40Speaker 3: the factory has been there long enough, you don't just
- 10:41Speaker 3: fuck it out into a skip. They bring in like
- 10:43Speaker 3: a little machine priest to say a little machine prayer
- 10:46Speaker 3: and all the workers give it a little machine wave
- 10:49Speaker 3: and then they throw it out into the skip. Yeah.
- 10:52Speaker 3: Am I hearing you right on that?
- 10:53Speaker 4: That's 100% right.
- 10:55Speaker 3: It's a wonderful way of going on, Tom. And like
- 10:58Speaker 3: both you and I will say, you know, anybody I
- 11:03Speaker 3: think would have some version of this in their lives,
- 11:06Speaker 3: be it a car that you drove, And it did
- 11:08Speaker 3: you well. And mind you, there was a couple of
- 11:10Speaker 3: cars I drove, Tom, and I was only fucking delighted
- 11:13Speaker 3: to see them go. I had a very expensive ceremony
- 11:15Speaker 3: to get them taken away from me. But every now
- 11:19Speaker 3: and then you'd be like, I'm sorry to see that
- 11:20Speaker 3: car go. And I wish it well. I remember one time, Tom,
- 11:22Speaker 3: I sold a car. And then about a year later,
- 11:26Speaker 3: I seen it driving through the town. And I was delighted.
- 11:28Speaker 3: It was like seeing an old friend.
- 11:30Speaker 4: Yeah.
- 11:32Speaker 3: Someone that had keyed the... driven up against a bollard
- 11:36Speaker 3: or something and taken the side of it to you
- 11:37Speaker 3: at the same time. It's like, you bastards. What a
- 11:40Speaker 3: lovely week.
- 11:41Speaker 4: I sold a, the stupidest move, automotive move of my life.
- 11:46Speaker 4: I sold a crew cab, 94 crew cab, a Toyota Hilux.
- 11:52Speaker 4: And I saw it two years later and I swear
- 11:54Speaker 4: to God, it was like a fella had stolen your girlfriend. Yes,
- 11:56Speaker 4: you had let him. You know that kind of way?
- 11:58Speaker 4: You had one row and the next thing, she's with
- 12:01Speaker 4: a new guy and.
- 12:02Speaker 3: You're like, she'd look so happy with it baby come
- 12:04Speaker 3: back and the Japanese now they can say to yourself
- 12:07Speaker 3: they don't do it for every pair of ice grips
- 12:08Speaker 3: and nor should you we'd be a long time saying
- 12:12Speaker 3: goodbye to all of our tools but there's a wee
- 12:13Speaker 3: stubby screwdriver Tom that I've had for about 15 years
- 12:18Speaker 3: there's only about 6 or 8 screws in this whole
- 12:20Speaker 3: house that this thing didn't screw together yep and I
- 12:23Speaker 3: would I would hate to see that go I would
- 12:25Speaker 3: hate to I would hate to lose it although I'll
- 12:27Speaker 3: tell you it's getting stubbier by age do you know
- 12:29Speaker 3: what I mean Is.
- 12:30Speaker 4: There anything more so than, because this has been put
- 12:33Speaker 4: to us before about the tools that we love and
- 12:34Speaker 4: stuff like that, and if they went, obviously you still
- 12:37Speaker 4: love that. Was there anything that just got to the
- 12:39Speaker 4: end of its life? And it can be a game,
- 12:42Speaker 4: it can be anything at all, whether it was just
- 12:44Speaker 4: because this isn't purely down to a bit of machinery
- 12:47Speaker 4: that made money in the factory. This can be a
- 12:49Speaker 4: sweeping brush, like Trigger's old brush, you know, where it's
- 12:52Speaker 4: like 13 handles and 14 new heads. But is there
- 12:55Speaker 4: anything that you had to retire? And you're like.
- 12:59Speaker 3: Fair folks. I don't know about machinery, Tom, but there
- 13:02Speaker 3: was a couple of jumpers that eventually it was like,
- 13:05Speaker 3: you can't leave the house in that again.
- 13:07Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- 13:09Speaker 3: That jumper served me in awful wrong. You know, I
- 13:12Speaker 3: do appreciate that there's a sentimentality that gets attached to things,
- 13:17Speaker 3: in particular now, as it would be, a machine that
- 13:20Speaker 3: is the heart of the factory for all your lay
- 13:23Speaker 3: the needs in this ironworks in Japan industry. I don't
- 13:26Speaker 3: know what they make in Japan in this factory, Tom.
- 13:28Speaker 3: I mean, you're going to turn around and tell me
- 13:29Speaker 3: that they make, you know, ignition coils for Boeing rockets.
- 13:36Speaker 3: For being dropped on fucking babies.
- 13:39Speaker 4: They specialize in off-center cams for ladies vibrators, Ger. But
- 13:46Speaker 4: they only deal with the engineering and machinery side of things.
- 13:48Speaker 4: If anybody wants to know the principle behind anything that vibrates,
- 13:51Speaker 4: it's actually what's called an off-center cam.
- 13:52Speaker 3: It's an off-center cam.
- 13:53Speaker 4: No, they are. See, not a learning podcast, but you
- 13:56Speaker 4: just learned it there.
- 13:57Speaker 3: You just learned that, yeah.
- 13:58Speaker 4: It's a total fucking lie, Ger. I don't know what
- 14:00Speaker 4: they make fucking... Beer bottle caps. I don't know.
- 14:02Speaker 3: I have no idea what this crowd made. No.
- 14:04Speaker 4: Because they kept it as cagey as fuck. And you don't.
- 14:06Speaker 4: You know when you read the thing sometimes. With Japanese companies.
- 14:08Speaker 4: They're mad.
- 14:09Speaker 3: Like.
- 14:10Speaker 4: It could be the name of the place. It could
- 14:11Speaker 4: be the name of the fella. It could be the
- 14:13Speaker 4: name of the thing they're making. Or it could be.
- 14:15Speaker 4: You know. There's four words. That all sound.
- 14:18Speaker 3: To me like.
- 14:18Speaker 4: Written with English phonetics. But they all sound like. There's
- 14:22Speaker 4: one there. It's in the. I read one sentence. And it's.
- 14:26Speaker 4: They were calling it. A Roomba appreciation. At Kanda.
- 14:29Speaker 3: Myojin.
- 14:30Speaker 4: In Tokyo. Now I. Tokyo is the only fucking thing
- 14:32Speaker 4: that I recognise.
- 14:33Speaker 3: Oh yeah, that could be the name of the industrial estate.
- 14:35Speaker 4: That, this is it. This could be, you know, the
- 14:37Speaker 4: Robin Hood estate on, you know, Dublin 8. Like, I
- 14:39Speaker 4: don't know what it is. Like, there wasn't, there's an
- 14:42Speaker 4: iRobot one in Japan where they actually, the robots and everything,
- 14:48Speaker 4: they got to bow the whole, I mean, that's kind
- 14:51Speaker 4: of half taken, the piece is small.
- 14:52Speaker 3: No, that's it too.
- 14:53Speaker 4: You know, but at the same time, I was trying
- 14:55Speaker 4: to think the other day, and I'm very, I'm very,
- 14:57Speaker 4: I'm not saying I'm very un-materialistic, but, When I think
- 15:01Speaker 4: it's gone, it's gone. I'm all right. But sometimes, you know,
- 15:06Speaker 4: there could be a sentimentality.
- 15:07Speaker 3: I got to tell you now, the Japanese, they do
- 15:09Speaker 3: it well, Tom, now that they would. Here's the thing now.
- 15:12Speaker 3: This is an ironworks filled with ironworkers who would be,
- 15:19Speaker 3: you know, as these things go, hardy enough boys, you
- 15:23Speaker 3: know what I mean? And I would imagine they'd make
- 15:26Speaker 3: out that they wouldn't. have any sentimentality towards this machine
- 15:30Speaker 3: whatsoever but deep down in their hearts they absolutely would
- 15:33Speaker 3: and it's nice to say alright I know you're not
- 15:35Speaker 3: going to cry because the lathe has been taken out
- 15:38Speaker 3: of the shed but at the same time here's us
- 15:41Speaker 3: all coming together to say thank you to the lathe
- 15:44Speaker 3: and if anybody wanted to get emotional you're among friends
- 15:47Speaker 3: here and it's a very healthy manner of doing these things.
- 15:50Speaker 3: Not bad work, Japan.
- 15:52Speaker 4: I like.
- 15:52Speaker 3: If on the face of it it is, you are saying,
- 15:56Speaker 3: you're blessing a lead and saying good luck.
- 15:59Speaker 4: I mean, you did go to MS for your dog,
- 16:01Speaker 4: I'm just saying.
- 16:02Speaker 3: That thing might be coming back up around again. I
- 16:05Speaker 3: take that fucking dog to mass and he still gets
- 16:07Speaker 3: mad at me.
- 16:09Speaker 4: Yeah, because you asked him to put the money in
- 16:10Speaker 4: the basket.
- 16:10Speaker 3: Well, this is it too. I'll tell you one thing now.
- 16:13Speaker 3: I've just been saying, what would be the nearest thing
- 16:15Speaker 3: to this that I would... have experienced in my own
- 16:18Speaker 3: life back in the hardware days. I do remember like
- 16:20Speaker 3: we got rid of the old Dulux paint machine and
- 16:22Speaker 3: got a new one in. I didn't weep over that.
- 16:26Speaker 3: I hated that machine. It was mixing wrong paint. It
- 16:28Speaker 3: was a noisy bathroom. It was like a hur to
- 16:31Speaker 3: clean as well. But I do remember the time we
- 16:35Speaker 3: got a new forklift. Oh. And the old forklift that
- 16:39Speaker 3: you've been driving around on for like 10 years or
- 16:41Speaker 3: whatever like that. I was delighted to see a new
- 16:43Speaker 3: forklift come in Tom because it had side shift like
- 16:45Speaker 3: this was a game changer. Yeah of course. You know
- 16:48Speaker 3: and the old one was a big ignorant thing now
- 16:50Speaker 3: so it was. Nevertheless when the new forklift arrived and
- 16:54Speaker 3: the old forklift got winched up onto the back of
- 16:56Speaker 3: the lorry to drive off I was like I'm going
- 17:00Speaker 3: to miss that machine.
- 17:01Speaker 4: Yeah.
- 17:02Speaker 3: Sorry to see it go and I remember having one
- 17:04Speaker 3: last spin on it.
- 17:06Speaker 4: Like this is me just drinking a beer just doing
- 17:08Speaker 4: donuts in the air crying.
- 17:10Speaker 3: You know just lifting pallets up onto the top of
- 17:12Speaker 3: a shipping container you know I was like oh yeah
- 17:14Speaker 3: she's still got it nothing wrong with that machine but
- 17:17Speaker 3: I remember it being wheeled away and being I don't
- 17:20Speaker 3: know about sad but like feeling like something had changed.
- 17:25Speaker 4: And I wouldn't imagine the Japanese don't strike me as
- 17:28Speaker 4: the soppiest sort either but I think what they have
- 17:31Speaker 4: in Japan they have a very very very very very
- 17:34Speaker 4: old country with a lot of deep traditions so in
- 17:38Speaker 4: the same way that they can make a fucking super
- 17:40Speaker 4: AI robot in one industrial unit, next door, there could
- 17:45Speaker 4: be a fella there and his family could have been
- 17:47Speaker 4: there for nine generations.
- 17:48Speaker 3: Making off-center cams for him.
- 17:51Speaker 4: No, hand, you know, hand-forging fucking samurais or katanas.
- 17:55Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- 17:55Speaker 4: You know, so there's still, they still have that balance
- 17:58Speaker 4: where there, there was probably an appreciation, like, there's an
- 18:02Speaker 4: appreciation going way back to when fucking, they probably thought
- 18:06Speaker 4: swords had ghosts inside them. So there's probably as well,
- 18:08Speaker 4: you know, it's these things. I was trying to think,
- 18:10Speaker 4: and do you know what it was? I won't say
- 18:12Speaker 4: I was sad. I wasn't sad. But there was a
- 18:15Speaker 4: sentimentality in giving it away. I gave away, and I
- 18:19Speaker 4: gave it to my mother. And it was a Japanese,
- 18:22Speaker 4: it was a Makita drill.
- 18:24Speaker 3: Right. I gave her.
- 18:25Speaker 4: Fuck me, that thing did some work for me. But
- 18:27Speaker 4: it was time to move on. I needed to, I
- 18:30Speaker 4: needed more power. I needed impact and whatnot. And it
- 18:34Speaker 4: had done all I could do with it. But rather
- 18:36Speaker 4: than just being a hoarder and going, yeah, maybe I
- 18:38Speaker 4: knew that one day. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I knew I
- 18:41Speaker 4: had enough gear to... I wouldn't be calling on it.
- 18:43Speaker 4: It didn't have the juice. But there's plenty for an
- 18:45Speaker 4: old woman who needs to be putting up an old
- 18:47Speaker 4: shelf or fixing an old thing. And you know what?
- 18:49Speaker 4: She had huge appreciation for it. She was like.
- 18:52Speaker 3: Of course.
- 18:52Speaker 4: Oh, Jesus, this is a... Do you know? This is
- 18:55Speaker 4: a Makita. I went, you know what?
- 18:57Speaker 3: You have a whole new life.
- 18:58Speaker 4: You have a whole new life. But I do have
- 18:59Speaker 4: a Makita, and I talked about it, it's a jigsaw
- 19:03Speaker 4: that has... Do you know what? Tis older than A
- 19:07Speaker 4: lot Tis older than everything else I own And it's
- 19:09Speaker 4: still going And I tell you one thing I'd be
- 19:11Speaker 4: fair upset If that broke Or got faked Do you
- 19:13Speaker 4: know the kind of way I'd be like Oh that
- 19:15Speaker 4: hurts now.
- 19:16Speaker 3: That hurts If it came time to If it came
- 19:18Speaker 3: time to Do away with it Tom No I doubt
- 19:20Speaker 3: you'd just Take it down the skip And fuck it
- 19:21Speaker 3: in the big heap No I wouldn't I wouldn't Be
- 19:23Speaker 3: some wee bit of reverence to it I think I.
- 19:25Speaker 4: Don't think That'd even get fucked out I think I
- 19:27Speaker 4: would put it away Until I found The right sort
- 19:29Speaker 4: of person Who could Maybe break it down for parts
- 19:32Speaker 4: Or find something out You know what I mean There'd
- 19:34Speaker 4: be no good fucking that into the skip like you
- 19:36Speaker 4: know what I mean I just couldn't I couldn't do.
- 19:38Speaker 3: It there's give us the name of the ceremony one
- 19:41Speaker 3: more time Tom.
- 19:42Speaker 4: And we'll push on from this there's two so there's
- 19:44Speaker 4: the general one which is called Roomba that's for all
- 19:48Speaker 4: appreciation of all two and everything right but the one
- 19:52Speaker 4: specific to retiring old machines that has served served the
- 19:58Speaker 4: place for decades.
- 19:59Speaker 3: Is called Kinshasa Kinshasa well Kinshasa Kinshasa to you all
- 20:05Speaker 3: there folks if you are if you are we talked
- 20:08Speaker 3: a couple of weeks ago about disposable culture and throwing
- 20:11Speaker 3: things out and how we don't agree with it try
- 20:12Speaker 3: and fix the thing if at all you can but
- 20:14Speaker 3: if you are going to throw it out give it
- 20:16Speaker 3: an elk in Cheshire give it a moment of a
- 20:18Speaker 3: moment of thanks for being your trusted friend on this
- 20:22Speaker 3: journey that off-center cam machine that you that you enjoy yourself.
- 20:29Speaker 4: I could have used one with that fucking concrete at
- 20:30Speaker 4: the weekend.
- 20:32Speaker 3: Well listen okay let's get away from those lads Tom
- 20:35Speaker 3: and move on with the rest of the show the
- 20:36Speaker 3: second segment of the show you know what it is
- 20:38Speaker 3: folks Some of these days I'm going to put this
- 20:40Speaker 3: at the end just to mix things up, but not
- 20:41Speaker 3: this week. Let's talk about this lad. Now there's that guy.
- 20:47Speaker 3: This lad is a bit of a wrong'em, Tom.
- 20:49Speaker 4: I don't like him and I never liked him, no
- 20:51Speaker 4: matter which.
- 20:52Speaker 3: Couldn't warm to him.
- 20:53Speaker 4: He was, he, he, he was, he's been loved on
- 20:56Speaker 4: both sides of political, whatever you think he's, at different
- 21:01Speaker 4: points in his life, much like, you know, Volkswagen. It's, it's,
- 21:05Speaker 4: do you know what I mean? It's, no, but you know, like,
- 21:08Speaker 4: He was lauded much... Do you know what? He reminds
- 21:11Speaker 4: me of the Musk because both of them have been
- 21:14Speaker 4: loved by both sides and have been championed by both
- 21:17Speaker 4: sides at different times in their careers. I'm like, they
- 21:20Speaker 4: were the same Tramptice from beginning to end. A money
- 21:22Speaker 4: grub and a bastard.
- 21:24Speaker 3: Yeah. I don't know about love, but I will give him...
- 21:28Speaker 3: People were impressed by his abilities and intrigue by his skills.
- 21:31Speaker 3: We are talking, folks, about Mark Zuckerberg. Mark Zuckerberg is
- 21:36Speaker 3: this week's This Lad what has he done to suddenly
- 21:40Speaker 3: throw himself in front of Tom and Jerry that they
- 21:42Speaker 3: will talk about him, as you'll find coming up, ladies
- 21:45Speaker 3: and gentlemen, in unfriendly terms. He has bought a castle
- 21:49Speaker 3: in Ireland. Just fucking walked in and bought a castle, Tom.
- 21:55Speaker 3: I didn't know that was a thing that could happen,
- 21:57Speaker 3: but here we are. You just walk in and you
- 22:00Speaker 3: buy a.
- 22:00Speaker 4: I wonder if you see certain places that would be
- 22:04Speaker 4: under OPW umbrella. yes you ain't touching that you know
- 22:08Speaker 4: what I mean you ain't rocking up to you.
- 22:12Speaker 3: Just can't walk in and buy Aris Nukedaron.
- 22:15Speaker 4: Well you can't walk in and say buy Blarney Castle
- 22:17Speaker 4: or you can't buy Care Castle or the Rock of
- 22:20Speaker 4: Cashel you can't go hi I've got millions you can't
- 22:23Speaker 4: the OPW haven't go go fuck yourself but Waterford Castle
- 22:28Speaker 4: was and I've known there was a we're not going
- 22:32Speaker 4: to get into it I tell you on this podcast
- 22:34Speaker 4: because we could be in trouble But I have known
- 22:37Speaker 4: of one of the owners of that in the past.
- 22:41Speaker 4: And he was able to buy it. So it was
- 22:43Speaker 4: a private residence. As far as I know. I haven't
- 22:45Speaker 4: dug into it. More so I dug into him. Into
- 22:48Speaker 4: Zuckerberg buying it and stuff like that. I'm guessing money
- 22:51Speaker 4: has changed hands. But it seems to be. And honestly.
- 22:54Speaker 3: It's a little off the books. I mean to say.
- 22:57Speaker 3: As best as I can understand it. And I've only bought.
- 22:59Speaker 3: You know. Very few properties in my time Tom. Including
- 23:02Speaker 3: the house I'm in at the minute. But this wasn't listed.
- 23:05Speaker 3: They said it was the exact phrase that they use here.
- 23:08Speaker 3: It was an off-market deal valued between $ 23 and $ 35 million.
- 23:13Speaker 3: I mean, like, why are you fucking narrow it down, lads?
- 23:15Speaker 3: What's a $ 12 million spread between friends? It was an
- 23:18Speaker 3: off-market deal, so it wasn't like it was listed. He
- 23:21Speaker 3: didn't go on Daft. He didn't go on Daft and
- 23:25Speaker 3: slide the slider all the way to the right. Just
- 23:27Speaker 3: the dearest thing you have for me there. So this
- 23:29Speaker 3: was a sort of a, I can only imagine in
- 23:32Speaker 3: the world of the super rich as the Mark Zuckerbergs
- 23:35Speaker 3: of this world, the tech bros of this world, they
- 23:38Speaker 3: can just turn around and go, I want a castle
- 23:39Speaker 3: in Ireland. Go off and see. Just come back with
- 23:43Speaker 3: me with options, please. Yeah, of course they do.
- 23:44Speaker 4: You do, and you ring around. You ring Sherry's Fitzgerald
- 23:46Speaker 4: and you ring the usual haunts and go, can you
- 23:49Speaker 4: chap on the door down there? Where are the private
- 23:50Speaker 4: castles that we can buy around the place? And there's
- 23:52Speaker 4: a few, like there's one in the place and they
- 23:54Speaker 4: all seem to be owned by foreigners, wealthy foreigners, but
- 23:57Speaker 4: it is what it is. There's a beautiful one in
- 24:00Speaker 4: Kilsheelan in a small little village in Tipperary. And it's
- 24:04Speaker 4: an Austrian. But he's so, he's been here, he's an
- 24:07Speaker 4: artist and he's been here that long. He's very good
- 24:09Speaker 4: for the community and stuff like that. He knew how to.
- 24:11Speaker 3: An Austrian artist that's been here for generations.
- 24:14Speaker 4: No, not generations, Gerard.
- 24:15Speaker 3: No, no, no, no. Oh no, just about 40 or
- 24:17Speaker 3: 50 years. About 40 or 50 years. Yeah, there or thereabouts. Tom,
- 24:21Speaker 3: come here to me. Here's the thing, here's the thing
- 24:23Speaker 3: with castles.
- 24:24Speaker 4: Yeah.
- 24:25Speaker 3: Sometimes they'd be castles and sometimes they don't. Sometimes you'll
- 24:29Speaker 3: hear that a place is a castle and upon investigation,
- 24:32Speaker 3: it's really just like a big manor.
- 24:34Speaker 4: Manor house. Yeah, we have one up near here.
- 24:36Speaker 3: Yeah, it looks like Downton Abbey, for example. And you're like, well,
- 24:39Speaker 3: I guess it's a big house, but it's not a castle.
- 24:42Speaker 3: This place is a fucking castle.
- 24:44Speaker 4: It's a straight up castle and it backs onto a
- 24:45Speaker 4: big golf course and everything. It's got lakes and stuff.
- 24:48Speaker 4: It's stunning. And it got refurbished a couple of decades ago,
- 24:52Speaker 4: as far as I remember. And there's like, I don't know,
- 24:53Speaker 4: it's out on its own little island and everything. It's fantastic.
- 24:56Speaker 3: I'm looking at it here. It's on the coast of
- 24:58Speaker 3: the river Blackwater. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's actually not
- 25:02Speaker 3: for nothing. It's up the road from another castle called
- 25:04Speaker 3: Bally Phillip Castle. I'm looking at it on Google Maps here.
- 25:06Speaker 4: And if you go further up that Blackwater, there's one
- 25:10Speaker 4: owned by... Is he the Duke of something or other?
- 25:13Speaker 4: He's still in possession of it.
- 25:17Speaker 3: He's the Duke of Dog Shite.
- 25:20Speaker 4: And he has been in the news recently for raising...
- 25:24Speaker 4: land rental prices on his tenant farmers and he's going
- 25:29Speaker 4: to make it untenable for them to actually make any
- 25:32Speaker 4: money with the kind of money this prick wants for
- 25:34Speaker 4: his fucking what's the name of it anybody people are
- 25:38Speaker 4: shouting at me here now but he's it's probably as
- 25:41Speaker 4: well that I don't don't doubt me he's got enough
- 25:43Speaker 4: but he's loaded this guy but he's a Brit that
- 25:46Speaker 4: married a Catholic one I believe and kept his head
- 25:49Speaker 4: below the parapet keeps the town quite nice but at
- 25:51Speaker 4: the same time you're like How the fuck did you
- 25:54Speaker 4: dodge the draft? If you know by draft, I mean
- 25:57Speaker 4: fucking backdraft.
- 25:59Speaker 3: You know, so Zuckerberg is, you know, apparently this is
- 26:05Speaker 3: a thing.
- 26:05Speaker 4: He's a new Trevelyan is what I'm trying to say.
- 26:07Speaker 3: The new Trevelyan just came along and said, I want
- 26:09Speaker 3: a castle. Fuck any history belonging to it. I want
- 26:11Speaker 3: that one. And ever he was sold it. And I suppose, Tom,
- 26:15Speaker 3: that's just the way the world turns. It is the
- 26:17Speaker 3: way the world. If someone comes with money and wants
- 26:19Speaker 3: to buy a thing. And as you say yourself, it's
- 26:22Speaker 3: not a listed building or anything like that. So it's
- 26:24Speaker 3: not like he's buying, you know, the Cliffs of Moher
- 26:27Speaker 3: or anything like that. Yet. Yet.
- 26:29Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- 26:31Speaker 3: But it's unseemly. And we at the Tom and Jerry
- 26:35Speaker 3: Show wanted to have a little talk about... I'm not
- 26:41Speaker 3: saying we're not going to welcome him into the community.
- 26:45Speaker 3: But there was a way this shit used to go down, Tom.
- 26:47Speaker 4: He's got some fucking work to do. I'll tell you
- 26:49Speaker 4: that much. I don't give one fuck about Meta or
- 26:52Speaker 4: whatever other shite and his little lizard eyes that he
- 26:54Speaker 4: has in court. Yes, little lizard eyes. He needs this,
- 26:57Speaker 4: you know, he needs this shit now. If he's just buying, like,
- 27:01Speaker 4: I'm guessing he's not going to open in a fucking
- 27:03Speaker 4: wedding venue, you know what I mean? Or, you know,
- 27:05Speaker 4: for communions and stuff at the weekend. I'm guessing he
- 27:07Speaker 4: wants to live here part time. Now, I'm sure there's
- 27:11Speaker 4: some tax evading shit going on.
- 27:13Speaker 3: Oh, there does.
- 27:14Speaker 4: You know what I mean? Well, you know, he probably
- 27:16Speaker 4: worked out if you buy a castle and watch him
- 27:18Speaker 4: call it and actually put it under your business name
- 27:19Speaker 4: and run everything through a business, you'd actually be able to,
- 27:22Speaker 4: like he's probably going to funnel a load of his
- 27:24Speaker 4: Facebook money through it so that he gets that sweet,
- 27:28Speaker 4: sweet fucking government deal that Facebook have here. Let's be honest.
- 27:32Speaker 4: You know, that's probably what they're all planning on doing.
- 27:34Speaker 3: They ain't here for the supermax, Tom.
- 27:36Speaker 4: And if you start looking, I'm getting... Farms are going
- 27:38Speaker 4: to start getting bought up around here as well.
- 27:39Speaker 3: Like, just.
- 27:40Speaker 4: What the fuck? What do you mean Mark Wahlberg owns fucking... 2,000
- 27:45Speaker 4: fucking acres in Cashel.
- 27:46Speaker 3: What's that about? Mark Wahlberg is super.
- 27:49Speaker 4: I just love the farm. I just fucking love the farm.
- 27:52Speaker 3: Mark Wahlberg is, like, super Catholic. Like, he is.
- 27:54Speaker 4: He is, yeah. He loves and I'll pray. He loves praying.
- 27:57Speaker 3: If he's going to buy anywhere, he's going to buy
- 27:58Speaker 3: knock wholesale... Oh.
- 28:00Speaker 4: No, he'd fit in around here. We've a load of
- 28:02Speaker 4: old holy churches and a load of yokes from here.
- 28:04Speaker 4: He could buy a holy cross above there and put
- 28:05Speaker 4: a roof on it. It'd be lovely.
- 28:06Speaker 3: It'd be lovely. He does.
- 28:08Speaker 4: There's certain things that if Zuckey is going moving to Ireland,
- 28:14Speaker 4: if it is a thing he's going to do and figure,
- 28:16Speaker 4: you know what, I better revert to, I was going
- 28:19Speaker 4: to say, to the motherland. He definitely, definitely doesn't derive
- 28:22Speaker 4: from here.
- 28:23Speaker 3: No, not about that.
- 28:25Speaker 4: But there's a few things that wouldn't do any harm
- 28:27Speaker 4: for a little pamphlet to be put into his hand
- 28:29Speaker 4: With a few etiquette and carry on. Much like the
- 28:33Speaker 4: lads in Japan wouldn't be frightened of telling him, Hi,
- 28:36Speaker 4: you'll be fucking praying to your machinery when we send
- 28:38Speaker 4: it out the door. Same way here in Ireland. It'd
- 28:40Speaker 4: be no harm at all if this fella learns a
- 28:42Speaker 4: few fucking manners before he goes moving to the Dacia.
- 28:45Speaker 3: Yes.
- 28:46Speaker 4: A couple of them that I was thinking about. First
- 28:49Speaker 4: things first. Don't even fucking bring the bags up the stairs.
- 28:54Speaker 4: Go down the pub. I don't want to hear this.
- 28:57Speaker 4: You know, I just don't drink anymore. You know, drinking
- 29:01Speaker 4: me fuck that. You get down to the pub, you bastard.
- 29:04Speaker 4: And bust out a big wallet of cash. Now, I
- 29:06Speaker 4: didn't check books, credit cards. Bust out a big wallet
- 29:09Speaker 4: of cash. And fucking buy a full night of drinking
- 29:13Speaker 4: for everybody in the pub.
- 29:14Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 29:14Speaker 4: That full night. None of this. Who wants a glass
- 29:17Speaker 4: of Guinness?
- 29:17Speaker 3: Fuck off.
- 29:19Speaker 4: Bust out the fucking, the green ones. And start buying
- 29:22Speaker 4: pints left, right, august centre for everybody. And that... initially
- 29:27Speaker 4: that'll be an initial good start anyway.
- 29:30Speaker 3: I mean you know I'm not saying we're easily bought
- 29:33Speaker 3: as a nation but a round of drink goes a
- 29:36Speaker 3: long way Tom of.
- 29:37Speaker 4: Course it does and keep it coming keep it fucking
- 29:39Speaker 4: coming Like, just keep a tab behind. Just open up the... Michal,
- 29:43Speaker 4: open up the fucking... Open up the fucking.
- 29:46Speaker 3: Young Zuckerberg here now says that we all want pints
- 29:49Speaker 3: and bacon fries.
- 29:50Speaker 4: Yeah, bacon fries. No scampi fries. I don't mind. Bacon fries,
- 29:56Speaker 4: as much as you want. Pink snacks and bacon fries.
- 29:58Speaker 4: And as many pints as you want. Bust it out.
- 30:01Speaker 4: Don't be fucking scrimping out. This will be your first
- 30:04Speaker 4: night down. Get langers with the lads. Learn a few
- 30:06Speaker 4: rebel songs. Learn how to pronounce people's names. I don't
- 30:09Speaker 4: want to hear no Mikael. I know it's fucking Michal.
- 30:13Speaker 4: It's Michal behind there.
- 30:14Speaker 3: It's not hard.
- 30:15Speaker 4: How do I say Tadge? Am I saying that? It's
- 30:17Speaker 4: fucking Tadhg.
- 30:18Speaker 3: Céamháin.
- 30:19Speaker 4: Yeah.
- 30:20Speaker 3: Kevin. Right.
- 30:21Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- 30:22Speaker 4: So you need to start ingratiating yourself from the get-go
- 30:25Speaker 4: because there's one thing Irish people have and that's a
- 30:28Speaker 4: fucking gripe. They can hold a grudge for a long
- 30:32Speaker 4: fucking time, I can tell you. And we have a
- 30:34Speaker 4: history of shifting landlords out of the place with what
- 30:39Speaker 4: the great late Chopper Reid would describe as petrol and
- 30:43Speaker 4: plenty of it. So I'm just saying.
- 30:46Speaker 3: Through fair means and foul. Here's the thing. We've methods
- 30:50Speaker 3: of getting landlords out of places. We have a long
- 30:52Speaker 3: history of it. But we've also a long history, Tom,
- 30:56Speaker 3: of bringing in the cavalry. The cavalry being the wee folk.
- 31:02Speaker 4: Well, this is it.
- 31:03Speaker 3: To plague a house and to bring misfortune down upon it.
- 31:07Speaker 3: We covered it long ago on the Tom and Jerry show.
- 31:10Speaker 3: The various pishogs that one can bring down upon a
- 31:13Speaker 3: landowner to curse his land so that he will never
- 31:17Speaker 3: get 5G reception on it. And eventually, to what ultimate end, Tom?
- 31:22Speaker 3: That he gets fed up and fucks off and sells
- 31:24Speaker 3: the castle at a loss.
- 31:25Speaker 4: I mean, it makes for a great Hallmark movie.
- 31:28Speaker 3: You know what I mean? It's literally like a Disney movie.
- 31:32Speaker 3: It's like an evil billionaire buys a castle and the
- 31:35Speaker 3: local kids foil his wicked schemes. Yes, exactly. So the
- 31:40Speaker 3: local kids are like, if I remember my pisho's correctly, Tom,
- 31:43Speaker 3: they're like tying cloth to dead birds and throwing them
- 31:45Speaker 3: over the walls. What was it?
- 31:47Speaker 4: There was a couple of rotten egg ones as well.
- 31:49Speaker 3: Rotten egg ones as well.
- 31:50Speaker 4: And the worst one of the lot, if you find
- 31:54Speaker 4: a bundle of sticks tied together with a ribbon. Yes.
- 31:58Speaker 4: you like that's it from the get-go but he needs
- 32:01Speaker 4: to he needs to understand that ingratiating himself with the
- 32:05Speaker 4: locals buying the player saying things like loves me county
- 32:11Speaker 4: you know what i mean you need to like no
- 32:12Speaker 4: harm to maybe even lean into a bit of a
- 32:14Speaker 4: waterford accent you know what i mean by you know
- 32:16Speaker 4: as he's like he's he's talking about facebook by facebook Facebook, bye.
- 32:22Speaker 3: All me dealings down in Waterford, I can't do a
- 32:24Speaker 3: Waterford accent.
- 32:25Speaker 4: Listen, I'm not a million miles from it. I lived
- 32:27Speaker 4: there briefly for a while while working down there, and
- 32:30Speaker 4: it's an accent. And I tell you, you may as
- 32:32Speaker 4: well get into it with them. They're an unparalleled, shall
- 32:38Speaker 4: we say, humble folk. Don't matter if you're loaded or
- 32:42Speaker 4: not in Waterford. They all go, well, bye.
- 32:45Speaker 3: How are you?
- 32:46Speaker 4: And women... women will gladly go, how are you, girl?
- 32:50Speaker 4: And it could be talking to a woman 102 years
- 32:52Speaker 4: of age. So, you know what I mean? Get on it.
- 32:56Speaker 4: There are certain things like May Eve, I don't know
- 32:59Speaker 4: when he's planning on getting in there, but if he's
- 33:03Speaker 4: in there prior to May Eve, remember we talked about
- 33:06Speaker 4: May Eve before? It's a dangerous, dangerous time the night
- 33:11Speaker 4: before May kicks in. We're in springtime because if he
- 33:15Speaker 4: hasn't gotten himself Bit of holy water. I know this
- 33:18Speaker 4: probably isn't his origins or whatever, but I'm saying he
- 33:20Speaker 4: better get on board because the house's origins are based
- 33:23Speaker 4: in Ireland. He better get himself a good bit of
- 33:26Speaker 4: a blessing around the place. And I think a bit
- 33:28Speaker 4: of holy water.
- 33:29Speaker 3: I think... Yeah, you know, all this, Tom, is like
- 33:32Speaker 3: if we want the man to sort of ingratiate himself
- 33:34Speaker 3: into the community and have a good time. I'm thinking
- 33:37Speaker 3: that if we want him to fuck back off to
- 33:39Speaker 3: Silicon Valley, I swear to God, there's handy ways we
- 33:42Speaker 3: can do this.
- 33:43Speaker 4: Just....
- 33:45Speaker 3: The best thing you can do for someone like this
- 33:48Speaker 3: is give them bad advice. Yeah. And let them do
- 33:51Speaker 3: it to themselves. Someone wants to rock up to them going,
- 33:53Speaker 3: how are you keeping Mark? Just lovely to have you
- 33:56Speaker 3: in the community. Glad you're settled in. Lovely bit of property,
- 34:00Speaker 3: isn't it? But do you know what would be better?
- 34:02Speaker 3: Do you know what would improve your view? If you
- 34:04Speaker 3: just went over and chopped down that lone bush over there.
- 34:07Speaker 3: Here's a saw. You go on. And I can't. My
- 34:10Speaker 3: back's at me here, buddy. You go on ahead and
- 34:11Speaker 3: go chop down that lone bush. Right in the middle
- 34:14Speaker 3: of that property. And I'll take the view you'll have.
- 34:20Speaker 3: I'll take the view you'll have. It's only one single bush, Mark,
- 34:23Speaker 3: in the middle of a field. You go on ahead
- 34:25Speaker 3: and chop that down.
- 34:25Speaker 4: Actually, and over to the side there, Mark, there's a
- 34:27Speaker 4: white thorn growing against a black thorn tree to form
- 34:29Speaker 4: kind of an arch there. Yeah, burn that out of it.
- 34:34Speaker 3: Yeah, I know.
- 34:34Speaker 4: If that stuff takes off, Mark.
- 34:36Speaker 3: Oh, jeez. That's like that Japanese knotweed. No, you can't
- 34:39Speaker 3: have that on a property.
- 34:39Speaker 4: It's worse than fucking hogweed, Japanese knotweed, or even fucking
- 34:42Speaker 4: rosy dandrums. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- 34:44Speaker 3: Get that gone. Get that stuff.
- 34:45Speaker 4: Oh, you got to get that. Get that fucking gone.
- 34:46Speaker 3: You see, on my land, no, you don't. I got
- 34:48Speaker 3: rid of it. You get rid of yours, Mark. Yeah, exactly.
- 34:50Speaker 4: For fuck's sake, Mark.
- 34:52Speaker 3: Yeah. Mark, what's your take on women whistling?
- 34:54Speaker 4: I'm just kidding.
- 34:56Speaker 3: Can your wife whistle?
- 34:59Speaker 4: Mrs.
- 34:59Speaker 3: Zuckerberg come here can we teach you a couple of
- 35:01Speaker 3: it's an Irish tradition just go about the house whistling
- 35:03Speaker 3: all the time.
- 35:04Speaker 4: Mark don't put your shoes on the shoe rack no
- 35:06Speaker 4: no put them up on the fucking kitchen table on
- 35:08Speaker 4: the table it's a sign of good good good luck
- 35:12Speaker 4: from the money.
- 35:12Speaker 3: You spent on them shoes a lot more money than
- 35:14Speaker 3: my shoes you won't be able to see them there
- 35:16Speaker 3: pal put all your shoes up on the table the
- 35:18Speaker 3: minute you buy them.
- 35:22Speaker 4: It does I mean but look if he does if
- 35:24Speaker 4: he does behave himself and doesn't fucking start swinging the
- 35:27Speaker 4: big mickey around the place thinking you know gets himself
- 35:30Speaker 4: a tweed jacket and suddenly has a big plummy accent
- 35:33Speaker 4: on him and he does ingratiate himself to the place
- 35:35Speaker 4: and doesn't just go you know um I was a
- 35:39Speaker 4: man's name, Walter, whatchamacallit, that had this Bruce Goose, you know,
- 35:42Speaker 4: he just roosted into the, you know, I'm just going
- 35:44Speaker 4: to hide and keep my feet in Kleenex boxes and
- 35:46Speaker 4: just hide up in the big castle and twitching curtain
- 35:49Speaker 4: every so often to see what lend people are climbing
- 35:52Speaker 4: over his wall and whatnot. But I was thinking too, like,
- 35:58Speaker 4: you know, perhaps maybe, you know, if it is Watford,
- 36:02Speaker 4: you know, it is Watford he's going to be in,
- 36:04Speaker 4: there's no harm for him maybe to do maybe like
- 36:07Speaker 4: a free Free advert for like. Blaise.
- 36:11Speaker 3: Do you know what I mean?
- 36:11Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 36:12Speaker 3: Yeah.
- 36:12Speaker 4: Do you know.
- 36:13Speaker 3: Just.
- 36:13Speaker 4: Just talking the place up. One thing. And I was
- 36:16Speaker 4: thinking about this. If he really. Really wants him to
- 36:20Speaker 4: get him. And this works for anybody. If you're ever
- 36:22Speaker 4: moving anywhere to Ireland. Or you're ever coming over to
- 36:24Speaker 4: anywhere in Ireland. You find yourself. Especially in rural Ireland.
- 36:27Speaker 4: All you need to do. Is get yourself. To local
- 36:31Speaker 4: county Jersey. Or even local parish Jersey. If you want.
- 36:35Speaker 4: But local county Jersey. And if there's one thing. Watford.
- 36:38Speaker 3: Ireland needs.
- 36:40Speaker 4: It's another JP. It's a JP McManus like what Limerick got.
- 36:44Speaker 4: Basically Daddy Warbucks. Everybody gets brand new boots. Do you
- 36:47Speaker 4: know what? Build him a new training pitch up the road.
- 36:50Speaker 4: Build him a new training pitch much like JP McManus did.
- 36:53Speaker 4: They went on to win about 19 All-Ireland since he
- 36:56Speaker 4: started dressing him and whatnot.
- 36:58Speaker 3: Do the welcome to Wrexham with the whole thing.
- 37:00Speaker 4: Yeah. Welcome to Wrexham. Now you're not physically allowed to
- 37:02Speaker 4: pay him marks. Money can't be seen on the surface
- 37:05Speaker 4: if you know what I mean.
- 37:07Speaker 3: You can't pay the marks so it's right up your
- 37:08Speaker 3: street buddy. Yeah. How much is this going to cost me?
- 37:13Speaker 3: Surprisingly little, Mark. Surprisingly little. I dare say there's a
- 37:16Speaker 3: tax write-off.
- 37:17Speaker 4: There will be a tax write-off for all of it.
- 37:19Speaker 4: It'll be absolutely a tax write-off for every last bit
- 37:22Speaker 4: of it. But just look, one person you need to meet,
- 37:24Speaker 4: he's called the King of Waterford. He's a guy called
- 37:27Speaker 4: John Milan. I don't know, did you ever come across
- 37:28Speaker 4: John Milan, Gerry? I don't think so. He's the most impassioned.
- 37:32Speaker 4: I'll send you on a clip. He's the most impassioned
- 37:38Speaker 4: Waterford man. And he was quoted... That's where I get
- 37:41Speaker 4: the I loves me county. He got sent off in
- 37:44Speaker 4: a match and afterwards he got interviewed and like the
- 37:46Speaker 4: whole place, he was crying. He played with no helmet.
- 37:51Speaker 4: Dad will tell you.
- 37:52Speaker 3: Wow.
- 37:52Speaker 4: And the whole place went bananas around him. He's just,
- 37:54Speaker 4: I'm Merti. And he's talking about, I tell you now Merti,
- 37:57Speaker 4: I just loves me county. And the whole place went focus.
- 38:00Speaker 4: And it became the most viral phrase of all time.
- 38:03Speaker 4: And he is, he's a colourful commentator now, but everything
- 38:07Speaker 4: GAA passes through him in Waterford. Him or Dan Shanahan
- 38:11Speaker 4: will do. A dozen or two names you need to remember, Mark.
- 38:14Speaker 4: Dan Shanahan and John Millan. You'll be okay. Other than that,
- 38:19Speaker 4: myself and Gerry may have to pay you a visit with,
- 38:23Speaker 4: you know, a couple of rotten eggs, a few sticks
- 38:26Speaker 4: and a bit of ribbons. Just to see.
- 38:27Speaker 3: A few pishugs.
- 38:28Speaker 4: A few pishugs. A couple of rotten eggs around the place.
- 38:31Speaker 4: Might bring one of our wives to go whistling outside
- 38:33Speaker 4: your front door. Natasha, can you whistle? I don't think
- 38:36Speaker 4: she can whistle, actually. I don't know that I've ever
- 38:39Speaker 4: heard one. Ask her what you should ask her and
- 38:40Speaker 4: see if she can't whistle. Because straight away the last
- 38:42Speaker 4: time I remember asking, can you whistle? She's like, no, why?
- 38:45Speaker 4: I said, that's good.
- 38:47Speaker 3: Never mind. Keep it that way. Can your wife whistle?
- 38:51Speaker 3: Let us know in the comments. Folks, we are going
- 38:52Speaker 3: to push on with the rest of the show. Mr. Zuckerberg,
- 38:54Speaker 3: you're on thin fucking ice, buddy.
- 38:56Speaker 4: Yes, you are.
- 38:58Speaker 3: Also, I had a look on Google Maps and I
- 39:00Speaker 3: think the nearest Apple Green Tea is like 40 miles away. So,
- 39:04Speaker 3: you know. Who fucking does your real estate? They've goosed you, man.
- 39:08Speaker 3: They've goosed you. Who do you want a fucking tea
- 39:11Speaker 3: in the morning? Where are you going to get it? Anyway.
- 39:13Speaker 3: We're going to push on with the rest of the show.
- 39:17Speaker 3: Final segment of the show, folks. You know what it is.
- 39:19Speaker 3: It's called We Remember When. When I was a young lad,
- 39:22Speaker 3: 20 or 30 or 40 years ago. We remember a
- 39:26Speaker 3: lot of things on the Tom and Jerry show of
- 39:28Speaker 3: when we were gassons. But last week's episode went down
- 39:31Speaker 3: particularly well, suggested by Trowbridge Milling. I'm told Trowbridge is
- 39:36Speaker 3: in the United States, Tom, I was told.
- 39:38Speaker 4: Is it?
- 39:39Speaker 3: Yeah. I'm sure there's a Trowbridge in England as well,
- 39:44Speaker 3: and maybe it's from the settlers that moved to the
- 39:49Speaker 3: US or like What do we call this place? Trowbridge.
- 39:52Speaker 4: It wouldn't be the first time they did that.
- 39:54Speaker 3: No, there you go. There you go. New Trowbridge.
- 39:56Speaker 4: New Trowbridge.
- 39:58Speaker 3: But last week Trowbridge Milling themselves, the entity asked us
- 40:04Speaker 3: to see where did all the good comedies go and
- 40:06Speaker 3: we went through the comedies from the 80s, 90s, 2000s,
- 40:09Speaker 3: 2010s and indeed the 2020s. That's the whole bit of
- 40:13Speaker 3: this segment folks. Me and Tom have lived through all
- 40:15Speaker 3: that and seen what we've seen and we found that
- 40:19Speaker 3: You know, it's the old adage as well, Tom. Money.
- 40:21Speaker 3: Where'd the money go? That's it. Like in the 80s,
- 40:24Speaker 3: you could just throw money at Saturday Night Live people
- 40:26Speaker 3: and they'd come up with two or three good movies
- 40:28Speaker 3: every year. Yeah. You know, they had a good run
- 40:30Speaker 3: of it. For this week, and this isn't going to
- 40:32Speaker 3: be an ongoing thing, folks. Like, you know, we're not
- 40:35Speaker 3: going to do this every week for the next 12 weeks.
- 40:37Speaker 3: It's not going to be in four weeks. I was like, yes,
- 40:40Speaker 3: let's take a look at Art House Romantic. New wave
- 40:44Speaker 3: down through the years.
- 40:45Speaker 4: It's hot. It was hot in our minds. And we've
- 40:48Speaker 4: only got... We are two simple minds, myself and Gerry.
- 40:50Speaker 4: So while it was hot in our minds, we said,
- 40:52Speaker 4: you know what? There was more pudding on the plate.
- 40:56Speaker 4: Let's finish it off by jumping into action movies.
- 41:01Speaker 3: Action movies. Now... If the question last time was, what
- 41:05Speaker 3: has happened to comedy movies down through the years? I
- 41:09Speaker 3: personally think, you know, it's still there if you look
- 41:11Speaker 3: for it. Maybe not in the same number. But I
- 41:14Speaker 3: will tell you, Tom, now, for a fact, action movies
- 41:17Speaker 3: have gone to fuck.
- 41:19Speaker 4: Definitely, much like the comedy ones, the dominance of an
- 41:24Speaker 4: action movie. You know what I mean? Because when an
- 41:26Speaker 4: action movie came out, That was everything. You were like, well,
- 41:31Speaker 4: I'm all in. And the whole family can get into
- 41:34Speaker 4: an action movie. You know what I mean?
- 41:35Speaker 3: Exactly.
- 41:36Speaker 4: You know what? Let's do it.
- 41:38Speaker 3: And as we go through it, we'll find like down
- 41:40Speaker 3: through the years, it has become like a bit of
- 41:43Speaker 3: a bit of a laughingstock, a bit of a four
- 41:47Speaker 3: letter word. You know that the traditional action movie has
- 41:51Speaker 3: become a bit of a joke unto itself. Action movies
- 41:55Speaker 3: do not win Best Picture.
- 41:57Speaker 4: At the Academy Awards.
- 41:58Speaker 3: They don't.
- 41:59Speaker 4: And when you're getting, you know, like, Top Gun tropes, like,
- 42:03Speaker 4: you know, you're getting Charlie Sheen in, what was it?
- 42:06Speaker 3: In Hot Shots, yeah.
- 42:07Speaker 4: Hot Shots. And, of course, you'd make Gruber as well.
- 42:09Speaker 3: Yeah. So easy to parody. So easy. It's hard to go.
- 42:14Speaker 3: We'll do what we did last time, folks, rather than
- 42:16Speaker 3: just say, oh, and I like this movie and I
- 42:17Speaker 3: like that movie. We'll try and look at the big
- 42:19Speaker 3: names down through the years, I think, is a fair.
- 42:24Speaker 3: A fair judge of where the money is.
- 42:28Speaker 4: That, and you can see the style that has changed.
- 42:30Speaker 3: And you can see the style come through as well.
- 42:31Speaker 4: That's changed from decade to decade.
- 42:34Speaker 3: And not unlike last time, folks, when we said that
- 42:37Speaker 3: the 80s really kind of... Maybe it's just that we
- 42:39Speaker 3: started at such a strong point, Tom, that we think
- 42:43Speaker 3: everything has gone downhill since. But when it comes to
- 42:46Speaker 3: action movies, the 80s, we started pretty strong, buddy.
- 42:50Speaker 4: There was a dominance... there was a dominance from when
- 42:54Speaker 4: they put him out it was like you could they
- 42:57Speaker 4: you knew they were gonna bang now some fuckers had
- 43:00Speaker 4: their heads in there too and you're kind of going
- 43:02Speaker 4: yeah not sure what you were doing there but there
- 43:05Speaker 4: was the you know you.
- 43:07Speaker 3: Know look at the names look at the names we're
- 43:09Speaker 3: going to get here arnie arnold schwarzenegger sly slice the
- 43:14Speaker 3: lung uh You know, Bruce kind of came in in
- 43:18Speaker 3: the 90s.
- 43:18Speaker 4: Early 90s, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- 43:20Speaker 3: But you had Chuck Norris.
- 43:22Speaker 4: Chuck as well, yeah.
- 43:23Speaker 3: In the bargain. You had a bunch of martial arts
- 43:26Speaker 3: that came out of the 70s after Bruce Lee died.
- 43:28Speaker 3: And everybody was like, God damn martial arts. We really
- 43:30Speaker 3: do love it. And people grew up into the 80s.
- 43:33Speaker 3: And all you needed was Arnold Schwarzenegger, Chuck Norris. One
- 43:38Speaker 3: of these names. A bunch of lads in a jungle somewhere.
- 43:43Speaker 3: And real explosions with a drum of diesel. Throw a
- 43:45Speaker 3: match into it. Boom, up she goes.
- 43:48Speaker 4: And everybody smokes.
- 43:49Speaker 3: Everybody smokes. Not for nothing, if there's a lady there,
- 43:53Speaker 3: she's getting kissed before this movie is over.
- 43:55Speaker 4: And she's smoking.
- 43:57Speaker 3: And she's gorgeous.
- 43:57Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- 43:58Speaker 3: I like it.
- 43:59Speaker 4: There's a recipe to all of these. You need to
- 44:02Speaker 4: see close-ups on veins.
- 44:04Speaker 3: Oh, yeah. Bulging muscles.
- 44:06Speaker 4: Bulging muscles. Ride it to the fucking jacked limit.
- 44:10Speaker 3: Ultimate warrior levels of steroids going on here. And, you know,
- 44:14Speaker 3: we could, you know, we were too small to realize
- 44:16Speaker 3: it at the time. We were just like, oh, wow,
- 44:18Speaker 3: just like big explosions and people saving the day and
- 44:20Speaker 3: all this kind of thing. I think there's an argument
- 44:23Speaker 3: to be made. Everybody will, you know, if you want
- 44:25Speaker 3: to get real philosophical with it, Tom, like it's all
- 44:27Speaker 3: in answer to America getting their ass kicked in Vietnam.
- 44:30Speaker 4: Yeah.
- 44:31Speaker 3: And everybody's like, it's like, no, we lost. We're losers. No,
- 44:33Speaker 3: we're not losers. We're going to go to the movie
- 44:35Speaker 3: and see Rambo fucking blow up a town and Arnold
- 44:39Speaker 3: Schwarzenegger fucking smash a drug ring. And even guys that
- 44:44Speaker 3: wouldn't traditionally be action stars like Eddie Murphy, who would
- 44:47Speaker 3: be comedians, but all of a sudden they're like jumping
- 44:49Speaker 3: over cars and blowing up things in Beverly Hills Cop.
- 44:52Speaker 3: Like it was a fucking wild time to be alive.
- 44:55Speaker 4: Well, Sly got right in there. I mean, he had
- 44:59Speaker 4: a crack off the Russians a couple of times. He
- 45:02Speaker 4: was in with the Afghanis at one stage, which is
- 45:04Speaker 4: kind of hilarious. And then he's over, he's fighting Russians.
- 45:07Speaker 4: He tried to make this stuff real political. Whether he
- 45:12Speaker 4: went from boxing to shooting people. But at the same time,
- 45:16Speaker 4: we were there for it all.
- 45:17Speaker 3: We're like, yeah. Oh, God, yeah. And once in the 80s,
- 45:22Speaker 3: we're so strong. that when it goes through into the 90s,
- 45:26Speaker 3: you mightn't have noticed the wheels starting to come off
- 45:30Speaker 3: ever so slightly. Because again, it carried over from the
- 45:33Speaker 3: 80s into the 90s. And you had Bruce Willis in
- 45:35Speaker 3: Die Hard and all its assorted sequels. And there's even
- 45:39Speaker 3: a line in the last Boy Scout where Damon Wayans
- 45:43Speaker 3: goes like, this is the 90s, you can't just shoot somebody.
- 45:45Speaker 3: You have to say something cool first.
- 45:48Speaker 4: Yeah.
- 45:48Speaker 3: The truer word was never spoken. It was like, You know,
- 45:53Speaker 3: you didn't have... Nobody came along in the 90s that
- 45:56Speaker 3: looked like Arnold Schwarzenegger. It wasn't like he was replaced
- 45:58Speaker 3: by another big fucking muscle head. Because where do you
- 46:02Speaker 3: go from there? You can't get up that big again.
- 46:05Speaker 4: Reading Arnie's book, he got us... He kept a stranglehold.
- 46:11Speaker 3: He smashed it so hard.
- 46:12Speaker 4: But he kept a stranglehold throughout the 90s too on people.
- 46:15Speaker 4: You know what I mean? And he invented those one-liners before.
- 46:19Speaker 2: And they.
- 46:20Speaker 4: Directors were going fucking mad with him because they were like,
- 46:22Speaker 4: you can't be saying shit before. But he pushed it
- 46:25Speaker 4: and pushed it. He went, no, trust me. Yeah. Look,
- 46:28Speaker 4: he understood what he looked like too. He was so smart.
- 46:30Speaker 4: He was like, if I give.
- 46:31Speaker 3: Look at the fucking state of me.
- 46:32Speaker 4: Look at the state of me. Like, you know what
- 46:34Speaker 4: I mean? I look like I've been stung by a
- 46:35Speaker 4: million bees. Let me say, like, you know, like in.
- 46:41Speaker 4: In commando you know and he breaks the guy he's
- 46:44Speaker 4: dead tired and you know or he throws a big
- 46:46Speaker 4: pipe through your man the baddie and like it's steam
- 46:49Speaker 4: comes flying and he's like cool off Bennett let off
- 46:51Speaker 4: some steam but he was aware of his accent was
- 46:54Speaker 4: ludicrous too but he kept a stranglehold through the.
- 46:56Speaker 3: 90s but here's the thing what I'm going to tell
- 46:58Speaker 3: you as well even by 1993 so in the early
- 47:03Speaker 3: 90s yeah 80s still fresh Schwarzenegger came out with the
- 47:06Speaker 3: last action hero which was a piss take of everything
- 47:10Speaker 3: like they kind of knew that this muscle-bound dude would
- 47:14Speaker 3: have gone... Their numbers were up, yeah, yeah. The day
- 47:16Speaker 3: was up for it. And if you look at everything
- 47:18Speaker 3: from there on out, the 90s are a little bit
- 47:22Speaker 3: sort of, they don't know what they want to do
- 47:23Speaker 3: with action films. Yeah. You know, all right, well, we've
- 47:27Speaker 3: got Bruce Willis. Okay, I do now. Okay, well, who
- 47:29Speaker 3: are we going to have to save a bunch of
- 47:32Speaker 3: prisoners in Alcatraz? Who are we going to send in
- 47:36Speaker 3: for that? In the 80s, they'd be like, send in
- 47:39Speaker 3: Arnold Schwarzenegger, he'll clean house. no, now we'll send in
- 47:41Speaker 3: Nicolas Cage. Yeah. And we'll have him also saving prisoners
- 47:45Speaker 3: in Con Air. It's like, that's okay. And Nicolas Cage
- 47:49Speaker 3: is kicking ass in Face Off as well. It's like,
- 47:52Speaker 3: what are we doing here, lads? Where's the, you know,
- 47:54Speaker 3: and those are fun films by all means, but it
- 47:56Speaker 3: was a real sort of, it was a weird time
- 47:59Speaker 3: when you look at it.
- 48:00Speaker 4: I think the, it might have gone hand in hand
- 48:03Speaker 4: with like the steroid scandals of things because lads downsized. Like,
- 48:07Speaker 4: if anything, Nicolas Cage had to up size because he
- 48:10Speaker 4: hadn't a fucking muscle on him no he hadn't a
- 48:12Speaker 4: pickle I'm sure Bruce didn't either but Bruce looked like
- 48:15Speaker 4: the everyman which is what we loved he looked like.
- 48:18Speaker 3: Every bloke just some dude just a dad and his
- 48:22Speaker 3: list but I feel like you know around about the
- 48:24Speaker 3: 90s they were a wee bit sort of embarrassed by
- 48:26Speaker 3: themselves and you know you'd have your action movie as
- 48:29Speaker 3: well but it'd be action but it's also aliens or
- 48:32Speaker 3: action but it's also robots you know it was very
- 48:36Speaker 3: little sort of you know There's some Russians. Clearly the
- 48:42Speaker 3: bad guys. Let's fucking.
- 48:44Speaker 4: It had. It had gone. Now you had Iranians coming in,
- 48:47Speaker 4: you know, blowing stuff up as well. So there was
- 48:49Speaker 4: a bit of that too. Like, so they were kind
- 48:51Speaker 4: of trying to go, okay, we've cooled off with the Russians.
- 48:53Speaker 4: Let's leave that where it is. Yeah. Who are we
- 48:55Speaker 4: into next? And you would, you'd get Eastern, you know,
- 48:58Speaker 4: Middle Eastern guys are going to be, and invariably it's
- 49:01Speaker 4: just going to be. an Asian-descended actor. There's actually a
- 49:05Speaker 4: Maori guy there who was in Once Were Warriors. He's
- 49:07Speaker 4: played a ton of, like, terrorists.
- 49:09Speaker 3: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- 49:10Speaker 4: He's a great actor.
- 49:12Speaker 3: What's his name? Oh, God, that's going to relax me now.
- 49:14Speaker 4: Yeah, I know you know who he is. He's actually
- 49:16Speaker 4: a gas bloke. But he talked about it. He was like, man,
- 49:19Speaker 4: it was a ticket. He goes, I just, I looked
- 49:21Speaker 4: a bit brown. So I was like, even though I
- 49:23Speaker 4: had put on the accent.
- 49:24Speaker 3: You need me to be Mexican? I'm Mexican. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- 49:27Speaker 4: Like, you know, but you had, there was the kind
- 49:31Speaker 4: of everyman character had to come through in the 90s
- 49:33Speaker 4: because it just wasn't, I don't think, because when, especially
- 49:36Speaker 4: when you have the leaders of it all, doing things
- 49:39Speaker 4: like stop or my mom will shoot or they'd given
- 49:42Speaker 4: up on irony playing irony playing uh uh you know
- 49:47Speaker 4: fucking twins like they understood even tango and cash very
- 49:51Speaker 4: funny and they knew humor had to be involved yeah
- 49:55Speaker 4: like you know they were like i don't think people
- 49:56Speaker 4: are going to buy the full-on veins bulging you know
- 50:00Speaker 4: fucking chopping people's fucking heads off with a uh you
- 50:03Speaker 4: know it's a big knife yeah It's not going to
- 50:06Speaker 4: cut it. Like, and then you bring, you know, it
- 50:08Speaker 4: isn't an action action hero, but you bring somebody like
- 50:10Speaker 4: Mick Dundee into things.
- 50:11Speaker 3: You're like, this.
- 50:12Speaker 4: Comedy mixed with humour or action is what we kind
- 50:16Speaker 4: of need.
- 50:16Speaker 3: Now, very schizophrenic time.
- 50:19Speaker 4: You had, there was always, and one thing, and I'm
- 50:21Speaker 4: not getting off the fence here, but there's one thing
- 50:23Speaker 4: that has held through. Now, neither Arnie nor fucking Sly
- 50:26Speaker 4: had any ability in whatsoever, but always through all decades,
- 50:30Speaker 4: martial arts. There was always, so you had your serious
- 50:33Speaker 4: characters who, Albeit Jackie Chan was a bit of crack,
- 50:36Speaker 4: but a serious martial artist. Then you've Jet Li, who
- 50:39Speaker 4: came along and turned the game on its head, because
- 50:41Speaker 4: he was the real deal, never smiled.
- 50:43Speaker 3: Because he was faster, yeah, yeah.
- 50:43Speaker 4: Because he was faster and never smiled, do you know?
- 50:46Speaker 3: Let me tell you, when we get into the 2000s, Tom,
- 50:48Speaker 3: there was one action film very early in the 2000s, 2002,
- 50:52Speaker 3: which completely now, for good or for ill, changed everything.
- 50:57Speaker 3: And that was The Bourne Identity.
- 51:00Speaker 4: Okay, I thought you were going to say Blade, but yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- 51:04Speaker 3: That brought us down. Maybe next week we will do Superheroes. No,
- 51:07Speaker 3: this is it. We're done.
- 51:08Speaker 4: No, you're right.
- 51:08Speaker 3: You're right. But the Bourne Identity came out in 2002
- 51:11Speaker 3: and it was a real sort of like, okay, this
- 51:13Speaker 3: is an action. This is what action is now, lads. It's... Oh,
- 51:17Speaker 3: it was groundbreaking. You get shot, you're almost certainly going
- 51:20Speaker 3: to be killed. None of this like, oh, it's just
- 51:21Speaker 3: a flesh wound and go on about your business. If
- 51:23Speaker 3: you get shot, you're going to be taken out for
- 51:25Speaker 3: half an hour and you have to rest up. You're
- 51:28Speaker 3: going to be pissing sweat. Your feet are going to
- 51:30Speaker 3: be sore. It's like, it is, for want of a
- 51:34Speaker 3: better word, Tom, real. And I'm okay with that. And
- 51:38Speaker 3: then they turned around and said, oh, and by the way,
- 51:39Speaker 3: when we film Everton, the camera's going to shake like fuck.
- 51:42Speaker 3: And you're not going to be sitting. Because it's gritty
- 51:44Speaker 3: and realistic. And it feels like you're in the fight.
- 51:46Speaker 3: And I'm like, wonderful. I can't see shit.
- 51:49Speaker 4: The only, the thing, I looked at it recently and
- 51:52Speaker 4: kind of went, Jesus Christ, what am I looking at?
- 51:54Speaker 4: But then I circled back to my childhood, my childhood.
- 51:57Speaker 4: my late teens when I watched that and I was like,
- 52:00Speaker 4: oh no, at the time I thought this was a classic.
- 52:01Speaker 4: Because it was, it's this, it's something that we never
- 52:04Speaker 4: saw before and it was choreographed close hand combat. And
- 52:09Speaker 4: you're seeing, you're probably seeing what you felt aside from,
- 52:14Speaker 4: you know, you know, Delta Force when you're watching Chuck
- 52:17Speaker 4: back in the 80s, you know, with fucking rockets and
- 52:19Speaker 4: a scrambler.
- 52:20Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not that.
- 52:22Speaker 4: Oh no, this is real probably. God, he did. He
- 52:25Speaker 4: trained with real fucking Special Forces, where you're going to...
- 52:29Speaker 4: When he stabs a man to death with a fucking
- 52:31Speaker 4: big biro... Yeah, yeah, yeah. That is the turning point.
- 52:34Speaker 4: This is the new era of action movies. He doesn't
- 52:38Speaker 4: have a fucking grenade or C4 somewhere on him. He's
- 52:42Speaker 4: a busted up guy already. He's having a serious scrap
- 52:45Speaker 4: at this fella and just finds a fucking pen and
- 52:47Speaker 4: stabs the living shit out of.
- 52:48Speaker 3: Him with it. He also feels like he might not win. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- 52:52Speaker 4: He takes a right height in most of these fights.
- 52:56Speaker 3: And we're okay with that. And that was fine. What
- 52:59Speaker 3: I didn't think, Tom, was that that was going to
- 53:01Speaker 3: inform every fucking action film for the next 10 years. Yeah, yeah.
- 53:06Speaker 3: The Bourne franchise, with respect to it, completely changed what
- 53:09Speaker 3: James Bond was for 20 years. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All
- 53:13Speaker 3: of a sudden, James Bond is more... is more gritty.
- 53:17Speaker 3: He's not the handsomest dude going. Like, you know, he's
- 53:20Speaker 3: not like this fucking pretty boy. He's Daniel Craig. He
- 53:23Speaker 3: looks like he's been in a couple of fights. You know,
- 53:25Speaker 3: people now have come to respect Daniel Craig. I mean, God,
- 53:27Speaker 3: he's so handsome. I remember when he came out first,
- 53:29Speaker 3: we were like, he's a mad looking bastard.
- 53:31Speaker 4: He was a lyric kick. He wasn't fucking hot. He
- 53:33Speaker 4: was a fucking, he was a nerdy looking fucking dude.
- 53:36Speaker 3: Who the hell is this guy?
- 53:37Speaker 4: He got jacked for fucking the movies. But you're right.
- 53:40Speaker 3: And he's doing close hand fights and it's all, it
- 53:42Speaker 3: all is, you know, You feel like he's going to die.
- 53:45Speaker 3: And then in the late 2000s, it's like, who's your
- 53:51Speaker 3: action stars? Again, we go back to who's your action stars.
- 53:53Speaker 3: Nobody's really come through as being like the big action stars.
- 53:56Speaker 3: And then you find it in unlikely places. When you
- 53:59Speaker 3: get to around about 2007, it's like, you know, he's
- 54:02Speaker 3: on the hunt to kill a bunch of Eastern European
- 54:05Speaker 3: bastards and save his daughter. It's 60-year-old Liam Neeson out
- 54:11Speaker 3: of fucking nowhere suddenly becomes... Like... A massive action star...
- 54:16Speaker 3: Is like... No this man... This is an old fucking dude...
- 54:18Speaker 3: How can he realistically... Stand toe to toe in a fight?
- 54:22Speaker 3: Well Tom... If the camera is in nice and close...
- 54:24Speaker 3: And it's shaking like fuck... And it's all this kind of...
- 54:26Speaker 3: Just hands flying shit... You can say... Well I guess he's...
- 54:29Speaker 3: I guess... I guess that old man... Is kicking the
- 54:31Speaker 3: shit out of everybody.
- 54:32Speaker 4: Alright fair enough... But much like... He went from Schindler's List...
- 54:35Speaker 4: To killing all these Albanians... Like... If you look at
- 54:39Speaker 4: Jason Statham... He went from... You... You know... To suddenly
- 54:44Speaker 4: being a fucking roundhouse kick expert. You're like, sorry, before
- 54:49Speaker 4: Zee Jam was getting to me. And he's drinking cartons
- 54:51Speaker 4: of milk. You're like, where the fuck were you hiding?
- 54:54Speaker 4: Do you not feel.
- 54:56Speaker 3: Like Jason Statham should have had like an Arnie level career?
- 55:00Speaker 3: He was like prime fork, big dude, can fight, good
- 55:04Speaker 3: with the one liners, bit of crack, got a bit
- 55:06Speaker 3: of comic time. And Liam Neeson comes along and kind
- 55:11Speaker 3: of eats his dinner on him.
- 55:12Speaker 4: I think he did, but also I think Statham, right?
- 55:16Speaker 4: I'd say he's happy enough being the carpenter, the tradesman,
- 55:24Speaker 4: the bin man. He's always saving some young one, like
- 55:28Speaker 4: a child. Yes. And he has an audience, invariably. And
- 55:31Speaker 4: then a movie that probably just, you know, you could
- 55:34Speaker 4: copy and paste most of the fucking scripts. He says
- 55:37Speaker 4: almost no words in any of them. He's funny when
- 55:40Speaker 4: he wants to be, but I'd say his movies get
- 55:42Speaker 4: wrapped inside the six week to fucking two month mark.
- 55:45Speaker 3: Yeah, exactly.
- 55:45Speaker 4: And he's a fella, I'd say, who enjoys the good
- 55:48Speaker 4: life in Monaco. You know, he doesn't strike me as,
- 55:50Speaker 4: like he'll never go off and do the Matt Damon
- 55:54Speaker 4: on it.
- 55:54Speaker 3: Do you know what I mean? No, no, no.
- 55:55Speaker 4: Where he allows, you know, Michael Douglas to book him
- 55:57Speaker 4: from behind as they pretend to be fucking gay lovers
- 55:59Speaker 4: and Liberace, you know. You ain't getting that out of
- 56:02Speaker 4: Jason Statham.
- 56:03Speaker 3: Jason Statham's not going on an Oscar run.
- 56:05Speaker 4: No, and I think he's more than fucking happy with that.
- 56:08Speaker 3: He's grand. He's found a level he's happy with.
- 56:10Speaker 4: He'll still command 15 million a movie, and that's all
- 56:13Speaker 4: he needs.
- 56:14Speaker 3: He'll still open a picture, as they say.
- 56:15Speaker 4: Yeah, he will.
- 56:17Speaker 3: So all of a sudden, and not for nothing as well, folks,
- 56:19Speaker 3: there was five Jason Bourne movies. There was three takings.
- 56:23Speaker 3: So they found a formula that worked, and people were
- 56:26Speaker 3: paying for it, and they paid for it well into
- 56:28Speaker 3: the 2010s. And this is where I really feel You know,
- 56:32Speaker 3: not for nothing as well, Tom, superhero films came along
- 56:34Speaker 3: and they took, everything was a superhero film. And it
- 56:36Speaker 3: was like, you couldn't get Die Hard made in the 2010s.
- 56:39Speaker 3: Not a fix. Because all they wanted was like, oh,
- 56:41Speaker 3: what's his superpower? And it's like, well, it's not anything.
- 56:45Speaker 3: He's just a man in a vest with no shoes on.
- 56:47Speaker 4: He's off the fags.
- 56:48Speaker 3: Exactly. And in these superhero films, not for nothing as well.
- 56:54Speaker 3: kind of informed action films going forward because in a
- 56:56Speaker 3: superhero film you can throw Iron Man against the wall
- 56:58Speaker 3: you can smack him on the ground and he's fine
- 57:00Speaker 3: he's like rubber he just walks on out Spider-Man can
- 57:03Speaker 3: be pummeled into the ground by the Incredible Hulk like
- 57:06Speaker 3: have his head smashed into the ground and he just
- 57:08Speaker 3: like shakes it off.
- 57:08Speaker 4: Like Liberace did to Matt Damon yeah absolutely just like
- 57:11Speaker 4: fucking just fucking yeah that's the movie I want to
- 57:15Speaker 4: see the Hulk and Spider-Man just making love.
- 57:18Speaker 3: In the middle of the middle of Times Square.
- 57:22Speaker 4: Just breaking tarmac around him going, God, yeah.
- 57:25Speaker 3: We're not going to make money at the box office
- 57:26Speaker 3: on this here. Nah, yeah, we'll make it up at
- 57:27Speaker 3: home on DVD. Don't worry, buddy.
- 57:31Speaker 4: Are we still making Blu-rays? We are now. So be
- 57:35Speaker 4: it now.
- 57:35Speaker 3: When you get into the 2015s, all this kind of crack,
- 57:39Speaker 3: I really feel like, you know, your action hero can
- 57:43Speaker 3: get the shit thumped of himself a lot and always
- 57:47Speaker 3: be grand and always be fine. And I remember not
- 57:49Speaker 3: for nothing as well, Tom, in the 80s and that
- 57:51Speaker 3: kind of thing, if an action hero had a friend
- 57:54Speaker 3: in a movie, that person was getting fucking killed.
- 57:57Speaker 4: Most definitely, yeah.
- 57:57Speaker 3: They were most definitely getting killed. And now it's like,
- 58:01Speaker 3: test audiences didn't like it when the friend died. So
- 58:04Speaker 3: the friend is still there at the end, like, nursing
- 58:06Speaker 3: a shot shoulder or some shit like that. And I'm
- 58:09Speaker 3: just like, something has.
- 58:11Speaker 4: Been lost here. It got weak with... There was... I
- 58:17Speaker 4: look for.
- 58:19Speaker 4: What would you call them? I suppose markers. And there
- 58:21Speaker 4: are markers too, like I said, when Jason Bourne stuck
- 58:24Speaker 4: that fucking pen down your man's hand. I was like, oh,
- 58:27Speaker 4: this changes everything.
- 58:28Speaker 3: Yes, here we are.
- 58:29Speaker 4: There was a moment when Henry Cavill was playing it.
- 58:32Speaker 4: I was inside in the toilet. And O'Toole gave me
- 58:36Speaker 4: his fucking swings of his fucking... If ever a fella
- 58:39Speaker 4: didn't look like a fighter. Massive, obviously. Full of H.E.H.,
- 58:45Speaker 4: And he did this fucking reload thing of his two arms.
- 58:47Speaker 4: And it was the most shitebag thing I've ever seen
- 58:51Speaker 4: in my life. I went, what? And they actually, like
- 58:55Speaker 4: they left in a ch-ch sound.
- 58:57Speaker 3: They did?
- 58:57Speaker 4: And Cavill claimed that during, it was just during filming,
- 59:01Speaker 4: he was just shaking out the shirt or whatever. And like,
- 59:04Speaker 4: what were those two little flailing girly arm things that
- 59:07Speaker 4: you just did? And somebody left a ch-ch in. Oh yeah,
- 59:10Speaker 4: they knew what that is. That is fucking terrible.
- 59:14Speaker 3: Well, as you mentioned that, Tom, that's a style that
- 59:16Speaker 3: came in in the 2010s, shall we call it. And
- 59:20Speaker 3: it's still kind of with us to this day. And
- 59:22Speaker 3: it came with an action film. God loved them for
- 59:24Speaker 3: making it, I have to tell you. It was refreshing
- 59:27Speaker 3: to see you know a lad who has no superpowers
- 59:31Speaker 3: he's got no nothing he really is just a guy
- 59:33Speaker 3: that's very good at shooting and we're going to build
- 59:35Speaker 3: a whole movie around that and that movie was called
- 59:38Speaker 3: John Wick I mean of which they're up to about
- 59:40Speaker 3: six of these fucking things now as well now talk about.
- 59:43Speaker 4: An about face for I intended yeah exactly again Keanu
- 59:48Speaker 4: Reeves is in his Liam Neeson age as well as like.
- 59:53Speaker 3: Isn't he a bit old? It's like, no, Liam Neeson
- 59:55Speaker 3: was grand and taken. People loved him, so they don't
- 59:57Speaker 3: mind that Keanu's 55. Just let him cook, bro.
- 1:00:00Speaker 4: To be fair to Keanu, I don't know what lifestyle
- 1:00:03Speaker 4: that man is leading. He looks great. He looks brilliant
- 1:00:08Speaker 4: for a 55-year-old. Now, as my wife said, that man
- 1:00:11Speaker 4: never had a mortgage issue. Fair enough. Yeah, I hear you.
- 1:00:15Speaker 4: But I think he stayed out of the... Which I
- 1:00:20Speaker 4: was surprised he never really kicked on from the Matrix
- 1:00:22Speaker 4: when it came to being an action star. He never really...
- 1:00:27Speaker 4: You know, you're expecting, okay, he's going to show up
- 1:00:29Speaker 4: in the next thing, the next... He's going to be
- 1:00:31Speaker 4: the Matt Damon of this era. And he didn't really.
- 1:00:35Speaker 4: I think he went off surfing for a while. Again,
- 1:00:36Speaker 4: I don't think he's money-grubbing. I don't think.
- 1:00:39Speaker 3: It's the kind of thing, Tom, like, you know, people
- 1:00:41Speaker 3: would say... you'd say to people, you know, action star
- 1:00:44Speaker 3: Keanu Reeves and they'd be like, well, he's not really
- 1:00:46Speaker 3: an action star. You're telling me that the lad that
- 1:00:48Speaker 3: was in Point Break, The Matrix, Speed and John Wick
- 1:00:53Speaker 3: is not an action star. He is. You just don't
- 1:00:54Speaker 3: put him, you just don't know how to think of him.
- 1:00:56Speaker 4: They're nearly over a 30 year period. Do you know
- 1:00:59Speaker 4: what I mean? They're over a 25 year period.
- 1:01:00Speaker 3: It's well spread out. And, you know, it's not like
- 1:01:03Speaker 3: he's a big cartoony fucking Schwarzenegger dude. And that was
- 1:01:06Speaker 3: the thing with John Wick as well. It was the
- 1:01:08Speaker 3: style of it as well. Whereas Jason Bourne was all
- 1:01:10Speaker 3: shaky camera and you know, up close and driving biros
- 1:01:13Speaker 3: into lads' hands and shit like this. John Wick is like,
- 1:01:16Speaker 3: and I like the first one, don't get me wrong,
- 1:01:18Speaker 3: but it's like super choreographed.
- 1:01:20Speaker 4: It's very, very, very, like it's almost Kill Bill choreographed.
- 1:01:24Speaker 4: Do you know what I mean?
- 1:01:25Speaker 3: It's like the fucking Siege of Ennistown. And one, two, three,
- 1:01:30Speaker 3: and one, two, three, and I shoot the head and
- 1:01:32Speaker 3: I roll over here and shoot the ankle and when
- 1:01:35Speaker 3: he falls, shoot his head and then get his gun
- 1:01:37Speaker 3: and reload and shoot another lad coming around the corner.
- 1:01:39Speaker 4: Like, it's... I think they also, there was a lore
- 1:01:42Speaker 4: that went with it, you see. There was a John
- 1:01:44Speaker 4: Wick lore prior to it ever. And then... And could
- 1:01:48Speaker 4: I just say as well.
- 1:01:49Speaker 3: Tom, if anybody says, oh, actually, I go see the
- 1:01:51Speaker 3: John Wick movies to follow the lore of it.
- 1:01:53Speaker 4: Yeah, fuck you.
- 1:01:53Speaker 3: You go for the headshots, buddy. You do, of course.
- 1:01:55Speaker 3: You go to see heads.
- 1:01:56Speaker 4: But not just that lore. I think Reeves is a
- 1:01:59Speaker 4: lot smarter than people give him credit for. Supposed to
- 1:02:02Speaker 4: be a lovely man on set, too.
- 1:02:03Speaker 3: Oh, yeah.
- 1:02:03Speaker 4: But he's a lot smarter.
- 1:02:05Speaker 3: He... He.
- 1:02:07Speaker 4: Not only did he he got in incredible shape and
- 1:02:11Speaker 4: got super fit for it and obviously trained his whole
- 1:02:13Speaker 4: lot for it. He actually developed his gun skills. You know,
- 1:02:18Speaker 4: they do this competition shooting where they go through apparently
- 1:02:23Speaker 4: he's at absolute marksman level and he invented that the
- 1:02:28Speaker 4: Navy SEALs are now using that trick of the flick
- 1:02:32Speaker 4: of the magazine and getting another one in.
- 1:02:35Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah. The John Wick flick.
- 1:02:38Speaker 4: Super cool on camera but there was a Navy SEAL
- 1:02:42Speaker 4: talking on a thing one time and he was like
- 1:02:44Speaker 4: no we use that now that's a thing now it
- 1:02:49Speaker 4: actually cuts down they can actually quantify the lives it's
- 1:02:54Speaker 4: saved on breaking an entry into houses the speed of
- 1:02:58Speaker 4: reload on that.
- 1:02:59Speaker 3: But again I don't think that's very unique Tom because
- 1:03:01Speaker 3: for years the Navy SEALs have been following Arnie's manoeuvre
- 1:03:05Speaker 3: of driving a pole through a man's abdomen into a
- 1:03:08Speaker 3: steam boiler well that's just standard operating practice just the
- 1:03:14Speaker 3: first bad guy you see drive a fucking three inch
- 1:03:17Speaker 3: pipe through the bastard.
- 1:03:21Speaker 4: It's all about being sealed baby.
- 1:03:24Speaker 3: So that kind of chases us up to where we
- 1:03:26Speaker 3: are today where like action movies that come out today
- 1:03:30Speaker 3: you don't know what the fuck you're going to get
- 1:03:33Speaker 3: you could get Rambo 5 because people still think there's
- 1:03:37Speaker 3: money in that or you could get fucking Better call
- 1:03:41Speaker 3: Saul with a shotgun as a CIA operative doing tuck
- 1:03:44Speaker 3: and rolls out of moving cars at 60 years of
- 1:03:47Speaker 3: age to do multiple headshots without breaking a sweat. You
- 1:03:52Speaker 3: don't know what you're going to get. I really feel like,
- 1:03:56Speaker 3: you know, when you say it's an action movie, it's like, well,
- 1:03:57Speaker 3: who is it going to be? Jason Momoa drinking a
- 1:04:02Speaker 3: Guinness on a motorbike making one-liners with respect, Jason. aren't
- 1:04:09Speaker 3: hitting bro.
- 1:04:10Speaker 4: They're not hitting they don't hit at all you're too
- 1:04:13Speaker 4: good looking he's too fucking good looking the guy is
- 1:04:16Speaker 4: actually fucking he's smouldering away on set and he's trying
- 1:04:19Speaker 4: to look like the every kind of class lad you're
- 1:04:21Speaker 4: like dude you're 6'6 I don't know you're built like
- 1:04:25Speaker 4: a tree and you're gorgeous looking.
- 1:04:28Speaker 3: It's you'll have Jason Statham show up every six months
- 1:04:32Speaker 3: as you said just after Tom yeah Jason Statham he's
- 1:04:36Speaker 3: putting his tools down and getting the work He's the
- 1:04:39Speaker 3: apprentice carpenter. What are you playing this week? This week? Yeah.
- 1:04:46Speaker 4: I just want to be left alone and draw silage
- 1:04:48Speaker 4: for the summer.
- 1:04:51Speaker 2: Just fuck off. I've got my New Holland and I'm happy.
- 1:04:54Speaker 2: I'm an Irish lad living in Wexford drawing silage. But
- 1:04:58Speaker 2: now they've come to steal my diesel.
- 1:05:03Speaker 3: Opening this weekend. All this season. No, no, no, no, no, no.
- 1:05:11Speaker 4: It has to be called Hit the Diff. His movie
- 1:05:14Speaker 4: has to be called Hit the Diff. I tell you, I...
- 1:05:15Speaker 4: That's the tagline, the diff is about to be hit.
- 1:05:18Speaker 4: Do you know what? But there's still, that shite is
- 1:05:20Speaker 4: still selling because, I mean, if he's not chasing a shark, he's,
- 1:05:23Speaker 4: you know, he's something else an expert in, but it
- 1:05:25Speaker 4: still sells. And I watched an action movie maybe six
- 1:05:28Speaker 4: months ago and I went, okay, there's almost no original
- 1:05:32Speaker 4: scripts anymore. Right. They all have a vendetta. They all
- 1:05:35Speaker 4: have a vendetta of some sort. Or they have, you know,
- 1:05:38Speaker 4: a righteous thing to do, whether it's saving somebody. But
- 1:05:41Speaker 4: I watched a movie called Sisu.
- 1:05:44Speaker 3: Right.
- 1:05:45Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Our lad.
- 1:05:48Speaker 3: Our lad.
- 1:05:49Speaker 4: Loosely based on a true story, right?
- 1:05:51Speaker 3: Are you fucking loosely?
- 1:05:52Speaker 4: No, but it's... I think the hardness of him, not
- 1:05:55Speaker 4: actually the story of the gold or whatever, but I
- 1:05:56Speaker 4: think the hardness of this guy is based on... I
- 1:05:59Speaker 4: don't know if it was a Swedish or Norwegian guy who...
- 1:06:03Speaker 4: I think the wife or somebody got killed by Nazis.
- 1:06:06Speaker 4: And he went out with... He wouldn't even wear... He
- 1:06:08Speaker 4: wouldn't bring... I don't know, he'd take down something like
- 1:06:12Speaker 4: 73 Nazis. He got them all. And he did it
- 1:06:14Speaker 4: with iron sights from like 200... Because he went... The glass,
- 1:06:18Speaker 4: you know, the telescopic... He thought of everything to get
- 1:06:21Speaker 4: these guys. But the hardness of him, like, just frostbit
- 1:06:25Speaker 4: fucking Mickey didn't matter. But that Sisu thing, there was
- 1:06:28Speaker 4: something different in that. You were like, I can't put
- 1:06:31Speaker 4: myself in your man's because he's like 70. Do you
- 1:06:34Speaker 4: know what I mean? I can't put myself in. And
- 1:06:36Speaker 4: he's supposed to be an Owl Lad. But then again,
- 1:06:40Speaker 4: I was kind of going, God, this is very original.
- 1:06:42Speaker 4: But then they kind of did it. They were able
- 1:06:44Speaker 4: to magically find his record. Turns out it was like
- 1:06:47Speaker 4: when they found Steven Seagal's record for being the chef.
- 1:06:51Speaker 3: Yes. Yeah. Oh, my God. You don't know who you're
- 1:06:53Speaker 3: fucking with.
- 1:06:55Speaker 4: I didn't want to hear any of that shit. Why
- 1:06:57Speaker 4: do you bother with that? Why did you bother with that?
- 1:06:59Speaker 4: You know what I mean? You've kind of fucking, you've
- 1:07:03Speaker 4: gone a bit fucking back to the, back to, you're
- 1:07:06Speaker 4: reverted back to an old script here.
- 1:07:08Speaker 3: To old, to old tropes. Yeah. And, and like it's, it's, it's,
- 1:07:13Speaker 3: but at the same time, a fun time at the movies, my,
- 1:07:16Speaker 3: my problem with Sisu was, and I know that, I
- 1:07:17Speaker 3: know that the, the, the, they sort of explained this
- 1:07:23Speaker 3: by being like, oh, he's like a semi-mythical kind of
- 1:07:25Speaker 3: fucking dude. But again, it was like, He gets shot
- 1:07:28Speaker 3: like 60 times and he's beaten and set on fire
- 1:07:31Speaker 3: and he's grand. You know, he's just fine. He's got
- 1:07:35Speaker 3: no problem whatsoever. So there's a bit of that in it.
- 1:07:40Speaker 3: It's a bit of like, well, you know, he's a.
- 1:07:42Speaker 4: You're supposed to suspend a lot of disbelief.
- 1:07:44Speaker 2: Exactly.
- 1:07:45Speaker 4: You know what I mean? But at the same time,
- 1:07:47Speaker 4: it gave a slightly different.
- 1:07:51Speaker 4: Grittier thing than what you normally what would you be
- 1:07:54Speaker 4: the choreographed dance that we're getting a lot lately lately
- 1:07:57Speaker 4: in these these action movies we were like oh okay
- 1:07:59Speaker 4: right there's all right okay you've practiced this for six
- 1:08:02Speaker 4: months yeah there was a few there was a few
- 1:08:05Speaker 4: outlier ones like 300 with zach schneider that time that
- 1:08:09Speaker 4: really did like in how because cgi had gone to
- 1:08:12Speaker 4: fuck they were you know what i.
- 1:08:13Speaker 3: Mean this is it i think like when they brought
- 1:08:15Speaker 3: in cgi and and and that was kind of like
- 1:08:18Speaker 3: It used to be, as I said, Tom, it used
- 1:08:19Speaker 3: to be like you drive a car and petrol explodes
- 1:08:22Speaker 3: and bullets and you slide across bonnets. And then it
- 1:08:24Speaker 3: was like, all right, well, what if there was CGI?
- 1:08:28Speaker 3: What if there was also like a monster chasing them?
- 1:08:32Speaker 4: I need to send you on one where I don't
- 1:08:34Speaker 4: know what TV show it's from. It could be Thunder
- 1:08:37Speaker 4: in Paradise. I don't know. But it was Davey Boy
- 1:08:40Speaker 4: Smith saves Sting from an exploding boat. And it's... No,
- 1:08:47Speaker 4: it is the greatest ball of shit that you will
- 1:08:51Speaker 4: ever witness for two minutes on your computer screen. But
- 1:08:55Speaker 4: it's fucking hilarious. But it's it absolutely epitomizes how the
- 1:09:01Speaker 4: 90s had kind of lost the run of.
- 1:09:02Speaker 3: Itself had lost the run of themselves yeah.
- 1:09:04Speaker 4: Yeah yeah we oh fuck what have we done here
- 1:09:06Speaker 4: like could you stick these two muscle-bound freaks you know
- 1:09:09Speaker 4: who can't fucking barely wrestle you know what i mean
- 1:09:12Speaker 4: they can just about and they cannot fucking act and
- 1:09:15Speaker 4: and let them cook Let them go.
- 1:09:17Speaker 3: Come here, Tom. That brings us up kind of to quarantine.
- 1:09:20Speaker 3: There are a couple of action movies here and there
- 1:09:23Speaker 3: and like things that get made for Netflix and this
- 1:09:26Speaker 3: kind of thing, it tend to be like very expensive
- 1:09:28Speaker 3: and shite. And it'll be like, oh, it's Chris Evans
- 1:09:31Speaker 3: and fucking Ryan Gosling and it's an action movie.
- 1:09:35Speaker 4: Who's that big blonde fella? Alan something or other. He's
- 1:09:37Speaker 4: showing up everywhere. The big good looking fella.
- 1:09:40Speaker 3: Oh yeah, Reacher. Alan Reacher.
- 1:09:42Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, yeah. But again, it's heavily choreographed.
- 1:09:45Speaker 3: Let's put him in a film for a while.
- 1:09:47Speaker 4: You can't buy a 22 stone man. No. I'm tipping around, lads.
- 1:09:52Speaker 4: It comes a point where enough people these days know
- 1:09:55Speaker 4: about nutrition and you're going, come on now.
- 1:09:59Speaker 3: Honestly, maybe we just had a too good, you know,
- 1:10:03Speaker 3: we say we miss Arnie and he was a big
- 1:10:05Speaker 3: muscle-bound fucking roid head. And they say, okay, well, we'll
- 1:10:09Speaker 3: get you another Arnie.
- 1:10:10Speaker 4: Look, here he is.
- 1:10:10Speaker 3: It's Alan Richson. He's Richson from Reacher. He's fucking as
- 1:10:13Speaker 3: tall as Arnie and as broad as Arnie. And they're like,
- 1:10:16Speaker 3: it's like when your dog dies when you're small and
- 1:10:18Speaker 3: you get a new one. It's like, yeah, yeah. It's
- 1:10:21Speaker 3: a nice dog. Yeah. Yeah. He's lovely, but, you know,
- 1:10:24Speaker 3: he's not the old dog. He's not the old guy.
- 1:10:27Speaker 4: Or, you know, your mother burns an actual genuine, maybe
- 1:10:29Speaker 4: Brazil jersey you had when you were small.
- 1:10:32Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 1:10:32Speaker 4: And the next thing she goes to Dunn's and gets
- 1:10:34Speaker 4: you one that says Brazil on it.
- 1:10:35Speaker 3: Yeah. It's like, It's not it, man.
- 1:10:37Speaker 4: Yeah. I'm not sure who'd know.
- 1:10:39Speaker 3: Who'd know? I'd know. I'd know. So here we are.
- 1:10:43Speaker 3: It remains to be seen. And much like we had
- 1:10:45Speaker 3: it with the comedy movies last week, you know, it's
- 1:10:51Speaker 3: all down to who is going out to see these things.
- 1:10:53Speaker 3: Who's paying money to go and sit down on them?
- 1:10:55Speaker 3: If you're getting it for nothing on Netflix, are you
- 1:10:57Speaker 3: going to leave the house and go and see an
- 1:10:59Speaker 3: action movie in the cinema?
- 1:11:01Speaker 4: The dynamic has changed.
- 1:11:02Speaker 3: You know, if you don't, they're not going to make them.
- 1:11:04Speaker 3: And I think that has And I think they're out
- 1:11:07Speaker 3: of ideas.
- 1:11:08Speaker 4: That's the big thing. They're out of ideas. And they
- 1:11:11Speaker 4: tried the comedy mixed with it and it's kind of like, well, what?
- 1:11:16Speaker 4: You know, I think the last place and the next
- 1:11:22Speaker 4: place and the only place they can really go is
- 1:11:24Speaker 4: to find somebody who has no humour in them, possibly
- 1:11:27Speaker 4: isn't even nice, and just is all in on being
- 1:11:31Speaker 4: an action star. And I think possibly they have to
- 1:11:33Speaker 4: just pull Daniel Day-Lewis out of retirement. Get him jacked
- 1:11:38Speaker 4: to fuck. Because he will go all in. Like, if
- 1:11:41Speaker 4: he's got to be a Nazi officer. Just saying.
- 1:11:45Speaker 3: Do you know who they want to get? Like, just
- 1:11:47Speaker 3: surprise us. Just get Mark Zuckerberg to bring his Brazilian
- 1:11:50Speaker 3: jiu-jitsu skills to the cinematic world. Have Die Hard in
- 1:11:55Speaker 3: the fucking Waterfront Castle.
- 1:11:57Speaker 4: And then I want to, no, I want to see
- 1:11:58Speaker 4: the Hulk make passionate, hard love to him.
- 1:12:01Speaker 3: Oh, yeah. Drive that bony little fuck.
- 1:12:03Speaker 4: Into the crowd.
- 1:12:06Speaker 3: Just like, are we fucking off the reservation here?
- 1:12:08Speaker 4: Behind the candelabra. The Waterford edition.
- 1:12:12Speaker 3: Behind the Waterford crystal. What are we going to do
- 1:12:19Speaker 3: with this goddamn podcast? What are we going to do?
- 1:12:22Speaker 3: Jesus Christ. We are going to go over to the
- 1:12:24Speaker 3: social media pages where you can follow Tom and Jerry
- 1:12:27Speaker 3: show on Instagram at Tom and Jerry, Tom with a T,
- 1:12:29Speaker 3: Jerry with a G, you know, one comment from your
- 1:12:32Speaker 3: fine folks can throw, can, can set us off on
- 1:12:35Speaker 3: a multi-week, uh, um, voyage of discovery on this thing. Uh,
- 1:12:40Speaker 3: so throw your comments in, agree with us, disagree with us. Uh,
- 1:12:44Speaker 3: we would love to hear it. Uh, I'm rambling at
- 1:12:47Speaker 3: Tom and Jerry show.
- 1:12:49Speaker 4: The, of course, jump on and hit, hit, hit, subscribe
- 1:12:52Speaker 4: to us, whatever platform you're listening on. You can actually comment.
- 1:12:55Speaker 4: Deirdre commented over there, in fairness. She's bang on with
- 1:12:58Speaker 4: a load of these, like Ryan Reynolds. Yeah, Kevin Hart,
- 1:13:01Speaker 4: Jason Beatman. Yeah, Jason Beatman. He's watery, but he's... These
- 1:13:04Speaker 4: guys come.
- 1:13:05Speaker 3: You know.
- 1:13:06Speaker 4: Melissa McCarthy, Jack Black. Yeah, you know what I mean?
- 1:13:08Speaker 4: They're decent comedy actors back in the day. Like, and Black,
- 1:13:12Speaker 4: you know, he does play the same character over and over.
- 1:13:14Speaker 3: So does Kevin Hart.
- 1:13:15Speaker 4: You know what I mean?
- 1:13:16Speaker 3: Your mileage may vary.
- 1:13:17Speaker 4: She agrees.
- 1:13:18Speaker 3: I've seen that comment. She threw in one that we
- 1:13:21Speaker 3: might come back around to again about Irish movies. The
- 1:13:24Speaker 3: Young Offenders, which I've never seen. We should probably give
- 1:13:27Speaker 3: a shout out to those guys. It is very good.
- 1:13:30Speaker 4: It is very, very good.
- 1:13:31Speaker 3: Maybe we do Irish movie specials somewhere down the line.
- 1:13:33Speaker 3: We should actually, yeah.
- 1:13:34Speaker 4: Irish movies. I mean, invariably they love lately the one,
- 1:13:38Speaker 4: and it seems to be the safe bet for Irish
- 1:13:39Speaker 4: movies because we've lots of scary forests, is to make
- 1:13:42Speaker 4: a horror movie. To where people can't get out of them.
- 1:13:44Speaker 3: Do you know what I'll tell you? I'll tell you
- 1:13:45Speaker 3: what we'll do, Tom. I'll tell you what we'll do.
- 1:13:47Speaker 3: We'll come back around on Halloween and we'll do another
- 1:13:49Speaker 3: of these for scary movies we've seen down three years. Perfect.
- 1:13:51Speaker 4: Yeah. Yeah. Now you're talking.
- 1:13:53Speaker 3: We'll stick that for Halloween and we'll see how we do.
- 1:13:56Speaker 3: So you want to follow us on the channels, Tom?
- 1:13:59Speaker 3: We'd like higher ratings, wouldn't we? Go ahead.
- 1:14:01Speaker 4: Give us the five stars if you can. Hit the
- 1:14:02Speaker 4: bell so it arrives into your phone slash tablet slash
- 1:14:05Speaker 4: whatever it is in whatever platform or whatever device you're
- 1:14:09Speaker 4: listening on it'll land on. Thursday mornings. If you can't
- 1:14:12Speaker 4: share with friends and family, that'd be absolutely lovely. Right, Ger,
- 1:14:16Speaker 4: I'm away to rub some more various creams and maybe potions.
- 1:14:20Speaker 3: Of some sort.
- 1:14:21Speaker 4: I might need an outwitch to see can I get
- 1:14:23Speaker 4: myself sorted, but I reckon there's much like a hangover now.
- 1:14:27Speaker 4: I think it's Wednesday before I come back around again.
- 1:14:30Speaker 3: Well, I'm going to go downstairs, Tom, and make friends
- 1:14:32Speaker 3: with my dog.
- 1:14:32Speaker 4: Good luck.
- 1:14:34Speaker 3: Good luck.